Independence
by Madison0705
Summary: Ana is a struggling college student who had a rough childhood which included physical abuse, verbal abuse, neglect and ended with her running away at 16. Ana is an strong, independent woman who has learned not to rely on other's for help. Christian is still the man we all love but has begun to realize his life needs to change. See how Ana & Christian meet.
1. Chapter 1

_A story line that's been floating around in my mind for a couple months now so I thought I would give it a shot. This is my first story so please go easy…._

**Ana's Point of View:**

As I finish up my last class of the day, I look at my watch and realize I have an hour free before my waitressing shift starts. I work part time at a local Italian restaurant waitressing in the evenings after my college classes end as well as some weekends when they need extra help. It's not the most glamorous job but it pays for my school books, supplies and personal items. The owner is very flexible with accommodating my school schedule and calls me when another waitress calls out sick knowing that I would never turn down additional work. Deciding to stop by the student union for a quick bite to eat, I gather up my belongings and quickly leave the classroom.

"ANA!" I hear my best friend call for me from out of no where.

"KATE!" I giggle and move to the of the walkway to wait for her.

Kate and I have been friends for the past 3 years ever since we met during Freshman orientation. Kate is a journalism major whereas I am an English Lit major therefore we don't have many classes together. Kate and I are almost complete opposites; she is a social butterfly whereas I tend to prefer to be alone or in small groups. Kate is very outgoing and outspoken, making journalism the perfect career for her, whereas I am more shy and quite.

"Where are you headed?" Kate asks.

"Grabbing a quick bite at the union before my shift starts," I respond.

"You work too much! You should call out sick and come to the club with me tonight instead!" Kate suggests.

I sigh. As I much as I would like to go to the club with Kate, even though I'm not fond of the large group setting, unfortunately I need to work to have money. Kate has no concept of this as her parents pay her rent at a condo (_I always thought it was weird in the book that her parents would purchase a condo for her)_ as well as all her bills. I on the other hand have no financial support from anyone other than the scholarships I received which is the only reason I am even able to attend college. The scholarships cover practically 90% of the tuition however that leaves 10% of the bill to pay plus books, notebooks, extra reading material, my cell phone, travel costs and of course spending money. If I don't work, I won't have money for school.

"Maybe another time Kate, the restaurant is short staffed tonight as one of the waitresses went on vacation," I lie.

"Sure Ana…" Kate replies, clearly disappointed with my response.

"How about this weekend? I am off Saturday night, maybe we could do something then?" I ask.

"Perfect Ana! There's a new dance club we could try or maybe we could order pizza and watch movies at my place? We haven't had a chance to do that in months!" Kate responds.

"Oh Kate! We did that 2 weekends ago but sounds good! Let me know what you want to do. If you don't mind maybe I can crash at your place that night? That way I wont have to leave before the buses stop running" I suggest.

"Of course! You can have the spare room which is practically your bedroom anyway! I don't understand why you don't just move in with me instead of living across town and worrying about bus schedules" Kate says as we approach the student union.

"Kate…we've been through this before. I have a lease on my apartment that I can't break until graduation. I don't mind the buses except on the nights when you want to go out" I respond laughing.

"I have to run to my next class. We will talk later this week okay?" Kate asks.

"Sounds good," I respond hugging Kate goodbye.

I watch Kate walk away before going into the student union to order a sandwich for dinner. I grab my dinner and begin the 2 mile walk to work. I hate talking to Kate about my living situation, but there's no way I can tell her that I'm practically homeless. The first 2 years of college I stayed at various shelters throughout Seattle before finally saving enough money to be able to rent a room in a boarding house. It's in a pretty rough neighborhood and I'm pretty sure a few of the residents are selling drugs out of their rooms, but it's a place to lay my head each night. It's better than the shelters because if you do not get there early you may not get a bed. Luckily I never had to sleep on the street, but I've had to spend the night in some not so nice shelters and once I slept at the bus station. The room has a lock on the door and I don't have anything of value to worry about someone stealing anything. I'm only there a few hours each night to sleep so I try to make the best of the situation.

I know it would be easy to take Kate up on her offer and move into her spare bedroom. It's much closer to campus, within walking distance, instead of the 3 different buses I have to take to and from campus. But I could never afford the rent Kate's parents pay for her apartment, even just a portion of what the rent must cost is probably more than I make waitressing in 3 months! I'm sure Kate would probably refuse to allow me to pay rent but I don't feel comfortable mooching off of people. I want to be able to say that I got through college on my own, just like I did everything else in my life since I ran away at 16.

I'm deep in my thoughts, dangerously close to having a flashback when I suddenly hit a brick wall. Or what felt like a brick wall and I nearly fall down.

"Fuck!" I hear as a strong arm reaches around my waste insuring I don't land flat on my ass on the side walk.

"I am so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going" I mumble before glancing up to see the person who saved me from my fall.

I feel my face grow hot as I look up and realize the man I just walked straight into is absolutely gorgeous! Of course that would be my luck…make an utter fool out of myself with someone as good looking at this man! He is just over 6 feet tall with grey eyes and this messy copper hair that makes me want to run my fingers through it.

STOP IT! I tell myself, I rarely notice men nevermind find myself blushing over one!

"Nonsense, it was my fault. I was too busy responding to an email to watch where I was walking. Why don't we sit down for a moment?" The stranger says. Without waiting for a response he takes my hand and leads me to a bench nearby.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks to you," I respond.

"Huh?" He looks at me confused.

"I almost fell on my butt but you saved me" I giggle.

He laughs too and it's only at that time do I realize he is still holding my hand. I make no attempt to move it and neither does he. We watch people walk by for a few moments, sitting in comfortable silence which is surprising since we are complete strangers. His phone rings and he quickly pushes a button silencing or ending the call.

"Sorry about that" he says.

"It's okay, I need to be going anyway or I will be late for work" I respond having realized my shift is due to start in 15 minutes and I'm still a few blocks from the restaurant.

"Are you sure you are okay?" He asks.

"Of course, although I can't say the same about my dinner" I giggle realizing the bag with by sandwich in it is on the sidewalk stepped on by several people.

"Let me take you to get something else, it's the least I could do" He responds.

"No it's fine. Honestly it was probably two days old anyway. I will grab something at work tonight when I take my break" I respond. Unfortunately with my shift starting I have no time to take him up on his offer.

"Here, take this for your dinner" he reaches into his wallet and hands me a $20 bill.

"I can't take this. It's was just a sandwhich, this is far too much" I respond pushing the money back towards him.

"Please, I insist. I ruined your dinner so it's the least I could do," he says pushing the money into my hand.

I reluctantly decide not to argue and put the money in my pocket.

"Thank you" I say.

"You are most welcome" he responds. "Maybe we will bump into each other again."

"Let's hope not literally this time" I giggle and gather my bookbag which has my uniform in it.

We both say good bye and part ways. I'm nearly a block away before I realize that despite all the talking we just did, we never exchanged names. I don't think I have ever been so comfortable with someone I first met. Usually I am a nervous wreck and constantly second guess everything I say. This just felt different.


	2. Chapter 2

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy; no copyright intended._

CHPT 2: Christian's POV

"FUCK!" I scream as I slam down my phone on the receiver. I have been working 14 and 16 hour days for the past month trying to finish a deal with a local company to take over a publishing company and they seem to keep delaying the inevitable. I don't understand why they are trying to delay the sale of the company. If they don't sale the company will fold in less than a year. If they sell, with Grey Enterprise's assistance they will not only stay afloat but likely become one of the leading publishers in all of Seattle.

"Andrea!" I yell to my assistant.

"Yes, Mr. Grey?" Andrea says as she quickly enters my office.

"I'm going out to pick up lunch," I inform her.

"Uh….Mr. Grey I would be more than happy to pick something up for you or have something delivered" she says, obviously surprised as I never pick up my own lunch. Either Gail, my housekeeper, sends something or I have Andrea order something ahead of time.

"No, I need to get out of the office for a few minutes. I am capable of picking up my own lunch" I snap.

"Of course Mr. Grey, I'm sorry" she mummers while looking at her hands.

"Please hold my calls until I return" I state and walk out.

I don't give Andrea a chance to respond before I walk out and head to the elevator. I need to get out of this office before I fire someone who I actually need. The elevator ride is quick and I exit the lobby without paying attention to anyone or anything. I start walking with no destination in mind; I just need to clear my head. I've walked a few blocks before realizing I neglected to inform Taylor I left the building. No doubt by this time he has been alerted to my departure, but none the less I pull out my blackberry and begin typing him an email.

To: Jason Taylor

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Lunch

I have stepped out to find some lunch. I doubt I will be in serious danger walking down the sidewalk.

Christian Grey,  
CEO Grey Enterprises

I probably shouldn't give a fuck about notifying Taylor but…

WAM!

All of a sudden I walk into what feels like a wall. I quickly glance up to see I walked right into someone. My instincts kick in just as she is about to fall and I reach my arm around her waste pulling her into me. I hold her steady for a minute before looking down to insure she is okay. When she looks up her eyes look right into mine and it's as if she can see right through me. We stand like that for a moment or two before I realize her hand is in the middle of my chest. How did I fail to realize this? I avoid anyone touching my chest because it usually causes such severe physical and emotional pain. With her there was nothing; hell I didn't even realize she was touching me for several minutes.

I make sure she is not injured before guiding her over to a nearby bench so she can catch her breath. We make small chat with each other and it feels strangely comfortable to just sit and talk with her. She's not like other women who throw themselves at me or can't form a sentence because they are too stunned by my looks. I know that sounds conceited but it's true. I'm a very good looking man but what everyone fails to realize is it's just a face.

My phone suddenly rings, glancing down I see that it's Taylor so I hit the silence button. He's probably wondering where I am but right now I don't want to be disturbed. I'm enjoying spending time with the beautiful woman and forgetting even for just a few minutes the difficult publishing company. Suddenly, she is saying she needs to leave as she has to get to work. She jokes about losing her dinner which I quickly see has been stepped on by several people who were walking by not watching where they were going. I surprise myself by offering to take her to dinner; I can't remember the last time I offered to take a woman to dinner who was not a current sub, family member or business associate. She declines my offer, however after some additional discussion agrees to take money so she can purchase dinner while she is working.

We part ways and say goodbye heading in opposite directions. I walk a few feet, turn around and watch her walk away until I can no longer see her in the crowd. It's only at this time do I realize I don't even know this beautiful woman's name.

**Ana's POV:**

The shift at the restaurant flies by and before I realize it my shift is over. I spent the entire shift replaying the meeting with the gorgeous stranger in mind. I have continuously kicked myself for not asking his name or at least introducing myself. After much internal discussion, I have decided to let faith take over and wait to see if we will meet again. The likelihood of our paths crossing again are very slim, but if the universe wanted us to meet again we will. I long ago gave up hoping for good things to happen to me and have instead learned to just live day by day and let what happens happens. Hoping for things to happen will only lead to disappointment as I learned all those years living with my mother and her many different boyfriends.

The next few days are the same and I don't see my gorgeous stranger, although I find myself walking the same path from college to the restaurant. A couple times I have even stopped at the bench, sat down and watched people walk by just to see if he would happen to walk by at the same time. Of course he doesn't walk by and life goes on.

"Ana!" Kate calls for me just as second class is ending.

"Hey Kate! What's up?" I ask.

"Are we still on for tomorrow night?" She asks, obviously thinking I have changed my mind or I need to work.

"Of course! How does movie and pizza sound?" I ask, trying to avoid going to the dance club.

"I will make you a deal" Kate says.

Uh oh, I think to myself. This can't be good.

"Movie and pizza this weekend but in two weeks we go to the club. How's that sound?" She asks.

"I suppose that's fine" I answer; Kate knows how to get what she wants so there's no chance of getting out of going to the club.

"Great! I'll see you tomorrow around 3?" Kate asks

"Sounds good!" I respond and head to my next class.

My shift that night drags on and maybe it's just me but the customers seem more cranky than usual. I have been a waitress at this restaurant for 5 years now and I love the people I work with but sometimes the customers can be a little much to handle. It's a very high end, well known Italian restaurant in the Seattle area and the meals are not cheap to say the least. Our appetizers start at just over $30 and entrees easily double that. Working in such a high end restaurant typically means the customers tip very well since they are not the type to worry about spending money. The downside is that sometimes these customers can be very demanding and often feel entitled.

Tonight was one of those nights with several demanding customers. One customer it just seemed like there was no pleasing her no matter what I did. I could tell the moment she walked in she would be a difficult customer.

"Good Evening, can I start you off with some drinks?" I ask.

"I want a glass of water with 4 ice cubs and a slice of lemon. When you bring my entre I want a glass of white wine _(think something expensive-I know nothing about wine!)_" answers the older bleach blond lady.

"I'll have a beer please" answers her much younger male friend.

"Of course, I will be right back with your drinks and will then take your order" I respond.

"No. We will order now and then you will get our drinks. I don't have all night to wait for your to come back from your break before taking my order" says the bleach blond.

"Of course, would you like an appetizer to start?" I asking, counting silently to 10 so I don't snap at this lady who has had clearly too much Botox done.

"We will take your fried calamarie appetizer, lobster bisque soup and a garden salad with dressing on the side. Do not put dressing on the salad. For the entre, I will have the stuffed chicken breast over rice pilaf and mixed vegetables. He will have New York Strip steak cooked medium well, seasoned mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables" states the bleach blond.

"Of course. I will be back shortly with your drinks" I respond putting away my notepad and taking their menus.

"Don't wait until after your break to bring drinks or to place my order. I don't have all night" states the blond bitch.

"Yes ma'am" I respond and quickly walk into the kitchen.

"Hi Ana! How's it going this evening" asks Antonio the own.

"It's going well Antonio, thank you for asking. How are the kids?" I ask politely. I decide against telling him about this customer as I don't want to appear to be complaining.

"They are doing so good in school and getting so big!" Antonio responds before excusing himself to take a call.

I place the order with the chef and the bartender before returning to the kitchen to get the glass of water for the bleach blond bitch. The bartender is a little backed up so I check on two of my other tables before returning for the water and beer.

"Excuse me….your drinks" I state gently setting the drinks on the table.

"It's about time" mumbles the blond bitch before returning to her conversation with the young gentleman. "You may go now" she states.

UGH! I think to myself as I head back to the kitchen. This is the downside of working in an establishment like this. This woman clearly knows what she wants and expects everyone to jump when she says so. Seeing people like her though make me realize that money can buy many things but it cannot buy happiness. I have seen many unhappy people drop hundreds of dollars on dinner and drinks.

"Excuse me….here are your dishes" I again interrupt the conversation between Ms. Bitch and her friend. I set the food down in front of them and place Ms. Bitch's wine in front of her having made sure to pick it up on my way to the table with the food.

"You may go" she again responds without evening looking up.

I check on them a few more times during the evening and Ms. Bitch doesn't have any new demands. She asked for more wine and more water while her friend asked for another beer. They finish their meal and spend a significant amount of time talking. I see her occasionally reach under the table and run his thigh, occasionally getting slightly inappropriate. She seems so much older than her companion, I can't imagine what he sees in her!

"Excuse me…would you be interested in hearing about our desert specials this evening?" I ask.

"Of course…that's your job isn't it?" Ms. Bitch responds.

I silently count to 10 before listing the desert specials, after which Ms. Bitch and her friend decline to place an additional order. I prepare the bill and leave it on the table for them before checking on the remainder of my tables. When I return to the table, Ms. Bitch and her friend are gone having left cash in the bill holder. I take it up to the bartender who hands me back $0.97 which apparently is the only tip I'm getting from that table tonight. Luckily my other tables tipped well this evening I think as I punch out and begin my walk to the bus stop to head home.


	3. Chapter 3

_Once again, I do not own the characters as they all belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades Trilogy._

**Chpt. 3: Ana's POV**

_I wake up hearing yelling coming from the living room. I can't make out what they are saying but they are loud and I hear them both cursing. I hear things being thrown against the walls and glass breaking. I try to put a pillow over my head to drown out the yelling but nothing works. I can still hear them. I need to go to the bathroom, but I don't want to leave my room. I don't want to see them. I don't want them to see me. I don't want to get hit again. I try to hold it as long as I can but I'm going to pee my pants if I don't go to the bathroom soon._

_I tiptoe out of my bedroom and head down the long hallway to the bathroom. There is only one bathroom in the apartment which is right off the living room where they are arguing. _

_"You Bitch! You only think about yourself!" He yells._

_"Me? You gamble your money away and don't think about anything other than your next winning!" She yells._

_SLAP_

_"Don't you ever talk to me like that again! Next time it will be worse!" He yells._

_"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry…" she says while crying._

_"You always say you're sorry but you never show it. This place is a disaster, you never cook dinner for me and it looks like we live in a pigsty! If you're really sorry, spend the rest of the night getting this place to look like somewhere I would want to live. If it doesn't look like I want to stay here when I get up I'm leaving and not coming back" he yells._

_"I will make it better for you, I promise. I'm so sorry" she cries._

_I finish going to the bathroom and think perhaps it's quiet enough for me to sneak back to my room without being noticed. I open the bathroom door and step out only for the floor to creak. _

_"Great…now you have woken up your bitch of a daughter. The apple clearly hasn't fallen from the tree with her. She is just like you…a no good peace of ass. You both have the same attitude and don't know who to show your appreciation for someone who works so hard for you" he yells and I can tell by his footsteps he is coming out of the living room. I freeze, suddenly I can't move but my mind is yelling at my body to get back to my room._

_"Please don't hurt her! She didn't do anything" she yells._

_"Didn't do anything is exactly the problem! She didn't clean the house while we were at the casino, she didn't make dinner or buy beer so I could have something to drink when I got home" he yells rounding the corner coming face to face with me._

_He grabs my ponytail and pulls me towards him. He's holding it so tight I think he has pulled out a chunk of hair. I don't say anything. I've learned by now not to argue with him or it will just be worse. It's better to be quiet and do what he says._

_"Get in their bitch and help your fucking mother clean this pigsty of a house! There is no excuse for the house to look like this when you were home after school today! I don't care if you stay up all night, I want this place shining when I wake up or their will be hell to pay" he yells pushing me hard into the living causing me to fall onto my hands and knees._

_"And by hell, I mean hell for you because I'm sure I will be enjoying it" he yells as he storms out._

I wake up sweating with tears rolling down my cheeks. I look at the clock and I see it's just after 5am; it's been awhile since I've had a nightmare – probably close to a week. I glance up and see my door is still locked so I know I'm safe. I double check the window, which is also locked. I know the reality is that they are not out there, but after having a nightmare I always feel like they are watching me. It's been years since I have seen either of them but the nightmares still continue. I can only hope someday they will disappear for good.

Realizing I won't be able to go back to sleep, I gather my stuff and head to the shower. I take my cell phone with me and lock my door behind me. I've learned that if you want a shower in this place you have to do it first thing in the morning. If you wait any longer there is no hot water; if you wait until the evening hours you will likely find questionable activity going on in there. I always bring a bottle of disinfectant with me and clean the shower before I get in. I always wear water shoes in the shower as well. After living here for a couple of weeks I went to take a shower after my shift after the restaurant only to walk into several people having sex in the shower stall. After that, I always scrubbed the shower before I got in and started taking a shower in the morning.

After my shower I return to my room to gather a few things. I don't like spending time here unless I have to. The weekends are tough because I don't always have someplace to go if the restaurant doesn't need help. Today I'm going to Kate's but not until later this afternoon. I decide to pack my overnight bag and head to the college to get some studying done before I go to Kate's. It's next to impossible to study here and library is open at the college.

An hour later after 2 bus transfers I arrive at the college. I study for awhile, grab some lunch and walk around the track while listening to music. I manage to get all my assignments done that are due this week and start planning out winter break. Our fall semester is almost over and then we have a few weeks off for winter break before spring break starts. I've told the restaurant that I will be available for any additional hours they might have as holidays are usually pretty busy for them. I don't mind since there is no one I will be celebrating the holidays with plus it gives me another excuse to stay away from the house. Once winter break is over my final semester of college begins. If all goes as planned, in about 6 months I will be graduating with my bachelor's degree.

Looking at my watch, I realize it's almost time to head to Kate's so I grab my bag and start walking towards her condo. The walk takes less than ten minutes and I arrive at her place.

"Hey Kate!" I say after she opens the door and hugs me.

"How are you Ana? I feel like I barely saw you this week!" Kate exclaims.

"Good Kate and you? How did the interview go this week?" I ask; Kate had previously mentioned some big interview she was doing for the school paper that she was really excited about.

"Oh Ana, it got rescheduled. Now I have to wait until after winter break. Apparently Mr. Big Shot is too busy to meet over the break so we had to reschedule for the middle of January! " Kate complains.

"What happened that it had to be rescheduled?" I ask.

"His assistant said he had to leave the country suddenly for some big project he is working on. I don't know…he probably just didn't want to do it anyway. It took me months to get the interview in the first place! One way or the other I will get my interview with Mr. Grey for the school paper! Anyway, what's new with you? Did you meet anyone recently?" Kate asks.

"Well…I didn't exactly meet someone but…" I begin, taking a bottle of beer Kate offered.

"What?! When? Who is he?" she asks excitedly.

"Haha, I don't know who he is!" I begin and tell her all about my meeting with Mr. Gorgeous as I know call him in my head.

"Oh that's so sweet! Maybe you will run into him again! You always walk the same route from school to the restaurant to it's bound to happen!" she says.

"I doubt it. He didn't look like the type who was just out walking. He was wearing dress pants, a shirt with a tie and what looked like expensive dress shoes. He looked like he was in between meetings or something" I admit.

"Well we can always hope can't we?" Kate asks smiling.

I smile back but tell myself _no we can't because nothing we hope for ever happens._

Kate and I settle in for pizza and a movie. We watch several chick flicks which just seem to get funnier and funnier as the night progresses. Of course it might have something to do with the beers we are drinking or the couple shots we have done. Neither of us are drunk but have had enough to drink to be very giggly.

We say our good nights and head to bed. I am so thankful that Kate let's me crash here so I don't have to get back to the house so late when drinking and drug use is going strong. Plus her spare bed is so comfortable and I don't need to worry about locking my door before I fall asleep. I decide to take a shower before bed since this is the one place I can take a long shower in without feeling like I come out dirtier than when I go into the shower. After probably a good half an hour, I turn off the water put pajamas on and head to bed. I'm always nervous that I will have a nightmare when I spend the night at Kate's and occasionally it has happened. Only once or twice it woke Kate up but I was able to convince her the nightmare was related to the scary movies we had just watched. It's nearly 3am before I fall asleep, having learned a long time ago if I stay awake really late I will eventually pass out and not have any nightmares as I won't sleep very long. I have set the alarm on my phone for 7am which should be enough sleep to feel rested but not enough to allow me to risk having a nightmare. I doubt I could convince Kate that the nightmare was related to the chick flicks we were watching tonight.

"Ugh what are you doing awake so early?" Asks Kate as she stumbles out of her bedroom a little after 8am.

"Making breakfast of course! Here have coffee" I answer, handing her a cup of freshly made coffee and a plate of chocolate chip pancakes.

"Thanks. But why so early?" Kate asks grumpily; she is not a morning person.

"Couldn't sleep, besides it's a beautiful day out" I respond happily.

"You're too cheery this early" Kate says and starts eating her breakfast.

Kate and I spend the entire day together mostly watching movies but we do grab a bite to eat at a local diner for lunch. I make us chicken Alfredo over pasta for dinner which Kate says I don't need to do; I tell her it's my way of thanking her for letting me spend the weekend at her place. It's partly true, but I also miss cooking. I can't exactly cook in the house I'm staying in; sure there is a kitchen but the dishes are never clean and I don't even want to think about what might occur on those counters. Instead I resort to eating food that I can make in my room using the hot plate or my microwave. It's not ideal and certainly not very healthy but there isn't an alternative until I am able to afford my own place.

Kate and I say our goodbyes shortly after dinner and I start walking to the bus stop to head back to the boarding house. Kate offers to give me a ride but I make an excuse about having to run a few errands before going home. I could never let anyone see where I live; they wouldn't understand and would look at me with pity. Although the room isn't much and the location is not very good, I am proud that I have been able to get this far on my own. When I left I swore I would never rely on anyone for anything again as it only seems to lead to disappointment. I managed to graduate from high school while homeless, attend college and now have a small place to call my own all without support from anyone else.

An hour after leaving Kate's I get off at the last bus stop and begin walking a few blocks to the boarding home. As I get to the block I see police lights down the road and my stomach suddenly drops. The cars are in front of the boarding house.


	4. Chapter 4

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades Trilogy; no copyright intended_

Chpt. 4: Ana's POV

_Flashback_

_I'm walking home from school excited to tell my parents about plans for next week at school. It's the last week of school and the teachers have planned parties to celebrate. We are even having a picnic with a movie on the school lawn! Just as I am reaching our block I see a police car in front of our house. That's weird, I think to myself but head to the house assuming the police car is for a neighbor or something._

_"Mom I'm home!" I call walking into our house._

_My mom comes out of the dinning room wiping her eyes and quickly comes over to hug me. She hugs me tight and for what feels like a long time she doesn't let go. I can tell she's been crying and I immediately start to worry why. _

_"Where's Daddy? Is he home from work yet? I can't wait to tell you about next week at school!" I say finally breaking away from Mom. I run to the living room and the kitchen but don't find my dad. I do see a police officer sitting at our dinning room table; maybe he is a friend of my parents? _

_"Ma'am if you don't need anything else I will be on my way. Please call if you need anything" the officer tells my mom._

_"Of course, thank you" Mom says._

_"I am so sorry" he responds and quickly leaves._

_"Mom? Where's Dad? He said he wouldn't be working late tonight because we were going out to dinner. Is on his way home?" I ask. My dad promised to take us out to dinner because he was going to be out of town for my last day of school next week so we were celebrating early. This was my last week of elementary school; next year I move on to the middle school! I was excited but nervous and dad thought we should celebrate the change in schools._

_"Honey sit down, we need to talk" Mom says patting a spot on the couch._

_"What's up Mom?" I ask still looking around the house for Dad._

_"Your dad left work early like he promised so he could be here when you came home from school. On his way home he was in a very bad car accident and he died" she states with no emotion in her voice._

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's not true! You're lying! He hasn't left work yet! I'm going to call him!" I yell running to my room._

_End flashback_

I am still a few houses away from the boarding home when I sit on the curb of the sidewalk for a moment. I haven't thought about the day my father died in years. I put my head between my knees and try to calm my breathing before I end up in a complete panic attack. Slowly my breathing begins to return to normal and I lift my head to check my surroundings. This really is not the type of neighborhood where you should not be aware of your surroundings I think to myself. I am somewhat comforted by the presence of the police cars which are only a few feet away from where I am sitting. I decide to get up and see what is going on.

"Excuse me officer?" I ask a young woman who is shutting the door on her police car.

"Can I help you?" she responds.

"I am rent a room here and was wondering what was going on?" I ask. I glance inside the police car window and see someone I recognize who also rented a room in the home.

"What's your name?" She asks

"Anastasia Steele" I answer.

She glances at her notepad before responding "Ms. Steele, we have raided this boarding house which was known for illegal drug use and for the selling of illegal drugs. Several residents have been arrested and will be charged with drug related crimes. The entire premise has been searched and all illegal drugs have been ceased. The owner of the house has not yet been located; would you happen to know his whereabouts?"

"Ummmm….no. He only shows up on the first of the month to collect rent and then he doesn't come around again. What is going to happen to the house now?" I ask, afraid I already know the answer.

"Until we reach the owner and determine his involvement in this situation the boarding home license is being suspended. No one will be permitted to reside here until the criminal charges are settled and the owner reapplies for a license" she responds.

"Can I go inside and gather my things?" I ask.

"I will need to accompany you inside and supervise you while you gather your items. According to our notes there was nothing found in your room therefore you are not being charged with a crime" the officer informs me.

"Thank you" I respond as we walk towards the house.

I make my way to the room I rented glancing around seeing the place is even more of a mess than usual. There were holes in the walls, the sofa was over turned and cushions were thrown everywhere and all the cabinets in the kitchen were open. My room is torn apart and the officer gives me an apologetic look but I understand it's their job and they needed to be sure there were no drugs in my room. I shove what I can in my overnight bag and my book bag. I throw the last few items in a garbage bag and take a look around one last time. I can't take the microwave but I have my hot plate which will be enough until I land on my feet again and buy a new one. I have all my school books and supplies plus clothing for work so my job won't be in jeopardy.

"Is there anyone I can call for you?" The officer asks.

"No, thank you. I will be fine" I sigh. Who would I call? What would I say? _Hi Kate, can I stay with you as the house I rented a room in was just busted for drugs. _That would just raise more questions that I want to deal with right now.

"Here's a list of local shelters in the area that could assist you until you find another room to rent" the officer says handing me a printed list of a few shelters most of which I am familiar with. "The second one on this list if very close to here and has beds available tonight."

"Thank you" I respond and begin walking a few blocks to the shelter.

I arrive at the shelter and see not much has changed since I was last there. The same staff are still working there and the setup is pretty much the same. It's a large room with several dozen military style cots in it. Off to the side there are bathrooms and locker rooms. I squeeze what I can into the small locker and find a cot to sleep on. When I left the shelter I vowed to never need to return again. Just another way that life has disappointed me I think to myself as I drift off to sleep.

I wake the next morning at 5am, gather my belongings and leave to head to campus. I have a locker at school that is larger than the one at the shelter where I plan to store some of my belongings. When I first stayed at a shelter I left the items in the locker mistakenly thinking they would be safe when I went to school. I came back to the shelter after school to find the locker broken into and most of my clothing was gone. After that I never left anything at the shelter, but carrying everything you own everyday can be exhausting. Arriving on campus I cram everything but my overnight bag and book bag into my locker. I head to the school's gym and take a shower. It's not ideal but the showers in the shelter have no privacy and you constantly need to worry that someone is going to steal your stuff while you are in there. At 6:30 in the morning there is not much to worry about on a college campus since most students are either sleeping or getting ready for their first class.

As I let the shower water cascade over my body I start to think of my plans now that I am homeless once again. It's likely I will never see my security deposit from the room I rented since I doubt I will ever hear form the owner of the house. I have a few hundred dollars saved up but it's not enough for a security deposit and first month's rent that most landlords will require. I had just paid November's rent so I'm pretty short on cash right now. I figure I can stay at various shelters for a few weeks and hope to have enough money saved for a new place by December or January depending on how many extra shifts I can pick up at the restaurant.

Once the offices open at the school I stop by the commuting student's office and request a second locker. I don't have much of a choice as I can't very well carry around my overnight bag to all my classes without raising concerns. I pay the small deposit and extra fee before splitting my stuff between the two lockers. I have one locker holding my clothes while the second locker is for school stuff and toiletries. I'm lucky that there was a second locker available at the school or I'm not sure how I would have explained the overnight bag to Kate.

The next couple of weeks pass by quickly and I spend nights at different shelters depending on where there are beds available. I start to worry about winter approaching as the shelters tend to fill up faster when the temperatures drop since the people who live on the streets during other times of the year don't want to be outside when it's cold. I remind myself to take it day by day and review the detailed budget I have developed to save for a new security deposit. The last few days at the restaurant have been very good to me; business is picking up with the holidays approaching and customers are more generous with their tips. All of which will help me reach my goal of getting out of the shelters and back into a place of my own.

"Ana are we still on for Saturday night?" Kate asks after class.

"I'm sorry Kate, I can't" I say disappointed. "Antonio has asked me to work this Saturday."

"What? I thought you were off on Saturday? Can't you tell him you already have plans?" Kate begged giving me puppy dog eyes.

"I'm sorry Kate, but I committed to working on Saturday" I explain. "Antonio called me last night begging me to work. Someone has reserved the banquet hall for a holiday party on Saturday and one of the waitresses who was assigned to work the event quit with no notice last night. How about we go to the club in two weeks?"

"Sounds good" Kate answers clearly disappointed. I feel bad cancelling on her but I really need the money if I'm going to rent a place again. Unfortunately I wasn't able to save up enough money for December 1st which I knew was a stretch but with this holiday party I should have enough money to start looking for a new room to rent. Depending on availability I could be in a place for Christmas or at the very latest New Years. Antonio pays very well for private events and the people hosting the party tend to tip very well at the end of the night.

"I promise Kate, even if Antonio calls again I will tell him I can't work that Saturday. We can celebrate the holidays a little early before the semester ends and you go home for winter break" I explain.

"Yeah, I suppose that would work. You're lucky you're my best friend Ana!" Kate exclaims hugging me goodbye.


	5. Chapter 5

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades Trilogy._

**Chpt. 5: Ana's POV**

I wake up Saturday morning a little stiff from sleeping on another uncomfortable cot in a shelter. Although the bed at the boarding home wasn't the best, adding a piece of foam helped make it easier to sleep at night and prevented me from waking up stiff. Unfortunately I had to leave the foam pad at the boarding house since that's not something that you can easily bring from shelter to shelter. Plus, it's not something I can store in a locker at school; even if I could store it there how I would explain that to everyone? My day starts the same as every other day as I ride the bus to campus to shower and work in the computer lab before my shift starts at the restaurant. I'm pulling a double today, working the lunch shift before switching to the private event in the evening hours. I'm bringing an extra uniform with me today as Antonio expects you to be spotless when you work a private event. He doesn't host many private events but when he does he expects only the best.

After I finish working in the computer lab, I change into my lunch uniform opting to wear the pants for the lunch shift which allows me to wear the dressier skirt uniform for the private event later this evening. I eat lunch on campus and grab a few granola bars to stuff in my book bag before heading to the restaurant. Sometimes it gets so busy that you don't really get a full break to eat a meal so the granola bars should tie me over until I can have dinner.

"Thank you again for helping us out today Ana!" Antonio states while greeting me as I walk into the restaurant a few minutes before my shift starts.

"No problem Antonio! What can you tell me about the private event tonight?" I ask realizing all I know is that it's a holiday party.

"It's your typical holiday party for approximately 100 guests. Mark will be the bartender exclusive for this event so you will not need to wait for your drinks very long. All food and beverages are being covered by the hosts of the party just be sure to place all drink orders into the computer system so they are logged. There will be 10 tables set up with each waitress covering two tables. We have servers who will bring out the food so you won't need to worry about getting all the food out at the same time. Your main tasks will be to serve drinks during cocktail hour, take food and beverage orders during dinner and assist with any tasks the hosts may have. Many of the guests attending the party tonight are influential members of the community so there opinion of the establishment could boaster business for us" Antonio explains.

"That would be wonderful, I know you are looking forward to hosting more private events in the future" I respond before punching in and beginning my shift.

The lunch shift is pretty slow today which I don't mind since I am working probably close to 12 or 14 hours. The customers today are pretty easy going, most seem to be stopping in for a bite to eat while holiday shopping. I catch myself day dreaming for a moment about holiday shopping; even if I had the money I'm not sure who I would buy gifts for. Obviously Kate, but I already planned on buying her something small for the holidays given that she is my best friend and helps me in more ways than she will ever know. Honestly, there is no one else I would shop for.

"Ana, I would like to meet with you in about 15 minutes to introduce you to the hosts of our private event tonight. Susan can take over whatever tables you still have at that time" Antonio says walking up to me while thankfully interrupting my personal pity party.

"Of course Antonio. I will speak with Susan now about the two tables I currently have. Both have their main courses so she will only need to concern herself with drinks and possible desert" I respond and quickly find Susan to review the details with her.

I then change into the uniform I set aside of the private event: a knee length black skirt, white long sleeve button down dress shirt, stockings and black dress shoes with a small heal. The shoes are not the most comfortable shoes for waitressing but when you work private events they don't expect you to be wearing sneakers. I know my feet will be sore tomorrow but the money I make from this one party will give me what I need to finally get out of the shelters and have a small place to call my own again. It will be a couple weeks until I receive my paycheck for tonight but I plan to start looking for rooms for rent tomorrow. Once I graduate from college I plan to find a full time job in publishing and then in a few months look for an actual apartment to rent instead of a room in a shady neighborhood.

"Ana please come here" Antonio says ushering me into the private banquet room. "Ana this is Mr. and Mrs. Grey the hosts for the holiday party this evening. Mr. and Mrs. Grey this is Anastasia Steele my most competent waitress who will be your contact throughout the evening." I gulp…Antonio left out that key piece of information when he explained the job to me earlier this afternoon. I've worked many private events over the years for Antonio however I've never been the key contact person as that's usually reserved for one of the full time staff.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Grey" I respond quickly forgetting about my nervousness.

"The pleasure is ours Ms. Steele" Mr. Grey says as we shake hands.

"Ana, please" I respond.

"If you will excuse us I need to explain the set up and schedule to Ana" Antonio states as he leads me to the corner of the room. "This room will be used during the cocktail hour this evening. We will have several severs walking around with appetizers and beverages for the guests. During the cocktail hour, I would like you to handle the behind the scenes issues. Work with the kitchen staff to insure all the food is ready to go and that the servers always have food to bring out. I don't want any guests waiting for appetizers so I would recommend we rotate the appetizers this way there is always a food being served. Mark will take care of the beverages for the wait staff but it wouldn't hurt to check in with him to insure everything is running smoothly. If he needs additional bottles or if something is needed please notify me immediately and I will have one of the staff bring it to him."

Antonio leads me into the kitchen introducing me to the kitchen staff who were exclusively dedicated to tonight's event. We then enter the main room where dinner will be served tonight. I am honestly blown away by the transformation of this room. The room is usually a very nice looking room but tonight it has been transformed into an elegant winter wonderland. The room is decorated in white and cream colors which looks like snow fell everywhere. There is a small amount of snowflakes scattered around the room but not too many to look cheesy.

"Antonio…this looks amazing!" I exclaim truly surprised at the room before me.

"I would love to take credit for this but Mr. and Mrs. Grey had a designer come in and put this room together for their event. As you can see we have all the tables set up around the room complete with dinner settings. The bar is right over there for the wait staff to get the guests drinks or for the guests to speak directly with Mark about a certain drink they would like. The large table in the front will be the head table where Mr. and Mrs. Grey will be seated. Again for the most part I would like you take the key role in managing the behind the scenes tasks to see that this event is a success. Work with the kitchen and the wait staff to insure all dishes are brought out for the entire table at the same time. I don't want half the table to have been served salad while the others on their main course. Everyone should eat at the same time if they are seated at the same table. Mr. and Mrs. Grey's table will be served first of course since they are the hosts for the evening. Please touch base with Mr. or Mrs. Grey periodically throughout the evening to see how everything is needed. The key thing here is to not appear like you are interrupting them so don't ask them too often. Occasionally walk through the dining area to insure everything is going well at the tables and the guests are satisfied. This will give Mr. and Mrs. Grey an opportunity to discuss something with you if needed. "

"Of course Mr. Antonio" I respond. "Can I ask you something?"

"Ana, I already know what you are going to ask" he answers with a gentle smile. "Yes, I think you are ready for this. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this morning about your role this evening but I knew if I did you would spend the day worrying needlessly about it. You are an exceptional server and you know this place almost as good as I do. All the staff respect you and even when faced with difficult customers you always remain professional. I am confident that you can handle this, but should something arise I will be in my office or in the main dining room all evening. I am not leaving until this event is over tonight."

"Thank you Antonio. I appreciate the confidence you have in me" I respond shyly and make my way to the kitchen to see who is working this evening. While I'm glad Antonio has such confidence in me, I just wish I was as confident as he was. Everything he said was true, but I still find myself a nervous wreck as guests begin to arrive for cocktail hour. Throughout cocktail hour I spend the majority of the time in the kitchen insuring all the appetizers are going out as needed. Surprisingly everything goes smoothly and I go to check on Mark.

"Hi Mark, how's it going?" I ask. Mark and I have worked several shifts together over the years and a couple private events in the past.

"So far so good. The bar is fully stocked, we have plenty of glasses and ice so I think we should be okay for awhile. I will probably need more ice about half way through dinner service but I will let you know in plenty of time and won't let us run out ice" Mark says laughing.

"I appreciate it. I spoken with a couple of the guys in the kitchen and David will be handling the ice and glasses for the bar. I asked him to check in with you as the servers bring the salads or soup at dinner and then again as desert is being served. Of course if you need anything at a different time I can grab him for you" I explain.

"Wow that's great Ana. Very organized" Mark says before returning to filling up glasses with champagne.

I take a deep breath and begin walking around the cocktail hour room stopping every few minutes to pick up a dropped napkin or straighten a table cloth. I briefly see Mrs. Grace and pause for a moment to see if she needs anything as Antonio suggested. She smiles in my direction but continues in her conversation with a guest so I assume all is well. The room is filled with men and woman dressed in very expensive clothing most of which are engaged in business discussions. A laugh to myself thinking what they spent on one outfit for tonight is probably more than I make in an entire year.

The rest of cocktail hour goes smoothly and it's time to begin moving to the main dining area for dinner to be served. I approach Mrs. Grey who is in a conversation with a guest I immediately recognize; the blond bitch from a month or so ago who gave me the lousy tip. Most of the customers in the restaurant I barely remember but sometimes they stand out. Some will chat for a few minutes which I try to make it a point to remember because those are the customers who usually return. They appreciate you remembering small things that they discussed with you during previous visits which makes their dining experience that much more enjoyable. And then there are the customers like the blond bitch who are rude and either don't tip at all or tip like this woman did which was a pile of change. As Mrs. Grey pauses in her discussion after I signal to her that I need to speak with her.

"Excuse me Elaina" Mrs. Grey says to the blond bitch she was speaking to.

"Of course Grace, I see someone I need to speak with anyway" Blond bitch says before glancing my way. She gives me a dirty look and I see her walk towards a small group of people gathering at the bar.

"Mrs. Grey, if this is a convenient time I would suggest we invite everyone into the main area for dinner" I say.

"Of course, thank you Ana" Mrs. Grey says.

I inform the wait staff to begin asking the guests to make their way into the main dining area as I open the large doors connecting the rooms. Guests begin to slowly make their way into the room and find their tables. I stop by and briefly check on Mark who reports everything is going well. I return to the kitchen to begin discussing the salad and soup courses with the kitchen staff. Each guests receive the same salad and soup then they have a choice of 3 entrees for their main course. I assist the kitchen staff in setting up the trays with the salads just as the servers come into the kitchen. I assign one specific server to the head table to serve the hosts for this evening.

I step over to the bar for a few minutes so I can watch the salads be served to all the tables. Mr. and Mrs. Grey are seated at the table near the front with several others including the blond bitch I saw earlier this evening. Also at the table are two younger men and younger female however from this angel I can only see the younger female. My breath catches for a moment when I see the one gentleman at the table has the same hair color as the stranger I ran into several weeks ago. I convince myself it can't be him and return to the kitchen.

Dinner continues without an issue all guests at each table are served at the same time. The kitchen staff planned well and has more than enough food prepared in advance so thankfully we do not run out of food. I laugh remembering one of the first private events Antonio hosted here in which we ran out of steaks during mid service; Antonio vowed that it would never happen again and he has lived up to his word. Half way through dinner I return to the dinning room and check on Mr. and Mrs. Grey who are now seated at a half empty table.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey how is everything this evening?" I ask.

"Absolutely perfect. You are doing an wonderful job Ana" Mrs. Grey responds.

"Agreed. Everyone hasn't stopped talking about how good the food is!" Mr. Grey says smiling.

"Thank you both for allowing us to share this holiday celebration with you. If you need anything for the remainder of the evening please do not hesitate to find me" I say as I leave to walk around the dining room checking on everything.

Although I am checking all the tables, I am secretly looking for the gentleman with the cooper hair I saw earlier sitting on the head table. I scan the entire dining room before disappointingly returning to the kitchen to oversee desert being served. It's probably not the same guy, but I can't help but want to get a second look at him to see if it was. There's still some time left in the evening which means I have a couple hours left to see if I can find him. I have no idea what I would say or do if it was him and I saw him here. I've thought about him ever since we bumped into each other but even I can tell just from that one meeting that he is way out of my league. Not that I even have a league, I think laughing to myself. I haven't dated much and never really had a boyfriend. How do you explain to guy that you are homeless or living in a boarding house? No one wants to date a girl with the amount of baggage I have. How do you explain the childhood I had after my dad died?

I take a break and go to the bathroom before my thoughts get the best of me. Sitting on the toilet I take a few deep breaths and begin to relax. Lately the memories have been creeping back into my head and I need to find a way to bury them. I've had a couple nightmares at the shelters already and now I'm barely sleeping because I feel so unsafe there. At least at the boarding house I could lock myself in my room but that is not an option when you are staying at a shelter. I sigh, take a deep breath before washing my hands and returning to the dining room.

"Watch where you are going!" Someone says as I open the bathroom door.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware anyone was behind the door" I quietly state before looking up to see who I almost hit with a door. Of course the person standing before me is the blond bitch who is attending the private event tonight. It couldn't have been anyone else.

"Well next time watch what you are doing" she says before nearly pushing me aside to go into the ladies room.

I return the dining room and check on the kitchen staff who now have desert ready to be served. I instruct everyone to serve the last course of the meal and ask David to take more ice to Mark at the bar as I'm sure he is running low. As the servers make their way to the tables with desert, I take another stroll through the dining room. I pick up a few stray items from the floor, stop and chat at a few tables and debate checking on Mr. and Mrs. Grey another time. Antonio warned me to not interrupt too often so I elect to take a back seat and just make occasional eye contact with Mrs. Grey.

Just as I'm about to return to the kitchen I take one last look around the dining room and I see him! He is walking out the door with Ms. Blond Bitch; I refuse to call her anything else since this seems more fitting then Elaina does. For a brief moment he looks up but I can't tell if he is looking at me or just in my general direction. Just as quickly he turns and walks out the door taking Ms. Blond Bitch with him. I feel my heart sink as I return to the kitchen. I don't know what I expected to happen since neither of us made a move to approach one another but I can't help but feel sad and disappointed that he just walked out.

As the evening comes to close just after midnight, I stop by to do a final check in with Mr. and Mrs. Grace who are saying good bye to some of their guests.

"How was your holiday celebration Mrs. Grey?" I ask as Mr. Grey appears to be in a deep conversation with another guest.

"It was wonderful, thank you for being a part of it Ana!" Mrs. Grey gushes and then hands me a card "Happy holidays!"

I thank her before returning to the kitchen. I put the card in my book bag and don't give it a second thought as I help the wait staff clean up the dining room. As I predicted, my feet are killing me and I know they will be worse by morning. Overall though the evening went very well and I surprised myself pulling the event off without a hitch. Antonio stops by and congratulates me on a job well done for the evening. He tells me to get some rest and that he will see me in the morning.

I glance at my watch and realize it's just after 1am which means all the shelters will be full for the night already. Most close their doors by 10pm as they don't want people wandering in drunk or high. Oh well, I gather my belongings and head to the bus stop. I can ride the bus for a few hours and after that I will stay the bus stop for awhile before the college offices open. Once they open I will head over to the commuter lounge which has soft chairs and small couches that I can probably take a nap in.

_Author's note: Don't worry…Ana and Christian will meet! Next up is Christian's point of view of the holiday dinner and what he thinks about seeing Ana again. _


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's note: I am absolutely shocked and honored by the feedback this story has gotten so far! Thank you for your continued support, favorites and feedback!_

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy. _

* * *

**Chpt. 6: Christian's POV**

I can't believe I let my mother convince me to attend this dinner party tonight; as if I have nothing better to do. I love my mother to pieces and will forever be in debt to her for saving me when I was young but I dread attending these events. At least this one is only about a hundred people; her larger parties aggravate me too much to even attend them anymore. They are always filled with people who either want to get me involved in their business or with woman who swoon over me all night because they know how much money I have. My mother wants to see me settle down with a woman and be happy, and I want the same thing however I know it's not realistic. I am constantly in the public eye which means most people are aware of my business and the obscene amount of money I have. How could I ever trust someone and know that they are not only with me because of money? My mother understands this but she is a romantic at heart and is convinced that someone will come along who will not be interested in my money and will see me for who I truly am. That in itself scares the shit out of me. Who would want to be with me once they really know who I am? Even my family doesn't know my deepest darkest secrets.

"Taylor! Let's go" I call ask I walk out of bedroom.

"Yes sir, I will have the car waiting" Taylor responds disappearing to the garage.

As we drive to some Italian restaurant my mom chose for tonight's dinner, I allow my mind to drift and I find myself replying the day I bumped into the beautiful girl on the sidewalk. I have found myself thinking about her many times over the last several weeks and still kick myself for not getting her name. I tried to have Welsh, my head of security at Grey House, find out who she is but there were no traffic cameras or business cameras nearby that he could access. The way she looked at me that day still haunts me; it was as if she could look right into my soul. I am still stunned that she touched my chest and I didn't freeze or lash out at her. Dr. Flynn, my psychiatrist and I discussed it that afternoon when I called him for an emergency session:

_Flynn: Hello Christian. What brings you here today? We were not scheduled to meet until next week?_

_Christian: I sort of met someone. She bumped into me on the sidewalk and she put her hand on my chest._

_Flynn: That must have been very startling for you as you go to great lengths to insure people cannot touch your chest and back. How did you react to her touch? Did you push her away?_

_Christian: That's just it. For several minutes, I didn't even notice she was touching my chest! _

_Flynn: You didn't notice?_

_Christian: No! What the fuck does that mean? Am I losing my mind? I actually sort of held her close to me to make sure she was okay because she almost fell. She glanced up and it was as if she was looking deep inside me. I looked down and saw her hand laying flat on my chest! How did I not notice? What if she tried to hurt me? How could I be so stupid?!_

_Flynn: Take a couple deep breaths Christian. It sounds as if your guard was temporarily down because you were concerned about this young girl therefore your mind was elsewhere._

_Christian: And because of that she could have hurt me! Or worse, I could have hurt her!_

_Flynn: Do you think she would have hurt you? Before you answer, close your eyes and think back to that exact moment._

_Christian: (taking a couple minute to picture the beautiful girl in his mind) No. She wouldn't hurt me. There was something I could see in her eyes that told me she wouldn't hurt me I think. But what if I hurt her? She touched me! I could have fucking hurt her! I have punched people who have done the same thing she did. She put herself in danger by touching me! _

_Flynn: Why do you think you didn't punch her?_

_Christian: I don't fucking know! Isn't it your job to tell me? I told you, she was falling so I put my arm around her to insure she didn't fall on the hard sidewalk and hurt herself. What else was I supposed to do?_

_Flynn: It sounds like you were more concerned about her safety than your own issues which is perhaps the reason you let your guard down in the first place._

_Christian: How could I be that concerned about a stranger? I think I'm fucking losing my mind. If this is going to continue to happen with random people on the street how will I insure I don't hurt someone?_

_Flynn: I would like you to think about what it was that made this woman different than the other people who have accidently touched your chest._

_End flashback _

"Sir, we have arrived" Taylor says breaking me from my daydream.

Taylor and I enter the private banquet rooms and immediately find my mother. She initially lectures me for missing the cocktail hour but easily forgives me when I promise to stay through dinner tonight. She knows me too well; I typically stay for an hour and then come up with an excuse to leave. I chat with a few people throughout the evening mostly about business which gets old very quickly. People want to find out what acquisitions I am working on or what my plans are with the business. I started my business by myself after dropping out of Harvard and since then have grown it into a billion dollar industry. I pride myself that I do not have a board that I need to report to and the only person I answer to is myself. This has allowed me to make various investments or acquire companies that cross different business lines. I have invested a portion of our profits into charities aimed at feeding the homeless or developing infrastructure for third world countries. Too many people suffer in the world and I have too much money thus I invest in opportunities to help others. My mother taught us from a very young age that giving back to the community is key. She hosts many fundraisers or dinner parties, like the one tonight, to convince influential members of the community to donate to various charities. Tonight's dinner is a thank you dinner to some of the top donors to a charity that she sits on the board of which helps children with abusive childhoods.

I end up in a conversation with Elaina as I'm trying to leave.

"Christian, I have the perfect woman for you" she says.

"Elaina, I'm not interested. Can we please not have this discussion here?" I firmly state.

"Darling, you have been ignoring my calls and you seem very tense" she responds grasping my upper arm. "Please allow me to introduce you to Candy, she's perfect for you. She has is exactly what you look for in a—"

"Enough!" I again state firmly. "We will not have this conversation here!"

I glance up looking for Taylor to see if he has left to get the car yet when suddenly someone catches my eye. I swear she looks exactly like the beautiful woman I bumped into while walking to get lunch weeks ago. She has been haunting me ever since and I swear the waitress on the other side of the room is her. _What would she be doing here? She obviously works here…._

"Christian, I'm telling you she is perfect. She hardly has any limits…" Elaina starts yet again.

"Elaina I will not tell you again. I am not looking and we are not continuing this conversation. Good bye." I turn and walk out the door.

Taylor pulls up and I get in the car leaving a stunned Elaina standing in the doorway of the restaurant. I can't believe she tried to have a conversation about this at dinner! What if someone overheard her? I make a mental note to have a long discussion with her in private about this. She completely disregarded what I was saying and refused to end the discussion. I think back to the beautiful woman standing by the kitchen door and can't help but want to know more about her. She was wearing a black skirt that fell just above her knees and a white button down shirt; she looked beautiful even in a waitress uniform. I immediately recall her deep blue eyes from our first encounter and can't help but wonder if we were closer today would I feel as if they were looking through me again? Her full pouty lips have haunted my thoughts ever since our first meeting and after today I know that I just have to taste them. _What would it feel like to kiss her? _ I've never thought about a woman like this; my initial thoughts always focus on how I can fuck them. Yet here I am thinking about kissing this woman…

"Taylor…there was a brunette waitress working tonight at our event. I want to know everything about her by morning. Have Welsh run a background check" I direct.

"Yes sir. Do you have her name?" Taylor asks.

"No. If I did I would have told you her name. She was working tonight and I saw her as I was leaving. Beautiful young woman with long brunette hair that was pulled back; she was wearing a black skirt. I couldn't read her name tag from where I was standing" I say.

"Yes sir. I will look into it and have Welsh complete a background check" Taylor responds.

We return back to my penthouse at Escala and I find myself sitting on the balcony with a glass of white wine. I cannot stop thinking about this woman; I should have pushed Elaina away and spoken to this woman. I wonder if she is the same woman from the sidewalk? She has to be; the resemblance was there. She looked tired and a little thinner today but I only saw her from a distance so I can't be sure.

"Grey" I answer the ringing phone as I sit eating breakfast that Gail prepared.

"Mr. Grey, it's Welsh. I have the background check you requested" Welsh responds.

"Send it to me" I direct. "Is it complete?"

"I'm digging around her for current address; the address on file is a post office box. I will send you her physical address once I obtain it" Welsh explains before hanging up.

**Background check:**

Name: Anastasia Rose Steele

Social Security: 458-45-1234

Date of Birth: 07/23/1992

Address: PO Box 393 Seattle, Washington

Mother: Carla Steele (Maiden name Thompson)

Married to Raymond Steele (deceased)

Married to Bob Smith (divorced 11/2003)

Married to Scott Jones (divorced 3/2005)

Married to Michael Sanford (divorced 4/06)

Married to Stephen Crawford (divorced 8/2010)

Father: Raymond Steele (deceased 06/01/2000)

Siblings: None

Bank Account: First National Bank combined balance of $1349.58

Education: Current student at Washington State University majoring in English Literature

GPA: 3.9

Student Loan Balance: $0.00 (Education funded via scholarship and self pay)

Occupation: Waitress at Campenilla's Italian Restaurant in Seattle

Previous address: 675 Second street Seattle, WA

Current address: None on file.

I sit back after reviewing the background check on one Ms. Anastasia Steele; after seeing the driver's license picture that Welsh included in the background check I am certain this is the beautiful woman I bumped into on the side walk. Her mother seems to have serious commitment issues having been divorced four times following the death of her first husband. I find myself wondering about the effect of all this on Ms. Steele. Were any of these husbands abusive to her? I cringe at the thought. My childhood was rough before I was adopted by Grace and Carrick, but I was lucky because my abuse ended when I was adopted. Looking at Anastasia's background check I can't help but wonder what she went through in her childhood after her father died. I am concerned that Welsh can't find a current address on file other than a post office box.

"Taylor!" I call.

"Yes sir?" Taylor quickly responds, as always he is nearby.

"What do you know about the area around 675 Second Street in Seattle? I've never heard of this street" I ask.

"Well…sir…" he mumbles. "Permission to speak freely sir?" I nod. "It is an area that struggles economically; many abandoned homes and businesses, illegal drug use is rampant throughout the area, it is a high crime area, so on. It is not an area I would recommend traveling in or through which is why you are not familiar with it."

"Thank you Taylor" I say dismissing him.

Taylor has been my head of security for the last 5 or 6 years now. Once my business picked up and I started getting recognized I decided to hire security. I went through a few different people before finding Taylor and trust him with my life. I am concerned with Taylor's description of the area that Ms. Steele previously resided in. Since I saw her walking close to my office which is quite a distance from this second street area I can only hope that she has since relocated to a safer place that is much closer to campus. I fire an email off to Welsh asking if he has found any additional information on a current physical address as well as point out that her cell phone number is missing. Welsh quickly responds that he is still looking into the address issue however there is no registered cell phone number associated with Ms. Steele's name. _Odd, who doesn't have a cell phone today?_

Now that I have her name and know a little more about her, I hope that my obsession with her with decrease. However as the day progresses I find myself continuing to think about her and worry about her living situation. Even after going to the office and the gym, I find myself still thinking about Ms. Steele. I try to think of ways to contact her and decide it's time to pay a visit to the Washington State University. Perhaps I will run into her on campus somewhere, I think to myself before firing off an email to my PR staff requesting them set up a meeting with the University's Agricultural center as they had recently submitted a grant request.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Many thanks to the guest who pointed out that Washington State University does not have a campus in Seattle but the University of Washington does have a campus there. Therefore, going forward I have changed the name of the school Ana attends to reflect a campus that is actually located in Seattle. I have never been to Seattle and honestly know very little of the city so I am making up some information as I write. Again, thank you all for the feedback!

I know the last chapter was short so I decided to publish another chapter today. Happy reading!

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_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy_

**Chpt. 7: Ana's POV:  
**After a rough night of no sleep riding buses and sitting in the bus station, I find myself back at the college letting the shower cascade over my body. It's a Sunday morning so the campus is extra quiet today; most students are nursing a hangover at this hour of the morning. I spend a little extra time in the shower this morning letting the water hit my back which is pretty sore from dozing off in crappy positions on the bus. After my shower, I quickly dress throwing on comfortable sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt before heading to the student union for breakfast. After the night I had I just want to be comfortable and eat a real meal as I realize I never did get a chance to eat dinner last night during the private event at the restaurant.

After ordering eggs and bacon at the student union, I find a quiet table overlooking the quad. I pull out my books to start reading the next chapters before the school week starts. As I pull out my books, I see a card drop out of my bag. I had completely forgotten that Mrs. Grey gave me a holiday card last night; she was so sweet to think of the wait staff at the restaurant while hosting her own events. I open the card and gasp. In the card is $500 in cash with a note which read: _Anastasia, thank you making our holiday celebration a successful and memorable event. Enjoy the holidays, The Greys._ Never in a million years would I have expected this to be anything other than a holiday card. I'm ecstatic because with this on top of the tip money that Antonio gave me last night I have enough money to start looking for a room to rent! I thought money would be tight but this extra $500 gives me more wiggle room and allows me to possibly even purchase a small microwave to replace the one I had to leave behind.

I go back to the register and grab a copy of the local paper so I can begin looking for rooms to rent. Just as I'm about to open the classified section of the paper I see Kate walking into the student union. I quickly put the paper away; I don't want to explain that I'm looking for a room to rent because then Kate will suggest I live with and there is no way I can afford it.

"Kate!" I call out.

"What are you doing here?" Kate asks, putting her breakfast down on my table.

"Just trying to get ahead on school work before winter break; the apartment was too loud to study" I say making excuses. "What about you? This is early for you on a Sunday."

"Ugh I know! My computer stopped working this morning and I have a big article due to the paper tomorrow. So I'm stuck using the computer lab but I needed breakfast first" Kate explains.

"How was your private event last night at the restaurant?" Kate asks.

"Oh Kate, it was wonderful. The hosts gave me a holiday card with two hundred dollars in cash in it! That's on top of the tip they left with Antonio for me! Can you believe it?" I say excitedly. I am still in shock that the Grey's gave me that much money.

"That's wonderful! It's because you are so good at what you do and taking care of others Ana!" Kate exclaims.

"Oh and to top it all off I think I saw him" I say.

"Who? Him who?" She asks.

"My mystery stranger from a few weeks ago. Remember the guy I bumped into on the sidewalk walking to the restaurant awhile back?" I ask

"Oh him, of course I remember. The first guy you have shown interest in! So, what's his name? What did you say? Are you going to see him again?" Kate fires off her questions in true journalism style.

"Calm down Kate. I didn't even speak to him" I explain and tell her about our brief encounter.

"Oh, I bet you will see him again. Fate has brought you together twice now; I bet next time you find out who he really is!" Kate exclaims happily.

"We will see" I respond trying not to be hopeful.

The next week slowly passes by; the school semester is quickly coming to an end as we wrap up finals and submit our final papers of the semester. I have contacted a couple rooms that I found in the classified section of the paper but none of worked out so far. I'm trying to get a little closer to campus but I'm quickly realizing the closer I go the more expensive the room is. Honestly the one room I called about was $950 a month and it was only for the room! Unfortunately I was stuck looking further out again and have appointments to look at a couple places over the next two weeks. I really want to have my own room by New Years. I feel what better way to start of the new year then having my own personal space again?

"Ana!" Kate calls as I walk out of my last class for the semester.

"Kate! Can you believe it? Another semester is over!" I exclaim hugging Kate.

"One more semester and then we graduate! What do you say after your lease is up you move in with me?" Kate asks.

"Sure we will see" I respond. If I have a full time job by that time I will consider moving in with Kate. We get along very well and with a full time job I will be able to contribute to the rent, bills and food for the apartment.

"I'm so excited! We are still going out tomorrow right?" Kate asks looking at me out of the corner of her eye. I can tell she is waiting for me to back out again at the last minute.

"Of course we are Kate! Can I come over and raid your closet before we go?" I ask. Kate has the best clothes and loves to play dress up with me before we go out to a club. If it was up to me I would probably go in comfortable jeans and an old T-shirt.

"Yes! I have the perfect outfit for you already picked out from the last time we were supposed to go out and you ended up bailing on me! Come over early and we can try on clothes and I will do your hair" Kate says.

"Sounds good. I have to run I need to speak with one of my professors before he leaves for the day about my spring schedule. See you tomorrow Kate!" I say before walking towards the other end of campus to meet with my professor.

I find myself day dreaming on the way to student commuter lounge to pick up everything I will need for the next few days. The commuter lounge has limited hours during winter break so before I leave I jot down the hours; luckily it's only a few weeks and by then the plan is to have my own room somewhere. I make mental notes of things I want to do during the day during winter break as even the computer lab and library have limited hours. The shelters kick you out first thing in the morning and then they close their doors until 7pm when you are allowed back in if they have beds available. That leaves pretty much the entire day that I have to find things to do before I can return to the shelter. I decide to look up a community library to visit during the break; I'm positive I could spend a few hours each day getting lost in a book. I used to have dozens of books when I was a child; my dad would bring me one home almost every week. We started reading books together at night before bed and my love for reading developed from there. Unfortunately between all the moving around I did with my mother after dad died I lost the majority of the books he had bought me. What I didn't lose during moves I had to leave when I ran away from home when I was 16. When I left I only took a small book bag filled with some clothes and my school supplies; I couldn't carry anything else.

I finally reach the office building and find my professor's office, but the office is locked and it seems like he has already left for the break. I start walking back to the student union when for an unknown reason I turn to look back at the building I just left. I swear I see the gorgeous stranger with cooper hair walking into the building I just left. _What would he be doing on campus?_ I don't know much about him but after my two encounters with him I'm pretty confident he is not a college student. _I must be losing my mind; too much studying and not enough sleep is obviously catching up with me._

I'm off of work the next few days however next week Antonio has me scheduled for several shifts as I told him I was available for additional work during the holidays. I grab dinner at the student union then head to the library to check out their hours on break. As I feared, the library is only open on weekends during the break which means I definitely need to find a community library to visit during the week. I had back to the shelter which thankfully still has a few beds available and settle in for the night.

_"You Bitch!" He screams at me, slapping me across the face. "You stole my fucking money again! I work hard for that money and you come into my bedroom and steal it?"_

_"No, I swear I didn't take it!" I scream back at him which I immediately regretted as his hand slaps my cheek again. I try to run towards my room but he grabs my pony tail and pulls me back against his chest. _

_"Don't fight me, you bitch! It will only make it worse" He hisses into my ear. I look around trying to find my mom but as which is usually the case she is passed out in her room._

_He pushes me down face first on the couch and pulls my skirt up above my waist. I hear him taking off his belt and I brace myself. _

_"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I scream as the belt bites into my flesh the first time._

_"Shut up! Maybe next time you will remember this and think twice before stealing my fucking money you bitch!" Slap "You ungrateful piece of shit!" Slap "You need to be taught a lesson" Slap "You do not get everything you want" Slap "You father spoiled you rotten and now I'm stuck dealing with your lousy ass" Slap._

_I lose count of the number of times he has hit me with the belt. I feel it across my butt, lower back and even my upper thighs; I'm pretty sure he broke skin in a few spots again. The room starts going black just as he stops hitting me and storms out of the room. I quickly get up and run to my room before he can come back to beat me again. Quickly locking my door, I run to the corner of the room and hide. I don't know if he is done or if he is getting something else to beat me with like he has done before. An hour passes and I realize he likely isn't coming back. I get up, take off my clothes and look at the damage he did in the mirror. As I thought, I see blood in several spots along my back and thighs. All because he couldn't remember that he blew his money at the casino last night before coming home drunk off his ass. He always blames me; one of these days I'm going to leave. I keep hoping that someone will come and rescue me from this horrible situation but no one ever comes._

_"Anastasia open this door" I hear my mom yell._

_"Now!" She yells again after I don't answer quick enough for her. "Why did you have to take his money? You know how he gets! Can't you just be good and leave him the fuck alone?" _

"Misss….excuse me Miss?" I hear and feel someone shaking my arm. I quickly sit up and look around. A young child is standing next to me and I realize I had a nightmare.

"It's okay, I'm fine. Go back to sleep" I say trying to give her a reassuring smile.

"Did you have a bad dream?" She asks.

"Yes I did" I answer; it's not like I can lie about what she just saw. "But it's over now and I'm fine. Thank you for waking me; I'm sorry I woke you up."

"That's okay, I'm glad I ended your bad dream" she says before climbing back onto the cot next to her mother.

I look at the clock on my phone and see that it's only three in the morning, looking around everyone else is sound asleep. Either I wasn't very loud while having my nightmare or most people tuned it out. Unfortunately it's not unusual to hear people in the shelter having nightmares or yelling at themselves even when they are awake. I lay back down and try to go back to sleep but quickly realize it's pointless. I am too worked up from my nightmare to go back to sleep. I gather my belongings up as quietly as I can head towards the manager's office. I inform the staff person that I am leaving and she reminds me that I cannot return until 7pm tonight. I open the door and the cold brisk early morning air hits me like a ton of bricks. It's exactly what I need to feel after the nightmare which left my adrenaline racing. I look up and down the street only to find it empty. I sigh realizing not even the buses are running yet so I begin walking towards campus which should take me a couple hours to get to by foot. The gym and pool at the college are open daily during winter break as usually some of the athletes still need to use the facilities which works to my advantage because it gives me a place to shower. After walking for a couple hours I finally reach the campus and take a long cool shower. I walk around campus for a while but quickly realize everything is closed even the student union which means I have to go somewhere off campus for breakfast.

I leave campus and head to a coffee shop that's not far from the restaurant that has the best freshly made croissants. I pass several coffee shops on my walk but none of them are known for their home made baked goods like this one is. The others are more known for their fast service and decent coffee often favored by the college students. I don't drink coffee though so those places don't appeal to me as much as this one does. I open the door to and start to go in, taking a deep breath to smell the croissants that smell as if they just came out of the oven. I walk right into someone which was easy to do since my eyes were closed having been lost in the delicious smell when I walked in.

"I am so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going" I say realizing I spilled the strangers drink all over the floor and both of our shoes.

"It's okay, I'll grab another one" he says kindly.

"It's you!" I say having glanced up and found my gorgeous stranger looking down at me.

"We have to stop meeting like this" he says laughing.

"Please let me buy you another coffee, it's the least I could do seeing as I probably ruined your shoes" I say.

"Ah, it's fine. I didn't like these shoes anyway" he says as we wait in line to place an order.

He orders a coffee while I order a hot cup of tea and a croissant. I suggest he try a crouisant but he declines saying he ate breakfast not long ago and just needed another cup of coffee. I purchase the breakfast and walk over to a nearby table to have breakfast.

"Would you like to join me?" I bravely ask. I'm normally so shy around men; I can't believe that I just asked him to sit with me without even thinking.

"I would love to but I have a conference call that I am late for" he says looking apologetic. "I'm the only one in the office today and didn't want to make a pot of coffee just for me."

"Of course, I'm sorry" I say.

"For what?" he asks.

"I'm probably the reason you are late for your call this morning" I say glancing at his shoes to make a point.

"It's a boring call anyway. Thank you for the coffee, enjoy your breakfast" he says laughing as he turns towards the door.

"Wait" I call, standing up to meet him halfway. "My name is Ana."

"Christian" he says extending his hand. "It's nice to officially meet you."

"Likewise" I say continuing to just stand there looking at him.

"Here's my card, my cell phone number is on the back" He says handing me a business card. "Call me and I'll buy you tea next time."

"Give me another card" I say. He looks at me confused but hands me a second business card. I take his pen and jot down my cell phone number on the back and return both to him. "My cell phone number" I say smiling.

I return to my table with a smile permanently on my face. I laugh to myself thinking that I run into this man at the strangest places and times. I eat my croissant and drink my tea while watching people enter and exit the coffee shop. It's pretty busy for a Sunday morning, I assume it's because of how well known this place is. It's pretty pricey which is why I only bought a crossaint for breakfast but it is well worth the cost. I realize I don't have much to do right now since the semester has ended; it's too early to go to Kate's who is probably still sound asleep. I don't know how I would explain why I was at her door at 7am on a Sunday morning anyway. I grab a newspaper and call a few places that have rooms to rent, surprisingly a couple are available to view today. My first appointment is an hour so I leave the coffee shop and head to the bus stop.

The first room I look at is a dump; really the building should have been condemned. There were holes in the walls everywhere and the place smelled of urine. I maybe homeless but I would take staying in shelters over sleeping in a place like this. The second room was better but was on the ground floor of a very busy street. Anyone would be able to look into my room from the sidewalk and there were no bars on the window. I asked the owner if he would put bars up and he laughed at me. The third place was much better even though the room was smaller. The room was located on the second floor of the house and the owner had strict no smoking policy which I appreciated. The rent was slightly higher than the last room I rented but was a few blocks closer to campus which would eliminate one bus transfer. I signed the paperwork for a month to month lease and provide the owner with a security deposit. She agreed to contact me in a couple days as soon as the check cleared her bank at which point I would be allowed to move in.

_Could this day get any better?_ I think as I board the bus to head to Kate's apartment. First I run into my stranger who's name I now know is Christian then I find a place to rent! I'm still on cloud nine as I get off the bus and walk the couple blocks to Kate's. I decide to stop at a little café and crab a couple breakfast sandwiches for me and Kate. Although I already had the croissant for breakfast I'm sure Kate hasn't eaten yet and really I ate hours ago since I was awake so early.

"Good Morning Kate!" I exclaim happily as she opens the door still in her pajamas.

"Morning" she says yawning.

"Here I bought breakfast and coffee" I say handing her a cup and a sandwich.

"Coffee…you're the best Ana!" she answers.

"Late night?" I ask.

"You have no idea Ana!" she responds. "I went out to a club and ended up drinking a lot more than I should have. But I met a guy!"

"Oh yeah?" I ask. Kate always meets a guy; wonder what this one's deal is.

"Yes! And I know what you're thinking, but this guy is different! Elliot is such a gentleman! He drove me home last night, walked me to the door and kissed me goodbye. He didn't even try to get invited inside – not that I would have denied him" she says giggling.

"Wow, he is quite different from the usual guys you meet. Are you seeing him again?" I ask.

"He's coming to the club with us tonight" she answers. "Please say you don't mind Ana! I swear you won't feel like a third wheel. He is bringing his bother along as well."

"Why do I get the feeling you're trying to set me up Kate?" I ask giving her a suspicious look.

"Of course not!" she exclaims smiling before eating her breakfast.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Thank you again for all your wonderful feedback! I never expected to receive so much feedback, favorites and follows in such a short period of time!

Finally...this chapter brings the actual meeting between Christian and Ana; they spend more than a few minutes together :-)

As always: All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy.

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**Chpt. 8: Ana's POV**

Kate and I spend the afternoon shopping as she has decided she needs a new outfit to go out to the club tonight to impress Elliot with. We both agreed I don't need to buy a new outfit as she still wants me to wear the one she previously picked out for me. This works for me because I really don't have the extra cash to buy a new outfit and go out to the club tonight. Shopping with Kate is an all-day adventure I quickly realize as she drags me to store after store. She finally decides on a tight silver dress that barely covers her butt and shows off her cleavage perfectly. She grabs a few accessories and shoes before finally calling it quits for today. We had back to the apartment where we order in Chinese food and pop a movie in to watch while we are eating. Kate quickly falls asleep on the couch after eating, and despite trying I find myself unable to take a nap as well despite the fact that I've been up since the nightmare woke up me at 3am. Unfortunately I've learned to survive on very little sleep as it's rare for me to be able to go back to sleep after a nightmare.

I busy myself unpacking my overnight bag in Kate's room so I can find everything when we get home tonight. I go to the kitchen and start cleaning up the dishes from our dinner and take out the trash which is now filled with take out containers and disposable coffee cups. By time I return Kate has not moved but I know if she does not wake up soon she wont have enough time to get ready for tonight.

"Kate' I gently say shaking her arm.

"Hmmmm?" She barely responds.

"Time to wake up" I say.

"Hmmmmmmmmmm" she responds again.

"Kate! If you don't wake up right now you won't have enough time to look beautiful before you see Elliot tonight!" I exclaim loudly.

"I'm up!" She exclaims sitting up quickly. I giggle at her "I'm going to take a shower and then we will get your outfit for tonight."

I use the shower off the guest bedroom while she uses the bathroom that is attached to her bedroom. I spend extra time in the shower as Kate's water pressure is much better than the one at college and her hot water lasts a lot longer. I finish and throw on a robe that she always keeps in the bathroom for me before putting on my undergarments and going to find Kate.

"Are you decent?" I ask knocking on her door.

"Come in Ana" Kate responds. "Here I have the perfect outfit for you!" Kate exclaims handing me a purple dress on a hanger. It doesn't look as short as the one she picked out today which I'm grateful for. I don't feel comfortable in a dress if I have to worry about showing everyone my goods every time I bend over.

"Go get dressed and I will do your hair and make up" she orders.

"Yes ma'am" I respond pretending to salute her as I walk out the door.

I return to the guestroom and put the dress on. What I didn't notice in the bedroom is the back of the dress, or the lack there of. There is a small strip of fabric across the shoulder blades to hold the two pieces together but then it is open down to the waist line. I gulp nervously…I have a few scars right at and above my waist line that I'm very self-conscious about. I avoid any clothing that would let people see them because if someone sees them they will immediately want to know what happened. Kate knows some of my childhood but she doesn't know about the scars or the beatings. She knows I was hit but not the extent of which I was beat. She respects my boundaries and doesn't ask about my childhood; I think she can tell I don't like discussing my past. I sigh and put on the dress; there's nothing I can do about it now. The club will be dark so I realize once we arrive there no one will be able to see anything. Looking in the mirror I can see a few of the scars a few inches above where the fabric returns just in time to cover by ass. Turning around I can see the dress really does look amazing on me; Kate out did herself once again. I would never have picked out this outfit myself, but Kate has an exceptional taste and the ability to find an outfit that will look great on anyone.

"Are you dressed?" Kate asks before walking into the bedroom.

"If I wasn't it's a little late" I say laughing.

"You look beautiful Ana! Turn around and let me see the whole package" she exclaims happily.

I sigh and slowly turn around. When I hear her gasp I know she has seen the scars. Over the years they have faded but they are still pretty visible especially under bright lights. I really don't want to get into this conversation before we go out tonight. It's too heavy of a conversation to have…

"Have a seat and I will do your hair" Kate says quietly.

"Thank you" I say sitting down; thanking her for doing my hair but more importantly for not asking about the scars. Knowing Kate as well as I do, I am sure she is biting her tongue to keep from asking; the journalist in her is likely dying to know what happened.

An hour later my hair is dried, curled, sprayed and my makeup is done as well. The makeup is a little heavier than I would have liked but again Kate proves why I let her play dress up with me as I look in the mirror and am shocked at the person I see before me. Kate insists I borrow a pair of heels which complement the dress perfectly. Kate spends the next hour getting herself ready and then calls for a cab to take us to the club.

"Where are we going anyway?" I ask realizing Kate has only said we are going to a club tonight.

"A brand new club called Picturesque" she explains. "We were going to go to a different club but Elliot was going to here tonight and invited us to join. He says he knows the owner and can get us in without having to wait."

As we pull up to the club it's clear why Elliot told Kate he could get us in. The line to get in stretches down the block as far as you can see. There are two bouncers outside controlling the crowd and slowly letting people from the line into the club. Kate walks right up the bouncers, much to the dismay of the people waiting in line, and gives are names. As promised Elliot must have worked magic as our names are on the list and we are ushered inside. After checking our jackets we are taken by the hostess upstairs to a roped off section that has a VIP sign on it. We are seated at the table and told the rest of our party will be arriving shortly. From this table you can look down and see the entire club. The music can still be heard but is not so loud that you cannot have a conversation with those at your table. There is a balcony off to the side where some people from the VIP section are dancing. I immediately feel completely out of place; the people here are way out of my league. I start to get anxious when I feel Kate grab my hand and squeeze it.

"Can you believe this place? Isn't it amazing?" Kate asks.

"Uh…yeah it sure is" I stutter.

"I'm going to grab us a couple margaritas, sound good?" Kate asks standing up.

"Sure" I say as she walks away. I sit back in the chair and look around at everyone. I remind myself that the other only these people have that I don't is tons of money. My confidence is slowly returning as I continue to people watch while waiting for Kate.

Kate returns with the drinks and we sit chatting while we wait for Elliot to arrive. He texted her not long ago to say he was running late but would be there shortly. We talk about the upcoming semester and what our schedules look like. I'm not surprised to find we don't have any classes together seeing that we are in our final year of college and have different majors. We are on campus most days at similar times so we decide that every Thursday we are going to meet up for lunch at the student union since we both have a break around the same time on that day.

"Hello beautiful" a tall blonde man says as he approaches Kate.

"Hey you" Kate says, standing up to give him a hug and small kiss.

"Ana this is Elliot, Elliot this is Ana my best friend" Kate introduces.

We shake hands and Elliot signals the waitress and asks for a menu and a beer. "Sorry ladies, I'm starving. I've been working all day and didn't have a chance to grab a bite to eat when I ran home to wash up."

"What do you do Elliot?" I ask.

"I own a construction company specializing in commercial remodeling but we are branching out and starting to do some residential work as well" Elliot explains proudly.

"Oh there he is!" Elliot says, standing up to wave to someone.

"Ana?" I hear a familiar voice say.

"Christian? How nice to see you again" I say giggling.

"You two know each other?" Kate asks surprised.

"Sort of…Christian and I ran into each other a couple months ago when I was on my way to work" I explain.

"And then we ran into each other again this morning when Ana poured coffee on my feet!" Christian says laughing.

We both burst out laughing and explain to Kate and Elliot about our run in this morning. The waitress returns with Elliot's beer and a menu. Christian requests of a bottle of champagne for the table and orders an array of appetizers for us all to share. Elliot adds a burger to the order explaining to Christian that he didn't eat dinner before coming over while the rest of us agree that appetizers are enough. The waitress brings out the bottle of champagne that Christian ordered and pours everyone a glass.

"A toast" Christian says, raising his glass. "To new friends."

We all click glasses and drink the champagne. I've never had champagne before but this tastes very good. It's pink in color which surprises me because in movies champagne always looks clear or it has a yellow tint. I don't dare say anything because I would bet my entire bank account on the fact that I'm the only one at this table who has never had champagne before. The conversation flows nicely while we munch on the appetizers the waitress bought out.

"So Ana….what do you do?" Asks Christian.

"I'm a senior at the University of Washington majoring in English Literature; I will be graduating in the spring with a Bachelor's degree" I explain.

"And after graduation?" He asks.

"I'm not sure. I will be looking for an entry level position in the publishing field; I'm spending winter break researching a few publishing companies in Seattle" I respond.

"There are several good ones in the area" Christian explains. "There are a couple that are struggling financially and may not last more than a couple years though so be selective in where you apply. As the time gets closer I would be more than happy to review some of the publishing companies with you more in depth."

"I would appreciate that very much, thank you for the offer" I say graciously. Honestly, looking at a company's financial status wasn't something I had given much thought to but Christian has a valid point.

"How about you? What do you do Christian?" I ask.

"I am in mergers and acquisitions" Christian explains with a surprised look on his face.

"Oh? That tells me nothing Christian!" I say giggling.

"I guess it doesn't. I run my own company, Grey Enterprises, which focuses on purchasing companies that are struggling financially and assisting them in rebuilding or closing them completely. The goal is to provide enough financial support to allow the companies to restructure with proper guidance and assistance to become profitable again. After that, I either keep the company under our umbrella or I sell it off for another person to manage" he explains.

"Oh my God!" Kate exclaims. "You're the Christian Grey!"

"Yes" Christian says quietly "that's me."

"Kate? Calm down" I say seeing that Christian is clearly uncomfortable with her sudden attention.

"Ana this was the guy I was supposed to interview a month ago that I told you about. Why didn't you tell me it was the Christian Grey that you ran into this morning?" She asks.

"Ummmmm….because I'm still not sure what the big issue is. I told you I ran into Christian this morning and honestly I didn't know his last name until just now. I don't see the issue" I say confused.

"Ana-" Kate begins.

"Come on baby let's dance" Elliot says grabbing Kate's hand and leading her to the balcony dance floor.

"That was weird" I say looking at Christian.

"That's okay….I'm used to it" Christian responds. I must look confused because he continues to explain. "When we first bumped into each other that day when I was getting lunch I couldn't help but think you looked at me as if you had no idea who I was."

"It's true…because I'm still not sure who you are?" I ask completely confused.

"Let's just say I'm kind of a big thing in the business world. My company is well known both domestically and internationally for what we do. We also sponsor many grants to charities or universities" he explains shyly.

"That's wonderful! It's nice to hear of a company reinvesting their money rather than just padding their pockets!" I exclaim.

We continue discussing his business and work philosophy for a few minutes. I am quickly amazed at all that Christian has accomplished especially once he shares that he is only two years older than me. He clearly has a passion for his work as this is the most I've heard him talk all night and his face lights up even more when discussing his charity work and the grants that he sponsors. I'm surprised to learn that he has sponsored several grants for Washington State University which are focused on developing ways to clean water for third world countries as well as identifying agricultural improvements that can be made to existing systems that are in place in these same countries to increase production with minimal costs and resources needed.

"Would you like to dance?" Christian asks as we reach a comfortable silence.

"Sure" I say nervously.

We make our way to the dance floor where I remind myself several times that there is no way that Christian can see the scars on my back because it is so dark in here. My anxiety is through the roof right now and I'm cursing myself for letting Kate put me in this dress. I don't know how I will handle someone touching my scars and I'm frightened at how I will react if Christian accidently touches them. I would be much more comfortable if I had clothing covering the scars. I am thankful the DJ is not playing some type of slow music which would have Christian's hand placed right on my back. I take a deep breath and count to ten in my head trying to force myself to relax. _I can do this; I can do this_ I repeat to myself over and over.

Christian and I begin dancing as a new song is played and I have to admit he is an amazing dancer. I can feel the alcohol I drank getting to me a little and find myself dancing more seductively than I typically do. After a few songs, Christian comes up behind me and starts dancing and grinding with me. His hands are initially on my hips which I am thankful for because he does not make a move to touch my back. I reach my hands up and put them around his neck as we continue to dance and grind with one another. I can feel his breath on my ear and find myself getting turned on by this small action. He begins placing small kisses up and down my neck while his hands run up and down my ribs. I turn my head slightly which must be what he was looking for because his lips suddenly land on mine. The kiss starts off gentle and soft but quickly becomes more passionate as I feel his hands on my waist again this time turning me around so I am facing him. I quickly obey and turn around again putting my arms around his neck and reaching into his hair which feels as soft as I imagined it would the first time we met. I feel his tongue gently carress my lips and I open them just slightly giving him more access. We are exploring each other's mouths just as I feel his hands reach the center of my back.

"Excuse me…I need to use the restroom" I say rushing off the dance floor quickly glancing around to find the ladies room.

"Ana?" I hear Kate's voice after a few moments.

"I'll be right out Kate" I say while still panting. My head is between my knees and I am trying to get my breathing under control before I step out of the stall.

"Are you okay?" She asks gently.

"I'll be fine" I say opening the door and slowly coming out.

"I saw you rush to the bathroom and decided to check on you. Did Christian do something? Did he hurt you?" Kate asks clearly worried.

"No, nothing like that; he didn't do anything. It was all me" I answer.

"Did he touch…?" she asks clearly not knowing what to say but she obviously made the connection.

"Yes" I say sighing.

"You okay to go back to the table? Do you need a few more minutes?" She asks. I am once again thankful that Kate doesn't pry into this.

"I'm okay" I say drying my hands.

As we walk back to the table I begin to worry what Christian will think. Just as things were getting hot and heavy between us I leave him on the dance floor running to the bathroom. He wont be able to make the connection to the scars on my back as luckily it is so dark there is no way he can see them. Christian and Elliot are sitting back at the table engrossed in a conversation about sports as we return. Both stand acknowledging our arrival and Kate and I giggle at this simple gesture.

"The line for the bathroom was so long!" Kate exclaims making an excuse as to why we were gone for so long. I smile at Kate as a thank you for her lie.

"You woman always take way too long in the bathroom anyway! One of these days I'm going to sneak in there to see what all the fuss is about. What do you think Christian? They must have much fancier bathrooms then the men's room" Elliot jokes.

"Of course, Elliot. Why else would women go to the bathroom in pairs?" Christian jokes.

We all laugh and the conversation easily flows from topic to topic. We go through several margaritas and another bottle of champagne before the bar announces last call for the evening. I look at my phone in complete shock that it's approaching two in the morning. Typically I have left a club long before last call because I hate being around crowds like this. There is something about this bar and being with Christian that made me completely forgetting my hate for large crowds.

"I guess we should get going" Christian says as we finish our drinks. "We will walk you ladies out."

We head to the coat check room just as the club turns the lights on signaling everyone to leave. As we wait in line I feel Christian come up behind me, gently kissing my neck and whispers to me "I had a wonderful time tonight Ana."

"Me too Christian" I respond as he continues to kiss my neck. His hands are fixed strongly on my hips and he makes no effort to move them. We remain like this as we move up in line and finally get our jackets. Kate had loaned me a black dress jacket to complement my outfit tonight as the jacket I had was not dressy enough.

"Allow me" Christian said taking my jacket and holding it so I could put my arms in.

We step outside where Christian offers to have his driver drop us at Kate's place before driving them home. Kate and I both agree as the line for a cab is quite long since the bar just got out. Christian leads us to a black Audi SUV parked nearly in front of the club. His driver, a tall muscular guy with a military haircut opens the door for us.

"Sir" he says.

"Taylor please take us to Ms. Kavanaugh's apartment to drop the girls off" Christian answers.

"My address is 152 Sunset Drive" Kate says.

We all climb in the SUV which is a tight squeeze but none of us seem to mind. Christian and I are holding hands as Kate and Elliot begin making out in the seat next to us. I glance up at Christian to see that he has noticed Kate and Elliot as well and he just smiles at me. He lifts my chin up and while looking into my eyes he places the most gentle kiss on my lips. My hands immediately go to neck as I tug him just a little closer. I feel him smile against my lips just before I feel his tongue seeking permission; I open my lips slightly to deepen the kiss.

"Sir we have arrived" Christian's driver interrupts us as he gets out of the car and opens our door.

Christian and Elliot walk us to the front door of Kate's apartment building where we again kiss and say good bye.

"I meant what I said earlier, Ana, I had a wonderful time tonight" Christian says breaking our kiss.

"As did I Christian" I say honestly.

"Can I call you sometime?" Christian asks shyly.

"I would like that" I answer.

"Good night Ana. Dream of me tonight?" he asks smiling.

"I will" I answer as Kate grabs my hand pulling me into the apartment lobby.

* * *

Author's Note: I realize this chapter is quite long compared to my other chapters but I couldn't find a good spot to end the chapter and didn't want to drag out the interaction between Ana and Christian to another chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy._

**Chpt. 9: Christian's Point of View**

_"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" I yell trying to wake up Mommy. She is laying on the couch not moving and my cartoon show is over. Mommy said after cartoons I can have food. My belly is making funny sounds which I know means it wants food._

_"Hmmmmmmmmm?" Mommy says without opening her eyes._

_"Food…Mommy. Cartoon over" I say shaking her arm again._

_"Okay…go in the cabinet and see what is in there" She says keeping her eyes closed._

_I make my way into the kitchen, drag a chair to the counter so I can climb high enough to get to the cereal. The boxes are all empty but I find some O's on the bottom of the cabinet._

_"No more Mommy" I say but she doesn't wake up. _

_The door opens fast scaring me and he walks in. I grab my cereal and hold it tight in my hands. Last time I saw him he took my food from me. _

_"Get up Bitch" he says to Mommy but she doesn't move._

_"I said get UP Bitch!" He yells grabbing her by the hair pulling her off the couch._

_"Don't hurt Mommy!" I say to him as Mommy cries out._

_He drops Mommy on the floor and walks to me with a mean look in his eyes._

_"What did you say you lousy piece of shit?" He yells right in my face._

_I say nothing. I'm too scared to talk. He grabs my neck and pushes me against the wall. I'm scared and it hurts to breath. I look for Mommy; she is awake but not doing anything. Help me Mommy I try to say but the man's hand on my neck hurts too much. He takes the cigarette out of his mouth and puts it my chest. I try to scream but no sound comes out. He moves the cigarette around on me and the room goes black._

_End Flashback_

I wake up screaming and covered in sweat. I look at the clock and realize it's almost three in the morning which means I've slept for almost 4 hours tonight which is what I seem to average lately. I make my way to the bathroom and take a cold shower trying to slow my breathing down. It only partially works and I head down to my piano in the great room spending a couple hours playing which sooths my anxiety. Once my adrenaline returns to normal I check my email seeing that I have something from Seattle Independent Publishing wanting to schedule a conference call today. Realizing this must be important since it's a Saturday that they are requesting a call on, I fire an email back scheduling the call for first thing this morning.

I have breakfast and coffee before telling Taylor that I'm heading to the office. I give him the morning off since the office will be empty today but tell him I may need him later this afternoon after my appointment with Flynn as I'm not sure what my plans are for this evening. Arriving at the office, I unlock the doors and head to my office on the 16th floor. I take a few moments to stand in the lobby and look around truly appreciating how far the building has come since I purchased it a few years ago. When I first purchased the building it lacked any aesthetic features and looked like something you would see in a 1970's television show. This was the first project I had Elliot work with me on and I was so impressed by the work that he did that I gave him the money he needed to start his own construction company. He has an eye for design and knew what I wanted even before I did. Since then Elliot has been my right hand man for any acquisitions that Grey Enterprises takes over and intends maintaining.

After starting up my computer I start reading a few emails several of which are from Elaina. She just won't let it go; she doesn't understand that I don't want a contract with a woman right now! Elaina has set me up with nearly every sub I have had over the years in exchange I have paid her a sort of "finder's fee." Up until now, that has been enough. But lately I have realized it's not enough. In Elaina's latest emails she has included pictures of several different girls all displayed on various BDSM equipment with a list of their limits. I delete all the emails without responding and throw the vase of flowers on my bookcase against the wall in frustration. I wish she would just listen to me!

I decide I need to cool down before the call with SIP and head to the local coffee shop around the corner. As I get my order I am about to walk out the door when someone walks right into me spilling hot coffee all over my dress shoes and splashing onto my pants. I am about to lay into them when I look down to find Anastasia Steele staring back at me.

We laugh at the situation as she insists on buying me a replacement cup of coffee. We chat for a few minutes before I realize I am late for the call with SIP. I regret that I cannot push the call back but I've been doing this long enough to know that you need to strike while the iron is hot and right now the iron is red hot! We exchange phone numbers and finally names before I return to the office.

I rush back to the office quickly and call the owner of SIP; as I thought he was ready to sell. We negotiated the price and I increased the retirement package for the senior staff member who has practically been running the business since the owner fell ill. While I think he made some bad business decisions it was the right thing to do given the amount of time he was with SIP. We agreed to the terms of the sell which include allowing them to inform their employees before a public announcement is made. I send a quick email to Roz, my second in command for Grey Enterprise, about the acquisition and the plans for a public announcement by mid week.

I work for a few more hours before heading home for lunch, then a meeting with Dr. Flynn and a session with my trainer. The afternoon flies by and I'm able to get some more work done in between appointments.

"Grey" I answer my blackberry without looking to see who is calling.

"Christian! What's up?" Elliot responds. Ugh, I should have looked to see who was calling. He always wants something when he calls.

"How about we go out tonight? You've been bugging me to stop by your new club anyway" He says.

"Yes Elliot…I wanted you to stop during the day so we can talk about some remodeling I want done to the main area and some minor upgrades to the kitchen" I answer.

"Oh come….come out tonight and I promise to come by tomorrow afternoon to go over your needs" He negotiates.

"Okay….fine. Taylor and I will pick you up at 9" I say before hanging up.

I can't say no to Elliot and he knows it. I opened this club about six months ago after purchasing it before it went into bankruptcy. Night clubs are usually not my thing but the location of this nightclub made me think it had possibilities. The previous owners had tried to open it as an underage nightclub; it did pretty good business the first month but after that the crowd died down. The owners realized they weren't making money on just admission fees so they started serving food but charged too much for the kids to pay. Elliot actually brought this business to my attention as he had done work on the building before it opened. I had my doubts but after touring the building and speaking with Elliot I began to see the potential the nightclub had. Elliot did some initial work to upgrade the dance floor, seating area, bars and added a VIP section before we opened it as a high end nightclub. Since opening six months ago business has been booming; if you are not on the guest list and not the first fifty people in line you likely won't get in but that hasn't stopped people from lining up outside the club hours before it even opens.

"Hey Elliot" I say as he climbs into the Audi SUV.

"Bro! What's up?" Elliot says as Taylor begins to drive to the club.

We chat for a while about business and briefly discuss some further ideas I had for renovations on the club which we would go over more in depth tomorrow. The ride to the club is relatively quick as traffic is light especially for a Friday evening. Taylor pulls up to the curb in front of the club and gets out to open the door for us.

"Oh….before I forget. I'm meeting someone here tonight. Now before you say anything, she is bringing her friend along for you to chat with" Elliot states quickly approaching the bouncer and walking into the club.

I knew something was up with Elliot suddenly wanting me to go out tonight. I hate that he tries to set me up with girls and I have asked him several hundred times to stop doing it. Of course I want to find someone but the girls Elliot hangs out with are mostly focused on money and sex. My family, including Elliot, thinks I am celibate because I have never brought a girl home as compared to Elliot who has brought a different girl over for dinner even with the same week. They all probably think I am gay, I chuckle to myself. This could not be farther from the truth; I enjoy sex with woman very much and have enjoyed it from a very young age. I am just finding myself wanting more than just sex from woman which is a complete opposite of what I've wanted in the past as Flynn and I discussed earlier today.

_Flynn: Have you seen the mystery girl recently?_

_Christian: Actually I bumped into her again this morning (laughing)_

_Flynn: Literally bumped into her? I ask._

_Christian: Yes…she ran right into me at a coffee shop and spilled coffee all over my shoes and the bottom part of my suit pants._

_Flynn: (laughing) so what happened._

_Christian: I let her buy me a new coffee and we chatted for a few minutes._

_Flynn: Only a few minutes?_

_Christian: Yes (sighing) I ran out for coffee before my conference call with Seattle Independent Publishing was to start. (laughing) What should have been a quick five minute run for coffee turned into a fifteen minute discussion with a beautiful girl named Ana._

_Flynn: How did the conference call go?_

_Christian: Huh? Oh, it went good. They agreed to sell and we close on Monday. The announcement will be made Tuesday to all employees and publically on Wednesdays. _

_Flynn: Her name is Ana? _

_Christian: Yes…we talked for a few minutes and exchanged numbers._

_Flynn: You did? This is not your typical way of signing up for a new sub is it?_

_Christian: What?! No….I haven't thought about her as a sub. _

_Flynn: Are you going to pursue dating her then?_

_Christian: I don' t know (pause) Maybe._

_Flynn: But?_

_Christian: How will I know she is not just with me for my money?_

_Flynn: Has she given you any indication that she is?_

_Christian: No (sighing), she insisted on buying my coffee this morning. She doesn't seem like the type who is after money. She doesn't wear designer clothes or carry designer bags. She seems very down to earth. But is it possible she will still be that way once she learns how much money I have? _

_Flynn: You won't know unless you try Christian._

_Christian: Yeah I guess._

_Flynn: Christian I have to say I am very proud of you for starting to recognize that your previous lifestyle is no longer meeting your needs._

_Christian: I am still worried about the lack of control I will have in the bedroom but I've decided if I want more than just kinky sex I'm going to have to come to terms with not having complete control in the bedroom. _

_Flynn: What is your biggest fear about losing control in the bedroom?_

_Christian: They will touch my chest or my back and what my reaction will be. What if I hurt them? I would never forgive myself if I hit a woman if we weren't in a scene._

_Flynn: Do you remember your first meeting with Anastasia?_

_Christian: Of course (confused)_

_Flynn: You told me that she touched your chest and you didn't react?_

_Christian: Yeah…what's your point?_

_Flynn: My point is I think if you find the right woman she may be able to touch you without you having a fight or flight reaction._

_Christian: I seriously doubt it. Anastasia was just an in the moment situation. Besides my shirt was on; my reaction may have been completely different if my shirt was off._

_Flynn: Or it may not have been any different._

_End Flashback_

I stop and chat with a few of the employees including the manager on duty tonight. I had previously called and requested they reserve my usual table in the VIP section for us this evening. I make my way to the VIP section stopping to look out on the dance floor which is packed from wall to wall with people dancing. From the VIP section, the view is absolutely picturesque hence the name of the club. The view is not as good as from my penthouse but the VIP section is high enough that it allows beautiful views of Seattle which is one of the things that I think attracts people to club. The VIP section has reservations for every night that it is open over the next eight months according to the manager.

As I reach the table I am shocked to find Ana sitting there with Elliot and a blonde woman. I cannot believe my luck today! Running into her twice in one day is more than I could ever hope for. Ever since our run in this morning I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. We order drinks and an array of appetizers as the conversations begin to freely flow.

"So what do you do Christian?" she asks and I grimace.

I know there is no way that I can avoid telling her who I really am. Perhaps if my brother wasn't sitting right there I could lie to her but since he is here I'm forced to tell her the truth. I try downplaying my business and the success I have had until Elliot's date, Kate, realizes who I am. Of course it's my luck that this is also the person who is interviewing me in a couple weeks for the student paper at the University of Washington about the grants I provide some of the departments. I am left with no choice but to tell Ana the truth my company and the work we do. She seems impressed but doesn't start asking hundreds of questions about the business or make comments about the amount of money I must have which is what some people have done in the past. I am relieved that she seems as down to earth as I hoped she would be.

We make our way to the balcony dance floor and I am truly surprised at what a great dancer she is. As the music changes, so does her dancing. She becomes more seductive in her dancing which is turning me on big time. I slowly start to grind up against her with her back against my front and if she feels my growing erection she doesn't say anything. I slowly start kissing her neck; she smells amazing! It's like I can't get enough of her. Her hands fly up to the back of my neck as we start kissing and she is running her hands through my hair which is turning me on even more. I can't remember the last time I was this turned on from just kissing a woman! I put my hands on her hips and turn her so she is facing me. Her hands return to my neck and she pulls me closer to her to deepen the kiss. With one hand on her hip, my other hand moves to the center of the back to pull her closer. As soon as my hand reaches her lower back I feel an indented area of skin in the form of what feels like a straight line. Before I can say anything or think of what it might be she suddenly excuses herself and runs to the lady's room. I'm left standing on the dance floor confused when I see Kate look over and realize Ana is gone. I mouth "bathroom" to her and I see Kate take off just as fast as Ana did.

Elliot and I return to the table and talk about business, sport and our meeting tomorrow to discuss renovations while the girls are gone. I look at my watch a couple times noting that they have been gone awhile now. I can't help but worry what I did to cause her to run out on me so quickly. I don't think the kissing was moving too fast for her because right before she ran she was pulling me closer to her. That's when I remember the feeling of her skin on her back; it was as soon as I touched that area that she bolted.

I don't have much time to think about it before the girls finally return from the ladies' room commenting about the long line. Elliot of courses jokes about the fancy ladies' room as a way to lighten the mood as I'm sure he can feel some of the anxiety that is obviously radiating off of Ana. As we are leaving the club the lights come on brightly and I risk a look at Ana's back as I hold out the jacket for her. I cough suddenly to try to hide my shock. As I feared, the indentation on her back that I felt while dancing is a scar and there are several others in the same area. I decide against asking her about the scars or what happened on the dance floor as I know if that were me I wouldn't want to talk about it. In fact, that has been me on occasion I think sadly. Which just makes me wonder what the hell happened to Ana? Did someone hurt her? Who could hurt someone so beautiful?

I vow to have Welch dig deeper into her background for me. I have to know what happened to Ana!

_Monday Morning: Still Christian's POV:_

"Andrea!" I call through the intercom to my assistant.

"Yes Mr. Grey?" Andrea immediately responds.

"Get me Welsh" I direct.

"Of course Mr. Grey. One moment" she says. "Mr. Grey I have Mr. Welsh on line one for you" she says after a few moments.

"Welsh, I need information" I say picking up the phone.

"Yes Mr. Grey. What do you need?" Welsh asks.

"I want more information on Anastasia Steele. Where do we stand with her finding out her permanent address? I want a copy of her complete medical history. I want to the details on her education; how is her tuition being paid? What is her current balance with the University for the spring semester?" I fire questions away.

"Of course Mr. Grey. I will gather the information and email it to you shortly. I checked on her physical address this morning and there is still nothing current coming up anywhere but I will dig further" Welsh says before ending the call.

As much as I want to sit and wait for Welsh's report on Ana, I have back to back meetings and conference calls. I meet with Roz and discuss the events of Saturday morning involving SIP with her. We then meet with the public relations department to begin preparing a press release which will be issued first thing Wednesday morning. Shortly before lunch I meet with the owner of SIP and my legal team and the sell is complete. This is the first publishing company I own however I am excited about the potential it has and eager to see the new direction it takes under GEH leadership. I want to infuse technology into SIP which it is currently lacking. They have not yet tackled the electronic readers which have gained popularity over the last couple of years. Honestly if SIP does not begin to move with technology it will quickly be left behind which is at least in part the reason they were close to filing for bankruptcy.

"Mr. Grey?" Andrea says knocking on the door.

"Yes Andrea?" I ask barely looking up from my computer.

"Mr. Welsh is outside and would like to meet with you for a few minutes if you have time" Andrea says.

"When is my next appointment?" I ask.

"In fifteen minutes" she responds "with human resources to discuss the staffing needs for the SIP takeover."

"Get Roz to meet with HR, she knows what needs to be done. Then send Welsh in" I request. If Welsh is looking to see me in person I expect the information he has is not good. Normally Welsh sends my reports via email and we may have a follow up phone call but rarely do we meet in person to discuss background checks.

"Mr. Grey" Welsh says entering my office.

"Welsh, please have a seat and tell me what you have found" I request not wanting to delay in the inevitable.

"I have looked into Ms. Steele further as you requested" he begins. "Her medical history is unremarkable-"

"Wait?" I interrupt. "Unremarkable? What do you mean unremarkable?"

"Just that Mr. Grey, it's unremarkable" Welsh answers. "Her medical history shows she broke her arm twice as a child and once had a broken nose. There is nothing else on her medical history sir."

"There's nothing else on it?" I ask surprised. _What about the scars on her back that I felt? Something traumatic happened, I'm sure of it given her response when I touched that area. Maybe no one sought medical treatment for her?_ I shudder at the thought.

"No sir" Welsh responds.

"Okay" I sigh. "I know you didn't come up here to tell me there is nothing in her medical history."

"Right, sir" Welsh begins taking a deep breath. "As I mentioned earlier I cannot find anything with regards to a permanent address for Ms. Steele. The only address I can find is her post office box which is still current and she appears to pay the monthly rent on it regularly. I did look into her last known address…"

"And? Spit it out Welsh!" I say impatiently.

"It was a rooming house that was raided by the Seattle Police Department for illegal drug use about a month ago" Welsh says.

"What?" I ask shocked.

"I contacted a buddy of mine who works for the Seattle Police Department who happened to be one of the lead detectives on the case that night. According to him they had been watching the house for a few weeks and had enough evidence to arrest several residents for illegal drug use as well as the selling of illegal drugs. They raided the house in the early evening hours and found nearly every sort of drug you can imagine scattered throughout the house. They caught several people in the middle of selling drugs while others were nearby using drugs in the common areas of the house" Welsh explains.

"Where was Ms. Steele during this drug raid?" I ask. "She does not seem like the type who is involved in drugs."

"No, you are correct Mr. Grey. According to my buddy, Ms. Steele had been renting a room in the rooming house but a search of her room came back clean. She was not at the house during the drug raid but showed up just as they were finishing the arrests. According to the notes from one of the officers that evening, Ms. Steele had reported that she spent the night with a female friend the night before and was just returning to her room that evening. The officer accompanied her inside to allow her to gather some of her belongings and then gave her a list of nearby shelters" Welsh explains.

"Shelters?" I ask. "As in homeless shelters? Are you saying that is where she lives?"

"I believe so Mr. Grey" Welsh answers. "It would explain why I can't find a physical address for Ms. Steele. These shelters are typically not long term and most people will stay at different shelters throughout a week especially once the colder weather hits as shelters will fill up fast."

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out as I sit back in my chair. Homeless; I never would have guessed. She seems so strong but I can't imagine her sleeping in a homeless shelter. She could be hurt; someone could attack her! I feel my heart rate begin to increase and start thinking of how I can fix this. I can't let her continue living in a homeless shelter!

"What else did you find?" I ask almost afraid to know the answer.

"The last piece of information I have is about her education" Welsh explains which makes me breathe easier; that can't be worse than Welsh telling me she is homeless. "Ms. Steele receives several scholarships each semester for her high GPA in high school and a couple for essays she has written. However the scholarships barely cover her tuition and she is left it a balance of around $2,000 each semester. It looks like for the upcoming semester her balance is higher at $3,500 because there are graduation fees and an additional course that she is taking which allows her to graduate in May. The balance has not yet been paid but is due next Friday."

"Thank you Welsh. Please let me know if you find anything else; continue checking daily on her physical address" I request.

"Of course Mr. Grey" Welsh says leaving my office.

"Andrea! Get me the president of the University of Washington on the phone immediately" I request without waiting for her response.

"Yes sir" Andrea responds.

After a few minutes Andrea informs me that the president of the university is on the phone for me as I requested. It may be winter break but with the amount of grants I sponsor at the college Mr. Smith knows to take my call immediately.

"Mr. Grey, what a lovely surprise. How are you?" Mr. Smith asks as I pick up the line.

"Mr. Smith I'm doing well and you?" I ask.

"Trying to get ready for the holidays and the upcoming spring semester which starts in a matter of weeks" Mr. Smith explains.

"Yes, that is what I wanted to talk to you about" I begin. "I recently met with the head of your agricultural department and approved the grant request which should begin progressing in early spring. I am excited to see where the department takes this project as it has tremendous potential."

"We are forever grateful to you for allowing our students to work on such life changing techniques" Mr. Smith says.

"I would like to talk to you about a particular student at your university" I begin getting to the purpose of my call. "Anastasia Steele."

"One moment" Mr. Smith says as I hear him typing away on his computer. I did not expect him to know her by name since she is a good student and seems to stay out of trouble. "Yes I see her account in our system. She should be graduating in May and is currently an English Literature major."

"That's correct" I say. "I would like to reward her a scholarship for her high GPA average however it is imperative that she not know the scholarship came from my company or is associated with me in anyway."

"Ummmm….of course Mr. Grey" Mr. Smith replies, clearly surprised at my request. "We can apply the scholarship directly to her account and notify her that she received a scholarship sponsored by several local benefactors after one of her professors nominated her. This way it does not appear that there is one individual responsible for the scholarship. I see she currently has several scholarships that cover the majority of her tuition but she has a small balance due of $3,500 that is due within the next two weeks. What are the terms of the scholarship?"

"The scholarship will be in the amount of $13,500" I say having carefully calculated this figure.

"Mr. Grey" Mr. Smith begins "You understand that her balance is only $3,500 correct?"

"Yes, I heard you correctly. However what you did not tell me is that this student does not live on campus because she has no means to pay for room and board in your dorms. She works as a waitress to save up enough money to pay her balance to you with no financial assistance from anyone. She has no student loans and no family support. My scholarship for this student is to cover her remainder balance of her spring tuition and assist her in finding appropriate housing as she begins her career following graduation" I say sternly. _How dare he question me after the money I have given the university over the years!_

"Of course Mr. Grey" Mr. Smith says quickly recovering. "It's just very unusual to hand over such a large sum of money to a student especially money from a scholarship."

"Well Mr. Smith as I'm sure you've learned over the years working with me, I am a very unusual man" I state. "I can trust that this will be handled as I requested?"

"Yes Mr. Grey. I will apply the scholarship to her account today and she will be notified via mail of the scholarship reward" Mr. Smith explains.

"I want her to have immediate access to the funds. I don't want her to wait until the spring semester starts before she receives the funds. I will have a cashier's check hand delivered to your office within the next two hours" I direct.

"Of course Mr. Grey. I will have our billing department contact Ms. Steele today to notify her of the scholarship. She will be informed at that time that she can pick up a check for $10,000 at anytime" Mr. Smith replies.

"Thank you Mr. Smith, I appreciate you understanding this situation and assisting me in having this scholarship remain anonymous" I state before hanging up.

I meet briefly with Andrea and explain what is needed; Andrea is very competent in her responsibilities and immediately begins the process of obtaining the check from our financial department. I sit back and wait; I have to hope that Ana doesn't find out that the scholarship came from me. Although I know very little of her it's obvious from her background check that she is very strong and independent. It's the only explanation I can think of as to the reason she is not living with Ms. Kavanaugh. They are obviously best friends and would appear to get along well if they were roommates therefore I can only assume that Ms. Kavanaugh is not aware of Ana's living situation.


	10. Chapter 10

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy._

Chpt. 10: Ana's POV

The last couple of days have flown by and I was finally able to move into the room I rented yesterday. It felt so good to sleep in a bed again last night instead of a cot surrounded by dozens of people in a large cold room. I spent yesterday afternoon unpacking the few belongings I had with me but I need to wait until later this week to get the items from the locker on campus. The billing department at school called me this morning requesting I come in to discuss my bill. I still have ten days before the balance is due so I'm not sure what they want to discuss with me now. I agreed stop by their office in the next couple of days since I have to go to campus anyway to get the rest of my belongings.

I haven't heard from Christian since the night at the club but I haven't called him either. I'm going to wait a couple more days and then try to get up the nerve to call him. I don't want to call too soon and appear desperate. I really enjoyed spending time with him on Saturday night, but I worry that I freaked him out when he touched my back. Not that I could blame him as I'm sure I would have freaked out if he suddenly left me on the dance floor alone after I thought we were having a good time. I sigh….even years later I can still feel the effects of the abuse from him. I thought by now the nightmares would have ended and I would be able to tolerate something as normal as dancing with a guy. How will I ever have a normal relationship with someone if they can't touch my back? Would I ever be able to have sex? Or be intimate with someone?

I quickly decide I need to stop this pity party I seem to be having for myself or I will end up having a full blown panic attack. I decided to take a shower and bring along by bottle of disinfectant along with my toiletries. Although I haven't seen any shady activity going on here yet I can't just assume that someone regularly cleans the bathroom. Surprisingly the house is maintained fairly well and the landlord says she stops by at least two to three times per month to check on things. About two minutes into the shower there is already someone knocking on the door and yelling for me to hurry up. I ignore them but try to move as quickly as possible washing my hair and getting dressed.

"Finally! It's about time!" Says the woman who was standing in front of the door as soon as I opened it.

"Excuse me" I said and quickly made my way to my room, locking the door behind me. One day I will have a bathroom of my own, I sigh.

"Good Afternoon Antonio" I say walking into the restaurant to begin my lunch shift.

"Oh Ana, thank goodness you're here!" Antonio exclaims with a worried look on his face. "We are booked for dinner tonight and two of the wait staff called out sick-"

"Don't worry Antonio, I will work dinner tonight too" I interrupt knowing exactly what he was going to ask me.

"You're a life saver Ana! I don't know what I would do without you!" He says happily. "Oh, I have your paycheck in my office if you have a moment."

"Of course" I say following Antonio into his office.

"Antonio, I think there is a mistake in my check" I say after opening the envelope and seeing a much larger amount than I expected.

"No, there shouldn't be an error on your check. I personally double checked your paycheck when it arrived yesterday" he says looking confused.

"Antonio, this check is much more than I was expecting…." I begin, not really sure how to explain the error.

"Ana, there is no error, let me explain" he states pulling out the check and showing me the bottom portion where the pay is outlined. "You were paid a higher rate for the night of the private event since you were the head wait staff in charge of the event. This amount here is your portion of the gratuity from the private event that Mr. and Mrs. Grey paid at the end of the evening. This amount here is your holiday bonus; believe me I wish I could have given you more since you always help me out of bind including today! The remainder of the check is your hourly rate for the shifts you worked in the last two weeks. Understand?"

"Yes, Antonio" I stutter. "I was not expecting any of this; I cannot thank you enough!" I say and hug Antonio. He has been such a wonderful boss since I started here years ago. I had almost no waitressing experience when I applied for this job. I had been waitressing for a few months at a local dinner which was a complete dive but they only needed someone once or twice a week. I never thought Antonio would hire me when I walked into the restaurant one afternoon to apply for a job. It just so happened the day I walked into the restaurant was the day he had to fire a waitress for stealing from the register in the middle of lunch service. He took one look at me, briefly asked if I had ever waitressed before and then handed me a uniform. He explained this was a test run, if I did well he would hire me but if not he would pay me cash and send me on my way. I have been working for Antonio since I was 17 and was just getting back on my feet after running away.

"Ana-you have a table" says Marie the hostess for the lunch shift.

"On my way, thanks Marie!" I say grabbing my notepad and heading to my section.

"Good Afternoon…" I begin saying as I approach the table but stop suddenly when I realize Christian is sitting there. "Christian! What a surprise! I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"It's very nice to see you Ana" Christian says smiling. "I found myself in need of lunch today and couldn't think of a better place to go then here. I was hoping you were working today."

"Well you're in luck…I just started my shift" I say. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Just a coke I think" Christian answers.

"I'll be right back" I say quickly turning around to get his drink.

"Are you ready to order?" I ask returning to his table.

"I am, Ana" he answers. "I'll have the steak tips with mushrooms over rice pilaf and mixed vegetables."

"Of course, it shouldn't be too long as we aren't very busy yet this today" I say before returning to the kitchen.

I wait on a few more tables and take Christian his order. I find myself glancing at his table every few minutes still surprised that he showed up today. I've quickly realized that today is not turning out to be anything that I expected. I'm still shocked that my paycheck today was so much more than I thought it would be and the timing couldn't be better. I've been wanting to get Kate something for Christmas and need to give it to her this week before she goes to her parents' house for the holidays. I'm not sure what to get her and was worried I wouldn't be able to afford anything since I just moved into the new rooming house this week.

"Here's your bill Christian" I say after he declined any desert. "Is there anything else I can get?"

"How about dinner tonight with me?" he asks suddenly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I can't Christian" I say still a little surprised that he asked me out suddenly.

"Of course, I'm sorry Ana" he says quickly and puts his credit card in the bill holder.

"Christian I didn't mean I can't go out with you at all" I say quickly, realizing he thought I was rejecting him completely.

"Huh? You didn't?" He asks confused but I see a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"I want to go out with you but I'm working tonight for the dinner shift tonight too" I explain. "I was only supposed to work the afternoon shift but Antonio is short staffed so I agreed to work a double today."

"Oh, I see" he says. "Are you not working any days this week?"

"I'm free tomorrow evening" I suggest.

"Perfect!" He exclaims smiling. "How about I pick you up at 5:30 and we go to dinner?"

"Ummmm no that's okay, I will meet you" I say quickly. "Just text me the address."

"Are you sure? I can pick you up, it's not a problem" he replies.

"No, it's okay. I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing tomorrow as I have a few errands to run so I might be coming from somewhere" I say, which is not an entire lie since I realize I need to find something to wear for dinner.

"Okay, I will figure out the details and text you the address" he says, but I can tell he is a little disappointed I won't let him pick me up.

"I'll be right back with your receipt" I say, quickly going to the register to run his credit card.

"Here you go," I say returning to the table.

"Until tomorrow Ana" Christian says giving me just the slightest kiss on my cheek before leaving the restaurant.

I open the bill holder to realize that he left a $100 cash tip for a $35 bill. I immediately run to the door to find him and return the money. There is no way I can let him tip me three times more than his meal costs. As I open the front door and glance up and down the side walk, I realize he has left already so I can't return the money. I make a mental note to return it tomorrow when we go to dinner. I need to call Kate when I get a break today and ask if she has something I can wear for dinner tomorrow night. I also need to figure out how to avoid having him drive me home after the date. I cannot let him see where I live! I'm not embarrassed because I can see how far I have come, but bringing him to the rooming house would have him asking questions that I'm not ready to answer. How do you explain to someone you barely know why you ran away when you were 16 and don't talk to your family any longer?

"Hi Kate! I was just going to call you" I say answering my phone as I sat down for break before the dinner shift started.

"What's up Ana?" Kate asks.

"I need your help" I say. "I sort of have a date tomorrow night…"

"WHAT?! A date? Please tell me it's with Christian!" She exclaims.

"Yes" I laugh. "He stopped by the restaurant for lunch today and asked me to dinner tomorrow night-"

"Oh, Ana! You have to come over tomorrow. I will find you something perfect to wear!" Kate says happily.

"Thanks Kate! I don't know where he is taking me but I'm sure jeans and a college t shirt isn't going to cut it" I laughing. "Oh, but you called me just now. Was there something you needed?"

"Oh I almost forgot!" Kate answers. "I was going to see if you wanted to come for a girl's night tomorrow because I'm leaving on Thursday to go home for two weeks."

"I thought you weren't going home until next week?" I ask.

"My parents decided to surprise us all with a trip to the Bahamas for the holidays so we are leaving earlier than expected. Listen, would you mind if we exchanged gifts when I got back? I know it will be after the holidays, but I haven't had a chance to get your gift yet and now I have to leave in two days" she explains.

"No that's fine" I respond. "How about I spend the night after my date tomorrow night and I can help you pack on Thursday before your trip? I'm off on Thursday and just need to stop by the campus at some point this week to pay my bill."

"Sure sounds great! I will see you tomorrow, come by early in case we need to do some shopping!" Kate says hanging up.

The remainder of the night passes by quickly. As Antonio said, the restaurant was busy all night and they were turning away people without reservations. Although some of the wait staff complained about it being so busy, I am the opposite and enjoyed tonight. Being busy made the night go by faster and meant that I left with more tips then on a night when we were dead. I made my way back to the rooming house just after midnight and locked my tip money in the small lock box I hide in my book bag. No matter where I go, the book bag goes with me so if someone ever broke into my room they wouldn't have my cash. I try to stop by the bank every two days to deposit my tip money but there are some nights like tonight where I have a lot of cash which worries me. If anyone saw where I worked they would know that I had cash on me pretty much every time I leave the restaurant. Before going to bed I double check the door and window are locked as I've learned you can't trust anyone in these places.

I wake the next morning feeling rested which doesn't happen too often; I realize I haven't had nightmare in several days. As usual I am up by 5am even though I have nowhere to be this morning. I decide to take a trip to campus to pick up the rest of my clothing and maybe see if the billing office is open today. I was planning on going tomorrow but with Kate leaving I think I would rather spend the day with her then settling my bill. I double check that I have my checkbook before leaving the rooming house to grab some breakfast and catch a bus to campus. I stop by the little coffee shop that I bumped into Christian in a few weeks ago in the off chance he happens to stop by while I am there. Of course he isn't there and doesn't come in before I finish my croissant. Just as I'm about to leave my phone buzzes indicating a text message has come through.

_Good Morning beautiful! Looking forward to dinner tonight – C_

I smile and quickly respond.

_Good Morning to you too. I will be at Kate's tonight if you still want to pick me up –A_

_It will be my pleasure. I will pick you up at 5:30 at Kate's apartment –C_

This small exchange is the highlight of my morning; it's amazing how someone I barely know can have such an impact on my day. Having Christian pick me up at Kate's tonight means I don't have to figure out what bus I need to take to whatever restaurant he picks out. I was figuring the restaurant would likely not be near a bus stop and that I would have to spend a little extra money for a cab. I arrive on campus and immediately head to the billing office but they are not open for another 30 minutes so instead I head to the commuter lounge to gather my belongings. I'm sure I will get a few strange looks lugging all this stuff into the billing office but I could care less what they think. I just need to give them the check and be on my way.

"Can I help you?" the lady at the billing office asks.

"Yes, my name is Anastasia Steele and someone called earlier this week asking me to come in to discuss my bill" I say.

"One moment while I look up your account" she says.

"I'm aware that I have a balance on my account but I was under the impression that I still had another week to pay the balance and still be registered for the spring semester" I point out. I pay very close attention to detail and have all due dates marked in my date book so I know I didn't miss the date that my payment was due by.

"That's correct" she says. "One moment."

I wait a few more minutes while she looks at the computer screen and pulls out an envelope from a locked drawer behind her desk.

"Anastasia, it appears that you do not have a balance and are due a refund" she says handing me a sealed envelope.

"I don't understand?" I say confused. "I received a bill last week saying that I owed $3,500 which included my graduation fees. I haven't paid the bill yet?"

"Yes, last week you did have a balance of $3,500 however it appears that shortly after that bill was mailed to you a scholarship was applied to your account which resulted in a negative balance due which we refunded to you" she explains.

"A scholarship?" I ask still confused. "I wasn't aware that I was awarded a scholarship."

"It looks like you were mailed a letter yesterday explaining what the scholarship was including the amounts, I'm sorry but I don't know any of the specifics" she says clearly annoyed that I am asking so many questions.

"Would you mind printing a copy of the letter since I have not received it yet?" I ask.

"Here" she hands me another envelope that I see her putting a printed letter in.

"Thanks" I mumble and walk out.

I take my bags and find a nearby bench to sit on so I can figure this out. I quickly read over the letter which informs me that I have been awarded a scholarship for $13,500 for the spring semester. The letter further explains that several local benefactors recently donated money to the English Literature department marked specifically for a graduating senior student. Two of my professors nominated me for the scholarship which is given to students who have above a 3.8 GPA and have shown great potential to succeed in the literary field. The scholarship is designed to help graduating seniors not only with the tuition expense but also to assist students in preparing for careers after graduation. The letter explains that the scholarship will initially be applied to the balance owed for my tuition and the remainder will be distributed to me to use as needed. The letter states several times that this is not a loan therefore the money will not need to be paid back at any time. A peek in the next envelopes confirms what I thought; I have a check for $10,000.

I sit back in shock and complete gratitude for whatever two professors nominated me for this scholarship. My mind starts racing thinking of all the things I can do with this money. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be handed a check for $10,000 and not have to repay the money. I worked hard to get the scholarships I have and to not take out student loans to pay for my living expenses. I've spoken with many students who borrowed the maximum amount that they were allowed to borrow and then blew the money at fraternity parties or at the bars. After watching my mother while growing up I swore I would never be indebted to anyone. After my father died she racked up large amount of credit card debt and even took out a car loan for a brand new BMW. She hadn't worked a day in her life so I don't know how she thought she could afford everything. Once my father's life insurance money was gone she couldn't pay her debt. They eventually reprocessed the BMW but the credit card debt followed her. She constantly made excuses that she couldn't leave one guy or another because she couldn't afford to support me on her own.

Before returning to the boarding home, I quickly stop by the bank to deposit the check from the school, my paycheck from Antonio as well as the tip money from last night. As the teller hands me my receipt, I am again shocked at the balance my checking account now has. I decide for once I am going to do something for me and vow to buy a new outfit for dinner tonight instead of borrowing one from Kate. As for the rest of my money, I need to think further about it. I don't want to make any sudden decision and spend the money needlessly. I return to the boarding home and unpack my clothes and make a mental note to find a laundry mat tomorrow after I get home from Kate's. The one I used last week is not as convenient to this house and means lugging my laundry several blocks each way.

_What time are you coming over? –K_

_Leaving in a few minutes –A_

I quickly pack my overnight bag, lock up my room and head to the bus stop. I arrive at Kate's a short time later and I appreciate the fact that it doesn't take as long to get to campus or Kate's place from the new room. I immediately tell Kate my plans to go shopping for an outfit and that's all it takes for Kate to grab her keys and drag me out of the house. We spend the entire afternoon shopping and eventually take a break to grab lunch. This time, I treat Kate to lunch and tell her it's a thank you for spending the day shopping me. Kate has amazing taste in clothes and picks out several dresses for me to try on. I notice this time she has avoided dresses that would show where my scars are and appreciate that she remembered that. At some point I realize we are going to have to have a conversation about it but I'm going to try to put it off as long as possible.

_Same day: Christian's POV_

"Mr. Grey, I have Welsh on line one" Andrea says through the intercom.

"Grey" I say picking up the line.

"Mr. Grey, I have an update for you on Ms. Steele" Welsh says.

"Go on…" I say hesitantly.

"I have found a physical address for Ms. Steele. According to the information I have she signed a month to month lease at a rooming house located at 979 32nd street having moved in two days ago" Welsh explains.

"What do you know about this area Welsh?" I ask, concerned for safety.

"It is a slightly better area than the area she rented the last room in. There is still an increase in crime in the area and I wouldn't allow my daughter to walk through that neighborhood even during the daytime. However, the police have been making their presence known more in than area in an effort to try to clean the area up" Welsh explains.

"Well at least it's something" I say.

"I have also been notified that the school issued Ms. Steele her refund today in the amount of $10,000 which she almost immediately deposited into her bank account" Welsh explains.

"Well done Welsh" I say hanging up the phone.

"Andrea!" I call and within seconds she appears at my door. "Can you tell Taylor I need to see him?"

"Yes Mr. Grey" Andrea says and quickly leaves.

Minutes later, Taylor enters my office.

"You asked to see me Mr. Grey?" Taylor asks.

"Yes" I answer. "I want you to put a security detail on Anastasia Steele. Welsh has informed me that he found a physical address for her as she just moved into a new rooming house. I want discrete security on Ms. Steele; she should not know that she is being watched."

"Of course Mr. Grey. I will get right on it. When do you want the security detail to start?" Taylor asks.

"I am having dinner with Ms. Steele this evening at The Harbor Inn and it seems she is spending at least the day with Ms. Kavanaugh today. I expect that she will likely spend the night with Ms. Kavanaugh tonight therefore I think the security detail should start tomorrow when she leaves" I answer.

"Yes sir" Taylor says glancing at his watch. "We should leave to get to Flynn's office on time."

Taylor drives the short distance to Dr. Flynn's office which is conveniently located only a few blocks from GEH. I have weekly sessions scheduled with Dr. Flynn but he is on call for emergency sessions whenever I need to see him.

"Flynn" I say walking into his office.

"Christian, please have a seat" Flynn says gesturing to the chairs in front of his desk.

"Where would you like to begin today?" Flynn asks.

"I have a date tonight" I blurt out.

"Really? With whom?" Flynn asks.

"Ms. Steele" I answer.

"How did this come about? I think the last I heard you had bumped into her in a coffee shop right?" Flynn asks looking at his notes.

"Yes and then later that night I went out with Elliot and the girl he hooked up with the previous night. Turns out she brought her best friend to the club; her and Elliot must have teamed up to set us both up. Anyway, her best friend was Ana. We really hit it off that night and had a wonderful time talking and dancing but while we were dancing something happened…." I pause not knowing how to explain what happened next.

"Go on…" Flynn encourages.

"We were dancing and sort of making out; she seemed to be enjoying it. She turned around so she was facing me and we continued to kiss. Just as she was deepening the kiss, I put my hand on the center of her lower back" I explain. "It was only there a split second but I felt an indication in her skin."

"What kind of indentation? Like a scar?" Flynn asks.

"I assume so. It was sort of a solid straight line just above her waist line where it wasn't covered by her dress. Anyway, like I said my hand was there for a split second before she bolts from me saying she needs to use the bathroom. Elliot's date, Kate, notices her rushing off the dance floor and follows. They were gone for a really long time, Flynn. Longer than normal for girls" I say.

"What happened when they came back?" Flynn asks.

"Nothing" I answer. "They joked about the line for the bathroom being long and we didn't discuss it again but I got the impression she did not want to talk about it."

"But you do" Flynn states.

"Yes!" I exclaim. "I want, no I need, to know what happened to her? She reacted the same way I would if someone touched my bear chest or back which tells me someone abused her. Who could hurt someone as beautiful as she is? How long did it go on? Was the person caught? When did it finally stop? How did she survive?"

"Deep breaths Christian" Flynn says softly.

I hadn't realized I got myself worked up discussing what happened with Ana but I found face was hot and my heart was beating very fast.

"Fuck!" I exclaim.

"Language Christian" Flynn reminds me. "It's obvious that you care very deeply about this girl already."

"That's just it, I know very little about her. The background checks-" I begin.

"Wait! You ran background checks on her?" Flynn asks; I nod in response. "I thought you only ran background checks on employees and subs. I know she doesn't work for you…."

"After I ran into her at my parent's holiday party I had to find out more information about her. The only way was to run a background check…hell I didn't even know her name when I left the party! But the background check really didn't tell me anything. Her mother has been married 5 times, Ana's father was her first husband and died when Ana was young. Welsh couldn't find a physical address for Ana for some time, however he suspects that she was living in homeless shelters during that time as her last address was for a rooming house that was raided by the police for illegal drug activity" I explain.

"Did her background check give you any insight into the scar on her back?" Flynn asks.

"No, her medical history was pretty bleak which I assume means that whoever hurt her that bad never saw that she got medical attention for it. Where was her mother during all this? If it was her mother who did it, where were all the boyfriends and husbands she had during that time? How could someone let a child suffer from an injury that obviously needed medical attention for so long?" I ask angrily.

"Christian" Flynn says gently. "Do you realize what you're asking?"

"What are you talking about? Of course I know what I just fucking said! I want to know why someone didn't get Ana to see a doctor!" I yell.

"Christian, deep breaths. Take a seat" Flynn says. "What I meant was, do you see the resemblance in what you are asking about Ana to what happened to you as a toddler?

"Huh…that was different" I answer.

"Was it?" Flynn asks.

"My mother….she couldn't…." I stutter slowly realizing what Flynn was trying to point out. "Oh fuck….I need to go."

"No Christian, you need to stay" Flynn says firmly.

"You have scars on your chest and your back from your childhood. Did you ever get medical attention for those injuries?" Flynn asks.

"You know damn well I didn't!" I grimace at Flynn. "I didn't have any medical treatment until the police found my mother dead in the apartment."

"And where was your mother while her pimp was abusing you?" Flynn asks.

"Fuck you! You know exactly where she was; she was passed out on the couch high as a kite" I yell and storm out of Flynn's office.

"Taylor take me to Escala, I'm not returning to the office today" I say approaching the car where Taylor is waiting.

"Yes sir" Taylor says closing the door behind me.

I fire off emails to Roz and Andrea informing them that I won't be returning to the office today. How dare Flynn turn the session completely around to go from answering my questions about Ana to focusing on me! Of course I recognize the possibility that her background is similar to my first few years of life before Grace and Carrick adopted me. That is what scares the shit out of me about Ana and makes me want to protect her anyway I possibly can. I don't know the extent of what she went through but I will do anything to see that she is not hurt again! She has obviously experienced too much pain in her life already.

"Grey" I answer my phone sharply.

"Christian, Darling! How are you?" Elaina asks.

"Busy Elaina, what do you want" I answer, cursing myself for not looking at the caller ID before answering.

"Now Christian, is that any way to speak to a friend?" Elaina asks.

"Elaina, as I said I'm busy" I respond quickly. "I'm in the middle of a project, what can I do for you?"

"Well Christian" she says sighing. "I'm calling because you haven't responded to any of my calls or the emails I sent you. Did you get the email with the pictures of potentials subs I have for you?"

"Yes I did" I answer.

"And?" Elaina asks.

"And as I told you before at this time I'm not interested in a sub" I respond.

"What do you mean you're not interested? How will you maintain control? You sound very tense right now and it's only been a matter of weeks since you let go your last sub. She was contracted with you for what a month? Your contracts have been getting shorter and shorter Christian; are your needs changing? Do you need someone with less hard limits?" Elaina asks.

"No!" I exclaim. "I'm just not interested in subs right now. Now if you excuse me I have a date to get ready for."

"A date?" She says laughing. "You can't be serious Christian! You're not cut out for dating, no one in our lifestyle is satisfied by regular dating you know this! What's really going on? If you need someone who is into the harder parts of our lifestyle just let me know and I will find you someone. Hell if I can't I will even –"

"NO! Enough Elaina" I interrupt her disgusted suddenly at where this conversation is going. "I've said I'm not interested in a sub and even if I was you will never sub for me again."

"But Christian-" Elaina begins to say but I cut her off by ending the call.

I spend a few hours in the gym working off my anger and frustration from my session with Flynn today and the call with Elaina. By the time I need to leave to pick up Ana I am completely relaxed but somewhat nervous. I have never been on a date; up until now all of my relationships have been with submissives as part of the BDSM lifestyle. Contracts were developed and they would come to my penthouse on the days and times I specified. Everything was controlled and planned in advance so there were no surprises. For many years the lifestyle helped me, or so I thought. By having contracts which spelled out rules that subs had to follow I protected myself from anyone getting too close to me physically and emotionally. However about a year ago I admitted to Flynn that I was getting the same satisfaction from the lifestyle anymore. Of course there was the physical gratification however I was left wanting something more from the sessions. It's taken me a year of sessions with Flynn to realize I am not going to get what I'm looking for as long as I only seek contractual relationships with women in the BDSM lifestyle. Until I bumped into Ana, I hadn't met a woman that I wanted to try to a normal relationship with. Now that I found Ana and know a little about her, I'm scared as hell and don't want to hurt her.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: Thank you for your continued reviews and support! I am stunned that this story has over 90 reviews already and so many followers! This chapter is all about Ana and Christian's first date.

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James & the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy_

**Chpt. 11: Ana's POV**

Kate and I spent the entire afternoon shopping and finally found the perfect dress for my dinner tonight. It's a short black cocktail style dress with a flowing skirt that falls to just below my mid-thigh. The back of the dress fully covers everything but is of a mesh fabric to the middle of my back. The front of the dress has a sweetheart neckline that plunges just enough to show a tasteful amount of cleavage. The cap sleeves have the same mesh fabric as the back of the dress. The outfit is complete with a pair of Kate's silver heels and a couple bracelets.

"Ana! You look beautiful!" Kate exclaims as she puts the final touches on my hair and make up.

"Thank you Kate!" I respond. "I couldn't have done it without your fashion assistance today!"

"Well, we all know what great fashion sense I have" she says laughing. "What time is your meeting with billing on campus tomorrow?"

"Oh! I completely forgot to tell you!" I answer. "I stopped by the billing office because I had to get a few things from the library. Turns out they weren't calling to discuss my bill but to inform me I had one a scholarship!"

"What? I didn't know you applied for one?" Kate says. "But that's wonderful news!"

"I didn't apply for it," I explain. "A couple of my professors nominated me for the scholarship which provides not only tuition assistance but provides extra funds to help students preparing for the real world."

"Congratulations Ana!" Kate says hugging me.

We hear the buzzer alerting us that someone is requesting access to Kate's building.

"Yes?" Kate asks.

"It's Christian" a voice over the intercom says.

"Come on up. Second floor, apartment 204" Kate responds.

"I'm going to use the bathroom again…" I say, feeling the butterflies starting in my stomach already. I've never been out on a real date and I'm nervous as hell.

"Christian, please come in" Kate says inviting Christian into her apartment.

"Thank you Ms. Kavanaugh" Christian says.

"Ana will be out in one moment" Kate states.

"Of course" Christian responds.

"I'm only going to say this once" Kate says in a hushed tone. "If you hurt my best friend, I will personally hunt you down and kill you. She is a wonderful person who doesn't deserve any more pain to come to her."

"I couldn't agree more and have no plans of hurting her" Christian says.

"What are you two whispering about?" I ask walking out of the room and seeing Christian and Kate talking very quietly at the breakfast bar.

"How absolutely stunning you look tonight" Christian says walking over to me and kissing me on the cheek.

"I doubt it, but thank you" I answer. "Kate, I will see you later tonight."

"You have your spare key?" Kate asks; Kate had given me a spare key to her apartment a year or so ago just incase she ever lost her key.

"Yes Kate," I answer hugging her good bye.

Christian takes my hand and leads me out the building to his car where his driver is once again waiting for us.

"Ana this is Taylor my head of security and driver" Christian says. "Taylor, this is Ana Steele my date for this evening."

"It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am" Taylor says shaking my hand.

"Please it's Ana" I respond. "Ma'am makes me sound old."

"I have reservations booked at the Harbor View Inn for us this evening, I hope you like it" Christian says as we start to pull away from Kate's apartment.

"I've never been there but I have heard wonderful things about it" I answer. In realty I've heard a few customers talk about it but could never afford to go there on my own. The prices there are double what Antonio charges for meals.

"The food is well known through Seattle and has received reviews by several popular food and wine magazines" Christian explains. "Almost just as important as the food, is the view. The restaurant sits on the water and beautiful views of the harbor from almost every table in the dinning room."

"It sounds beautiful" I say in awe.

We ride in a silence for a few minutes before arriving at the Harbor View Inn; as Christian described the view even from outside the building is amazing. You can see boats sailing in the distance just as the sun sets over the water.

"Christian this is breathtaking" I sigh.

"It really is" Christian says looking at me as I gaze out at the view.

Christian reaches down, tilting my chin up and gently places his lips on mine. Just like our last kiss, it starts out very gently but quickly becomes more passionate. My hands are around his neck as I twirl his hair in my fingertips. Christian's hands thankfully remain firmly planted on my hips; I can't help but think he is afraid to move too much after what happened at the club. Just as I begin to worry about his hands, Christian pulls apart leaving us both breathless.

"We should get inside before we give everyone a show" Christian says giggling.

"Good idea" I say following Christian inside.

"Reservations for Grey, table for two" Christian says to the hostess.

We follow the hostess to a secluded section of the restaurant where we are seated at a small table next to the window. The view is breathtaking and I can't help but stare out at the water as we sit down. I barely hear the waitress telling us the specials for this evening as I watch a boat pulling into the dock near the restaurant.

"Ana?" Christian asks.

"Oh, sorry" I say, turning my attention back to Christian and the waitress.

"Would you like some wine?" Christian asks.

"That would be nice," I respond.

"We will have a bottle of the Primal Cut Cabernet Sauvignon" Christian says dismissing the waitress.

"Beautiful view" I say as I begin looking over the menu.

"This is one of my favorite restaurants in Seattle in part because of the view" Christian explains. "The food is the other reason I come here often."

"Excuse me, are you ready to order?" The waitress asks.

"Ana?" Christian asks.

"Yes" I say. "I will have the pan seared scallops with mushroom risotto and the garden medley vegetables."

"That sounds good, I think I will have the same" Christian states.

"Tell me about yourself Ana" Christian says as the waitress returns to the kitchen.

"There's not much to tell" I say. "As you already know, I'm graduating in a few months from college and then hope to enter the real world. Kate and I have been best friends since our freshman year of college when we met in orientation."

"You don't live with Kate?" Christian asks.

"No, I rent a place not far from Kate so we can still see each other often" I say stretching the truth about the closeness my room is to her apartment. "I'm thinking of moving in with Kate though when my lease is up."

"Oh?" Christian says surprised.

"She's been bugging me for a year or two now to room with her and I figure her place is closer to the downtown area which is likely where I will be working after graduation" I explain. "What about you? You told me a little about your job when we were at the club the other night."

"Let's see" Christian says pausing. "I dropped out of Harvard during my sophomore year much to my father's disappointment. I couldn't tolerate sitting in classes for hours listening to someone lecture about business when I felt I should be out there experiencing it for myself. I took at loan out and started my business a few months after dropping out of college. The first couple years were rough but my company started to become known in the business industry and things started to get a little easier. I now employee hundreds of employees if you count all of the companies who fall under GEH's umbrella."

"That's amazing" I say in shock that someone so young could accomplish so much. "Your parents must be very proud."

"They are" Christian says. "But they are equally proud of all three of their children."

"Elliot is your older brother right?" I ask.

"Yes and I have a younger sister Mia" Christian answers. "We were all adopted by my parents when we were young."

"What do your parents do? And your siblings?" I ask.

"My mother is a pediatrician at Seattle Hospital, my father is lawyer" Christian explains. "Elliot owns a construction business that I often partner with to handle the remodeling needs of the companies GEH takes over. Mia just finished culinary school in France and is looking for a position in Seattle."

"Wow, you have all had such success" I say in amazement.

"Do you have any siblings?" Christian asks.

"No" I say just as the waitress returns with our food. "This looks delicious."

We sit quietly enjoying each other's company as we eat. I feel at ease with Christian and the nervousness I felt earlier today is gone. Over dinner Christian tells me more about a few acquisitions his company has had in the past couple of years. I am truly impressed that this young man sitting in front of me has taken over so many large companies yet still gives back to the community as he describes some of the grants he has provided to several universities.

"Christian, Darling! What a wonderful surprise" says a woman approaching our table speaking directly to Christian and ignoring my presence at the table.

"Elaina, I would like you to meet my date Ana" Christian says introducing me to the woman I quickly recognize as the blond bitch from the restaurant and the holiday party.

"Ana" Elaina says extending her hand.

"It's nice to meet you" I lie shaking her hand.

"Christian, I wasn't expecting to see you here tonight" Elaina says turning her back to me. "Did you get the email I sent you with the pictures the other day?"

"Yes Elaina; we discussed those earlier today and I believe I made my opinion of those known to you" Christian says angrily.

"Of course" Elaina says. "I will send you some additional photos when I get home tonight and we can discuss it tomorrow. Maybe I will stop by Escala tomorrow."

"That won't be necessary" Christian says.

"Oh I'm sorry" Elaina says. "I will wait until this one leaves tomorrow before stopping by. Let's say around 6?"

"Excuse me" I say, now I'm pissed. "We are in the middle of dinner and our food is getting cold."

"What?" Elaina says clearly surprised that I spoke up. "Christian, you are not going to allow her to speak to me like that are you? I mean, come on she is just a waitress where your parents had a party. She doesn't belong with someone like you."

"Excuse me" I interrupt her as I feel my anger reaching its limit. "Please leave us to enjoy our dinner."

"Good night Elaina" Christian says dismissing her. "Please call my office to schedule an appointment."

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm" Elaina says giving me a dirty look before leaving our table.

"I am so sorry" Christian says. "I had no idea she would be here and never would have expected her to say something like that."

"It's not your fault she has no manners Christian" I say taking a deep breath.

"Please don't let her ruin our evening; I will address her rudeness with her the next time I speak to her. She knows nothing about you and should learn not to make assumptions about people she doesn't know" Christian says.

"It's okay Christian" I reply. "People do it more often than they realize."

"So tell me what got you interested in publishing?" Christian says, changing the subject.

"Growing up I always loved to read; my dad started reading to me when I was very young and it just sort of stuck with me. He would travel often for business but whenever he came home he would bring me a new book and we would start reading it together. I love the idea of getting lost in a story and forgetting about all your worries while you read. Sometimes you need to escape reality and a book is a perfect way to do that" I explain.

"You must have a large collection of books" Christian says.

"I did" I say sadly. "My dad died when I was young and my mother had a difficult time following his death. We moved around a lot growing up and each time we had to take less and less with us. Unfortunately my books were often left behind since she did not consider it a necessity."

"I'm so sorry the loss of your father" Christian says. "It's obvious listening to you that you were very close to him."

"We were close; everyone said I had him wrapped around my finger. Whenever he wasn't working we spent time together" I explained recalling some of my fond memories of my father.

"Are you close with your mother?" Christian asks.

"No" I say sighing. It's difficult to explain to someone who doesn't know your past why you aren't close to your mother. I could never forgive my mother for standing by and doing nothing while I was abused all those years. "She lives in Georgia but we don't speak often."

"I'm sorry to hear that" Christian says sadly.

"It is what it is" I reply.

"Would you like some desert this evening?" The waitress asks thankfully interrupting us at the perfect time.

"Ana?" Christian asks.

"No thank you," I answer. "Dinner was very good though."

"I will prepare your bill and be back shortly" the waitress says.

"Speaking of bills" I say suddenly remembering an issue I needed to discuss with Christian.

"Yes?" Christian asks confused.

"I can't accept this tip" I say returning the $100 to him from yesterday.

"Why not? It is a tip for the service you provided" Christian explains.

"Yes but your bill was only about a third of the amount of the tip you left. Typically people tip a percentage of the bill" I explain.

"Well it was exceptional service you provided" Christian explains pushing my hand back to me with the money still in it.

"Christian I can't accept it, it's too much" I say.

"Well I can't accept it back" Christian says angrily. _Why is he getting so upset that I'm giving him his money back?_

"Then I will leave it for this waitress" I say putting the money on the table.

"Why would you do that?" Christian asks.

"She needs a tip and my guess is this bill will far exceed the amount you spent on lunch yesterday so it's likely more appropriate for her than for me" I explain.

"I can afford to leave you both the same tip and I think your service called for an extravagant tip" Christian says still looking angry.

"I'm sure you can" I say defiantly.

"Ugh" Christian says sighing just as the waitress returns with the bill.

We sit the next few moments in silence as we wait for the waitress tor return with his receipt and credit card. I'm still confused as to why Christian is angry that I can't accept his tip; surely he sees that leaving a tip more than three times the cost of the meal is inappropriate! I assume the only reason he left such a large tip was because of the time spent together at the club and that I agreed to have dinner with him.

"Would you like to take a walk with me?" Christian asks.

"Sure" I answer glad to see that he doesn't seem as angry any longer.

We leave the table and I notice Christian has left the money on the table in addition to whatever he left in the bill holder. Christian takes my hand as we leave the restaurant and head in the opposite direction of where the car is parked. We walk a short distance before we come to a pier which Christian leads me out onto. We walk towards the end of the pier and sit on bench still holding hands.

"This is amazing, thank you" I say quietly. The view here is even better than that of the restaurant which I didn't think was even possible.

"I enjoyed spending time with you tonight Ana" Christian says.

"As did I Christian" I reply quietly.

We sit gazing out at the harbor for what feels like an eternity. I swear I could sit here all night; the peacefulness is very comforting. I may have to see if there are any buses that run near here; I would love to come out here again and enjoy the view. I look over at Christian and find him staring at me instead of enjoying the view of the water.

"What?" I say suddenly nervous.

"You're beautiful" Christian says leaning in for a kiss. Once again our kiss becomes very passionate and I find myself wanting to be closer to him. Christian begins sucking on my bottom lip which causes me to moan into his mouth further. Christian takes control of the kiss and deepens it even further as I feel his hands move me closer to him. We are now almost sitting on our sides facing each other and having quite a heavy make out session oblivious to the fact that we are in public. I'm pulling Christian's head closer to me and place my hand on the center of his back urging him closer to me still. Christian moans at this gesture and moves his hand to my hip mimicking my gesture urging me closer to him. After a few more minutes Christian pulls away panting.

"Wow" he says quietly.

"Yeah," I agree. "Wow."

"We should head back to the car" Christian says, taking my hand and leading me back to the car.

"I'm surprised no one else is out here. This view is amazing. I had no idea this place existed" I say.

"This place is usually packed" Christian explains showing me the closed sign at the end of the pier that I overlooked earlier.

"Taylor, we ready to take Ms. Steele home" Christian says to Taylor who was standing at the end of the pier. I blush suddenly realizing he was there the entire time we were making out.

"Christian, why was the pier closed tonight but we were still able to sit on it?" I ask.

"Because I asked for it to be closed" Christian explained as if it were no big deal. "I wanted you to enjoy the view and the experiencing without having people in the way."

"Oh" I sigh. "Thank you, it truly was memorable."

We drove back to Kate's apartment making small talk along the way mostly about the Seattle area. Although I have lived in Seattle for several years now I have not explored the city beyond the areas near campus, Kate's apartment and the shelters I have stayed in. I am eager to finish college and find a real job downtown to explore that section of the city. We quickly arrive at Kate's apartment where Christian kisses me goodbye and promises to call me in the next day or two.

"Kate?" I say walking into the apartment where Kate is nowhere to be seen.

"In my room" Kate says.

I enter Kate's room and start laughing. Her clothes are thrown all over the bedroom and suitcases are half open on her bed some empty and some with piles of clothes in it. We start packing her clothes as I tell her about my date with Christian. I am still shocked that the date went so well and that I felt so comfortable with him. There was no nervousness and I didn't feel awkward with him which was my fear when I was getting ready for tonight. I thought it would be weird because we obviously come from very different backgrounds and social circles. I was afraid we wouldn't have much to talk about but that couldn't be further from the truth.

"Oh, guess what?" Kate says interrupting me replaying the date in my mind.

"What?" I ask.

"Elliot is going to come to the Bahamas for a few days after Christmas!" Kate exclaims.

"Really?" I asked surprised. "That's wonderful! You guys are moving pretty quick aren't you?"

"I know!" She exclaims. "It's so unlike me! I have never fallen for a guy as hard as I am falling for Elliot! He said he couldn't bear the thought of being away from me for more than two weeks so he decided to book a hotel room near our villa and come down for a few days. His parents wouldn't let him miss out on Christmas with them, which I get, so he is flying out the day after Christmas."

"When will you be returning?" I ask.

"On January 5th just in time for the start of the spring semester a couple days later" Kate answers. "Oh that reminds me, I need the biggest favor!"

"Of course Kate, anything you need" I answer.

"My neighbor was supposed to take care of Murray while I'm gone but she just told me today she is leaving tonight to be with her mother who had a stroke yesterday. She isn't sure when she will be back. Could you come and feed Murray every couple of days? Maybe spend a night or two a few times so he isn't lonely? You know how Murray hates to be alone" Kate says just as her cat Murray jumps into her suitcase and falls asleep.

"Sure, no problem Kate" I say.

"Thank you! I owe you big time Ana!" Kate says hugging me.

I sleep peacefully that night without a nightmare and wake up feeling rested. I make Kate coffee and an omelet for breakfast. She must smell the bacon cooking because she quickly emerges from her room just as breakfast is finished. Kate can't boil water let along cook a meal; I'm convinced she only gets a real meal when I stay over or when she goes home to her visit her parents. I make a mental note to cook up some dinner dishes while she is gone and freeze them for her so she meals she can heat up quickly. I consider buying a small fridge for my room so I can bring a couple frozen meals to heat up. I have a little extra cash now so I think I will keep an eye out for the holiday sales at the stores and see if I can't find a good deal on one.

"Oh I almost forgot to tell you," Kate says finishing breakfast. "Elliot said he was shocked to see you and Christian on the dance floor at the club the other night."

"Why would he be surprised?" I ask.

"He says he hasn't seen Christian with a woman before" Kate says. "Elliot says he doesn't date and never brings a date home or to any of his parent's parties. Apparently his family thinks he is gay."

"Really?" I ask surprised. "Well I can tell you with certainty that Christian is not gay" I say blushing.

We both starting giggling and decide to watch a couple movies before we need to part ways. It will be strange not seeing Kate for a couple weeks; she has become a regular fixture in my life. We typically see each other at least a couple times a week and talk or text almost daily. After pizza and beer for dinner we quickly say goodbye promising to call each other even while she is away. I'm not sure that will be possible as I doubt my prepaid cell phone has the capabilities of calling the Bahamas but I agree nonetheless. I could always call from Kate's apartment when I am here checking on the cat.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: I apologize, somehow I missed updating this chapter. The previous chapter 12 is now chapter 13. I'm so sorry!

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James and The Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy_

**Chpt. 12: Ana's POV**

The next couple of days go by quickly as I am working every day at the restaurant including another double when a waitress calls out sick. Antonio informs all the wait staff that we are booked for two dinner services on Christmas eve and therefore anyone calling out sick who does not provide a doctor's note will lose their job immediately. He informs us that Christmas day we are closed as always but we will be open on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Schedules for new year's will come out in the next week or so but no further requests off will be honored. Several of the wait staff moan obviously regretting that they had not submitted their request off before today. It doesn't bother me much as with Kate in the Bahamas I don't know what I would do anyway.

Christian has called me once but texted me a several times since our date; apparently he is very busy at work with some big acquisition. He apologizes every time we talk that he couldn't talk to me earlier in the day or reply to a text message I sent sooner. It's been nice having someone else to talk to besides Kate especially since I only heard from Kate once since she left for the Bahamas.

"Hello?" I say answering my phone while on break during dinner service.

"Anastasia?" a female voice asks.

"This is she" I answer.

"This is Mrs. Connor the owner of the boarding home you rent a room in" Mrs. Connor states.

"Oh hi Mrs. Connor, how are you?" I say surprised that she has called. I haven't heard from her since I signed my lease and hadn't expected to hear from her until the next time rent is due.

"I could be better Anastasia" Mrs. Connor replies.

"Oh?" I say confused as to why she is calling me.

"Yes, I received a complaint about your behavior and unfortunately this means I will need to terminate your lease at the end of the month" Mrs. Connor says.

"What? I'm sorry, what behavior?" I say even more confused now. I haven't really spoken to any of the residents and am barely at the house so I can't imagine who is complaining about me.

"One of our longtime residents states that you came back to the house reeking of alcohol and stumbling into the walls on Wednesday night. Apparently the commotion woke several people up before you finally managed to unlock the door to your room. As you know, your lease clearly prohibits you from coming into the residence under the influence of drugs or alcohol. As your lease is a month to month lease I am notifying you today that your lease will not be renewed at the end of the month. I expect you to have your room cleaned out by 5pm on December 31st. Understood?" Mrs. Connor asks firmly.

"Yes Mrs. Connor" I state. "But I think the person is mistaken. I did not return to the house on Wednesday; I spent the night at my friend's apartment who lives close to campus. So it's not possible that the person who filed the complaint saw me."

"Ms. Steele, are you calling the other resident a liar?" She asks barely waiting for a response. "This person described you in detail including the black dress you were wearing that night. Were you wearing a black dress?"

"Yes I was but-" I answer confused.

"Then nothing, she obviously saw you and perhaps with your drinking problem you have the days confused. I will refund your security deposit per the terms of your lease within thirty days of your lease ending" Mrs. Connor states and ends the call.

I am stunned; it's obvious this person is lying since I was with Christian for dinner on Wednesday evening and then was with Kate until after dinner on Thursday. I don't understand how the person who called Mrs. Connor knows what I was wearing Wednesday; I wore different clothes back to the house on Thursday. As my shift continues that evening I continue to try to figure out what I did to have someone at the house so angry with me that they have to make up lies to tell Mrs. Connor. Making my way back to the house later that night, I begin to think about what my next steps will be. There weren't many rooms for rent when I was looking for this room last month since most of the rooms fill up quickly in the winter. At least I won't have to spend another Christmas in a homeless shelter, being in a place like that on a holiday is the worst. Everyone is depressed and the staff usually tries to lift everyone's hopes by decorating and playing holiday music. What the staff fail to realize as those things do the opposite; they are a constant remind that we have no one to spend the holidays with.

_"Ana-call me tomorrow from my apartment. I tried calling your cell but it won't go through" –K_

_"Okay, I will stop by in the morning" –A _

I finally drift off to sleep a little after two in the morning still contemplating what I'm going to do for a place to stay at the end of the month. I finally realize I have little choice but to return to a shelter if I can't find a room in the meantime.

_"Bitch where are you?" I hear him yelling for me. I pull my legs up to my chest and try to hide deeper in my closet._

_"Baby was is it?" I hear my mom ask him._

_"My fucking rum is missing. She stole it! The fucking bitch stole my rum!" He yells storming around the living room of the small trailer we rent._

_"Are you sure baby? I don't think she-" I hear my mom ask before I hear a loud slap. _

_"Are you questioning me?" He yells at her._

_"No, of course not" mom quickly answers him._

_"Bitch get out here right now!" He yells standing outside the curtain 'door' of my bedroom._

_"Ana, please come out here" mom says._

_Glancing around the room I realize I have no choice but to come out. The trailer only has two bedrooms so it's not like I could go far to hide. They would find me eventually. _

_"Where is my fucking rum you bitch?" He screams at me as soon as I come into the living room._

_"I don't know" I say quietly. "You probably drank it."_

_"What did you say?" He yells at me as I regret that I said the last part aloud._

_"I said you probably drank it. I didn't drink it! I don't touch that shit" I answer._

_He grabs my throat and lifts me off the ground while pinning me against the wall. I can barely breath and feel that the room starting to spin. I look at my mother who is behind him doing nothing to stop him and not saying anything. She refuses to make eye contact me as he brings his fist to my rib cage forcefully. I cringe as I hear the crack as his fist makes contact but can't scream because he continues hold my throat closed. _

_"Sweetie, let's go buy another bottle. It will be my treat" I hear my mom say but I can't see her as the room is almost completely black now. I feel myself close to passing out just as he let's go and I fall into a pile on the floor struggling to catch my breath._

_"I'll be back for you bitch!" He says as he kicks my ribs again before storming out. _

_They come back several hours later drunk and he finds me just as he promised he would. This time he comes in with a new belt that he says he bought just for me. He beats me hard until I pass out on the floor from the pain of the belt and from my ribs as I try to breathe through the beating. I scream for my mother several times but he tells me to keep screaming because she can't hear me which means obviously she is passed out yet again. As I look in the mirror the next morning I can clearly see the belt buckle imprint he left in my skin which is covered in dry blood from where the metal pierced my skin._

_End Flashback_

I once again wake covered in sweat and my heart racing from the nightmare. Looking at the clock I see I slept for just over three hours. Taking a few deep breaths I decide to head over the Kate's apartment. After that nightmare all I really want to do is take a long hot shower which is not possible here. I feel like I can still smell the alcohol on his breath and the stale cigarette smoke smell that followed him wherever he went. I shiver, I can still feel his hands on my back as he would hold me down to beat me.

I take the bus to Kate's apartment and immediately go into the bathroom. I turn the shower on has hot as it will go and stand under the water for what feels like hours. I scrub my entire body until my skin is bright red and I begin to feel clean. Only then do I begin to relax, I sit down and let the water cascade over my entire body. I relish in the peacefulness of Kate's apartment and the simple fact that I can take a long hot shower without someone barging at the door or having to scrub the shower clean before getting in. I begin to sob as I think about how something as simple as a hot shower can be taken for granted. _Can't one thing go right? Just as things begin to go well with Christian I lose the room I am renting. Can't I catch a break?_

I hear my cell phone alerting me to a text message which essentially puts an end to my pity party. I quickly wash my hair and get out of the shower. Glancing at my phone I see Kate has texted me asking when she can call the apartment. I texted her to give me 5 minutes and to call the apartment. I quickly thrown on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt before running to the kitchen to answer her phone.

"Ana! How are you?" Kate exclaims as I answer her phone.

"I'm good, Kate how are you? How are the Bahamas? I ask.

"Beautiful and warm" Kate answers. "What's wrong, you don't sound right?"

"Rough night at the apartment building last night" I lie. "I didn't sleep much at all last night; I might crash in your spare room for a couple of hours if you don't mind."

"Seriously, Ana you should just move in. Give your landlord notice and move into my spare room. You are the only one who uses it anyway! Besides, I could get used to your wonderful cooking!" Kate says.

"I'll talk with my landlord and see if I can get out of my lease" I answer not wanting to tell Kate that I'm being kicked out at the end of the month.

"Great! If you can get out of the lease before I get back, go ahead and move in. No point in you staying in a place that you can't get a decent night's sleep in because the neighbors are too loud! You have a key and you know Murray would love the company!" she says excitedly.

"You're right, he is sitting on my lap now" I respond laughing.

We chat for a while before ending the call so Kate can go sit by the pool. I begin to give her offer some serious thought. With the money I received from the scholarship plus the extra money from my Christmas bonus I could afford to give Kate a good amount towards rent each month. If she refuses to accept rent payment which I think she will since her parent's pays her rent every month then I decide I will pay for food and cook real meals for us most nights. I sit down and go over my budget to make sure it's financially possible before I commit to something. I don't want to mooch off of Kate therefore it's very important to me that I can afford to pay something every month. Being closer to campus would significantly reduce the amount I spend on bus passes every month. Kate's apartment is within walking distance to campus and to work so I would hardly need a bus pass at all.

I work a double tonight at the restaurant and learn that I am working on Christmas Eve but surprisingly I am off on New Year's Eve and scheduled to work the dinner shift on New Year's Day. Christian stops by for lunch which is the highlight of my day especially after the miserable night I had. I don't have time to talk with him as the restaurant is very busy today for some reason, but I still enjoy the couple minutes we have to chat. Christian asks me to call him tonight after my shift is over but I warn him it will be very late and instead ask if I can call him in the morning. He reluctantly agrees but tells me if I want I can still call him tonight because he will likely still be awake.

After dinner I take the bus back to the boarding house and collapse in my trying to warm up. The winter is definitely setting in for Seattle and the wait at the bus stop seems to have given me a permanent chill. On top of everything else, it seems in the house is barely working. Some of the common areas seem barely tolerable but my room is freezing. I asked around and it seems like all the rooms are this way and several residents reported it's like this all winter long. A couple have purchased space heaters but the advised me to hide it on the days that Mrs. Connor comes by as we are not permitted to have them per our lease. Everyone says she keeps the temperature set very low so she doesn't have to pay much for heat all winter.

"Ana?" Christian asks as he answers the phone.

"Did I wake you?" I ask.

"No, of course not" he answers, but I think he is lying because he sounds groggy.

"Sorry it's so late, I just got home" I say.

"No problem. How was the rest of your shift?" he asks.

"Busy" I say laughing. "I don't know if it was everyone shopping or what, but we were slammed all day today!"

"Well I bet that's good for you though" He says.

"It is and my lunch customer who previously gave me an obscene tip learned his lesson and tipped much more appropriately today" I state laughing.

"How dare he try to tip too much" He says giggling. "What are you doing for Christmas Eve?"

"Working" I answer. "We have two dinner times scheduled that day and we are booked solid."

"Oh" Christian says sadly. "What about Christmas day?"

"The restaurant is closed on Christmas thankfully" I answer.

"Would you like to have dinner with me on Christmas?" Christian asks.

"I'd love to" I answer glad to have someone to spend the day with.

"Great! I will pick you around three if that's okay?" he asks.

"Sure, that's fine" I answer.

"You will have to text me your address so I know where to meet you" he says.

"Oh yeah" I pause. "You can pick me up at Kate's, I am moving in with her."

"Really?" Christian says surprised.

"Yeah, I talked to her about it today when she called and decided a few minutes ago to give my landlord notice that I am leaving at the end of the month. I will probably end up moving out earlier though" I answered.

"What sparked this? Is everything okay where you are now?" he asks worried.

"Yes….no" I answer.

"What do you mean? Is everything okay? Do you need me to come pick you up?" Christian asks clearly concerned.

"No, I'm fine Christian. It's nothing like that" I answer quickly. "Remember our date the other night?"

"Of course, how I could forget?" Christian responds.

"A couple days later my landlord calls me and says that someone reported I came home the night of our date drunk and stumbling all over the place. She says it was reported that I woke up several other people in the building because I was so drunk" I explain.

"But you weren't drunk!" Christian exclaims.

"I know" I say sighing. "I also never went home that night; I spent the night at Kate's and didn't come home until after dinner the next day."

"Then the person who complained was obviously mistaken" Christian says. "They must have the wrong person."

"That's what I said too" I respond. "But then she described the dress I wore on our date perfectly. I didn't wear the dress on Thursday when I went back to the building so I can't explain how someone is saying they saw me in the dress and that I was drunk. I only bought the dress Wednesday afternoon with Kate and I dressed at her apartment."

"That doesn't make sense" Christian says angrily.

"I know," I respond. "But my landlord decided to end my lease at the end of the money anyway as it's a violation of my lease to cause a disruption to the other residents like that. Then I came home tonight from working to find the heat is set very low and everyone says it's like this all winter. That was the last straw and I decided to move in with Kate."

"Will you be okay there tonight? Maybe I should come and get you? I don't like the idea of you sleeping in the cold" Christian says.

"I will be fine, Christian. It's late and in the morning I'm going to pack up some things and take them to Kate's apartment" I said.

"I will come over in the morning to help you" Christian says.

"No!" I respond quickly. "I only have a few things Christian that won't be necessary."

"At least promise you will call me if you need help? Maybe I can bring dinner over to Kate's tomorrow night?" Christian asks.

"That would be nice" I say yawning.

"Go to sleep Ana, you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow" Christian says.

"Good night" I say.

"Dream of me" he says hanging up.

**Christian's POV:**

I end the call with Ana frustrated and angry. How could someone insist that she was drunk Wednesday night? She was with me for dinner and barely finished her second glass of wine; there was no way she was drunk. I dropped her off at Kate's apartment after dinner and watched her walk into the building before Taylor drove away. Taylor had arranged for someone to follow Ana and they were able to start Wednesday night, we met Sawyer that evening a block from Kate's apartment. Sawyer sent a report to Taylor the next morning confirming that Ana did not leave Kate's apartment all night and later confirmed that she returned to the boarding home after dinner on Thursday. There was no way she was stumbling around the boarding home drunk on Wednesday night. But the person described her black dress perfectly.

Elaina.

She is the only person who could be behind this. She saw Ana with me Wednesday night at the Harbor View Inn and is the only person who saw Ana's dress besides Kate and Taylor. She was pissed that I dismissed her earlier in the day and then again at the restaurant. There is no one else that would want to hurt Ana. I see red as my anger begins to boil. I fire off an email to Roz telling her to immediately consolidate our shares in Esclava Salon. As a payback to Elaina for loaning me money when I dropped out of Harvard, I had provided her with the funds to open several successful salons that I remain a silent partner in. I tell Roz to liquidate my shares and then I send legal an email telling them to gift the salons to Elaina.

_To: Elaina_

_From: Christian_

_Subject: Esclava Salon, Inc._

_Elaina,_

_As of 12/31 we will no longer be business partners as I am liquidating my shares of Esclava Salon. My legal team is drafting the necessary paperwork to gift you these shares._

_If you need to discuss this issue further please contact Andrea at my office and we will schedule a time to speak with my legal department._

_Christian Grey  
CEO, Grey Enterprises_

I barely sleep as I am still furious over Elaina and I dread the thought of Ana spending the night in a cold room by herself. I worry that she doesn't have enough blankets to keep her warm and barely stop myself from going to her in the middle of the night and holding her so she stays warm. When I wake only a couple of hours later I fire an email to the city commissioner who is a friend of my parents and sits on several charity boards with my mother. I ask him to look into the heating situation in the boarding home that Ana resides in and I alert him that it is reported that the landlord keeps the thermostat at a very low temperature to save money. I request that the licensing board pay a surprise visit on an evening where the weather is predicted to be cold.

"Taylor!" I call as I see him exit the staff quarters.

"Yes sir" Taylor answers.

"Ms. Steele has decided to move out of the boarding home today, I want to go provide assistance to her" I say.

"Of course sir. We can take the SUV or do you think she will need a small truck?" Taylor asks surprised.

"I think the SUV will be fine" I answer.

"Mr. Grey sir if I may interrupt" Gail says walking into the kitchen. "I could pack some breakfast to bring along to Ms. Steele if you would like. Maybe some coffee and fresh cinnamon rolls?"

"Wonderful idea Gail! She doesn't like coffee though, so if you could provide hot tea in a thermos that would be perfect. And a few water bottles as well" I say. "I'm going to shower, Taylor let's leave in thirty minutes."

"Yes sir" Taylor responds heading to the security office.

Taylor and I head to the house where Ana rents a room in silence. I don't know what she is going to think about me showing up but there is no way I could allow her to move by herself. I know she will be ashamed and maybe embarrassed about me seeing her living situation but I don't care. Her safety and comfort is all that matters to me. It becomes clear to me when we are approaching the area near her residence as the scenery takes on a different look. There are more boarding up homes and business fronts most of which are spray painted, garbage is laying everywhere and there are broken beer bottles all over the road.

"Taylor?" I ask.

"A couple more blocks sir" he answers.

"Taylor?" I ask again. "Welsh said this was a slightly better area than the last place she rented?"

"Yes sir" Taylor answers.

A few minutes later, Taylor parks the car and opens my door. We are about a few houses away but this was the closest parking spot. We meet up with Sawyer who states that Ana has not yet left the building but that several unknown residents have come and gone throughout the night from the building. We stand in front of the three story brick building that has bars on the windows of the ground floor. I am somewhat relieved when Sawyer tells us that Ana's room is on the second floor. I nervously take out my blackberry and call Ana; I have no idea how she is going to react.

"Good morning Christian" Ana answers the phone happily.

"Good morning beautiful" I say. "Can you come outside for a minute?"

"Huh? What do you mean come outside?" Ana asks.

"Please come outside and you will see."


	13. Chapter 12 Reposted in corrected order

_Author's Note: My first lemon is in this chapter; it's small but it's still a start! Would love feedback on how you thought I did. I've never written scenes like this before so I would appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you for your continued support and encouragement. And a special thanks to the reader who alerted me to the error in chapter 9-I have fixed the error and re uploaded the chapter. If you already read chapter 9, there is no need to reread it. I literally changed one word._

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy._

**Chpt. 12: Ana's POV**

I wake up the next morning exhausted; I barely slept all night. The room was pretty cold even though I slept in heavy pajamas and buried under all the blankets. Unfortunately, all the blankets consisted of two blankets and a sheet none of which are very warm. I make my way to the bathroom and wait in line to get a couple minutes to wash up in the sink quickly before heading back to my room to pack up my belongings. I will call Kate later today to let her know that I'm moving in and sooner than planned. When we talked yesterday she said it was fine to move in while she was gone; hopefully she meant it.

"Good morning Christian!" I say surprised that he is calling me this early.

"Good morning beautiful" Christian replies, making me blush. "Can you come outside for a minute?"

"Huh? What do you mean come outside?" I ask nervously.

"Please come outside and you will see" he says and hangs up.

I sit on my bed and take a few deep breaths before leaving the room. _Why is he here? What will he think of where I live? What will he say? What will I say? _ I go back to my room and sit on the bed again. I start counting and put my head between my knees. I need to get my anxiety under control before I have a panic attack which I don't need Christian seeing. _Screw it! If he doesn't like where I live, tough! Not everyone can make millions of dollars a year and have everything they want. This was better than a homeless shelter and I did it by myself. If he doesn't like it, oh well he can just leave. _

"Christian?" I say walking outside.

"Hey gorgeous" Christian says cautiously approaching me and giving me a hug.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"We came to help you move" Christian says.

"We?" I ask.

"Taylor and an SUV" Christian answers. "You said last night you wanted to move your stuff to Kate's apartment and I couldn't bear the thought of you doing it by yourself so I came to help. Please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad" I sigh. "Well you might as well come see where I live. There's not much to get so it shouldn't take very long."

I unlock the front door allowing Christian and Taylor to follow me into the entry way. We walk through the living room where there are several residents sleeping on the coach or laying on the floor. Continuing through the kitchen where dishes and garbage from the night before are still all over the counters and in the sink. Thankfully I can say I have never used the kitchen here before for this very reason. We walk up the narrow stairwell stepping around people sitting on steps talking on their phones and down the long hallway to my room. I unlock the door and allow Christian and Taylor to come in. I realize these are the only people who have ever been in one of the rooms I rented.

"I was just starting to pack up when you called" I explained. "These 2 bags are ready to go, this microwave goes and then I just need to throw a few things in another bag and that should be it."

"No problem Ms. Steele, I will take these to the car" Taylor says taking my overnight and school bags.

"Christian, can you hold open this bag?" I ask handing him a black garbage bag.

He looks at me confused but holds the bag. His look of confusion changes to surprise which he quickly covers as he sees me throw a few items of clothing, my blankets and pillow into the garbage bag. I hand him another bag and toss in the last few items before glancing around the room to insure I have everything.

"That's everything" I say as Taylor reappears.

"Ana, do you need anything else?" Christian asks.

"Nope, that's everything" I say sadly realizing everything I own just fit into the back of a small SUV.

"If you're hungry Gail, my housekeeper, has packed us a small breakfast that we can eat on the way to Kate's" Christian says.

"I'm starving" I say with a smile.

We have a breakfast consisting of fruit, cinnamon rolls and hot tea while Taylor drives us to Kate's apartment. While I still wish Taylor and Christian did not see where I lived, I am thankful nonetheless that they came to help this morning. Taking everything on a bus is never easy and Kate lives a couple blocks from the bus station. I probably would have had to leave the microwave behind again because there would be no way I could carry it.

"Sir, ma'am we have arrived" Taylor says as the car comes to a stop.

"Taylor, enough with the ma'am crap!" I say laughing. "It's Ana."

"Yes ma-I mean Ana" Taylor says smiling.

Just as quickly as the SUV was loaded, it was unloaded and everything was moved into Kate's spare bedroom. Christian assists me in unpacking my bags and putting the few food items I have in the kitchen. I make a mental note to find a nearby grocery store and go food shopping later today. Between the shelters and boarding homes I have only ever kept a few food items on hand since there was always the risk that it would be stolen. Now that I'm staying with Kate I can stock up on items even before she returns and even make dinner for myself.

"Ana?" Christian asks walking back into the kitchen.

"Oh sorry," I answer. "I sort of zoned out there. I didn't sleep much last night."

"Me neither" Christian admits. "I couldn't stop worrying about you."

"Worrying about me?" I ask surprised.

"Yes" Christian answers. "I kept worrying that you were cold and then I worried about you moving everything by yourself. I know you don't have a car and taking all this on the bus can't be easy."

"Nope, it's not" I say laughing. "I've done it a few times and I look like a bag lady. It's worse if you have to take everything on a crowded bus."

"How about we grab some lunch?" Christian asks.

"Sure, that would be great" I answer.

Christian takes my hand and helps me off the couch. As I stand up we are face to face and I feel my breath hitch. I quickly put my arms around his neck and kiss him trying to show him with the kiss how much I appreciate him not saying anything about my living situation and just helping me move. Christian moans as I move my hands to the back of his head. Christian's hands go to my waist which seems like his go to spot whenever we kiss I realize. We quickly fall to the couch with Christian landing almost on top of me as we laugh while still kissing. Christian gets more comfortable and holds his weight up with one arm while caressing my face with his other hand. He sucks on my lower lip and I can feel his erection against my thigh which makes me moan again. His hand finds my breast making me gasp; he gently teases my nipple until it is rock hard. I moan again into his mouth just as his gently bites down on my lip. Christian quickly moves us again, this time so we are laying side by side on the couch. His hand hasn't left my breast and his lips haven't left mine. Becoming more confident I put my leg on top of his just as he pushes his erection ever so slightly against me. We both moan at the same time with this new feeling. Christian's hand moves ever slowly up my shift until he pulls my breast from the bra.

"Ana" Christian says breathless. "Is this okay?"

"Yes" I respond.

Christian moans again and continues to gently rub his erection against my clit bringing a completely new sensation to my body. I find myself moaning and pushing back against his erection when he moves away. Christian must know what he is doing because just when I think I can't take anymore he lifts my shirt up and takes my nipple in his mouth. I tug on his hair and push him closer to my breast. He sucks and then gently bites my nipple as he holds my hip tightly continuing to apply pressure to my clit.

"Christian" I gasp trying to make sense of all these new feelings. I have never experienced anything remotely close to this.

"I got you baby" Christian whispers against my breast before tugging my nipple a little harder with his teeth which sends me over the edge.

I hear Christian moan as he pushes against my clit harder a few times and then he suddenly tenses up for a moment before letting a deep breath out.

"Are you okay?" Christian asks pulling my shirt back down and kissing me.

"More than okay" I answer shyly. "Are you?"

"Oh yeah" Christian says smiling. "I can't say I've ever done that before."

"Done what?" I ask. Clearly he has made out with a girl before I think. Someone as hot has he is must have hundreds a girl.

"Had an orgasm just from making out with a woman" Christian says reaching down to kiss me further.

We cuddle on the couch for a while and eventually I fall asleep in Christian's arms. I don't know what it was but I woke up a little while later feeling completely refreshed almost as if I had slept for eight straight hours. I wake up to find my head resting on his chest and his arm wrapped gently around my shoulders.

"How long was I out?" I ask looking shyly up at Christian.

"Almost two hours" Christian says kissing me on the top of the head.

"Two hours?" I ask shocked. "I am so sorry! I'm sure you had other things to do this afternoon! You should have woken me!"

"Ana, calm down" Christian answers. "It's fine. I didn't have anything to do that couldn't wait. I couldn't think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon."

"I'm going to grab a glass of water, would you like anything?" I ask standing up from the couch.

"Water would be fine" Christian says sitting up and grabbing his blackberry off the coffee table. "I will just be a moment…I need to respond to a few emails."

"Take your time" I respond handing Christian his glass of water.

I flip through a couple magazines Kate had left on the coffee table while Christian checks his email. I am really enjoying spending today with Christian and still cannot believe how comfortable I am with him. There is just something about him that makes me feel safe whenever he is around. I decide to cook him and Taylor dinner tonight as a thank you for helping me move today and spending the entire day with me. The only problem with my plan is that I have no food here to cook and Kate barely keeps anything in the house.

"Christian?" I ask.

"Oh, sorry I'm just about finished" Christian says tapping a button on his phone before putting it down.

"That's okay. Is Taylor still here?" I ask.

"No, he went home but will come back when I need him, why?" Christian answers.

"Oh I was going to make you both dinner tonight" I say. "But I realized I have no food here so I will need to make a quick trip to a grocery store."

"That's okay, we can go out somewhere" Christian responds.

"No" I state firmly. "I want to cook you dinner; let me do something for you today since you helped me move. Can you find out where a grocery store is nearby? If not, I could call Kate and ask her I suppose."

"Taylor, I need your help" Christian says into his phone.

"Can you find me a grocery store nearby" Christian says.

"Yes a grocery store" he repeats rolling his eyes.

"Good, thanks" he says hanging up. "Taylor is texting me the name and address of a grocery store nearby. He says it's within walking distance of here."

"Perfect" I reply. "I'm thinking of making a vegetable lasagna with garlic bread, unless you prefer something else?"

"No, that's sounds delicious" Christian says grabbing his coat as we walk out the door.

Taylor was right, the grocery store is within two blocks of Kate's apartment. Well I guess it is technically my apartment too; it's going to take me awhile to get used to that idea. I haven't lived in a place all of my own since I ran away at 16; since then it's been shelters and boarding rooms.

"Christian?" I ask as we approach the grocery store.

"Hmmm?" Christian answers.

"How did you know where I lived today?" I ask realizing he showed up this morning and I never gave him my address.

"Don't be mad" he says quietly. "Taylor and my head of security information at GEH look it up after you told me you needed to move last night."

"I see" I say unsure of what to think about what he just told me.

"I'm sorry, but I knew you wouldn't give me the address if I asked but I really wanted to help you move today" Christian replies quickly.

"That's okay. Let's get what we need for dinner" I say grabbing a cart.

We go through a few aisles quickly finding everything I need for lasagna, garlic bread and a side salad. We scan the wine selection but Christian says there is a liquor store nearby that has a better selection to go with dinner. We get to the register where we have a minor argument about who is paying for dinner before Christian reluctantly agrees to let me pay. I try to explain to him that this dinner is my way of thanking him for helping today but he doesn't see what paying for the groceries has to do with that. He says my cooking the meal is enough but I disagree.

"Since you insisted on buying the groceries" Christian says, "I am insisting on buying the wine."

"That sounds fair, although I could argue since the wine is for dinner that I should buy it" I say smirking at him.

"Nonsense, I plan on having a glass while you're making dinner therefore the wine is not only for dinner" Christian says smiling.

We walk a block further, finding a liquor store where Christian picked out two bottles of wine that he said would complement the lasagna. Honestly I know absolutely nothing about wine let alone what kind would taste good with lasagna. Christian being the gentleman that he is insists on carrying the grocery bags back to the apartment, refusing to let me carry even one bag. We get back to the apartment and set everything on the breakfast bar as I go through Kate's cabinets finding a pan and a cutting board.

"What can I do to help?" Christian asks.

"Nothing" I answer. "I told you, I'm making you dinner."

"At least let me do something, I can't just sit here and watch" Christian says.

"Okay, how about you cut the peppers up?" I say realizing I'm not going to win this argument.

"I think I can manage that" Christian says.

As I begin preparing the noodles and sauce I check on Christian who is very slowly starting to cut the second half of the first pepper I gave him. I laugh to myself realizing this man has probably never cut a pepper in his life.

"Something funny Ana?" Christian asks.

"Yes, you" I answer.

"Me? I can assure you most people in my office would strongly disagree with you" he replies.

"Have you ever cut up vegetables?" I ask.

"Um, no" He says shyly. "Gail does all the cooking and if she isn't available she always sees that there is food in the fridge that I can heat up quickly. "

"Here, let me show you had to cut the pepper properly" I say demonstrating for him.

We finish cutting the remaining vegetables and Christian helps lay out the lasagna in the pan. We sit on the couch each with a glass of wine as we wait for the lasagna to cook. The garlic bread is prepared and ready to go into the oven when the lasagna is almost finished cooking. The salad is in the fridge; I will serve the salad just as I put the garlic bread in the oven.

"Did your mom teach you how to cook?" Christian asks.

"No, " I answer laughing. "My mother couldn't cook anything beyond hot dogs and boxed macaroni and cheese. My father loved to cook and when he was home he would always let me help in the kitchen. My mom's second husband was a cook and he taught me how to make most of the dishes where he worked."

"Where did you grow up?" Christian asks.

"We moved around a lot when I was little" I answer. "Before my dad died we lived in Pennsylvania where he grew up. From there my mother moved me to North Carolina, New Jersey, New York very briefly, Florida, Texas and California."

"Wow, that's a lot of moving" Christian says. "How did you end up in Seattle?"

"College" I answer vaguely. The conversation is starting to get too personal too fast I realize. "Where did you grow up?"

"Just outside of Seattle in Bellevue mostly" he explains. "But I was born in Detroit which is where my parents adopted me from. Then my mother landed her dream job in Seattle so we moved when I was 6 and my parents still live in the same house."

"That sounds nice" I say realizing his childhood is almost a complete opposite of mine.

"It was…you will get to see the house on Christmas for dinner" Christian replies.

"Wait…what?" I ask confused.

"Yes, remember we are having dinner together on Christmas Day since you are not working?" Christian asks.

"Yes I remember that" I answer. "I just didn't realize it would be at your parent's house."

"Don't worry about it, my parents will love you" Christian says obviously sensing my nervousness.

"Let's hope so" I say quietly.

"Hey, seriously don't worry about it. You know Elliot and he will be there of course and you've already met my parents. You just haven't met my sister Mia yet" Christian replies.

"Are you sure they won't mind? I feel like I'm imposing it being Christmas and all" I ask.

"No you won't be imposing at all" Christian answers. "My mom makes a big thing over Christmas breakfast which has always strictly been family only. Christmas eve and Christmas morning are very important to her. Christmas dinner while still important is less a family event and usually there are other people joining us for dinner. "

"If you're sure it won't bother your parents" I say sighing.

"Why are worried about it? I told you my parents will love you" He asks.

"Christian" I answer taking a deep breath. "It's obvious you and I come from very different worlds; I just worry I won't fit in or live up to your parent's expectations for a girl that you bring home."

"Ana, look at me" Christian says, lifting my face so he can see my eyes. "My family is not like that at all. My parents have been very fortunate with their careers but they have always made sure each of us had a level head growing up. My family will just be happy that I finally brought someone home and they don't have any expectations of who I should bring home. Don't think so little of yourself, you are a college student who is about to graduate and head into the real world. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"I suppose" I say sighing.

"I'm serious Ana" Christian says taking a deep breath. "I don't want to go into details right now, my childhood before Grace rescued me was not the greatest to say the least. When I say that Grace rescued me, I truly mean that in every way possible. Some day when we both trust each other a little more I hope that we can exchange stories, but for right now just know that our worlds were not always that different."

I am stunned at what he just told me. I knew he was adopted but I assumed he was adopted as an infant and had a wonderful childhood.

"I guess we don't really know much about each other" I say.

"Not right now" Christian agrees. "But I hope over time we will."

"Me too" I say leaning over kissing him.

_Bing_

"Time to put the garlic bread in the oven" I say pulling away just before our kiss turned into something more.

"Would you like some help?" he asks.

"I thought we could have the salad while the lasagna and bread finish; it should only be about ten more minutes. Do you want to take the salad out and set the table?" I ask.

"Sure" Christian says.

We enjoy a nice quiet dinner discussing our plans for the upcoming week. Christian says he will be flying to New York for a business meeting and invites me to come along but unfortunately I am already scheduled to work at the restaurant. As much as I would love to go with him, I can't call out on Antonio the week of Christmas. I work almost every day this week including a double on Christmas Eve but really don't mind since classes haven't started back up yet and I don't have very much to do otherwise.

"Thank you for a delicious dinner Ana" Christian says as he helps me clean up the kitchen and put away the leftovers.

"I'm glad you liked it, thank you again for helping me move today" I reply.

"I should probably get going, I have a big meeting tomorrow morning that I need to finish review a report for" Christian says taking out his phone and I assume texting Taylor to ask him to pick him up.

"Sure, no problem. I didn't mean to keep you from your work" I say.

"I would much rather spend the day with you than spend the day reading reports for a meeting tomorrow morning. I know you're working all week but I hope we can find time to do lunch or dinner before I see you on Christmas. I will warn you though it will be difficult to schedule though since I will be in New York for two days" Christian explains.

"Text me when you think you have time and I will see what my work schedule is that day. Christmas eve definitely won't work because I work a double but right now that is the only day I am scheduled to work all day" I say.

"Do you have email? Sometimes it's easier for me to respond through email depending on what I'm doing my phone isn't always available" Christian asks.

"I have an account but I don't regularly check it except when I can get to campus and use the computer lab" I answer.

"Right" he says. "I will be sure to look for texts from you then."

"Good night Christian" I say kissing him good bye.

"Night Ana" Christian says closing the door behind him.


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's Note: Again, I cannot apologize enough for the mistake in chapters. They are now posted in the corrected order. If you have not already done so, please go back and read chapter 12 which was originally not published. Chapter 13 is the old chapter 12 and makes more sense if you read chapter 12 first. My sincere apologies for this oversight!_

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy. _

**Chpt. 14: Ana's POV**

The next few days fly by and I end up working more hours than I originally was scheduled for because we are busier than normal and Antonio needed extra help. Christian and I talk every night usually for at least an hour sometimes even longer. He insists I call him after work no matter how late I get home and I have to admit it's nice having someone to talk every day especially since I don't get to talk to Kate much. We were finally able to talk yesterday after constantly missing each other the last couple of days. She was beyond ecstatic when I told her I had moved in and as I thought said she didn't mind that I moved in while she was gone. She will be home in a couple of days earlier as her and Elliot want to spend New Year's together.

_Lunch today? –C_

_Sure, I don't have to be at work until 3 –A_

_There's a place near my office, I will send Taylor to pick you up around 11:30 –C_

_I can take a bus –A_

_Taylor will pick you up at 11:30 –C_

I give up arguing with him and agree to let Taylor pick me up for lunch. Although I haven't know Christian very long it's clear he likes to control certain things which shouldn't surprise me since he is a CEO of a large company. I finish putting away my laundry before getting into the shower since Taylor will be here to pick me up in about an hour. It's been really nice staying at the apartment instead of renting a room or staying at the shelter. Something as simple as doing laundry can easily be taken for granted until you have to walk blocks to a laundromat and wait for a free machine. I've done some more grocery shopping since the initial trip with Christian the day I moved in. I've made a few larger meals that I freeze and heat up before or after my shift at work.

_Buzz_

"Yes?" I say into the intercom.

"Ms. Steele, it's Taylor" he responds.

"I will be down in a moment Taylor" I say grabbing my jacket and a purse I borrowed from Kate's closet.

"Ms. Steele" Taylor nods and holds the door on the car open.

"Mr. Taylor" I say just as formally.

"It's just Taylor" he says.

"It's just Ana" I reply and giggling.

I see Taylor smile as he walks around the car to get into the driver's seat. He is obviously former military and I suppose old habits die hard. It's obvious that Christian is very formal with Taylor and I imagine he must be this way with all his employees. I suppose having so many people working for you changes the way you interact with most people. Having Taylor call me ma'am or Ms. Steele just makes me feel old and is too formal in my opinion. Since I am not Taylor's boss I don't see an issue with him calling me Ana.

"Ana, it's so nice to see you again" Christian says as meets me outside a restaurant that really wasn't that far from the apartment.

"I've missed you" I say quietly as I kiss him hello.

"Really?" He says surprised.

"Of course" I answer. "I know we've talked every day at least once but I have missed not seeing you since Sunday."

"I've missed you too Ana" Christian says as we sit down. "I'm sorry I've been so busy this week. Sometimes things at work get hectic right before a merger goes through."

"Is that what you are working on right now?" I ask.

"The paperwork was signed for a company that we acquired a few weeks ago and just as we wrapped that take over up we were approached by another company for a possible merger. That is why I'm flying to New York tomorrow" He explains.

"Wow" I say surprised at how much he has on his plate. "How will your company manage an office in New York?"

"Good question" Christian begins to explain just as our waitress stops by to take our order. "That is one of the logistics I need to work out when I am there tomorrow. If the company needs significant oversight we will either need to move the company to Seattle or set up a team to work in New York if the need is only temporary. Occasionally the companies I take over need more financial guidance whereas other companies need a complete management overall. Take my last acquisition for example, the company was facing bankruptcy within a year if they didn't sell. The reason they were in such financial trouble was because the management team was stuck in their ways and didn't want to follow the growth of technology which was clearly the direction their industry was moving in."

"I see" I say trying to take in everything he just said. "It makes sense though. If you don't move forward you will be left behind, however I'm sure change can be difficult for some people. I'm guessing since you don't have the emotional connection with the company or that industry specifically it's easier for you to identify the problem and solutions to resolve it."

"Exactly!" Christian says smiling. "Usually when I try to explain what I do to people who are not in the same line of work it goes over their head. Elliot for example doesn't get it no matter how many times I explain it. But when it comes to the construction industry he is on top of all the trends; for example in all the building he works on for me he finds ways to be more environmental friendly."

Christian spends much of our lunch discussing his work on different projects and his trip to New York tomorrow. I am surprised to hear that he is literally flying to New York to spend a few hours there before flying back the next morning. He explains that he tried to address the issues by conference call but that there are times when he needs to see things for himself before he can make a decision. He says he will try to call or text me over the next two days but that it will probably be difficult because of the time difference. We likely will not see each other until Christmas Day given our conflicting schedules.

We say goodbye before Christian returns to his office and Taylor drives me back to the apartment. I try to come up with something to get Christian for Christmas. We have been seeing each other, if that's what we are really doing, for a month or so now but I'm not sure what to get him. What do you get a man who has enough money to buy anything he wants? I send Kate a text before leaving for work to see if she has any ideas.

On my way to work I pass a used book store that I hadn't noticed was there before. I have a few minutes to spare so I decide to stop in and before I realize it I was in there for more than half an hour. Just as I'm about to leave I see the perfect gift for Christian; a book called _Cooking for dummies_. I laugh remembering him trying to cut up peppers last weekend and his confession that he really doesn't cook at all. I still need something to go with the book, but I don't have any other time to look today as I'm already ten minutes late to work. Luckily Antonio is not mad and the restaurant isn't overly busy as I punch in and start my shift.

"Good Afternoon, can I get you something to drink?" I ask approaching my first table.

"Yes," a voice I recognize says. "I want a glass of your finest white wine; don't give me any of the cheap crap-make sure it's only the finest."

"Yes ma'am" I say turning towards her companion. "For you sir?"

"He will have a Bacardi rum and coke" she answers for him.

"I will be back shortly" I say returning to the kitchen.

"Hi Ana! How are you?" Susan, one of the other waitresses for tonight asks.

"It was good until I took my first table" I answer.

"What happened?" Susan asks.

"I had this customer once before and she was the worst. She is just very rude and acts like she is better than everyone else. Last time she tipped me 92 cents for dinner even though she had no complaints about the food!" I explain.

"How horrible!" Susan says. "If you need back up just yell. I got your back Ana."

"Thanks Susan" I say laughing before I head to the bar.

"Hey Ana" Mark, the bartender tonight says.

"Hi Mark" I respond. "I have a request for the finest white wine we have and the customer has made it clear money is not a concern. Suggestions?"

"Yes, I have the perfect wine for her" Mark says walking across the bar to find a bottle on the very back of a shelf. "Not too many people are aware of this wine but it is the best white one we have here. The price is $16.50 per glass."

"Wow, she better like it for that price" I say smiling.

"Your drinks ma'am" I say approaching the table. "Our bartender has assured me that this is the finest white wine that we have here."

"Good" Ms. Blonde bitch says.

"Are you ready to order or would you like a few moments?" I ask.

"No we are ready" she answers. "I will have the seafood special tonight over linguini. He will have the steak special with shrimp. That will be all."

I return to the kitchen to place the order before checking on the other tables in my section. I shouldn't be surprised that Ms. Blonde bitch has returned especially after seeing me out with Christian last week. I can't help but wonder about her history with Christian; he explained that they were business partners but the way she looks at him makes me wonder if she doesn't have feelings for him. She is easily twice his age though which doesn't make sense. Although the gentleman with her again tonight is very young so she must have a thing for younger guys, I think.

The rest of the night goes smoothly and surprisingly Ms. Blonde Bitch doesn't give me any problems. Once again she leaves me a handful of lose change as a tip but I am happy when she leaves. I decide to head to the mall tomorrow after my lunch shift to see what I can find for Christian. I am really stuck as to what else to get him but I hope that walking around the mall I will find something. Kate reassures me that no matter what I get Christian he will likely it which I'm sure is but still doesn't help me figure out what to get him.

I return back to the apartment and relish in the short walk it is home. It's been nice not having to rely on the bus schedule get places on time or having to stand outside in the cold waiting for the bus to arrive. I heat up some left over lasagna and watch tv before heading to bed.

_"Hey slut! Why aren't you in school?" He yells walking out of his bedroom._

_"Today is Saturday" I answer._

_"No, it's not. Today is Wednesday stupid! You are late for school" He yells._

_"Today is Saturday" I repeat pointing to the calendar. _

_"No it's not. I have to work on Thursday; I haven't worked yet so it can't be Saturday" he says staring at the calendar on the wall._

_"Today is Saturday" I again repeat._

_"Stop talking back to me bitch! That can't be right!" He yells._

_"Rick…" he says calling someone on his phone._

_"No! That's not possible!" He yells into the phone before tossing it against the wall. _

_The phone shatters into dozens of pieces and falls to the floor. He stares at me with the look of pure anger in his eyes. I can tell he is going to beat me again; it's the same look he gets every time he beats me. My mom has been gone for a couple of days so I know screaming for her won't help._

_"Get into your room slut!" He yells._

_"I didn't do anything" I say, still sitting at the table._

_"Didn't do anything?" he yells. "That's the problem. You didn't wake me up and I lost another job because of you! You are a worthless piece of shit! I don't know why your mother insists on keeping you here! Now I said go to your room!"_

_"Please, I didn't do anything" I beg. "I didn't know you needed to be up on Thursday for work. I promise it won't happen again." _

_"You're right; it won't happen again because after today you will learn to never forget to do something I ask!" He yells grabbing my shirt and throwing me onto the floor._

_I don't bother to argue with him; I learned a long time ago when he is like this it's not worth it. He would never believe me if I told him he never asked me to wake him for a job. Nor would he believe me if I told him that he got so drunk he slept through the last 3 days. He grabs my ponytail and pulls me to the coffee table in the living room. He pulls me my chest onto the coffee table so I am kneeling on the floor and my chest is resting on the table. _

_He yanks my sweat pants down and I immediately freeze. He has never pulled my pants down before; he has never hit me in just my underwear. I find myself wishing for him to pull up my sweatpants to at least provide a small amount of cushion. My cotton underwear will do nothing to absorb the beating I'm sure. _

_"God your ass is going to look beautiful tonight" He says as the first hit of the belt comes down. _

_I scream in pain but he just laughs. The belt continues to come down over and over again until I lose count the number of times he has hit me. After what feels like forever, he finally stops hitting me and I begin to think he is finished. _

_"Don't move or I swear I will kill you" He says before walking to his room. _

_I don't move; I'm too afraid to move. My butt is on fire and the pain begins to intensify as the adrenaline rush seems to wear off. I hear his boots before I see him coming down the hallway and I immediately tense up again as fear comes over me. He has a thick wooden cane in his hand and I immediately fear what is about to come. _

_"Please don't" I whisper. _

_"Next time you will remember to do as you're told, won't you?" He asks bringing the cane down hard on my butt._

_"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream. The cane hurts ten times more than the belt did and my skin is already so sensitive from the initial beating._

_"I asked you a question, Bitch!" He says bringing the cane down again, this time hitting my lower back._

_"HHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMM" I scream. _

_"What was that?" He asks hitting me again._

_"I won't forget" I barely get out before the cane comes down hard on my back._

_The beating goes on for what feels like forever before the room goes black once again. I don't know how long I am out for but when I wake I am tied to my bed with duct tape. I panic initially and start screaming. When no one answers and I hear no sounds I realize that either he left or is passed out drunk somewhere. My sweatpants were pulled back on at least and I realize a note is on my dresser:_

_DON'T MOVE – I WENT TO GET YOU A PRESENT_

_Fear grips me and I start pulling against the duct tape. Eventually I manage to free one of my hands and use it to unravel the duct tape on my other wrist. I grab my book bag and an overnight bag, throwing a few clothes I can find into it before slowly opening the door. I don't see him anywhere and decide this is it. I gently close the front door behind me just incase he is still inside and make a run for it._

_End flashback_

I wake up covered in sweat, my throat sore from obvious screaming. It's been over a week since my last nightmare and this one was worst the rest. This was the last time he beat me and he did a number on me. I still have scars from the belt beatings but the cane beating took the longest to heal. I can still feel the pain that I felt for months following that beating. The cane must have bruised my back muscles, my hip or something because whenever I would walk or move too quickly I would have pain radiating through my back and legs. I left that day and have never spoken to him or my mother again. I could never forgive her for letting him beat me over and over again.

I get out of bed quickly and find myself on the bathroom floor throwing up into the toilet. This used to happen every time I had a nightmare but it hasn't happened in probably a year or more now. Once my stomach settles down, I crawl over to the shower and turn the water on. Stripping myself of my clothes, I take a look in the mirror at all the scars. The ones near the middle of my back are very faint and can only be scene in the right lighting. The scars closer to my waist line are much more distinct and noticeable. The scars continue down to the bottom of my butt nearing the top of my thighs. There are a few scars on the backs of my thighs but they are faint like the ones in the middle of my back. There are a few deeper scars around my hips which are across between scars from the belt and scars from the cane.

I sigh and climb into the shower letting the water cover my entire body. I sit on the tub floor with my head between my knees as the water cascades over my body. I try to get my mind off the nightmare and begin thinking about the trip to the mall to find Christian and Kate a Christmas gift after my lunch shift today. I make a list of possible ideas for both of them and decide to check out Kate's closet as she suggested the other night when we talked and I told her about dinner at Christian's parents' house this week. Slowly my breathing returns to normal and my stomach starts to settle down further. I finish my shower and wrap a robe around me before getting dressed. I check my phone and see that I have a voice mail from Antonio stating he does not need me to come in today as the reservations are fewer than originally anticipated. Since I have been taking on so many extra shifts over the last couple of weeks I don't mind much not working today. I put the tea water on before heading back to my room to get dressed. I decide against eating anything until I come back from shopping since I don't know what my stomach can handle.

I take my cup of tea and head to the bus stop which comes just as I arrive at the station. A few minutes later I arrive at mall and begin walking around trying to find something for Kate and Christian. Just as I walk into a small shop my phone alerts me to a text message.

_About to take off to New York –C_

_Have a safe trip –A_

_I will miss you. –C_

_Me too –A_

I quickly find a gift for Kate which fits her personality very well. Kate is relatively easy to shop for I discover. A walk through the mall further but decide to stop and get something to eat when my stomach growls. I grab a hot pretzel and a bottle of water before sitting down to eat. I text Kate to see how the Bahamas are but she doesn't respond. I'm looking forward to Kate returning home from the Bahamas and having someone to talk to it the apartment besides Murray. As I eat lunch I hear a piano start to hear someone play a piano nearby and I immediately know what I'm going to get Christian for Christmas.

_Is your laptop still at the apartment? –A_

_Yes, it's in my room on my desk. –K_

_Do you mind if I borrow it? I found a gift for Christian but I need the computer –A_

_Of course, if you need help just call or text me –K_

I head to the computer store on the other side of the mall and purchase an MP3 player. Christian has an obvious appreciation and love for all types of music. I plan to download an eclectic array of music onto the MP3 player which is small enough that he could easily take with him if he is on go. I purchase a small set of speakers that plug into the device and the store employee explains how I can download music onto it.

Feeling accomplished, I return to Kate's apartment and begin downloading music. While the music is downloading I decide to google some desert recipes. Christian has told me several times that I do not need to bring something to his parents' house for dinner but I don't feel right showing up empty handed. I quickly find a few recipes and print out the ingredient list to take with me shopping later today. I check out Kate's pan selection and realize I will need to add a couple pie pans to my shopping list as it's obvious Kate doesn't bake. I decide to make an apple pie and a chocolate cake from scratch to bring to the Grey's on Christmas Day. I grab my shopping list and run to the grocery store and grab everything I need to make desert. My plan is to make everything Christmas morning, if I wake up early enough it should give me plenty of time to have everything cool before Christian picks me up.

The rest of the day passes by quietly and I manage to download all the music onto the MP3 player for Christian. I am excited to give it to him and hope that it is enough. I have a feeling he will spend an obscene amount of money on my gift but I take comfort in knowing that I put a lot of thought into the gift and the music selection.

_Next Day: Christian's POV_

This trip has been a waste of my time; I can't believe I let Roz convince me to fly out here for this. I don't see what couldn't have been accomplished over the phone or via skype. The entire management team here needs significant training if they are to perform at the level that is expected for companies under the GEH umbrella. A few members of the top management team are highly overpaid and seem to work minimum hours spending more time on a golf course then behind a desk. If GEH is going to take over this company we will need to send a team to work closely with upper management in New York for at least six months to a year. I will need to review the financials further to see if the company is worth investing that amount of man power in. I conclude the morning meeting letting everyone know that we will communicate our decision within 14 days. I have about an hour before we will leave for the airport to return to Seattle so I text Ana; I have seriously missed her these last two days. We usually talk on the phone at least once a day but with the time difference between Seattle and New York plus my time traveling it hasn't been possible.

_What are you doing? –C_

I wait for a response when suddenly my phone rings.

"Hello?" I say expecting Ana to be on the other line.

"Christian Darling! I'm so glad you answered!" Elaina says.

"What do you want Elaina?" I ask grimacing.

"Oh Christian you sound so tense" She says. "I don't know why you insist on not having a sub. Can' t you see how tense you are without a sub? And you're making such poor business decisions because of how tense you are."

"Excuse me" I yell into the phone. "What the fuck do you know about the business decisions I am making?"

"Calm down. Don't take that tone of voice with me Christian" She says firmly. "You decided to pull your financial support from the salons which obviously is a poor business decision. You never made such rash decisions when you had your needs being met."

"You know nothing about the decisions I have or have not made in the paste Elaina. For your information, I should have pulled my support from your salons years ago. Your financial records show you are barely making a profit from the salons after expenses and salaries are paid. I only continued backing you all this time because of our history however I no longer have the same respect for you any longer" I explain.

"What the fuck does that mean?" She yells. "I have done nothing but support you. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be where you are today! I made you who are you! I taught you everything you know! I continued to find you subs who could meet your needs for how many years now and this is how you thank me?"

"Enough Elaina!" I yell back. "You did not make me who I am today! I made me who I am. I built my business from the ground up. You loaned me money to start the business which I paid back in full plus interest within six months. The only thing you did was teach me how to fuck!"

"What? I taught you a whole new lifestyle! You know the lifestyle is not just about fucking!" She says angrily.

"You're right, it's not" I answer. "You taught me that all there was to sex was contracts and limits. You left no room for emotions and allowed me to think that is how this lifestyle worked."

"Emotions?" she asks laughing. "That's what this is about? Please Christian, you are not cut out for emotions. You don't even know what love is! You won't even let your own family show you they love you! You always say that you don't fit in with Grace and Carrick; that they could never accept who you are and what you like to do to women. How could you possibly love someone else? How could they possibly love you if you can't show them love?"

"Enough!" I answer angrily but find my voice cracking and my confidence slowly diminishing. She hit the nail on the coffin and she knows it.

"That's it, isn't it?" She asks clearly seeing her effect on me. "You are falling for the girl I saw you with the other night aren't you? Does she even know that you like to beat women before fucking them until they almost pass out? How do you think she will react when you tell her your deep dark secret?"

"I said enough Elaina!" I yell. "This is none of your business and if I ever find out that you mess with Ana again I swear I will ruin you in every way possible!"

"Again? Whatever do you mean Christian? I haven't done anything to Ana" Elaina says sweetly.

"Don't give me that bullshit!" I yell, once again my confidence returning. "You and I both know that you fucked with Ana's housing and had her lease terminated on the room she rented."

"I have no idea what you are talking about Christian and I don't appreciate you accusing me of things" Elaina says.

"I'm not accusing you, I am saying flat you that you fucked with Ana's housing" I reply firmly. "Do it again and trust me I will ruin you. I will see that you lose all your salon customers and I will ruin you within our community so you will never get a sub again."

"You don't mean that –" She says as I end the call.

"Taylor!" I call knowing that he is just outside the conference room.

"Yes sir?" Taylor asks quickly appearing.

"I want all the codes changed at Escala and effective immediately Elaina is not permitted anywhere near my home or office unless I personally okay it. I want the security on Ms. Steele to immediately notify you if Elaina is anywhere near her or Kate's apartment" I explain.

"Of course sir" Taylor says quickly typing on his phone.

My flight back to Seattle goes smoothly and as we exit the plane I have a sudden urge to find Ana. I checked my phone and she never responded to my text. I'm sure she was working or busy doing something but what Elaina said is making me second guess myself. She was right though. I have never allowed my family to hug me, well except Mia but she started hugging me as a baby and I knew someone so tiny could never hurt me. Ana has hugged me several times and even fell asleep on my chest and I never felt the pain I would always feel whenever someone else tried to touch my chest. I spoke with Flynn about this several times and he seems to think it's because I know that Ana won't hurt me and that I trust her.


	15. Chapter 15

_Author's Note: Christmas Eve and Christmas morning in this chapter plus a lemon! I love all the feedback and the guesses as to what Elena's next move will be! _

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy_

**Chpt. 15: Ana's POV:**

It's been a very long day and tomorrow will be even longer as I am working a double for Christmas Eve. Today the restaurant was busier than normal which I can only assume is due to everyone doing last minute shopping. I ended up working a double today even though I was only scheduled to work the lunch shift but we were just so busy I couldn't leave. I decide to take a hot bath before heading to bed as my feet are sore from standing all day. I settle into the bath and realize I dozed off when I hear someone knocking at the door. I quickly get out of the tub, dry off and throw on a robe before rushing into the living room. It's after ten but really not matter what time it would be I have no idea who could be knocking on the door. Christian and Kate are the only ones who know I'm even here. Christian must still be in New York because I haven't heard from him since earlier today. I look through the peep hole to find Christian standing just outside my door. I quickly tie the robe tighter around me seeing that I am wearing nothing underneath before opening the door.

"Christian, I wasn't expecting-"I say surprised to find him here especially at this hour. We weren't supposed to see each other until Christmas day.

"I know, I needed to see you" He says, shutting the door behind him.

He grabs my face with both hands and kisses me as if his life depended on it. This kiss is different, it is full of emotion as if he is trying to tell me something. He doesn't stop kissing me until we are both breathless and then he holds me tight again his chest. Both of his arms are wrapped around my upper back holding me in place.

"Is everything okay Christian?" I ask.

"I just missed you and needed to see you" he answers.

"Are you sure?" I ask. "It seems like something is bothering you."

"No, it was just a rough day" Christian answers. "I know it's late, but I really wanted to see you."

"It's okay, I had just fallen asleep in the bathtub when you knocked on the door" I said giggling. "Seems you weren't the only one who had a long day."

"God, I missed you so much" He says kissing me again.

This kiss quickly becomes passionate as our tongues explore each other's mouth and our hands seem to be all over each other. His hands quickly find my breasts through the folds of my robe and my nipples turn rock hard at his slightest touch. I gain confidence and reach down easily finding his erection between us; he groans as I start to rub his erection through his pants. Christian quickly walks us down the hall to my room as we continue kissing and groping each other. Christian pulls back the top of my robe just slightly and takes my nipple into his mouth. I moan and push his head closer to my breast not wanting him to let go. He lets my breast go and I pull him back to my mouth needing to feel lips against mine again. He has me so turned on right now but this time I want to take care of him first. I unbutton his jeans and yank them down before taking his erection in my hands. I can't believe how big he is! He moans as I move my hand up and down his erection. His obvious enjoyment of this simple action boosts my confidence and gives me the courage I need to drop to my knees. I take him in my mouth as deep as I can and slowly begin sucking him.

"Oh God" He moans. "Oh Ana, oh my…don't stop….please."

I start sucking him faster, moving up and down his shaft listening to his moans of pleasure to determine what he likes the most. I have never done anything like this before so I'm not quite sure if I'm doing everything the right way but he seems to be enjoying it so I must be doing something right. I bring my hand up and begin playing with his balls which makes him moan even loader. I take him deeper in my mouth until I feel the tip hit the back of my throat and I swallow.

"Oh Ana!" He exclaims. "I'm so close…I'm going to come"

I suck him harder and take him deeper again and feel him tense just before he peeks. I suck him completely dry, swallowing everything which I am surprised doesn't taste as bad as I expected it to. I don't really know what I thought it would taste like. Christian pulls me up and kisses me passionately immediately grabbing my breast and pinching my nipple. He takes my nipple in his mouth again and alternates between sucking and biting it with just enough pressure to make it enjoyable. Christian gently urges me to the bed where he lays me down and quickly lays next to me. I have never been this close to man with so little clothing on. I am suddenly keenly aware that I am naked under my robe but thankful that it is pretty dark in my room so there is little chance of Christian seeing any of scars that are visible around my hips. There are a few that can be seen on my front as the belt would often curve around my hip bones as I was hit.

I am quickly brought back to the present as Christian's mouth once again finds my nipple. He reaches down pulling the tie on my robe apart as his mouth continues its attack on my breasts. He quickly moves to the other breast as my robe slides open. He gently kisses his way back to my lips and kisses me passionately before breaking and looking right down at me.

"I don't want to hurt you" he says quietly. "If I do anything-"

"Just don't touch my lower back, please?" I ask. "Anywhere else is fine but not there..."

"Okay I promise" he says kissing me softly on the lips.

I can feel his hesitation in the kiss, wanting the passion to return I quickly deepen the kiss and begin to feel him responding. His hand returns to my nipple again and I begin to feel the hunger he had earlier returning. I gently push his head down trying to tell him what I want. He quickly understands what I'm asking for and his lips find my nipple once again as his hand begins pinching one nipple as he sucks the other one. The alternating touch on my nipples is driving me closer and closer to the edge.

"Ahhhhhhh" I moan as Christian gently bites my nipple surprising me. "Oh….god…."

I feel Christian smile against my nipple clearly proud of himself at my response. He is lying partially on top of me and partially on the bed when I feel his hand move further down. He pulls my robe complete apart so now I completely exposed to him. His lips remain focused on my nipples so my attention to my exposed body is short lived. Christian's hand slowly makes its way between my legs and gently urges me to move them apart. He begins rubbing my clit ever so gently and I find myself opening my legs even further so he can have access to everything.

"Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he deepens the pressure on my clit.

"Do you like that?" Christian says briefly pausing his attack on my nipples.

"Hmmmmmmm" I moan unable to form a coherent word I am so turned on.

I am so close to an orgasm I swear I am going to burst soon. Christian must sense how close I am and he slowly inserts a finger inside of me. This intensifies the feeling so much more, I can barely remember to breath as my body begs for more.

"Oh God" I moan as he moves the finger back and forth while his thumb continues rubbing my clit.

"You're so hot and tight Ana" he says breathless. "You respond perfectly to my touch…I've never been with someone so responsive before."

A second figure in gently inserted and I find my walls clenching around him each time he withdraws his fingers. My hips are moving up and down mimicking his fingers thrusting in and out of my body. I feel on fire and just when I think I can't take any more he begins to rub my clit even harder.

"Let go, Ana" he says. "Come for me."

He bites my nipple a little harder than before which sends me over the end and I explode around him. He continues moving his fingers in and out prolonging my orgasm even longer. He gently kisses both my nipples and moves up to kiss my lips as he slowly removes his fingers from my body. I ache at the sudden emptiness I feel, but he quickly wraps his arm around my stomach and brings me closer to kiss me deeper.

"Thank you for trusting me" he says.

No response is needed; he understands that I trusted him just enough to tell him where not to touch me but he also understands that I'm not ready to tell him why just yet. Christian rolls onto his back but gently pulls me closer to him. I put my leg on his and my head on his chest as we lay basking in our post orgasm bliss. After a few minutes I feel Christian's breathing changes and I look up to see that he has fallen asleep. I decide against waking him since it was obvious since the moment he got here that he had a stressful trip to New York. I cautiously reach over and set my alarm just in case I end up sleeping late, which never happens, but I cannot risk being late for work on such a busy day.

I cuddle back up next to Christian and quickly fall asleep relishing in the fact that Christian is the only I have ever had in my bed or ever spent the night with. I can't help but feel that I am falling deeply and fast for him. I worry he will hurt me but I have to take the chance as he makes me happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I didn't realize how unhappy I was until I found Christian.

"Noooooooooo" I hear a small voice say waking me from sleep.

I glance at the clock to see that it is just after two in the morning. I glance over hearing Christian moan again and quickly realize he must be having a nightmare. He had mentioned that his life before his adoption was not good and I can't help but assume this nightmare is related to that. He moans a few more times and I know I need to help him end the nightmare before it gets worse assuming it will get worse. I call his name a few times afraid to touch him but I don't get a response. I gently try shaking his arm as I call his name, but again no response. I take a chance and ever so cautiously reach over and place my lips firmly on his. I worry this could startle him and prepare myself that he could push me off of him not realizing it is me and thinking it is part of his nightmare. I begin to feel his body stop moving as I continue to kiss him further. Slowly his breathing begins to return to normal and I feel his arms reach up and wrap around me. He pulls me closer to him putting my head on his chest holding me tightly.

"Thank you" he whispers.

"You're welcome" I whisper back.

I don't ask him about the nightmare, knowing if that were me I would not want to talk about it especially not right after it happened. I feel his breathing settling into an even pace and look up to see he fell asleep again. I can't help but wondering what his nightmare was about and what his childhood was like before his parents adopted him. I know someday we are going to have to share horror stories; part of me wants to know his story and part of me does not. I don't want to think of him as a child experiencing anything like what I went through. He said he was fairly young when he was adopted which means whatever abuse he experienced he did so as a very young child, possibly as a baby. In that sense our childhoods were opposite; my early childhood was very pleasant and I recall mostly happy memories until my father died. Once he passed away, my mother fell apart and my childhood consistently got worse almost day by day until I finally left.

_Beep beep beep_

I reach over and turn off my alarm before snuggling back up next to Christian.

"What time is it?" he asks groggily.

"Nine" I answer.

"You're kidding" he says.

"No, why?" I ask.

"I haven't slept this late in years. I rarely sleep past six" He answers.

"Me either" I admit. "I always set my alarm but it's rare for me to wake to it even when I have early classes at school. I'm usually up by five or sometime mornings earlier."

"Happy Christmas Eve" Christian says kissing me.

"Same to you. I'm glad I got to wake up with you this morning" I reply.

"Me too" Christian says.

"I've never woken up next to someone before" I admit shyly.

"Really?" he asks surprised.

"Really" I answer.

"I wouldn't mind waking up to you again" Christian says, kissing me again.

"I wouldn't mind that either" I say smiling up at him.

"If you don't mind, could I use your shower?" Christian asks.

"Sure, I will get you an extra towel" I say getting out of bed and tying my robe back together realizing I slept with it open all night.

While Christian is in the shower I quickly throw on a pair of yoga pants and t-shirt and begin making breakfast. I'm not sure what he eats for breakfast so I decide to make a vegetable omlet with toast and coffee. From our run in at the café I know he prefers to drink coffee in the morning and takes it with only sugar. Breakfast is just about done when he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me kissing my neck.

"That smells good" Christian says lifting the lid on the pan to see what I was cooking.

"I hope you like eggs, I wasn't sure what to make you" I reply.

"Ana, you will quickly learn there are very few foods that I don't like" Christian explains. "The only thing I absolutely cannot stomach to eat are peas, other than that I will eat just about anything."

"I made you a cup of coffee" I say handing me the cup. "Black with sugar right?"

"Yeah" he says confused. "How did you know?"

"When I spilled coffee on you in the café you had to reorder your coffee" I explain.

"Oh that's right. I'm surprised you remembered" he says.

We quietly eat our breakfast together and discuss our plans for the day. I am working all day at restaurant since we have been booked for over a month now for dinner service. Christian will return back to his apartment to change and get a little work done before going to his parents for dinner. He explained that his mother expects everyone to be there Christmas morning which means they all spend the night on Christmas Eve. They will have a big dinner tonight before attending a candle lit church service and then returning back to his parents' house for the night. Christian offers to drop me off at work today on his way home. I try to tell him it's not necessary since the restaurant is so close to the apartment but he insists.

"I'm going to grab a quick shower and change" I say as I finish loading the dishes we used this morning.

"One day I'd love to join you" Christian whispers in my ear as he kisses my neck and holds me close to him.

I don't respond but quickly go to the shower. Joining me in the shower means having full view of all my scars, I think. I wait for the panic to set in from that thought but surprisingly it doesn't. At some point if our relationship is going to continue, Christian is going to see my scars. There is no way to avoid it and I will need to accept that when it happens. I know when that day comes I will also need to tell him about the scars. It's a conversation I'm dreading but one I also know will need to occur and likely soon. I want to be a normal relationship where my boyfriend can take a shower with me. I want a normal relationship where I don't need to worry about where he can and can't touch me.

As he said he would, Christian drops me off at work on his way home. He kisses me goodbye before I get out of the car and promises to talk to me later tonight. I'm not sure that is going to happen though because I will not finish work until pretty late and he will be with his family but nonetheless I agree. The restaurant is beautifully decorated for the holiday with white Christmas lights setting the mood perfectly throughout the dining area.

"Antonio, this is stunning. You have truly outdone yourself" I say hugging Antonio.

"Thank you Ana" he says. "This was all my wife's doing. She said we needed to decorate for the holidays and found a way to do it without looking cheesy. I warned her if it looked cheesy I would tear it down before we even opened."

"Her vision was perfect. This is beautiful and could not be any farther from cheesy" I reply.

The day goes by very quickly as the restaurant is the busiest I have ever seen it. We have an early lunch scheduled and then two dinner services later in the day. The lunch shift is not as busy but as the first the dinner service begins things get a little hectic. The kitchen staff are trying to get food out as quick as possible but they seem to be getting lost with so many orders. The wait staff are standing around waiting for food but not helping the kitchen staff by preparing their salads.

"Ana, can I see you for a moment?" Antonio asks as I am between courses in the first dinner service.

"Sure," I say following him into his office.

"What are your thoughts thus far into dinner service?" he asks bluntly.

"Well…" I say pausing, unsure what he is looking for.

"Be honest, Ana" he encourages.

"It's crazy and disorganized" I admit. "The kitchen staff are getting overwhelmed with so many orders and the wait staff are just standing around waiting for food when they could be helping."

"Helping?" He asks.

"Sure, I made my own salads for my tables so the kitchen staff didn't need to be bothered with that. Wait staff could get their own soup too if we moved the soup pots to the other stove and then they wouldn't be in the way. Or you could have one kitchen staff member designated for soup and let the others focus on the entrees" I explain.

"Perfect" he says. "Let's do that."

"I'm sorry?" I ask confused.

"I'm going to ask you to be in charge of the kitchen and wait staff tonight if you don't mind. We need someone to organize everything and see that it runs smoothly before we lose complete control and have customers walking out" he answers.

"Of course, I will see what I can do" I say nervously.

"You will do fine" Antonio says trying to reassure me. "You did a wonderful job for the Grey's holiday party and this is less people. I have full confidence in you."

Antonio calls everyone over for a brief meeting in the kitchen and explains that changes that we already discussed. Wait staff will now prepare their own salads for each table and we will have everything lined up in the one section of the kitchen so they are not interfering with the kitchen staff. We have one designated kitchen staff member for soups and the others will focus on entrees. I will float between the kitchen and dining room but not be assigned any specific tables so I can jump in where needed.

The rest of the first dinner services goes perfectly and all customers leave happy. We have an hour break before the next dinner service starts and I ask all the staff to come to the kitchen. Antonio joins us as we begin to discuss the next dinner service. I identify a few members of the wait staff to focus on putting the dining room back together which includes setting all the tables and cleaning the floors. I identify two others to make all the salads that we will need for the second dinner service. This will save significant time as we won't need to be making the salads as the orders come in. I identify several tasks for various kitchen staff members to begin preparing ahead of dinner service so the kitchen is more organized for this service. The meeting adjourns and everyone heads off to complete their designated task.

"Well done Ana" Antonio says.

"Thank you" I reply. "I believe these small changes will have the next dinner service running smoother for you."

The next dinner service begins and immediately the difference is seen as compared to the first service. The small preparations we did before the service started had food going out much faster and staff was less stressed. The kitchen was more organized and the entire service went out without a problem. After cleaning up from the last service we all went home to get some much needed rest after a long day. I slowly walked back to the apartment enjoying the slight chill in the air and looking at all the store front holiday decorations.

"Hello?" I answer my phone.

"Are you done working?" Christian asks.

"Yes, actually I'm walking home now" I answer.

"How was your night?" He asks.

"Busy, hectic but it could have been worse" I answer.

"I suppose it could" He says laughing.

"How was your night? Did you go to church yet?" I ask.

"Yes, we just got back home a little while ago and everyone went to bed" he answers.

"Does everyone wake up early tomorrow?" I ask remembering Christmas mornings when my dad was alive and how early they would start.

"Yes" he says laughing. "Mia wakes the entire house up usually by seven if we're lucky and she lets us sleep that late. I swear you would think she was still a child!"

"Nothing wrong with that. I'm sure she is just excited to see everyone on Christmas morning" I say.

"True…but she has so much energy" he replies. "Are you home yet?"

"Yup, just walked into the apartment and now I'm feeding Murray" I explain.

We talk for a while longer as I heat up some dinner and get ready for bed. Finally when I can barely keep my eyes open I tell Christian that we need to hang up so I can go to sleep. He reluctantly agrees although I can hear him yawning as well. I barely manage to put my phone on the charger before passing out from exhaustion.

_Beep beep beep_

The next morning my alarm goes off waking me from a deep sleep. I wake feeling rested and find myself looking forward to dinner tonight with Christian's family. Initially I was very nervous about being around his family, but as I have gotten closer to Christian these last few days I find myself less nervous. I make a cup of tea and a bowl of cereal before sitting at the breakfast bar to read through the recipes again.

_Merry Christmas –A_

_Merry Christmas Ana. I can't wait to see you later –C_

_Is everyone up yet? –A_

_No, you're awake before Mia –C_

_Sorry, didn't mean to wake you –A_

_It's okay, I couldn't sleep anyway –C _

_Sorry to hear that –A _

_What are you doing? –C _

_Having breakfast –A _

_Wish I was having breakfast with you again –C _

_Me too –A_

_See you later. Mia just barged in announcing it's Christmas –C_

_LOL –A_

I put on some holiday music and begin making the crust for the apple pie. The last few years I have chosen to ignore the holidays, especially Christmas because it's been years since I had someone to spend it with. The first couple of holidays after dad died weren't horrible, they just weren't the same as when dad was still alive. After mom divorced her third husband our holidays became nonexistent. She never had money even if she was with some random guy because they never had jobs or if they did they always spent their money on drugs and alcohol. Most of the time Christmas day was just another day in our house. After I ran away there was no one to celebrate the holidays with, although Kate and I always exchanged gifts. This will be the first year in a very long time that I will be sitting down for a Christmas dinner that is not served at a soup kitchen or a shelter.

A couple of hours later the chocolate cake and apple pie are done and cooling on the counter. I texted Kate for advice on what to wear to the Grey's a few days ago and she gave me some ideas from her closet. I decide to wear a black dress that has small red roses on it with a silver shawl as Kate suggested. The dress is classy enough for dinner but not too dressy as Christian said dinner today is not a formal event. I shower get dressed and am about to put my shoes on when I hear a knock on the door.

"Merry Christmas baby" Christian says coming in with several gift bags.

"Merry Christmas to you too" I reply kissing him.

"These are for you" Christian says putting the gift bags on the coffee table.

"Why am I not surprised at all that you went overboard" I say laughing.

"Overboard?" he asks. "Please, this is nothing compared to what I originally had planned. Gail and Taylor managed to convince me that I did need to buy as much and had me send half the gift back."

"Oh my" I say giggling. "I won't say that you didn't need to get me anything and should not have spent this obscene amount of money on me since I know it won't do me any good."

"You're right it won't" he says smiling.

We exchange gifts and of course it takes me a lot longer to open all my gifts. I can't help but roll my eyes at the amount of money Christian has clearly spent on me. He truly knows no limit when it comes to spending money. The first small gift bag I open contains a blackberry, the exact same model as the one he has.

"Christian" I say gently. "I really don't need a blackberry; my phone is perfectly fine."

"Ana, it's perfectly fine but it's not efficient for you" he explains. "You're in your last semester of college and will begin sending your resume out for jobs soon right? Most employers will prefer to communicate with you via email at least initially. If you don't have access to your email regularly you may miss the perfect job opportunity."

"I suppose" I say sighing. He has a point, but I still don't think I need a blackberry.

The next several gift bags all contain hard covered classic books from several of my favorite authors. I finally have my own library again.

"Christian, I'm speechless" I say still in shock.

"Why? Do you not like them?" he asks concerned.

"No! It's not that" I explain. "I can't believe you remembered, these are my favorite authors."

"Of course I remembered and I know how sad you were that you had to leave so many of your books behind. I figured now that you had your own place you might want to start your book collection back up" Christian said.

"You have no idea how much this means to" I say with tears threatening to fall.

"Ana, don't cry" Christian says hugging me. "Really, it's just a few books."

"It's not just a few books and you know it" I say. "But I can't cry because I just put make up on."

By the time I am done opening all the presents I have a new blackberry, close to a dozen books by some of my favorite authors and a beautiful necklace that compliments the dress I'm wearing tonight. Christian puts the necklace on me kissing my neck before he turns me around to get a better look.

"It's perfect Ana; it looks beautiful on you" he says.

"Thank you Christian" I reply. "This really is way too much."

"No it's not. I bought Mia three times this amount" He says laughing.

"This is your first gift" I say handing him the larger gift bag.

I watch his expression as he opens the books and reads the title. I bursts out laughing so hard I swear I see tears in his eyes.

"Oh this is good Ana" he says laughing.

"I thought you would appreciate it" I say giggling. "This is for you too."

He opens the smaller bag and his eyes light up when he sees the small MP3 player.

"This is the perfect size! I have one at home that is too big and I can't take it jogging or to the gym" He explains.

"It's preprogrammed with music but you can delete any that you don't like" I explain.

"Preprogrammed?" he asks confused.

"I downloaded music on it using Kate's computer" I reply. "It's an eclectic array of music everything from classical to rock."

"Oh wow, I can't believe you did this Ana" he says clearly surprised.

"You're not the easiest person to buy for Christian but it was important to me that my gifts were thoughtful" I explain.

Christian kisses me deeply and we both try to express our gratitude for the gifts in our kiss. The kiss quickly becomes passionate and I realize if we don't stop soon we will never make it to his parent's house for dinner. I try to pull away gently but Christian pulls me closer to him. I put my hand against his chest and pull back again.

"We need to go" I say breathless.

"No, let's stay here and continue this" he says kissing me again.

"No, we need to go" I say giggling.

"Fine, if we must" he says.

"Oh wait, I have dessert" I remember just before we walk out the door.

"Huh? I told you not to bring anything" Christian says.

"I know you did" I reply. "Here you carry this one and I will carry the pie."

"Is this chocolate cake?" he asks with big eyes.

"Yes, it's a double chocolate cake" I explain.

"Did I ever tell you chocolate cake is my favorite dessert?" he asks.

"I think it might have come up once or twice" I say laughing.

"You are amazing" he says kissing me on the cheek as we juggle the dessert items walking out.

"Sir, Ma-Ana" Taylor says.

"Merry Christmas Taylor" I reply.

"Same to you Ana" Taylor says.

We drive about a half an hour and arrive at the largest house I have ever seen. As we drive up the circular drive way I am in complete awe that people actually live here. It is the type of house you only ever see celebrities living in with perfect landscaping with not even a blade of grass out of place. The house is beautifully decorated with white Christmas lights and an oversized wreath on the front door.

"Ana? Are you coming?" Christian asks giving me his hand to get out of the ar.

"You grew up here?" I ask shocked.

"Yes" he answers.

"This place is huge" I say.

"It's just a house Ana, don't let it get to you" he says sensing my sudden nervousness.

Taylor carries the dessert as we walk up to the house where Christian's parents greet us at the door. I take a deep breath feeling Christian squeezing my hand and we walk to the door. _Here goes nothing…_


	16. Chapter 16

_Author's Note: Christmas Dinner is here! This will be the only update until Monday unfortunately...I will be away all weekend. Rest assured another chapter will be up on Monday though as I already have several chapters written beyond this one. I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

_ All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy._

**Chpt. 16: Ana's POV:**

"Mother, Father" Christian says formally and kisses each on the cheek. "I would like you to meet Ana Steele."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ana" Mrs. Grey says giving me a gentle hug.

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner Mrs. Grey" I reply.

"Please, Ana call me Grace" she says ushering me inside.

"It's nice to meet you Ana" Mr. Grey says shaking my hand.

"And you Mr. Grey" I say.

"Please Ana, it's Carrick" he replies.

We enter a beautiful lobby complete with a curved staircase leading to the upstairs living areas. A beautiful vase of flowers since at the bottom of the steps and holiday decorations are found throughout the area. Christian takes my hand and leads me into the great room where childhood pictures of Christian and his family are hung up with pride. Carrick brings us a glass of crisp white wine just as Elliot walks into the room.

"Hey Ana! Merry Christmas" Elliot says giving me a gentle hug.

"Merry Christmas Elliot" I reply.

We sit on the couches while Christian and Elliot talk about a current construction project that Elliot is working on for Christian's company. They are deep in conversation as a young vibrant beautiful girl comes bouncing into the great room.

"Christian! Aren't you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?" She asks looking impatiently at him.

"Mia, calm down you just walked in" Christian tries to say firmly while smiling. "Mia this is Ana, Ana this is my very bubbly sister Mia."

"It's so nice to meet you Ana!" Mia says giving me a big hug nearly pushing me back on the couch.

"It's wonderful to meet you too Mia. I've heard a lot of wonderful things about you" I say struggling to get out of Mia's grip which is beginning to suffocate me.

"Enough Mia, let the girl breathe" Carrick says.

"Oh sorry" Mia replies sitting on the couch next to me.

"Mia I heard you just got back from Paris, how was it?" I ask.

"Oh, it was beautiful and amazing! I've been there a few times before of course but this was the first time I was able to really explore the city on my own and for such a long period of time" she replies.

"Everyone, dinner is served in the dining room" Grace says walking back into the room.

Christian takes my hand leading me to the dining room where he pulls out my chair. Grace and Carrick are each seated at the end of a large mahogany dining room table. Elliot and Mia are seated across from us and there are a couple extra seats that are quickly removed by a server. Food is passed around the table in true family style as server continues to bring out additional food to place on the table. There is a large spiral cut ham, a roasted turkey, three different styles of potatoes, four vegetables, a pasta dish and freshly made rolls. I place a little of almost everything on my plate as it is hard to pass on anything with it all looking so good.

"So Ana, what is it you do?" Carrick asks.

"I am about to start my last semester at Washington State University where I am majoring in English Literature" I answer.

"And after college?" he asks.

"I hope to go into publishing, eventually editing books" I explain.

"That sounds nice" Carrick says before returning to his food.

We sit in silence for a few more moments enjoying the delicious food. Mia begins telling stories of her time in Paris describing many of the dishes she learned to cook while in school there. Christian's description of Mia to me previously was spot on. She is full of energy and clearly loves to be the center of attention.

"Ana, did you spend the morning with your family?" Grace asks as Mia takes a break from her stories about Paris.

"No, I don't have family in the area" I answer quietly.

"You were alone for Christmas morning?" Mia asks. "How sad."

"Mia!" Grace says sternly.

"No, it's okay" I reply. "I worked 14 hours yesterday so I enjoyed having a nice quiet morning to myself."

"She also spent the morning making a chocolate cake and apple pie from scratch for dessert today" Christian says proudly.

"You did not need to bring dessert Ana, but thank you" Grace says smiling.

"It was no bother," I say. "I enjoy baking and this was a perfect excuse to try out some new recipes."

"Speaking of recipes, you will never believe what Ana got me for Christmas!" Christian exclaims happily.

"Oh boy, something involving recipes? We're doomed" Mia says laughing.

"That's just it" Christian says. "It's a book called _Cooking for Dummies_."

Everyone laughs at Christian's expense; it is obviously known that Christian cannot cook. The rest of dinner passes by quickly with everyone making small talk about the holidays and Elliot's upcoming trip to the Bahamas for a couple days. Elliot flies to the Bahamas tomorrow to spend four days with Kate before returning to spend the New Year back in the states. It seems Elliot and Kate have gotten pretty close recently despite Kate being in the Bahamas. Elliot explained that they email or text each other several times a day and try to talk on the phone at least once a day.

After dinner we all move back to the great room where cocktails are served before dessert. We chat comfortably while sipping on our drinks. I hear Christian's phone alert him to a text and notice that he tenses when he reads the text. I look at him questioningly but he shakes his head as if to say it's nothing. A minute or so later the doorbell rings and Christian again tenses next to me and grabs my hand.

"Merry Christmas Everyone!" Ms. Blonde Bitch, aka Elena, says walking into the great room.

This is absolutely the last person I wanted to see today; it seems she just continues to show up wherever I am. I've waited on her twice at the restaurant, she attended Grace's holiday party there as well, she interrupted my date with Christian and now she is here on Christmas day.

"Elena, I would like you to meet Ana, Christian's girlfriend" Grace says.

"Oh I didn't realize Christian had a _girlfriend_; it's nice to meet you" she says giving me a fake smile.

"Likewise" I reply and return to my conversation with Christian.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know she would be here" he whispers in my ear. "She is good friends with my parents."

"Its okay" I whisper back kissing him gently on the lip placing my hand on his chest in an effort to send a clear message to Elena that Christian is mine.

As I pull away, I hear Grace gasp and see everyone looking at us. I don't know that I understand why everyone suddenly stopped what they are doing and are staring at us. I look at Christian confused and he gives me another kiss on my lips and squeezes my hand that is on his chest.

"Everyone, dessert is ready" Grace says effectively breaking the silence and everyone staring at me and Christian.

We return to the dining room where there is an array of desserts spread all over the table. Elena sits to the left of Christian next to Grace and I am on his right. I cannot put my finger on it but there is something about this lady that truly bugs me. Throughout dessert she seems to focus on Christian and several times rubs his arm while talking to her. In his defense, he is giving her one word answers and continues to try to divert the conversation to Elliot or Mia.

"Ana this cake is delicious!" Grace compliments.

"Thank you, I was hesitant to try a new recipe for today" I say.

"Whatever recipe you used, I would continue using. This really is amazing" Christian says kissing me on the cheek.

"The apple pie is my favorite" Elliot says.

We continue eating our desserts, drinking wine and making small talk. Christian's family all seem very close and it's obvious that his parents are proud of all of their children. I sit for a few minutes just observing everyone's interactions; I have never had a Christmas dinner like this. Even when my dad was alive, it would always be just the three of us around the table. My parents with both only children and their parents had passed away so we had no other family. Seeing what Christian must have had growing up every holiday definitely had me feeling somewhat jealous. I vowed that if I ever had kids we would have holidays like this.

"Christian?" I ask interrupting his conversation with Elliot. "Can you point me in the direction of the restroom?"

"Down the hall, third door on your left" he says kissing me on the cheek before I get up.

I quickly find the restroom which of course is immaculate and beautifully decorated. I wash my hands and open the door to find Elena waiting next to the door.

"Excuse me" I say, turning to go back to the dining room as quickly as possible. I don't want to spend any time alone with her if I don't need to.

"You will never be good enough for Christian, I hope you realize that" she says quietly to me.

"You are entitled to your opinion, but my relationship with Christian is really none of your business" I turn and say to her.

"Oh it is my business, see Christian and I have a _long_ history together" she says. "Trust me when I say you will never be enough for him. Someone like you could never meet his needs."

"I don't know what you are talking about but again my relationship with Christian is really none of your business" I say sternly trying not to scream at her and remember that she is a family friend.

"You are nothing more than a gold digging whore" she says glaring at me.

That was it. I took her martini glass from her hand and threw the liquid in her face.

"Elena! What the fuck is wrong with you?" Christian says walking up behind us.

"What is wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with your _girlfriend_? She just threw a drink on me for no reason!" She says.

"For no reason? I heard what you said to her!" Christian replies angrily. "How dare you call her a gold digging whore!"

"It's obvious that's what she is. She is only after you for your money! Why else would a waitress who lives in a boarding house be with you? Wake up Christian! She is after your money!" Elena yells to him.

"Enough Elena! I've told you several times that this is none of your business and I have asked you not to contact me. I don't know how much clearer I can be. Leave us the fuck alone!" Christian says through gritted teeth.

"Christian, darling" Elena says gently reaching for him, but he moves his arm back quickly before she can touch him. "You know _she_ will not be able to meet your needs! She can't give you what you and I both know you need!"

"You do not know anything about what I need Elena and I will not have this conversation with you!" Christian says angrily.

"She doesn't know does she?" Elena says obviously seeing my confused face. "She doesn't know how you like to fuck women senseless for hours out does she? She doesn't know about our lifestyle and everything I taught you does she? She doesn't know what you like to do to women-"

"Enough! You taught me how to fuck women, that's it. You taught me sex with no emotional connection; you taught me sex was only-" Christian yells firmly.

"Excuse me? What exactly did you teach my son?" Grace says walking down the hallway.

"Grace…uh…nothing it's not what you think, you misheard" Elena mumbles just as Grace reaches back and slaps her across the face.

"Taylor!" Grace yells knowing that he is here somewhere.

"Yes ma'am?" Taylor says walking in trying to make sense of the scene before him.

"Can you please take out the trash?" Grace says glaring at Elena. "You are no longer welcome in my house or near my family. If you dare contact any member of my family, including Ana, I will ruin you in every way possible."

"Grace, please it's not what you think! I helped him! Remember how bad he was as a teenager? Remember the fights and him getting expelled from school?" Elena says to Grace. "I stopped all of that!"

"Taylor!" Grace says sternly.

"Ma'am, please let's go" Taylor says taking Elena by the arm.

"Don't touch me!" Elena says walking out of the hallway glaring at me.

"Christian," Grace says calmly. "I think we need to discuss this in your father's office."

"Ummmm…I'll meet you there in a minute please" Christian says quietly, not making eye contact with anyone.

Grace walks down the hall meeting Carrick at the end who is standing their stunned. She takes his hand and leads him further down the hallway into a room, which I assume is his study before gently closing the door.

"Ana….." Christian says quietly, not looking at me.

"I think I need to go home Christian" I reply.

"Please….I….please…." he says obviously not knowing what to say.

"Christian, talk with your parents and then you and I need to have a serious talk" I say.

"Ana it's not what you think" Christian says quietly still not making eye contact with me.

"So you aren't into BDSM?" I ask.

Christian doesn't respond for the longest time. Kate dated someone a year or so ago who liked to experiment with hand cuffs and blindfolds. The guy gave Kate a brief description of BDSM and the next day we spent hours googling BDSM. Apparently the guy Kate met was minimally into the lifestyle but the images that we saw online explained some really hard shit. She ended up breaking up with him because he tried to get her to follow certain rules and Kate doesn't follow anyone's rules. There is no way I could ever be with someone who needed to beat women before he fucked them or beat them every time she broke some little rule.

"Ana, please let me explain" Christian says quietly.

"Christian, you need to talk to your parents first" I reply feeling my anxiety growing. "Maybe we can talk another day but I really need time to process everything I just heard."

"Ana, please I will give you time but please don't leave me" Christian begs quietly as my heart is truly breaking. "Please….I care for you so deeply and I'm falling for you hard. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

"Christian" I say as tears fall. "Please go talk to your parents; just give me time please."

"Of course" he says taking a deep breath. "Taylor!"

"Yes sir?" Taylor appears once again out of nowhere.

"Please take Ana home" Christian says.

"Of course, I will get the car and meet you out front Ana" Taylor says quickly disappearing.

"Ana…." Christian says quietly.

I reach over, taking his face in my hands and lifting it so I can see his eyes. I am shocked at what I see is in his eyes; fear, pain, embarrassment and shame are most prominent. I gently place a kiss on this lips and hold his face close to mine. He wraps his arms around the middle of my back and holds me tightly before I pull away.

"Good night Christian" I say walking out the door.

The ride back to my apartment is quiet and I just stare out the window trying to process everything I just heard. I knew there was something about Elena that I didn't like but I had no idea that she had a sexual relationship with Christian and taught him about BDSM. I cannot wrap my head around the Christian I find myself falling in love with and the pictures I saw on the internet. Granted Christian and I have not had sex yet, but when we were making out Christian was not bossy, demanding or controlling which are all key in that lifestyle. I really don't know what to think.

"Ms. Steele, we have arrived" Taylor says parking the car and walking around to open my door.

"Thank you Taylor" I say stepping out of the car and into the cool winter air.

"Ms. Steele, if I may?" Taylor asks.

"Of course Taylor," I answer really not sure what he can possibly say.

"Don't give up on Mr. Grey," Taylor says. "He is a good man that has had a really rough time in life."

"Thank you Taylor" I reply sighing. "Please take care of him, I have a feeling tonight is going to be rough for him."

"Of course, if you need anything my number is programmed into your blackberry along with my email address" Taylor says returning to the car.

I enter Kate's apartment and head directly to my room after making sure the door is locked. I strip out of my clothes and take a long hot shower. I know I need time to process all of this but I don't know how to move on from what I just learned. If Christian is involved I BDSM which was pretty obvious there is no way we can be together. Hell would need to freeze over before I let some guy beat me senseless! My mind continues to race and I find the shower is doing nothing to help my anxiety this time. I quickly get dressed into pajamas and go to the kitchen searching for some form of alcohol. Knowing Kate she has to have something in one of these cabinets. BINGO! I find a bottle of rum in the cabinet above the fridge and pour myself a large glass. Three or four glasses later I finally pass out on my bed and my mind stops running.

_"You're nothing but useless piece of shit!" he screams at me as the belt comes down hard on my back again._

_"You can't do anything right! Even your mother doesn't like you, that's why she left!" He says hitting me again._

_He beats me over and over again screaming at me about things that I don't even understand. He always blames me for things he forgets or loses. I can feel myself losing consciousness from the countless beatings just as he throws the belt on the floor._

_"Get up bitch!" He orders._

_I get up off the floor and as I turn around moves closer to me and I see his face change…suddenly he becomes Christian!_

End Flashback

**Same Day: Christian's POV**

I watch Ana walk out the door of my parents' house and I am frozen in the hallway. I can't believe everything that just happened. I can't believe I may have loss Ana. Part of me wants to run after her, but I need to respect her and give her the space she wants. After tonight I need to find a way to get her to talk to me. I need to explain that I am no longer that person. I need to make her understand that's not who I want to be and that's not who I am. But first I need to explain that to my parents…

"Mom? Dad?" I say walking into my dad's study.

"Have a seat Christian" My dad says handing me a glass of bourbon. I notice both him and my mother have a glass of bourbon; my mother never drinks liquor.

"Christian….I need to know" Mom says. "Is what she said true?"

"I'm not sure how much you heard…" I begin.

"Cut the crap Christian" mom says firmly. "I know what kind of lifestyle Elena is involved in. Did she get you involved in it?"

"Yes" I answer looking at the floor. "She introduced me to BDSM."

"When?" dad asks.

"When I was fifteen" I say barely above a whisper.

"Oh my God" my mother says as she quickly sits in the chair next to me.

"You were only a child, son" dad says taking a large drink from his glass.

"At the time I thought she was helping me" I explain. "I was more focused and my behavior began to improve. I thought it was giving me the control I needed."

"How long did it go on?" mom asks.

"For six years" I answer honestly.

"Oh my" mom says again. "How did I not see this? How could I have not recognized the signs that you were being abused? I see it day and day out at work, how could I miss it in my own home?"

"Mom, please" I say reaching for her hand. "It wasn't like that. Elena was helping me and I never said no. She wasn't abusing me."

"Son, she was" dad explains. "She was taking advantage of a young teenager; she was abusing you."

"No, I didn't say no" I say quietly.

"That doesn't mean it wasn't abuse Christian" mom says. "She took advantage of a child and you didn't know any better to say no. I saw your behavior changed and I thought it was from working with the new therapist we had found. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it was because of her."

"Are you still involved in the lifestyle?" asks dad.

"Sort of…." I say pausing. "I have been involved in the lifestyle for many years but only with consenting adult women. After Elena and I ended our…well after it ended I never returned to her. Over the last year or so I have been working with Flynn around this issue and I have begun to realize that those types of relationships are not what I want or need."

"Well thank goodness for Flynn" dad says.

"And you and Ana….?" Mom asks.

"No!" I answer quickly. "She didn't know anything about that part of my life before tonight. I don't want that with her."

"You're going to need to give her time Christian, this is a lot to take in" mom says.

"I know" I sigh. "She said the same thing. I just don't want to lose her."

"Be patient but be honest with her. Don't lie even if you think it's not something she wants to hear" dad says.

"I think I'm going to get ready for bed. It's been an exhausting night" mom says.

"I'm sorry Mom" I say walking over to her and pulling her in for a hug. I feel my mother gasp and tense around me before relaxing into my arms. I've never hugged my parents before but tonight felt right. I feel tense and my anxiety level is rising quickly but I don't feel the sudden pain that usually comes from someone touching my chest. I gently pull away and see my mother is crying. She quickly wipes the tears away and smiles at me. I give my dad a hug as well and leave his office seeing both my parents shocked.

"Is it true Christian?" Elliot asks as I return to the great room.

"You heard too?" I ask.

"Yes" Elliot answers.

"Yes it's true" I answer.

"Someday you will need to tell me how it all happened" Elliot says recognizing that I don't want to talk any further tonight.

"Someday" I sigh and walk out the front door finding Taylor waiting at the car for me.

"Sir?" Taylor asks.

"To Escala" I answer.

"Taylor?" I ask.

"Yes Sir?" Taylor responds.

"Did Ana get home okay?" I ask.

"Yes sir, I dropped her off at the apartment she shares with Ms. Kavanaugh" Taylor answers.

We drive in silence back to Escala and I take the elevator up to my penthouse. As I sit in the great room with another glass of bourbon in my hand I look around and realize just how lonely my life truly is. The lifestyle that Elena introduced me to was supposed to help me keep control over my life. I thought this was the only way I could control women and not have them touching me on my chest or on my back. I thought this was the only way but being with Ana has shown me that I just needed to find a woman I could trust. There is something about Ana that makes me trust her completely. I know that she would never hurt me.

_"Mommy, mommy! Hungry…" I say shaking mommy._

_"Mommy!" I yell shaking her harder but she doesn't wake up. A needle is still in her arm, maybe if I take it out she will wake up. That medicine makes her sleepy. I pull the needle out and throw it far away; Mommy tells me not to touch her medicine. _

_My belly makes noises telling me it's hungry. Mommy isn't waking up. I go to the kitchen and open the fridge. There is nothing in there. The milk smells funny so I don't drink it. There is no food to eat. I open the cabinets but the cereal boxes are empty. In the freezer I find a bag of peas and ice cubes. I take the peas and sit next to mommy. I try to feed her a pea but she won't open her mouth. I eat some peas but they are really yucky. They are mushy and cold in my mouth and my belly keeps hurting._

_"Get up bitch!" The man yells at mommy walking through the door. Mommy doesn't get up for him too._

_"I said get up! I have customers waiting" he says walking to mommy. _

_He pushes me away and my head hits the floor hard. I don't cry, it just makes him more angry when I cry. _

_"What did you do to her?" He yells shaking her hard and looking at me with mean eyes._

_"Nothing, she sleeping" I say quietly._

_"She's not sleeping, she's dead" He says and storms out of the room._

End Flashback.

I wake covered in sweat and my heart is racing. I will never forget that day as long as I live. It was the day that I met Grace and she rescued me. It's four in the morning and I am wide awake from the nightmare, I know I won't be able to go back to sleep. I throw on sweatpants and a sweatshirt and decide to go for a long run. I text Taylor telling him I am leaving but that he doesn't have to go with me as I wash up in the bathroom. I walk down the steps to my foyer and find Taylor standing by the door dressed and ready to go running with me.

"Taylor, you don't need to come running" I say approaching him.

"No problem sir" he answers.

We start running our usual three mile route and we quickly return to the building. I still feel very unsettled and the run did nothing for me. I start running again, this time in a different direction but Taylor does not say anything. A couple miles later I find myself outside Ana's apartment and I stare up at her bedroom window.

"Sir?" Sawyer says approaching us.

"Is she in there?" I ask.

"Yes sir," Sawyer answers. "She hasn't left since Taylor dropped her off last night."

"Very well" I say sighing.

We return home and I still feel no more relaxed than when I woke from the nightmare this morning. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say to Ana. How do I make her understand? How can I get her to see that I am not that person?

"Taylor?" I ask.

"Yes sir?" he says.

"I want the play room destroyed" I say.

"Sir?" Taylor asks, but I'm sure he knows what I just said.

"I want the play room destroyed. Have everything taken out by the contractors we used to install it. I don't care what they do with everything but I want it out by the time I get home from the office tonight. Be sure they sign a new non disclosure agreement; the one we have on file is several years old" I answer.

"Yes sir" Taylor says. "What would you like done with the room?"

"Have it set up as a library," I decide. "With comfortable love seats for someone to sit and read in. Call Elliot once the room is cleaned out and freshly painted to have him do the work. Then have Andrea get me an array of books delivered, be sure they include the classics as well as current best sellers."

"Yes sir" Taylor says hiding his surprise well.

"I'm going take a shower and head to the office" I say walking out of the room leaving a stunned Gail and Taylor behind.

Gail and Taylor have both been with me for several years now so they know what type of sexual lifestyle I was involved in. Gail would see that my subs had a spare room set up that they could stay in on the weekends when they were here and Taylor would handle the background checks on all my subs before the contracts were initiated. Neither ever said anything about my lifestyle but I have no doubt that they were disgusted by it.


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: Thank you again for all your feedback, support and encouragement!

* * *

_All character's belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy._

**Chpt. 17: Ana's POV**

_Buzz buzz_

"Yes?" I say into the intercom.

"I have a delivery for Ms. Steele" a voice says.

"Please come up" I reply surprised.

A few minutes later there is a knock on the door.

"Yes?" I ask opening the door.

"I have a delivery for Ms. Steele?" a young man says holding a very large vase of beautiful flowers.

"Oh of course, please put them on the counter" I say pointing to the breakfast bar.

"Have a nice day ma'am" he says leaving.

The flowers are gorgeous and are an array of bright colors that make me think of spring. I quickly find the card enclosed and am surprised to find a hand written note from Christian in an envelope. I quickly assumed the flowers were from him but expected him to have his assistant or Taylor order the flowers.

_Ana-_

_Please forgive me. _

_Please let me explain. _

_I miss you, I miss your smile, I miss your eyes._

_Call me_

_Christian_

I sigh and put the flowers on my dresser in my room and I have to admit the flowers do wonders to brighten my room up. I want to talk to Christian but I don't know that I'm ready yet. I don't know that I want to know what he has to say. I'm afraid that no matter what this is the end for us and I think I can handle that. We have gotten so close the last few weeks and I really think I'm falling in love with him. I don't know that I can walk away now but I know I can't be in that lifestyle. If I ask him to give it all up for me I worry he would regret it and end up cheating on me with someone who can give him what he wants and needs.

_Thank you for the flowers. I still need more time –A_

_I understand, please know that I miss you terribly –C_

_I miss you too –A _

The next couple of days pass by each one like the one before. Every day Christian sends be a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered by the same guy so he must be using the same florist for each order. Christian and I don't talk again; I don't know what to say. I am scared senseless that I'm losing him and I feel that I'm prolonging the inevitable. I go to work and come home every day doing nothing else each day. I force myself to eat everyday although I have absolutely no appetite but I know I need to eat. I feel like I'm in hell. My nightmares have returned in full force and are now occurring every night. I'm lucky if I can manage to get three or four hours of sleep a night.

_Elliot surprised me with a trip to New York City to see the ball drop on New Years Eve! –K_

_How wonderful Kate! I'm so happy for you –A_

_We are flying straight to NYC from here but I will be back on the 2__nd__ or 3__rd__ so we can catch up! –K _

_No worries, have a great time –A _

"Ms. Steele?" I hear as I walk out of the restaurant at the end of my lunch shift.

"Taylor?" I ask surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?" He asks.

"Of course" I answer as he leads me to where the now familiar black Audi SUV sits. "Is everything okay?"

"No," he says sighing. "Christian is absolutely miserable without you and I'm here to ask you for help. He hasn't eaten in days, he is barely drinking water and he hasn't gone to work since the day after Christmas. I'm really concerned for him."

"Taylor, I don't know what I can do…."I say sadly.

"Look, I know what happened at the Grey's on Christmas and have an idea of what Mrs. Lincoln announced to everyone. I'm just asking you to hear Christian out; he's not the man you think he is. Since you came into his life he has completely changed for the better. I've never seen him happy before and before Christmas he had a permanent smile embedded on his face. Please, just hear him out. He really is a good guy and he would never hurt you" Taylor explains.

"But how do you know? I can't imagine him in that lifestyle but since he was he would have hurt women. Why do you think he won't hurt me?" I ask, admitting at least one of my fears.

"Because you are different" Taylor says. "You have been since the first time you met him. He has never been with anyone like you. I don't think he ever cared about the other women but anyone can see how strongly he feels about you whenever you two are together."

"It can't be just that simple" I reply.

"It is Ana, you are different and you have made him different" Taylor explains. "If I wasn't so sure he would never hurt you I would not be here. I will guarantee you that he will not physically hurt you without your consent and if he does I will beat the shit out of him."

"Taylor?" I ask after a long period silence.

"Yes?" He responds.

"Will you take me to Christian please?" I ask taking a deep breath.

"Of course Ana" Taylor says getting out of the back seat and climbing into the driver's seat.

I try to think of everything to say to Christian the entire car ride to Christian's apartment but I end up coming up empty handed by the time we arrive. We pull into a parking garage which says _Parking for Escala residents only._ Taylor escorts me to the elevator and enters a code which enables him to select the penthouse floor. A couple minutes later we arrive at Christian's penthouse and I stand in a beautiful white foyer. The entire apartment, if you call a place this big an apartment, seems to be a crisp cool white at least all the areas I can see. There are beautiful paintings hung but I see no personal photos anywhere, granted I am only standing in one small part of what I can only imagine is a very large apartment.

"Taylor?" I ask.

"He's in his study according to Gail. He hasn't come out of there except to use the bathroom all day" Taylor answers. "Second door on your right."

I take a deep breath and ever so slowly walk down the hall. I knock gently on the door but I don't get a response. I try knocking again and still nothing. I open the door and am utterly shocked at what I see. Christian is lying on a small leather couch completely disheveled; he hasn't shaved in days and he is still in the clothes he must have slept in last night. His office has papers strewn all over the floor, his phone is off the hook and I see a vase of flowers on the floor.

"Christian?" I say walking closer to him. I can't tell if he is passed out from drinking for just pure exhaustion.

"Ana, is that really you?" he asks opening his eyes.

"Yes it's me" I answer. "What the hell happened here?"

"You left me" he says as if that were to explain everything.

"I didn't leave you Christian, I told you I needed time" I explain.

"It's been days Ana, I haven't heard from you" he says. "You promised you would never leave me and you left."

"When did I promise that?" I ask not remembering saying that.

"In your sleep, the night we spent in your bed" he explains. "You said you would never leave me, you promised."

"Christian," I say sighing. "I don't know where we can go from here but I think we need to have a long talk."

"You're going to give me a chance?" he asks surprised.

"I think we need to talk and see if we have a chance" I answer. "I've thought a lot about what I learned at your parents' house-"

"I wish you never heard that" he says looking at the floor.

"So do I, but it would have needed to come out eventually" I said sighing. "As much time as I've spent thinking about that, I've spent just as much time thinking about how much you mean to me. I don't want to lose you Christian."

He sits up and pulls me into a strong hug, holding me tightly against his chest. We sit like that for what seems like hours, neither of us wanting to break the contact and neither of us knowing what to say.

"How did you get here?" Christian asks.

"Taylor" I answer. "He caught me as I was leaving work and asked me to talk to you."

"I told him to leave you alone…I'm sorry Ana" Christian says.

"Don't be" I reply. "When was the last time you ate?"

"I don't know" Christian answers. "Christmas dinner I think."

"Christian! That was days ago, you need to eat!" I yell at him. "Go take a shower while I make some lunch. And put on clean clothes, it looks like you haven't changed your clothes in days."

"I haven't" he says standing up. "You promise you will be here when I'm done? You won't leave?"

"I promise Christian, I will be here you have my word" I reply.

Christian goes upstairs to where I presume is his bedroom and I set out to find the kitchen. The first room I find is a large great room complete with a baby grand piano. The room is very formal and barely looks used. The next room is an equally large dining room with an ornate table to seat eight which I doubt has ever seated that many people. I don't see Christian as the type to entertain here. Finally I find the kitchen which is any chef's dream complete with high end appliances and granite countertops. I look through the cabinets trying to find something easy to make when I hear a door close behind me.

"Can I give you a hand?" A female probably in her mid-thirties asks approaching me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking for something quick to make for Christian" I explain. "I'm Ana."

"It's wonderful to meet you Ms. Steele, my name is Gail I am Mr. Grey's housekeeper and personal cook" she says extending her hand.

"Please call me Ana" I say smiling.

"I have some homemade macaroni and cheese here in the fridge that is Mr. Grey's favorite if you would like me to heat it up. Or I can make subs with homemade chicken noodle soup?" She asks.

"I think the macaroni and cheese would be perfect," I answer. "I will be more than happy to heat it up."

"It's no problem Ana, please allow me" she says turning on the oven and putting the dish on the rack. "I have the timer set so if you just take it out when the timer goes off it should be hot. Would you like anything to drink?"

"I think just water or juice?" I ask.

"Sure, I have pitchers of both I will set on the table along with two place settings" she says opening the fridge to get the drinks.

"I don't mind setting the table" I say, not used to having someone do all of this for me.

"It's not a problem Ana," she says quickly setting the table and putting glasses out for our drinks. "If you need me my apartment is right through that door. Don't hesitate to knock if you need something. And thank you for coming to talk to Mr. Grey. It's been a rough few days."

Before I can respond she leaves the room and returns to what I presume is her apartment. I return to the great room to wait for Christian and I walk over to the balcony doors. The view from his apartment is absolutely breathtaking; you can practically see all of Seattle from here. I open the balcony doors and step outside for a few moments enjoying the view even further before I start getting cold. I turn around to go in and bump right into Christian.

"Oh, sorry" I say. "I didn't realize you were there. I was just taking in the beautiful view you have."

"The view is really something, isn't it?" He says as if this is the first time he is looking at it.

"Gail has some mac and cheese heating up in the oven that should be done in just a few minutes" I say as we walk back into the great room.

"You met Gail?" he asks.

"Yes, I think she heard me looking around the kitchen. I wasn't sure where everything was kept and was looking for something quick and easy to make" I answer.

"It's my favorite" he says.

_Beep beep beep_

"That must be it; Gail said she set at timer" I said walking into the kitchen.

Christian carries the dish to the table and we begin eating in silence.

"Christian, you really have lost weight" I say breaking the silence.

"I know" he sighs. "I couldn't bring myself to eat these last few days."

"I had to practically force myself to eat lately too" I say sadly.

"Really?" he asks surprised.

"Yes," I answer. "I may not have been closed up in a room for several days, but trust me when I tell you I was suffering too. I haven't slept well since the night we slept together."

"Me either" he says.

We finish our dinner and put all the dishes in the sink. I started to load the dishwasher but Christian insisted we leave it for Gail saying it was a better use of our time to talk. I think he could tell I was trying putting off this conversation. Christian grabs a bottle of wine and we had back to the great room where Christian turns on the gas fireplace.

"So…."I say not knowing where to begin.

"First, thank you for giving me a chance to explain" Christian begins. "In order to tell you about what you learned on Christmas, it's important that I first explain a few things to you. My mother was a drug addict and a prostitute; she overdosed on drugs when I was four years old. I was with her body for several days before her pimp found me and called the police. Her pimp had put his lit cigarettes out on my chest and my back multiple times for as long as I can remember. When the police finally found me I was severely underweight, malnourished and filthy. They took me to the hospital where Grace happened to be the on call pediatrician that night. They had to sedate me in order for her to examine me because I kept freaking out whenever someone touched my chest or my back but they had to treat the burns. I was in the hospital for weeks gaining weight and having my burns treated. During that time Grace and Carrick were able to expedite the adoption process since they had already been approved by the state when they adopted Elliot. I didn't talk until I was nearly six years old."

"Oh Christian, I had no idea" I say shocked. "I am so sorry you had to go through that."

"I had a lot of anger growing up and it took years of therapy as an adult to recognize the anger I had was being misdirected. My anger was at my mother for abandoning me and for not stopping her pimp from abusing me" he explains taking a deep breath and running his hands through his hair.

"We can take a break if you want" I say quietly sensing his increased stress level.

"No, I want to get through this" Christian says before continuing. "Like I said I had a lot of anger. I was constantly getting in physical fights at school; I was expelled from three different schools by the time I turned fifteen. I was a horny teenager but couldn't bear the idea of anyone touching me. I didn't allow anyone to touch my chest or my back even if I had clothes on. Most of the fights in high school were because someone bumped into me or touched me and I would just see red my anger taking over. My parents tried everything; doctors, therapists, you name it but nothing helped. One summer my mom asked me to help Elena with some yard work that she needed done. I went over and helped her clear out an area where she was going to have a flower bed put in. After a couple of hours in the hot sun she invited me inside for a cold drink. Just like that she kissed me, full on the lips shocking the hell out of me. A minute later she slapped me hard across the cheek. I didn't know what to think; Grace and Carrick did not believe in physical discipline growing up. Elena told me to come back the next day, which I did. That started my introduction to BDSM; every day it would move forward a little further. Every time my mother told her I misbehaved in school or around the house she would take me to her playroom and punish me."

"You had sex with her though?" I ask.

"Yes" He says sighing. "Part of the rewards for not misbehaving was sexual pleasure. It's part of how the lifestyle works; there are rules that are to be followed and if you don't you are punished. If you follow the rules then you are rewarded with pleasure."

"She abused you, Christian" I say shocked. "She is a pedophile but you were still involved with her?"

"Yes" he says sadly. "I know that sounds awful, but until I discussed it with my parents on Christmas I did not see it as abuse. I consented to what she did, which to me did not make what happened abuse. When our sexual relationship ended we were only involved on a business level and then of course at family functions."

"How long were you involved with her?" I ask.

"Six years…" He admits. "It ended just after I turned 21, she helped me become a dominate and at that point I was ready to move on with my own sub."

"So you had submissives?" I ask, not sure how much I really want to know.

"Yes" He answers honestly. "Each submissive had a contract drawn up with rules, hard limits and soft limits."

"Okay…can you explain further?" I ask. "I don't know what limits are."

"Most of the rules were basic rules including wearing the clothes I bought for them, sleeping eight hours a night, working out three to four days per week, things like that. Hard and soft limits were sexually related items. A hard limit is something they refused to do. A soft limit is something they may consider doing but they may get uncomfortable too so proceed with caution" he explains.

"You had a contract drawn up that said what kind of sex you would have?" I ask surprised.

"Essentially yes" he answers. "But it also included what kind of toys or actions were acceptable and which were completely off limits."

"I don't understand why you can't just explore it and see what you both like" I say. "It seems very complicated this way."

"It's actually the opposite" he explains. "Having it all drawn out and signed ahead of time means you spend less time trying out things each other does not like or don't find as enjoyable as other toys or actions."

"What about punishments?" I ask the question I have been dreading the most.

"If a submissive breaks a rule she is punished. The type of punishment is often determined by what rule she broke, whether or not she has broken the rule before and in some situations what caused the rule to be broken" he answers.

"What types of punishments did you engage in?" I ask, again fearing the answer.

"Well…" he says pausing. "For simple infractions it might be orgasm denial for example. Other times it would be a spanking."

"With something?" I ask quietly.

"Sometimes yes" he admits just as quietly. "Sometimes a belt or cane was used."

"I see…" I say getting up and pacing the room. He just admitted he did what I feared the most.

"Ana, please please understand one thing" he begs. "These were all consenting adult women who had the ability to end the punishment at any time they chose."

"Huh? What do you mean?" I ask confused. _How could they end a punishment?_

"Every BDSM relationship should have what are called safe words. There should be two safe words, most often yellow and red are used. Yellow is used to tell the dominate to slow down, that the submissive is getting closer to the limit of what she can take. Red is used to communicate to the dominate to stop immediately; her limit is reached" he explains. "I only learned about limits after my second submissive brought it up. Elena did not teach me about safe words, meaning I wasn't allowed to use them when I was her submissive."

"So if either word is said, you would stop" I reiterate.

"Yes" he answers.

"And the submissives wanted to be punished?" I ask.

"Yes" he answers. "Some people, both men and women, like to be controlled and often the only time to feel controlled is to be punished."

"What did you get out of it?" I ask.

"Control" he answers. "Remember I told you I couldn't bear the idea of anyone touching my chest or my back? This was a hard limit noted in every contract I had with a submissive. The contracts all stipulated that a submissive's hands were to be bound during sexual intercourse or during certain scenes to insure they did not touch me even accidently. I thought I needed to control every part of my life and often when one area such as work was getting hectic I needed to exhibit more control in another area of my life which was often the sexual area."

"How many contracts have you had?" I ask.

"Fifteen" he answers.

"How did you find these women?" I ask.

"Elena found them for me" he answers.

"Of course she did" I say laughing. "Even when you were no longer her submissive she continued to exhibit control over you."

"No, she just referred girls to me because she knew what I liked" he replies. "It was always my decision whether or not to contract with them."

"Christian, don't you see?" I ask. "She handpicked women for you to fuck exactly how she taught you to fuck. She gave you no other option; even years later she managed still control your life."

He pauses for a few minutes, running his hands through his hair forcefully and doesn't say anything. I walk over to him and hold his hands still; if he continues pulling his hair like that he won't have any by the end of the night. He wraps his arms around my waist and I have to breathe deeply because his arms are touching my lower back. I try to think about just comforting Christian right now but still find myself tensing up at the unfamiliar touch.

"Oh god Ana, I'm sorry" he says quickly removing his arms. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay Christian" I whisper. "Tonight is your story, tomorrow I will share mine."

"What else do you want to know?" he asks.

"When we first met, did you want me to be your…to do….?" I ask hesitantly.

"No!" He answers quickly. "Never once did I want you as a submissive! From the first time I saw you I knew there was something different about you. I've been seeing a therapist for several years now and over the past year he has helped me realize that I want more than just contractual relationships with women. I wasn't getting the same gratification from the relationships as I once had. You were the first woman I met that I knew I wanted to try for more with. I never wanted you as a submissive."

"You said you've never let anyone touch your chest and back before" I say. "But I've touched your chest several times?"

"I know, I realized that as well" he answers. "The first time you did was when we bumped into each other and you almost fell. That was the first time someone touched my chest and I felt no pain; I didn't see red. I thought it was a fluke but you have been able to touch my chest several times since then and it has not bothered me. Christmas day was the first time I have ever hugged my parents."

"Really?" I say shocked.

"Hugging always involves someone touching my chest or my back, so I avoided it" he answers.

"Why do you think it is different now?" I ask.

"I'm not sure" he admits. "My therapist, Flynn, says it's because you were the first person that I trusted completely not to hurt me. From the moment I looked in your eyes something told me you would never hurt me."

"But certainly you didn't think your parents would hurt you growing up?" I ask.

"No, not really" he says. "But I didn't have good parental role models early on so when Grace and Carrick adopted me I wasn't sure what to expect. Initially I always expected one of them to punish me physically. Hell, I remember at times doing something on purpose just to see how they would react. How they put up with me is beyond me, but they never raised a hand to me."

"They love you" I reply simply.

"They do and they are saints for putting up with everything I did for so long" he says.

We sit next to each other on the couch in silence. It's well after midnight now and we have been talking for hours. It's easy to see that we are both exhausted from tonight's discussion and neither of us has slept well in the last few days. I realize I should probably head home but I don't know that I want to leave tonight.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Christian asks.

"No, I'm off the next three days and then work only the dinner shift on New Year's Day" I answer.

"Will you spend the night with me tonight?" he asks quietly. "I understand if you don't want to but I feel like I finally have you back and I'm afraid if you go home…"

"Yes" I answer. I know he's trying to say he's afraid I won't come back.

"Yes?" he asks.

"Yes I will spend the night with you" I repeat. "There's a lot we still need to talk about."

"There is?" he asks, clearly exhausted.

"Not tonight but yes, tomorrow and probably even after that" I answer. "Tomorrow I will tell you my story and we will see if you still want to continue this with me."

"Ana, there is nothing you can say that will make me leave you" he says kissing me passionately.

"I just worry that I can't do what you want and what you need" I admit tearfully.

"Ana, I told you I realized before I even met you that I don't want or need that lifestyle any longer" he says reassuringly. "I want a normal relationship, one without contracts and rules. I want to be able to see you anytime and talk to you whenever I want, not just when a contract says."

"But what about all the sexual stuff? I don't think I could ever do that stuff" I admit fearfully.

"It isn't always about punishment, there is a great deal of pleasure involved. But if you decide you want a regular sex life with no toys at all then I guarantee I will be satisfied with just that. And if you decide you might want to try out toys then together we can decide what toys you might enjoy. There will never be punishments" He promises.

"Okay…you might have a lot of teaching to do" I say giggling.

"I don't think it's so much about teaching as about talking" he explains. "We will just discuss what you have enjoyed with your previous sexual partners and what you didn't enjoy. From there we will see how to expand on what you did enjoy."

"Christian, that's just it" I say. "I haven't had any sexual partners before, I have no frame of reference for any conversation we are likely to have."

"Wait…what?" He asks stunned. "What do you mean you haven't had any sexual partners before?"

"Christian, I'm a virgin" I answer.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: Finally, Ana tells Christian her story. This chapter was very difficult to write for me given the subject matter. Thank you all for your continued support, feedback and encouragement.

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy._

**Chpt. 18: Christian's POV**

"Wait….what?" I ask. Tell me I did not hear her correctly. "What do you mean you haven't had any sexual partners before?"

"Christian, I'm a virgin" she answers.

I am stunned; I kind of assumed she was inexperienced but never would I have guessed she was a virgin. We just sat here having an in-depth conversation about the BDSM lifestyle and she's never had sex before. I'm sitting here talking about orgasm denial and sexual toys, neither of which she knows anything about!

"Wait…" I say pausing. "How did you know about BDSM then?"

"Kate dated a guy once who was into it so we googled it one night" she says shrugging.

"So all you know is what you found on google?" I ask.

"And what you just told me" she replies.

"I had no idea" I apologize.

"Of course you didn't" she giggles. "It's not like I had a neon sign on my forehead that announced I am a virgin."

"Yes I suppose you don't" I laugh. "I think it's been a very long night, maybe we should get some sleep?"

"Yeah, I'm exhausted" she yawns.

"I don't want to assume…." I say slowly, realizing while she agreed to spend the night with me tonight I don't know if she wants to share my bed with me. "I would love sleep next to you again, but if you are not comfortable for that I have a spare bedroom you can stay in."

"I would like very much to sleep next to you again" she answers quietly. "If you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all" I say inwardly cheering that I can spend the night next to this beautiful woman again.

I lead Ana upstairs to my bedroom and tell her "I want you to know that you will be the first woman I have ever had in my bed. No one has ever been in this room before; well except Mia, my mom and Gail but none of them have slept in here of course."

"The other women….the subs….they never slept in here?" she asks surprised.

"No, they were never permitted in my room. I had a playroom where the scenes would occur and then they stayed in a spare bedroom. For the most part they were only here on weekends and rarely during the week" I answer.

"You said you had a playroom?" she asks.

"Yes, here I will show you" I say taking her by the hand and leading her down to the end of the hallway.

I open the door and lead her into the now empty room which has since been painted white.

"Why? What happened?" she asks clearly surprised to the find the room empty.

"I asked Taylor to have the room torn out the day after Christmas. Everything is gone. I've known for a long time that I wanted more than just the lifestyle but on Christmas night I talked for a long time with my parents about everything. They helped me realize that what she did was wrong and I knew every time I would step foot in this room I would be reminded of Elena. I don't need this room anymore so I asked Taylor to have it destroyed. When Elliot comes back he is going to start remodeling this room but it will never again be a playroom" I explain.

"You're sure this is what you want? How do you know you won't need it again?" she asks as we walk back to my bedroom.

"I don't know how to explain it," I say sighing. "I just know it's not something I want to be involved in again."

I show Ana the attached bathroom and give her one of my t shirts to sleep in. I see the awe in her eyes as she takes in the bathroom especially the large soaking tub which is built for two. I've never had a woman in the tub but when I had it installed I always pictured myself enjoying it with someone. It just never felt right to invite any of my submissives into my personal space like this. I don't say it, but I vow to share the soaking tub with Ana one day.

We climb into bed together and I pull Ana close to me resting her head on my shoulder. After everything I told her tonight I can't believe she didn't run screaming. I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and this will all be a dream, that Ana did not come here and did not spend the night with me. As tired as I am I force myself to stay awake and just relish in the moment of having Ana in my arms and in my bed. It just feels so right; I can't imagine having anyone else here. I know that no matter what she tells me tomorrow it will change how I feel for her.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I wake up suddenly hearing someone call out.

"Please don't….don't hurt me" Ana mumbles and I see her thrashing about on the other side of the bed.

"Please….no…." she says fearfully.

I'm frozen; I don't know what to do. I know that when people have tried to wake me from a nightmare I have lashed out and even punched Taylor a couple times. When you are in the throes of nightmare you have no sense of reality and think that someone touching you is part of the nightmare. I don't know how Ana will react but I need to do something; I can't stand to see her suffering like this. Whatever the nightmare is about it's obvious that she is afraid and in pain. I try calling her name several times and loudly but nothing works.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" She yells out thrashing about like she is trying to get away from someone.

I call her name again, no response. I try shaking her shoulders, no response. I move closer to her on the bed and force my arm under her shoulders and bring her against my chest. We are both lying side by side, pressed against one another as she continues to whimper and say 'no' over and over again. Just then there is a knock on my door and Taylor comes in with his gun drawn; he must have heard Ana scream and thought something was wrong. I shake my head at him and given the look in his eyes it's clear he understands what happened and he quietly leaves the room closing the door behind him.

I hug Ana closer to me and quietly hush her trying to find a way to comfort her. She is still asleep and I'm not sure she is aware that I am holding her as every few minutes she struggles against me. I continue to hold her tightly and after some time the whimpers stop. I take a deep breath and kiss the top of her head which is now covered in sweat from her nightmare. I hold her against me the rest of the night but I have a hard time falling asleep. Seeing her in the middle of the nightmare makes me dread what she is going to tell me tomorrow. I want to know so we can find a way to move forward but I'm afraid to hear what happened to her at the same time.

"Good Morning" I say to Ana as she begins to wake up.

"Morning Christian" she responds. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did" I lie, not wanting to tell her I've been awake since her nightmare.

"So did I," she says. "I haven't been sleeping very well this last week which I guess caught up with me last night. I slept really well next to you again."

She must not remember the nightmare and I vow not to bring it up. She was kind enough not to ask about the nightmare I had when I spent the night with her so it's only fair that I not even tell her that she had a nightmare last night. Today is going to be hard enough, I don't want her to have that hanging over her head.

"How about some breakfast?" I ask as she comes out of the bathroom.

"Sure…um do you have something I could wear under this shirt?" She blushes "I wouldn't want Taylor or Gail seeing my undies."

"We would not want that" I laugh and hand her a pair of shorts that should fit her.

"Good morning Gail" I say walking into the kicthen.

"Good Morning Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele" Gail says placing coffee and tea in front of both of us.

"Thank you Gail" Ana says surprised that Gail would know what she preferred.

"Will pancakes be okay this morning?" Gail asks.

"That's fine Gail" I answer.

"It should only be a few minutes" she says as Ana and I take our drinks to the dining room.

We eat our breakfast quietly as I don't think either of us knows what to say. We both know the conversation that is about to occur but neither of us want to bring it up especially not over breakfast. I reply to a few emails as I finish breakfast and Ana continues to push her food around her plate. After a few minutes it becomes clear that Ana is not going to finish her breakfast. She hasn't eaten very much which normally would upset me but I'm sure her nerves are making it difficult to eat this morning. I tried reassuring her last night that nothing she tells me today will change how I feel about her but seeing her like this right now, I don't think she believes me. I vow to show her that nothing will change.

"Are you finished?" I ask.

"Yes" she answers quietly.

"Another cup of tea?" I ask.

"No," she answers. "Can we just get this over with?"

"Of course, let's go into the great room" I say taking her hand and leading her away from the table.

We sit next to each other on the couch and I put a throw blanket over her legs so she doesn't get cold. She hasn't made eye contact with me since we started breakfast which makes me worry because I can't tell what she's thinking. I put my fingers under her chin and lift her face so I can see her eyes and they tell me everything I need to know. She is scared, beyond scared.

"We don't have to do this" I say.

"Yes we do" she replies sadly. "I want you to know."

"Ana, nothing will change how I feel about you" I say. "You have completely changed me since you bumped into me a couple months ago. I find myself thinking about you every day and looking forward to seeing you whenever I can. I look forward to our texts and late night calls. I am falling for you and nothing you are about to say will change that."

"We'll see" She says taking a deep breath. "My life was perfect before my dad died. He traveled a lot for work but always spent all his time with us whenever he was home. He never complained about work or being away from us even though he would always tell us how much he missed us when he was away. My mom was wonderful then too; she was involved in all my school events and was even president of the PTO for my elementary school. It was truly as if we were the perfect family."

"But then everything changed" she continues after a brief pause. "My dad was killed by a drunk driver in the middle of a work day when he was traveling for work. That day my entire world as I knew it changed. My mother fell into a deep depression and rarely got out of bed. This went on for several months before she decided to start dating again. I thought this was a good sign thinking she was trying to get on with her life even though I hated the idea that she was trying to replace my dad but at least it was better than her being depressed. She dated a few guys and eventually got married to a man named Bob. He was actually a very nice guy and tried hard to please my mother but she never really seemed happy. I didn't mind him; he was always nice to me. They divorced after two and a half years of marriage. After the divorce my mom jumped from guy to guy and state to state, the next guy she was with she married and divorced about a year later. It was around this time that she started drinking pretty heavily; she showed up one night telling me she had flown to Vegas and got married. That night we picked up moved and moved to Texas to move in with this random stranger she had known for 24 hours. He introduced her to recreational drugs and I would often find them smoking pot when I got home from school. They divorced six months later after she cheated on him with a guy named Stephen that she met at a bar."

"Do you need to take a break?" I ask after a few minutes of silence, squeezing her hand.

"No, I need to do this" she answers taking a deep breath. "She married Stephen the week after her divorce from Michael was finalized and we moved to California. Stephen had no job; he supposedly had been injured at work, sued the company and received a rather large settlement that he lived off of. Since he didn't work, my mom didn't work either and they both just lived off of whatever money was from this settlement for the first year. They drank every day sometimes passing out for several days straight, which honestly was better than them being drunk. Eventually they started experimenting other drugs; I'm still not sure all the kids they tried but I know they were big into prescription drugs and occasionally ecstasy. After about a year the money begin to run out and that's when things really changed. They both tried working but neither could hold a job for more than a few weeks because of their drinking and drug use. My mom seemed better at hiding it at work then Stephen did so she was often able to hold down a job for a month or two. Money was always tight because someone was always not working. Most days there was no food in the house and if it wasn't for the free lunch program at school I wouldn't have had anything to eat. Weekends were the worst because there was no food unless I managed to save some of the fruit from my lunches during the week which still wouldn't fill me up. Any money they did have they would spend on drugs or alcohol."

"That's horrible Ana" I say quietly truly shocked at what her living environment must have been like.

"We haven't gotten to horrible yet Christian" she says sadly. "Do you mind if I get a drink for this next part? I know it's early but I think I need some liquid encouragement."

"Of course" I say. "Would you like wine or something stronger?"

"Oh I think stronger would be better" she says looking at the floor. "You might want a glass too."

I pour us both a glass of bourbon and place the bottle on the coffee table in front of us. Ana takes a large drink from her glass closing her eyes as she swallows. Her eyes stay closed for several minutes and she seems to be dreading continuing. I put my glass down, reach over and kiss her deeply trying to convey how strongly I feel for her in the kiss. I wrap my arms tightly around her shoulders and hold her close to me for several minutes.

"Thank you" she whispers sitting herself up.

"I'm here, no matter what you say, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere" I reassure her.

"One Friday night my mother was at work and Stephen was passed out in his room drunk as usual. Suddenly he came storming out of his room yelling about a missing bottle of pills that he couldn't find. He was accusing me of stealing them even though, I swear Christian, I've never touched any of the stuff they did. I tried telling him that but he kept saying I stole it. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me on the floor. I tried crawling to my room but I wasn't fast enough. He took his belt off and beat me with it as I tried to get away. That was the first time anyone ever hit me; growing up my parents never once raised a hand to me. Later that night my mom came home and found me crying in my room, my ass was still hurting from the beating. I told her what Stephen had done thinking that maybe she would leave him and you know what she said?" Ana asks looking straight at me full of anger.

"What?" I asked quietly scared to hear what her response was.

"She said, next time don't take his drugs and proceeded to tell me that she couldn't leave him because she had too many bills to pay on her own. She walked out of my room after she practically defended him and what he did. She believed him that I had stolen their pills when in reality they both had used them the night before which is why he was passed out. For the next two years the beating continued whenever he was angry. At first he only did it when my mom was at work, but as their drug use increased he beat me whenever he felt like it often in front of my mother who would not say a word. She sat by and watched him beat me until I was bleeding through my clothes. He would use anything he could get his hands on: his belt, tree branches, wooden spoons, paddles you name it. The last time he beat me was the last worst" she says pausing.

She pours another glass of bourbon before drinking it all in one swift gulp. I gently rub small circles on her back and wait for her to find the confidence to continue. A few moments pass by before she opens her eyes again and leans back against the couch.

"My mom had been gone for a few days before that; I can't even remember where she went. Honestly I don't know if she left him and just left me with him or what. I don't remember her ever saying anything about leaving; she just wasn't there one morning. It was mid-morning on a Saturday when he came storming out of his room yelling at me for not being in school. I tell him it's Saturday but he continues to argue with me because he was supposed to work on Thursday but he didn't work yet so I must be lying. He calls someone who must confirm that it is Saturday and he throws the phone across the room in breaking into dozens of pieces. He screams at me that it's my fault he lost the job because I didn't wake him. He had been passed out for three straight days! He slams me into the coffee table by my hair so I am kneeling in front of the table with my face and chest pressed hard into the table. He pulls my sweat pants down" Ana says finishing her glass of bourbon.

"Refill?" I ask quietly and she nods. I'm dreading what I'm going to hear next but I can't let her know what I'm feeling. I already want to kill the guy who did this to her and I make a mental note to have Welsh run a complete background check on him and order security on him to insure he cannot ever get near Ana again.

"Up until this point he had never beat me without clothing so I began to panic. He left my underwear on, but it did nothing to ease the pain. Before the first hit came he told me the words I will never forget; he said 'your ass is going to look beautiful tonight.' He beat me repeatedly with his belt; when I screamed in pain he would laugh at me. At one point he finally stopped and I thought he was done. He lifted my head by my hair so he could see me and he said if I moved he would kill me. He banged me head into the coffee table and left the room. I should have gotten up, I should have ran, I should have left then-" she says with tears pouring down her face.

"It's okay," I say bringing her onto my lap and holding her tightly against my chest. "You were scared; you believed he would kill you."

"He came back with a thick wooden cane" she says and my heart drops. A cane beating can do significant damage to someone's body if the person using it does not know its strength. "I don't know where it came from but I had never seen it before. He beat me hard with the cane, mostly across my lower back but also on my ass and my thighs. It hurt so bad and I eventually passed out in the middle of the beating right on the coffee table."

"Oh god Ana, I'm so sorry" I whisper kissing the top of her head and holding her tightly.

"The next thing I remember is waking up a few hours later tied to my bed with duct tape. My pants were pulled back up thankfully but there was a note next to my bed telling me not to move and that he would be back with a present for me. I was immediately afraid of what more he could possibly do to me and as soon as I managed to free myself I packed two bags and left. I had a few friends from school but I didn't know that I could trust any of their parents to not bringing me home. There was no way I could risk going back. I spent the remaining year of high school homeless; I found an abandoned building where several homeless people were staying and I managed to convince them to let me stay there too. My guidance counselors kept trying to talk to me telling me that I looked like something was bothering but I couldn't bring myself to tell them what happened. I knew the moment I said anything social services would be involved and my biggest fear was that they would force me to go home. My mother was a very good liar and I was afraid she would be able to convince them that she was clean and sober and no longer with Stephen. I couldn't risk it so I lied and told them everything was fine. They told me at one point the report card they sent home had been returned in the mail because 'we' no longer lived there. It was at that point I realized that they had moved and I had no idea where my mother was" she explains.

"How did you survive? How did you end up in Seattle?" I ask truly amazed at everything she has been through and absolutely disgusted that a supposed man could do that to a little girl.

"The first few months were the worst but eventually I learned" she explains. "I found a part time job at a local fast food place and was able to open a bank account to save a little money. I befriended a janitor at school who I'm pretty sure knew I was homeless and she would let me in school before it opened so I could shower every day. I used the little money I had from my job to buy food on the weekends so I wouldn't go hungry. Eventually I started thinking about college and what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I didn't want to be homeless forever. My guidance counselor gave me brochures on several colleges and I fell in love with Seattle based on the picture on the student guide for WSU. The next thing I had to figure out what how to pay for college. I couldn't get a student loan because I had no address to use on the paperwork. My guidance counselor assisted me in applying for several grants and scholarships and let me use the school address for the application after I told her we had problems getting mail at home. Once I got accepted to WSU, I realized I didn't have enough funding to pay for housing so essentially I was homeless again. You would be surprised at the number of homeless shelters Seattle has compared to northern California where I lived before. Shortly after I turned 18, I was started checking out the homeless shelters and found a few that were halfway decent. And that's how I ended up here."

"Ana, I don't know what to say" I say hugging her tightly. "You truly amaze me."

"What? I do? Why?" she asks looking up at me shocked.

"Why?" I repeat. "Look at everything you have overcome and yet you have accomplished so much. You did so much on your own with no support or help from anyone. I know very few people who could have survived what you did."

"I didn't have a choice" she says simply. "I knew if I didn't want to be homeless I needed to do something with my life. I didn't have any help honestly because I didn't trust anyone. I didn't trust anyone in high school to not tell my secret, I didn't trust anyone at the homeless shelters who tried to get me in housing programs. I was determined to do it by myself. The room I rented that you saw was a place I got completely on my own. The first room I rented was in a house which was eventually busted in a drug raid that my caseworker at a shelter helped set up. Although she couldn't have known it would be busted for drugs it was a quick reminder to not trust anyone and to do things myself."

"I am so proud of you and I hope you know that you can trust me" I say. "I would never hurt you."

"I've never told anyone what I've told you today" she whispers.

"What about Kate?" I asked surprised.

"No, no one" she answers.

We sit in silence for a long time and within a few minutes I realize Ana has fallen asleep in my lap. The lack of sleep all week combined with telling her story must have taken its toll on her. I wait awhile to make sure she is fully asleep and then I carry her upstairs to my room. She barely moves as I place on her on bed and put the blankets over her. I sit in the chair opposite of the bed and type a quick email to Welsh requesting a full background check on Stephen and on Ana's mother. I am beyond disgusted with this man and vow to ruin him in any way I possibly can. Ana's mother is no better; she literally sat back and watched her daughter get beat. How could a mother watch her own child bet beat and not want to stop it? How could she be so selfish? I vow to find Ana's mother and keep her as far away as possible from Ana. I lay in bed next to Ana and pull her close to me with her back against my chest and her head on my arm. I quickly fall asleep next to Ana's warm body realizing the last couple of days have been very exhausting for me as well.

* * *

Author's Note: Many of you left comments on the previous chapter hoping that Christian would not react angrily to Ana's confession about being a virgin and I hope I did you all justice. I never understood why Christian was so angry at Ana for being a virgin in the books and in my story given her past I felt it was understandable that she wouldn't have been intimate with anyone.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Thank you for your wonderful feedback on the last couple of chapters!

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy_

**Chpt. 19: Ana's POV**

I wake up feeling very hot, it's as if I'm sleeping in an oven. I briefly panic for a moment before realizing I am in Christian's bed. I'm not entirely sure how I got here; the last thing I remember was sitting on his lap in the living room. I still cannot believe I told him everything; I've never told anyone about Stephen before. I've never said the words aloud of what he did to me. Christian was amazing the entire time; he just sat and listened to me. He held me when it became too much and let me cry when I needed to. I look over and realize why I'm so hot; Christian is cuddled up right behind me holding me tightly. I try to wiggle free so I can get up and use the bathroom but Christian's grip tightens.

"No, don't go," he whispers in my ear.

"Christian" I say. "I need to use the bathroom, please let me up."

"Ugh, if you must" he jokes.

I use the bathroom and quickly wash up before returning to Christian's room. I take a moment and look out the balcony doors at the beautiful view he has from his room. The view from his great room was breathtaking but this view is even more beautiful if that's even possible. From here I swear I can see the space needle.

"What time is it?" Christian asks groggily.

"Almost six" I answer looking at the clock next to his bed.

"Holy shit!" Christian exclaims sitting up. "We were asleep for almost six hours!"

"Guess we were both tired" I say laughing. "You carried me up here?"

"Yes, you feel asleep on my lap and I thought this would be more comfortable then sleeping on the couch" he explains.

"Clearly it was very comfortable since I slept so long. I've never taken that long of a nap in the middle of the day. I think the last week caught up with me; I was having nightmares almost every night" I say sadly.

"So was I" Christian confesses. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes, actually I am" I answer.

Christian calls Gail from his cell phone and asks her to prepare something for dinner and tells her whatever she prepares will be fine. I wander back into his bathroom taking in the ridiculous size of the room for one person. Besides a very large soaking tub there is a tile shower with dual shower heads and a large counter top with double sinks. For a man who never let a woman into his bedroom before, he has a bathroom that is clearly built for two with much thought being put into the space to insure there was adequate room for two people to use the bathroom together.

"Christian?" I ask bravely.

"Hmmmm?" he answers.

"Take a shower with me?" I ask.

"Uh….I….Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes," I say with somewhat confidence.

I need to do this; I need him to see my scars and know that he is okay with them or our relationship won't be able to continue. I don't know how I will handle him touching them but his shower is large enough that there is plenty of room for both of us. Christian walks into the bathroom and pulls me in for a deep kiss before turning the shower water on.

"We don't have to-" he begins to say.

"Christian, I need to do this" I say interrupting him. "No one has ever seen my scars before, not all of them anyway. I know you saw the ones at the club that night and I am forever grateful that you did not say anything then. I honestly don't know what I would have said to you had you brought it up. But now, I trust you and I need to know if you are going to be okay with them. If they disgust you too much-"

"Don't even think that Ana!" He exclaims. "You are beautiful; every single part of your body is beautiful."

Easy for him to say while I am standing in front of him fully clothed. I slowly step out of Christian's shorts and pull of his shirt. I remove my underwear and bra, taking a deep breath before opening my eyes. I look into Christian's eyes and I am surprised that I don't see disgust there like I thought I might. He still hasn't seen the worse scars, as the ones on my front have faded significantly compared to the ones on my back.

" .Beautiful" he says to me, kissing me in between each word.

I take another deep breath and turn around showing him the true scars. I hear him gasp clearly taking in the full extent of all the scars I have from the hundreds of beatings that Stephen inflicted over the years. If you look closely at some of the scars you can see the imprint from the belt buckle or the holes that were in belt. Christian doesn't say anything but I hear him taking his clothes off behind me. He hasn't run yet, which is a good sign. I turn around and once again am surprised that I do not see disgust in his eyes.

"I am so sorry for what happened to you Ana" he says kissing me. "I realize now why you thought I would leave you after your told me what happened to you. It wasn't what you told me that made you think that. You thought I would run when I saw your scars, right?"

"Yes," I answer. "Christian I know the scars are ugly and grotesque. I expect most people to find them a turn off which is why I've never been able to be intimate with anyone."

"Ana, yes your scars are ugly" Christian admits and I suddenly begin to worry that this is it. This is when he says they disgust him too much…

"But they do not define who you are" He continues. "Your scars are like badges of honor, they signify everything that you have been through and that you survived. They are a part of who you are today. You are beautiful and I am only sorry that you have to wear a constant reminder of everything that he did to you."

"Christian-" I say noticing the small round circles that are randomly placed in several spots on his chest.

"There are more" he turns around and where I see at least a dozen more small scars.

"The cigarettes?" I say remembering how he told me his mother's pimp would put his cigarettes out on him.

"Yes" He says taking a deep breath. "These are my scars."

I reach up and put my arms around his neck, standing on my tip toes kissing him. He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me closer to him so our chests are touching as he deepens the kiss. I moan as his gently sucks on my lip before his tongue begins to explore my mouth. I am suddenly aware that I am standing naked in front of Christian as I feel his erection pushing against my clit slightly.

"We should get in the shower before the water gets cold" I say pulling away.

"Of course" Christian says breathlessly.

Christian strips out of his pants and underwear, his erection springing free as he steps into the shower with me. Just as quickly he lips find mine again and I feel the passion and hunger in his kiss once again. I am stunned; I never expected any guy would ever still want me after seeing my scars but it is evident that Christian still wants me as his erection is rubbing against my clit again. Christian reaches up and pinches my nipple while sucking on my bottom lip causing me to moan again. My hand reaches down and I begin rubbing Christian's erection slowly as he gasps into my mouth.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" Christian moans slightly pulling away. I grab his head with my other hand pull him back in for a deep kiss as I continue to stroke his erection.

I gently suck on his top lip as I increase the pace of my strokes. Christian moans again grabbing my breast hard and pinching my nipple. I gently push Christian against the tile wall causing him to quickly open his eyes clearly surprised at my move. I continue stroking his erection and begin to kiss his neck in small pecks before landing on his chest. I hear him gasp as I kiss each scar on his chest; I am slightly worried about his reaction to this but I keep stroking his erection hoping that his fears will be eased by the distraction. After kissing the last one, I continue my path down until my mouth finds his erection and I take him in deep to the back of my throat.

"Oh God Ana!" Christian exclaims. "Don't stop…."

I continue sucking his erection and stroking the base of it with my hand as my other hand fondles his balls. I can feel him tense up and his moans get loader which I find turns me on even more knowing that I can have such an effect on him. I take him in deeply several more times before he releases himself deep in my mouth. I continue sucking him and stroking him helping him to ride out his orgasm until he pulls me up for a deep kiss. I wonder for a moment if he can taste himself in the kiss, but my attention is quickly diverted as he begins rubbing my clit with his hand. He turns us around so this time it is my back that is up against the tile of the shower as I gasp in his mouth at the sudden coolness. His other hand finds my nipple and his mouth quickly finds the other one as he continues to attack my nipples and my clit. I am moaning loudly and find myself pushing against the hand that is playing with my clit needing more as I find myself getting more and more turned on. Christian's mouth pulls away from my nipple suddenly and I whimper with the loss of touch. He places small kisses my stomach and continues to kiss me further down until his mouth reaches my clit. He gently moves my legs apart and he begins kissing and sucking on my folds.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan at the sudden feeling. I can feel the orgasm rising even more and know that when I come it is going to be hard.

He continues to lick, suck and nibble on my folds as his thumb applies the slightest pressure to my clit. I am overwhelmed at all the feelings and grab a hold of his head not wanting him to stop. He sucks on my folds harder before inserting his tongue inside me.

"Oh God….Christian!" I exclaim. "Oh My…."

His moves his tongue in and out mimicking the movements of his fingers inside me the last time we were intimate. He suddenly removes his tongue and starts sucking on me again.

"Christian….please" I find myself begging; I am so empty.

"What do you need Ana?" He pulls his mouth away just as his thumb gently touches my clit.

"Ah…..Please I need to come" I beg. I can't believe I just said that but right now I am teetering on the edge and I need to come.

"It will be my pleasure" he says quickly inserting a finger deeply inside of me as his mouth sucks on my clit hard.

"Oh God, Yes! Don't stop, please don't stop!" I moan.

He inserts another finger inside me and gently tugs on my folds with his teeth before his mouth returns to my clit. I am so close to coming, my body is on fire. I find myself bucking my hips against his hand needing more to let go. I don't know what it is…I'm so close….I need to come.

"Christian…"I beg but I'm not sure for what.

"Let go, Ana….give it to me" he says curling his fingers slightly hitting a new spot inside of me as he sucks my clit hard.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHRISTIAN!" I scream as the orgasm rips through me. This was so much stronger than the last orgasm he gave me I don't know what to think.

Christian's mouth continues its assault on my clit as his fingers continue to pump in and out of me. Just as my orgasm ends I can feel another one beginning again. _How can my body want more?_ Christian must feel the orgasm building again as he doesn't let up his intensity. He removes his fingers and sucks on my folds as he puts my leg over his shoulder. This slight change in position gives him more access to my core I realize as his tongue is once again inside of me this time deeper. He ignores my clit as his tongue moves in and out of me and I grab hold of his head as I feel the orgasm quickly approaching. I've heard of woman experiencing multiple orgasms but never experienced one myself of course. I couldn't believe my body was responding so quickly and intensely to Christian.

"Ohhhhhh…..Ahhhhhhhhhhh" I say as Christian pinches my clit between his fingers as he stabs me deeply with his tongue.

Just then I feel Christian's finger join his tongue on its attack on my core. For a few moments his tongue and finger battle each other but then he begins gently sucking on my folds as his finger plunges deeply in and out of my body quickly bringing me to the edge once again.

"Please….Christian….don't stop….please" I beg as he inserts a second finger inside of me.

His fingers are working their magic on me as his mouth finally finds my clit again. He begins sucking hard on my clit and occasionally pulls on it with his teeth which sends me even closer my peak. Once again I'm teetering on an orgasm, I push his head against my clit urging him to suck harder. I need something more….I don't know what…I'm so close.

"Christian….Please….I'm so close" I again beg.

Christian must sense what I need and gently inserts a third finger inside of me which intensifies the feeling so much more. I feel so full I don't know what to think as he slowly moves his fingers in and out of me. I've never felt so full, I can feel every slight movement he makes with his fingers.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH….That's it….Don't stooooooooooooooop!" I scream as the orgasm rips through me and I explode as my hips grind against his hand riding my orgasm out even longer.

Christian gently puts my leg back on the floor and stands up kissing me passionately as his fingers continue to slowly move in and out of me allowing me to slowly come down from my orgasm before completely removing his fingers.

"Oh my god, Christian" I say. "That was amazing."

"You are amazing Ana" he says kissing me deeply.

"Christian?" I ask, not sure if this is the right time to bring this up.

"What?" he answers.

"I know this is probably the worse time to bring this up, but what exactly are we doing?" I ask bravely.

"Doing? I'm not sure what you're asking?" He says looking concerned.

"I realize I'm new to dating and I don't know if there are rules or anything about other people…" I stumble trying to explain what I want to ask.

"Whoa, other people?" Christian asks shocked. "Are you saying you are seeing someone else?"

"What? No! Of course not" I answer quickly. "You are the only person I have ever dated."

"So what are you –" he pauses realizing what I'm asking. "Oh, no Ana I'm not with anyone else. In all of my relationships I always insist on monogamy. I wouldn't be able to handle the idea of anyone else touching you or kissing you."

"I wasn't sure….like I said this is all new to me" I explains shyly.

"It's all new to me too Ana, we will learn this together. Just know that there is no one but you for me" he says kissing me.

"Good" I say smiling at him.

We get dressed and find our way down to the kitchen where Gail has left dinner sitting on two hot plates with a glass of wine chilling in a bucket of ice.

"Would you like to eat or in the dining room?" Christian asks.

"Here is fine" I answer sitting on the stool at the breakfast bar.

"Don't you have to go to work sometime Christian?" I ask realizing Taylor had said he hadn't been to the office in several days before he brought me here.

"Yes," he says sighing. "I should probably go in tomorrow for a couple hours."

We eat the remainder of our meal in a comfortable silence. I feel so comfortable with Christian now that he knows everything. I still worry how I will feel when he touches my back but I think my reaction lessened by the fact that he already knows what is on my back and how it got there.

"Will you spend the night with me again?" Christian asks. "Taylor can bring you home tomorrow when he drops me off at work."

"Sure, I don't have to work until the dinner shift the following day" I answer looking forward to sleeping next to him again.

"Good, I like sleeping with you" he says kissing me.

"Me too" I say kissing him back.

We watch a movie in his great room with the fireplace providing soft warmth as we cuddle next to each other on the couch. With everything that we have told each other in the last two days about our childhoods I cannot help but feel closer to Christian than I have to anyone ever in my life. For once in my life I feel like I could trust someone. Once again I must have fallen asleep on the couch with Christian because I feel him laying me down on the bed and covering me with a blanket.

"Join me?" I ask.

"Just changing my clothes, I will be right back" he says walking into his closet and changing.

He quickly returns to bed and pulls me close to him as we both fall asleep quickly. Just before I fall into a deep sleep I swear I hear Christian say "I love you Ana." I hold my breath for a moment trying to figure out if I heard what I thought I heard or not. Within a couple minutes I realize Christian has fallen asleep and before I starting worrying too much about what I might have heard I quickly fall asleep as well.

The next morning Christian quickly gets ready for work and we have breakfast together before leaving. Taylor drives Christian to work first as Christian has a conference call first thing that he was just notified of. The building Christian works in is huge; it's easily twenty or thirty stories high and is the tallest building on the block. I don't know if Christian owns the entire building or only rents out a few floors as I really don't know much about the size of his staff in Seattle.

Taylor drops me off at the apartment and I quickly feed Murray and throw a load of wash in the machine. Gail was kind enough to wash the clothes I wore to Christian's the other day so I had something clean to wear home.

"Hello?" I answer my phone. Christian had all my calls forwarded to the new phone before we turned off the old prepaid phone.

"Ana it's Antonio, how are you?" he asks.

"I'm good, how are you?"

"I'm in a bind again," he says sighing. "Can you help us out today just for lunch?"

"Sure…I can be there in few minutes, just let me get changed into my uniform" I say hanging up the phone.

I can't complain that I should have been off today as the extra money is always nice. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I just assume I will spend the night with Christian although we never discussed it. I quickly change into my uniform, sending Christian a text letting him know I'm working the lunch shift before walking to work.

"Ana thank you again for coming in today!" Antonio says as soon as I walk in the door.

"No problem Antonio, I'm glad I could help" I reply and check out the current area assignments before heading to my section.

The lunch shift is busier than normal but not as busy as Christmas Eve was at least. I am still on cloud nine throughout the lunch service as I remember the last couple of days I spent with Christian. Yes the days were very emotional and we poured our hearts out to each other but I truly believe doing so has brought us to much closer to each other.

"Ana can I see you for a moment when you finish your last table?" Antonio asks approaching me in the kitchen as I preparing the final bill for my last table.

"Of course Antonio, I will be there in a few minutes" I answer bringing the bill to the table.

"Please come in Ana" Antonio says after I knock on the door. "Have a seat."

"Thank you" I reply sitting down across from Antonio.

"Ana, I want to first compliment on you the wonderful job you have always done for me over the years. No matter how short of notice I give, you are always willing to help us out and I greatly appreciate it" Antonio says.

"Thank you, I'm always glad to help" I say still unsure where this conversation is going.

"I have a proposition for your" Antonio begins. "I would like you to become my assistant manager."

"Antonio, thank you for thinking so highly of me but I cannot work for you full time since I'm still in school" I say apologizing.

"I realize that Ana" He says. "I would still like you to be my assistant manager even on a part time basis. You were wonderful on Christmas eve and really understood what was needed to make the services run smoothly. I would like to propose that your primary responsibilities consist of all private events and holiday services. I would still hand the day to day tasks but you would be in charge of scheduling and planning for those events. You will receive a significant increase in pay to compensate you for the additional responsibilities and you would receive a larger percentage of the tips from the private events."

"Antonio, I am truly honored" I say shocked. "I would love the opportunity help you in anyway possible."

"Wonderful Ana!" he says as we begin discussing the couple private events he has booked over the next couple of months which aren't very many. The next busy night at the restaurant we anticipate will be Valentine's Day and Antonio asks me to begin thinking of staffing needs for the day working under the assumption we will have two dinner services again and both will likely be booked entirely. Antonio tells me he won't need me tomorrow so I still have the day off but he asks me to come in an hour before my shift typically starts on New Year's Day to discuss my initial scheduling ideas for Valentine's Day.

_Dinner tonight? –C_

_Sure. On my way home now –A _

I walk quickly back to the apartment for once enjoying how everything seems to be falling into place for me. I was surprised to say the least that Antonio offered me the position of assistant manager because his only other assistant managers have all worked for him full time. It was nice to hear that he appreciates my hard work and recognizes my abilities even when I don't always have confidence in myself.

_Reservations tonight for 5. I will pick you up at 430 –C_

_Ok. Dressy? –A _

_Somewhat –C _

Well that's vague, I think to myself. Somewhat dressy…once again I raid Kate's closet as I have next to nothing that can be considered dressy. When Kate finally gets back from her vacation I vow to ask her to take me shopping, I have to get nicer things to wear now that I'm actually going out on dates! I find a beautiful silver dress in Kate's closet with black shoes that I think will be perfect tonight. I'm not sure what somewhat dressy is but I think this will work. I quickly shower, dress and put the finishing touches on my make up when Christian knocks on the door.

"Wow" Christian says looking me up and down. "You look beautiful!"

"Thank you" I say shyly.

"That dress is truly stunning on you" he replies kissing me and whispers in my ear "It hugs your curves in all the right places."

"I….oh…." I say blushing.

"Let's go to dinner shall we?" Christian holds out his hand.

I take his hand and we walk outside to find Taylor standing next to the car as usual waiting for us. Christian tells me about his day as Taylor drives us to wherever we are going for dinner tonight. I excitedly tell Christian about my conversation with Antonio today and my new responsibilities at the restaurant.

"That's wonderful news Ana! I'm so proud of you!" Christian exclaims kissing me.

"Thanks!" I reply. "I'm looking forward to talking with Antonio on New Year's Day about some ideas I have to make dinner service on Valentine's day run more smoothly. Our first dinner service on Christmas eve was a mess but the second service ran more smoothly once we put a few different processes in place."

"He must have seen how well you did on that service and decided to make it a more permanent arrangement" Christian.

"I guess" I reply. "I've been working there for so long now you just kind of get a feeling of what will work and what won't work. I think it's difficult for Antonio because he handles more of the books and inventory and less of running the house. I'm looking forward to a new challenge."

"Sir, ma'am we are here" Taylor says stopping the car.

Christian gets out of the car and takes my hand to help me in stepping out. I am confused when I see we are at a marina surrounded by boats. I know Christian's text said we would be going for dinner tonight but I don't see any restaurants near the dock. Christian gives nothing away as we walk down the dock passing several boats before finally stopping in front of a very large one near the end of the dock. The boat's name is _The Grace_.

"This is your boat?" I asks shocked.

"Yes, I thought we would have dinner aboard tonight" he answers helping me step onto the boat. "We won't actual sail out tonight but I have arranged a wonderful dinner to be served onboard."

"Wow," is all I can manage to say.

"It's just dinner Ana" he says shyly.

He gives me a tour of the boat which has a master bedroom, two smaller guest bedrooms, a small office, a living room, a kitchen, a dining room and plenty of deck space to entertain. The boat is beautifully decorated with pale blues and dark browns throughout the rooms. We go up to the deck where soft music is now playing as we watch the waves crash against the shore not too far away.

"This is beautiful Christian" I say. "Thank you for sharing it with me."

"I can't imagine having anyone else out here" Christian says wrapping his arms around my stomach and pulling my back to his chest.

"I've never been on a boat before" I confess.

"In the spring when the weather is warmer I will actually take you out on the water" he says; it makes me smile to know that he is thinking of us in a few months.

"That would be nice" I reply.

"Dance with me?" He asks just as another song comes on.

"Okay" I say.

Christian takes my hand and pulls me close to his chest as his other hand settles on my waist. He moves me all over the deck in perfect harmony with the music. We continue dancing until I lose track of the number of songs that have played. He slows down and gently pulls me closer to him, kissing me deeply. As his tongue slowly begins to caress my lips I take his hand and put it against my lower back before moving my hands to around his neck. I tense just slightly at the sudden touch on my back but deepen the kiss to distract me. It works and my body slowly begins to relax as our tongues continue to dance with each other.

"Sir, Ma'am" I hear a voice trying to get our attention.

"What?" Christian says harshly.

"Dinner is served in the dining room when you are ready" a woman in a waitress uniform says before returning to the kitchen.

We look at each other and start laughing like two teenagers who just got busted by their parents for making out. We go into the dining room where we are served a delicious meal of grilled chicken over pasta with a summer vegetable medly and a glass of red wine. The meal is delicious and by the end of the evening we are both full.

"Will you spend New Year's Eve with me Ana?" Christian asks shyly.

"I would love to Christian" I answer smiling.

"Would you like to spend the night with me again?" Christian asks.

"Can we just stop at the apartment to grab some clothes?" I answer.

"I can have clothes sent over, I have a personal shopper who can pick something out perfect for you" Christian.

"What? No, that's quiet okay" I say shocked. "It'll take me a few minutes to grab a change of clothes and some pajamas."

"if you insist" he says. "But I kind of liked you sleeping in my shirts."

"Okay, no pajamas" I reply blushing.

Taylor drives us to the apartment where Christian accompanies me inside to pack my overnight bag. I pack two changes of clothes since I'm not sure where I will end up sleeping tomorrow night. I don't know if this is moving too fast but I really enjoy sleeping with Christian and find that I sleep so much better when he is next to me. Taylor drives us back to Christian's penthouse and takes my bag to Christian's bedroom.

"Another dance?" Christian asks hitting a button causing music to play throughout the room.

"Sure" I answer.

Christian again takes my hand and places his other hand on my hip guiding me in perfect tune of the music. I take his hand and move it again to the center of my back and continue dancing with him. I am determined to become familiar with his touch on my back and I find being distracted helps me feel less anxious when he does it. We dance for several songs before Christian hits a button to stop the music. He takes my hand and leads us to his bedroom where his lips quickly find mine before the door is even shut.

"Thank you" he whispers between kisses. "Thank you for trusting me."

He puts his arms around my lower back and pulls me closer to him kissing me passionately. My hands immediately go to his hair pulling his face closer to mine. I feel his erection once again pressing against my clit as we continue to kiss and grope each other hungrily. Christian's hands find the zipper on the back of the dress and he looks at me questioning. I nod my head and almost instantly I feel the zipper going down. He pulls the dress off my shoulders and it falls to the floor as I step out of the dress. His hands are everywhere: on my breasts, on my back, pushing me against his erection. I pull his jacket off and unbutton his shirt while sucking on his lip. Soon we are both standing there naked, our bodies rubbing against one another as our hands explore each other completely for the first time.

Christian lays me down on the bed before lying next to me and urging me closer to him. He mouth attacks mine as my hand reaches down to find his rock hard erection between our bodies. His hand finds my breast as his mouth lowers to my nipple. I continue stroking his erection and he mouth returns to my mine.

Suddenly Christian stops what he is doing and pulls away for me. I look at him confused as I try to catch my breath and he winks at me. He turns himself around so that his erection is now inches from my face and that my clit is so close to his face I can feel him breathe on it. I quickly figure out what he's trying to do and grab his erection guiding it into my mouth. Christian grabs my ass and pulls me so I roll on top of him. This is challenging since his erection was in my mouth but I manage to follow his movement and am now laying on top of him which provides me which a much better angle to take him deeper. Christian pulls my legs apart, putting one knee on each side of his head and he dives into my folds which are now drenching in anticipation.

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I moan momentarily pulling his erection from my mouth.

Christian is sucking hard on my folds as he rubs my clit with his fingers applying just the right amount of pressure. I turn my attention back to his erection as I feel him thrusting his hips upward and I find myself having a difficult time focusing while he is attacking me down there. I take him as deep as I can from this angle and I hear him groan against my core which turns me on even more. The vibration his groan caused hit my clit in the perfect spot and I found myself pushing my hips down further to meet him. I take him in deeper several more times each time I am rewarded with a deep groan vibration to my clit. I grab hold of the base of his erection and start pumping it while sucking him hard.

"Ana….Oh….my…..Oh…" Christian mumbles as he momentarily stops focusing on me.

The sound of him receiving pleasure from my actions push me even further as I take him as deep as I can pulling myself slightly upward so I can get a better angle this time getting him to hit the back of my throat. I alternate between sucking him hard and pulling him in deeply while fondling his balls.

"Please….Ana….don't stop! Oh god….AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAA!" Christian screams before emptying himself into my mouth.

At this angle is tricky to swallow and I end up having to let some fall out coating his erection as I continue to stroke him getting every last drop out. Suddenly Christian is sucking on my folds hard and he resumes rubbing my clit. With my attention now focused on me, I push my hips towards Christian's mouth even further enjoying his attack. He pulls my ass closer to his face as his mouth finds my core. His tongue is stabbing me repeatedly as he holds my hips in place preventing me from pushing him deeper into me. His fingers continue to rub against my clit as he alternates between sucking my folds and fucking me with his tongue. My body is on fire as the orgasm builds; his constant change in attack if feeding my orgasm even further and I find myself ready to burst. When he releases my hips I find myself grinding against his face with no shame as I desperately try to find my release.

"Oh God…..I'm so close Christian! I am right there…..oh god!" I yell.

Just as I think I can't handle any more Christian's fingers enter my core and he sucks hard on my clit causing me to go over the edge.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream in passion as come all over his hand.

As I collapse on top of his I am vaguely aware of Christian's mouth on my core, his tongue bringing all my juices out. Looking up I see Christian's erection starting to stir and a take it right into my mouth shocking him as he gasps into my core. Within in seconds he is rock hard in my mouth, clearly ready for round two.


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's Note: Many thanks again to all of your for your feedback and support. I love reading the feedback and hearing what some of you think is going to happen! If you have not already done so, please check out my other story "Fifty Shades of Exploration" which has a different approach to the story._

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James and the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy_

_Chpt. 20: Christian's POV_

_"HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" I hear._

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….Please!" I hear Ana softly moan next to me._

_I turn on the light next to the bed and find she is in the middle of a nightmare again. I try calling her name but like last time it has no effect. I try shaking her arms, still nothing. I try pulling her against me to hold her since it worked last time but she is pushing me away forcefully._

_"Don't touch me! Please not the belt!" She yells loudly._

_"ANA!" I call to her._

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She yells. "One….two….please stop!"_

_I'm in agony sitting here listening to her right now. After hearing what happened to her I'm sure the nightmare she is having is her actually reliving the abuse that the lousy piece of shit excuse for a man did to her. Her counting is new though…she never told me that he made her count as he beat her. My stomach sinks as I realize this is what I made my subs do when I was punishing them. I never realized how sick and twisted the lifestyle was until I heard Ana's story. I try to remind myself that each sub was a consenting adult who could safe word at any time to end the punishment but this does little to settle my stomach as Ana again screams._

_Ana is thrashing around on the bed kicking and throwing her hands around clearly acting as if she is pushing someone away from her. I am lost, I don't know what to do or how to wake her. I can't let her continue reliving the abuse; it's probably my fault she is having a nightmare. If she didn't tell me her story the other day perhaps she wouldn't be having a nightmare. _

_"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" She yells and sits straight up in bed now awake._

_"Are you okay?" I ask her gently. _

_She looks around the room as if she is trying to figure out where she is before her eyes settle on me. She is breathing heavily and is covered in sweat; her eyes are still full of fear. She doesn't say a word as her breathing begins to calm down. I gently get up from the bed, go in the bathroom and begin to fill up the bathtub adding a few drops of lavender oil. I return to the bedroom where Ana remains on the bed having not moved since I went into the bathroom. I slowly walk over to her and pick her up from the bed; she leans into me somewhat but does not make eye contact. I gently sit her on the step that leads up to the bathtub and take off my t shirt that she slept in along with her underwear. Seeing that she is still not moving I realize if I'm going to get her in the tub I likely have to join her and put her in myself. I quickly take off my clothes, climb into the tub and gently lift her into the tub placing her on my lap. She puts her head on my chest but doesn't say anything. Her breathing is slowly returning to normal as I gently wash her with a cloth. _

_"Thank you" she whispers into my ear._

_"You don't need to thank me Ana" I kiss her gently on her forehead. _

_We sit in the tub in silence for a long time as I continue to rub circles around her back. _

_"I'm sorry" I say._

_"What are you sorry for?" she pulls away from me so she can look at me._

_"It's my fault" I say quietly._

_"What is?" she is confused now._

_"The nightmare…" I answer. "If you hadn't told me what happened, you probably wouldn't have had it."_

_"Christian" she pulls my face up so I am looking at her. "Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't seen one of my nightmares before now. I usually have one at least weekly although there are times when they happen much more often. After Christmas…they were every night. But even before then it would be miracle if I slept more than five or six hours a night. It is not your fault and probably has nothing to do with what I told you."_

_"Are you sure?" I ask shyly. _

_"I'm sure" she kisses me passionately on the lips. _

_"How about we try to go back to sleep?" I say as we both get out of the tub._

_"Sounds good" she says as we climb back into bed. _

_I pull her close to me and she quickly falls asleep; I'm sure the nightmare exhausted her. I on the other hand cannot fall asleep; my mind is racing. After an hour of trying to fall asleep and failing, I decide to go to my office and get some work done. I respond to a few emails and then quickly realize that today is New Year's Eve. Usually I would spend today working as if it were any other day, but now that I'm with Ana I want to make today special for her. I set out to start planning a perfect day to her while she is upstairs tucked into my bed. This is such a novel feeling; having Ana upstairs in my bed just feels so right. _

_Ana's POV:_

_I roll over only to find the other side of the bed empty and cold. Christian must not have slept much last night I think as I get out bed. Realizing I'm only in my underwear, I quickly grab a t shirt out of Christian's drawer and make my way downstairs to find him. I check the kitchen and the great room but don't find him. I haven't had a tour of the apartment yet so I'm not sure where else he might be. I decide to make a cup of tea, hoping that Christian will hear me and find me since I have no idea where he is in this large apartment._

_"Good Morning Ana" Gail says coming out of what I presume is her apartment._

_"Morning Gail" I smile._

_"Are you and Mr. Grey ready for breakfast?" she starts making a pot of coffee for Christian._

_"Ummmm….I'm not sure. I don't know where Christian is" I admit._

_"Oh" she says surprised. "Have you checked his office?"_

_"No…I didn't want to bother him if he was working" I say._

_"Nonsense, I'm sure he would welcome the interruption" she says shooing me out of the kitchen._

_"Christian?" I ask knocking on his door._

_"Come in" Christian says opening the door. "I didn't hear you wake up I'm sorry."_

_"That's okay, I didn't to bother you if you were working" I say kissing him._

_"I wasn't working but planning our day" he smiles._

_"Oh?" I ask._

_"Yes we have several things planned so we need to get breakfast taken care of" he says with a suspicious smile on his face. _

_We return to the kitchen where Gail has set out a bowl of fresh fruit while she finishes the eggs. We quickly eat breakfast as I try to convince Christian to tell me what is planned for today. He won't give me a hint except to tell me to wear jeans, a long sleeve shirt and a comfortable pair of sneakers. That doesn't give much away since it's cold outside it's not like I'm going to wear a pair of shorts!_

_"Skip the shower, we don't have time" he says finishing the breakfast. _

_"Yes sir" I smile and go upstairs to find something to wear from my overnight bag. _

_Getting dressed I realize this is my last clean pair of clothes so hopefully Christian doesn't have anything else planned today that I will need to wear different clothes for. When we get back from wherever we are going I will ask Christian if I can throw in a load of laundry so I at least have clothes to wear home tomorrow. I quickly remember I have to work tomorrow afternoon realizing I will need to be home fairly early so I can change into my uniform._

_"Are you ready yet Ana?" Christian asks walking into the room._

_"All done" I walk out of the bathroom._

_"Taylor!" Christian yells as we walk down the steps._

_"Yes sir?" Taylor asks appearing at the bottom of the steps._

_"Is everything ready?" Christian asks._

_"Yes sir" Taylor answers not giving anything away._

_"Let's go" Christian says grabbing my hand and walking me to the elevator._

_We take Christian's Audi SUV again and Taylors starts driving. After driving for some time I realize we have left the city and are heading to a more rural area somewhere outside of Seattle. I have not explored Seattle very much and certainly not any other parts of Washington since I moved here. Another hour passes before Christian puts a blindfold over my eyes and hushes me when I begin to protest. I can't see anything, but I feel the car pulling onto a very bumpy road. Christian reaches over and pulls me closer to him as we get jostled around in the car. _

_"We're here!" Christian says happily as he helps me out of the car._

_"Where?" I ask still blindfolded._

_Christian pulls the blindfold off and as my eyes adjust to the bright sunlight I see that we are at what seems to be a small airport of some type. Off to the side is a very large building with a picture of two people skydiving._

_"Oh My God!" I exclaim. "Are we going sky diving?"_

_"Yes" Christian says kissing me. "Is that okay?"_

_"Of course! I've always wanted to try this!" I exclaim hugging him tightly._

_"Ana, I would like you to meet Michael, this is his place. Michael this is my girlfriend Ana" Christian introduces as I blush deeply. I don't believe he has ever called me his girlfriend directly, although he never corrected anyone when they called me his girlfriend either. _

_"It's nice to meet you Ana" Michael shakes my hand._

_Michael shows us a video which explains various safety rules and demonstrates proper landing techniques so that you are not injured when you finally hit the ground. Michael gives us each a jumpsuit to put over our clothes before we head out to the plane. Christian has explained that he will jump solo as he has done hundreds of jumps but that I will be tethered to Michael essentially just enjoying the fall. Michael shows me how the parachute works and explains that he will signal me when it is time to release it. If for some reason I am unable to release it he has two releases on his suit. _

_"Are you ready?" Christian squeezes my hand as we walk out to the plane._

_"Yes! I am so excited!" I exclaim happily._

_We are seated in a small plane where we are strapped before the plane begins to take off. Michael explains that when we reach a certain altitude he will strap my suit to his suit before opening the door. Michael and Christian already have parachutes strapped to them. Surprisingly I am not nervous; I thought perhaps once we got in the air I would be but I'm more excited than anything else. Christian keeps looking over at me smiling; I am very thankful that he is sharing this with me._

_"Are you ready Ana?" Michael says loudly to me. _

_"Yes!" I exclaim. _

_I release my seat belt and stand up holding onto the ropes above my head so I don't get thrown around as Michael warned could happen while in the air. Michael steps behind me and straps me to him securely. He shows me the parachute release on my suit and explains that he will tap my shoulder when I should pull it. Josh, his business partner who assisting us today opens the door and suddenly it becomes very loud. I had momentarily forgotten that this was in the video and was surprised that I could not hear anything. Christian steps up to the door first, waves to me and then jumps. A minute or two later Michael taps me on the shoulder and points the door indicating it is our turn. We approach the door and I can barely see Christian's parachute in the far distance. Michael taps my shoulder again and we jump out of the plane mimicking the technique showed in the video. I put my arms out and feel free as we completely fall into midair. Michael taps my shoulder and I pull the parachute release which immediately must release because suddenly I am jolted upwards. We are moving quickly now, not just down but back and forth as the wind takes us wherever it wants. Looking down the ground is getting closer and I find myself disappointed that it is over so quickly but I can't wait to tell Kate about the jump! We land perfectly, getting bounced around minimally and eventually come to a complete stop before Michael unhooks me from his suit._

_"Well?" Christian asks nervously._

_"That was amazing!" I exclaim jumping up to hug him again. "That was so much fun!"_

_"I'm so glad you enjoyed it!" he says leaning in to me. "One of these times I wouldn't mind having you strapped to me when we jump."_

_I don't say anything but feel my cheeks blush what I am sure is a deep red. _

_"Come, let's go we still have a few things planned today" Christian grabs my hand and we walk back to the car where Taylor is waiting._

_Taylor drives us to a small diner where we have lunch before heading back to Seattle. Christian explains that Taylor was able to capture a few pictures of us jumping from the plane that we will be able to see on Christian's computer later today._

_"Thank you again Christian…today was amazing!" I say getting into the car to head back to Christian's apartment._

_"You're welcome, but today is not over yet" Christian says smiling._

_"Oh?" I ask._

_"I thought we would go back to my club tonight to ring in the new year, if that is okay?" he says._

_"Your club?" I'm say confused._

_"Picturesque is my club" he explains._

_"Oh, I didn't know you owned the club" I say shocked. _

_"I bought it a few years ago and turned it around making it more of an upscale establishment. I am more of a silent owner; I'm not there on a day to day basis since I have a strong manager running the club. Anyway, tonight they are having a huge New Year's Eve party that I thought might be fun to check out" Christian explains._

_"That sounds great…but…."I say._

_"If you don't want to go we can do something else" Christian interrupts quickly. "Whatever you want to do tonight."_

_"No I would love to go! I just didn't bring anything to wear to a club; can we stop at my apartment?" I ask._

_"Don't be mad, but it's all taken care of" he says._

_"Huh? What is?" I ask confused._

_"I had some clothes delivered to the apartment while we were gone so you would have something to wear" he explains. _

_"What? You had someone go through my drawers, seeing my underwear!" I am pissed now; this is a clear invasion of privacy!_

_"No! Of course not!" he kisses me on the cheek quickly. "I had my personal shopper send some clothes over so you will have a few choices of something to wear tonight and then a couple items to keep at the apartment when you stay over."_

_"Christian" I sigh. "I told you before I didn't need you to do that, I can easily just stop by my apartment and grab clothes."_

_"Yes, but I wanted to do this. It's only a few items, don't be mad…" he leans over kissing my neck up and down slowly._

_"That's not fair" I moan as he continues lightly kissing my neck._

_"Yes it is, then you can't stay mad" he says before kissing me passionately on the lips._

_"Sir, Ma'am" Taylor says gently interrupting us before we get too inappropriate. _

_We get out of the car and take the elevator to Christian's apartment where Taylor quickly disappears. I am surprised at how easily I am turned on by Christian and find myself wanting to touch him after just the brief kiss in the car. I wonder if it's like this for everyone? It's as if being intimate with him makes me feel so much closer to him. I think it's because it is something I haven't done with anyone else but the way Christian is with me I think he feels the same way. _

_"Join me in the shower?" I ask._

_"Oh I would love to" he says kissing me deeply on the lips. "But I have to get a few things done before we leave for dinner. Gail should have hung your clothes in my closet; why don't you pick something out to wear to the club tonight?"_

_"Okay," I walk upstairs and into Christian's room disappointed that he didn't join me but I have to remember that he runs a very large company that takes up a lot of time. He has pretty much spent every day with me lately so I'm sure his work is beginning to suffer._

_I walk into the closet and found exactly what I thought I would find; definitely more than a couple items of clothing. There are several cocktail dresses, some skirts, a few shirts, jeans and several different pairs of shoes. I sigh knowing that I cannot win this argument with him; I really did not need all these clothes over here but I have to admit it will be nice not to have to pack a bag every time I come over. I open a drawer and find several different sets of matching underwear and bra; I blush thinking someone picked out these items for me. At least I know Taylor hasn't seen them since he was with us all day._

_I spend a few extra minutes in the shower enjoying the hot water as it cascades over my body. I throw on a towel before returning to the closet to pick out an outfit for tonight. I chose a dark blue dress that sits off the shoulders and comes to my knees but has a small slit in the side up to my mid-thigh. I pick out a strapless white lace bra that is practically see through and a matching thong. I have never owned nice underwear or bras; really it's been whatever is on sale at Walmart or Target. However putting these items on makes me never want to take them off. I put the dress on and find that it hugs my curves perfectly while showing off just enough cleavage. _

_"Wow" I hear Christian say behind me._

_"You like?" I ask shyly turning around so he can take in the full dress._

_"You look hot!" He exclaims grabbing me by my waist, pushing me up against the closet door before kissing me passionately. _

_"You are going to have every guy checking you out tonight in that dress" he says pulling away from my lips._

_"Doubtful" I blush. "But my eyes will only be on you."_

_"I'm going to take a shower and get ready because if I stay here much longer we will never leave" He says stepping out of the closet._

_"I wouldn't mind" I smile as he walks away groaning._

_I blow dry my hair before putting it half up and curling the ends. I'm not very good with my hair; Kate usually sees that it looks good before we go out but this will have to do. Apply a very light coat of make up just as Christian steps out of the bathroom. He is dressed in a pair of soft dress pants and a button down shirt looking as sexy as ever. He could probably be wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt and still look gorgeous, I think to myself._

_"Ready?" Christian asks taking my hand as I finish putting on a pair of black heels._

_"Yes" I answer._

_Taylor drives us the short distance to the club where once again the line goes all the way down the block and seems to go around the corner. Christian takes my hand as I climb out of the car and walks with confidence up to the bouncers where we are immediately ushered inside and to the VIP area. As much as I hate to admit it, seeing how the other half live has been nice. It is motivating me even more to want to succeed and one day to be able to not have to worry about how I am going to afford rent or groceries._

_We are seated at a reserved table once again overlooking the dance floor below. The waitress brings over a bottle of wine that Christian must have ordered before we arrive and says that our meals will be brought out shortly. I just smile at Christian and the lengths he went through today to make sure everything was perfect. New Year's eve has never really been a big deal for me; until I met Kate I never bothered with the holiday. The last couple of years Kate would drag me to various clubs on New Year's Eve to watch the ball drop but I never really enjoyed going there, I just went to get her to stop bugging me about spending the night alone. Tonight is different and I find myself truly enjoying spending the last day of the year with Christian._

_"Your meals" the waitress says placing two plates of filet mignon and lobster tails in front of us._

_"That will be all" Christian dismisses the waitress._

_"Wow, this looks delicious" I say._

_"It better be" Christian smiles. "If you want something else just let me know and I will have the chef cook whatever you want."_

_"Don't be silly Christian, this is fine" I say taking a bite of the vegetables._

_Christian and I eat our dinner, drinking our wine and making small talk. He tells me more about his business and some current projects he is working on and I tell him some of my plans to review with Antonio tomorrow for the Valentine's Day service. The conversation flows easily and there is never an uncomfortable silence between us. The night passes by fairly quickly as we continue to eat the various finger food snacks that served by wait staff and listen to the music of a live band that is playing downstairs. I sip on the wine slowly not wanting to have too much to drink tonight. _

_"Dance with me?" Christian puts out his hand as he stands._

_Christian guides me to the dance floor balcony and begins dancing behind me just like the last time we were here. His hands follow the curves of my body as I rest my head back on his shoulder letting myself go with the music. He reaches down and kisses me passionately as he grinds his erection into my backside. His hands continue to move all over my body as he wiggles me against him further which I find ignites the desire in me again. I quickly turn to face him, wrapping my hands around his neck pulling him closer to me kissing him deeply again. I vaguely here people counting down to midnight in the background but my focus is on Christian and it seems his focus is on me as well. Christian grabs my ass and pulls me closer to him where I can easily feel how much he wants me through both of our clothing. _

_"I have never spent New Year's Eve with anyone; I am so glad I have you to spend it with" Christian says into my ear._

_"I wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else" I say sucking on his ear lobe._

_"I am falling so hard for you" Christian whispers into my ear as he wraps his arms around me waist and kisses me passionately._

_"Take me home" I take a deep breath before saying "Make love to me."_

* * *

_Author's note 2: I've never been sky diving so please go easy on me if I messed anything up._


	21. Chapter 21

_Author's Note: This chapter is a little shorter than the others but I promise I will make it up to you with a longer chapter next time! The moment we have all been waiting for...I hope I did you all justice :-)_

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James & The Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy_

**Chpt. 21: Christian's POV**

"Take me home, make love to me" she says into my ear.

"Ana? Are you sure? I wasn't trying to…" I stutter; I don't want her thinking I only said those things to get into her panties tonight.

"I want you Christian, please take me home" she says kissing me deeply and rubbing herself against my erection that has been present almost all night after seeing her in this dress.

"Are you sure?" I ask again as we walk out of the club hand in hand.

She squeezes my hand tightly as she climbs in the car and I take a deep breath before following her in. I would be lying if I didn't say I was nervous; I want to make tonight special for her. I have never made love to a woman; it's always just been sex. I think with Ana it will be different; I never had an emotional connection to any of the other woman and the way I feel for Ana just blows my mind. I'm suddenly distracted from worrying as Ana pulls me into her and kisses me deeply. Her tongue seeks immediate entry to into my mouth which of course I give to her. My hands roam all over her body feeling her skin through the soft fabric of the dress. My hand is slowly pushing up her dress as Taylor clears his throat awkwardly indicating our arrival back at the penthouse.

We get out of the car giggling at the second time today Taylor has interrupted us because we were too busy to notice we returned to the penthouse. Taylor sees us to the elevator and then excuses himself saying he needs to get something out of the car but I think it is just an excuse to not ride in the elevator with us. I punch in the code to the penthouse and push Ana against the wall as soon as the doors close. She gasps as my lips crush against hers and I press my body firmly against her. I am overwhelmed with the level of trust she has in me; not only to tell me her story, to show me her scars but now to trust me enough to make love to her for the first time. I vow to make tonight as pleasurable as possible for her even though I know there will be some discomfort involved.

The elevator doors open and we walk into the foyer barely breaking our contact with one another. Finally I pull away, take her hand and lead her upstairs to my bedroom.

"Ana…we don't have to…if you're not sure" I say as we walk into the bedroom.

"I'm sure Christian, I want you" she says once again bringing my lips to hers and I feel the hunger in her kiss.

"If you want to stop at any time, just say so. I won't be mad and I will stop as soon as you say so" I reassure her as my hands pull her against my erection.

She doesn't say anything but kisses me deeply as her hand reaches between us and rubs my erection through my pants. I gasp into her mouth as the sudden movement, surprised at how bold she is becoming. I quickly find the zipper on the back of her dress, pulling it down before reaching in and grabbing her firm ass. I immediately appreciate the thong she is wearing as it gives me full access to her smooth firm ass as I pull her closer to me. Her hands fumble between us as she finally gets my pants unbuttoned and gently tugs them down. I pull her dress down and take in the full view of her beautiful undergarments when she steps out of her dress.

" .beautiful" I say kissing her after each word.

She is wearing a beautiful white lace push up bra that shows of her breasts perfectly; the thong is a wonderful match to the bra and I love that it covers so little as it is almost completely see through. I reach behind her, unclasping her bra and let it fall to the floor while I gently pinch her nipple as she moans into my mouth. I feel her grinding her sex against my erection and I nearly combust right there but have to remind myself that tonight is all about her. I pull away momentarily taking off my shirt, shoes and socks before returning to Ana who immediately pulls me closer to her. My hand finds its way between us and I gently rub her clit pleased to find that her underwear almost soaked with her juices already. I gently pull her underwear off, pausing to kneel on the floor to take her shoes off. After taking off her shoes, I gently push her legs apart further and gently lick her sex. She moans quietly and I feel her move her hips closer to me inviting me in further. I gently grab her ass and bring her closer to my face; I run my tongue through her folds before sucking gently on her clit. She begins to moan loudly and her hips are wiggling trying to get more contact. I hold her firmly against me as I alternate between sucking and nipping her clit.

"Christian…..Please" she begs.

"What baby?" I ask, pulling her close to me preparing to bring her to orgasm as soon as she says the word. I love hearing her beg to come.

"I want you, I need you" she says breathless.

"Are you sure?" I ask pulling away from her clit and looking up at her.

She answers me by pulling me and kissing me deeply as she pushes my underwear down. I take a deep breath before pulling her close to me; her sex is on my erection and I can feel the heat coming from her. I guide her over to the bed, where we both manage to climb up barely breaking contact with each other. I reach into my nightstand drawer and quickly put a condom on; we didn't discuss birth control and I doubt she is on any since she wasn't sexually active until tonight. She lies on her back with her knees bent and her legs slightly open guiding me up to her face to I am on top of her. She pulls my face down to hers and sucks on my bottom lip as her hands run up and down my ribs. Holding myself up by one arm, I grab her breast and pinch her nipples before lowering my hips to they meet hers. My erection is against her clit and I can feel how wet she is as she silently moves her hips up and down begging for more.

"Are you sure?" I ask one more time, giving her the chance to stop it before anything further happens.

"I'm sure Christian, I want you…tell me you want me as much as I want you?" she whispers tugging on my ear lobe with her teeth.

"Oh Ana, you have no idea how bad I want you. It's taking everything in me not slam into you right now" I say pinching her nipple hard as I rub my erection against her clit causing her to gasp.

"Please Christian" she begs again.

Ana moves her legs apart even further as her hips push up against mine. I capture her lips in mine as I guide my erection to her opening and gently push into her. Her hands are entangled in my hair, she pulls me closer so my lips are practically crushing her. I push into her further until I feel her barrier; this is the part I am most concerned about for Ana. I have heard it can be somewhat painful for women to lose their virginity but I want her to enjoy tonight.

"It might hurt but I will try to be gentle. If it does it shouldn't last" I say looking into her eyes.

"I'll be fine Christian, it's okay" she says as she reaches down and tries to pull me into her deeper.

I take a deep breath, grab her nipple pinching it to distract her as I push through her barrier in one swift move. I pause as I feel her tense up and whimper into my mouth. I don't move; I just continuing kissing her letting her body adjust to the new feeling. She is so incredibly tight and hot that I have to force myself to think about something else so I don't come right now.

"Are you okay?" I ask looking down at her; her eyes are shut but she opens them when she hears my voice.

"Yes…" she says unsure.

"I'm going to start moving now, if it hurts to much let me know" I say gently pulling out and pushing back into her.

I kiss her deeply, running my tongue along her lips seeking entry which she grants me after a few seconds of hesitation. As her tongue finds mine, I begin to feel her body relax and I begin to move a little faster. Her breathing hitches as she wraps her legs around my waist and I push in a little harder and a little deeper. She grabs hold of my ass pulling me deeper into her and I am finally completely inside of her as my balls smack against her ass.

"You feel so good Ana" I say into her ear.

"Don't stop" she begs moving her hips up and down.

I start moving faster, going in deep each time I pull out and I am rewarded with her moans. I am relieved that she is enjoying this; I have heard that many women do not achieve orgasm when they lose their virginity. She grips me tightly inside of her as I continue to move faster and push into her deeper. I can tell she is getting close; her hands are all over me, not knowing where to settle. I reach between us and pinch her nipple gently as I slam into her hard feeling my balls slap her ass again; she moans loudly in response to this. I move up so I am leaning against her clit and while staying deep inside of her I move around gently so I hit her clit each time.

"Oh God!" She yells clearly enjoying the new sensation.

"You like?" I say hitting her clit again.

"Yes…yes!" she exclaims as she pulls my lips to hers.

I alternate between pulling in and out of her with staying deep inside of her grinding against her clit bringing her closer and closer to an orgasm. Her walls grip me so tight I can barely move as I struggle not to come.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she yells as I pinch her nipple again.

"Christian…please…" she begs breathlessly.

"What do you need baby?" I ask as I slam into her hard.

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! I need to come…please" she begs.

Motivated by hearing her beg, I pick up the speed and pinch her nipples as I pound into her. I feel her body tensing and know that she is close. I pull out almost completely and slam into her hard pressing against her clit forcefully.

"Come baby" I tell her.

Almost immediately, she combusts around me as I continue to move in and out of her kissing her deeply as she rides out her first orgasm of the night. Hearing her breathing returning to normal, I gently pull out of her and turn her over. She clearly isn't sure what I am doing, but follows my lead turning over and getting up on all fours. I grab hold of her hips and without much warning I slam back into her where her sex immediately grabs me tightly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screams in pleasure.

I wasn't sure if she would enjoy sex if it was a little rough but she seemed to get more turned on the harder I slammed into her. I reach around and rub her clit as I continue to move in and out of her deeply.

"Oh god! Don't stop! I'm so close again!" she begs as I pinch her clit hard.

I continue my attack on her sex and on her clit, alternating with pinching and rubbing as I move in and out of her. Her moans become louder the harder and deeper I go into her. Her walls tense around me again and I can feel she is on the edge; I am pleased that she is responding so much to me.

"Christian…." She whimpers. "Please…."

"Please….I'm so close" she begs again.

"Come with me Ana!" I say slamming into her a few more times as she orgasms around me which pushes me into my own orgasm.

I collapse on top of her as we both breathe heavily basking in our post orgasm bliss. I stay inside of her, every so often moving back and forth as my erection slowly fades and her walls stop gripping me. I reach up kiss her deeply trying to express my gratitude for her trust. She kisses me back with just as much passion and emotion in her kiss. I gently pull out of her and smile as she whimpers from the loss of contact before going to the bathroom and cleaning up. I bring back a cool washcloth for her and clean up, before climbing into bed with her to snuggle. We both quickly fall asleep, still both completely naked and exhausted from our long day today.

**Ana's POV:**

I wake at some point during the night feeling very hot. I look down and see Christian's leg wrapped around mine and his hand holding my breast. I laugh thinking that even in his sleep he seems to seek me out as we almost always end up sleeping very close to one another. I gently pull Christian off of me and quietly make my way to the bathroom. After using the facilities, I wash up and take a drink of cool water before returning to bed. I crawl back into bed trying to be gently and not wake up Christian but quickly realize I already woke him as he pulls me closer to him. He is lying on his side and he pulls me so I am lying side by side next to him.

"I missed you" he says, pulling me so my body is touching is.

"I guess so" I giggle feeling his erection pushing against my sex.

"Well not just that way" he smiles down at me before kissing me deeply.

I feel my body immediately react to his actions as his hands move all over my body while he sucks on my lips. My nipples immediately harden and I can my juices begin to flow; I am so turned on by this man. I never thought sex would be enjoyable for me; that any man would want me after seeing my scars.

"If you're too sore…" he stops kissing me and looks at me.

"I'm not" I say, rubbing my sex against him to illustrate my point.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm" He moans against me probably realizing how wet I am already for him.

He reaches between us and grabs my breast roughly as he continues to rub his erection between my folds. I move my leg up on his hip so he has better access to my sex; he grabs my ass and pushes me closer to his erection. This new position has him rubbing my opening every time he moves and I find myself pushing my hips down to meet his movements.

"Christian" I moan wanting more…needing to feel him inside of me again.

I push down hard and feel him slide into me slightly; I put my hand on his back and urge him to move closer as I again push down. He slides into me with ease and there is no discomfort like the first time. He kisses me deeply and doesn't move letting me adjust to him again. I gently move my hips back and forth as he groans into my mouth. He grabs my ass and moves me back and forth against him faster and harder. Every time he pulls me closer to him he is rubbing against my clit which is sending me closer to the edge.

"OHHHHHHHHHHH" I moan as he roughly pulls my ass into him.

"You feel so good" I say.

"You are so tight…the way you grip me….so good" Christian moans.

He pinches my nipples and continues to move my ass to meet his thrusts. He is in full control and I can feel that I'm right there. I don't know why but I find myself right on the brink of orgasm so often with Christian and I just need him to give me something more before I can come. Sometimes it's just his voice, other times it's an action but I just need something more. I love that Christian seems to know exactly what I want or what I need to come even when I don't.

"Christian…." I say as he slams me into him again.

"Let go Ana, I want to feel you come" he whispers into my ear which sets me off as the orgasm rips through me.

He continues to move me back and forth gently now riding out my orgasm before rolling us over so he is on top of me. He pulls out of me suddenly, reaches over to the nightstand pulling out a condom. I blush realizing that we were so caught up with each other that we didn't stop to get a condom.

"You're not on birth control I assume?" he asks.

"No" I blush. "But I think I need to be."

"Soon…you feel so good without anything between us" he whispers.

He giggles as he reaches down to position himself at my entrance. He holds himself there as he kisses me deeply; he slides into me fully as he moves my legs to his chest. In this position he is able to slide into me even deeper and I feel even fuller now than before. He holds my thighs and slowly begins moving in and out of me. He pulls out of me almost entirely before slowly pushing himself back into me until he is again fully inside of me. In this position I have little control over his movements as I find myself needing him to go faster and harder. The orgasm is slowly building but I know I will sit on the edge if he continues at this pace. I am surprised that my body responds the most when he is a little rough with me; I hadn't expected that given everything.

"Christian…I need…please" I beg shyly.

"What do you need Ana?" he asks smiling down at me; he knows exactly what I need but wants me to say it.

He again pulls out slowly and pushes himself back into me slowly as his fingers graze my clit.

"Please….harder Christian….like before" I beg shameless.

The orgasm is close but I can't come at the slow pace he is moving at.

"Tell me again" he orders pinching my clit. "Tell me what you want me to do."

As if to reiterate his point, he slowly pulls out and pushes back in one more time. He reaches forward pinching me nipple which pushes him deeper inside of me so he just barely puts pressure on my clit. The orgasm is just out of reach, and I'm desperate; if he wants me to say it I will. Just then he applies just enough pressure to my clit by leaning forward to kiss me.

"Oh!" I exclaim. "Please, harder, faster….Please make me come!"

With that, Christian's hands return to my thighs and he pulls out quickly before slamming into me deeply. That does it and the orgasm is finally within reach as he gives me what I needed. He continues at this pace for some time before sinking deeper into me to kiss me. At this angle he is fully inside of me, deeper than before and the pressure on my clit is intense.

"Oh god!" I exclaim as he pulls away momentarily.

He pulls out and slams into me deep again, capturing my mouth in his. This time he stays in me deeply and rotates his hips in small circles. Suddenly in addition to the pressure on my clit I feel him hitting a new spot inside of me which has me soaring.

"Oh My! Don't stop!" I yell in response to this new found feeling.

"Please don't stop!" I yell again as he pulls out suddenly.

I moan at him doing the opposite of what I needed, but just that quickly he slams back into me leaning forward to hit the same spot again. He moves his hips around faster and harder while staying deep inside of me.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" I yell as he pinches my nipple hard.

"You are so hot and tight Ana" He whispers into my ear pushing into me even further which I didn't think was possible.

"Christian…." I beg but for what I'm not sure.

He pulls out of me and slams back into me several more times, each time hitting that spot inside of me which has me on the edge.

"Oh god!" I yell as his assault continues. "Don't stop!"

"Oh Please!" I beg again.

"Are you close Ana? Please tell me you're close?" He begs through gritted teeth as I feel him seem to grow more inside of me.

"Yes yes! I'm right there" I say.

He pulls out again, Slams into me hard pinching my nipple the moment he hits that spot inside of me which sends me over the edge.

"Christian!" I yell as I come around him.

"Ana!" He yells as he finds his own release.

He kisses me deeply before slowly pulling out; I whimper at the empty feeling. He quickly disposes of the condom before crawling back into bed with me. He pulls me close to him, my back to his front as holds me tightly against him.

"Christian?" I ask shyly.

"Hmmmm?" he yawns.

"Is it always like that?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" he asks, his voice full of concern as he rolls me over to face him.

"So….passionate?" I say searching for a better word but not finding one.

"I don't know about other couples but it has never been like this with any other women. I have never felt so connected to someone as I did with you tonight. It's like when I'm with you, I feel closer to you and that everything is complete" he says kissing me deeply.

"Did you enjoy tonight?" I ask blushing.

"Oh god yes!" he exclaims. "Tell me honestly, did you? I know you were in a little pain the first time…"

"It was slightly uncomfortable, but once my body got used to you I enjoyed it" I admitted my face getting even redder.

"Don't be embarrassed" he says kissing me again. "I want to be sure I am pleasing you; if I do something you don't like or just don't enjoy as much please tell me."

"I will, but I enjoyed tonight very much" I say kissing him.

He rolls onto his back, pulling me close to him before we both fall asleep again.


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Note: Many thanks for the continued support and encouragement! I'm glad you all liked the last chapter.

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 22: Ana's POV:**

I wake up again feeling hot only to quickly realize Christian is practically on top of me again. His head is on my chest next to my breast, his leg is around my thighs and he his entire body is pressed up against me. If we keep sleeping together like this we will need to turn up the air conditioning in here or open a window because I am too hot! I gently move Christian over and slide off the bed, heading to the bathroom. Just as I am splashing water on my face, the door opens and comes up behind me embracing me.

"Good morning" he says pulling my back against his chest.

"Hmmmm morning" I say as he kisses my neck.

"How are you feeling?" he turns me around so I am looking at him.

"A little sore, but I'm not complaining" I smile kissing him.

"I'm sorry if I was too rough" he apologizes.

"Don't be…I really enjoyed it" I admit blushing.

I pull his head down to me and kiss him deeply. As usual our kissing quickly becomes passionate as we invade each other's mouths. His hands immediately find my breasts and he begins pinching them gently while my hand reaches between us and finds his erection already rock hard. I stroke his erection which causes him to moan in my mouth and pinch my nipple harder.

"I want you so bad….but you are sore" he moans into my ear nearly biting my shoulder.

"I want you too" I bring his erection to my sex, allowing him to feel just how wet I am already for him.

"You're killing me Ana, I don't want to hurt you" he says pulling me closer to him.

"Join me in the shower?" I ask.

"No, bed. I want us to come together" he says pulling me back out of the bathroom without waiting for a response.

We climb back onto the bed as our hands continue to explore each other's bodies. His mouth quickly finds my nipples; I hold his head close to my breast afraid he will stop the wonderful assault on me. Although I'm enjoying this deeply I need to touch him, to hear him moan in enjoyment. Hearing his enjoyment turns me on further; knowing that I can bring this man such passion amazes me each time. I pull his mouth up to mine and begin sucking on his lips while my hand resumes stroking his erection. Christian's hand finds my clit which he begins rubbing gently causing me to moan into his mouth. I open my legs further inviting him to enter me, but his fingers don't move. They continue their assault on my clit, rubbing and pinching it until I am withering with need.

"Christian…Please" I beg as the orgasm is building.

He doesn't respond but continues his assault. I stroke his erection faster and as drops of liquid appear on the top he moans into my mouth pushing his erection harder into my hand.

"I want to taste you again" he whispers into my ear biting my ear lobe.

"Hmmmmmmmmmm" I moan. My God this man has a way with words.

Without taking his hand off my clit, he manages to turn himself around so once again his erection is in front of my face. He quickly grabs my ass and pulls me on top of him while I am stroking him. His mouth immediately finds my opening which is begging for attention. His tongue licks me everywhere, but never enters me. I moan and try to push my hips towards his face but he stops me by grabbing a hold of my ass and holding into place.

"Please Christian" I beg needing more; I'm so on edge.

Just as I feel his tongue get closer to my opening, I feel him push his hips gently upwards giving me a subtle clue as to what he wants. Immediately I take him deep into my throat, sucking him hard to which he moans while finally entering me with his tongue. I alternate between sucking him deeply and stroking him when the passion becomes too much for me to concentrate on him. Christian's mouth moves to my clit and he slowly pushes a finger into me causing me to moan deeply.

"You taste so good Ana" he says against me…sending just the smallest amount of vibration right through me.

I'm getting so close, but I remember he said he wanted us to come together again. It felt amazing to feel him come at the same time I did last night. It was as if we were in perfect synch with one another; meeting each other's needs fully. Thinking of last night as my juices nearly gushing out; I grab Christian's erection taking him deep and swallowing when he hits the back of my throat. I repeat this several times and I can tell he is getting closer; his grip on my thighs gets tighter and he is moaning loudly now. I keep up my pace and gently grab his balls to add to his pleasure. Just as I do this, he adds another finger deep inside of me curling them just the right way to hit that one spot and I nearly come undone.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I scream momentarily pulling him away from my mouth. "I need to come."

"Come Ana, let me taste you again" he says pushing his fingers into me roughly while thrusting his hips so his erection is deep in my throat.

I try to scream as the orgasm rips through me but with his erection deep in my throat this is impossible. My attempt at screaming must have been it for him, as he empties himself still deep in my throat. I swallow as much as I can while he pulls my thighs apart further so his tongue can enter me deeper.

"Oh God" I say collapsing on top of him.

"I love coming with you" he says. "How about that shower now?"

After a quick shower we are dressed and having breakfast in the dining room. Today our little world ends and we are back to reality. We have been the center of each other's world for several days now but it had to come to an end as we both have work to return to. I am scheduled to work tonight and I'm sure Christian has plenty of work to do considering how little I have seen him work in the last few days, plus the week he took off after Christmas. I am thankful for the time together but hope that going back to realty doesn't change things too much. I'm going to miss seeing him every day but I'm also looking forward to seeing Kate who should be home tomorrow. Plus school starts back up again in about a week which reminds me I need to pick up my books for the semester.

"Ana?" Christian asks waking me from my daydream.

"Oh sorry" I say.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

"It's fine" I smile. "Just thinking about everything I need to do this week."

"I'm going to miss having you here" he says.

"Me too, but reality calls" I laugh.

"What time do you need to be at work?" he asks.

"Three" I answer "But I need to go home to change into my uniform and feed the cat before I go."

"I can wait and then drive you to work" he says.

"Don't be silly, it's only a few blocks from the apartment. You have plenty to catch up on I'm sure" I laugh.

"No, it's fine. I want to drive you" he says.

"Christian, I can walk to work. Seriously, don't worry about it" I say sounding more firm then I wanted.

"Ok" he says sadly.

"I'm sorry" I walk over and kiss him on the lips. "I'm not used to someone worrying."

"I know" he sighs before kissing me back.

As promised, Christian drives me back to the apartment but does not wait for him to drive me to work. It was hard saying good bye to him after spending so many days together and sharing an amazing experience with him. We didn't say when we would see each other again, but I hope it will be soon. I run upstairs, feed the cat and change into my uniform before darting out the door to meet Antonio to discuss the plans for Valentine's Day. The walk to the restaurant is short but I can feel some soreness in my thighs which is likely due to all the activity in the last two days I realize smiling.

_Got to work –A_

_Good –C _

"Antonio, are you ready to meet?" I ask seeing his office door open.

"Yes Ana, please come in" He stands to great me.

"How was the service last night?" I ask.

"We had an early dinner rush but then it died down pretty quickly" he explains.

"That's good" I say.

"So you have some ideas for Valentine's Day?" he asks.

We spend the next 90 minutes discussing various plans for Valentine's Day and reviewing the menu. I've identified several strong members of the wait staff that I would prefer to have scheduled to work that day which Antonio was in agreement with. We discussed some of the other staff, identifying areas they could improve to becoming stronger wait staff. Some just have poor attitudes and I don't think you can fix that, but Antonio of course wants to give them the benefit of the doubt. A few others just need to pick up the pace a little or become more confident in their own ability. Antonio is going to try putting those staff on more dinner services to see if that doesn't help. Antonio's wife has sketched out a layout for the main dining room for us to begin working with. It's a different than the current layout so we will have to change the area numbers and train the wait staff a couple days before so they are prepared when the walk in on Valentine's Day. This day is by far the busiest day of the year for Antonio so we agree to meet a couple more times before the service to finalize everything. It is important that it all goes off without a hitch.

Dinner services goes by slowly as we are pretty dead; I send one of the wait staff home since there are so few tables. I guess everyone is hung over or something because this place is rarely this dead. My shift slowly comes to an end having served less than five tables all night. I say goodbye to Antonio before stepping outside in the frigid cold. Having been stuck inside for last several hours I hadn't realized how cold it had gotten outside and I pull the jacket tighter around me. Suddenly I hear someone clear their throat and look up to see Christian leaning against his SUV.

"Christian! What are you doing here?" I asked surprised.

"Driving you home of course" he opens the door for me.

"I thought we talked about this?" I say pouting at him but secretly happy to be in a nice warm car.

"No you said I couldn't drive you to work today; you never said anything about driving you home" He says kissing me.

"That's true, I didn't" I laugh as Taylor pulls away and heads to the apartment.

Christian drops me off at the apartment and like a true gentleman walks me to the door. We kiss goodbye and he promises to call me when he gets home. I quickly shower and change into pajamas just as the phone rings. We spend the next hour on the phone talking about everything and anything before we both start yawning. Although we both put it off, we eventually hang up the phone. Christian has an early morning meeting tomorrow and I have laundry to do, plus Kate texted me and said she should be home for dinner so I want to plan to cook a nice dinner for us. I haven't seen her in weeks and I have so much to tell her!

I fall asleep quickly and surprise myself by sleeping a complete night without a nightmare. I wake feeling rested, relaxed and ready to start the day. I grab a quick shower, make breakfast and throw in a load of laundry.

_Good Morning Beautiful –C_

_Morning. Sleep well? –A_

_Not as good as when I am next to you –C_

This simple text puts a permanent smile on my face which will likely be there all day. I worry to some degree that we are getting too close too fast but I don't know how to stop falling for him either. We've only known each other for a short period of time but I feel that we have shared so much with each other which has brought us closer.

"Ana! Are you here?" I hear Kate yell from the living room as I am putting away laundry.

"Kate!" I run to the living room and engulf her in a huge hug.

"I missed you!" Kate says as we plop down on the couch to catch up.

"How as the Bahamas? How was New Year's in New York?" I ask.

"Oh it was amazing Ana!" Kate exclaims happily. "The Bahamas were wonderful of course and it was great seeing my parents and Ethan again. But New York was perfect with Elliot! When he was with us in the Bahamas neither of us really acted right because my parents were constantly around. He stayed at a nearby hotel and my parents refused to let me even go to his hotel to visit him! But when we flew to New York, it was perfect because we could finally spend time together without my parents nagging us. We went to Time's Square and watched the ball drop before bringing in the New Year the right way in our hotel room!"

"Kate!" I smirk.

"So what's up with you? What have you been up to since I left? All moved in right?" she fires questions away.

"Yes, I'm all moved in. I also did some shopping and restocked your cabinets, fridge and freezer. No wonder you eat out constantly; you had no food here!" I laugh.

"It's easier than trying to cook" she explains. "But what else? Tell me, have you seen Christian again?"

"Oh, Kate he took me sky diving! We had so much fun together; we've gone out several times and in fact I just got home from spending the last few days with him" I say blushing.

"Wait! What?" She says shocked.

"I thought I would be nervous about sky diving, but once he told me what we were doing I was so excited! I never thought I would want to go sky diving but when the time came I couldn't wait! It was awesome!" I say happily.

"Not that! Although I'm glad you had fun for once!" Kate says. "Are you saying you spent several days with him? As in overnight? Wait, did you sleep with him?"

"Kate, that's none of your business" I say blushing deeply.

"Oh my God you did! Oh Ana it's about time! Tell me, was he good? Elliot is amazing in bed, so I would expect Christian to be too!" She replies.

"Yes, he was very very good" I say again blushing.

"Apparently so, your face is bright red!" Kate laughs.

"Oh Kate…I'm falling for him hard. I care so much about him" I sigh.

"But you're worried because you haven't known him that long?" she guesses.

"Yeah" I sigh again. "What if we are rushing into things?"

"Ana, relax" Kate instructs. "You're not talking about moving in with the guy or marrying him. You are dating him; well and sleeping with him. It's scary because you haven't felt like this before, but if you feel this strongly about him it's because it's real. I know you Ana, you would not have given him your cherry if you didn't think he was special."

"You're right" I say. "Do you feel this way about Elliot?"

"Oh Ana" she sighs. "I think I'm falling in love with Elliot! I've never felt this way about a guy, but I spend every minute that I'm not with him thinking about him. We talked constantly when I was in the Bahamas and then spent every minute together there once he arrived."

Kate and I spent the rest of the night catching up and looking at pictures from her trip. I've always been jealous of Kate's family; they seem like the perfect family. Every year they spend Christmas in some perfect spot far from home. The pictures are always gorgeous and everyone always looks so happy. Although I loved our holidays when my dad was alive, I wish we would have had more family vacations. I only remember a couple overnight camping trips when I was little which were fun, but I can't help but wonder if my dad didn't die what other trips would we have taken? How would my life have been different? Would he have stayed married to my mom?

"Earth to Ana" Kate says bringing me back to reality.

"Sorry, guess I'm still tired from the last few days" I smile.

"I was going to suggest we order something for dinner" Kate says.

"No! I'm making dinner for you as a welcome home meal and of course a way to begin thanking you for letting me move in especially when you were gone" I walk into the kitchen and begin taking everything out of the fridge for dinner.

"I'm just glad you finally agreed to move in! This place was always too big for me, it's why I've been pestering you for two years now to move in" Kate laughs. "What's for dinner anyway?"

"Chicken masala over rice with fresh veggies and a side salad" I say throwing some of the ingredients into a bowl.

"Oh yum! That sounds delicious" Kate smiles. "I'm going to jump in the shower quick…I hate the way you feel when you get off of a plane."

"Hi Christian" I answer my phone while cooking dinner.

"Hey beautiful" he greets me.

"What are you up to?" I ask.

"I just finished a meeting with some of my department heads and wanted to call you before my next conference call" he answers.

"Are you going home anytime soon?" I ask, it's almost six surely he should be home by now.

"Not for a couple more hours" he answers.

"That sucks, you must be exhausted" I say.

"Nah, I've had lots of coffee today" he laughs. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just putting the finishing touches on dinner. Kate came home today and we spent the afternoon catching up. She's in the shower now but then we're going to eat dinner together" I explain.

"I have to get on my call; I don't know if I will be able to talk tonight since this is going to go pretty late. I will call you in the morning" he says.

"Don't work too late" I laugh and hang up the phone.

Kate and I enjoy our dinner together before moving to the living room with a couple glasses of wine. It feels so nice to have her back here and to not spend my evenings alone. At the boarding homes where I stayed before there was never anything to do at night if I wasn't working. I was stuck in the room I rented with no one to talk to.

"What are your plans tomorrow?" Kate asks.

"I was thinking of heading to campus to buy my books since classes start in a couple days and then I'm working the dinner shift" I answer.

"Cool, I was thinking of running to the book store too. We'll go after breakfast?" she asks.

"Sounds good" I answer. "I'm going to head to bed; Night Kate – welcome home."

"Night Ana" she says.

_Lunch today? –C_

_Sorry. On campus buying books –A_

_Dinner? –C_

_ Ugh…working –A_

_Another time? –C_

_Absolutely __J__ -A _

I feel bad but there's no way I can meet Christian today; it's nearly eleven now and we just arrived on campus. The bookstore is packed as usual and the line wraps around the store nearly twice so I know we will be here almost all afternoon. Then I have to run back to the apartment, change and head to dinner tonight. With classes starting on Monday I know my time is going to be stretched pretty thin so it's going to be rough seeing Christian especially with his work schedule.

**Same Day: Christian's POV**

"Hey Bro!" Elliot says walking into my office.

"I'm sorry Mr. Grey, he walked right by me" Andrea says rushing in.

"It's fine Andrea; Please Elliot come in" I say sarcastically.

"What do you say we grab some dinner?" Elliot asks.

"I suppose I could leave now and finish this at home later" I answer, closing my laptop.

Elliot and I head to a nearby restaurant for dinner; I'm tempted to suggest we eat at Ana's restaurant but I don't want to make it too weird for her. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her all day; she kept invading my thoughts today when I tried to concentrate on work. I can't believe how fast I'm falling for her; never did I think I would feel so connected to someone. I realize now how much I was missing by contracting with subs; there was never the emotional connection. Sex was always meaningless; with Ana it's so much more. Every time we are together, I feel closer to her. It's like being with her reinforces my connection to her. I don't know if she feels the same way; I can only hope she does.

"So Christian?" Elliot asks as the waitress takes our order and walks away.

"How was the Bahamas?" I ask.

"It was great bro! Kate's family loved me; but of course what's not to love" he laughs.

"And New Year's in NYC?" I ask.

"Crowded, chaotic" he sighs. "But I dealt with it because it's what Kate wanted. What did you do for New Year's? Work as usual?"

"No, I spent it with Ana" I smirk; he thinks he knows me so well. "We went to the club and then back to my place."

"Really? Is my little bro finally getting serious about a girl?" He asks shocked.

"Yes, I am" I answer confidently.

"Me too" Elliot admits quietly.

"What? You? Don't tell me you're thinking of settling down?" I'm surprised; Elliot has always jumped from girl to girl rarely seeing the same one twice.

"I know, I know" he sighs. "But Kate is special."

"How is work going?" I ask.

"A little slow because of the weather but we're lining up jobs to start as soon as the cold breaks" he explains. "So….about Christmas dinner?"

"What about it?" I ask nervously.

"Is it true? Did you and Elena have a thing?" he asks.

"Yes" I sigh. "I thought she was helping me, but it's taken me this long to realize what she did was wrong."

"The whole time you have done business with her though?" he asks.

"Yes. Had I realized it sooner I would have ended our business relationship. I have already pulled my financial support from the salons and gifted them to her. We have no other business together and I do not plan on speaking to her again" I explain.

"I'm sorry" Elliot says quietly.

"Sorry? For what?" I'm confused.

"That I didn't know about it. That I didn't stop her" he sighs. "I should have been looking out for you better. We all saw the change in you after you started working with her but I thought you were finally growing up."

"Elliot, I don't think you could have stopped it" I acknowledge. "She convinced me she was helping me."

"Are you still into that?" Elliot asks awkwardly.

"No," I answer. "I was for a long time but over the last year I realized it wasn't helping me and I wanted more from the relationships."

"So you and Ana…." Elliot struggles.

"No!" I exclaim. "I would never expose Ana to that; she is too sweet and too innocent. Like I said, I realized I wasn't getting what I needed from the lifestyle even before I met Ana."

"You seem to really like her" Elliot points out.

"I do" I pause. "I find myself thinking of her constantly and wishing I could spend more time with her. We spent a lot of time together when Kate was on vacation and have really gotten to know each other."

"What do you say we all go out this weekend? Like a double date again?" he suggests.

"Sounds great! I'll need to find out Ana's work schedule but I'm sure we can work something out" I answer.


	23. Chapter 23

Author's note: thank you all for your feedback and encouragement. I love reading every comment and seeing where you think this story is going to go. I love the speculation about Elena and whether or not she is gone for good! I'm sorry this chapter is a little shorter than my usual ones. The next one will be longer I promise!

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**Chpt. 23: Christian's POV**

_Elliot wants to go out with us this weekend –C _

_I work Friday night, Saturday lunch. Go out Saturday night? –A _

_Ok. I will tell Elliot. Pick you up Saturday? –C _

_Yes –A _

I haven't seen Ana in days and it's killing me! The couple days we spent in my apartment were perfect; but now real life is getting in the way. I have to constantly remind myself that this job is important to her and as much as I want to take over and give her money she wouldn't appreciate it nor would she accept it. It's equally difficult because I have been working so much during the day as well, but I'm trying to catch up on the work that I lost after Christmas. I'm looking forward to seeing her again Saturday night; hopefully I can convince her to come back to my place and spend some more time with her alone.

"Sir?" Taylor interrupts my thoughts.

"Yes Taylor?" I ask.

"What you would like me to do about the security you assigned to Ms. Steele?" he asks.

"I forgot we had someone assigned to her. Since she is living with Ms. Kavanaugh, we can discontinue the security. I only wanted it in place because of that room she rented" I explain.

"Very well" he leaves my office.

The rest of the afternoon goes by very slowly, which has been typical for me lately. I leave the office promptly at five which is fairly early for me but I have an appointment with Dr. Flynn tonight. I haven't seen him since before the holidays as he was away with his family. He said I could have called for a phone session at any time but I didn't want to impose on his family during the holidays. Although I expect him to be there whenever I need him, I couldn't expect his wife and children to understand me calling in the middle of their vacation.

Flynn: Good evening Christian.

Christian: How was your vacation?

Flynn: Wonderful, thank you. How was your holiday?

Christian: Eventful.

Flynn: Oh? Would you care to elaborate?

Christian: Christmas dinner nearly blew up in my face and caused me to sink into a deep dark depression for several days.

Flynn: What happened? You didn't call; I would have been available Christian.

Christian: I know, but it was the holidays John. You needed to spend it with your wife and kids. In the end Taylor stepped in and Ana helped me.

Flynn: Why don't you tell me what happened?

Christian: I invited Ana to Christmas dinner at my parents' house and although she was very nervous she agreed to come. We were having a wonderful time when after dinner, Elena shows up.

Flynn: Well that's not entirely unexpected as she is a friend of your mother's.

Christian: Yes, but she chose this moment to essentially attack Ana when she stepped away from me to use the restroom. I walked down the hallway to hear her calling Ana several nasty names, to which Ana responded by throwing a drink on her.

Flynn: It sounds like Ana handled the situation very well.

Christian: She did, I was very pleased that she stood up to Elena.

Flynn: Okay, then what happened?

Christian: Then Elena started saying how Ana will never meet my needs, and asking if she knows how I like to fuck women and everything that she taught me. I immediately interrupted her and told her that she taught me nothing but how to fuck women with no emotionally attachment.

Flynn: it sounds like Ana was not the only one who stood up to Elena.

Christian: Well you're right there. (pause) My mother overheard this part of the conversation.

Flynn: I see.

Christian: She threw Elena out of the house and asked me to meet her and my dad in his study to talk about what she just heard. Unfortunately Ana is not a stupid woman and put two and two together figuring out what Elena was referring to. She asked me point blank if I was into BDSM and when I told her I was in the past but that I am no longer involved she told me she needed time.

Flynn: And your parents?

Christian: I told them everything. It was a very long discussion but in the end they helped me see that I was a victim and that essentially it was child abuse.

Flynn: Finally!

Christian: I know…I guess I wasn't ready to hear it when you tried to get me to see it that way but hearing it from my mother changed my perspective I guess. We had a long talk that night and it's safe to say my mother's friendship with Elena is over.

Flynn: And Ana? How are things with her?

Christian: Now they are great. (pause) But after Christmas dinner we went several days without speaking. I sent her flowers to apologize but she told me she needed more time. The thought of losing her hit me hard; I stopped going to work, stopped eating and barely took in liquids.

Flynn: Christian (sigh) what did you think that would solve?

Christian: I have no idea. Taylor must have seen what was going on because he found Ana after work one afternoon and convinced her to come to the apartment. She made me eat and then we spent hours talking. I told her everything, John. I told her about my past, why I got into BDSM, about Elena and how even before I met her I knew I needed more than BDSM.

Flynn: How did she respond?

Christian: She was very supportive; she listened and then spent the night with me in my bed – just sleeping. The next day she told me her story.

Flynn: Oh?

Christian: Remember I told you I thought I felt a scar on her back?

Flynn: Yes

Christian: Turns out she has a lot of scars on her back, like dozens and even some on her front. She was abused severely as a child by one of her mother's husbands. He beat her senseless for years, John. He used the belt and a cane on her.

Flynn: I see.

Christian: She spent the next several days with me; she even let me see her scars. She told me that no one has ever seen all her scars before me and that no one knows what happened to her. She gave me her virginity on New Years Eve after we celebrated together.

Flynn: It sounds like you two have become very close in the few days you spent together; you certainly shared a lot.

Christian: I'm falling for her, hard and fast John. I can't stop thinking of; I want to spend every minute with her! I haven't seen her since New Year's Day because of her work schedule; I find myself counting the hours until I see her on Saturday night.

Flynn: It sounds like you love her.

Christian: What? Love? No, it's too soon isn't it?

Flynn: Not necessarily. When you find the one you love, you know it.

Christian: How do I know if I love her? I've never felt this way before.

Flynn: Can you picture your life without her right now?

Christian: No!

Flynn: Then I think you just answered your own question.

I leave the session with Flynn and head back to my apartment thinking about what Flynn said. _Could this be love? Am I capable of loving someone? Am I good enough for Ana?_ We don't talk on the phone tonight as we have been after Ana gets off of work; I just need time to process what Flynn suggested. If I do love her, I can't help but wonder if she loves me. Could she love someone who was into the lifestyle the way I was? I think I've explained it enough that she doesn't see it as abuse, but even after hearing her story I disgusted myself thinking of the number of times I have hit a woman with a belt or even with a cane.

I avoid Ana for the next two days…she texts me several times during the day but I tell her I'm in the middle of a project at work and will see her Saturday night. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I love her but I'm scared shitless that she doesn't love me. I don't know how I would react if I lost her because she didn't love me. I know she cares deeply about me and trusts me like she has trusted no one before, but is that enough? Does that mean she loves me?

_Are we still on for tonight? –A _

_Yes; I will pick you up at 7? –C_

_Elliot is picking Kate up, I could catch a ride with them –A _

_Ok, see you there –C _

_I miss you –A _

_I've missed you too –C _

The fact that she misses me has to say something right? I need to snap out of this funk and just concentrate on seeing Ana tonight. Maybe I can get some sort of a clue as to how she feels about me tonight.

"Hey Bro!" Elliot says after I answer the phone.

"Hey Elliot. What's the plan for tonight?" I ask.

"Kate wants to go out dancing so I thought we would check The 21st Floor club. I've heard really good things about the food there" he answers.

"I know the owners, I will see about pulling some strings" I say.

"Great, I'm sure the girls will be impressed" he replies.

"Ana says you are picking them up?" I ask.

"Yes at six thirty" he answers.

"Great, then I will meet you at 7 at the club" I answer and hang up.

I call the owner of the club whom I've done business with in the past but more recently he assisted me with the opening of my club. He has graciously agreed to reserve us a table so we won't be waiting for hours to get food. I find my stomach a little unsettled as I think about tonight and seeing Ana again. I spend a few hours in the gym which seems to help my nerves settle down but only to a certain degree.

"Gail, can I ask you something?" I walking into the kitchen.

"Of course Mr. Grey" she says turning off the water.

"I realize I'm going to cross a line here but I'm hoping you will give me a little latitude" I begin. "When did you first realize you were in love with Taylor?"

"Oh" she pauses, clearly surprised as I have never brought up their relationship before. Of course I've known they have been romantically involved for a couple years now but as long as it didn't interfere with their work I never brought it up.

"I'm sorry, it's too personal" I turn around to leave.

"No, that's not it" she begins. "I guess, looking back I was always in love with him and just didn't realize it at first. I found myself constantly thinking about him, wondering if he was safe, wanting to take care of him and wanting to spend more time with him even when we were just together."

"Were you afraid that he didn't feel the same way" I ask quietly.

"Of course" she answers. "It's risky because you don't know for sure how the other person feels until someone says those three little words."

"How did you know?" I ask.

"The way he acted. He would call or text me whenever he had a few moments free, he would make it a point to ask me about my day, he constantly asked to spend time with me and when we weren't together he would tell me how much he missed me" she explains.

"Thank you Gail" I leave the room.

Feeling much more confident about my feelings and Ana's possible feelings for me, I decide it was time to get ready for the evening. I quickly dress in a pair of dress pants, a long sleeve collared shirt and a light jacket before heading to meet Taylor. We arrive at the club a few minutes before Elliot and the girls so I wait in the parked car until I see them pull up. I immediately go to their car and open the door so they could step out; so I could see Ana again.

"Hi" I say pulling her to me and kissing her passionately on the lips.

"Wow, hi Christian" Ana says giggling at the sudden public display of affection.

"I missed you" I admit pulling her closer to me.

"Me too; I feel like we haven't spoken in days" she says sadly and immediately I feel guilty.

"I know, but tonight that changes. I promise" I say.

We walk pass the long line to get in and are escorted to our table after providing the bouncers with our names. We are seated just off the dance floor, near the bar and I'm surprised at how packed the place is already.

"Shall we order a bottle of wine?" I ask.

"Sounds good" Ana replies.

"I'm going to go with a beer" Elliot says.

"Me too" Kate says.

"So two for wine?" I ask Ana.

"Please" she answers.

We order drinks and place an order for a couple appetizers to enjoy while we look over the menu. Elliot and Kate talk about their trip to the Bahamas and New Year's in NYC as we look over the menu. We eventually decide on our orders as the waitress returns a few moments later.

"Want to dance while we wait for our food?" I ask Ana, dying to feel her closer to me.

"Sure" she takes my hand to stand up.

As we reach the dance floor I take in her outfit which once again shows off her curves perfectly. She is wearing a black skirt which is snug in all the right places, with an off the shoulder light pink top. The shirt hugs her breasts perfectly and being this closer to her I can see the outline of lace just under her shirt.

"You look beautiful tonight" I breath into her ear as she leans her back into my chest dancing to the music.

"Thank you" she says breathless. "You look pretty hot yourself."

We dance closely for several songs; Ana continues to grind her firm ass into my crotch in tune with the beats of the music. All too quickly, I find myself incredibly turned on by her dancing and I grasp her hips to pull her closer to me. I pull her ass tight against my crotch so she can feel just how much I want her.

"Can you feel that?" I whisper into her hear as I flex my hips forward so my erection is firm between her ass cheeks. "This is what you do to me."

"Maybe I can take care of that later tonight for you" she says spinning around and grinding her front against me.

"God, you're killing me Ana" I bite her earlobe.

"Come, Elliot is signaling us that the food has arrived" Ana says pulling away from me.

"Not yet," I say. "Give me a minute."

Ana giggles realizing why I cannot just walk away from her right now. Anyone within a mile of us would be able to see just how much I wanted Ana if I let her step away right now. We stand there making small talk for a few minutes before I finally feel like I can walk again. We walk back to the table to find Elliot and Kate in a full out make session nearly knocking over our drinks.

"Excuse us" Ana laughs as we approach the table.

"Sorry" Kate mumbles sitting back up to the table.

We eat our dinner, which was good really well as Elliot had heard. Ana and I finish a bottle of wine before ordering a second one just as we are finishing dinner. It's been so nice hanging out with Elliot, Kate and Ana; I've never been on a double date before. The girls head off to the bathroom together giggling the entire way.

"What's your plan with Ana tonight?" Elliot asks as the girls are out of ear shot.

"What do you mean?" I'm confused.

"Well, I drove Ana here…do you want me to take her back because I was hoping Kate might come back to my place but I know if we end up taking Ana home Kate will want to stay at her place. I have a much bigger bed and I've been dying to try it out with her-" Elliot says.

"No details please!" I interrupt. "All kidding aside, I'm hoping Ana will come back to my place with me tonight so you won't need to give her a ride. And if she doesn't for some reason I will take her home."

Just as we finish talking, the girls appear from the bathroom and the four of us make our way to the dance floor. The more alcohol Ana has in her the more free she becomes with dancing. Her arms are all over me as she grinds her entire body against mine. Every move she makes she turns me on further and I don't know how much longer I can last.

"Come home with me tonight?" I ask.

"I was hoping you would ask me" she admits blushing.

"Is that a yes" I ask, pulling her hips into me so her clit grinds up against my erection.

"Hmmmmmmmm….yes" she moans.

"Hey guys, I'm going to take Kate home she is pretty wasted already" Elliot says interrupting us.

"Is she okay? Do you need me to come home with her?" Ana worriedly pulls away from me to look at Kate who is being held up by Elliot.

"No, I'm sure she will be fine as long as soon as she finds a bed" Elliot says.

"As loooooong as 'ts your bed" Kate drunkenly says.

"Christian, can you take Ana home?" Elliot asks, unsure what my plans are.

"I think we will be leaving soon to head back to my place actually" I answer. "You okay to drive, or do you want me to have Taylor take you home first?"

"I'm fine" Elliot swears. "I've only had two beers and that was hours ago over dinner. I had a feeling Kate might get drunk."

"Drive safe" I say grabbing Ana's hips and bringing her close to me once again.

Ana turns around so her back is against my chest, she reaches around to pull my crotch closer to as she grinds herself back and forth against me. My hands are all over her; on her hips, her stomach, rubbing her thighs and occasionally nearing the sides of her breasts. I kiss her neck up and down; she tastes of sweat mixed with Ana which is just perfect. I pull her around so I can kiss her deeply on the lips and pull her ass so her clit is right against my erection again. She wraps her arms around my neck and begins grinding herself shamelessly onto my erection no longer in tune with the beat of the music but to her own beat.

"Let's get out of here" I suggest as it's becoming obvious if we keep this up much longer we could be in trouble.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm" She moans biting my earlobe.

We grab our coats and head out to the car where Taylor is patiently waiting. As soon as we get in the car, she is all over me – practically sitting on my lap.

"You're not drunk are you?" I ask cautiously. If she's drunk I will just take her home and put her to bed. I'm not going to take advantage of her in a drunken state.

"No, I'm not" she says looking me straight in the eye so I know she's not lying. "I've missed you so much, I need to feel close to you again."

"God, I've missed you Ana" I say pulling her onto my lap not caring that she cannot where a seat belt on my lap; I just need to feel closer to her.

The ride to Escala seems to take forever, but I know from the drive here it's really only about fifteen minutes. Taylor rides with us in the elevator, so we try to behave ourselves which is ironic given what he just saw in the back of the SUV. I guess if he was driving he technically didn't see everything but still…I make a mental note to see about having a price window installed on the SUV if that's even possible. As soon as the elevator doors open, Taylor quickly disappears into the security office leaving us alone.

I immediately pull her into me kissing her deeply as we stand in the middle of the foyer. I just want to drag her to my bedroom, but I need to be sure that's what she wants. The passion immediately returns as she reaches her hand between us and strokes my erection causing me to moan into her mouth. I pick her up, she wraps her legs around my waist and I carry her up the stairs causing her to giggle. I don't put her down until we reach my bed and I kick the bedroom shut. I climb on the bed and lay next to her, pulling her close to me again. She wraps her leg around my waist so my erection is right against her sex.

"God I've missed you so much Ana" I moan.

"It's been too long Christian, I need you" she says grinding her sex against me.

I pull her skirt up against her waist as my hand lands on her now drenched panties. She moans loudly as I rub her soaked folds up and down while sucking on her lip. She pulls my shirt roughly, so I roll her on her back so I am leaning over as I take off my shirt. I reach down and take off her shirt as well before removing her bra freeing her beautiful soft breasts. My mouth immediately finds her nipple; she grinds her sex against my erection in response. She pulls my mouth back to hers before reaching down to unbutton my pants and pull them down.

"I need you" she moans.

I kick my pants and underwear off, before tearing her panties in two causing her to giggle and blush. I take her nipple back in my mouth as I rub my erection against her folds feeling just how wet she is for me right now. I can tell her wants me as much as I want her, but I don't think I'm going to last very long tonight. It's been too long since I felt her, since I was this close to her. I'm about to enter her when I realize I don't have a condom; I sit back to reach over to get one from the nightstand drawer.

"You don't need one" she says breathless.

"Huh?" I ask.

"I went to the doctor and I start the pill tomorrow" she blushes. "If want to still use one…"

I capture her mouth in mind, not letting her finish that sentence. The one time I was inside of her without a condom just felt like heaven. I've been thinking of that nonstop over the last several days, desperately wanting to be inside of her again without a barrier. The fact that she did this for me, and so quickly, makes me so happy. My erection is back at her opening and I push in gently as I continue to attack her mouth with mine. Just as I'm about to move in a little more, she reaches down and grabs my ass with her hands pulling me into her roughly while pushing her hips up into mine.

"Oh God," she says once I am fully inside of her.

"You feel so good Ana, you are so tight and so hot" I moan as I begin to pull out and push back in deeply.

"Hmmmmmmmmm" She moans gripping my ass tightly.

Every time I push into her, her walls grab a hold of me tightly as if they don't want me to pull back out. I set a decent pace of rocking back and forth into her as I pinch her nipples. As she gets close to her peak, her hands are all over me trying to pull me deeper from any angle she can get.

"Christian" she moans as I slam into her and rub myself against her clit. "You feel amazing…don't stop…please…"

"I got you" I say slamming into her again.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" she screams. "Again!"

As if I could ever say no to her, I immediately comply and pull almost entire out of her tight sex before slamming into her again as I pinch her nipple hard.

"Come Ana!" I command through gritted teeth.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" She calls out as the orgasm rips through her; her walls grabbing me tight and not letting go.

"Ana!" I yell as I pour myself into her for the first time without a condom.

I collapse on top of, kissing her deeply before gently rolling us to our sides while we stay joined. We are both breathing heavily after that and need a few minutes to catch our breaths. I hope it's only a few minutes, because for me that was just an appetizer.

"I've missed you Christian" she says pulling me in for a deep kiss.

"God, I've missed you Ana" I sigh pulling her closer as I buy face into her neck breathing in her scent deeply. "I love you Ana."


	24. Chapter 24

Author's Note: I cannot thank all of you enough for the PMs and reviews asking if everything was okay since it has been a few days since I posted a chapter. Unfortunately life got in the way at the end of last week preventing me from updating either of my stories. I am a mom to three young boys so I generally will not update on the weekends since my time is devoted to them. This chapter is a little shorter than my last couple however the next chapter is going to be pretty long so I needed to break it up. I hope you enjoy!

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_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 24: Ana's POV: **

"God, I've missed you Ana" Christian says burying his face into my neck before whispering "I love you Ana."

My breath catches; I can't believe he just said that. I have been so nervous for days now that I was the only one falling so hard but now with this admission I realize it wasn't just one sided. Although I still worry that we are rushing it and haven't known each other very long, I know one thing…I feel the same way.

"I love you too Christian" I whisper back.

He immediately pulls his head away from my neck and looks me smiling.

"Say it again" he says.

"I love you Christian" I say with more confidence.

"I love you Ana" he replies back and kisses me deeply.

The kiss quickly becomes passionate as we both pour our emotions into the kiss; the revelation of our feelings to one another has clearly brought us closer together. I think we were both worried that the other wasn't feeling the same way. My hands find their way up to Christian's hair as I tug it to bring him closer to me. Christian's hand wraps around my waist and pulls me closer to him; he is still inside of me as I begin to feel him getting hard again. Feeling him grow inside of me turns me on even more and I rock myself against him which causes him to moan into my mouth. He rolls us over so I am on top of him, he urges me to sit up which I immediately do. In this position he is deep inside of me, deeper than he has ever been before. I'm a little self-conscious in this position; he is looking up at me in admiration and I see nothing but love in his eyes.

He grabs a hold of my hips and gently urges me up and down until I find a rhythm that seems to work for both of us. In this position I can control everything, going as fast or slow as I want, as hard as I want but as the orgasm quickly approaches I realize I'm struggling with maintaining the pace.

"Christian…." I beg.

Sensing what I need, he pulls me down to him, kissing me deeply. He lifts my hips up and begins entering me hard and deep from underneath me. In this new position I have no control over the movements and can just focus on intense feelings.

"Oh God Christian!" I moan.

"You feel so good Ana….so amazing…." He says breathless.

He continues pulling out almost completely before slamming back into me. He hand finds my nipple and the added sensation has me on the brink of another orgasm.

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream as he pinches my nipple hard.

"You're so tight Ana" Christian moans.

"Please Christian" I beg.

"Let go Ana" he says pinching my nipple hard again which sends me over the edge as the orgasm rips through me.

Christian pulls me off of him, lays me next to him on the bed but urges me to lay on my side facing away from him. He pulls my thigh up so my leg rests behind his leg, his erection rubs my sex but he doesn't enter me. Instead he pushes my hair aside, kissing my neck and pinching my nipples as his fingers rub my clit. I grab his head, turning to kiss him deeply as he continues his wonderful assault on my body.

"Christian…" I moan.

"You are so beautiful Ana" he says gently entering me and urging me to bend slightly at the waist.

Once again in this position I have more control, I control the movements the speed and the depth. His hands are all over me, pinching my nipples and rubbing my clit turning me on even more. I can't believe I'm going to come again; I'm so turned on it's getting hard to move.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he pinches my clit.

He pulls my leg off of him before pulling my waist up so he can take control. My knees are bent under me while my head remains on the pillow. Christian takes a hold of my hips and pulls out quickly before slamming hard back into me.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream as he hits that spot deep inside of me perfectly.

"Don't stop!" I scream as he hits it again.

Over and over again he pulls out before slamming hard into me before staying deep inside of me slowly rotating his hips in circles. He reaches under me, pinching my nipples as he continues to plunge deeply into me. I'm on the edge, so close to an orgasm…I just need something….

"Christian!" I beg not entirely sure what for. "Oh God!"

"Come with me Ana" Christian moans before slamming into me deeply as I feel him erupt inside of me.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream I come around him.

Christian slowly pulls out of me before lying next to me, pulling me close to him so my back is against his chest. Very quickly his breathing is heavy and I realize he fell asleep. I am still amazed by his revelation a short time ago, I still worry that we are moving too fast but after feeling the passion from him a few moments ago I am finding myself worrying less. We may have only known each other a few months now but I feel more connected to Christian than I have to anyone in my entire life. I think our closeness is strengthened by the bond that we share over terrible childhoods.

I must have quickly fallen asleep after because the next thing I know the sun coming through from Christian's window is waking me up. I slept completely soundly and wake up feeling well rested and full of energy. I move out of bed, use the bathroom and throw on a T shirt from Christian's drawer plus undergarments before making my way to the kitchen to make some breakfast. I rummage through Christian's cabinets and his fridge trying to decide on what to make him for breakfast. Eventually I settle on omelets with fresh peppers, onions and cubed ham. Just as I'm plating the food and thinking about waking Christian I feel two strong arms pull me against a hard chest hugging me tightly.

"Good Morning beautiful" Christian whispers into my ear kissing my neck.

"Morning" I turn around and kiss him on the lips. "I was just thinking about waking you so you could join me for breakfast."

"I rolled over and you weren't there; then I smelled this delicious breakfast cooking" he smiles.

"I hope you like omelets?" I ask.

"I'll eat pretty much anything Ana" he says "but I do enjoy a good omelet."

"So tell me your plans for this week" Christian asks.

"Classes start back up again tomorrow" I explain. "I have classes every day during the week but I'm typically done by three or four in the afternoon. I am working Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights for dinner service and lunch service next Sunday."

"How is business at the restaurant?" he asks.

"It's picked up lately which is good; it had died down right after Christmas" I answer. "What are your plans for the week?"

"Just the usual" he says vaguely.

"Oh well that explains a lot" I giggle.

"I guess not, huh?" he laughs. "I have a few big meetings this week with a publishing company we recently purchased. We are still in the process of changing several of the systems they have to be more compatible with GEH."

"You own a publishing company?" I ask surprised.

"Yes, as of a couple months ago" he answers. "I own a variety of companies but this is the first publishing company. They are a local company that would have had to file bankruptcy in the next year or so if someone didn't provide them financial backing."

"That's great that you are able to help out a local business like that" I say in awe.

"You know, once you graduate I could get you a job at –" he begins.

"Don't even think it" I interrupt him. "I'm not going to let you get me a job at one of your companies."

"Why not?" he asks.

"Because" I answer. "I don't want to end up with a job only because my boyfriend owns the company. I want to earn it on my own."

"Your boyfriend?" he asks.

"Yes, that is what you are right?" I blush.

"Yes, but that's the first time you have ever referred to me as your boyfriend" he smiles.

"I guess it is" I reach over kissing him lightly on the lips.

"I have to say I'm really loving this outfit" he says tugging on his shirt that comes just to my mid thigh.

"I didn't feel like getting fully dressed this morning just to make breakfast" I reply.

"Good, because I plan on taking your clothes off anyway" he pulls me off the chair holding me against him.

"Is that so?" I ask.

"Yes, you see there is a shower upstairs calling our names" he leads me up the stairs to his bedroom.

"Hmmmmmm" I moan as he kisses me deeply as soon as the bedroom door shuts behind us.

Our hands are all over each other, still exploring one another's bodies. His chest and abs are so firm, his arms so strong. He quickly pulls his shirt over my head as he lifts my breasts out of the confides of my bra. I pull his sweatpants down and begin stroking his rock hard erection causing him to moan in my mouth. My bra and underwear are quickly removed and tossed to the side as his hand gently teases my clit. He slowly walks us into the bathroom, never breaking contact with my lips. He kicks the bathroom door shut before turning me around so my back is against his chest. My head falls against his shoulder as his hands roam my entire body, pinching my nipples, rubbing my clit and cupping my sex.

"Look in the mirror" he whispers.

I open my eyes, immediately turned on even more at the scene before me. I am watching his hands explore my body as his fingers continue to work their magic. I feel myself getting more wet the longer I watch; it's as if I'm watching someone else yet feeling everything that he is doing. He catches my eye in the mirror and smiles at me as he nips my neck and pinches my nipple.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I moan and open my legs a little further granting him more access.

"Don't stop watching" he says. "You close your eyes and I will stop."

"Hmmmmmmmmmm" I moan.

He alternates between rubbing my nipples and pinching my clit as his lips gently suck and bite on my neck. Slowly his fingers find my folds which I don't doubt are now soaked with excitement; he continues to run his fingers up and down my sex occasionally returning to my clit.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I yell as his finger finally enters me.

"You are so beautiful" Christian whispers as he bites my earlobe. "I want you to watch yourself come."

My God this man has a way with words; how is it he can bring me so close to the edge so fast and with a few words make me come so hard? His finger continues to plunge in and out of my body as his other hand tugs at my nipple roughly.

"OH God!" I moan as a second finger enters me.

My head falls back against his shoulder as the feelings begin to overwhelm me and I find myself getting closer to the edge. Quickly I realize my mistake as Christian has stopped all movement, his fingers remain still inside of me while his other hand just holds my breast. I lift my head, open my eyes and resume watching the erotic scene in front of me play out. His eyes catch mine, he smirks at me before his fingers resume plunging in and out of me as his other hand continues its assault on my overly sensitive nipples.

"Christian….oh God" I moan trying hard to look in the mirror so he doesn't stop. "I need you."

"You are so sexy; look at how your body responds to me" he pushes his fingers deeper inside of me.

"Please Christian…I want you" I beg.

"You're not too sore?" He asks finding my eyes in the mirror; his full of concern.

"No….please" I stutter as his fingers continue to push into me deeply but not quite hitting the spot from this position.

"Put your arms on the counter, don't stop watching" he directs to which I immediately comply.

Christian slowly removes fingers causing me to moan at the sudden empty feeling; however I quickly feel his erection rubbing between my folds. Both of his hands are now on my breasts, playing with my nipples as he slowly enters me from behind.

"You feel so good" He moans as he slowly moves in and out of me.

"Hmmmmmmmmm" I say as he finally hits the spot that was begging for attention moments ago.

He continues to a slow pace for several minutes before beginning to move faster and harder inside of me. He moves his hands to my hips holding me steady as he continues to enter me deeply from behind. Looking in the mirror I can see the ecstasy in his face and the hunger in his eyes; he looks like he is as close to an orgasm as I am. My breasts are swinging back and forth in tune to his assault on my body.

"OH God!" I yell as his fingers find my clit again.

"Look in the mirror" he directs as my eyes find his. "Come with me."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I scream as he slams into me hard and deep causing me to erupt around him.

Before my orgasm is finished I feel him swell even more inside of me as he reaches his own orgasm. He pulls me up against him, hugging me closely while still inside of me.

"Wow" I say breathless.

"My thoughts exactly" he replies.

We take a quick shower together before returning to Christian's room to get dressed for the day. Thankfully I don't have to work today, however classes start tomorrow and I still have a few things to get ready at Kate's apartment tonight. As I walk out of Christian's very large walk in closet where I have dressed I see Christian throw his phone on the bed in frustration.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"No" he runs his fingers through his hair practically yanking on it. "Seems as though someone tried to breach our server at GEH overnight and now I need to go into the office today."

"That's okay, I understand" I say kissing him.

"I was looking forward to spending the day with you" He sighs.

"Maybe we can meet up during the week for dinner or something?" I suggest.

"Definitely. I will text you from the office when I can see my schedule but even if I need to rearrange my meetings I will see you this week" he says.

"No, I don't want you losing business because of me. You let me know when you are free and hopefully we will be able to schedule something around my work schedule. I don't mind eating dinner late so if you have a late afternoon meeting don't rush through it because of me" I say.

"Seriously how did I get so lucky" he pulls me in hugging me tightly. "Most girls would be upset that I work so much."

"I'm not most girls" I smile.

"No, you definitely are not" He kisses me passionately.

Christian and I stop at a small Italian bistro for lunch before he drives me back to Kate's apartment. We enjoy a quiet lunch together making small talk about work and our schedules. After we finish lunch, Christian drives me back to Kate's apartment kissing me goodbye before heading to his office likely for the remainder of the day. He apologizes several times before he leaves despite me telling him many times that I understood that his business needed his attention. I can't possibly expect him to give up anything for me nor would I want him to.

"Hi Kate" I say surprised as I see her in the living room when I open the door.

"Well hello" she smiles. "I was wondering when you would be getting home."

"Christian had to go into the office so we had to cut our day short" I explain. "What are you doing home already?"

"Elliot had a project he needed to be on site for today so he dropped me off this morning on his way" she says.

The next couple of weeks fly by as my schedule is filled with classes, studying, work and of course seeing Christian whenever possible. We try to have dinner at least once during the week and then I end up spending most of the weekend at his apartment with him. My classes are going really well and for the first time ever I am less worried about money. The scholarship I received over winter break has helped out tremendously even though the bulk of it still remains in my bank account. Kate refuses to allow me to pay rent so I keep the kitchen well stocked with food and cook whenever we are both home for dinner. This way I don't feel like I'm taking advantage of Kate by staying here and not contributing anything. I'm trying to keep the bulk of the money from the scholarship aside for after graduation since I'm not sure how quickly I will be able to find a job in publishing. I plan on working as long as possible at the restaurant after graduation so at least I will have money coming in.

"Good afternoon Antonio" I say entering his office. We have been meeting for at least an hour twice a week now that Valentine's day is only two weeks away.

"Ah…Ana! How are you? Classes still going well?" he asks gesturing for me to sit down.

"Yes, very well" I answer.

"I've been finalizing the staffing schedule which I wanted to review with you before I post it" he hands me the schedule for the night.

"I think you have a good crew scheduled" I say.

"But?" he asks hearing my hesitation.

"I think we are going to need a second bartender to assist Mark. Maybe someone who can manage both drink orders and running to restock the bar as needed throughout the evening. I'm concerned that if we rely on the break between dinner services to restock we may run out of items earlier and Mark will be left on his own" I explain.

"That's a good point. I will schedule Brian to assist; he is fairly new so this could be a good test for him. Since he wont be running the bar exclusively there should be less pressure on him. And if he gets overwhelmed Mark will be there" Antonio agrees.

"Mark would be a good mentor for Brian," I say. "Staffing looks good as long as everyone works on that day."

"You are worried about people calling out?" he asks.

"Yes, I think a couple might suddenly become ill" I smile.

"I've thought that with a couple of the wait staff as well" Antonio sighs. "I think the kitchen staff is pretty good; they have all been with me for some time now so I doubt they would call out sick on such a big day."

"Can I make a suggestion?" I ask nervously.

"Of course Ana, that's why you have the role you do" he reassures me.

"For Christmas Eve service you had informed staff if we called out sick without a doctor's note that we would not have jobs any longer. I wonder if you should make a similar announcement for Valentine's Day since this is the biggest night of the year" I suggest.

"Already done" he smiles handing me a memo. "This will be posted next to the schedule and included in everyone's paycheck that they receive tonight."

"Oh good, I think that will cut down on the chance that someone will call out sick" I sigh in relief.

"Here is the new layout of the restaurant with the new table numbers assigned" he hands me another diagram. "The dining room will be rearranged Valentine's Day morning to this configuration and the design crew will have the entire area made over at the same time. Everything should be completed by noon. The first dinner service is scheduled for 3pm and the second will start at 7pm."

"Sounds good Antonio; I'm confident the staff you have scheduled to work that night will have the night running smoothly" I say leaving his office to begin my shift.

The remainder of the night goes smoothly; although a few of the wait staff moan about the "call out" policy that Antonio has implemented for Valentine's Day service. Although no one is coming out and saying it, I think I was right when I assumed a few would try calling out sick so they could spend time with their significant others. While Christian and I have not talked about Valentine's Day, he knows that I will be working that night; I'm sure we will do something to celebrate the day some other time. This is the first Valentine's Day that I have been with someone; all the other years it's just been another day that passes by without much of a thought from me.

Leaving the restaurant that night I really think about how much my life has changed in the last few months. I have a permanent roof over my head, I don't have to worry about food or my belongings being stolen, I have a small amount of money in the bank, I have a boyfriend who loves me, I have let someone see and touch my scars and in a few short months I'm going to graduate with honors. Looking back at the crazy childhood I had, I honestly think it's a miracle I didn't end up dead somewhere or addicted to drugs. Not having to worry about sleeping in a shelter or having to clean a bathroom in a rooming house before I can shower is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I am able to concentrate much more on studying and my work at the restaurant.

_How was work tonight? –C _

_Good, plans finalized with Antonio for Vday dinner –A _

_Everyone scheduled to work that you wanted? –C _

_Yes –A _

_Good, it should make your night go smoother –C _

_Hope so –A _

_Can you request off the following weekend? –C _

_It shouldn't be a problem, why? –A_

_I want to take you away –C_

_Away? –A _

_It's a surprise –C _

_You will have to tell me what to pack –A _

_Very little ;-) –C _

I blush at Christian's last text of the evening but find myself looking forward to that weekend. I have no idea where Christian is going to take me but I'm excited at the thought of getting away for a weekend. I can't remember every really just going away for a weekend; I suppose we must have done it when my dad was alive but once he passed away we never really went on vacation or did anything but move around following mom's crazy boyfriends. For the first time in a long time I feel like my life is heading in the right direction and I can actually see myself in the future.


	25. Chapter 25

_All characters belong to E.L. James_

**Chpt. 25 Ana's POV: **

"Good Morning Beautiful" Christian says as I answer the phone.

"Morning" I yawn.

"Too early?" he laughs

"I was up late last night after work finishing a paper that is due this morning" I sigh.

"Hopefully your schedule isn't too busy today and you can find time to take a nap during the day?" he asks.

"I should, I have a pretty big gap between classes later" I answer.

"You're off tomorrow night right?" he asks.

"Yes, I work tonight, off tomorrow and then Valentine's Day craziness on Saturday" I giggle.

"My parents have invited you to dinner; I believe Elliot will be asking Kate to join us as well" Christian says.

"After what happened last time I came to dinner I'm surprised they are inviting me back" I laugh.

"Don't be silly Ana" Christian says. "They know what happened on Christmas wasn't your fault; that was all Elena."

"Ugh, don't say her name. I hope to never see her again" I sigh.

"If I can help it you never will" Christian promises. "Now how about dinner tomorrow night?"

"Sure, my last class ends at 4:30 so I should be back to the apartment around 5" I reply.

"I will pick you up around 5:30? Dinner is at 6" Christian says.

"Sounds good" I answer.

"Would you like to come back to my apartment after dinner? I can take you to work Saturday" Christian asks.

"I would like that" I blush.

"Me too" he says. "See you tomorrow night. I love you Ana."

"I love you too Christian" I hang up.

The morning goes by ever so slowly as the classes seem to drag on longer than usual. I was up until well after two in the morning finishing a paper and then had to be up by 6:30 to get ready for classes. I put off the paper longer than I should have, but I wasn't interested in writing a political paper so I just couldn't get into it. After my late morning class I quickly ran back to Kate's apartment and crashed for a couple of hours before returning to campus for my last class. Once I woke from my nap, I felt much more refreshed than I had all morning. My last class flew by quickly and then I headed to the restaurant for my last meeting with Antonio before the big dinner on Saturday.

"Hi Antonio" I walk into his office.

"Ana, how are you?" He asks.

"I'm good, and you?" I answer.

"Very good. How's that boyfriend of your's? Treating you good?" Antonio asks.

"Yes, he treats me very well" I answer; Antonio has seen Christian drop me off or pick me up a couple times and even once he waited at the bar for me to finish my shift.

"Good" Antonio replies.

"Everything all set for Saturday?" I ask.

"I believe so" Antonio sighs. "The decorations will be set up and the dining room rearranged by noon for the dinner services. The first service is at 3, I would like you to arrive by 1 if possible?"

"Yes, that's fine" I answer.

"Everyone else will arrive just at 2:30. I would recommend you meet briefly with all the staff reviewing how you want things to run for the evening. The same meeting should occur before the 7pm service so you can make any adjustments to processes that may not have run as smoothly during the first dinner service. Similar to the private event you ran, I would like you to sort of float around the restaurant. Checking on the kitchen staff, the wait staff, the bartender and occasionally checking with various guests. I want to make sure the guests have everything they need and are satisfied with their food and the service they receive. All woman will receive a white rose when they are seated so we will need to make sure the hostess desk is fully stocked with roses for both services" he explains.

"That shouldn't be a problem" I say jotting down everything down in my notebook.

"Tonight's service will probably be pretty slow as will tomorrow since people tend to eat out less right before Valentine's Day. If that's the case I will probably send you home a couple hours early since you will be coming in early on Saturday" Antonio says.

"Sure" I leave Antonio's office returning to the dining room.

The night drags on much as the morning did. The energy I gained from my short nap this afternoon quickly wears off and I am thankful when Antonio sends me home just after seven. I quickly walk back to Kate's apartment and immediately crash without even changing out of my work uniform.

"Ana? Ana? Ana!" Kate screams.

"Hmmmmm?" I mumble.

"You're going to be late for classes!" Kate yells.

"Shit!" I sit up in bed glancing at the clock.

I quickly throw on a pair of clothes and literally run to campus as my first class starts less than 20 minutes after Kate woke me up. I wasn't expecting to sleep straight through the night after I came home from work so I never bothered to set an alarm. I make it to the classroom with minutes to spare, sliding into my seat just as the professor walks into the classroom. The rest of the day progresses pretty quickly, however Fridays I have classes back to back all day so I don't have time to run back to Kate's apartment to shower. Luckily Christian isn't picking me up until 5:30 tonight so I will at least have time to shower before dinner at his parents tonight. I'm surprisingly not as nervous as I thought I would be today; I don't know if it's because Kate will be there or that I doubt anything could be as bad as the first time I met them. Unfortunately I don't have time to make something to bring to dinner with me, as much as I would have liked to. Between my work schedule, class schedule and increase in home work there was just no time this week.

"You're finally home! They're going to be here in less than forty-five minutes Ana!" Kate screams as I walk through the door.

"I know! I'm going to grab a quick shower and then figure out something to wear" I head down the hall to my bedroom.

"I picked out something for you, it's on your bed" Kate yells shutting her bedroom door.

"Thank you!" I yell back.

Kate has picked out a very tasteful flowered sundress with a light blue cardigan for me to wear this evening. I quickly shower, dress, quickly blow dry my hair and put on a light dusting of making up just as the door bells rings.

"Ana? Christian's here" Kate knocks on my door.

"I'll be out in one minute" I reply.

I throw on a pair of shoes and the cardigan before heading to the living room where I find Christian sitting at the breakfast bar. He obviously just came from work; he is dressed in a suit complete with a tie looking as sexy as ever.

"Hi beautiful" Christian says kissing me on the cheek.

"You don't look so bad yourself" I reply.

"I love this dress on you, it shows off you legs perfectly" he whispers into my ear.

"Thank you, Kate picked it out" I say.

"Oh Kate, Elliot is running late and asked me to bring you to our parent's house. His work site is closer to their house so he is going to head over there and shower quickly before dinner" Christian says as Kate walks into the living room.

"Sure, thanks Christian" Kate replies.

As usual Taylor is waiting downstairs at Christian's Audi SUV for us; I wonder if Christian ever goes anywhere without Taylor I giggle to myself as we get into the car. The drive to Christian's parents is relatively quick and Kate smile when she sees Elliot's truck in the driveway. I'm sure she wasn't looking forward to meeting Elliot's parents without him being there.

"Mother, Father…you remember Ana" Christian introduces us as we walk into the beautiful foyer of the Grey's house.

"It's so nice to see you again Ana" Mrs. Grey says hugging me.

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner Mrs. Grey" I reply.

"Please Ana, it's Grace" she says.

"Nice to see you again" Mr. Grey shakes my hand.

"You as well Mr. Grey" I say.

"Carrick please" he says.

"And this is Kate, Ana's roommate and Elliot's date if he is anywhere to be found" Christian glances in the great room.

"He is just changing his clothes; it's wonderful to meet you Kate. We've heard wonderful things about you" Grace says shaking her hand.

"Thank you" Kate says quietly.

I've never seen Kate look so nervous before; she is typically cool, calm and collected always confident in herself. Just as we enter the great room Elliot comes running down the steps hugging Kate forcefully whispering what I can only assume is an apology in her ear.

"Hi Elliot?" I giggle.

"Oh yeah, sorry" Elliot laughs pulling away from Kate. "Nice to see you again Ana."

"You too Elliot" I say.

"Thank you Christian for bringing Kate here too" Elliot says shaking Christian's hand.

"No problem" Christian replies.

"Dinner is ready if you all would join us in the dining room" Grace enters the great room.

"So Elliot, were you able to finish the project you were working on today?" Christian asks as dinner is being served.

"I did….the owner of the site was very specific in his design request but we managed to have it all complete by his deadline" Elliot smirks.

"I'm sure he is appreciative of that" Christian smiles.

"So Ana, I understand you are working at Campenilla's tomorrow for their dinner services?" Grace asks.

"Yes, I will be working both dinner services as we are booked with reservations" I answer.

"It's a shame you will be working all day on Valentine's Day" Carrick says.

"That's okay, I'm taking Ana away next weekend to celebrate" Christian leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

"Elliot, Kate do you have plans tomorrow night?" Grace asks.

"Yes, but Elliot won't tell me what" Kate pouts.

"It's a surprise" Elliot winks at her.

"Grace, Carrick do you have plans?" I ask.

"Yes, Christian has arranged for us to have dinner aboard his boat actually" Grace beams.

"How romantic!" Kate exclaims.

The conversation continues to flow comfortably over dinner and desert. Thankfully there are no interruptions this time as we begin our desert. There is no mention of Elena but Christian has told me that his parents have cut off all contact with her and forbidden her to attend any events at their hours or that Grace hosts. I didn't expect to see her here tonight, however as the night winds down I am relieved that she did not unexpectedly show up.

"Thank you again for having us for dinner" I hug Grace and Carrick goodbye.

"Thank you for everything you have done for Christian" Grace whispers in my ear confusing me.

"I hope you will join us again; you are always welcome here" Carrick says hugging me.

"Shall we?" Christian leads me to the awaiting car where Taylor opens the door.

The ride to Christian's apartment is fairly quick but I quickly find myself almost nodding off on Christian's shoulder as Taylor drives. It's been a very long couple of weeks and I think it's finally catching up with me. We must have arrived at Christian's apartment as the next thing I know Christian is laying me on his bed taking off my shoes.

"Oh, sorry I guess I fell asleep" I giggle.

"I didn't want to wake you" he says lying next to me on the bed.

"Are you not sleeping well?" Christian asks.

"So so" I sigh. "I had a couple late nights this week finishing papers or reading assignments for my classes. Mid terms are coming up so it feels like the professors are really dumping everything on us right now."

"Maybe you should cut back your hours at the restaurant" Christian suggests.

"I've thought about that," I admit. "But I looked at the schedule next week and Antonio only has me working two days during the week at least as of right now. His business tends to slow down after the holidays so I don't think I will be working as much."

"You really should be getting at least eight hours of sleep a night" Christian lectures.

"Christian, even if things weren't so busy right now it would be a rare occasion for me to get eight hours of sleep every night you know that. Besides when was the last time you got eight hours of sleep?" I ask.

"When I'm sleeping next to you" Christian says kissing me on the cheek. "Let's get some sleep."

"That sounds wonderful" I yawn exhaustion setting in.

I change into one of Christian's t shirts and climb into his bed just as he finishes in the bathroom joining me in his bed. He pulls me close to him with my back to his chest and we both quickly fall asleep.

_"Nooooooooooooo!" I scream as the belt lands across my back._

_"You lying Bitch! I know you took my pills, now where the fuck are they?" He yells hitting me again._

_"I swear, I don't have them" I scream._

_He pulls me up by my hair and tosses me against the living room wall knocking the picture frames off the wall which shatter against my head. He quickly comes over and kicks my ribs several times until I hear at least one of them crack. I know my ribs are broken as I take a deep breath and yell out in pain._

_"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" I yelp._

_"That will teach you to take my pills!" He kicks me hard again before tossing me into my bedroom locking the door from the outside._

_I quickly crawl into my closet and hide under the clothes afraid he is returning. I can never tell when he is done but eventually I hear him storm out of the living room, slamming the front door shut. I listen for his car to go down the dirt driveway before I try to leave my room only to find that he has once again locked me in my room. The last time he did this I had no food for days; after that I hid a couple bottles of water and some granola bars that I had leftover from lunch in the back of my closet. _

_"Get out here bitch!" he yells waking me up by dragging me out of bedroom by my hair._

_"Didn't you learn your lesson yesterday?" he screams throwing me against the kitchen table. _

_"I didn't do anything!" I sob trying to get up but he just holds me down._

_"You stole my fucking pills yesterday and now my booze is missing! You filthy whore! You probably traded it to your boyfriend for sex last night!" He yells hitting me the paddle he keeps on the kitchen wall._

_"Owwwwwwwwwww!" I scream as the paddle lands on the center of my back._

_"Was he a good fuck last night?" Wack "Was he worth it?" Wack "Huh?"_

_"I was locked in my room, I didn't leave!" I sob._

_End flashback_

"Ana! Ana!" I hear my name being called and wake up to find Christian shaking me.

"Sorry….I….woke…you" I stutter trying to wake up from the dream.

"Come here" Christian says pulling me close to him.

He holds me tight against his chest, rubbing my back and whispering in my ear how much he loves me until my breathing finally returns to normal.

"Are you okay?" he asks after a few moments.

"Yeah…." I sigh. "I didn't meant to wake you."

"It's okay, don't worry about it. It looked like it was a pretty rough nightmare?" he asks.

"Yeah" I answer.

"What helps you after a nightmare?" he asks. "For me it's playing the piano, it helps get my mind off of it."

"I don't know…."I sigh. "At the boarding homes there wasn't much of an option for things to do so I would be stuck in my room. Sometimes walking around would help. Remember the morning I spilled coffee on you?"

"How could I forget?" he smiles.

"I woke up that morning around three having a nightmare; I was staying at a shelter at the time so there wasn't many options for calming down. I ended up leaving the shelter and walking to campus-" I describe.

"Are buses even running at that hour? The campus is open?" He interrupts.

"Well no to both of your questions" I answer. "Buses typically don't start running until at least six depending on the day of the week and the route. I walked to campus which from the shelter ended up taking a couple of hours. By the time I reached campus the gym and pool were open which meant the showers were open. That's where I was before I ran into you at the coffee shop."

"Ana" he sighs. "Walking the roads of Seattle in the middle of the night isn't safe. Please promise me you won't do that again."

"Christian, I don't know that I can promise that. Sometimes it really helped" I say sadly.

"No!" He exclaims pulling away so he can look me in the eye. "I don't care what time of the night it is, if you need to go for a walk to calm down from a nightmare I want you to call me. If talking doesn't help I will go for a walk with you. It's not safe for a beautiful woman like you to be walking the streets at three in the morning! Please promise me!"

"I promise" I reluctantly give in hating the idea that I would be waking him in the middle of the night again.

"Maybe there's other things that could help that are less dangerous" he suggests.

"Maybe…" I agree.

"How about a hot shower? That's something you could do at the apartment and it wouldn't even wake Kate since you have your own bathroom" He suggests.

"That's not a bad idea. After a few of the nightmares I have wanted to just take a really hot shower but it was never possible at the shelters or even the boarding home. There if you wanted a shower you had to take a bottle of disinfectant with you" I laugh.

"How about a shower right now?" He suggests pulling me out of bed.

"Don't you need to sleep? I don't want to keep you up even longer" I say.

"Nonsense….If I get tired I will sleep later. I want to take care of you; make sure you can go back to sleep. You have a very long day today" he reminds me.

Christian turns the shower water on and gently removes all my clothing before opening the door for me. I climb in the shower and let the water cascade over my entire body for several minutes before I realize that I am still alone in the shower. I see Christian sitting on the edge of the tub watching me; I think he is uncertain if he should join me.

"Christian?" I ask.

"Hmmmm?" He answers.

"Please join me" I open the door inviting him in.

"Are you sure?" he asks standing up.

"Please" I say.

Christian quickly undresses and joins me in the shower, pulling me close to him holding me tightly. He gently washes my hair and the rest of my body before doing the same for himself. Just as he steps away from the water I wrap my arms around his neck and put my head on his chest. His arms immediately wrap around me waste and he holds me tight for several minutes. I cannot believe how much things have changed since I first met him; I never would have thought I would be able to do this with a man.

"Thank you" I whisper.

"Anything to make you feel safe Ana" He whispers back kissing me on the cheek.

"Do you want me to get you something else to wear?" he asks.

"Just another t shirt from your dresser please" I answer.

He quickly returns with a t shirt that I put on as he puts on a pair of boxes and we both head back to bed. It's only two in the morning so thankfully there is still plenty of time to sleep before I have get ready for work today. Wrapped in Christian's arms, I quickly fall back asleep and manage to sleep the remainder of the morning without another nightmare. I sleep soundly until I hear Christian coming out of the bathroom and realize the sun is shining brightly through his balcony doors.

"What time is it?" I stretch sitting up.

"A little after ten" he sits back on the bed next to me.

"Wow, I can't believe I slept so late!" I laugh. "Did you just wake up too?"

"I've been up for a little while now, I was catching up on emails in bed" he says.

"Thank you again for last night" I say shyly.

"Ana, I meant what I said last night. I will do anything to make you feel safe; I love you" He kisses me deeply wrapping his arms around me to pull me close to him.

"God, I love you Christian" I whisper.

Our kiss quickly becomes passionate as we both pour our emotions into the kiss. He gently leans me back onto the bed so we are lying side by side, his lips never leaving mine. His hands quickly find my breasts through his t shirt that I'm still wearing as I wrap my leg around his waist pulling him closer to me. My hands are entangled in his hair as I suck on his lips. He groans as his hand moves under my shirt and he discovers that I never put on underwear after our shower last night. I reach in between our bodies and find his hard erection which I begin to gently stroke. He flips me over so I am laying on top of him, straddling his pelvis.

"Take your shirt off" he says.

I quickly sit up and pull the shirt over my head giving him full access to my bare breasts which he takes full advantage of. Sitting on top of him this position I can feel his erection grinding against my sex as he plays with my nipples and my breasts. I lean down kissing him deeply while slowly rubbing myself over his erection eliciting a moan from him.

"You're wearing too many clothes" I say pulling his shirt up between us.

"As you wish" he flips me back over so he is now leaning over me.

Christian pulls his shirts off as I rub my hands up and down his firm chest and abdomen before pulling his boxer briefs off. He leans over me taking my mouth in his just as his erection finds my sex again, I moan and try to move my hips closer to his erection but he responds by holding my hips in place. He gently kisses my neck, slowly making his way to my breasts where he pauses to suck and nibble on my nipples. He continues kissing my stomach slowly making his way to my sex where he gently kisses my clit before sucking on my folds. He pushes my legs apart so he can have better access to me as his mouth returns to my clit sucking it hard.

"Ahhhhhhhhh" I moan as his fingers begin exploring the outside of my sex.

Christian alternates between sucking on my clit and nibbling on my folds which I'm sure are now drenched with excitement as I the orgasm quickly approaches. I subconsciously find my hips bucking against his face, wanting more as the need for an orgasm takes over. Christian grabs my thighs firmly, pulling them apart before his mouth finds my sex once again.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I moan as his tongue finally enters me and his thumb gently rubs my clit.

His tongue continues its attack on me, thrusting in and out of me bringing me closer and closer to the brink of a strong orgasm. His thumb leaves my clit as his finger and tongue are both in me fighting for space.

"Oh God!" I exclaim as he sucks hard on my folds as his finger thrusts deep inside of me.

His mouth quickly finds my clit again just as a I feel a second finger enter me which is almost my undoing. He curls his fingers deep inside of me finding that magical spot that I never knew existed before Christian as he thrusts in and out of me deeply.

"Ah! Christian….I'm so close" I yell holding his head against my clit fearing he will stop the wonderful assault on my sex.

"Don't stop….Please….oh God….Christian!" I scream as the orgasm takes over just as he sucks harder than ever on my clit sending me over the edge.

He quickly climbs up to me, kissing me deeply as his fingers continue to move in and out of me prolonging my orgasm. He quickly removes his fingers from deep inside of me and slams his erection into me causing me to moan in pleasure as my walls finally stop trembling from the orgasm.

"God you feel so good Ana" He says thrusting and out of me with my legs wrapped tightly around his waist.

Christian continues thrusting in and out of me hitting that magical spot every time he enters me deeply. He moves up little which applies just enough pressure on my clit as I find the next orgasm quickly approaching. This man truly knows exactly what my body needs to respond to him; he knows exactly what to do to make me come.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" I moan as his fingers pinch my nipples hard.

"I'm so close Ana" he moans as he slams himself deep inside of me.

"Oh God! Don't stop" I beg as he picks up the pace and force in which he is thrusting into me.

"I'm with me baby" Christian says before pulling all the way and thrusting into me hard and deep.

"Yes! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream as the orgasm takes over my body.

"Ana!" Christian yells as I feel him reach his orgasm inside of me.

"I love you" I whisper holding him tight against me.

"I love you too Ana. I wish we could spend all day in bed, just like this" he says gently moving himself back and forth inside of me making a point.

"Me too" I sigh.

We make our way to the bathroom, taking a nice long hot shower together before deciding we need to face reality and start the day. Taylor had brought up my overnight bag from the SUV last night so after breakfast I change into my uniform making sure I have a spare one in the bag incase this one gets dirty during the first dinner service. Antonio has made it clear to everyone that he expects us to look impeccable tonight for both services.

"Happy Valentine's Day Baby" Christian says handing me a narrow light blue box.

"I thought we weren't celebrating until next weekend? I didn't bring your gift with me" I pout.

"That's okay, we will still be celebrating next weekend but I thought maybe you could wear this tonight?" he asks shyly.

I gently open the box and find a beautiful white gold chain with a diamond encrusted heart hanging from it. I'm sure my jaw is on the floor as I have never seen something so beautiful in my entire life. The heart is the perfect size, not too big that people would gawk at it but just big enough to compliment an outfit. Christian takes the necklace from the box and puts it on me before I protest about the obscene amount of money I can only imagine something like this must have cost him.

"Christian….it's absolutely beautiful" I finally pick my jaw up off the floor.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you" he says kissing me.

"I really wish you wouldn't spend so much money on me" I complain. "The clothes you have for me here, the phone, the necklace plus the weekend away….it's all too much."

"I know you don't like me spending money on you but I have never had anyone that I wanted to spend money on before you. Without you, all this money means nothing to me. I want to show you how much I love you and when I saw this necklace I immediately knew you had to have it. This way my heart is always next to yours even when we are not together" he leans down and kisses me deeply.

"Don't make me cry before I have to leave for work Christian!" I hug him tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too Ana" Christian says.


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Note: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews; I truly enjoy reading every one of them. This chapter is pretty sure but I had to end it where I did...you will understand why when you finish the chapter.

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_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 26 Ana's POV: **

"What time do you need to leave for work?" Christian asks.

"In about an hour or so" I answer finishing the lunch that Gail has made for us.

"I want to show you something before we leave" he pulls me up from the breakfast bar.

He leads me upstairs to the room that once was his playroom; the last time I saw this room it was completely empty and painted white. He slowly opens the door, guiding me inside and I am truly surprised at the transformation of this room. What once was his playroom, is now a beautiful library. The walls are painted a warm brown, there are floor to ceiling bookcases filled with more books than I could ever possibly dream of owning, there are two oversized armchairs and a beautiful desk next to the window with a perfect view of downtown Seattle. I walk over to the bookshelves and can't help but run my hands over the books as I read through the titles.

"Christian the transformation of this room is really amazing" I say in awe.

"Yeah, Elliot really out did himself on this one" he agrees.

"Elliot?" I ask.

"Remember the night when he was late to my parents for dinner? He was finishing this project" Christian answers.

"Ah, so you were the owner with the very specific design request" I recall the conversation from that evening.

"Yes" he smiles. "I wanted this room to be something completely different than what it was before. I wanted it to be warm and inviting; I want you to feel comfortable in here so you can enjoy it whenever you are here. There will likely be times when you are here and I'm stuck on a call or working so this could be a place for you to spend some time in."

"Christian, I could spend days in here" I sigh. "This room is truly amazing…"

"I'm glad you like it. There's a desk set up so that either of us could work in here if we wanted. If you ever need a place to study, you can always come here. Even if it's the middle of the work day, it doesn't matter" Christian says.

"Christian…you really are something. How is it that all those other woman let you go?" I say in admiration.

"No one ever saw this side of me; hell I didn't even know this side of me existed" he sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "I knew I wanted something more than just sex from woman but I had no idea what I truly wanted until I found you. I never thought someone would ever love me; that they would be able to look past my nightmares and terrible childhood."

"I love you Christian" I say kissing him deeply.

"I really wish you could stay here with me today" he sighs as we walk out of the new library.

"Me too" I agree. "Maybe we can make up for it next weekend?"

"Oh I plan on it" he smirks.

"What time should I pick you up tonight?" Christian asks as we drive to the restaurant.

"Christian it's going to be pretty late when I get off of work tonight. I'm going to head back to Kate's after work" I answer.

"I can drive you to Kate's" Christian suggests.

"That would be silly; she only lives three blocks from the restaurant and you live several miles. I've walked home plenty of times" I say.

"Are you sure? I could easily come pick you up, it's not a problem" he replies.

"Christian, I'm sure. I walk back and forth to the apartment all the time. How about I call you when I'm leaving and we can talk when I'm walking?" I suggest.

"I suppose" he agrees in comprises.

"You worry too much" I reach up and kiss him.

"I know" he sighs. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll call you when I leave" I promise as I exit the SUV and head into the restaurant.

I quickly put my jacket and bag in the kitchen before taking a walk around the restaurant. Antonio has really out done himself today; the dining room has an incredible romantic feel. Gone are all the large tables, replaced with smaller, more intimate tables. A few of the tables can seat up to four people, but the vast majority are designed to seat two. Each table has candle on it to provide a more intimate setting for the couple and the lights in the dining room are dimed. All the tables are covered with white linen with red napkins placed which match the chairs perfectly as they are also covered in white linen but have a red bow tied around the back. There are vases full of flowers placed strategically all over the dining room adding even more to the romantic feeling of the room.

"What do you think Ana? Did my wife go overboard?" Antonio walks out of his office.

"Oh no, Antonio. This is absolutely breathtaking" I sigh. "It's perfect, everyone will love it."

"That's what she said" he laughs.

I great the kitchen staff who are already hard at work preparing various parts of tonight's meal and stocking the kitchen. I check out the walk in cooler, insuring everything needed tonight is near the front to reduce the amount of walking that everyone will need to do thus saving more time. I check to make sure the soda machine is fully stocked and all the tanks are filled. The dishwasher has already been emptied and the kitchen is fully stocked with all the dishes for tonight. Returning to the dining room, I organize the hostess station, removing the old seating chart so there is no chance of confusion. I move a small table next to the hostess station which will be perfect to hold the roses for all the women who come in tonight.

Just as I'm finishing checking on everything the wait staff for the first shift begin to arrive. The stronger staff will be working both dinner shifts tonight whereas the newer staff or those who struggle working doubles will only work one shift. Several are working only the first shift, then will trade off with others when they come in just before the second dinner shift starts. It will be a little confusing this way, but Antonio and I both agreed that it was better than having staff who struggling working lunch and dinner working two very busy dinner shifts back to back.

"Happy Valentine's Day everyone!" I say as everyone convenes in the kitchen before we open. "I want to thank everyone for coming in today and for being on time. We all know we have a very busy night tonight but I am confident that we can pull it off without any problems. My role here tonight is to make your jobs easier; if you see something that isn't working let me know. If you see something that is out of place, let me know. If you have a suggestion of how something could work better, please let me know. We are going to learn from the first dinner service and make adjustments as needed for the second service. Mary is the hostess tonight directing John and Susan who will bring the couples to the specified tables and provide them with menus. Everyone is going to be provided with a pager tonight which we had used a couple years ago. Tonight you will be paged when someone is seated in your area and then again when your food is ready by the kitchen. These will vibrate against you so I recommend you wear them as close to your body as possible; I always wore mine on my waist band. Any questions about the pagers?"

"No?" I pause. "Okay, Mark will be the lead bartender tonight and Brian will serve as back up. Brian's functions will be split tonight; his first priority will be to insure that the bar is always stocked whether or liquor, beer, ice or glasses. His second priority will be to provide back up to Mark as needed when drink orders start pouring in. Our kitchen staff tonight is Josh as the head cook along side Adam, Stacy and Dave. Steve and Cory will be on dishes tonight including the clearing of tables. Our wait staff for the entire night are Mary, Aaron, Mandy and Joe; first shift includes Beth and Kevin while second shift includes Allison and Kyle. Any questions?"

"Do you have copies of the seating areas? I'm afraid I'm going to forget where my area is" Beth asks.

"Sure, here are copies" I hand out copies that was previously provided to everyone. "In case any becomes confused during service tonight, I have several copies posted throughout the restaurant. Obviously Mary has one, but I would prefer everyone not surround the hostess stand since that is where the customers will be greeted tonight. There are laminated copies tacked in the kitchen near the soda machine, the condiment station and the coffee pot. There is a laminated copy at each computer station in the drawers as well as a copy in the drawer of the bar. Of course you are always welcome to ask me as well. Other questions?"

"Okay, we are about to open so everyone have a wonderful first dinner shift. We will meet briefly again before the second shift to see what if any changes we need to make so the next service runs as smooth as this one will" I conclude the meeting as every disperses to their assigned area.

I was a nervous wreck before I met with everyone, concerned about how I would be received since this would be the first event in which I was in my new role. I think the brief meeting went well; hopefully I conveyed that my role was to support them which was my goal tonight. Antonio opens the doors and my first Valentine's Day service as an Assistant Manager begins. The customers are seated quickly, as I observe the dining room I can see the wait staff greeting each customer soon after they are seated. The wait staff quickly place the first drinks of the night as customers look over the menus before appetizers start pouring in. We are working with a limited menu tonight given the large amount of people we are expected to fill.

As the first dinner service progresses, I slowly make my way through the dining room stopping at every few tables to gage how the customers experiences are. Just as I'm about to return to the kitchen I am shocked to see the customer sitting at the one of the tables; Elena and a young man who is easily half her age. She gives me a death look as I walk by her table, purposely not stopping to see how her experience is tonight. I quickly walk towards the kitchen acting as if I'm checking the drink station, when in reality I just needed to get away from her. Every time I see her I can only think of the abuse she put Christian through, convincing him that she was helping him when she was really controlling his entire life.

"How's everything going Ana?" Antonio approaches me interrupting me thoughts about the blond bitch.

"It's running smoothly" I answer. "I've received all positive feedback from the guests, the wait staff seem to be working well together and the bar is keeping up on the drinks."

"Very good, you are doing an excellent job" Antonio returns to the dining room talking with several of the regular customers who he knows well.

The first dinner service concludes without any issues and I am relieved when I see Elena and her boy toy leaving the restaurant. Every time I walked by her table she would glare at me as if I did something wrong. I don't know if she blames me for what happened on Christmas since her friendship with the Grey's is now ruined or if she is jealous that I am involved with Christian. I can't shake the feeling that I have not seen the last of her even when she leaves the restaurant. I'm tempted to call Christian but it seems childish to call him and say that she gave me a dirty look.

**Christian's POV:**

I return home from dropping Ana off at work and I can't help but feel disappointed that she wouldn't let me pick her up tonight. Her reason made sense, but I wanted to make sure she got home safely. I hate the idea that she has to walk home from work so late at night. I was furious when she said she would leave the shelter or boarding home in the middle of the night to start walking to campus which could take a couple of hours to get to. I wonder how mad she would be if I bought her a car? It would eliminate the need for her to walk around at night or even during bad weather and she wouldn't have to rely on public transportation to get her places. My only hesitation is how I could get her to accept the car; I doubt funding another scholarship at the university would fix this situation. I already purchased her the latest Apple laptop to give her when we are in Aspen next weekend. She was already unhappy with me for spending so much on the necklace, I'm concerned about her reaction when she sees the laptop. Unlike almost every woman I know, Ana hates when I spend money on her. Maybe Flynn can help me figure out how to give her a car without her getting mad when I see him this afternoon.

"Sir, we should leave" Taylor knocks on my office door.

"I'm ready" I shut down my computer, grabbing my phone before following Taylor to the garage.

We drive the short distance to Dr. Flynn's office where I wait for a few minutes before seeing him since we arrived early.

Flynn: Good Afternoon Christian.

Christian: How are you?

Flynn: Good, and you?

Christian: I'm well. Do you have plans for dinner tonight with your family?

Flynn: Yes, I'm taking my wife out for a late dinner as her parents are watching the kids for the night.

Christian: That's nice.

Flynn: What would you like to talk about today?

Christian: I need your help.

Flynn: Okay…help with what?

Christian: I need you to help me figure out how to give Ana a car without her getting mad at me.

Flynn: A car?

Christian: Yes. She doesn't have one and ends up walking or taking public transportation everywhere.

Flynn: There's nothing wrong with that Christian. I bet half the people living in Seattle don't own a car; sometimes it's just not practical or affordable.

Christian: That's just it, affordability isn't an issue for me and her apartment building seems to have adequate parking. If it doesn't I could purchase her a parking spot at the building.

Flynn: What bothers you about her taking public transportation or walking?

Christian: It's not safe. Too many things could happen to her.

Flynn: That's not entirely true. There are many more car accidents on the roads than there are accidents involving the subway or a bus.

Christian: I suppose (pause). But like tonight, she is walking three blocks from the restaurant she works in back to her apartment. It's going to be pretty late by the time she is off of work, yet she is going to be walking.

Flynn: You aren't picking her up? I'm surprised you didn't insist on it.

Christian: I tried (sigh), she wouldn't let me. She said it didn't make sense since she lives only three blocks from her work whereas I live several miles.

Flynn: She has a point.

Christian: I know, but she is still walking home late at night which I hate the idea of.

Flynn: Did you to compromise on tonight?

Christian: Sort of. She is going to call me when she leaves work so we can talk while she is walking home.

Flynn: That seems fair.

Christian: For tonight, but what about next time she works late? She usually works the dinner shift and on weekends it can end fairly late. Then she walks to and from school or takes the bus most days. If she would just accept a car she wouldn't have to walk everywhere and I wouldn't have to worry about her safety. Why does she have to be so damn independent?

Flynn: But isn't that one of the things you love about her?

Christian: Yes it is (smiling). I just wish sometimes she wouldn't complain about the money I spend on her. This morning I gave her a necklace from Tiffany's as an early Valentine's Day present and she immediately complained that I'm spending too much money on her because of the clothes I bought for her to keep at my apartment, her new cell phone and the trip to Aspen next weekend. I don't know what she would do if she found out about the scholarship I gave her.

Flynn: Scholarship?

Christian: Oh yeah (looking away). I sort of provided the university she attends with a very large scholarship slated just for her. It paid off the balance she owed and provided her with $10,000 in cash. It allowed her to move into her current apartment that she shares with her best friend so she didn't have to live in a boarding house any longer.

Flynn: How do you think she will react when she finds out the money came from you?

Christian: I don't think that she can. The university agreed to hide the money so there was no record of it coming from me and she believes the money was provided to her because her high GPA.

Flynn: Do you think you should tell her the truth?

Christian: Why? Then she wouldn't accept the money and she would be back to living in a shitty neighborhood in a house that is busted for drugs regularly.

Flynn: Do you plan on telling her?

Christian: I don't know (pause). What does this have to do with you helping me to find a way to give Ana a car?

Flynn: It's the same situation Christian. You would essentially be giving her something that you think she needs without talking to her first.

Christian: But if I talk to her about it she would refuse, there's no way she would be willing to accept a car from me!

Flynn: Then I think you have your answer.

Christian: So I have to sit back and let her walk everywhere?

Flynn: Or convince her to let you or Taylor drive her everywhere.

Christian: This isn't helpful.

Flynn: I think you knew that you couldn't give her a car when you walked in here today Christian.

Christian: Why can't she be like most women and like me spending money on her?

Flynn: If she were like every other woman would you love her as much as you do?

Christian: No (sigh).

Flynn: Be honest with her Christian.

Christian: I will think about it.

I leave Dr. Flynn's office and return home just in time for Gail's delicious home baked macaroni and cheese made with fresh homemade dinner rolls. Once again Gail out does herself on this dinner; I only wish Ana were here to enjoy it with me. After dinner I spend a few hours in my office working, sorting through emails and reading various financial reports. Looking at my watch I see that Ana should be wrapping up the last dinner shift so I hope to hear from her soon. I'm guessing it will still be another hour or two since she probably has to assist in the cleaning up tonight. I'm looking forward to taking her to Aspen next weekend; I have a mountain home there that I don't get to use very much. I've taken my family there on several occasions but I haven't really had a chance to enjoy it since I bought it several years ago. I don't know if Ana likes to ski or even knows how, but there are several ski resorts nearby that we could try. If not there is still plenty to do from shopping to ice skating to sight-seeing. Honestly I would be perfectly find spending the entire weekend locked in the house with Ana.

"Hi baby" I answer the phone.

"Hi Christian" Ana says. "Hold on a minute….okay…yes…thank you…see you next week. Sorry about that Christian, I was just saying goodbye to Antonio."

"Are you leaving now?" I ask.

"Putting on my jacket as we speak" she giggles.

"How was your night?" I ask.

"It went very well" she says proudly. "We had no problems at all and the both services went off without a hitch."

"That's wonderful, I knew you could do it" I reply.

"Yeah it was….." she begins.

Suddenly I hear screeching of tires, a loud bang and people screaming in the background. I'm calling Ana's name but no one is picking up the phone. I can't hear Ana's voice but I can tell the people screaming are not her. I am pacing my office while screaming her name trying to figure out what to do next. Taylor quickly appears at my door, likely hearing me scream.


	27. Chapter 27

Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews and the PMs about the last chapter! I love reading the speculation as to what happened to Ana, who did it and whether or not she will live. This is probably the last chapter I will post until Monday as my weekends are usually spent chasing my three kids around. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

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_All characters belong to E.L. James_

**Chpt. 27 Christian's POV:**

"Ana! ANA!" I scream into the phone with no response.

"Sir, I will trace her phone" Taylor says.

"She just left the restaurant" I grab my jacket as Taylor and I race for the door.

"Ana!" I yell again into the phone. All I can hear is mumbling in the background.

"Hello?" A male voice says into the phone.

"Who is this? Why do you have Ana's phone?" I question.

"My name is Antonio-" the voice on the other end of the phone says.

"Antonio, this is Christian Grey" I introduce.

"Ah, yes Ana's boyfriend" He says. "Mr. Grey, she was hit by a car and is lying on the street. I think she is unconscious."

"Oh God….is she….is she?" I can't say the word.

"She's breathing. The paramedics are pulling up now, but there are a couple people tending to her and they said she's breathing" Antonio explains.

"Tell the paramedics to take her to Seattle Grace Hospital, my mother works there. Tell them money is no issue, they are to take her there or I will have their jobs" I instruct.

"Yes sir, I will tell them right now" I hear him yelling to whom I assume are the paramedics in the background.

"Taylor, take me to Seattle Grace Hospital. Get my mother on the phone and see that is there when Ana arrives. I don't want anyone else working on Ana" I instruct.

"Yes Mr. Grey, I'm on the phone with her now" Taylor says; until now I didn't notice he was even talking.

"Mr. Grey?" Antonio asks. "They are loading her into the ambulance and have said they will take her to Seattle Grace Hospital."

"Thank you Antonio…do you know what happened?" I ask.

"I'm not sure. She had walked out the door only seconds before me. I turned to lock the door and heard a horn blaring. I turned to see a car hit her hard and her body fly into the next lane. Luckily the car in the second lane slammed on its brakes stopping just in time. The person in that car was an off duty fire fighter so he was able immediately check her out" he answers.

"What is happening to the person who hit her? Was he drunk? Are the police arresting him?" I question.

"Mr. Grey" Antonio pauses. "The person took off. They never stopped, even after they hit her."

"I see" I sigh heavily. "Thank you for your help Antonio. I will keep in touch"

"Please let me know when I can visit Ana, Mr. Grey" Antonio says as we hang up.

"Sir?" Taylor asks.

"What?" I snap.

"Your mother is on duty tonight and is waiting in the emergency room for Ana. She is aware that she is being brought in my ambulance and she was getting in touch with them to get her vitals" Taylor explains.

"Thank you Taylor. Can we get there any faster?" I ask.

"Yes sir" Taylor says as I feel the car speed up.

My mind races with what could have happened and what condition Ana will be in when we finally arrive at the hospital. This poor girl has suffered so much in her life, can't she just get a break? Who would just hit someone and not stop? It was late, could the person have been drunk? I vow to find out who did this to Ana and see that they are prosecuted to the fullest extent possible. My father is a prominent lawyer with good connections, so I am confident he can assist in seeing that whoever did this to Ana pays the ultimate price.

"Sir, we have arrived" Taylor says pulling up to the emergency room doors.

I jump out of the car and race through the entrance searching for my mother or Ana, neither of which I can find. Taylor pulled away quickly to go park the car but I'm sure he will be moments behind me. Both Taylor and Gail have become very fond of Ana over the last few months as she has become a regular part of my life.

"Can I help you sir?" the receptionist asks.

"Yes I'm looking for Doctor Grace Trevelyn Grey or a patient by the name of Anastasia Steele who was just brought in" I say.

"One moment" she says typing into her computer.

"Christian darling" my mom walks towards me from down the hall hugging me tightly.

"Mom, tell me she is okay…where is Ana?" I ask worried seeing blood on my mother's scrubs.

"She's badly injured son" Mom walks me into a small waiting room. "We are just beginning to assess her injuries but at the very least her leg and arm are broken, she likely has a concussion but there may be internal injuries as well. They are running several tests right now to determine if there is any internal bleeding and doing a full set of x rays to see how many bones are broken."

"She is going to be okay though? Mom, promise me she is going to be okay?" I hug my mom tightly.

"I'm going to do everything possible to see that she will be okay Christian" my mom says. "I have the top orthopedic surgeon set to review her x rays and perform surgery if needed. A neurosurgeon will be reviewing her CAT scan to see if any intervention is needed. Once we have the test results we will set a plan up."

"When can I see her?" I ask.

"It's probably going to be a little while dear" she says hugging me tighter. "As soon as the tests are done and she is moved into a room I will see that you are brought in."

"Thank you Mom for being her for Ana" I say.

"Let me go check on her and then I will come back. Don't hound the nurses here for information, I will give it to you as soon as I know anything. Call my cell phone if need be but for heaven's sake Christian don't badger my nurses" she gives me a knowing look.

"I promise" I vow.

I realize I need to call Kate to tell her what happened but no one is answer the phone at Kate's apartment. Realizing its Valentine's Day, I assume she is with Elliot. I call his house phone and cell phone several times however no one answers either line. Knowing my brother he has turned the phones off and locked himself and Kate in a bedroom somewhere. I quickly leave a voice mail and send him a text telling him to call me immediately – that it's an emergency.

"Excuse me" I say to the receptionist back in the main area of the emergency room.

"Yes sir?" she bats an eye trying to flirt with me.

"I need to speak with a hospital administrator or someone in charge tonight" I request.

"Sir, it's highly unusual to speak with someone in that position without an appointment-" she begins.

"I understand that, but I am a highly unusual person" I interrupt. "My name is Christian Grey and I'm sure if walk over to that lovely large wall of donors you will see my name somewhere very close to the top. I donate a very large sum of money annually to this hospital, therefore I'm pretty sure one of the administrators on duty tonight will speak with me."

"Yes….hold on and I will find someone" she stutters picking up the phone.

"Someone will be down shortly" she says hanging the phone up.

"I figured as much" I said, pacing the waiting room.

Every year I've donated large amounts of money to the hospital, mostly towards their pediatric services since this is Mom's specialty but on occasion to general building funds or fundraising efforts they have had. This will be the first time I have ever called in a favor in return for the money I provide. I don't care the cost, Ana will receive the absolute best care that money has to offer.

"Mr. Grey?" A tall older gentleman approaches me. "I'm Mr. Blackman, administrator on duty this evening."

"It's nice to meet you, do you have a few minutes to spare?" I ask.

"Yes, we can use one of the private waiting rooms if you don't mind?" He says escorting me back to the room where my mother sat with me moments ago.

"Thank you for meeting with me" I begin.

"No problem Mr. Grey, how I can help you tonight?" he asks.

"My girlfriend, Anastasia Steele, was involved in a car accident about an hour ago and is currently undergoing testing-" I begin.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Grey" he interrupts.

"Thank you" I sigh. "I don't know what type of insurance she has but I imagine it is not sufficient to handle the type of bills she will likely encounter from this accident. I want any and all bills not covered by her insurance to be forwarded directly to me. I don't want anyone from the billing or financial department discussing anything with her. I want her attention to be focused on her recovery not how she is going to pay for all of this."

"Understood Mr. Grey" he says writing the information down.

"Additionally, once she is clear to be moved, I want her admitted to a private room. I will pay top dollar for that room, but I do not want her to be sharing a room with another patient" I instruct.

"That will not be a problem" he replies.

"Although I don't expect it, I do not want any statements issued to the media regarding myself or Anastasia. It might be a good time to review HIPPA protocols with your staff; if I find out that someone leaked information about Ana's medical condition or her status here without my permission I will immediately pull all funding from this hospital" I say sternly.

"That will not be an issue Mr. Grey; I assure you patient confidentiality is our top priority" he assures me.

"Let's hope so," I say leaving the room to find my mother.

"Sir?" Taylor says approaching me.

"No word yet. My mother says a broken leg and arm are obvious but they are doing more testing" I inform me.

"Can we talk somewhere?" he asks.

"Follow me" I sigh returning yet again to the private waiting room.

"There are no police cameras in the area of the restaurant, there are a few businesses that have cameras that we might be able to access. However we either need to wait until morning to get their approval or…." Taylor infers.

"I don't want to wait until morning. Tell Barney and Welsh to do whatever is needed" I instruct. "I want to find the bastard who did this to Ana."

"Yes sir, understood" Taylor picks up the phone to convey by instructions.

After what feels like hours, my mom finally comes back to the waiting room to update me on Ana's status.

"Son, we need to take her in for emergency surgery right now" she begins. "She has some internal bleeding that we need to explore to determine what is causing it."

"But she's still okay?" I ask.

"She's stable for the moment but they don't want her to lose too much blood. Does she have any family?" my mom asks.

"No, she hasn't spoken to her mother in years. Under no circumstances would Ana want her here" I say firmly.

"I figured as much" my mother sighs. "Okay, then I'm going to have to rely on you for information."

"I will tell you anything you need to know" I promise.

"Is she taking any medications?" Mom asks.

"Just the birth control pill, she started it around New Year's" I answer.

"Any allergies?" Mom asks, writing my answers down.

"Nothing according to her medical record" I answer.

"I'm not even going to ask how you gained access to her medical record Christian" she sighs. "Any chance she is pregnant?"

"No" I say firmly.

"Is there anything else you think her doctor's should know?" she asks.

"Well…" I pause.

"Christian, anything could be important. I assure you if it's not relevant I won't disclose it" she assures me.

"I don't know if it's important to what is going on" I take a deep breath. "Ana was abused for many years as a teenager and has significant scaring from it."

"I see" Mom says with sadness in her eyes no doubt remembering when she found me.

"Please, just make sure she is okay Mom. I can't lose her" I hug my mom tightly.

"I will Christian" Mom leaves the room.

Hours go by before my mother finally returns to the waiting room telling me that Ana is out of surgery and in post op now. If all goes well in recovery she should be moved to her private room in the next couple of hours. My mom tries to get me to go home for the night saying that there is nothing I can do for Ana here but I refuse to go home. I have to be here when she wakes up; I cannot have her wake up in a hospital by herself. Taylor spends most of the night on the phone no doubt trying to determine what happened and who was driving the car that hit Ana. I've spoken to the police at length however they have very little to go on. They are gathering witness statements and then agreed to give me a description of the car as well.

"Sir?" Taylor walks into the room that has become my hub here.

"Anything Taylor?" I ask.

"Nothing yet sir" he answers. "Welsh and Barney are going through all the videos they can access; the ones they can't we will be contacting as soon as the business open. There is a bank across the street that we are hoping will have some footage that could assist us however they are not open today given that it's Sunday. We will be trying to reach the branch manager or the division head to see if we can access their footage within the next two hours."

"Very well" I sigh.

"I brought you a change of clothes, your laptop and a charger for your phone sir" he says handing me an overnight bag.

"Thank you Taylor" I set the bag on the chair next to me, grateful that Taylor thought ahead as my phone will likely be dead soon.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Taylor asks.

"I can't reach my brother; I've left several messages on his cell and house lines. No doubt he is shacked up with Kate somewhere but I know she would want to know what's going on. Can you find him please?" I ask.

"Yes sir," he leaves the room.

"Christian?" Mom wakes me up a short time later from an uncomfortable sleep in a hard chair.

"Sorry Mom….is Ana okay?" I sit up quickly.

"Yes, they have moved her to a private room" she says.

"Can I see her now?" I ask.

"Yes, I will take you there" Mom answers.

Mom leads me to the elevator and I follow her down several hallways before we finally arrive at a room at the end of a long hallway. She gently opens the door, ushering me inside and I gasp at what I see. Ana looks so little in this bed; she is so pale. There are machines beeping next to her and all sorts of wires coming out of her body. Her leg is hanging on a contraption attached to the bed and her arm is in a sling near her chest. Her face is bruised and scraped up, no doubt from where she hit the road.

"Son, she's okay" Mom reassures.

"Are you sure?" I whisper.

"Let me explain" she says, bringing me closer to the bed. "This machine here is monitoring her heart and oxygen rate. The IV is providing her with fluids as well as pain medication to keep her comfortable. The bag here measures her urine output so we can make sure her kidneys are functioning as they should be. Her leg was broken in two places; they want to wait until the swelling goes down before they determine if surgery is necessary. Her arm was broken as well but they believe it should heal on its own. There's scrapes and bruises on her face, arms and legs but they should all heal rather quickly."

"The internal bleeding from earlier?" I ask.

"Her spleen ruptured from the accident so it was removed which stopped all the bleeding" she answers.

"When will she wake up?" I ask tearfully.

"It's hard to tell" Mom says. "It could be a few hours or it could be a couple of days. Her body has gone through a lot, not only from the accident but then emergency surgery. Sometimes it takes patients longer to wake up because of all the trauma. However the neurosurgeon was pleased with her brain scans and saw no reason to indicate that she won't wake up."

"Thank you Mom," I say hugging her again. "I know your shift was probably over hours ago, I appreciate you staying here."

"Anything for you Christian" she says. "Now that Ana is moved and you are with her, I'm going to go home and get some sleep. If anything changes, you call me right away. I have the best nurse on tonight assigned to Ana's case so if you need anything just hit this button here. They also know that you will likely not be leaving Ana's side."

"I'm not going anywhere. Thank you Mom for everything" I say as she leaves the room.

I bring a chair over next to Ana's bed, sitting down I hold her hand gently. I'm not sure where I can touch her but at least this hand doesn't look injured. I must have fallen asleep with my head on her bed because the next thing I know the nurse is coming in checking the machines and leaving the room quietly turning the light off behind her. I check my phone; Taylor texts me saying he's still trying to reach Elliot. Apparently Elliot and Kate have both turned off their phones so the GPS tracker cannot pick up their location. I'm kicking myself now for not asking Elliot what his plans were for this weekend with Kate. There's no other information available from the police or the nearby cameras but Taylor reassures me that they are beginning to contact every business as most of them are finally opening for the day. Getting a hold of someone at the bank is our only concern but I'm confident that Taylor will find a way to reach them even if it means driving to the branch manager's home.

I doze on and off over the next couple of hours, exhaustion finally setting in from being up all night in the emergency room with Ana. It's not easy to sleep with the nursing staff continuously checking on Ana but I know that it's their job and whatever they are doing is likely helping her somehow.

"Good Morning Sir" Taylor says walking into the room just as I wake up.

"Morning Taylor, any update?" I ask.

"Not yet sir" his eyes full of disappointment. "Gail brought some breakfast over for you; she figured you wouldn't be interested in hospital food."

"No, can't say that I am" I smile slightly. "I'm going to grab a quick shower, would you mind sitting with Ana? I don't want her to wake up alone –"

"It's fine sir, I will sit with her for as long as you need" he interrupts.

I quickly take a shower and change into the clothes Taylor provided; I swear this man his worth his weight in gold for the number of things he does for me. He brought Ana back to me when I thought I had lost her; last night I know he was up the entire night right along with me focusing on finding out who did this to Ana. This morning he brings items I desperately needed but was to focused on Ana to even think about asking for. If my phone went dead, how would I stay up to date on everything going on or continue to try to reach Kate and Elliot?

"Sir? The chief of police is outside and would like to speak with you" Taylor says as I walk out of the bathroom a few short minutes later.

"I need to find someone to stay with Ana while I talk to him….maybe my mother is free –" I say, desperately not wanting to leave Ana alone.

"Sir, your sister Mia is outside and has been asking to see Ana. Perhaps she can sit with her so we can meet with the chief?" Taylor suggests.

"Yes, that will work. Thank you Taylor" I say.

A few minutes later Taylor escorts Mia into Ana's room and the shock in seeing Ana like this is evident on her face as she pales walking through the door. I lecture Mia for several minutes about not messing with the wires and tubes coming from Ana, not to speak loudly and to stay calm around Ana while we are gone. I show her the call button and instruct her not to hesitate to press the button if anything seems off about Ana or if the machines start beeping loudly. Mia reassures me that everything will be fine as I hesitantly leave the room with Taylor.

"Good Morning Mr. Grey, Mr. Taylor. I am police chief Ryan Smith" An older man says shaking our hands.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet here Mr. Smith" I say. "I'm sure you can understand that coming to the station was not feasible right now."

"Of course Mr. Grey" Mr. Smith replies.

"Where do we stand with the investigation of the accident?" I ask.

"We are still in the process of obtaining several images from nearby businesses; so far the ones we have been able to view are from angles that do not provide the best views. However, we have numerous eye witness accounts of the incident. Although it was very late, there were several couples and some employees still standing outside the restaurant talking when Ms. Steele exited the building. Right now they are our best source of information" he explains.

"And? What information have they been able to provide?" I ask impatiently.

"Several witnesses report that Ms. Steele was on the phone however the road was clear when she went to cross. She was crossing in a crosswalk with a sign indicating that it was safe to walk. One witness reports seeing the car pull out of a parking spot from the corner of the block just before the restaurant however several of the witnesses each report seeing the car speeding up as it approached the intersection where Ms. Steele was walking. The witness accounts all day the car did not stop or slow down after hitting Ms. Steele" he answers.

"Wait….I….are you saying?" I stutter.

"It appears that she was deliberately hit sir," Mr. Smith confirms. "At least this is our indication from the witnesses."

"Is there a description of the vehicle? Has an APB been issued? Any description of the driver?" Taylor asks.

"A dark two door sedan is the best description we have to work on at this point. The exact color is uncertain at this point, considering how dark it was several witnesses report the car being different colors. An APB has been issued for a dark blue, black or green sedan with front end and hood damage and all garages have been notified. One witness reported the driver was likely a white male but he was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses so they could not see his face or any key marks" Mr. Smith answers.

"If you would send us over any footage you have we have several employees who can work wonders with imaging. I would like them to see if they could clean up anything so you could have a better look at car or the driver. Here is my email address" Taylor hands him a business card.

"Of course, you will have it shortly. Any assistance your IT department could provide would be appreciated" Mr. Smith says shaking our hands again. "I will be in touch."

"Taylor" I sigh sitting down. "Who would deliberately run her over? They could have killed her! Was that their intention? Are they targeting me or her?"

"I don't know sir" Taylor says sitting beside me. "Welsh has gone through all recent threats we have received at GEH and none of been alarming. There were no death threats and to our knowledge the media does not know about you and Ms. Steele."

"Have Welsh find out where Stephen, her mother's ex husband is" I instruct. "Our last intel had incarcerated; he was not slated to be released for another three years therefore we have not kept tabs on him. He should not have been released as he was not eligible for parole, however have Welsh verify he remains incarcerated."

"Yes sir" Taylor types away on his phone. "I will also have Welsh check to see if he has had any unusual visitors."

"Grey" I answer my phone.

"Hey Bro! What's up? You blew up my phone –" Elliot begins.

"Elliot! Where the fuck have you been? I need to speak with Kate now!" I interrupt.

"What Kate? Why?" Elliot asks.

"Just put her on damn it!" I scream.

"Christian? What's going on?" Kate says urgently.

"Kate, listen to me but don't freak out" I instruct. "Ana was hit by a car last night and is currently in the hospital. We are at Seattle Grace Hospital….she is okay but has numerous injuries –"

"Christian? What the hell? Why is Kate sitting on the floor crying?" Elliot interrupts.

"Elliot, Ana was hit by a car last night outside the restaurant. She is at Seattle Grace Hospital; she is okay but has several injuries. She had emergency surgery last night; we are still waiting for her to wake up" I explain.

"Oh my God…but she's okay?" Elliot whispers.

"Yes, all tests indicate that she should wake up soon" I answer.

"Thank God," Elliot says. "Kate and I will be there as soon as possible."

We disconnect and I quickly return to Ana's room; it's only been a short time but I can't stand the thought of not being by her side. I need to be there to know that she is okay; to be there when she finally does wake up. Mia greets me when I walk in letting me know there have been no changes with Ana since I left; a nurse briefly came in and checked her IV bag but other than that no one has visited.

"Do you need anything Christian?" Mia asks before leaving the room.

"Can you send Taylor in?" I hug Mia tightly.

"Of course" she says. "Call me if she wakes later today, if not I will stop by this evening or tomorrow morning."

I resume my spot next to Ana's bedside, kissing her gently on the cheek before sitting down. I fire off an email to Roz letting her know what is going on and putting her in charge for at least the next week. I email Andrea telling her to reschedule anything I have next week with Roz and not to add anything to my schedule for the following week. I need to prepare to be here for the foreseeable future; even if Ana were to wake today it's clear that she is going to be in the hospital for at least some time.

"Sir?" Taylor walks in.

"I want security hired for Ana….someone outside her door at all times. Not hospital security either-" I instruct.

"Sir, I have already contacted someone; they will be reporting here within the hour. I am vetting a few more individuals for the overnight shift and for someone to serve as back up" Taylor interrupts.

"Very good. Thank Taylor" I say.

"Sir, don't forget Gail's breakfast. She will be disappointed if I return home with it" Taylor hints.

"Yes, I forgot about that. Thank you" I say as he walks out of the room.

Although I have no appetite, I force myself to eat the egg and bagel sandwich that Gail made for me. Thankfully she included a heated bag or else it would have been ice cold by now. I'm thankful for the thermos of coffee she also sent; hospital coffee is the worst. I know I need to stay strong for Ana which is the only reason I even eat.

"Oh my God!" Kate exclaims waking me.

"Kate, Elliot" I acknowledge.

"She's okay Christian? Please tell me she is going to be okay…she is my best friend…I can't imagine-" Kate cries.

"She is going to be fine Kate," I reassure. "She had emergency surgery last night, we are just waiting for her to wake up. The neurologist reviewed the brain scans and saw no indication of anything that would prevent her from waking up."

"If surgery was last night, why isn't she awake yet?" Elliot asks.

"The surgery was actually very early this morning technically I think. The doctors say with the amount of trauma her body suffered during the accident it's expected that she would take a little longer for her to wake up" I explain.

"What was the surgery for?" Kate asks sitting on the other side of Ana.

"Her spleen ruptured during the accident so it had to be removed" I answer.

Kate, Elliot and I sit with Ana for a couple of hours and I find myself thankful for their company during this time. Elliot picks us up dinner from a nearby sandwich shop so Kate and I don't have to leave Ana's side. Kate tells me that her and Elliot went out for a romantic dinner last night before going back to Elliot's apartment. Apparently they both agreed that they would turn off their phones for the evening so there were no distractions since during their last date both of their phones were ringing off the hook. They both agreed to turn on their phones for a few minutes today to make sure there was nothing important they needed to know about and then they were going to turn them off before spending the day together. Elliot apparently saw the numerous calls and texts from me before Kate's phone registered them which is why he called me first. Kate and Elliot leave for the night just before eight, promising to return the next morning. Both agree to leave their phones on incase anything changes with Ana during the night.

"Christian darling, you should go home and get some rest" my mom says waking me just before midnight.

"No, I don't want to leave her. She can't wake up alone" I insist.

"This couch pulls out into a bed, why don't you at least lay down?" she suggests.

"No, I'm good here. I can be closer to her here" I sigh.

"The nurses report she is doing well; all her vitals are stable and her urine output is good which indicates that there is no kidney damage" Mom reads her chart.

"Why isn't she awake yet? Shouldn't she be awake by now?" I ask.

"I'm not sure sweetie….but there's a note here that if she doesn't wake in the next 36 hours they are going to run another CAT scan just to be sure. Her body has been through a lot, plus they had her on some pretty heavy pain medication most of the day today. It looks like they are slowly lowering the dose so that might help" she explains.

"I just want her to wake up Mom" I cry. "I need to know that she is okay."


	28. Chapter 28

_Author's Note: To the guest who called my Ana "annoying brat" who is just "begging to be attacked," I encourage you to note the name of this story once again. Ana is may seem slightly stubborn, but she is still getting used to the idea of having someone by her side, someone who would want to drive her home, someone who even cared that she got home safely. I would also like to remind you that there are several other times throughout the story where Ana has walked home after working a dinner shift at the restaurant. It wasn't like this was something unusual for her. Also, the apartment is a matter of 3 blocks away; Christian lives several miles away – in her mind it was more practical for her to walk home then have him drive out there, drive her home and then drive back to his apartment. I would also like to say that I don't think any woman walking home at night is "begging to be attacked." That said, I thank you for your feedback and hope you still enjoy the story._

_All characters belong to E. L. James_

**Chpt. 28: CPOV:**

I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night and it takes me several minutes to realize where I am. I check Ana's vitals on the machine and they all look the same except her heart rate is slightly higher than it was when my mom checked on her a few hours ago. Suddenly I hear Ana moaning; I immediately stand up and turn a small light above her bed on hoping that this is a sign she is waking up. However as I see her face, I can immediately recognize that she is in the middle of a nightmare. Her face is contorted as if she is in pain as she whips her head back and forth mumbling something I can't understand.

"Ana? ANA? Can you hear me? Wake up baby!" I beg, fearing that she is going to hurt herself.

She doesn't reply; I try kissing her and gently shaking her arm but still not reply. She is beginning to move more rapidly, with more force and I am increasingly afraid that she is going to further injure her already frail body. Seeing that I can't seem to wake her, I hit the nurse button not knowing what else to do.

"Mr. Grey?" a nurse immediately walks in.

"She's having a nightmare…I'm afraid…." I stutter.

"I will be right back with her prn" the nurse says quickly reviewing her chart before leaving the room.

"What is it?" I ask the nurse who is now injecting something in Ana's arm.

"It's a mild sedative to help her sleep. Sometimes patients can further injure themselves while sleeping so most patients in her situation are prescribed a mild sedative for situations like this" she explains.

"Will it delay her waking up at all?" I ask quietly.

"No, it will wear off in a matter of hours. Hopefully just long enough for her to get some much needed rest" the nurse exits the room.

Unable to go back to sleep, I sit next to Ana watching her now sleeping peacefully. I check my emails on my laptop but there are no further updates on the car that hit Ana tonight. The hours pass by slowly with no change in Ana's condition; the sunrises over Seattle and a new day has begun. Nurses come in and out checking on Ana's vitals however no one seems to be able to answer my question as to when will she wake up.

"Sir?" Taylor enters the room.

"Yes Taylor?" I acknowledge without turning around.

"I would like you to meet Luke Sawyer, Ana's new security" Taylor introduces.

"Nice to meet your sir" Sawyer shakes my hand.

Luke Sawyer is likely who I would have chosen based on his physical presence alone to guard Ana. He is clearly former military based on his hair cut and overall demeanor. He stands well over six feet tall and can easily hold his own in any type of a physical combat situation.

"Did Taylor brief you on the situation?" I ask.

"Yes sir" Sawyer answers.

"You understand that you or another member of my security is to be outside Ana's door at all times?" I test.

"Yes sir" he answers. "Taylor has provided me a list of all authorized visitors along with a picture of them so that I can verify their identity before I allow them into the room. He has also provided me a list of individuals who under no circumstances are to be permitted to enter the room."

"Good" I sigh. "Additionally, at no time is a hospital security staff member to serve as a substitute for you. I don't care if you need to pee, only someone assigned to my security detail can take your place. I don't trust the hospital security staff here yet to know that no one is trying to harm Ana."

"Understood sir" Sawyer says.

"Sir, I have three members of your security team at the hospital at all times checking various points throughout the day. Everyone has contact information and can reach one another via their secure ear pieces when assistance is needed" Taylor explains.

"Thank you Taylor for piecing this together so quickly" I say as Sawyer exits the room to take his first shift outside the door.

"I wish there was something more I could do" Taylor looks sadly at Ana. "Is there anything I can get for you?"

"No" I sigh.

"Gail has sent some food for you sir" he hands me a heavy basket.

"Tell her I appreciate it" I say as he exits the room.

The clock on the wall barely moves as the day slowly drags on with no change in Ana's condition. As tired as I am, I cannot close my eyes for more than a few minutes. The moment I close my eyes, I instantly replay my last phone call with Ana, the loud thud, the screaming and the chaos from that night. I force myself to remember how happy she was before she left for work yesterday; we spent a wonderful morning together in which we were both very happy. She seems to really like the new library I had built; I of course did not tell her that I had it built specifically for her. If it were up to me the room likely would have just sat empty or have been turned into another spare bedroom. When I asked Elliot to design the library, I did it with Ana in mind. I wanted her to have a place to feel safe and comfortable when she spent time with me. I hoped that she would one day agree to move in with me, I could see her easily spending hours in this room every day getting lost in the books. We were both looking forward to our weekend away; I couldn't wait to show her my house in Aspen. No one except my immediately family has ever been in that house; I wanted to share it with her.

"Christian?" Kate wakes me from my day dream entering the room.

"Hey Kate" I sit up, stretching my sore back.

"Any change?" she asks.

"No" I sigh. "They gave her a mild sedative last night-"

"What? Why? Did something happen?" she asks.

"She was having a nightmare and they were afraid she was going to injure herself further" I explain.

"Her nightmares can get pretty bad" Kate acknowledges quietly.

"You've seen them?" I ask surprised. Ana didn't seem to think that Kate ever heard them.

"She doesn't know that I have" Kate confirms what I was thinking. "But, she's had a couple when she would stay with me. I never knew what they were about; I never asked her about it but they sounded horrific."

"Thankfully it didn't get that bad last night, I think the nurse gave her the sedative just in time" I say.

"Any progress on finding the douche bag who did this to her?" Kate asks.

"Not yet, but we will find whoever it was" I vow.

Kate and I spend most of the afternoon together, the time allowing me to learn more about Elliot's new girlfriend and more importantly Ana's best friend. Kate told me how her and Ana met in freshman orientation; she said Ana was sitting by herself in the back of the room when Kate decided she looked like she needed to have some fun. Kate said she immediately sat down next to Ana and began telling her jokes about the rules that the administrators were discussing with them. Kate said that very quickly Ana went from looking shy and uncomfortable to nearly drawing attention to herself by laughing out loud. After freshman orientation they discovered that they had a few general education classes together which brought them closer together. Kate said by the end of the first month of school she knew that Ana would be her best friend. They started sleepovers at Kate's apartment at least once or twice a month in which they had a true slumber party on the living room falling asleep to what Kate describes as "chick flicks."

"Did you ever have slumber parties at Ana's?" I asked.

"No" she sighs. "Ana never really said much about where she lived but I got the impression very early on that it was in a rather bad section of town and was not something she was proud of. Every time I offered to pick her up or drive her home she would make excuses so I didn't have to see where she lived."

"She did the same thing with me" I agree.

"I tried for so long to get her to move in with me but it wasn't until she received a scholarship earlier this year did she finally agree. I knew she didn't want to move in with me because of the money but no matter what I did I couldn't convince her that the money did matter. My parents pay my rent every month; even now that she finally moved in with me I refuse to accept money from her. Instead she insists on keeping my kitchen stocked – which I can't complain. Before she moved in, I was eating take out or sandwiches every day" she laughs.

"Mmmmmmm" Ana moans.

Kate and I both hold are breath and look at Ana trying to determine if she is waking up or if this is the beginning of another nightmare. A few minutes go by without a sound from Ana; I'm immediately disappointed that she didn't wake up but find myself hopeful that perhaps it's a move in the right direction. Time passes by slowly without another sound from Ana; Kate continues to tell me stories of Ana in college.

"Christian, I don't mind sitting here for a while if you want to shower or get something to eat" Kate suggests.

"Are you sure? I have a couple calls that I could make" I answer.

"Take your time; I'm meeting Elliot for dinner in an hour but he won't mind if I'm a little late" she encourages.

"I will be back before then" I promise as I leave the room.

"Mr. Grey" Sawyer immediately stands to great me from his seat next to Ana's door.

"Sawyer" I acknowledge. "Any concerns?"

"No sir" he answers.

"I am going be in the waiting room just around the corner. Please call me immediately if there are any changes with Ana or anything I need to know about" I direct.

"Yes sir" he says.

I walk into the empty waiting room, responding to a few emails before calling Ros to check on the status of several projects we have been working on. Ros is thankfully very understanding and immediately took the lead on the projects I was handling last week. Andrea has rescheduled most of my meetings for later this week with Ros but some were moved to next week due to scheduling limitations. Ros advised me that there were several items that I needed to sign however we agree that they can wait a few more days. By mid week Ros will have her assistant bring everything requiring my signature to hospital so I am only interrupted once. I request that she notify me the approximate day and time so I can arrange to have someone sit with Ana during that time.

"Welsh, any update?" I answer my phone.

"We have confirmed that Stephen Crawford remains incarcerated and has had no visitors other than his mother in the past year. We do not believe that he is behind this attack" Welsh says.

"Any progress on the bank cameras?" I ask.

"Minimal" he sighs. "We have obtained the footage however there is no clear view of the driver. From what we can tell the vehicle was an older model, dark blue or black sedan. Barney is trying to fix the picture some but he is doubtful that we will be able to get a license plate from the image."

"What about the driver?" I ask.

"From what we can see, the vehicle was driven by a Caucasian male wearing a dark colored baseball cap with a dark long sleeve shirt or jacket. He was looking straight ahead at the time of impact, both hands were on the steering wheel" Welsh says confirming our suspicion that this was purposeful.

"Any threats received?" I ask.

"Nothing sir and the media does not appear to have gotten wind of the situation" He says.

"Very well, let Barney know he should acquire any resources needed to enhance the image" I direct before hanging up.

"Any changes Kate?" I ask walking back into the room.

"She moaned once but nothing else. Her heart rate didn't change and she didn't move" Kate answers sadly.

"If you don't mind sitting for a few more minutes, I'm going to take a fast shower" I ask.

"No problem Christian" she says.

I take what is probably the fastest shower of my entire life before returning to Ana's side. I try not to get my hopes up but find myself watching her closely for any sign of her waking up. I thank Kate for her company today as she leaves to go meet Elliot for dinner. I put on some classical music on the MP3 player that Ana gave me for Christmas to drown out some of the silence in the room. I don't particularly like watching television so I don't turn it on.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm" Ana moans again.

"Ana? Ana? Can you hear me?" I ask as her head moves slightly.

"hmmmmmmmmmmmm" she moans in response.

I quickly hit the nurse button as her hand begins to try to reach for something. She continues to moan and move around slightly; it's different than the nightmare she was having last night. Her face doesn't look like she is in pain, she just looks like she is trying to wake up from a deep sleep.

"I think she is waking up" I say as the nurse walks through the door.

"I'm going to page the doctor" she says.

"Christian?" Mom says rushing into the room.

"She's moaning and moving around….not like last night when she had a nightmare" I explain quickly.

"Ana! Ana can you hear me?" Mom says loudly. "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."

I hold my breath, watching Ana's hand in my mother's. Ever so slowly I watch Ana's fingers move and apply the slightest pressure to my mother's hand. I slowly let the breath I was holding; she is finally waking up! My Ana is finally coming back to me!

"Ana? Can you open your eyes for me?" Mom asks firmly.

Slowly Ana's eyes open, confusion is evident as she looks around. She slowly looks at my mother, at the machines next to her, the IV in her arm, her leg in a contraption above her bed before finally landing on me.

"Oh Ana" I sigh giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Her eyes don't meet mine but instead are looking at my mother full of concern and confusion. She tries to speak but her mouth must be too try because nothing comes out. My mother sends the nurse to get ice chips and advises Ana not to speak just yet.

"Ana, do you know where you are?" Mom asks.

Ana shakes her head no.

"You are at Seattle Grace Hospital, you were in an accident. Do you remember?" Mom asks.

Ana shakes her head no again.

"Take some ice chips, don't chew them – just suck on them" Mom instructs lifting a cup to her lips.

I sit on the edge of my seat watching Ana but she doesn't look at me again. She is focused on my mom who is writing in her chart and checking her IV as Ana sucks on the ice chips the nurse brought back. Mom explains that Ana's doctor is in surgery at the moment but will be by to visit Ana as soon as he is available.

"Ana, do you remember me?" Mom asks and I immediately look at her confused.

"No" Ana whispers. "Should I?"

"That's okay sweetie. Your body has been through a lot." Mom says writing something else in her chart. "Do you recognize the man sitting next to you?"

Ana finally looks at me but I can tell from her eyes that she doesn't know who I am. My heart sinks and I feel sick to my stomach at the thought that she doesn't know who I am. How will I cope with her not knowing me? How could she forget everything we have been through? How could she forget me?

"I don't think so" she whispers.

"Ana, my name is Grace and I am a doctor here at the hospital. I was here when you were brought in after your accident. This is my son Christian, the two of you are dating" she explains.

Ana looks from me to my mother and back again in utter confusion.

"What? How….we….?" she stutters.

"It's okay, memory loss can happen have an accident. I'm going to go page your neurologist and have him come check on you" Mom says leaving the room.

I'm speechless….I don't even know what to think. If she forgot everything how can I make her fall in love with me again? How can I get her to trust me again? I put my head in my hands trying to think of something to say to Ana, something to trigger her memory.

"Good evening Ana, I am Dr. Walker the neurologist assigned to your case" A doctor walks in with my mother and shakes Ana's hand.

"Christian Grey, nice to meet you Dr. Walker" I shake his hand.

"Ana, before we proceed, I need to ask you if I have your permission to talk about your protected health information in front of Mr. Grey" Dr. Walker asks.

Ana looks at me and thankfully shakes her head yes. I was seeing red when Dr. Walker asked her that question; let him even try to kick me out of this room. HIPPA laws or not there would have been hell to pay if he even tried.

"Ana, what's the last thing you remember?" Dr. Walker asks shining lights into her eyes.

"I don't know, it's all fuzzy" she sighs. "Maybe a college class?"

"Do you know what day it is?" he asks.

She shakes her head no.

"What year?" he asks.

Again, Ana shakes her head no.

"Do you know your address currently?" he asks.

Ana's eyes immediate fill with panic, darting between myself and the doctor. She shakes her head no quickly but I think she is recalling when she was living in a shelter or a boarding home and is embarrassed to say so. She doesn't know what I know and probably doesn't know what to say.

"Are you in any pain right now?" he asks.

"A little…my ribs mostly…." She answers.

"Yes…I see from this report that you broke three of your ribs during the accident. Normally ribs heal pretty quickly however it appears you had previously broken your ribs and they did not heal properly. This complication will likely delay the healing process some" He explains.

"Can you give her something for the pain?" I ask seeing Ana begin to shut down at the reference to her past abuse. Of course there is no way she could forget something like that.

"Yes, I will have a standing order for pain medication as needed" he writes in her chart.

"When will I remember…..everything?" she asks.

"Your CAT scan showed some minor swelling in the area that controls short term memories however we expect over the next couple of days for the swelling to decrease. Your memory will likely return during that time however it's not going to come all at once. It will likely come back slowly, almost as flashbacks and probably in pieces. It would probably be helpful for someone to be with you whenever possible to try to explain some of the memories or at least help you piece them together" Dr. Walker explains.

"I will be here" I interject.

"Do either of you have any questions?" Dr. Walker asks.

We both shake our heads as Mom and Dr. Walker leave the room. I can tell Ana is slightly uncomfortable with being alone with me suddenly; afterall to her I am a virtual stranger. I decide to hold off on contacting Kate or Elliot to let them know that Ana has woken up, I think with everything going on she might need a little more quiet time.

"Kate was here earlier visiting you" I say.

"Kate?" Ana says confused. "Oh….yes….we have a couple classes together."

"Actually, you did have a couple classes together but you don't currently as you have different majors. Kate is your roommate" I inform her.

"I live with Kate?" Ana asks surprised.

"Yes, you moved in over Christmas break" I answer. "I helped you move your stuff in as Kate was away with her family in the Bahamas."

"You….you helped me move?" she asks.

"Yes" I answer, knowing she is asking if I knew where she lived before.

"How long have we….." she asks, not knowing what to call our relationship.

"A few months now" I say smiling at her.

"Do you mind telling me how we met?" she asks.

"You bumped into me" I laugh. "You almost fell on your ass but I caught you."

"That sounds like me" she giggles.

"The second time we met, you spilled coffee all over me" I say.

"On black shoes?" she says closing her eyes.

"Yes! Do you remember?" I ask excitedly.

"No, maybe…I don't know. I just had a flash of expensive looking black dress shoes with droplets of something on it" she describes.

"You bumped into me at a coffee shop early one morning" I continue. "We then met at a dance club when Kate dragged you out to meet her boyfriend which happens to be my brother."

"And we've….I mean….have we?" she blushes.

"Yes we have been intimate" I smile. "Many times."

"Oh" she says blushing deeply.

"Are you tired? Thirsty? Hungry?" I ask after a brief pause in our question and answer session.

"I'm a little hungry" she admits.

"I will be right back…let me see what you are allowed to have" I quickly stand.

I quickly find the Ana's nurse who confirms that the doctor has written an order that she can start on soft foods in small portions for as long as her stomach can tolerate it. I quickly text Taylor asking him to pick up some chicken broth, jello and apple sauce from a restaurant as I don't want Ana eating hospital food if at all possible. The food here isn't the worst, but it doesn't have very much flavor and often tastes as if it's been sitting out for days.

"The doctor has given the okay for you to have soft foods, so I've arranged for something to be brought to you shortly" I walk back into the room to find Ana gazing out the window.

"Thanks" she says sadly.

"Are you okay? Are you in pain?" I ask worried at her change in mood.

"I'm fine" she sighs. "I just wish I could remember. It's obvious you care about me and I just wish that I could remember…."

"Ana, I just don't care about you" I interrupt. "I love you."

She gasps as her eyes fill with tears. I immediately move closer to her and awkwardly hug her while she is laying in bed hardly able to move. It's not easy hugging her like this but she buries her head against my chest breathing in deeply.

"Your cologne" she sighs.

"Hmmmm?" I ask confused.

"The smell is familiar" she says.

"At least on some level your nose remembers me" I smile.

"I guess so" she says pulling away. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me Ana" I say sitting down next to her.

"Can I ask you something?" she says taking a deep breath.

"Anything" I answer quickly.

"If we've been….then you must have seen…." She stutters.

"Yes, I have seen your scars and you have seen mine" I say. "I have a few scars from when I was very young, cigarette burn scars. They are obviously nothing compared to your scars but we sort of bonded over our scars. I think you are beautiful, every inch of you inside and out. It's one of the reasons I find it so difficult to keep my hands off of you whenever you are around."

On cue, she blushes deeply.

"Oh….I…." she stutters just as someone knocks on the door.

"Taylor, please come in" I greet.

"Gail sent over some homemade chicken broth, soft fresh bread, applesauce and several bottles of water for Ms. Steele. She has also packed a dinner for you sir" he says handing me a bag.

"Ana, this is my head of security, Jason Taylor" I introduce.

"Ms. Steele, it's nice to see you awake" Taylor says shaking his hand.

"Thank you for bringing me dinner" she says shyly.

"Ana, I will be right outside the door" I say escorting Taylor out.

"Does she remember anything sir?" Taylor asks as the door closes and we step out of ear range.

"Not really….she thought she still had classes with Kate and didn't know they were living together" I answer sadly.

"What does the doctor say sir?" he asks.

"He said it should come back in flashes over the next few days as the swelling in her brain decreases" I answer.

"Would you like me to have Dr. Flynn come for a session here?" he asks.

"I think I'm going to wait a day or two but I will let you know" I answer before walking back into Ana's room.

"What do you say we have some dinner?" I ask.

"Sure" Ana answers.

"Gail, my housekeeper, makes the best home made chicken noodle soup so I'm sure you are going to love her broth" I say placing the containers on the stand next to Ana's bed.

"Your housekeeper?" she asks.

"Yes, she makes delicious food" I answer.

"You have a housekeeper and a security guard?" she asks surprised.

"Yes," I sigh. "You had no idea when we first met who I was, but I've been Seattle's most eligible bachelor for several years now…at least according to a few top magazines. I am the CEO of my own company which has made me a very wealthy man."

"I see" Ana says quietly.

"It was one of the things I liked about you almost immediately Ana" I smile. "You had no idea who I was or how much money I had. All too often people would approach me just because of who I was; it got to the point that I had no idea if people liked me for me or liked me for my money."

"I guess it works out that I don't read all those Seattle magazine" she giggles.

We ate our dinner in comfortable silence over the next few minutes. It's unreal to me that after sitting by her side for almost two straight days that I am now sitting next to her talking. I still don't know what to think about her short term memory loss; I can only hope the neurologist was right and that her memory will return in the next few days as the swelling goes down. As she finishes dinner, she comments that she is tired and I suggest she take a nap. She asks if I will still be here when she wakes up which of course I promise her immediately that I will be here but I can't help but feel a tad happy that she at least wants me to be here when she wakes up. She quickly doses off as I sit next to her holding her hand tightly. Within minutes I feel the exhaustion of the last few days hitting me, and I quickly fall asleep with my head on Ana's hand.


	29. Chapter 29

_Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews and PMs on the last chapter! I can't believe I have over 400 reviews! I never expected this story to be such a hit but I am thankful for those have decided to join me in this adventure. This chapter is mostly from Christian's POV however you will get a glimpse of how Ana feels and is handling everything. Happy Reading!_

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James_.

**Chpt. 29 APOV**

_"You little slut!" he screams at me as I walk through the front door._

_"Huh? What?" I stutter._

_"I saw you walk home with that boy…don't think I didn't see you at the corner" he screams._

_"He was just walking me home" I said quietly. We weren't holding hands or anything, he was just a boy from school who happens to live a few blocks away._

_"He wanted you…I could tell" he screams._

_"I didn't do anything" I cry._

_"This time…but next time I bet you let him fuck you" He screams throwing me against the wall causing the pictures to fall again._

_"No! It's not like that" I sob as he kicks me repeatedly in the chest._

_He pulls me up by the hair and stands me in front of him, looking me up and down. The way he is looking at me is creeping me out._

_"You're really growing up…I can see why he would want to fuck you" he licks his lips._

_"Please let me go…nothing happened" I cry._

_"Nothing happened this time…what about next time?" he raises his voice again._

_"No! Please I won't let him-" I scream._

_He throws me against the kitchen table, holding my back down so my chest is over the table. My body immediately tenses knowing what's coming. The belt comes down hard on my butt before I even have a moment to register that he took it off or grabbed it from somewhere. _

_"Owwwwwwwwww!" I scream as the second hit comes harder_.

_"Shut up you slut! This will remind you to never get closer to a boy again. No one is to touch you…understood?" He screams hitting me hard again._

_"Yes…please I won't talk to him…Ow!" I cry as he continues beating me hard with the belt._

_I don't know how long the beating lasts…it feels like hours but I'm sure it's only minutes. My back, butt and thighs all feel like they are on fire. I'm sure that he drew blood again….he hit me too many times in the same spots for there not to be blood. _

_"Your ass is going to be beautiful tonight…nice and red" he says hitting me one final time; this time harder than the others landing the belt buckle square on my back._

_"OooooooooooooWWWWWWWWWWWW!" I scream in agony. _

_End Flashback._

"Ana! Ana!" I can barely hear someone calling my name as I try desperately to open my eyes.

"Ana! ANA! Open your eyes!" The voice is louder.

I finally manage to open my eyes slightly and see Christian leaning over me, his hand gently grasping my uninjured arm. I look around the room and see that I'm still in the hospital, thankfully Christian seems to be the only witness to my nightmare. I'm immediately embarrassed and ashamed at what he just saw…I don't know if he has ever witnessed one of my nightmares before. God, I wish I could remember…everything is so fuzzy.

"Are you okay?" He whispers.

"Yeah….I think so…." I answer.

"Excuse me, is everything okay?" a nurse enters the room.

"Yes it's fine" Christian answers.

"Her heart rate is spiking, I'm going to see if the doctor prescribed a sedative" The nurse says turning around.

"No, please….I'm fine" I plea; all the medications they have me on make me so groggy.

"If it's not down in the next hour or rises again I will have to administer the sedative" she says walking out of the room.

"Are you sure you don't want something to help you sleep? It seemed to have helped you the other night" Christian asks.

"I had a nightmare the other night?" I ask.

"Yes" he sighs. "It looked like you were starting to have one and we were afraid that you were going to injure yourself more. Once the sedative kicked in you slept peacefully again."

"I'd rather not" I say. "All the medication they are giving me has me feeling very groggy, my mind is so fuzzy."

"Do you want to try to sleep some more?" he asks.

"No, I don't think I can" I sigh disappointed seeing that it's barely after three in the morning.

"Okay….just try to take a nap later today so you can rest" he says.

"I don't want to keep you up, I'm sure you're exhausted" I reply.

"No, it's okay" he stretches in the chair.

"Have you gone home at all?" I wonder.

"No" he answers.

"You don't have to sit with me" I say, giving him the opportunity to leave.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else Ana" he smiles gently at me.

"Can you tell me about the accident? You don't seem hurt" I ask.

"No we weren't together at the time. We were talking on the phone" he answers.

"I don't have a car right?" I ask, feeling stupid for not knowing if I own a car.

"No" he sighs. "You were walking home from work-"

"Campenila's right?" I ask.

"Yes, do you remember?" he looks hopeful.

"Not really…I mean I remember working there but…"I say.

"You are the part time assistant manager there and you had just finished working on Valentine's Day. You essentially ran both dinner services for the night and from the little we spoke it sounded like it went off very well. You had just walked out of the restaurant and were crossing the street when you were hit by a car" he explains.

"Oh" I wince.

"Luckily there were several people still outside the restaurant when the accident happened and they immediately called 911. A car in the other lane quickly stopped; the driver was an off duty fire fighter so he was able to administer basic first aid until the ambulance arrived" he says.

"Did they catch the person who hit me?" I ask.

"Not yet" he sighs heavily. "We are working on it around the clock though; I promise you we will find who did this to you and they will pay."

"Are you hungry at all?" Christian asks after a few minutes of silence.

"A little" I admit.

"I'm going to step out and see about getting us some breakfast. If you need me, hold down the one button on this phone and it will immediately ring me. I'm only going to be outside the door" he hands me an iphone.

"Who's phone is this?" I ask examining it.

"Yours" he answers. "Your other one was damaged from the accident so I had a new one delivered last night."

"You bought me a cell phone?" I ask surprised.

"Yes, it was one of my Christmas gifts to you" he smiles walking out.

I'm left sitting in the hospital room alone feeling stunned that he would buy me such an expensive gift. I also feel frustrated and sad that I cannot remember Christian or the relationship we had…or have? From the way he looks at me I can tell he obviously cares a great deal about me; he says he even loves me. I wonder if I felt the same way about him before the accident? Maybe I can ask Kate….surely if she is my best friend and roommate we would have talked about my relationship with Christian. While Christian is outside, a nurse comes in and checks my vitals confirming my heart rate has now returned to normal so she is not going to be giving me the prn medication. She encourages me to try to get some sleep saying my body needs rest; I agree but after a nightmare I always have difficulty falling back to sleep. I'm sure at some point later today the lack of sleep will catch up with me but for right now I'm wide awake. Suddenly I realize how ironic the memory loss truly is; I've lost the memories of what is likely the only person who truly loves me yet remember all the memories of the man who pretty much destroyed me.

"You okay Ana?" Christian squeezes my hand pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry" I sigh.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks gently.

"No" I answer.

"Okay, no pressure. But if you want to talk, I'm here" he encourages.

We talk for some time, learning more about each other; although I suspect it's mostly me learning about Christian. He is very patient and listens to me tell him about myself even though I'm sure he has already heard much of what I'm telling him. I learn some about Christian; he tells me how he started his business and describes some of the projects he is currently working on. His face lights up when he talks about his company; it's obvious his passion truly is his work. Christian tells me about his family – all of which I have apparently already met at least a couple of times. He reassures me that his family thought very highly of me even though I struggle with the thought of being good enough for someone like Christian.

Taylor arrives a short time later with a freshly cooked breakfast courtesy of Gail, Christian's housekeeper and personal chef. Gail has provided several items that the doctor has apparently given the okay for me to eat including jello, oatmeal, hot tea, pudding, a plain croissant and apple sauce. Taylor explains that Gail wasn't sure what I would feel like eating so she packed a few items from the list the doctor provided. He promises that lunch will be delivered in a few hours and that if I want anything specific I should let him or Christian know. The whole thought of having someone cook specifically for me is an odd feeling; Christian seem comfortable with it however as he immediately begins eating the omelet that Gail has cooked for him. Christian has said his company has made him very wealthy and having his own security and housekeep seems to indicate what he has said about himself is true.

"Good Morning, I'm Doctor Smith the orthopedic surgeon assigned to your case" an older doctor introduces himself as we finish our breakfast.

"It's nice to meet you" I shake his hand.

"Ms. Steele, I need to ask before we begin for your permission to discuss your case in front of Mr. Grey" he asks.

"Yes it's fine" I agree.

"I would like to take you for x rays in the next few minutes to check the status of your leg" he explains. "We know your lower leg is broken in two different places however we have been waiting for the swelling to decrease before we determine if surgery is necessary. It looks as if most of the swelling is gone so I would like to have a new x ray taken and we will decide our next course of action from that. Your arm was a more straight forward break and as you can see it has already been put in a cast to insure proper healing."

"Is there anything that needs to be done for her ribs?" Christian asks.

"No, essentially we are going to let those heal pretty much on their own unless the pain becomes unbearable. When she becomes more mobile we recommend wrapping them with an ace bandage but for now no further intervention is needed. Her ribs will likely take slightly longer to heal since they were broken previously and did not heal properly" he answers.

"Thank you doctor" Christian says.

"Are you in any pain?" Dr. Smith asks.

"Not really" Ana answers.

"If you need something for the pain be sure to ask the nurses. They have a variety of pain medications written as a prn for you so just let them know if you need something. The lowest dosage won't make you feel like a zombie; if you feel uncomfortable be sure to let someone know" Dr. Smith lectures.

"I will" I promise.

"A nurse will be in shortly to take you for x rays" Dr. Smith says leaving the room.

**CPOV:**

"Ana, we haven't discussed this yet" I take a deep breath. "But there is a security guard stationed outside your door at all times."

"Why?" Ana looks confused.

"There is evidence that the hit and run accident may not have necessarily been an accident" I sigh; I didn't want to discuss this with her yet but there is no option given that Sawyer will need to accompany her for x rays. "We are still trying to determine who it was and why they went after you, but for now I have posted security outside your door."

"Is it possible that it was…..him?" she asks barely above a whisper and immediately I know who she is referring to.

"We checked immediately and he is currently incarcerated" I reassure her.

"Okay" she lets out the breath she was holding. "So who would have done this?"

"We don't know" I admit. "I have several members of my team trying to figure that out right now. My office has not received any threats against me and no one in media seems to know about our relationship. We are trying to determine the motive behind the hit and run as well as who the driver was."

"I see" she says fearfully.

"Please don't be afraid" I squeeze her hand. "My security team are the best of the best and they will not let anyone get near you. I didn't want to tell you about this yet, but since they are taking you for x rays a member of my security team will be accompanying you. We have several security team members posted throughout the hospital and they are constantly insuring that no one gets near you. I know it's a lot to take in right now but just know that you are safe."

"Ms. Steele, we are ready to take you for the x rays" a nurse cuts our conversation short and begins disconnecting Ana from the monitors.

"You have been informed that her security will be accompanying her correct?" I ask.

"Yes Mr. Grey," The nurse confirms. "He will be able to accompany her to the outside of the x ray room and then from there back to the room. The only time he won't be by her side will be in the x ray room itself however there will be a window he can watch her through. No one is permitted in the room itself when the x ray is being taken."

"Understood, thank you" I reply.

"We should be back within an hour" The nurses says wheeling Ana's bed out of the room.

I walk out insuring that Sawyer is next to Ana before returning to the room spending some time responding to a few emails. There is no update on Ana's case yet from the police, Barney or Welsh yet and Ros seems to be handling everything at GEH. I decide to check in with Dr. Flynn to insure I'm handling everything appropriately. After a few minutes his assistant connects me to his desk and Dr. Flynn quickly answers the phone.

Flynn: Christian, how are you?

Christian: I'm struggling.

Flynn: Taylor has briefed me on what is going on with Ana, has there been any change?

Christian: I don't know if he told you she woke up yesterday…

Flynn: He did.

Christian: She doesn't remember me Flynn….nothing.

Flynn: What do her doctors say?

Christian: They say it's a short term memory loss from slight swelling in a particular area of her brain. They say her memory should return but it will be slowly and in the form of flashbacks as opposed to it all suddenly returning at once.

Flynn: That sounds promising.

Christian: The doctors are very positive (pause). I don't' know what do Flynn. She doesn't remember anything about our relationship, how we met, how we feel about each other or even that we have been intimate!

Flynn: What do her doctors recommend?

Christian: They suggested someone stay with her so we can help her process these flashbacks.

Flynn: Sounds like a good suggestion.

Christian: I feel like I need to do more! (pause) I can't stand the way she looks at me; it's as if I'm a total stranger to her!

Flynn: You pretty much are Christian.

Christian: What if she never remembers? What if she decides she doesn't want to be with me? What if she leaves me? What if I can't get her to fall in love with me again?

Flynn: Deep breaths Christian. (pause) It sounds as if you are assuming she will never remember you; however her doctors seem positive that she will regain her memories right?

Christian: Yes, but what if they are wrong? Or what if she remembers us but doesn't feel the same? What if she no longer loves me?

Flynn: Christian, you can't predict what she will feel when her memory does return however she fell in love with you once and you are still the same person you were a few months ago. Just be there for her, show her how much you love you.

Christian: You're right. (sigh) I just wish there was something else I could do; I feel like all I'm doing is sitting and talking with her.

Flynn: That's probably the most important thing you can do; help her remember, help her make sense of the flashbacks when they start coming.

Christian: How come she didn't forget the abuse? Why did she have to forget all the happy memories and remember the horrible abuse she suffered?

Flynn: Unfortunately those are long term memories which are stored in a separate area of the brain. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it would probably be much harder for her to reconcile the fact that someone abused her as badly as you say they did.

Christian: I suppose.

Flynn: When she feels up to it please let her know I would be willing to come to the hospital for an individual or joint session for her.

Christian: Thank you, I will.

Flynn: Call me anytime Christian, I know this isn't easy for you.

I hang up the call with Dr. Flynn and take a deep breath before I call Kate. I know Kate will want to see Ana right away but I don't want Ana to feel overwhelmed with too many visitors or feel pressured to remember things she can't which is why I have delayed the call until now.

"Christian? Is Ana okay?" Kate answers the phone.

"She's fine Kate" I reassure. "She woke up last night."

"WHAT? Last night? Why didn't you call me?" she screams.

"Calm down Kate" I instruct. "Ana has lost much of her short term memory; she doesn't know who I am, she didn't know she was living with you and doesn't remember the accident."

"Does she remember me?" Kate whispers.

"She thought you had classes together" I answer. "She remembers spending nights at you apartment but doesn't remember moving in."

"What do the doctors say? Will her memory return?" she asks.

"Yes, they are hopeful that it will return as the swelling in her brain decreases. They said that it likely won't come back all at once but instead will come back in flashes or images" I explain.

"I'm in classes most of today, but I will stop by this evening" Kate says.

"Sure, just text or call me before you come incase she is sleeping. She had a nightmare and has been awake since around three" I reply.

"Okay, will do. Please call me if anything else changes Christian" Kate hangs up.

After following up on a few emails, the nurse wheels a sleeping Ana back into the bed and quietly reconnects her to the monitor. The nurse explains that Ana fell asleep just after the x ray was taken but that they were able to get the image they need. She expects the doctor to have read it within the next few hours and we should then know if surgery will be needed. Ana looks so peaceful; I can only hope that at least for now the nightmares stay at bay so her body can get the much needed rest to help her recover. I put Ana's new iphone next to her hand on the bed before I exit the room; I need to touch base with her nurses to determine what she can eat for lunch and check in with Taylor.

"Sir?" Sawyer immediately greets me from his post outside Ana's door.

"I'm going to speak with Ana's nurses and will then make a couple phone calls. Ana has her iphone on her bed and knows to how to reach me but please keep an ear out if she starts waking up. Get me immediately if she starts crying or screaming" I instruct.

"Yes sir" Sawyer confirms.

I briefly speak with Ana's nurses who confirm that Ana is able to eat solid food as long as her stomach will tolerate it. She is to have mostly bland foods initially but if she tolerates it will by tomorrow she should be able to resume a normal diet. They encourage me to have her ask for pain medication when needed as they think she is not admitting to the amount of pain she is likely in given the amount of broken bones she has. They explain that her lowest dosage of pain medicine that her doctor prescribed is essentially the same as taking three pills of Advil. I agree to discuss this with her when she wakes; I am not happy that she might be hiding her pain. If she is truly hiding it she is doing a very good job because I only see her grimace when she tries to adjust her position or breaths in too deeply.

"Taylor, any update?" I say as Taylor greets me in the hall.

"I just got off the phone with the police chief, they updated the APB with the information we provided but as of right now they have not received any hits. He continues to have several detectives working on the cases, speaking with the eye witnesses again and reviewing the footage" Taylor answers.

"Anything from Welsh? Barney?" I ask in frustration that more progress has not yet been made.

"No sir" Taylor answers clearly disappointed.

"Taylor, I don't know when Ana will be discharged but once she is I want to bring her to Escala for her recovery. Can you please arrange for the guest bedroom on the main floor to be transformed into a room for her? I want soothing colors on the wall, a large comfortable bed – not a hospital bed, bright pictures on the wall, a small bookcase, a desk and some of her clothes brought down for her. See that the bathroom is fully stocked with all of her toiletries as well" I instruct.

"Yes sir, I will see that it is arranged" Taylor says.

"Thank you" I sigh in relief. "I don't know how long it will be until she can move up and down the stairs so I want everything she could possibly need at her fingertips."

"Yes sir" Taylor replies.

"Additionally, can you please have Gail send over some lunch? The doctor has cleared her for bland solid food all day today and then if her stomach can handle it she can resume a normal diet tomorrow" I instruct.

"I will have Gail pack something for her and will bring it over shortly" Taylor disconnects.

I haven't spoken to Ana yet about what will happen when she is discharged from here, but there is no way she can go back to the apartment with Kate. For starters there are too many stairs just to get into her building which isn't safe even once Ana is on crutches. Almost as important, until we know who did this to Ana she is not safe and Kate's apartment has no security beyond a locked front door. At Escala I can control who visits, who has access to Ana and insure that she is safe; that would be impossible at Kate's apartment. As much as I would love to have Ana in my bedroom, I know right now that would not be the best thing for her. Aside from the stairs, I don't think Ana would feel comfortable until she regains some of her memories. If she did want me to sleep with, I could easily share the guest room with her until she could safely manage the stairs to move into my bedroom.

I return to Ana's room to find her still sound asleep which pleases me greatly. I take out my laptop and begin working on a few reports that I promised Ros I would try to have ready for her by the end of the week. Ros is preparing to go to New York for a meeting with the company I initially declined to take over but apparently they have an offer they would like us to consider. I would prefer to go to New York myself and hear the proposal but there is no way I will even consider leaving Ana. I am confident in Ros' ability to discuss and analyze the proposal so my report will just summarize some of the key areas I had concerns about last time I met with them.

"Hey" Ana says waking.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask closing my laptop.

"I did" she laughs. "I can't believe I fell asleep while they were taking me back from x ray though."

"I'm sure you're not the first patient to do that" I reassure her.

"Probably not" she giggles.

"I've missed the sound of you giggling" I sigh.

"Taylor will be bringing by lunch soon" I inform her after several minutes of silence. "Kate would like to stop by this evening if you are feeling up to it."

"That should be fine" she says.

"Good Afternoon Ms. Steele, I will be your nurse for the remainder of the day" A nurse interrupts us.

"Nice to meet you" Ana says.

"Have you eaten lunch yet?" the nurse asks.

"Not yet, I just woke up" Ana admits.

"I can have something brought up for you" the nurse says.

"That's not necessarily, I have arranged lunch already" I interject.

"Okay, I will note it in her chart" she replies. "When you have finished with your lunch please ring for me and I will arrange for a sponge bath."

"No!" Ana exclaims.

"I assure you no one is particularly comfortable with it, but we are very professional and will try our best to make sure you are not uncomfortable" The nurse says.

Ana's eyes immediately find mine and I see the fear in her eyes instantly. She is afraid they are going to see her scars and will have to touch her back. I know I need to do something…

"If you see that everything is brought to the room I will see to Ana's sponge bath" I volunteer.

"Sir, I…that's not typical protocol" the nurse stutters.

"I don't care about your protocol" I say sternly. "If you have a problem with this I suggest you take it up with your hospital administrator."

"Yes…sir….I…" The nurse stutters.

"Just bring me what is needed" I say dismissing her.

"Of course" she says shutting the door behind her.

"Ana, I'm sorry she upset you" I say.

"No, thank you for….well for helping. I didn't know what to do or to say" she looks away.

Just then Taylor arrives with a heated bag full of food for both Ana and myself as well as another overnight bag for me. Gail has prepared chicken and rice for both of us, however it is obvious that my dish has more seasoning and sauce on it than Ana's which has more of a broth coating it. Ana however doesn't complain and immediately begins eating her lunch; her appetite seems to have come back in full force which I'm thankful for.

"If you need to go to work, I understand" Ana says as we finish our lunches.

"No, it's fine. Why do you ask?" I ask.

"I saw you were working on your computer earlier and I felt bad, I'm sure you are falling behind in your work" she answers guiltily.

"Nonsense" I say firmly. "Don't ever feel bad for me being here. I worked hard to build the company I have today; I have many strong employees in key positions who can take over when something important like this comes up. Everything can be rescheduled to someone else or until a later time; I just need to tie up a few reports this week which is what I was working on when you were sleeping. You are my key priority now, not work."

"Have I been to your office?" Ana asks after several moments of silence.

"Not yet," I answer.

"Oh" she looks confused.

"Why? I ask.

"I thought….well I saw something…it looked like an office" she says still confused.

"Like a memory? What did you see?" I say hopeful.

"A large room, with white walls…a large dark brown desk that you are sitting behind in a very large chair. There are bookshelves with large hard covered books on it…and a leather couch….papers are everywhere" she describes.

"Ah" I realize what she is remembering. "That is my home office, you have been in there several times."

"That must be it" she says.

"Do you remember anything else?" I ask.

"No, it was just sort of a flash of a picture that came out of no where" she says sadly.

"Excuse me for interrupting" the nurse from earlier walks into the room.

"Here is everything you will need for her sponge bath; I have made a notation in her chart so future shifts are aware of the change in protocol. We recommend you use warm water, but not too hot as it could irritate some of the scratches on her body. I will disconnect the machine, just be sure to reconnect it when you are finished. If you cannot reconnect, please call me and I will take care of it. There's several towels here and a warm blanket to keep her body covered, I would also recommend you turn the heat up so she does not get cold. Do not get her arm cast wet, and for her leg you only need to take care of the area to her knee. Try not to move her leg much-" The nurse explains.

"I'm sure we can manage, thank you" I say dismissing her as she gives me step by step instructions.

"I don't think I like her very much" Ana says quietly as she closes the door.

"She's not very pleasant" I agree. "I will see that after today she is not assigned to your case.

"Christian, that's not necessary" she sighs.

"Of course it is" I say. "Now about this sponge bath…."


	30. Chapter 30

Author's Note: Thank you all for the continued reviews and encouragement! This chapter is a little shorter than the last but hopefully the quick update makes up for the shortness!

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 30 CPOV:**

I lock the door and draw the curtain around the bed just in case someone managed to open the door they would not see Ana half naked. I turn the heat up in the room as the nurse recommended filling up the bowl with warm water. I place everything next to Ana's bed when I notice that her eyes are close and her face is flush. Her heart monitor is disconnected so I can't tell if her heart rate is increased or if something else is wrong.

"Ana? Are you okay?" I ask.

"Ana!" I say louder after she didn't respond.

"Oh…sorry" she blushes deeply.

"Are you okay? Do you not feel well?" I ask concerned.

"No…I'm fine…it wasn't that" she stutters.

"What was it?" I ask.

"I think I remembered something" she pauses. "You were taking my clothes off in a large bathroom, then we were in a shower…."

"We've taken several showers together" I admit.

"This one….we didn't do anything in there, you just held me" she says quietly.

"Oh, that was the night before Valentine's Day….well early then next morning technically" I recall. "You were spending the night at my place and had a nightmare. I suggested a shower to help you overcome the nightmare so you could sleep again. I undressed you and guided you in the shower intent on waiting for you but you asked me to join you."

"Oh" she whispers.

"I know it's a lot to take in right now, but I hope you can trust me. I won't hurt you" I promise.

"It's weird" she says after a few minutes. "While I don't remember you there is something about you that I find comforting. I do trust you…"

"You don't know how happy that makes me" I lean in and gently kiss her on the cheek causing her immediately to blush.

"Gail sent some of your body wash from my apartment so we don't have to use this hospital stuff" I say pouring some into the bin of water.

"I keep stuff at your apartment?" she asks.

"Yes, you actually have a closet full of clothes and toiletry items" I explain.

I begin removing the blankets from her leg and gently begin washing her. I hope that if we can continue she might not be as nervous as I wash her. Feeling her smooth skin and knowing that she has minimal clothing on under the blanket is nearly killing me; it is taking everything in me to not lay next to her and feel her body against mine. I know it will be awhile before we can have sex again, but right now I would love just to feel her against me or even to hold her.

"Do I stay over a lot?" she asks.

"A couple times a week; it really depends on our schedules" I explain as I gently move the washcloth up her leg to the apex of her sex causing her to blush deeply. "When you were on winter break from school you spent most nights you weren't working with me."

"I see" she says closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

"If you want to take a break let me know" I say as I move to washing her arm.

"No, it's okay" she sighs.

I can tell she is fighting an internal battle as I continue to wash her body; she knows eventually I will be washing her back and I'm sure she is uncomfortable with that thought. I gently unsnap the hospital gown at her shoulders and pull the gown down exposing her beautiful chest and perfectly flat stomach. I nearly groan at the beautiful sight and have to stop myself from rubbing my hands all over her. I glance up at Ana to find her eyes closed and her face a deep shade of red which makes me laugh to myself thinking of all the times I have seen her completely naked.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yes" she answers but doesn't open her eyes.

It's not very reassuring but I know I need to do this on her terms. I gently run the wash cloth across her neck, around her shoulders before moving to her chest. She gasps as my hand touches her breast ever so slightly moving her around so I can wash every part of her. I grimace as I see the bruises covering her ribs on the same side as her broken arm and broken leg. I can only infer from this that she landed on that side when she was hit by the car since the majority of the damage to her body is on that side.

"Hey…." Ana's voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"I'm sorry" I quickly apologize and as gently as possible move the washcloth across her bruises.

"It's okay….I think it looks worse than it feels" she says looking at her ribs.

"About that…"I pause. "How come you haven't asked for pain medicine? You have several broken bones, it has to hurt."

"It's not as bad as it looks" she admits. "Honestly, I think I just have a very high pain tolerance given everything…"

"If you feel uncomfortable, promise me you will ask for pain medicine" I beg. "The doctor has one prescribed that he says is the equivalent to three Advil so it won't make you feel groggy."

"Maybe later" she agrees.

I finish washing her stomach and wash her broken leg as best as I can, given the contraption her leg is in. Her leg is covered in bruises and scratches that lead up to her hip and I shudder to think about the new scars she will likely have from this incident. I vow to find the person who did this to her and make sure they pay either legally or otherwise.

"Ana?" I say as I put her arm in the front of her gown.

"I know" she takes a deep breath. "Can you help me sit up?"

"Of course" I immediately put the washcloth back in the bowl before deciding the best way to her move her.

I put my arm under her back and gently sit her up. She takes a sudden breath in as I'm sure sitting straight up is not very comfortable for her. I lean her forward, removing the back of her gown just as her breathing increases. I can tell this time the change in breathing is likely not related to physical discomfort and more from knowing that in this position I can see her entire back including the worst of her scars.

"Are you okay baby?" I whisper.

She nods her head yes but doesn't open the eyes. I quickly take the washcloth, running it over her back trying not to spend much in any given area. Her eyes remain clothes but her breathing slows as I reattach a new gown and lay her back down. I leave her for a few moments to empty the bowl and put away the towels that we used, giving her a chance to collect herself as I'm sure this was an uncomfortable process. It's killing me that she doesn't remember all the progress we both have made being able to touch one another. I know I need to give her time but I felt my heart sinking when I touched her back and her breathing paused.

"Christian?" she calls as I'm finishing in the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" I rush back to her side.

"Yes…." She sighs. "I'm sorry….I wish I were more comfortable with you touching me."

"Ana, please don't apologize" I take her hand in mind, squeezing it gently. "I will be here as long as it takes…it's only been a day since you woke up, you will remember everything."

"What if I don't?" she sobs as tears fall down her face.

"Oh Ana" I sigh.

I pause for a moment not knowing the best way to comfort her right now. If this was my Ana from before the accident I would take her in my arms and hold her tightly. I quickly decide that I'm going to do exactly that…well not hold her tightly but at least try to physically comfort her. I gently climb into bed with her, laying on my side since there isn't much space and put my arm under her shoulders. I bring her as close to my chest as I can manage being careful not to jostle her leg too much in the process. She buries her face in my chest as her sobs become louder; I let her cry realizing all the emotions she must have kept bottled inside since she woke up yesterday. I kick myself thinking about how I've been focusing on how difficult this is and not paying enough attention to how all of this is affecting her.

After several minutes her sobbing slows down and her body stops shaking. I continue to hold her, no words are needed right now. I reach over and attach her monitor again to her fingers, realizing in the process that she has fallen asleep again. I reach over to the table next to the bed, grabbing my phone and send Kate a text message letting her know that Ana is sleeping and to not stop by until she hears from me. As much as I know Kate wants to see Ana right now I know Ana needs her sleep; her body needs the rest so she can recover. I hold her close to me and find myself struggling to stay awake as I've also been awake since Ana's nightmare early this morning. Eventually I give in to the exhaustion and close my eyes, quickly falling asleep holding Ana closely.

I have no idea how long we slept, but I woke to feeling Ana's fingers running up and down my chest every so lightly. I don't say anything or give any indication that I am awake, I take this as a positive sign that she is comfortable with me to be touching me freely.

"Christian?" she asks.

"Hmmmm?" I pretend to be just waking up.

"Thank you" she says putting her head against my chest again.

I hug her, desperately wanting to bring her closer to me but knowing that I can't with her injuries. What I wouldn't do to have her body next to me fully; but at this point I am grateful for even this contact. A few hours ago I thought it was going to be ages before she let me lay in a bed next to her. We still have awhile to go but at least we are moving in a positive direction.

"Grey" I say answering my phone.

"Mr. Grey, it's Sawyer" the voice says.

"Is there a problem?" I ask quickly.

"No….the nurse has been bugging me for the last couple of hours to come in to check on Ana…." He says.

"I will open the door in a moment" I end the call.

"Sounds like she won't be happy again" Ana giggles.

"She'll get over it. They interrupt too much anyway…I hate that they are in here every couple of hours" I say sitting up in bed.

Ana laughs as I pull back the curtain and unlock the door to her room. As Sawyer said, the nurse is standing almost immediately outside the door waiting for us. She huffs but doesn't say a word as she checks Ana's monitor and writes down a few notes on her chart before heading back to the door.

"Excuse me" I stop her.

"Yes?" she asks.

"We were waiting for the results of the x ray Ana had earlier this morning" I inform her.

"The doctor hasn't been down yet" she replies.

"Can you please page him and tell him that we would like to speak with him regarding the x ray results" I direct.

"I will try" she says leaving the room.

I return to Ana's side, texting Kate to let her know that she can stop by anytime this evening since Ana is now awake. Taylor informs me that dinner should be arriving shortly as prepared moments ago by Gail. True to his word Sawyer brings dinner into us a short time later explaining that Taylor was working on something at the moment but had this delivered to the hospital by another member of our team. Sawyer verified that this was someone on the approved visitors list and that they matched the picture Taylor previously provided so there were no concerns.

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele I understand you were requesting to discuss your x ray results" Dr. Smith says entering the room.

"Yes, have you had a chance to review the x rays taken this morning?" I ask.

"Yes, I have" Dr. Smith says. "Initially we were concerned that Ana's leg was broken in two different spots however now that the swelling has decreased significantly we only see one break. The second break we originally is now appearing as more of a hairline fracture. At this time we do not see the need for surgery so I am going to recommend her leg be put into a cast tomorrow. Ana, the cast could come to just below your knee which will give you some mobility in your leg. You will not be able to bare any weight for some time and since your arm is also in a cast crutches will not be an option. You will be restricted to a wheelchair at least until you have full use of your arm."

"Ok" Ana says holding back tears.

"Thank you doctor. Do you have a projected discharge date?" I ask.

"I need to consult with her neurologist but probably within the next two days if there are no further complications" he answers before leaving the room.

"Ana?" I ask.

"What am I going to do Christian? I can't be confined to a wheelchair!" she cries.

"It's okay…you just have to trust me Ana everything is going to be okay" I reassure her.

"How is it going to be okay? I can't work, I can't get back and forth to school unless I can maybe the buses are wheelchair accessible but even then how am I going to get around campus? If I can't work how am I going to have any money? I have the scholarship but still-" She sobs.

"Ana? Baby, you need to calm down. I will work everything out okay?" I pull her face up so she is looking at me. "You let me worry about everything."

"Okay" she says softly.

"Ana?" I ask after a moment.

"Hmmm?" she says.

"You remember the scholarship?" I ask surprised.

"Oh….I guess. I don't know how I know that I have it" she says confused.

"That's okay" I reassure her.

We finish our dinner making small chat throughout, but I can tell Ana is still worried about being confined to a wheelchair. I hope once Kate arrives she can lighten up her mood; I quickly send Kate a text letting her know what is going on and ask that she try to cheer Ana up when she gets here. I also send an email to the Dean at the university explaining the situation and requesting, well more insisting, that he arrange the remainder of the semester be completed via self-study for Ana since getting to and from campus every day is not safe for her right now.

**Ana's POV:**

I'm barely eating as the reality of what happened is truly sinking in. Not only have I lost most of my memory about the gorgeous man sitting next to me but now I hear that I am going to be confined to a wheelchair for at least several months. I can't expect Christian to put up with me restricted to a wheelchair when I can barely stand to have him touch me. Plus, if I can't work how am I going to pay what is likely going to be thousands of dollars in medical bills from this accident? My health insurance through the university barely covers anything and I'm sure the bills for this private room alone are going to cost more than my college education.

"Knock knock!" Kate exclaims bouncing into the room.

I quickly put on a brave face and smile as she sits down next to me. Luckily I at least recognize Kate even if I don't recall everything about our friendship over the last few years.

"How are you Ana?" Kate asks.

"Better" I answer. "How are you?"

"I'm going to leave you two ladies to catch up" Christian interrupts. "I have a few phone calls to make and some work to do. You both now how to reach me but I will be in waiting room just across the hall."

"We'll be fine" Kate says.

"Bye" I reply as he kisses me lightly on the cheek.

"You don't remember Christian at all huh?" Kate says as he leaves the room.

"Not really" I admit. "I've had a couple flashes here and there but nothing significant."

"I'm sure it will come back soon, you two have had so many memories together in the last few months" she gushes.

"Can I ask you something?" I say a few moments later.

"Of course," Kate answers quickly.

"Christian says he loves me…do I…did I…." I stutter.

"Yes, you loved him" she interrupts. "You were concerned initially that you were falling too fast for him but you both fell just as hard and just as fast for each other. You couldn't keep your hands off of each other; every time I saw you, you guys were either kissing or groping each other."

"Oh" I giggle blushing deeply.

"Seriously, I have never seen you as happy as you were whenever Christian was around, when he would text or call you or even when you just talked about him. Your entire face would light up; it was as if you had a new purpose in your life" she describes.

"He tells me you're dating his brother?" I ask.

"Yes, Elliot" she sighs. "We've been dating a little longer than you have been with Christian. We have double dates including once at their parent's home!"

"I've been to his parent's house?" I ask surprised that we are that serious.

"Yes, you've been there twice I believe. Once for Christmas dinner and then another time when I was there" she answers.

"Wow, I guess it is serious then" I say.

"Very…." She replies. "Give him a chance, even if you don't remember everything you have to see how much he loves you just by the way he looks at you."

"I do….I could tell that right away" I admit. "I feel safe with him, I trust him even if I don't remember all the reasons."

Kate and I chat for what feels like several hours and I can tell it's getting late as the sun sets just outside my window. Kate caught me up a lot on the last couple years including the many sleepovers we had at her apartment, the various crazes in the celebrity industry and most importantly my relationship with Christian. It meant a lot that she was able to confirm that I have just as strongly about Christian as he felt about me. I'm still struggling with the fact that I allowed him to touch my back on many different occasions, that he saw my scars and saw me completely naked often. I can't picture myself doing that now but I suppose it's because I haven't remembered everything yet. Kate promises to stop by tomorrow after her classes as she kisses me on the cheek goodbye. She must have texted Christian because as soon as she opens the door he is there to take her place next to my bed. I am thankful that I am not sitting in this hospital room alone as I think that would drive me crazy.

"How are you feeling?" Christian sits down next to me.

"Very tired" I yawn. "What time is it?"

"Quarter after eight" he checks the clock on his phone.

"It feels much later" I admit.

"Do you want to try to get some sleep?" he asks.

"I think so" I yawn again.

Christian turns off the lights, closes the doors and settles in the chair before starting up his computer explaining he has some work to finish before he calls it a night. I fall asleep rather quickly watching him work secretly thankful for the man I know so little about is giving up his days and nights to sit with me and try to help me remember him.


	31. Chapter 31

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 31 CPOV:**

I sit and watch Ana sleep for what feels like hours, I am so relieved that she is beginning to trust me. When I initially realized she had no idea who I was my biggest fear was that she was going to kick me out of her life. I couldn't stand the thought of not being here with her, not sitting next to her bed and holding her hand, not helping her problem solve everything or just not being able to talk her to her. We spent a lot of time today talking which I'm hoping will eventually trigger some of her memories. My mother has reassured me that Dr. Walker is the hospital's top neurologist and that there is no reason to consult with another doctor as long as her memory is returning. I was hesitant but I trust my mother's medical advice and decide to be patient as she suggested.

The next morning while Ana is getting her leg in a cast I have a meeting in the waiting room with Taylor and Sawyer. With Ana likely being discharged in the next day or two we need to finalize plans for her to come to Escala. Once I have confirmation that everything is in place at my apartment for Ana I will discuss this with her. I hope she doesn't argue about staying with me; if she does I need to make her realize there really isn't another option.

"Taylor, Sawyer…thank you for meeting me this morning" I say as we sit down.

"How is Ms. Steele?" Taylor asks.

"Thankfully she continues to do well" I answer. "She is having a cast put on her leg right now as they do not believe surgery is necessary. Which brings me to the reason I asked you both here today…the doctor informed us last night that if there are no complications Ana should be discharged in the next day or two. Taylor, where do we stand with the main level guest bedroom?"

"Everything is completed sir" Taylor answers.

"Good" I sigh. "I want two wheelchairs purchased for Ana; I don't care the cost. One needs to be electric; with her arm in a cast she cannot possibly wheel herself around very easily. This will be used primarily at the apartment so she is not confined to one room or having to rely on others for assistance. The second wheelchair should be a standard wheel chair that can easily collapse for transport. I want this one to be easy to push as we will likely use it when we go out."

"Yes sir" Taylor confirms typing on his phone.

"Sawyer, you are to be assigned to Ana at all times. I expect the majority of her time will be spent in the apartment aside from doctor appointments but whenever she leaves the apartment I want you with her. She may need two guards when going out for doctor's appointments – we will have to see and if necessary Taylor can you arrange for someone on those days?" I ask.

"Yes sir" Sawyer and Taylor say in unison.

"Taylor has there been any progress on the investigation?" I ask.

"Not yet sir" Taylor says pausing.

"Is there something else?" I ask sensing his hesitation.

"I've pulled the list of guests from Campanelli's the night of Ana's accident" he says.

"And?" I ask impatiently.

"It seems Elena was there –" he begins.

"WHAT?!" I scream. "What was she doing there? Did she speak to Ana?"

"I don't know sir" Taylor answers calmly. "I have spoken to Antonio and he said Ana didn't alert him to any concerns. I've checked with the wait staff and none of them saw her interact with Elena that night. I spoke to the server assigned to Elena's table who doesn't recall her being in a bad mood or being rude. She remembered Elena provided her with a decent tip and that she was with a date for the evening. I've reviewed the cameras from inside the restaurant but unfortunately I cannot see the table Elena sat at in the footage as the camera is focused on the bar and registers. I saw Ana several times on the footage and she never appears upset sir."

"Very well, I want you to dig into Elena further and see if anything comes up suspicious. See if you can determine her whereabouts after dinner and who she was with" I sigh.

"Yes sir" Taylor and Sawyer leave the room.

I sit for a few moments contemplating what Sawyer just said. I would never have thought Elena would be capable of something like this but now I'm not sure. I know on Christmas Day she was pissed that my mother learned what happened but we hadn't heard from her since then so I assumed it wasn't an issue. She never tried to reach out to me since that day and Ana never mentioned seeing her or hearing form her again. Is it possible that Elena had someone try to kill Ana? What would her motivation be? Could she want to control me that much? What would taking Ana out of my life accomplish? I try to dismiss the thoughts telling myself that Elena could not be capable of something like this but in the back of my head I'm still questioning it.

Before returning to Ana's room, I take a few minutes to check the emails that I have received overnight since I hadn't had a chance to check them earlier. Ros notified me she will be sending over several items that require my signature later this afternoon. The Dean from the university responded stating he is working closely with Ana's professors to develop work study assignments so that Ana can complete the semester. He assures me that Ana will be able to attend graduation with her class in May even if it takes her a little longer to complete these assignments. I confirm with the hospital administrator that all of Ana's bills are to be sent directly to me and remind him that no one is to discuss the hospital bills with Ana. I quickly call my mother and ask her for a list of the top physical therapists in Seattle so that once Ana is cleared for therapy I can hire someone to work directly with her. She also agrees to provide me with a home nursing service as Ana will likely need assistance once she is home.

"I'm sorry Ana, I didn't realize you were back" I greet her walking back into her room.

"That's okay, I know you have work to do" she says.

"How did the casting go? I see you opted for purple" I laugh noting the bright colored cast now on her leg.

"It wasn't too bad" she sighs. "The nurse just gave me pain medicine though because it was somewhat painful when they were moving it around."

"Good, hopefully you will be feeling better soon" I say.

"They finally took out the catheter" she blushes.

"I bet that's a relief" I laugh.

"It is!" she giggles. "The nurse is supposed to help me to the bathroom when I need to go but…"

"I will help you" I interject knowing she is worried about someone touching her back.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a bother-" Ana says.

"Ana you are not a bother!" I say more loudly than necessary. "I want to help you with whatever you need."

"Thank you" she whispers.

The morning passes by quickly and once again Gail has sent over a delicious meal for lunch. Ana is thankful to be eating regular meals now and her stomach does not seem upset from the omelet she had this morning that Gail made. For lunch Gail prepared us grilled chicken Caesar salad wraps which were still warm when they were delivered. I make a mental note to give Taylor and Gail a bonus for all the work they have done while Ana has been in the hospital. Taylor has ran so many errands for me, most of which he took it upon himself to take care of. Gail has been fantastic at providing us with three meals a day, following Ana's diet restrictions and always making sure the food is still hot when it arrives. I know when they initialed signed on with me they likely never thought they would be helping me take care of the woman I love and for their assistance these last few days I am very grateful.

"Do you feel okay?" I ask Ana as I notice she has been really quiet for a while now.

"I guess" she sighs.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" I ask.

"No, it's not that" she takes a breath. "I know you told me not to worry, but I can't help it. What am I going to do Christian?"

I quickly move to her side, climbing in bed next to her as her eyes fill with tears. I know for someone as independent as Ana is this is going to be hard for her. She is used to not relying on anyone for anything and not having anyone to take care of her. I'm sure this is the first time in her life that she won't be able to take care of herself and will need to rely on someone else. Given her mother's track record of being there for her daughter I can only imagine how scary this must be for her.

"Ana, please don't cry" I hold her close to me. "I told you to let me handle all the worrying and I have everything taken care of."

"You do?" she looks up with glassy eyes in surprise.

"Of course baby" I smile at her. "I have spoken with the Dean at the university who is working with your professors to develop work study projects that you can complete at home once you are feeling up to it. The Dean has confirmed that you will be able to graduate with your class in May even if you still need to complete some of the assignments over the summer."

"Oh thank goodness" she sighs in relief. "I couldn't see how I could manage getting around campus in a wheelchair or even getting back and forth to campus."

"I have spoken to Antonio as well, he is holding your job for as long as you need" I add.

"I hate the thought of him being short staffed because of me; I have a feeling it's going to be some time before I am able to be on my feet for that long again" she admits.

"He said he wouldn't hear of hiring anyone else, he just wants you to get better" I say.

"He has been so kind to me over the years" she says.

"The only other thing is…" I take a deep breath not knowing how she is going to react this. "when you are released from the hospital you will be staying with me."

"What?" she looks at me surprised. "No, Christian I can stay at Kate's apartment. I can't ask you to continue to rearrange your entire life for me. I'm sure Kate's apartment will be fine; the floor plan is pretty open so I can probably maneuver a wheelchair around without a problem. There is an elevator in the building so that's not a concern."

"Ana, you're right there is an elevator in the building but there is also several steps in front of the building. The building itself is not handicapped accessible" I explain.

"Oh…" she says. I can see the wheels turning in her head considering her other options. "Christian I'm sure I can figure something out, I don't want to be an inconvenience to you…"

"You are not an inconvenience!" I tell her firmly. "I love you, I want to take care of you…please Ana please let me."

"Are you sure it won't be too much trouble? That you even have the extra space for me?" she asks.

"Ana, trust me when I tell you space is not a concern. I have a guest room on the main floor that has an attached full bathroom which would be perfect for you. I know you don't remember my apartment but the floor plan is very open so you would be able to access every area of the main floor without a problem. Plus Gail is at the apartment every day to help you with meals and I will hire a nurse-" I explain.

"What? A nurse? No! I don't need a nurse Christian, I'm not disabled" she interrupts.

"I know you're not baby. I just thought a nurse would be able to help you in and out of the chair, or to use the bathroom or anything else you might need" I say surprised that she would object to a nurse.

"No, Christian…at least not right away" she sighs. "Let me try it by myself and then if I need help we can look at a nurse."

"If it's about the cost-" I begin.

"It's not that Christian" she interrupts me again. "I don't want to have to rely on someone every time I need to pee or want to move. The doctor said I can use a cane to get in and out of the chair as long as I'm not walking. The only thing I would probably need help with is a bath but I'm sure…"

"That won't be a problem" I smile as she blushes, clearly thinking of me helping her.

"Then it's settled, no nurse" she states.

"For now…but if it's too much you will tell me" I confirm.

"I will…." She pauses. "But I could use some help now."

"What do you need?" I ask looking down at her.

"Help getting to the bathroom?" she asks shyly.

"Of course" I quickly stand up.

I disconnect her finger from the heart monitor before pulling the curtain closed around her bed just in case someone were to come in. I gently lift her out of the bed bridal style, keeping her uninjured side against my chest. She grimaces at the change in position but seems to relax rather quickly so I don't think she is too uncomfortable. I bring her into the bathroom and gently place her down so she is standing on one food leaning against me.

"I think I can manage from here" she says trying to get me to leave.

"Absolutely not" I say quickly. "I'm not leaving you alone in the bathroom the first time you have stood up in days Ana! You could fall and injure yourself more."

She doesn't argue as I hold up the back of her gown so she can sit on the toilet. Her face is bright red from blush as she looks up at me.

"Can you at least look the other way?" she asks.

I giggle but turn around.

"God this is so embarrassing" she mumbles as I assist her in standing up.

"Ana, I know you don't remember but I can assure that I am very familiar with that area of your body" I say causing her to blush deeply again.

"Ugh" she lets a breath out. "Can you please help me back to bed?"

"With pleasure" I say carrying her back to her bed.

It felt so good to have her that close to me once again. I feel like I haven't been close to her in ages even though we were together the morning of her accident. I get her settled back into her bed and hook the monitor back up just as the nurse enters the room to check her vitals probably realizing the monitor was disconnected.

"Ana, I need to go meet someone from my office across the hall to sign a few papers" I say as Ros notifies me that her assistant is bringing over the forms.

"Don't worry about me Christian, I will be fine for a few minutes" she reassures me.

"Your phone is right here, just call me if you need anything" I instruct.

"Go Christian, I will be fine" she smiles.

I quickly go to the waiting room across the hall which I'm becoming very familiar with and within minutes Ros' assistant arrives with the documents. I take a few minutes to review everything before signing it. I'm about to return to Ana when Taylor walks into the waiting room.

"Sir, we have Elena's credit card receipts for the night of the accident" Taylor begins.

"And?" I ask impatiently.

"She made several purchases after dinner that evening including checking into a hotel in northern California shortly after Ana was struck" he says.

"So it couldn't have been Elena" I sigh.

"No sir" Taylor says. "We are looking into everyone she was connected with and trying to find the identity of her date from that evening."

"Very well" I reply.

"I have secured the wheelchairs as you requested sir. The electric one is being delivered tomorrow morning and the standard wheelchair is already in the guest bedroom at Escala" Taylor confirms.

"Good" I say in relief. "Taylor, can you also find something to go over her cast for a bath? Maybe ask the nurses or my mom want they would recommend? There has to be something that can fit over the casts so they don't get wet but that so Ana can still take a bath."

"Yes sir, the company I purchased the wheelchairs through actually made several recommendations. I have purchased a couple different versions of the cast covers so you and Ana can determine what works best for her" Taylor explains.

"Taylor…."I am speechless. This man is truly worth is weight in gold.

"Let me know if you need anything else sir" He says handing me our basket of dinner.

"Are you okay?" I walk back into Ana's room.

"Christian, you were barely gone – I'm fine" she smiles.

"It took longer than I would have liked" I say.

"Can I ask you something?" she asks after a few moments.

"Yes…of course" I sit down next to her.

"I had a weird flashback…at least I think it was a flashback. I'm not sure…maybe I dozed off" she begins. "I was falling, fast and the ground was below me as if I were falling from somewhere high."

"Ah….that was when you jumped out of a plane" I explain.

"When I what?" she asks surprised.

"I took you sky diving just after Christmas" I explain. "You did what's called a tandem jump with the instructor; meaning you were attached to him when you jumped. I've done it several times, I jumped solo first and you with the instructor followed shortly after."

"Wow…that sounds like fun" she admits.

"It was; I'll take you again once you are healed" I promise.

"That would be nice" she says.

The remainder of the night passes by quickly as we continue to chat; I share stories of a few of the things we did together but she doesn't have any other flashes of memory. While I wish her memory would return quickly, I am thankful that at least for now it's returning in the form of happy memories. I'm not looking forward to telling her about my involvement with Elena and BDSM again. My biggest fear is that she would leave me again once she learns what I was involved in. I can only hope the memories remain positive and by stay away from Elena at least until I can build up her trust in me. Kate stops by after dinner and spends a couple hours with Ana again which gives me the opportunity to catch up on some emails and reports. I advise Andrea and Ros that I will be working from home next week but expect my days to be shortened and that I might not be available at all times. I want to be sure that Ana is comfortable in the apartment before I return to work that way if she needs anything we have time to get it.

Ana falls asleep fairly early again tonight; I think the medication combined with the busy day today she had is making her really tired. I stay up for several more hours getting some work done and just watching Ana sleep. I'm surprised she didn't try to fight me more on staying with me once she is released from the hospital but I think she realizes that there really isn't another option. Kate agreed with me when she was here earlier that staying at her apartment isn't the best option. Kate reminded Ana that her and Elliot are going away for spring break so she would be gone for at least a week which would leave Ana alone in the apartment.

**APOV:**

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm" I hear a moan.

I quickly open my eyes, trying to wake up when I hear the moan again this time louder. The hospital room is dark but I can see Christian is asleep in the chair next to me. He seems to be having some type of a nightmare as he thrashes around in the chair.

"Nooooooooooooo! Mommy! Mommy! Help me!" He screams in a small voice.

I don't know what to do…I try calling his name but he isn't responding. I need to somehow get to him but I can't get in and out of this bed without assistance. The nurse brought a cane in last night for me to try but Christian insisted we wait until morning as my body was tired enough.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" he moans again.

"CHRISTIAN!" I call loudly but he doesn't respond.

I unhook my leg from the hanging thing it is in and move to the edge of the bed as best as I can. I try to reach out to him but just can't seem to reach far enough. I sigh searching around the room, trying to figure out what to do. I notice the cane on the other side of my bed and slowly move myself back over so I can grab it. Christian continues to thrash against the chair he is laying in and I'm afraid he's going to hurt himself if this continues much longer. His face looks as if he is in tremendous physical pain as he continues to scream no and beg for someone to stop him. I make my way to the edge of the bed, away from all the machines and gently easy myself out of bed using the case for support. After some awkward movements I manage to get next to Christian and gently rub his shoulder calling his name. I'm hoping this helps because if he doesn't wake up soon I'm going to have to find someone to help me.

"Christian! Please wake up" I beg running my hands through his hair.

"Ana?" he finally opens his eyes looking at me confused.

"Thank goodness" I sigh and hobble back towards the bed so I can lean against it.

"What are you doing? Why are you out of bed?" He asks breathless.

"You were having a nightmare…You wouldn't wake up until I reached you" I explain.

"Oh, Ana I'm sorry" he says embarrassed. "Let me help you back into bed, I don't want you to hurt yourself because of me."

"I didn't know what else to do" I sigh as Christian places me back into the bed. "I called your name so many times…"

"It's your touch" he says.

"Huh? What is?" I ask confused.

"That's the only thing that brings me out of a nightmare quickly" he admits.

"Do you have them often?" I ask.

"They've become less in the months that we have been together" he admits, laying back in the chair.

"Christian?" I ask bravely.

"Hmmmm?" he answers.

"Will you come lay with me?" I ask shyly.

He doesn't answer but practically jumps out of his chair and climbs into bed with me. I move closer to him, wanting to feel him closer to me. I don't know what it is but knowing that he has nightmares like mine, I feel the sudden urge to comfort him. He puts his arm under my head and gently pulls me closer to his chest. This feels so right, I think just before my eyes shut and sleep finds me once again. Christian must sleep well the rest of the night because when I wake up I find that we are in the same position that we fell asleep in.

"Morning" he says kissing me on my forehead.

"Did you sleep okay?" I ask.

"I always sleep better when you're next to me" he smiles.

There is a knock at the door which interrupts us and Christian quickly moves out of the bed. My mom walks in, hugging Christian tightly before checking my vitals.

"How are you feeling dear?" she asks.

"Good" I answer.

"I've spoken with both of your doctors and they agree that you are ready to be discharged today. They are preparing the discharge paperwork now but it will probably be late morning before you are officially released" she explains.

"Okay" I say.

"These are two prescriptions for pain medication should you need it" she hands me a piece of paper. "The first is just ibuprofen and is pretty mild; it won't make you tired or groggy. The other is Tylenol with codeine which is much stronger but if you are in pain you should take it. Do not take the medications together, you have to wait until one wears off before you take another one. If you are unsure call me and I will check when it is safe to take the next dose."

"I will" I agree.

"You have a couple follow up appointments" she hands me another piece of paper. "But nothing for the next three weeks. After about four to six weeks your arm should be ready to come out of the cast at which point they will recommend you begin physical therapy. I've given Christian a list of physical therapists that I would recommend when the doctor gives you the go ahead. Your leg will likely take longer to heal but they will monitor to see how long you need to be in the cast."

"Thank you" I say taking everything in.

"Do you have any questions Ana? Christian?" she asks.

"No" I answer.

"I don't think so Mom" Christian says. "I will have Taylor arrange to pick us up once we have the final paperwork. He will be here shortly with breakfast anyway."

"Have I met your mother before?" I ask as a quick flash of his mom dressed in a formal gown comes to mind.

"She was the doctor when you were brought here the night of the accident and she was here when you first woke up" Christian answers.

"No, I mean before the accident…Kate said I was at your parent's house for dinner a couple times. But did I meet her somewhere else?" I ask confused.

"Yes, you met her at a dinner she held at Campenelli's" he explains.

"Was it a formal dinner?" I ask trying to place the image.

"Yes, she rented out the private room for a black tie affair" he answers.

"Ah, that must be it. I just a brief flash of her in a formal gown" I describe.

"That was the first time I learned your name" he admits.

"Oh?" I ask.

"I left that night having only seen you for a few minutes but had Taylor find out who you were; I was memorized by you. That was after you bumped into me on the sidewalk but before you spilled coffee on my shoes" he laughs.

After we eat a delicious breakfast of warm pancakes and fresh fruit Christian begins packing up my room. I'm amazed at the amount of stuff I have accumulated in the few days we have been here. It's a lot of Christian's belongings of course, but there's the fresh flowers he made sure were brought to my room every day. We decide to donate the flowers to the pediatric ward of the hospital rather than bringing them back to Christian's apartment. Grace happily accepts the flowers noting that kids love to receive flowers and they always had color to the floor. Taylor brings a small bag up to my room before taking all of Christian's bags down to the car.

"Are you ready to get into some real clothes?" he asks pulling the curtain closed and locking the door.

"I'm ready to get out of this gown" I laugh.

I try not to blush as Christian unsnaps the front of my gown as I sit on the edge of the bed. I try to hold the gown up so it covers my chest however quickly realize this is not possible if I'm going to put a bra on. I try to remind myself that this man has seen me naked several times even if I don't remember them. He gently takes the gown from my grip and allows it to fall to my waist before he assists me with putting my bra on. He leans close to me, reaching behind me to clasp the bra closed and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Ana…." He sighs.

"Christian" I say as he looks at me.

As if we are in slow motion, I feel his fingers gently lift my chin up so I am looking up towards him just as his face inches closer to me. He looks at my lips longingly before glancing back at my eyes, making sure I know what his intention is. When I don't move or say anything, he gently places his lips against mine. His lips are soft against mine and almost instantly several flashes occur before me. All of the images are of his lips on mine…we seem to be in different positions. Some we are standing up, some sitting down, some he seems to be laying on top of me and the degree of passion seems to vary with each image.

"Ana?" Christian says pulling me from my thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry" I blush.

"What happened there?" he asks.

"When you…when you kissed me it triggered a bunch of memories" I blush.

"What kind of memories?" he smiles.

"All of us kissing" I answer.

"We have kissed a lot" he admits his smile getting bigger.

Christian assists me in putting on a short sleeve blouse that I don't recognize but it could be something brand new. It's not easy getting dressed as my ribs are still pretty sure and my arm has limited movement but somehow he manages it with ease. He assists me in standing on one foot, gently removing the hospital issued underwear. I immediately close my eyes as I feel the heat rise to cover my face as I stand in front of him bare from the waist down. He quickly puts a clean pair of silk underwear on me before putting on long skirt.

"Thank you" I whisper opening my eyes.

"You're welcome" he pushes a wheelchair towards me. "Let's go home."


	32. Chapter 32

Author's Note: Thank you all for the wonderful feedback and reviews. I love that so many of you enjoyed the last sentence in the previous chapter!

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 32 CPOV:**

We arrive back to Escala after a short ride from the hospital where Taylor quickly removes a wheelchair from the back of the SUV. Ana slides to the edge of the car seat before I lift her up to place her in the wheelchair. I hate the idea that she is in this thing but I am thankful that she is finally out of the hospital and back to Escala. I've missed having here and being able to spend time with her without a nurse or doctor constantly interrupting.

"Sir, I will bring the bags up through the service elevator" Taylor informs us.

I gently push Ana over the elevator which arrives moments after I call for it. I enter the code for the penthouse just as the doors close. I notice Ana closes her eyes as the elevator goes up and her face is flush just as we arrive at the penthouse.

"Ana? Are you okay?" I ask before we exit the elevator as her eyes are still closed and her cheeks are flushed.

"Sorry….another memory I think" she opens her eyes and smiles.

"Oh?" I ask trying to figure out what memory she could have just had.

"I'll tell you later" she whispers gesturing towards the foyer where Taylor and Gail are waiting for us.

I push Ana into the foyer and watch her eyes get larger as she looks around the penthouse. I introduce her to Gail who of course she doesn't remember even though they have met several times. I bring Ana into the great room and gently move her to the couch so she could be more comfortable. Her eyes are still wide as she takes in the entire room including the baby grand piano that sits in front of the windows with a beautiful view of Seattle.

"Wow" she sighs.

"So tell me about the memory in the elevator" I request.

"Oh that" she blushes again. "We were laughing in a car and then we got into the elevator; it was just the two of us. As soon as the doors closed you pushed me up against the walls, you were kissing me….you were very close to me."

"Oh…." I say after a few minutes of thinking through all the times we were in the elevator. "That was New Year's Eve…we were at a club ringing in the new year before we decided to come back here."

"We looked very….involved" she blushes.

"That's probably putting in mildly" I laugh. "That night was the first time we made love."

"OH!" she exclaims embarrassed.

"Would you like to see the bedroom where you will be staying?" I ask.

"Sure" she says grateful for the change in topic.

I gently place her back in the wheelchair and show her around the main floor before bringing her to the only bedroom on this level which is right next to my office. I open the door and gently wheel her in, immediately I am stunned at the transformation of this room. Gone are the white, boring walls now replaced with a warm and inviting dark tan color with pictures of the ocean hung up. There is a large bed against the one wall of the room, covered in a warm multicolored comforter with several matching pillows.

"This room is beautiful Christian" Ana says pulling me away from my own surprise.

"There is a bathroom through this door" I indicate. "It shares a connecting door with my office which is just on the other side of this wall."

"I can't thank you enough for doing all this for me Christian" she gushes. "I will try not to turn your life too upside down."

"Ana, you've been turning my life upside down since the moment I met you" I laugh.

"I have?" she says surprised. "How?"

"Before I met you no one could touch my chest or my back" I say and she immediately gasps no doubt realizing she has touched me there several times even just since she woke up. "The first time we met, when you bumped into me, you almost fell backwards so I pulled you against my chest. It was the first time anyone ever touched me there without causing me to feel immense pain and see red."

"Why doesn't it bother you?" she asks in awe.

"I don't know" I sigh. "My therapist says it's because I saw something in you in those first few seconds we met that reassured me that I could trust you and that you would never hurt me."

"Wow, that's amazing" she whispers.

"Since then I have been able to hug my mom which I've never been able to do" I admit. "So you see, without even knowing it you tuned my world upside down the moment I met."

"Were you able to touch my….my back? Did I react?" she asks.

"Initially, no I wasn't able to. The night…well I guess it was our first date…we were at a club with Kate and Elliot, dancing and without knowing your limitations I touched the center of your back –" I begin.

"My back was bare…the dress was low or something in the back?" she asks.

"Yes, it dipped very low in the back and you looked beautiful in it" I smile. "The moment I touched you there, you made an excuse and ran to the bathroom. We stayed that night until they closed and just as we were waiting in line for our coats they turned the lights on."

"And you saw them?" she asks surprised.

"Not all of them, but yes, I saw them" I admit.

"Oh my God, I must have flipped out" she whispers.

"Actually, no" I smile. "We didn't discuss it that night, I put your jacket on you and we ended our night."

"But eventually I let you touch me? I mean we must have if we…." She blushes.

"Yes, I think as you trusted me you became more comfortable" I explain. "One night we shared our stories…I was adopted by Grace and Carrick but before that I was abused when I was younger. I had cigarettes put out on my chest and my back which left scars and is the reason I could never stand to let anyone touch me there. One night I shared that with you and in turn you decided to trust me enough to share your story with me."

"I did?" she whispers.

"Yes" I nod. "You were afraid I would run after I heard your story, which I didn't but you still had your doubts I think. Later that night, you showed me all your scars and when I didn't run or turn away we took our first of many showers together."

"You've seen all of them?" she asks surprised.

"Yes" I squeeze her hand. "And I think you are beautiful inside and out. Your scars don't define you; they are a reminder of how strong you are, of how much you have overcome."

"Christian" she moans.

I bend down so I am at her level in the chair and I kiss her deeply, trying to convey in the kiss how much I love her, how beautiful she is and how much I trust her. Her uninjured hand wraps around my neck and gently pulls me closer to her as she moans in my mouth. I take this moment to gently rub my tongue along her lips and much to my surprise she opens her mouth further giving me more access. I moan as my tongue explores her mouth; I've missed kissing her like this…

"Sir, ma'am?" Gail knocks on the door interrupting our moment.

"Yes Gail?" I ask breathless.

"Lunch is ready in the dining room" she says.

"We will be out in a moment" I reply.

"Wow" Ana sighs.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to kiss you like that" I admit.

"Would you mind if I used the bathroom before lunch?" she asks shyly.

"Do you want help?" I ask.

"I think if you can just wheel me to door I'm going to use the cane" she says. "Just stay outside the door please."

"I'll leave it open just a little" I say as she stands up from her chair gripping the cane tightly for support.

A few minutes later we are seated around the dining room table enjoying some of Gail's homemade macaroni and cheese. I explain to Ana that an electric wheelchair is here for her to use as well so that she doesn't haven't to rely on me at the same time reassuring her that I don't mind pushing her throughout the apartment. Her face immediately lights up at having a little freedom and she hugs me tightly thanking me over and over again. Ana can hardly contain herself and as soon as lunch is finished, she tries out the new wheelchair quickly learning how to maneuver it all over the apartment. After bumping into walls and furniture a few times she seems to get the hand of it and easily moves from room to room. My heart swells seeing her this happy; I don't care how much this chair cost seeing her smile like this was worth it.

"Christian, I think I'm going to get ready for bed" Ana says later than evening.

"Sure, I will show you where your clothes are" I say following her into what is now her bedroom.

Ana quickly moves herself from the wheelchair to the bed with little assistance from me; I can tell she is getting tired though as her eyes are very heavy. I go to the dresser looking through the clothes that Taylor brought down from my room. I find a silk gown that should be easy to get over her casts and set it on the bed next to her.

"That's mine?" she asked surprised.

"I had a personal shopper send over a few items for you when you first started spending the night here since sometimes it was spontaneous and you didn't always have a change of clothes with you. Although most nights you would just sleep in my t shirts which I thought was much sexier than this" I admit causing her blush.

Ana doesn't say anything as I assist her out of her shirt, take off her bra and put on the new pajamas. She manages to stand on one foot so I can pull her skirt off before laying back in bed. I help her move the blankets around so she can get comfortable before turning off the light.

"There's a phone next to your bed, if you hit two my office will ring. I'm going to be in there for a little this evening. Hitting one will ring Taylor who will come to you at any time of the night. Hitting three gets you to my bedroom, which will have me here in moments. Your cell phone is also right here, hold down one and my cell phone will ring. Ana, please call me or Taylor if you need something…I don't care what time of the night or what you need just promise you will call" I beg.

"I promise Christian" she vows as her eyes close.

I close the door behind me before retreating to my office and calling Dr. Flynn:

Flynn: Christian, it's nice to hear from you.

Christian: Thank you for squeezing me in so late tonight.

Flynn: How is everything?

Christian: It's good (pause). Ana's been discharged from the hospital and is back at Escala with me.

Flynn: How do you feel about that?

Christian: I'm relieved (sigh). I expected her to initially fight me on staying here but she quickly recognized that she couldn't stay with Kate and didn't really have other options.

Flynn: Has she remembered more?

Christian: Some…little bits here and there. I kissed her in the hospital and she said it brought back several images of us kissing (laugh). She remembered seeing my mother at the holiday party she hosted at Campenelli's when Ana was working. The memories seem to be increasing which is a huge relief.

Flynn: But?

Christian: I'm nervous about telling her about Elena and my BDSM past. What if she leaves me again? What if this time she doesn't come back? I can't handle losing her again, Flynn.

Flynn: Christian, normally I would encourage you to be open and honest with her (pause). However, given everything Ana has been through lately it's probably not wise to tackle this topic until she builds more trust in you. However, if she remembers it you will need to be honest with her. Don't lie about it, tell her about your past, about what happened when you told her and about how the two of you decided to move forward.

Christian: Thank you (sigh). I was afraid you were going to tell me that I should tell her everything right now.

Flynn: Normally, I would but I don't think that would be best for Ana right now. But remember what I said, if she starts remembering you will need to be honest with her. When the times comes I will be happy to have a joint session with you both or meet with just her to process everything.

Christian: Thank you Flynn.

I disconnect the call and spend the next couple of hours sorting through the hundreds of emails that have come in over the last few days. I finalize a few reports before sending them out and review the financial statements of several of the companies under the GEH umbrella. I send an email to Ros asking her to look into one of the companies as their profit margin has been slowly decreasing over the last six months. If the profit margin does not begin turning around we will need to unload the company, it's not making enough to pay their overhead expenses. I review the latest financial statements for SIP and send an email to Andrea requesting she schedule a meeting in two week with the heads of the departments to discuss moving the company forward. I send an email to Barney requesting he prepare a report for that meeting outlining what is necessary to move SIP into the digital age along with a cost analysis. While I have been able to spend this week away from the office, looking at my schedule and my emails I know that I will need to go into the office at least a couple days next week. I'm hesitant to leave Ana but I know that in order to keep GEH performing as well as it has been I need to be in the office. She seems to be doing well and acclimating well to staying at Escala with me at least so far today. Gail will be here with Ana so it's not like she would be alone, I will speak to Gail early next week requesting that she check on Ana several times a day when I am at the office.

Shutting down my computer, I decide to check on Ana before retiring to my bedroom. It's so hard knowing that she is sleeping in the room next door and that I am going to be sleeping entire floor above her. I want so badly to sleep with her but I know I need to do this at her pace. I find myself constantly having to remember that to her I am a virtual stranger so we need to take things slow. When I first met Ana we took things very slow, opening up to each other fully before we made love for the first time. Ever since New Year's Eve, I can't seem to get enough of her. Being intimate with her just made everything better, it made me feel whole again, it made me feel loved. It's only been a few days since the last time we were together but with everything going on right now and Ana's memory loss I am desperate need of that connection with her again. I know I need to be patient, as I remind myself that this is not about me-this is about her right now. I use the bathroom before going through the door that connects to Ana's bedroom to check on her.

"Ana?" I ask walking into the room seeing that she is awake in her bed. "Are you okay?"

"I can't sleep" she answers.

"Are you in pain? Do you need anything?" I ask.

"I feel fine…I just can't sleep" she admits. "Would you mind lying with me until I can fall asleep?"

"Of course," my heart swells at this simple request.

I slip out of my jeans and climb in bed next to her. She immediately moves closer to me, resting her head on my chest. This bed is much bigger than her hospital bed however I find us laying just as close to each other as we did in that bed. This time though Ana is not restricted by monitors and her leg is not elevated off the bed. Within minutes of me coming to bed with her I realize Ana has fallen asleep. For a brief moment I consider leaving and sleeping in my own bed upstairs but quickly dismiss the idea. I fall asleep moments later with Ana in my arms.

**Ana's POV:**

I wake up early the next morning feeling hot; I look around the room momentarily forgetting that I am no longer in the hospital and in Christian's apartment. Christian is sleeping soundly next to me with his arm wrapped around my shoulders hugging me close to him. I remember asking him last night to lay with me until I fell asleep; I couldn't sleep before he came to bed with me no matter how hard I tried. Once Christian was next to me I immediately fell asleep; it was as if my body needed him next to me to sleep. He told me I've slept over several times, so maybe on some level my body remembers that even if my mind doesn't.

"Good Morning" Christian greets me.

"Morning" I say looking up at him.

Our eyes meet and everything changes. I can see how much he loves me in this moment and I am shocked by this revelation. He told me many times that he is in love with me but seeing his eyes now just confirms everything. Unsure what to do or say, I gently move closer to his head and my place my lips against his. He moans quietly, likely at the surprise of my boldness and I decide to take advantage of this running my tongue along his lips. His arms pull me closer to him, I find myself wanting to pull him closer to me but in this position my uninjured arm is under me so I can't. His other hand is on my hip pressing his entire body again mine as our tongues explore each other's mouths.

"God, I've missed this so much Ana" he whispers momentarily pulling away.

Not knowing what to say, because I can't honestly say I miss this since I don't remember it I kiss him deeply again. There is something about this kiss today that is different; it's as if I can feel all the feelings he has for me in the kiss. In what is probably a very unattractive move, I boldly lift my injured leg up placing it over his legs bringing him even closer to me. This position is not uncomfortable or painful for me and Christian doesn't seem to mind as his hand runs up and down my side, gently over my hip and to my thigh. He hands are careful never to touch my lower back and I'm thankful for that as I'm sure it would ruin the moment. His hand finds my breast through my silk gown and instantly my nipple hardens at his touch. I gasp into his mouth as I feel his erection against my sex; I am instantly turned on and find myself craving his touch. My hips involuntary rock against his erection wanting more, needing more from him as his fingers continue pinching and rubbing my nipple.

"Hmmmmmmmm" I whimper as his hand suddenly leaves my breast.

My disappointment is short lived as I feel his hand inching up my leg under my nightgown. He pulls away from me briefly just as his hand finds my sex, his eyes seeking permission before going any further. I nod my head slightly before kissing him passionately and as he pulls my underwear to the side running his fingers through my sex. I so desperately want to touch him, I manage to maneuver my uninjured arm between and in a moment of confidence find his erection through his boxers. He gasps into my mouth as his hips thrust his erection against my hand. Motivated by his reaction, I move my hand into his underwear grasping his bare erection shocked at how large he is. I have no frame of reference of course, but my God he feels huge!

"Ana…" Christian says breathless. "Are you okay? Is this okay?"

"I'm fine Christian" I reassure him as his lips once again find mine.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as his finger enters my core.

He slowly moves his finger in and out of me, applying the slightest amount of pressure to my clit with his thumb as I continue to stroke his rock hard erection. The sensations going through my body right now are overwhelming and I feel the orgasm building deep inside of me. Christian moans when I grasp his erection harder as the orgasm finally comes within reach.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as another finger pushes into me. "Oh God!"

Christian's fingers begin moving in and out of me at a much faster pace now, a pace I try to mimic with his erection. We are both breathing heavy, moaning loudly as our needs quickly become known.

"I'm so close….don't stop Ana!" he whispers into my ear before nipping at it.

"Oh God!" I scream as his fingers curl deep inside of me hitting a magical spot.

"ANA!" Christian yells as he comes all over my hand.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Christian!" I come hard and loud as Christian continues to stroke that ever sensitive spot deep inside me.

Christian gently removes his fingers from me and I immediately feel empty, missing his touch. He kisses me deeply before getting up from the bed and going into the bathroom. He returns with a warm washcloth and gently wipes the evidence of his arousal off my hand as I blush. He places the washcloth on the floor before climbing back into bed with me pulling me close to him again.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'm fine" I smile.

"I didn't hurt you at all did I?" he asks.

"No, not at all" I blush. "Christian?"

"Hmmmmm?" he says.

"Has it always been like this with us?" I ask.

"If you mean so passionate, so full of emotion, so desperate…yes" he laughs. "And it's only ever been this way with you."

"Oh" I blush.

"How about some breakfast? Are you hungry?" Christian asks a few minutes later.

"I am" I admit. "But I should probably use the bathroom and put some clothes on first."

"I will get your chair" he says kissing me before getting out of bed.

I easily move myself from the bed to the chair before moving the chair into the bathroom. I leave the door slightly ajar like last night just in case as I'm not very steady with the cane yet. I am thankful that Christian arranged for this chair to be delivered, it allows me to not rely on Christian or someone else to move me from room to room. With the regular wheelchair there is now way I would be able to move it myself since you need to hands to move around, unless you just want to move in a circle. I use the bathroom and brush my teeth as quickly as possible before returning to my chair.

"I picked out some clothes for you" Christian gestures to the bed. "Taylor had my personal shopper send over items that could easily be worn over a cast which seems to be mostly dresses and skirts. I will keep the heat up in the apartment so you stay warm and there's a fireplace in the great room that you can control the temperature of."

"It's fine Christian" I smile, appreciative that he thought of all these little things.

Christian helps me change into a sun dress which goes on very easily over both casts though isn't necessary the most appropriate thing for winter. With my arm in a cast I can't really wear long sleeve tops and obviously can't wear pants so my selection is limited. I find myself less embarrassed with Christian helping me undress this morning than I was last night…of course that probably has something to do with our impromptu make out session this morning.

As we sit down for breakfast, a memory comes back catching by surprise as they typically do. It's literally as if I am picked up from the moment I'm in and transported to wherever and whenever this memory is from. I'm watching the memory as an observer though, not as myself in the memory which is weird. I'm suddenly watching myself and Christian sitting on a dock watching boats coming in and out of the area. I see Christian staring at me while I watch the water, oblivious to the fact that he is staring at me intently. I see his mouth moving as he must say something to me and we are quickly kissing passionately, our hands pulling each other closer. It's the similar image to the one I just had with Christian in my bed, we are so into each other it's as if we can't get enough.

"Ana?" Christian asks pulling me from my memory.

"Sorry…" I apologize.

"Where were you?" he asks.

"On a dock somewhere….sitting with you" I describe.

"Oh, that was after our first dinner date" he recalls. "We had dinner at the Harbor View Inn, afterwards we walked down the pier to watch the boats."

"Good Morning Christian, Ana" Grace walks in as we finish breakfast.

"Morning Mom" Christian kisses Grace on the cheek.

"Good Morning" I greet her.

"I just stopped in on my way to the hospital to see how you feeling Ana?" Grace asks.

"I'm feeling pretty good actually" I smile.

"Any trouble sleeping last night? Sometimes the pain can be worse at night" she asks.

"No, I slept well" I answer looking at Christian.

"Any progress on your short term memory coming back?" she asks.

"Some…it's very random but it seems to be slowly coming back. I remembered meeting you at the restaurant when you had a holiday dinner there. And Christian just told me I remembered our first dinner date" I smile.

"That's wonderful progress Ana…I know it's hard but whatever you're doing keep it up because it seems to be working" she smiles before leaving.

The rest of the day is uneventful and actually very relaxing. Christian spends several hours in his office but he brought me down some books from his library for me to read while he is busy. I immediately curl up on the couch near the fireplace in the great room and dive into the books. I can't remember the last time I could just sit and read a book, between school and work it's been a long time since I've had free time.

That night Christian once again sleeps with me in my bedroom and this time I immediately fall asleep. Although I still don't remember everything, I can see why I would have fallen so hard and so fast for Christian. It's hard not to fall in love with this beautiful man who has been nothing but patient with me and rearranged his entire life just to take care of me this week.


	33. Chapter 33

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting...real life got in the way. This is a little shorter than I had hoped but I'm working on the next chapter and wanted to get this one out soon.

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 33 APOV:**

"I was thinking of inviting Elliot and Kate over for dinner tonight if you feel up to it?" Christian asks over breakfast a couple days later.

"That would be nice" I agree.

Christian texts Elliot who immediately replies and confirms they will come to dinner tonight. We plan a menu for dinner tonight with Gail which just doing this is odd to me. If I were to have invited them over I would have gone shopping or made something in the freezer but of course Christian being Christian goes all out for dinner guests. Gail plans a wonderful menu complete with drinks and desert; I would love to help her in the kitchen but being confined to a wheelchair makes cooking impossible. I haven't seen Kate since I was released from the hospital as she has been working on several projects for the school newspaper. Luckily it seems Christian picked a good night because Elliot confirmed that Kate would be able to come as well.

"I was thinking of taking you on a tour of the upstairs if you would like. The library is up there, a few spare bedrooms and of course my bedroom" Christian asks as we lounge in the great room.

"I would like that" I smile.

"Then I thought we would figure out how these shower cast cover things that Taylor ordered work and see about getting you into a bathtub as I'm sure you are dying for a real bath" Christian laughs.

"Sure" I say quietly immediately thinking this means he has to see me completely naked.

I know my fear is irrational because Christian has already seen all my scars, but since I can't remember that it will be like seeing them for the first time. I can't go without a bath until the casts come off and it's not safe for me to even try by myself so I'm going to need to just deal with it. Christian and I have become very close over the last couple of days; he is constantly kissing me or holding my hand. He has slept next to me every night which has made it much easier to fall asleep. I'm pulled from my thoughts when I hear Christian asking Taylor to bring the regular wheelchair to the top of the stairs.

"Ready?" He gently lifts me off the couch.

"Yes" I wrap my uninjured arm around his neck.

Christian gently carries me as if I weigh nothing up the steps before gently setting me in the manual wheelchair that Taylor set up for us. Christian shows me several guest rooms, which are pretty much all the same. Each room is painted the same as the hallways, and most of the house, a plain white I realize. The only difference between each guest room is the color of the bedding in each room; I can't fathom what someone would do with all these guest rooms. Christian's family seems to live nearby, Gail and Taylor have their own apartment connected to Christian's so why all these rooms? I'm pulled from my thoughts as Christian brings me into a very large library. The walls are covered with floor to ceiling shelves with more books than I could ever consider owning. There is a large desk near the window which has a beautiful view of the city. There are two large loveseats that I can easily see myself curling up in and reading a book. The room is warm and inviting, full of comforting colors; very much the opposite of most of Christian's apartment.

"Christian this is beautiful" I say in aw.

"Anytime you want to come up here I will be glad to bring you" Christian smiles. "You can take books from here to keep in your room if you want."

"I might just do that, I could get lost in here with all these books" I giggle.

Christian leads me down the hall further, pointing out a bathroom before we reach his bedroom. He takes a deep breath before opening the door and gently pushing me inside. I vaguely hear him shut the door but as soon as I see the bed I'm flooded with memories. I see us in bed together, clearly intimate; his hands all over by body. I gasp while watching the scene before me; I'm on my hands and knees on the bed, Christian is behind me and his hands are all over my back. In another scene, I'm on top of Christian, his hands again on my lower back. Several scenes are of us sleeping, sometimes in the nude but always in each other's arms. I'm in shock seeing us that close, seeing his hands all of me, his arms wrapped around and seeing that I was comfortable with it.

"Ana?" Christian pulls me from my memory.

"Sorry" I blush.

"Where were you?" He asks.

"There" I gesture to the bed and feel my face blush deeply.

"Oh" he smiles. "We have a lot of great memories there."

He wheels me into an obscenely large bathroom; this room is easily half the size of Kate's apartment. There is a large soaking bathtub, a shower with dual shower heads and a double sink. Just like when we walked into the bedroom, memories immediately flood my mind. Images flash before me quickly, all of us in the shower. In some of the scenes were are simply taking a shower together, while in others we are clearly being intimate together. I blush at the one scene of me on my knees in front of Christian but at the same time I am surprised at my boldness with him.

"Ana?" Christian pulls me from the erotic scene in front of me.

"The shower" I whisper, my face feels red hot.

"Probably just as many memories there as in the bedroom" Christian laughs.

Christian begins getting the bath water ready, adding a sweet smelling oil to it. The smell must trigger something because another memory quickly comes of Christian simply soaking in the tub with me. He seems to be comforting me as he rubs my shoulders and I look like I'm staring into space. I can't help but wonder if we had a fight or disagreement about something?

"I should have brought you up here sooner if I knew it was going to trigger so many memories" he interrupts my thoughts.

"We were taking a bath together" I explain. "But it looked like I was upset or mad."

"Hmmmm" Christian pauses. "Oh, I think that was after a nightmare you had. You had a really bad nightmare when you were here and I wasn't sure what to do once you woke up so I brought you into the bathroom and ran you a bath. You were pretty out of it from the nightmare so the only way I could get you into the tub was to literally pick you up and put you in there which of course I had to do from inside the tub or I would have dropped you."

"Oh, that makes sense" I sigh. "Nightmares can really do a number on me, depending on how long I get trapped in for."

"I know you don't remember, but I have had my share of nightmares too many of which you have witnessed. I think it's one of the things that makes our connection stronger. Before I would always worry about someone seeing my nightmares but with you…" He says.

"I was the same" I interrupt. "I never wanted anyone to see them, I was afraid they would ask questions."

"You never asked about my nightmare which was one thing I was always grateful for" Christian says kissing my cheek.

Christian reads through the instructions on the cast wraps that Taylor arranged to have delivered and easily attached the one to my leg. He undressed me before applying the one on my arm as we weren't sure if it would impact getting the dress on and off. Once he attaches the cast cover to my arm, he turns off the water and sets out several towels all while I sit naked in the chair. I am at least able to cover my chest with my arms but there is little I can do about the rest of my body.

"I'm trying to think of the best way to do this without injuring you" Christian takes a deep breath. "I think I'm going to sit you on the edge of tub, on the step there and then I will climb into the tub and ease you in. We should be able to do the same thing to get out but I will lay towels down so you don't slip."

"Okay" I say quietly.

Christian lifts me out of the chair and gently places me on the top step of the bathtub. He removes his pants but leaves his boxer briefs and shift on. He climbs into the tub, gently lifting me into the water. As he puts me down, his hand runs over my lower back and I gasp in surprise-the panic never set it. He doesn't acknowledge it, he might not even realize he touched me there but I'm left stunned at my lack of response. I'm left wondering if this is a fluke thing or if on some level my subconscious remembers his touch.

"I'm going to leave the door open, but I will be in my bedroom" Christian says slowly leaving the room.

I soak in this amazing tub for what feels like hours. My body feels weightless in here; I'm able to move more freely and stretch which is not always possible in the chair. I think back over everything that has happened in the last week, from the accident to waking up with this strange man sitting next to my hospital bed to now living with him. I see the love he feels for me every time he looks at me and I find myself easily falling for him again.

"Would you like me to wash your hair?" Christian pulls me from my thoughts.

"Please" I ask.

"Can you sit up?" He asks me.

With Christian's help, I pull myself into a sitting position and he takes the hand shower gently wetting my hair. He gently washes my hair, massaging my scalp with the shampoo and conditioner which I quickly realize is the brand I always used. This is just a subtle confirmation of how close we were and how much time I spent here. After my hair is washed, Christian gently lifts me onto the bath step which he has now covered in a thick towel.

"I'm going to put you on my bed to get dressed and take the cast covers off" He carries me out of the bathroom.

"Okay, wherever is easiest" I agree.

"Shit!" he exclaims.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I forgot your clothes downstairs" he says.

"That's okay, I'll wait here" I reply.

"Will you be okay? I can ask Gail or Taylor to bring something up" Christian's eyes are full of concern.

"Christian I will be fine, I promise" I assure him.

"I'll be right back" Christian vows.

I lay back on Christian's bed, enjoying the comfort of the soft pillows and warm blankets. I must have closed my eyes because when I open them Christian is lying beside me in the bed.

"Oh, sorry" I blush.

"That's okay, you must have been tired" he says.

"I guess I was" I giggle.

"I brought you some clothes; I'll get these cast covers off, dry you and then we can get you dressed" Christian says.

"Okay" I agree quietly.

Christian takes the cast cover off my arm and leg with no problems; he confirms they were a success after inspecting the casts finding that neither of them are wet. Christian uses an extra towel to dry off my still damp skin, gently moving the towel around me which I realize is no longer securely wrapped around me. Christian gently unwraps the now lose towel from around my chest, exposing my entire body to him. He takes the spare towel and gently rubs me dry, however in the process I find myself becoming incredibly turned on as his fingers occasionally touch my bare skin. I try to pull my thighs together as Christian gets closer to my sex, but I'm not fast enough and his fingers just barely rub against my clit as he dries off my stomach and thighs.

"Hmmmmm" A moan escapes me.

I close my eyes in embarrassment just as Christian moves the towel to my uninjured leg, starting at the bottom, working his way to my hip drying me completely. This time his fingers find the apex of my thighs and they linger there, gently rubbing my folds before bringing some of the moisture now coating his fingers to my clit. I gasp at this sudden touch, opening my eyes moments before his lips find mine. He gently kisses me at first, almost as if he is seeking permission to take the kiss to the next level. His fingers continue to explore my sex, rubbing my clit each time he passes by it; I can feel how wet I am by his touch. As the need takes over, I boldly slip my tongue into his mouth causing him to moan in surprise. Christian lays down next to me, his leg on top of my uninjured one, gently pulling my legs apart so I am more open to him.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he slips a finger into me.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as Christian's lips find my nipple and he sucks on me hard.

Christian's mouth continues its assault on my nipples as his finger continues to plunge in and out of my wet sex. I whimper when his mouth leaves my breasts, but I'm quickly rewarded when his mouth finds my sex. His tongue explores my clit, my folds and even joins his finger inside of me as I moan and squirm in pleasure. I'm on the edge of an orgasm, it's within reach but for some reason I find myself needing more.

"Oh God!" I scream as he thrusts another finger inside of me while sucking on my clit hard.

I'm so close yet the orgasm is just out of reach. His fingers continue to thrust inside of me, hitting that magical spot every time.

"Christian!" I scream in agony.

"Come for me baby….I've missed your taste" Christian latches back onto my clit sucking it hard.

"CHRISTIAN!" I scream his name loudly as the orgasm rips through me.

Christian's mouth moves from my clit to my core, where he pulls me close to him as his tongue brings all my juices into his mouth. His thumb continues to rub my clit, prolonging the orgasm even further. I am too shocked at the intensity of the orgasm to be embarrassed. I'm a little confused that once he told me to come I was able to when up until then I hadn't been able to achieve the orgasm on my own. Christian's mouth doesn't let up; he continues to thrust his tongue in and out of me, searching for any juices that might be left. He lifts my uninjured leg up, bending my knee giving him more access to me.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as his mouth returns to my clit.

Very quickly, I find the orgasm building again shocking me that my body is capable of responding so quickly again. Christian must sense that I am on edge again as his fingers pinch my nipples while his mouth explores my sex, sucking on my clit, nibbling on my folds and sucking my folds.

"Hold your leg" he moves my uninjured hand to under my knee where his hand just was.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as his finger enters me deeply.

Overwhelmed by the feelings, I let go of my leg resting it on his back and instead grab hold of Christian's hair pulling him close to me. Once again, the orgasm quickly builds and my body is on teetering on the edge. I had heard of multiple orgasms but obviously never experienced it myself; or maybe I have with Christian and just don't remember?

"Oh God!" I scream as Christian pinches my nipple while continuing his attack on my sex. "Please Christian….I'm so close."

"Come baby" he commands.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream as my second orgasm in minutes rip through me after hearing Christian's voice.

Christian's mouth moves to my core, his tongue replacing his fingers to once again access all the juices of my orgasm. He slowly kisses my entire body until he reaches my mouth; his lips crushing mine, his tongue finding mine. I can taste myself in his kiss, as I try to pull away from the unexpected taste Christian holds my head firmly against his as his tongue explores my mouth. I'm vaguely aware that I'm lying completely naked on a towel in front of this gorgeous man but after the two intense orgasms I just had I find myself not as concerned with this realization. Christian's hands continue to explore my body, as if he is feeling me for the first time again.

"Wow" I say as he pulls away and lays next to me on the bed.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that" he smiles before kissing me.

"That was intense" I sigh.

"With you it always is" he confirms.

With little embarrassment, Christian helps me get dressed and back into the standard wheelchair. He gathers all the towels we used, which looks like almost a dozen and puts them in a pile on the floor along with my dirty clothes. I felt weird just sitting there watching him clean up but even if I could help I know he wouldn't let me if I offered. There's no possible way that I could help him anyway.

"Would you mind if we stopped at the library before we go back downstairs? I want to bring a few books down to my room" I ask.

"Of course" Christian responds quickly.

We spend the next hour in the library, Christian spending most of the time running up and down the ladders attached to the shelves finding the books I request. He had all the books organized by author so they are relatively easy to find, however I kept thinking of books to read so I had him running all over the room. Before I know it, Christian has a relatively large pile on the desk of books I requested.

"I'll have Taylor bring them down to your room" Christian says.

"Maybe only half of them for now" I laugh.

"I had a feeling this would happen which is why there is an empty book shelf in your room" Christian explains. "Taylor will bring them all down, when you read through them you can get more."

"If it's not too much trouble" I say.

"You're never any trouble Ana" he carries me down the steps, gently returning me to the electric wheelchair which was conveniently waiting at the bottom of the steps.

"I don't know about that Christian" I sigh. "I've practically turned your entire apartment upside, you've missed so much at work…"

"Ana, baby…where is this coming from?" he kneels down at my chair.

"I don't know" I pause. "I feel like you are giving up so much for me yet you are getting nothing in return. I barely remember our time together and when I do they are brief flashes…."

"I'm getting more in return than you will ever know" he lifts me from the chair, placing me on his lap in the great room. "Before you came into my life, my world revolved around work. I spent little time with my family and if I wasn't working at the office I was working here. I never hugged my parents, or really anyone for that matter, until you came along. You gave me hope; hope that my future would be more than just running a business. For the first time in my life, my company wasn't enough. When I thought I lost you that night….my world stopped. I would have given everything up that night for you to be okay. The company, the money, the apartment…it's all nothing if I don't have you in my life. This" he motions between us "this is a bump in our road, we will get through this and will be stronger than before."

"Oh Christian…" I hug him tightly, my eyes filling with tears at his words.

"I love you Ana, with everything in me I love you" Christian whispers.

"I think I'm falling for you again" I whisper back.

Christian's lips immediately find mine at my revelation; his arms wrap around me tightly as if he never wants to let me go. I know in this very moment that even if all my memories don't return I will love Christian again and probably one day very soon.


	34. Chapter 34

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 34 APOV:**

"Ana?" Christian says over dinner a few days later.

"Hmmm?" I ask.

"I need to go into the office for a few hours tomorrow" he sighs. "I'm really sorry…I was hoping to stay home a few more days-"

"Christian" I interrupt. "It's okay. I understand; I knew you would eventually have to go back to work."

"I don't like the idea of leaving you" he squeezes my hand.

"I'll be fine" I promise.

"Sawyer and Gail will both be here all day but if you need me I can easily come home" he says.

"Christian, I promise everything will be fine" I assure him.

"Maybe you can come to the office with me" he suggests.

"Christian, I can't come with you every day" I laugh. "I will be fine here; everything I need is on this floor so there won't be any problems."

"True" he sighs.

"Try not to worry" I kiss him on the cheek.

"Oh, I have something for you" Christian says quickly leaving the room and returning with a large flat box.

"What's this?" I ask.

"It was your Valentine's Day present" he hands me the box. "We were supposed to go to Aspen and I was going to give you this there."

"We were going to Aspen?" I ask surprised.

"Yes, the weekend after your accident" he answers sadly.

"Maybe we can reschedule the trip" I say.

"Already planning it" he smiles.

I open the box and find a brand new Apple laptop computer.

"Christian! This is too much!" I exclaim.

"Nonsense" he said. "You need a computer for your school work."

"Before the accident I managed to get through almost four years of school without one" I shake my head.

"True, but you don't need to" he says.

"Christian, I can't accept this it's way too much" I whine.

"Ana, it's not too much really. It's something you need, it will make applying for jobs easier and for now working on your work study projects" he says.

"I'm going to consider this a loan, I can't accept a gift that costs this much" I say.

"Fine…" he agrees reluctantly. "It's on loan indefinitely."

"Agreed" I pause.

"What is it?" Christian asks concerned.

"I don't know what I got you for Valentine's Day" I answer sadly.

"It's fine Ana, really just having you here with me is enough" he says.

"I just wish I could remember everything" I say in frustration.

"You will Ana" Christian sighs. "Look at how much you've remembered since the accident."

"But look at how much I can't remember" I say angrily.

"Shhhhh baby it's okay" Christian lifts me from the chair.

Christian carries me into the great room, sitting me on his lap on the couch. He wraps his arms around me, holding me closely. I put my head on his shoulder and sigh in frustration; I wish I could remember everything especially what Christian and I shared. Although I find myself falling for Christian again, I can't help but feel like I'm missing something, that there's a piece of our history that I need to remember to move forward, but I don't know what it is. We sit like this for I don't know how long before I feel Christian rubbing small circles on my back. It's only at this time do I realize his arms were wrapped around my lower back; how have I not realized this before now? I gasp in shock.

"Ana? Are you okay?" he asks his eyes full of concern.

"Your arms…"I whisper. "You're touching my back."

"Oh God, I'm sorry…"Christian says quickly moving his arms.

"I didn't realize you were touching me" I say in shock.

"Shhhhhhhh" Christian says carrying me into my bedroom.

"How did I not realize your arms were on my back?" I ask, still in shock.

"Because you trust me" he whispers holding me close to him. "You may not remember everything, but I think your body at least knows it can trust me. I will never hurt you Ana."

I pull Christian closer to me, needing to feel his body against mine. He slips out of his clothes before reaching over to turn off the light as I cuddle next to him. I rest my head on his chest, my injured leg lays between us and my arm rests on his stomach. He wraps his arm around my shoulders holding close to him, kissing my head before whispering that he loves me. We quickly fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

"Noooooooooooooo" a moan wakes me suddenly.

I feel Christian moving against me, we were still in the same position in which we fell asleep in. He continues to whimper and moan against me, clearly in the midst of a nightmare.

"Christian!" I call his name but get no response.

I run my hand up and down his chest, his stomach and press my body against his. When he had a nightmare in the hospital he said it was my touch that brought him out of it so I'm hoping what he said then was true. I'm as close to him as I could possibly get, holding him against me when I finally feel his body start to calm down. He continues to whimper, occasionally mumbling words that I struggle to understand.

"STOP!" He screams suddenly, thrashing against me again.

"CHRISTIAN!" I say louder but still get no response.

I pull him towards me, forcing him onto his side as I wrap my leg around his waist and push myself closer to him. He continues to whimper but doesn't struggle against me. Becoming braver, I pull his face to mine and kiss him gently on the lips. Immediately the whimper and moans stop and I can feel his body relax against mine. His arm wraps around my waist, anchoring me to him but he doesn't seem to wake up. I hear his breathing slow down and I realize his nightmare must have ended as his body full relaxes against mine. As I try to fall back to sleep, I notice once again his arm is on my lower back which doesn't trigger anything with me. I am truly stunned that he has touched me several times on my back in the last couple of days and I haven't freaked out. Maybe he was right, maybe on some level my body remembers his touch and knows that he won't hurt me.

I wake the next morning in the same position we fell asleep in after Christian's nightmare. I try to move but his arm, which is still wrapped around my waist, pulls me closer to him. This subtle move pushes me against his hard erection; my sundress must have bunched up during the night because he is against my silk panties. I try to move away but he continues to hold me close to him; his erection rubs against my sex and his lips suddenly find mine. I gasp in surprise and he takes this opportunity to thrust his tongue into my mouth, he holds me tightly against him and I feel his erection twitch against me.

"Morning" he says.

"I think someone is happy to see me" I say blushing.

"How could I not be with you wrapped around me" he smiles gently moving himself against me.

"Hmmmmmmm" I moan at the continued sensations.

"I should probably get ready for work" he moans before kissing me deeply again.

"Stay" I suck on his lips.

"Hmmmmmmmm" he moans as I gently rock my hips against him as the need rises. "Ana….If I stay here much longer I won't want to stop."

"Then don't" I whisper.

"Oh baby" he sighs. "I don't want to hurt you…I don't want to rush you. This can wait until you're better, until you remember more if you want."

"Christian…I want you to make love to me" I say against his lips. "I want to experience the connection I see in my memories."

"Ana…baby…are you sure?" he pulls away so he could look at me.

"I'm sure Christian" I assure him. "Please, love me."

His lips crush mine, his arms pulling me close and I can feel how much he wants me as he continues to rub himself against my sex. I feel my panties getting wetter by the minute and moan as his hand finds my breast, my nipple quickly hardening by his touch. I gently try to pull his underwear down with one hand, which proves more difficult than I thought but he quickly comes to my rescue and pushes them down freeing his erection in the process. He quickly removes my sundress before his mouth attacks mine again as his hand roams over my entire body. His lips leave mine, leaving light kisses all over my skin as he makes his way down my stomach. My breath hitches as he plants a kiss on my sex through my underwear, gently nipping me before he slowly pulls my panties down. His mouth returns to my sex, kissing me deeply, I feel his tongue on my folds and my clit as I moan loudly. He sucks gently on my clit, his tongue flicking across it and I feel the excitement gushing from my core.

"Christian…" I moan.

"You taste so good baby" his tongue circles my opening teasing me further.

"I need you, please" I shamelessly beg, wanting to feel him inside of me.

"Are you sure Ana?" he asks his lips right above mine as he leans over me.

I answer by reaching between us, grasping his erection and guiding him to my opening. He looks at me as if asking for permission; I nod before pulling his lips to mine and opening my legs further granting him full access.

"Oh God!" I moan as he enters me.

"I've missed you so much Ana" he pushes into me further.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh" I moan as thrusts into to me completely.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah," I say breathlessly.

I feel so full; I knew Christian was large but my God he feels huge inside of me! He starts slowly moving and the feeling is beyond words. His mouth crushes mine, his tongue exploring me as my hands roam up and down his back before finally resting on his nice firm ass. I find myself trying to push him further into me, needing to feel him deeper as the orgasm builds.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan loudly finding myself on the edge.

"You feel amazing Ana…so tight, so hot" he moans. "I love the way you grip me when I'm inside of you."

"Ahhhhhhhh" his words practically send me over the edge but once again I find myself needing something.

Christian must sense I'm close as he increases his pace and intensity, nearly pulling all the way out before thrusting deeply inside of me. Each time he enters me, he hits a spot that intensifies everything so much. Our breathing is heavy, we are both moaning loudly and I can tell Christian is getting close to his own release. I'm so close, yet my body seems to defy me keeping me on the edge prolonging the wonderful feeling.

"Let go Ana, I want to feel you!" He screams and my body immediately complies.

"CHRISTIAN!" I scream as the orgasm rips through me, so much harder than the one a few days ago after my bath.

"ANA!" Christian screams as he pulls out of me, finding his release on my stomach.

He collapses next to me, kissing me passionately as our breathing finally returns to normal. That was so intense; the connection we had, the desperation, it was as if I could feel everything he felt for me through his body.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" He asks.

"No, I'm fine" I assure him.

"You're not still on the pill right?" He asks.

"No" I blush. "I was on the pill?"

"Yes, you had started it shortly after the first time we made love" He smiles.

"Oh" I whisper. "Maybe I have a refill at the pharmacy."

"I can call and check for you" he offers.

"I don't even know what pharmacy I used" I laugh.

"No worries, we can figure it out" he says. "The package is probably still in your bag, it should say there."

"What happened to my stuff after the accident?" I ask, realizing I would have been carrying at least a bag.

"The hospital gave it to us when you were admitted, I believe Taylor put it in my room" he answers.

"Oh," I say. "If you could find it, I'm sure I could get a refill."

"Are you sure?" he asks. "If you would rather I use condoms…"

"Did we use them before?" I ask.

"At first yes" he admits. "But then you surprised me by starting the pill. There was one time when we got caught up in the heat of the moment and didn't use a condom until after your first orgasm. I think it was in that moment we both realized how wonderful it felt to have that connection without a barrier in between us because it was a week or so later that you started the pill. Once you started it we never went back to condoms."

"You did feel pretty amazing just now" I blush and kiss him to hide my embarrassment.

"That's an understatement baby" He smiles and kisses me.

Christian uses a warm washcloth to clean me off before helping me get dressed for the day. The connection we just had was everything I had hoped it was. It felt just as strong now as it looked in the memories that I have had when we were intimate. Christian excuses himself to get ready for work after insuring I have everything I need. I make my way to the kitchen where Gail is already starting breakfast.

"Good Morning Ms. Steele" Gail greets me.

"Good Morning. Please call me Ana" I smile.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" she asks.

"I would, thank you" I agree. "Can I help you with breakfast?"

"I'm almost done, I just have the toast to prepare" she places the cup of tea on the breakfast bar where I'm sitting.

"If you move the toaster over here I can do that while you finish breakfast" I suggest.

"That's okay, I don't mind" she says.

"It's okay, I don't mind" I say wanting to be helpful.

"If you insist" she smiles moving the toaster and the bread to the breakfast bar.

By the time Christian comes down to the kitchen Gail and I are laughing hard; I swear she has me laughing so hard tears are running down my face.

"Did I miss something?" Christian says sitting next to me.

"No Mr. Grey" Gail says blushing.

"It seems you don't know how to cook" I giggle.

"Oh boy…what story did you tell her Gail?" Christian laughs.

"The one where you tried to microwave a can of chicken noodle soup" she admits.

"It sounded like a good idea at the time" he admits. "Who knew you can't microwave cans."

"Um everyone!" I laugh.

"Mr. Grey, Ana…I will be going to the market today for some groceries. Do either of you have anything specific you would like me to pick up?" Gail asks once we stop laughing.

"No" Christian says.

"I don't, but would you mind if I went along?" I ask.

"It's fine with me…Mr. Grey?" Gail defers to Christian.

"I don't know…" he sighs, his eyes full of concern.

"Please Christian" I beg. "I haven't left the apartment since I was released from the hospital. I haven't seen the outside in almost three weeks!"

"Sawyer must be with you at all times" he warns.

"Of course" I agree.

"You feel comfortable getting in and out of the car?" he asks.

"Yes" I smile.

"As long as Sawyer is with you it's fine" he agrees. "But if you start feeling tired or sore have him take you home immediately."

"I will" I hug him. "Thank you."

"Why don't we plan on going out for dinner Friday night? You're right you have been cooped up in here for a while" he suggests.

"Sure" I smile.

Christian leaves for work, but not before checking that I have everything I need several times and I end up having to push him out the door. He worries so much but really has nothing to worry about. I'm more comfortable transferring in and out of my chair than I was when I first came home from the hospital. I help Gail prepare her shopping list, taking inventory of the very large pantry that is off the kitchen. I swear it has more food in it to feed the four of us for weeks but Gail explains that as anything that is unopened approaches the expiration date it is donated to a local food bank so it is not wasted. Gail and I discuss the menu for the week, including ideas for her and I to have for lunch since Christian and Taylor will be at GEH at least most of the day. I ask her to add a few items to the list, but she has the majority of them already in the pantry.

"They sound like the ingredients for a chocolate cake" Gail says.

"It is…" I smile. "Would you mind helping me make it later this week?"

"Sure…I have almost everything you need" Gail agrees.

"Great, I hope Christian likes it" I say.

"He loves chocolate cake" she informs me.

"Oh perfect" I say.

Suddenly I see a flash of me making a chocolate cake in Kate's kitchen. I seem to be alone which is odd because if I were baking a cake I would assume Kate would have been there. I wonder how long I lived with Kate? I thought Christian said it was fairly recently…maybe I was making one when she was in classes or working on a project for the school paper. I'll have to ask Kate about it.

"Ana?" Gail snaps me from my memory.

"Sorry" I apologize.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"Oh, I'm fine…just a brief memory" I smile.

"I'm going to get changed and let Sawyer know we will leave after lunch if that works for you?"  
she asks.

"Sure" I say.

_Everything okay? –C_

_You've been gone for less than an hour __J__ -A _

_I know…I miss you –C_

_I miss you too –A_

_When are you going shopping? –C_

_After lunch –A_

_Stay close to Sawyer and Gail –C_

_Yes sir –A_

Christian must be busy because he doesn't respond to my last text; I can't help but smile at how far we have come. Although I was nervous at first, I'm glad I'm staying with Christian. I don't think we would be as close as we are now if I had insisted on staying with Kate or somewhere else. I've been remembering more and more every day, not only about Christian but about my friendship with Kate and the different places I've stayed before moving in with Kate. I've started to review the work study assignments my professors sent over, most are research papers which I don't expect to be too difficult to complete. I developed a schedule to work on each project for a certain time with a goal of having everything completed before graduation.

"Are you ready Ana?" Gail walks into the great room.

"Yes, I'm ready" I say.

"Sawyer is bringing the manual wheelchair down from the library for us to use" she says just as Sawyer walks in.

We arrive to the market with relative ease; since it's the middle of the day it is not crowded and Sawyer is able to get a parking spot fairly close to store. Since we did not bring the electric wheelchair, Sawyer pushes my chair through the parking lot and the store as Gail pushes a shopping cart. Gail and I review everything on her list and she adds a few items as we go through the store that she says are a good deal. I've never been in such a high end grocery store so to me the prices look very high compare to what I'm usually used to spending. Most items here are organic or indicate they are free of certain chemicals which I suppose is that is adding to the high cost. Although, most of these brands I've never heard of either.

"Sawyer, would you mind getting that jar from the top shelf?" Gail asks.

"Sure, ma'am" He says turning around.

"Ana, how nice to see you!" An older blond lady approaches me from the opposite end of the aisle.

"I'm sorry…." I say confused.

"Oh dear, I heard you were in an accident" She says.

"Excuse me…we need to be going" Sawyer interrupts us rudely.

"Be sure to tell Christian I send my lovely darling" she glares at Sawyer.

"Come Ana, let's finish our shopping" Gail says walking down the aisle quickly.

"Gail, who was that?" I ask once she is out of ear shot.

"Oh, ummmm…you should probably ask Mr. Grey about her" Gail mumbles.

I don't push the subject as a flash quickly takes over. I see myself yelling at the blond lady and suddenly throwing a drink on her. Why would I throw a drink on someone? I'm not a violent person; what could she have said to me that had me that angry? I see Christian yelling at her as well just before Grace enters the room and slaps her across the face.

"Ms. Steele…Ana?" Sawyer pulls me from the memory.

"I'm fine…" I say realizing we are in the middle of the grocery store and people are starting to stare.

"Do you want to go home Ana? I can come back another time" Gail offers.

"No, it's fine" I sigh. "Let's get everything on your list."

Sawyer finishes typing something on his phone as we resume our shopping. I can't get that lady out of my head; I can't fathom the idea that I was so mad that I threw a drink on someone. Why would Grace have gotten so upset that she slapped her? Grace seems like such a wonderful lady, I never would have thought she would slap someone like that had I not seen it. We quickly finish our shopping but I think Gail rushed through what was needed so we could leave the store as she kept looking back to check on me as we were going through the store.

"Ana are you okay?" Christian rushes to me as soon as the elevator doors at Escala open.

"Christian…why are you home early?" I ask confused.

"Sawyer told me what happened, I wanted to make sure you were okay" he bends down to hug me tightly.

"I'm okay….I have lots of questions but you didn't need to leave work early to come home Christian" I say.

"I know…come let's talk" he sighs wheeling me into the great room.

"Who was she?" I ask as we sit on the couch.

"Her name is Elena Lincoln, she was a close friend of my parents" he answers.

"Was?" I clarify.

"Yes, past tense" he says.

"I threw a drink on her?" I ask.

"Yes" he answers but doesn't elaborate.

"Your mom slapped her" I say, rather than ask.

"She did" Christian says sadly.

"Why? What happened that everyone was so mad?" I ask.

"We're going to need a drink for this conversation Ana" he leaves the room briefly before returning with a bottle of bourbon, a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Christian?" I ask worried.

"I've been dreading you remembering this again" he admits, taking a large gulp from his glass.

"You don't have to tell me" I say, but I know for us to move forward eventually he is going to need to tell me.

"No, I do" He says firmly. "Ana, what happened that night led to us spending several days apart from each other in which I thought I lost you. I'm scared to death that you will run when you hear this…again."

"Christian, I'm not going anywhere. I promise" I vow squeezing his hand tightly.

"Don't be so sure" he takes another drink. "The night you are remembering was Christmas day, you had come over for dinner at my parent's house. Elena had arrived unexpected; my mother asked her to join us for desert-"

"I made a cake" I remember.

"Yes, chocolate my favorite" he barely smiles. "You excused yourself to use the restroom, however you didn't come back for a while. I went searching for you only to find Elena yelling at you; she called you a gold digging whore-"

"Which is when I threw the drink on her" I say remembering the conversation now.

"Yes" he pauses.

"She kept saying I wouldn't be able to meet your needs…." I recall the conversation. "Oh my god, you slept with her."

"It was a long time ago, but yes" he admits sadly.

"She told me how you like to….fuck women…how she taught you to fuck women" I pale. "You admitted that she taught you how to fuck…that's when your mom slapped her."

"Yes" he admits.

"You and her….You're into BDSM?" I whisper.

"Not any longer, no" he looks me in the eye so I can see he isn't lying. "For a long time, I was yes."

"Oh…I…" I stutter speechless.

"Please Ana…please listen to me" he begs. "That is not who I am, not anymore."

"Did you and I….tell me we didn't?" I can't even say the words.

"No! I was done with that lifestyle before I met you" he assures me.

"I think I need another glass of wine" I finish the wine in my glass.

We both sit for a long time in silence, I don't know what to say. Obviously this is not new information; Christian says he told me all this before and that it almost ruined our relationship. I can see why now; there is no way in hell I would ever be involved in that lifestyle. I could never let someone willingly beat me…not after Stephen….

"Please Ana talk to me" he begs.

"I don't know what to say" I admit. "I could never be that person-"

"I never wanted you as a sub Ana, you were never that to me" he states.

"You used to punish women who broke your rules?" I ask.

"Yes, but they wanted it" he says.

"They wanted it?" I smirk.

"Yes…I know to you this doesn't make sense" he pauses. "With every woman we had a contract stating what she would and would not do. The rules were outlined in the contract as were the punishments. She had to agree to the punishments."

"And if she didn't agree to it?" I ask.

"Punishments are a part of the lifestyle, so she would agree to some sort of punishment. She might not want a cane but would agree to belt" he explains.

"Oh God" I say in shock.

"Ana, every sub had a safe word that they could use at any time" he says.

"A safe word?" I clarify.

"It's a word that would stop everything…once a sub says that word the entire scene stops including any and all punishments" he explains.

"So she would really want to be punished?" I ask not understanding why someone would willingly get beat with a belt or a cane.

"Yes" he sighs. "I know it's hard for you to understand…well given everything you have been through. But it's about control; most subs want to give up control. They like the idea of having someone take control of them in the bedroom, to have all of their needs met."

"What did you get out of it?" I ask.

"Control" he says simply. "I told you that before I met you, no one touched my chest or my back right?" I nod. "Can you imagine how difficult it would be to have sex without someone touching you there?"

"That's why I didn't….well before you" I blush.

"I would restrain the women during a scene so they wouldn't touch me" he explains.

"They liked to be tied up?" I ask surprised.

"Yes" he smiles. "It can be a turn on, not being able to touch your partner and letting them do whatever they want to your body."

"Oh" I say, trying to ignore the wetness in my underwear as I imagine this. "Did you ever restrain me?"

"No" he answers quickly. "We have not experimented in the bedroom, although we could if that's something that appeals to you."

"And if it didn't?" I ask concerned.

"I told you before, I will take you anyway I can have you" he kisses me gently. "If you were to tell me you never wanted to use any toys, restrains or anything in the bedroom I would be fine. If you were to tell me you wanted to try out toys or restrains, I would be fine with that too."

"Do you miss it?" I ask.

"BDSM?" he clarifies.

"Yes" I answer.

"No" he says quickly. "For a long time I thought it met my needs; I was able to have sex with no emotion and there was no risk of someone touching my chest and back. Before I met you though I began to realize it wasn't enough, I actually found myself wanting an emotional connection to a woman. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew I would never see you as a sub."

"Mr. Grey, Ana" Gail interrupts us.

"Yes Gail?" Christian asks.

"Dinner is served when you are ready" she leaves the room.

"How about we eat and continue this conversation?" Christian asks.

"Sure" I answer.

We eat in silence, neither of us knowing what to say. I'm trying to understand everything Christian has just told me, trying to wrap my head around the person he is describing. It sounds the complete opposite of the Christian who has been with me since I woke up in the hospital. I'm relieved that he told me that him and I were never involved in that…that type of activity. I don't think I would have believed him if he told me I let him beat me before he fucked me. I could see how he said this almost ended us before, as I struggle to see how he could give up this lifestyle. What if he needed it again? What if this stop was only temporary?

"Ana, I see the wheels turning in your head" he says as we return to the great room with our drinks refilled.

"I'm trying to make sense of it all" I admit.

"What are you thinking? Talk to me baby" he begs.

"How do you know you won't miss it later? What if I'm not enough?" my eyes fill with tears.

"Baby, I promise you…." He pulls me onto his lap. "You are everything I will ever need. You are everything I didn't even know I wanted. I will never want to return what I did before, I promise you that."

"Because…I could never…Christian you have to know that punishments…" I stutter trying to figure out how to word it.

"I would never punish you" he assures me. "I will never give you a list of rules that you need to follow and then punish you if you don't. I will never hit you."

"Good" I sigh in relief.

"Do you have any other questions?" he asks.

"Tell me what happened after your mom slapped her" I request.

"Taylor escorted her out before taking you home. I needed to come clean to my parents about everything that had happened and you told me you needed time" he smiles softly. "The next few days were hell. I sent you flowers, you thanked me but still said you needed more time. I thought I was losing you, I stopped eating, stopped working, barely drank…I was a mess."

"What happened?" I ask shocked, I can't picture the strong man holding me losing it like that.

"Days went by; we didn't talk. I tried to respect your request for space but I didn't think you would ever come back to me knowing what I had done…" he takes a deep breath. "Taylor approached you as your shift ended at the restaurant asking you to come talk to me. Thankfully you agreed; you ordered me to take a shower and put clean clothes on while you heated up dinner-"

"Gail helped me heat up macaroni and cheese?" I ask remembering a memory from earlier in the week of me in Christian's kitchen.

"Yes" he confirms. "I was so afraid you would be gone when I got out of the shower that I raced downstairs surprised to still find you in the kitchen. I thought you would have left or that you were a dream. You stayed with me that night, and for several nights after that."

"Do you still talk to her?" I ask quietly, not sure I want to know the answer.

"Elena?" he asks, I nod. "No, I have not spoken to her since Christmas dinner."

"She told me to give you her love" I say.

"She was just trying to get to you" he assures me. "I've had nothing to do with her since that day. It took me a long time to realize what she did was wrong."

"What she did?" I ask.

"She introduced me to BDSM when I was fifteen" he says quietly.

"You were a child!" I exclaim angrily.

"At the time, it seemed like what I needed" he admitted. "It wasn't until I talked to my parents on Christmas did I truly see it as abuse. She had convinced me that it made me who I was."

"Oh Christian" I hug him.

"Do you remember seeing her at the restaurant?" he asks a few minutes later.

"I don't think so…" I try to remember her but only see flashes of her face but clear enough to figure out where.

"She apparently was there the night of your accident" he says.

"Do you think she…" I ask.

"No, we checked…she was in a hotel around the time of your accident in a different city" he explains.

"I see" I say relieved.

"I have someone keeping an eye on her and Welsh is checking her financial statements just to be sure she had nothing to do with it" he replies.

"I think I would like to go to bed" I yawn a few moments later.

"Of course" he assists me from his lap into my chair.

Christian follows me to my room, helping me change into pajamas and get ready for bed. I notice Christian hasn't taken off his clothes or made any attempt at getting ready for bed.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" I ask.

"I wasn't sure…." He answers.

"Christian, please come to bed with me" I say.


	35. Chapter 35

Author's Note: Thank you for your continued reviews and encouragement! I was shocked to find more than 500 reviews this morning when I logged into my account! I am truly touched by all who enjoy this story...

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 35 CPOV**

The last couple of weeks have flown by; I couldn't be happier with the progress Ana is making. She is remembering more and more every day and I feel like the BDSM discussion has only brought us closer. I wake every morning lying next to Ana or with her head on my chest. We have been intimate at least 2-3 times per week; I'd rather bury myself in her every day but I'm still afraid I'm going to hurt her since her arm and leg are still in casts plus I don't know if her ribs are completely healed yet. She has an appointment with the orthopedic doctor this morning which we should find out how much longer she has in both her casts. Ana is hopeful the cast on her arm will come off today even though I've tried telling her not to get her hopes up too much. Once the casts come off she still has a lot of physical therapy ahead of her so I have already lined up the best physical therapists who are on standby for the moment the doctor gives the physical therapy orders.

"Good Morning" Ana hugs me, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Morning baby" I kiss her on the head.

"Did you sleep good?" she asks smirking.

"Oh baby, after last night I slept wonderful" I laugh remembering our love making the night before.

"So did I" she blushes.

"Would you like a bath before I leave for work?" I ask.

"If you have time….if not, I can wait until you get home" she answers.

"I have time, my first meeting isn't until ten" I throw on a pair of pajama pants. "Besides, I thought maybe we could go out for dinner tonight."

"That would be nice" she answers.

I carry Ana up the stairs, placing her in the manual wheelchair that is in the guest room closest to the stairs. We have been keeping this wheelchair in the guest room unless we are going somewhere so she can at least get around upstairs. Over the last couple of weeks she has spent quite a bit of time in the library after I get home from work or on the weekends. I haven't told her that I built this room specifically with her in mind because I know she would say it's too much. Secretly, I am pleased that she is so comfortable in there and wants to spend hours getting lost in books. It was exactly what I wanted when I designed the room, I wanted her to have a place she could go and lose herself here since she hasn't had that anywhere else.

I wheel her into the bathroom and start the bath water; I'm thankful she is becoming less shy about undressing in front of me. I think the realization that I was touching her back the one night without it triggering a panic attack or negative memories allowed her to trust me more. Ever since that night she was been more comfortable with me touching her and undressing in front of me. I know she is still self-conscious of her scars and because of her limited mobility she hasn't had her back fully exposed to me too often but at least we are making progress from the first time I undressed her in the hospital. With Ana's assistance, I undress her and carry her into the tub before running back downstairs to gather her clothes. Even though nothing will probably happen, I'm always nervous about leaving her in the tub while I run downstairs for clothes. Unfortunately I never plan it well and bring the clothes up before bringing her up. I think I'm going to ask Gail to move some clothes into my closet for her, eliminating this issue altogether. Walking back into my room, I realize how infrequent I have been in here since Ana came home from the hospital. I spend every night in her bed, using my room typically only to dress and shower. I wish my room were on the main floor so I could sleep with Ana in this bed every night. I don't mind her bed, it's just a little smaller compare to my king size bed.

"Christian?" Ana pulls me from my thoughts.

"I'm right here, is everything okay?" I rush into the bathroom.

"Oh, it's fine" she blushes. "Would you mind washing my hair? Then I'm ready to get out."

"Sure" I answer.

I wash her hair, savoring moments like this when Ana actually lets me take care of her. She's been trying to become more and more independent, trying to do much more on her own despite her limitations. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that she is trying to do more but I worry that she is going to hurt herself in the process. I'll be glad when the cast on her arm finally comes off; at least it will give her a little more stability and support until her leg is fully healed. I help her get dressed, chose a few more books from the library before taking her back downstairs for breakfast.

"Good Morning Gail" Ana leads us into the dining room where Gail just finished plating breakfast.

"Good Morning Ana, Mr. Grey" Gail smiles.

"Are you ready for your appointment today?" I ask as we begin eating.

"I'm really hoping they say the cast can come off today" she says. "It would make things so much easier if I could use two hands!"

"I'm sure it would, just don't be too disappointed if they want to leave it on for a few more weeks" I caution.

"I'm optimistic" she smiles.

"I thought maybe tonight we would go to Campenilli's for dinner…" I begin.

"That would be great! I'd love to see Antonio and thank him for holding my job for all this time" she says happily.

"Taylor and I will pick you up after work" I say.

"I could meet you at your office earlier if you want" she suggests.

"Sure…I think I have a meeting that goes until three but you can come anytime" I smile; it would be nice for her to see my office. "Just let Sawyer know whenever you want to come over."

"I was thinking of stopping by after my appointment at the hospital" she says.

"Sure, whenever you want" I kiss her deeply as we leave the table.

"Sir?" Taylor enters the room.

"I'll be there in a minute" I respond.

"I'll see you later today" Ana smiles.

"I love you Ana" I kiss her before meeting Taylor in the foyer.

I don't want for a response from Ana because I know she won't say it back yet; I'm trying to be patient and remember that she has forgotten so much because of the accident but I'm also desperate for her to say those three words back to me. She has said that she is falling for me, which at least is a start but it's so hard knowing that I'm the only one at least for now that is in love in this relationship. I know it's not Ana's fault that she can't remember being in love with me, everything that we shared and everything that we have gone through together. I could seriously kill the person who is responsible for Ana's accident. I have a meeting with Welsh this morning and I'm hoping he has more answers; someone needs to pay for what they have done to Ana.

"Good Morning Mr. Grey" Andrea greets me.

"Morning. Can you please let Welsh know that I'm ready to meet with him?" I request.

"Yes Mr. Grey" Andrea answers as I walk away.

"Enter" I say a few moments later.

"Mr. Grey" Welsh enters my office.

"Please have a seat" I gesture to the chair in front of my desk.

"I have some news" Welsh begins.

"Thank God" I mumble.

"As you know, I've been monitoring Elena Lincoln's bank accounts for any suspicious activity since we learned that she was at the restaurant that night" Welsh begins.

"Yes, but you also said she checked into a hotel around the time of the accident" I say confused.

"That's true…." Welsh pauses. "However, something didn't sit right with me. I couldn't believe it was coincidence that she was there the night Ms. Steele was hit. I've been digging deeper because her accounts seem too perfect. She pays her bills using her checking account however there are never transactions for personal items: dinner out, clothes, entertainment, etc… The only thing that stood out was the hotel room she paid for the night of the accident; other than that there are never personal expenses taken from her checking account. She has no credit cards either."

"What are you saying?" I ask, worried about the answer.

"The lack of charges led me to dig deeper" he pauses. "I've found a much larger off shore bank account in Elena Lincoln's name; I need to dig deeper as these accounts are often very difficult to access. My guess is she is using these funds to pay for various personal expenses."

"But that doesn't sound like anything that could tie her to the accident" I say confused.

"Not exactly" he begins. "I haven't been able to get a full history on that account yet, however my source has said there are several large transfers to an account in the US including one the day after the accident. Now it could be coincidence…"

"Or it could be a payoff" I sigh. "Who is the money being transferred to?"

"A gentleman by the name of Joshua Murphy" he says.

"What do we know about him?" I ask.

"He is a 22 years old college student, majoring in political science at a nearby community college. He has no ties to Ms. Steele or any member of her family. I see no direct connection to Elena Lincoln" Welsh says.

"Send me a picture of him" I request and dismiss Welsh.

The thought that Elena might have purposely arranged to have Ana hit by a car disgusts me. How could she be that angry with me to go after Ana? What did she think this would accomplish? Did she think that if she killed Ana I would go back to her and have her set me up with subs again? Did she really have that much control over me?

"Andrea!" I call.

"Yes Mr. Grey?" Andrea rushes in.

"Get me an appointment with Dr. Flynn immediately" I say.

"Yes Mr. Grey" Andrea closes the door behind her.

An hour later, Taylor is driving me to Dr. Flynn's office who was able to get me in for an emergency appointment. I pay Dr. Flynn a great deal of money which insures his flexibility in times like this.

Flynn: Christian, how are you?

Christian: Not good.

Flynn: What's going on?

Christian: We have reason to believe that Elena paid someone to try to kill Ana.

Flynn: I see…I'm not going to ask how you know this because I don't want to know if it's not completely legal. Tell me what you're thinking.

Christian: FUCK! I don't know where to begin! How could she do this? Why does she hate Ana so much? What does she think this will change?

Flynn: Let's start with your last question…what changed when Ana came into your life? Specifically as it relates to Elena?

Christian: Well, even before I met Ana I stopped going to Elena for subs. You know I had wanted out of that lifestyle even before Ana.

Flynn: Did Elena know this?

Christian: I guess not entirely (Pause). She kept sending me pictures of subs even when Ana and I first started dating. I told her multiple times that I wasn't interested in a sub but for a while she kept sending me pictures of naked woman who she thought would be a perfect sub for me.

Flynn: Is it possible she blames Ana for your choice to leave BDSM?

Christian: I think so (sigh). But I decided months before Ana; I didn't want to tell Elena because I knew she wouldn't understand.

Flynn: What changed for Elena on Christmas Day?

Christian: I cut off all ties with her; I made it clear that we were done. My mother cut her off as well; she told her she would never be invited to a social event in which she hosted.

Flynn: Elena attended a lot of social events didn't she?

Christian: Yes, she loved being in the spot light and dressing up for the charity balls. (pause). She blames Ana for losing her social status and for losing me.

Flynn: It's possible.

Christian: This is all my fault.

Flynn: Christian, you don't control Elena. There is no way you could have known she would react like this when you decided to leave BDSM. What was the other choice? Continue in the lifestyle just to please Elena?

Christian: Ana is going to hate me.

Flynn: Has Ana given you any indication that she blames you?

Christian: No, but she doesn't know that Elena might be responsible for this.

Flynn: Do you think Ana will blame you for this?

Christian: How could she not? If she hadn't met me, she wouldn't be hurt! She wouldn't be in a wheelchair! She would be finishing school on campus right now! She would be walking around campus! She would be working right now!

Flynn: That's true she would (pause). But look at all the positive things that have happened to Ana since she met you.

Christian: What are you talking about?

Flynn: You had said she was homeless before, right?

Christian: Yes, you already know that.

Flynn: So it's possible she would still be homeless, struggling to find a way to pay her bills since she wouldn't have been given the scholarship money.

Christian: I suppose.

Flynn: Be honest with Ana, tell her everything.

Christian: I'm afraid (whisper)

Flynn: A couple weeks ago you were afraid to tell her about your BDSM history again…how did she react to that.

Christian: You know how she reacted! This is different! Someone tried to kill her because of me!

Flynn: You're right it is different. I'm just trying to say don't underestimate Ana, she might surprise you.

I leave Dr. Flynn's office thinking about what he said; Ana surprises me almost every day at how she reacts to things. Even when we first starting dating, she maintained such a positive attitude despite her housing and financial situations. Never would I have thought that she was homeless when I met her; her attitude was always so positive. However this is more than just a situation; this is almost getting killed, dealing with horrible pain, months of physical therapy and having her entire life uprooted because someone tried to have her killed because she was dating me. I knew my life would be an adjustment for her, but I thought it would be the paparazzi that got to her not Elena. Luckily, the paparazzi have not linked Ana and I together yet but I expect that will change soon. I'm afraid that everything is going to become too much for her and that she will run. I cannot handle the thought of losing Ana; I almost lost her because of Elena already, I can't let that happen again.

"Mr. Grey….I….um…." Andrea stutters as I return to the office.

"What is it Andrea?" I ask, confused as to her sudden nervousness.

"Someone came to see you while you were at your appointment, Welsh said it would be okay for them to wait in your office" Andrea says. "Normally I wouldn't let them in if you weren't here, but Welsh said…"

"It's fine Andrea" I mutter walking into my office to see what the commotion was all about.

"Hi Christian" Ana greets me with a big smile.

"Ana!" I rush to her giving her a huge hug.

I am shocked that she is here, I completely forgot she would be stopping by today and feel bad that I wasn't here when she arrived. I make a mental note to thank Welsh for telling Andrea to have Ana wait in my office instead of having her sit in the lobby. I'm so surprised that Ana is here that it takes me a few minutes to realize that Ana has both arms wrapped around me.

"Ana, your arm?" I ask surprised.

"They took the cast off!" she exclaims happily.

"Wow, that's fantastic news" I smile.

"Look, they also gave me this fancy piece of equipment" she lifts her leg up from the chair where I can see she has some type of boot thing on it.

"What is it?" I ask.

"It's a walking cast" she answers proudly. "They want me to practice for a little bit each day, but I can start using the cane to walk short distances."

"Is it safe?" I ask concerned she will fall or reinjure herself.

"The doctor said as long as I take my time and I'm on even surfaces I should be fine" she explains. "He wants me to take it slowly and not to put any weight on it if I don't have the boot on which means I still can't take a shower but at least I can get around a little more."

"Did they say anything about physical therapy?" I ask.

"Not yet," she answers. "I have another appointment in three weeks so maybe at that point since he said I might only need this for three to four weeks."

"I'm so happy for you baby" I kiss her.

"How has your day been?" she asks settling onto the couch near my desk.

"Eventful" I sigh.

"That doesn't sound good" she says.

"No, not really" I pause. "Can you look at a picture and tell me if you recognize someone?"

"Sure, I can try" she says.

I sit next to her on the couch and show her the picture that Welsh sent me earlier of Joshua Murphy. She takes the phone and brings it closer to her but I can see from the confusion in her eyes that she does not know who he is.

"Sorry Christian" she shakes her head. "Should I know him?"

"I'm not sure" I answer honestly.

"Do you think he is the one who hit me?" she asks quietly.

"It's possible but we don't know for sure" I admit.

"Who is he?" she asks.

"A college student" I answer vaguely.

"That's not what I meant and you know it Christian" she says firmly, clearly knowing I'm hiding something.

"I know" I sigh. "Let's go to dinner and talk about it there."

"Are you okay Christian? You seem worried" she says as Taylor drives us to the restaurant a little while later.

"I'm fine" I lie.

The ride to the restaurant is short, Taylor parks on the street near the entrance before pulling the wheelchair out of the trunk for Ana. With no assistance, Ana gracefully moves herself from the car to the chair carefully maneuvering the curb at the sidewalk. I immediately notice the difference and the confidence she has now that she can use both of her hands. She tries to wheel herself into the restaurant but I'm not having it and quickly take over. As soon as we enter the restaurant everyone comes out to greet Ana, obviously happy to see her. Her face immediately lights up as she recognizes everyone and realizes how much they are about her. Antonio spends several minutes talking with us, checking to make sure everything is comfortable for Ana before having special dishes prepared for us. Ana blushes at all the fuss, clearly not comfortable being the center of attention but I think it's good for her to see how many people really care for her and miss her.

"Are you okay Ana?" I ask as she is quiet for several minutes after Antonio left us.

"Can I see that picture again?" she asks.

"Sure" I cautiously hand her my phone.

"He has been here…I served his table a couple of times" she says some time later.

"Do you remember if he was here with anyone?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yes….the blond lady…you're….whatever you want to call her" she says with a tone of disgust.

"Elena" I gasp.

"Yes, I remember because she ordered for him and didn't let him speak" she pauses. "Oh my god…was he her…."

"It sounds like it" I interrupt.

"He is half her age" she whispers.

"Yes, I think she preferred younger partners" I say choosing my words carefully since we are in public.

"Do you think she had him hit me?" she asks wearily.

"We don't know…there is a large sum of money deposited into his account from her off shore bank account the day after the accident" I explain honestly, remembering what Flynn said.

"But why?" her eyes fill with tears.

"I don't know baby" I say hugging her close to me.

"Can we go home?" she asks a few moments later.

"Of course," I say.

After having Antonio pack up our meals and asking Taylor to bring the car around to the front of the building Ana and I make our way outside. Taylor is just around the corner at the light I realize as we exit the restaurant. It's pretty warm out so I don't bring Ana back inside, choosing to wait outside for Taylor. Suddenly I hear Ana gasp and turn white as a ghost; she's not responding to me calling her name just staring at the road in front of us. I'm frantically trying to pull her back to reality as I realize she is likely reliving the accident. Thankfully Taylor arrives just in time; as soon as he opens the door I lift her and carry her into the car. Taylor puts her chair in the back and quickly drives us back to Escala. The entire time she doesn't say a word but sobs in my lap, shaking as the emotions take over.

I bring her up to my bedroom, placing her on the bed before going turning the bath water on. I don't know if this will help her but it seemed to comfort her after a nightmare. If this doesn't work, I vow to call my mom and see if she has any suggestions. I quickly remove my pants and shirt, assuming I'm going to have to carry Ana into the tub as I have done before. As I return to the bedroom, Ana is curled in a ball sobbing.

"Ana? Baby?" I ask.

"I'm going to get you into the bathtub now, if you don't want me to please say something" I beg.

Several minutes pass with no response, I gently remove the walking cast from her leg gasping at the site of how different her leg looks from being in the cast for so long. I quickly take off her clothing and carry her bridal style into the bathroom. I set her on the top step of the bathtub as I have done so many other times in the last couple of months before stepping into the tub and lowering her into the warm water. I set her down and go to step out when she grabs my hand and pulls me down to her. I immediately shift her forward slightly, lowering myself behind her barely noticing that I still have my underwear on. I pull her close to me, her back is against my chest and I wrap my arms around her holding her close as she continues to sob.

"I remember….the accident" she sobs.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry" I hug her tighter.

"I remember the pain when the car hit me, I remember looking down and seeing the ground" she explains as the tears fall. "I remember lying in the street; I couldn't hear anything but someone was above me talking to me."

"He was an off duty fire fighter" I say quietly.

"Why did he want to hurt me Christian? What did I do to him?" she sobs.

"I'm so sorry Ana" I say. "I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you."

"What?" she asks confused. "Why would you try to make it to me? You didn't hit me."

"It's my fault this happened" I whisper.

"How?" she asks.

"We think Elena paid him to hit you" I admit.

"Right…but how is this your fault? You didn't pay Elena the money or arrange for her to hire him to hit me."

"If you didn't know me…" I begin.

"Don't go there Christian" she says sternly, turning her head so she can look at me. "This is not your fault, don't think that for one minute! She is the sick perverted child molester who abused you as a child, she controlled you for years even after you were no longer her sub. You didn't control her, you didn't suggest to her that she try to kill me. This was all her doing; it had nothing to do with you!"

"But…if you and I hadn't…." I mumble.

"You're right" she sighs. "If we never met, I probably wouldn't have gotten hit that night."

My heart drops…I know what's coming next. She is going to leave me…

"You wouldn't have" I whisper.

"I also wouldn't be the person I am right now" she explains. "I wouldn't know what love is, I wouldn't know the touch of someone, I wouldn't have someone to hold me at night, I wouldn't have experienced the many things that you and I have done together."

"I am so sorry" I kiss her neck up and down.

"Christian, can we get out of the tub please?" she asks suddenly.

"Of course" I answer nervously.

I step around her, drying myself off before helping her out of the tub. She still cannot bare weight on her leg without the walking cast so I quickly wrap her in a towel and carry her back to my bed.

"Let me get you some clothes" I lay her on my bed.

"No, come here" she requests.

I climb into bed with her, the towel still around my waist. She surprises me by pulling me close to her and laying her head on my shoulder. Her arm wraps around my chest, her leg is across mine as she holds me tighter. I'm completely stunned at her reaction; I thought she would hate me after I told her it's very likely Elena was the one behind her accident. Instead, we are lying in bed together and she is holding me close to her.

"Christian…you can't blame yourself for this" she says a few minutes later.

"How could I not?" I ask.

"Because you didn't do this; Elena did this" she says firmly.

"But-" I argue.

"No but" she leans up kissing me on the lips. "You (kiss) didn't (kiss) do (kiss) this."

"Oh baby…what did I ever do to deserve you?" I kiss her passionately.

"Did you really think I would blame you for the accident?" she pulls away slightly.

"I thought you would leave me" I admit looking away.

"Christian" she says pulling my face towards her. "I'm not going anywhere."

"But-" I interrupt.

"No buts" she kissing me again. "I love you Christian, I'm not going anywhere."

"Say it again" I whisper, needing to be sure I heard what I thought I heard.

"I love you Christian" she smiles.

I pull her close to me, kissing her deeply expressing how much I love her in my kiss. I've waited months to hear those words from her and it's like hearing it for the first time all over again. My hands are all over her body as hers are all over mine. Without the restrictions of the casts we are able to explore each other's bodies much easier. I gently pull back the folds of the towel from the front of her body, exposing her beautiful naked body to me. I run my hands over her plump breasts, down her flat stomach, around her toned thighs and barely graze her sex which earns me a quiet moan from her. Her hands surprise me by moving between us and tugging my towel open.

"You have underwear on" she giggles.

"I wasn't planning on getting into the tub with you so I left them on" I laugh.

"You should take them off…you know so the bed doesn't get wet" she blushes.

I smile at her shyness but immediately remove my underwear, freeing my now hard erection. She pulls me closer to her, so we are lying side by side again as our hands run over each other's bodies. Her mouth attacks mine, her tongue quickly finds my mouth and I'm so turned on by her eagerness and confidence. When we first became intimate again after her accident she was very shy and almost hesitant to touch me, but lately she has becoming more bold and even more verbal which turns me on beyond belief. She wraps her leg around my waist, pulling me against her sex where my erection is immediately coated by her juices. I can feel how turned on she is by this and find myself ready to combust.

"Ahhhhhhhhh" she moans as my erection continues to probe her opening.

I can feel her clit bump against me every time she comes closer. She reaches between us, grasping my erection catching me completely by surprised and she guides me to her opening. I let her have control because her doing so is turning me on even more which I didn't think was possible. Once she positions me at her opening, she gently pushes her hips down while pulling my hips up. I watch her face as she takes me all in, her face showing the ecstasy that she is in right now.

"Baby you feel so good" I moan once she takes me completely in.

"Oh Christian…." She moans rocking her hips against me.

She continues rocking against me for several minutes, but I can tell the orgasm is building and I doubt this is enough to find her release with. She grasps me tighter, her nail digging into my shoulders as she continues to try to rock herself against me harder. I find myself on the brink of an orgasm but I fight it off, wanting her to come first.

"Christian…baby….I'm so close" she moans.

"You are so tight….so hot….I love watching you when you are getting close to coming" I tell her.

"Oh God Christian" she cries. "I need to come!"

I quickly flip her over, she is on her back and I plunge into her deeply again. I am rewarded with a loud moan as I hit that wonderful spot deep within her. I pull her thighs apart, placing my hands under her knees before lifting myself up a little changing the position somewhat. I'm still mindful that her leg isn't completely healed, so I'm sure not to touch below her knee. I nearly pull completely out before slamming back into her. I haven't been rough with her since the accident; I wasn't sure if she would still enjoy the same roughness as before but I want to try. If she doesn't like it, I can alter my approach. I don't need it rough if she doesn't want it; I will take her however I can get her.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she screams as I slam back into her.

"Does it feel good?" I ask pulling out of her.

"Don't stop Christian!" she yells.

I immediately comply, slamming back into her as she tightens around me. She is gripping me so tightly, I'm surprised I can even pull out of her.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" She moans.

"Christian….I'm so close!" she screams.

"Come for me baby" I say.

"Christian!" she screams as her orgasm takes over.

Her walls are trembling, squeezing me so tightly that I can no longer hold back my own orgasm. I go to pull out of her, realizing we weren't using a condom but she grasps my ass and pulls me closer to her. I find my release deep inside of her before I can pull out again. Although I'm concerned because we didn't use a condom, I have missed coming inside of her especially without a barrier. There is something about spilling myself in her that feels so different than using a condom.

"Ana" I look at her.

"I finished my first month on the pill, we're good now" she smiles.

"Oh baby, you don't know how happy that makes me" I kiss her, moving in and out of her enjoying the freedom we now have.

"I can tell" she smirks.

I gently pull out of her, secretly wishing we could stay like that all night but I don't want to risk hurting her. I pull her onto her side bring her close to me, her back to my front and she quickly falls asleep in my arms. I am truly shocked at how today turned out; not only does Ana not react at all how I thought to learning that Elena is likely behind the accident but then she tells me she loves me.


	36. Chapter 36

_Author's note: Sorry for the delay; I had massive writer's block on where to take this story next._

_All characters belong to E.L. James_.

**Chpt. 36 APOV**

I wake up before Christian which is surprising considering he is always awake so early; instead he is lying next to me with his hand on my breast. I giggle that even in his sleep he is drawn to me. We have been alternating our sleeping locations lately; some nights we are in my bedroom downstairs and other night we are upstairs in Christian's room. It seems to depend on how tired we are and whether or not Christian has work to do before bed. If he has work to do, we end up sleeping in my room since his office is right next to my room. However lately we have been spending most nights in his bed which is significantly bigger than mine and even more comfortable which I didn't think was possible. He has the softest sheets on his bed; even the comforter is soft and luxurious. I can't even begin to think about what fabric this soft must cost.

The last couple weeks have flown by; Christian has been working on several big projects lately so he has been putting in longer days at the office. I'm almost done with my self-study assignments and expect to submit them early next week which is at least a full month before graduation. I'm proud of myself for getting the assignments done before graduation despite everything that happened. I started physical therapy a week ago which seems to be helping as I feel steadier on my feet. I'm looking forward to getting rid of the walking cast altogether but I know I'm going to be dependent at least on a cane for some time.

"Hmmmmmmmmm" Christian moans in his sleep, grabbing my breast tighter.

I giggle again at this; it's clear he is asleep as he quietly snores but his hand is firm on my breast. We have really become closer recently; once I admitted that the feelings I had for him was indeed love it was as if everything else just feel into place. My memory has almost completely returned; there are a few things that I still struggle with but for the most part I'm able to remember everything that Christian and I shared as well as everything that has happened in the last few years. I run my hand up and down Christian's firm stomach enjoying the way his abs feel under my fingers. He doesn't respond, doesn't move so I continue my exploration of his body while he is sound asleep. My hand grazes his erection every time I move my hand down his firm stomach. There is one thing I have wanted to try but haven't since the accident; glancing at Christian who is still snoring I decide to take advantage of his body. I gently move his hand from my breast and move under the covers. I straddle his legs, careful not to sit on him or wake him up. I can see his erection through his boxer briefs; I gently pull his underwear off his erection as it springs right up. Christian's breathing hitches but he gives me no indication that he is awake; although something tells me he is now awake. I instead focus on my goal, which is right in front of my face at this point. I take him in my hand, guiding him into my mouth gently sucking on him and exploring him with my tongue before taking him in my mouth deeper.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh Ana" he moans, obviously awake now.

He pulls the covers off of us, tossing them to the side and I see him looking down at me as I take his entire erection into my mouth. I take his as deep as possible, almost to the back of my throat before I feel myself almost gag. I return my attention to his head, sucking him hard as my hand strokes the base of his erection.

"Ana….baby….I want to taste you" he moans.

I look up at him confused but quickly understand what he wants. I sit up and slowly pull of my silk night gown giving him a perfect view of my breasts. I awkwardly pull my underwear off before turning my body around. I can feel myself blushing at this movement but at the same point I'm incredibly turned on by the thought of this. Christian gently guides my body onto his, straddling my thighs around his face before pulling my ass closer to him.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as his tongue finds my sex.

I grasp his erection and guide him back into my mouth; Christian's hips immediately thrust upward pushing himself deeper into my throat. I struggle to take him, but manage to swallow as he hits the back of my throat. He groans against my sex, his fingers digging into my ass and his breathing is more rapid than before. I can tell he is getting close to coming and this is the only part of what I'm doing that makes me a little nervous. His hips thrust more and I struggle to continue sucking around him as he moves so quickly.

"Oh God….don't stop Ana" Christian says, his attention now fully on what I'm doing.

"Ahhhhhhhh….Ana I'm going to come! If you don't want…." He says as I pull him in deeper, fondling his balls as I swallow him one last time.

This quickly triggers his orgasm and I feel him explode into my mouth. I don't think about it but swallow him, continuing to suck every drop out of him. I wasn't sure what to expect, but he doesn't taste nearly as bad as I expected. It's sort of sweet tasting…

"Ahhhhhhhhhh" I moan as Christian pulls me against his mouth, openly kissing my sex.

I lift myself up slightly, giving Christian better access to me as he continues his wonderful assault on my sex. His tongue explores my sex; I feel his teeth nibble on my folds before a finger enters my core. I blush deeply, realizing that I am grinding my sex against him, needing more from him as the orgasm quickly approaches.

"Christian…." I moan.

"I got you baby" he says, pushing another finger into me.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he curls his fingers forward hitting that wonderful spot as his tongue continues to explore my sex.

"Come baby, let me taste you" he says.

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I scream as I find my release, pushing myself further onto his fingers.

I moan when he quickly removes his fingers from deep inside of me, but he immediately replaces them with his tongue. I can feel his tongue deep inside of me, my clit rubs against his chin which has me aroused even more. Christian's hand gently pushes on my back, urging me closer to his now rock hard erection. I guide his erection back into my mouth, licking the come as it slowly drips out of him. I feel him harden and lengthen even more in my mouth just as Christian's tongue thrusts into me deeply.

"Hmmmmmmm" I moan around his erection.

"Baby, I need to be inside of you" Christian gently lifts me from him.

Once again, I awkwardly move around, this time so I am lying next to Christian and immediately his lips find mine. He rolls me onto my side, his erection probes my sex as his hand grips my ass tightly. He rocks my hips roughly against his erection; I can feel my juices coating him as he rubs my clit against him.

"Christian….I need you" I moan.

He pulls me on top of him, gently pushing my hips down so he slowly, slowly slides into me. Its pure torture how slow he is sliding into me but feels exquisite. I gently rock against him, moaning as he slowly moves in and out of me. The pace is keeping the orgasm just out of reach, keeping me on edge; I try to move faster but Christian's hands remain firm on my hips controlling the movements. Our breathing is heavy, we are both moaning loudly as the need to find our release hits an all-time high. Christian gently lifts my hips slight above him and I moan in disappointment as he almost pulls out of me completely. He pauses for a moment, rubbing just the tip of his erection around my opening driving me crazy.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I scream as he thrusts into me deeply.

"You feel so good baby" Christian moans.

Christian pulls out and thrusts hard and deep several times; I find myself teetering on the edge, desperately needing a release. Christian's mouth finds mine and his tongue now mimics what he is doing to my sex. I moan loudly as the orgasm finally hits; Christian finds his release moments later screaming my name as he pours himself into me. He stays deep inside of me, making no effort to move as I rest my head on his chest listening to his racing heart beat begin to slow.

"Wow" I finally catch my breath.

"I love you Ana" Christian kisses me passionately.

"I love you too" I say.

"Let's get washed up and grab some breakfast" Christian suggests.

"Sounds good, I think I've worked up an appetite" I joke.

After a quick bath, Christian carries me downstairs to the breakfast bar where Gail is just finishing our breakfast. I have just started working on steps in physical therapy but I know it's going to be some time before I can master the steps to Christian's bedroom as there are just way too many of them.

"I was thinking we could go to Aspen this weekend" Christian says over breakfast.

"Really?" I smile.

"We won't be able to ski or ice skate since it's so warm and I don't think your leg would be up to it, but there's plenty to do in Aspen during the off season. There's lots of shopping, plus an entire house we can have to ourselves" he smirks.

"That would be nice, I've never been to Aspen before" I say excited.

"We could fly out tomorrow morning, stay for a few days and then leave whenever you want. I've rearranged my schedule at work so my important meetings are now later in the week in case you want to extend our trip" he explains.

"That sounds wonderful! Did you already make reservations for us?" I ask.

"We don't need reservations" he says as I look confused. "I have a house in Aspen."

"You have a house in Aspen?" I say surprised.

"Yes, I bought it a few years ago but haven't been there recently" he explains.

"You're too much" I laugh.

"What?" he asks.

"You act like having a house in Aspen is no big deal" I giggle.

"It's just a house baby" he says.

Christian spends the afternoon at the office wrapping up a few things before our trip tomorrow. While he is at the office, I pack a small suitcase with several extra sets of clothes as I'm not sure what we will be doing. Gail says the house is fully stocked so I shouldn't bring any toiletries with me; Christian has said he will just buy anything that I need while we are there but I want to minimize that so I'm sure to pack everything I think I might need. Gail packs a small bag for Christian which I learn is pretty typical for her whenever he goes away on a trip.

_My mom wants us to come to dinner tonight…do you feel up to it? –C_

_Sure –A _

_Pick you up around 5? –C_

_See you then –A_

The rest of the afternoon passes by quickly; I'm looking forward to our trip to Aspen tomorrow. I haven't traveled much, except from crappy neighborhood to crappy neighborhood when my mother would jump from guy to guy. I did a little research online about Aspen from my new computer so I knew what to expect when we arrive tomorrow and the pictures look absolutely breathtaking. My cell phone ringing pulls me from the beautiful pictures of mountains…

"Hi Kate!" I say after checking caller ID.

"Ana, how are you?" she asks.

"I'm good, I got my casts off last week so I'm finally a little more mobile" I laugh.

"That's wonderful…how are things with Christian?" she asks.

"Very good…in fact we are going to Aspen tomorrow" I gush.

"Aspen? Wow, it's beautiful there you're going to love it" Kate says.

"I was looking at pictures online, it looks breathtaking" I agree.

"Are you going to the Grey's tonight for dinner?" Kate asks.

"We are" I confirm.

"Oh good, so are we" she says.

"Listen, I need a favor" I ask.

"Of course, Ana anything" she quickly responds.

"In my room, on the top shelf of the closet is a gift bag, would you mind bringing it with you tonight?" I ask.

"Sure, no problem….what is it?" she asks.

"Christian's Valentine's Day present…obviously a little late" I giggle.

"I found it, I will bring it" she confirms.

"Can you just leave it in the car when you get there? I will grab it when we leave, I don't want to give it to him at his parent's house" I request.

"Sure" she answers. "There's something else…."

"What is it?" I'm concerned at Kate's sudden voice change.

"I've asked Elliot to move in with me" she says letting out a deep breath.

"Kate, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!" I exclaim.

"I want you to know that you are still welcome, the room is still yours…this doesn't change anything with you living here" she assures me.

"It's fine Kate…really…I'm thrilled for you!" I say.

"I'll see you tonight" she ends the call.

Elliot moving in with Kate doesn't bother me but it does make me wonder at what point I'm going to be able to move back to Kate's apartment. I think I need to get a little more comfortable with steps before I can manage Kate's apartment independently which shouldn't be that much longer probably a couple months at most. I'm sure Christian will be glad to get his spare room back once I move out; I'm still amazed that he had the entire room redone for me. Since we are going to Christian's parents for dinner tonight, I take extra time picking out an outfit for tonight. The walking cast can fit over a pair of jeans but it's not very comfortable so I'm still wearing dresses and skirts for the most part. For dinner I opt for a black skirt that come to me knees with a light pink top.

"Ana?" I hear Christian call from the foyer.

"In my room" I call as I pull on my skirt.

"Hmmmmm….I could get used to seeing you like this" Christian says quickly closing the door behind me.

I blush realizing I'm wearing a skirt and bra right now, having not finished getting dressed.

"I wasn't expecting you" I kiss him before reaching for my shirt.

"I should come home unexpected more often" he smiles.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes" I say.

"I'm going to grab a quick shower and change before we go" Christian says grabbing my ass before he leaves the room.

I quickly finish getting dressed, lightly curl my hair and apply a little make up before moving to the great room to wait for Christian. I'm barely seated when I hear him come down the steps, carrying my wheelchair.

"I don't think I will need that tonight" I point out.

"I wanted to have it in the car just in case you get tired. We won't bring it in unless you feel you need it" he says.

"Okay" I take his hand to head to the lobby.

"Hi Taylor" I say as he takes the chair from Christian.

"Ana" Taylor nods.

The ride to the Grey's is relatively short, when we arrive I see several cars already in the driveway so I assume we are the last to arrive. It takes me a few minutes but with Christian's support I am able to walk into the Grey's house.

"Ana! It's so wonderful to see you" Grace greets me giving me a gentle hug.

"Ana, you look wonderful" Carrick says.

"Thank you for having us for dinner" I reply.

"Oh dear, you're welcome here anytime. Please come in, we are just about to sit down" she guides us into the great room.

"Ana!" Kate quickly jumps us and kisses me on the cheek.

"Hey Ana" Elliot puts his arms around my shoulders.

We sit down and chat for a while, Elliot talks about his latest construction project in which he is trying to install green technology in a century old building for a new client. Listening to him talk it's clear that he has a clear passion for environmental friendly technology; most of which he hasn't had an opportunity to implement yet. I chuckle at Elliot as he continues the conversation while Grace leads us to the dining room.

"Where's Mia tonight?" Christian asks when Elliot finally stops talking.

"She already had plans to meet up with some friends" Grace explains.

"I feel like I haven't seen her in ages" I say.

"She's been busy lately, she just started a position as an assistant chef" Carrick smiles.

"Wonderful news!" Christian exclaims.

"She's very excited but doesn't want everyone to know because she's afraid you will come hound her when she works so I'm not allowed to tell you where she is working" Grace giggles.

"That's Mia" Elliot says and we all laugh.

"The Coping Together Gala will be the first weekend in June, please be sure it's on your calendar Christian…I expect you to be there" Grace says firmly.

"It's already on there" Christian smiles.

"Ana, Kate I expect you both to accompany my sons to the gala" Grace says.

"What is Coping Together Grace?" Kate asks, as I wonder the same thing.

"It's a wonderful organization that provides support, treatment and assistance to parents who have drug or alcohol addictions. They provide services to the family as a whole instead of focusing only on the individual with the addiction. They provide individual and family counseling in addition to their detox and rehab services" Grace explains. "Every year we host a gala to raise money for their services. Insurance only cover so much; the money we raise funds treatment for those that have no insurance or for what insurance doesn't cover."

"It sounds wonderful" I say quietly.

"They do amazing work" Carrick confirms.

"We will be there" Kate says for the both of us.

Over dinner I can't help but wonder how my life would have been different had my mother not gotten involved in drugs. I try not to dwell on it but had she not met Stephen I don't know that she would have started using drugs. Had she not met him, he wouldn't have abused me and I wouldn't have scars all over. I wouldn't be afraid of people touching me or having to be extra cautious when shopping to insure that clothes don't reveal my scars.

"You okay?" Christian whispers as we move into the great room after desert.

"Yeah, sorry" I smile weakly back at him.

"I think we are going to head home" Christian says moments later. "I'm taking Ana to Aspen in the morning so I we need to get home and finish packing."

I know he's lying; he saw my bag when he came home and Gail packed his bag but nonetheless I'm glad we're heading home. I'm feeling very tired and need to get out of this funk.

"Have a wonderful time" Grace says hugging me goodbye, her arms remaining above my waist at all times.

I realize at that point that she must know about my scars; it's the only explanation for why she has hugged me twice now without touching my lower back. The first time I thought it was a coincidence but now I realize it's purposeful. I know she was the doctor on duty when I came in after the ambulance so I can only assume she saw the scars. Realizing Christian didn't like his scars touched she must assume the same about me. Again, something I wouldn't have to worry about if my lousy excuse of a mother didn't meet Stephen.

"Ana?" Taylor approaches me as Christian says good bye to his parents.

"Is everything okay?" I'm concerned because Taylor is talking to so quietly.

"Yes" he smiles. "Mr. Grey, ah Elliot, gave me the bag and it is up front with me."

"Oh, thank you. Can you…I need to get it to Aspen…" I say quickly as Christian is walking towards us.

"I'll take care of it" he promises as he opens the door for me.

"Everything okay?" Christian looks between me and Taylor.

"Yes sir" Taylor says.

"Just talking Christian" I smile.

"Where do you want to sleep tonight baby?" Christian asks when we reach Escala.

"Your room" I say.

"As you wish" Christian quickly picks me up and carries me to his room.

Christian gives me a t shirt of his to wear, we quickly get washed up and in bed.

"You got quiet at dinner tonight" Christian pulls me against him.

"Just hearing about Coping Together made me think…" I sigh.

"How your life would have been different if drugs weren't involved?" he asks.

"Yes" I pause. "I can't help but think how different my life would be. Stephen's addiction, and later my mother's…"

"Shhhhhh….I know baby" he kisses me on my neck. "I've often wondered how different my life would be had my mother not been addicted to drugs as well."

"Is that why your mother is so involved in this charity?" I ask.

"Yes, she has been involved in this one for the last several years…almost since the beginning. Without the funding from the gala I doubt they would be as successful as they are" he answers.

"Does it really raise that much?" I'm surprised.

"Usually at least two to four million dollars" Christian says.

"Holy shit" I mumble.

"Every guest pays for a plate, the cost of the plate is donated as my mother convinces most of the services provided that night to donate their time and supplies. Then there are the auctions: the first dance and silent one which both raise substantial money. Of course there are donations that are received by guests at that time" he explains.

"Do you go every year?" I ask.

"Yes, my mother insists on it" he sighs. "It's a good cause so I don't mind going. This will be the first year though I have a date."

"Really? You never took any of your…submissives?" I ask.

"No, I never saw them outside the playroom. Our arrangement was strictly confined to the playroom" Christian explains.

"Oh" I yawn.

"Let's get to sleep, tomorrow I want you to join the mile high club" he kisses me on the neck.

"Wait…what?" I ask shocked.

"The mile high club…I plan to make love to you in the clouds" Christian smiles against my neck.

"But…how….the bathrooms are so small?" I ask confused.

"Bathrooms?" Christian pauses. "Oh, we're not flying on a commercial plane sweetie. We will be taking my jet."

"Your jet" I say.

"Yes…well it's GEH's jet which is technically mine but yes my jet" I can hear the sense of pride in his voice.

"And there's a bedroom on it?" I ask.

"Yes" he answers.

"Have you ever….?" I stutter.

"No" he answers quickly.

"Oh" I blush.

He pulls me tighter against him and we fall asleep like that; in each other's arms. I like the idea that he hasn't been intimate with anyone on the plane…I think it would be weird to have sex with him where he fucked another woman. It makes me appreciate that no one else has ever been in his bedroom and that he no longer has the playroom. Besides the fact that the punishments would scare the shit out of me, I think it would constantly remind me that he was with other woman every time I walked in there and I don't think I could handle that.


	37. Chapter 37

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 37 APOV:**

_"Get out here you little bitch!" he screams as I hide in the corner of my closet._

_I don't answer; I don't move…I'm afraid to breathe, he might hear me. He came home from work early, barely parked his truck before slamming the door open to our trailer. I saw him coming down the road; his truck is so loud you can't miss it, I ran to my room knowing from the speed he was driving that he was in a bad mood. He slammed the door open and I'm pretty sure he left a hole in the wall before he slammed it shut. I hear things being thrown around the living room; some breaking, some bouncing off the walls. My mom was passed out in her bed with a bottle of alcohol next to her when I came home from school today; I doubt she will wake up even with all this noise._

_"I know you're here…you have nowhere else to go! You have no friends, no life, no boyfriend…who would want to fuck an ugly bitch like yourself" he screams as he walks into my room._

_"Come out come out wherever you are" he yells in a sing song voice._

_Suddenly the closet door is ripped off the hinges and without even opening my eyes, I know he sees me. He doesn't say a word but grabs my neck, lifting me off the floor before he throws me against my bed. I scream in pain as I fall to the floor, my head bouncing against the hard floor. He steps on my back hard, while I hear him taking off his belt; I scream and try to kick my way free but with his heavy foot on my back I am unable to break free._

_"You are a no good piece of shit just like your mother" he screams at me as he lifts me off the floor by my hair and throws me against my bed, this time he holds me down by the back of my neck effectively pinning me to the bed._

_"I didn't do anything" I sob._

_"That's the point" he screams as the belt comes down against my ass. "All you do is take my money and give me nothing in return!" _

_"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" I scream as he continues to hit me repeatedly._

_"You will never amount to anything!" WACK "You're a no good bitch…the only thing you might be good for is a good fuck…if someone covered your ugly body" WACK _

_He continues to beat me while screaming what a horrible person I am for what feels like hours. I scream and lash out in pain but it only seems to push him further. He grasps my hands behind my back, before tying them with a piece of rope when I tried to push off the bed. With my hands tied and his hand closing around my neck there is nothing I can do. The room turns black several times but he must realize I'm closing to passing out because just before I stop feeling everything he loosens his grip on my neck and suddenly I'm reminded of the beating._

_End flashback_.

"ANA!" I vaguely hear Christian calling my name.

I wake up confused; it takes me several minutes to realize that I'm in Christian's room and not back in that filthy trailer. I pull my legs against my chest, holding them tightly while trying to get my breathing under control. It has been a couple weeks since my last nightmare; this one caught me completely by surprise and I think hit me harder since my guard was down.

"Are you okay?" Christian gently rubs my shoulders.

I don't answer…I can't find the words; it's almost as if my brain isn't functioning. I feel Christian pulling me against him but my body automatically tenses at someone being this close to me right now. I know it has nothing to do with Christian; I know he would never hurt me but my body can't help but tense whenever someone touches me after a nightmare. I don't know how much time passes, but I slowly feel my breathing returning to normal. Christian continues to just hold me, gently rocking me back and forth allowing me the time I need but not leaving my side.

"I'm okay" I whisper some time later.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yes" I sigh.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" he asks.

"No" I pause. "I don't think I can right now. Every time I close my eyes…."

"Shhhhhhhhh…it's okay" he assures me. "Would you like a bath?"

"Maybe…." I answer.

"I'll go get the water ready" he gets out of bed.

A few minutes later Christian is carrying me to the bathroom where the tub is filled with sweet smelling oils and bubbles. We both undress, climbing into the tub without saying a word. Christian pulls me against him so my back is resting on his chest and he wraps his arms around me holding me close.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

"It's always the same" I sigh. "The nightmares are flashbacks of the beatings."

"How long did it last?" he whispers.

"A couple years before I ran away" I answer. "At first the beatings were infrequent; here and there when he was drunk or high and in a bad mood. Towards the end though they would be at least weekly, if not more often. The only time he seemed to slow down is when he broke the skin; it was as if he knew how many days needed to pass before my skin would heal and then he would start beating me again."

"Oh baby….I'm so sorry you had to go through that" he kisses my neck gently. "I swear to you if he ever tries to contact you or come near I will see that he is locked up for the rest of his rotten life."

"I wish I would have left sooner" I admit quietly.

"I'm sure you were just waiting for your mother to wake the hell up and leave the son of a bitch" he says and I can feel his body tense against me.

"I kept thinking that one day she would wake up and see how he was treating me. That she would throw him out or take me somewhere" I cry.

"You left when you could" he says. "Just look at how far you have come."

"Thank you" I reply.

"Do you want to try going back to sleep?" he asks a few minutes later.

"I don't think I can" I say sadly. "You can sleep though, I don't want to keep you awake."

"No, it's fine" he helps me out of the tub. "Why don't we get dressed and have breakfast? I'll check with Gail and Taylor to see if they are able to leave early since we're awake."

"Gail is coming?" I ask surprised.

"Yes….this way we won't to cook" he smiles.

"Oh, I assumed it was only Taylor who would be joining us" I say.

"I asked Gail last night to join us; she has only been to the house once and I'm sure she wouldn't mind getting away for a few days" he replies.

We quickly dress; I reattach my walking cast before Christian takes me downstairs. Once we are down the steps he gently stands me up, insuring I'm steady on my feet before we make our way to the kitchen where we find Gail already hard at work.

"Good Morning Mr. Grey, Ana" she greets us.

"Gail you are up early" Christian says.

"I can never sleep right before I travel" she admits. "I'm always afraid I'm going to forget something."

"I used to be like that" Christian says. "But once you started packing my bags, I start worrying less because you always packed everything I needed."

"I'm sure you have everything Gail" I laugh.

"I'm going to check a few emails before breakfast" Christian kisses me on the cheek. "I want to make sure everything is cleared so we can enjoy the weekend."

"I love you" I whisper.

"I love you too baby" he replies before leaving the room.

"Ana…I thought we could try to make the chocolate cake this weekend that you wanted" Gail mentions once Christian is out of ear shot.

"That's a great idea! I never did get to try it the other week…is there anything we need to bring?" I ask.

"I've already placed an order with a local grocery store for all the ingredients you needed and food the time we are there of course…it all should be delivered shortly after we arrive" she explains. "The kitchen there has all the utensils and pans you will need."

"Perfect…it'll make a great desert one night" I smile. "Thank you."

"No problem Ana" she hands me a cup of tea.

Gail and I have become pretty close over the last few months; we practically spend all day together so it's hard not to. Other than Christian, she is the only person I talk to on a regular basis. I think if it wasn't for Gail being around all day I would drive myself crazy sitting in Christian's obscenely large apartment by myself. I've learned that Gail and Taylor are dating which surprised me because I never would have known if she didn't say anything. She said that Christian is aware, but they are careful to insure that their relationship is kept behind closed doors as to not interfere with their jobs. Gail was married once before for a very brief time as her husband was killed in a tragic car accident. She said it took her a long time to believe she could fall in love again after losing the love of her life. She hasn't said it but I get the impression that her and Taylor are very serious about one another and may even get married in the future. Gail is very easy to talk to and we act more like friends than anything when Christian is not around. I've noticed that when he is around she tends to act more professional around me, I think she is concerned about how it would look to Christian who is much more formal.

"Everything taken care of?" I ask when Christian comes back into the kitchen.

"Yes" he sighs.

"Would you like to eat here or in the dining room Mr. Grey?" Gail finishes plating our food.

"The dining room is fine" he helps me up before guiding me to the connecting room.

"What's wrong?" I ask once Gail puts our food on the table.

"I heard from my dad about the situation with Elena" Christian pauses.

"And?" I prompt.

"He doesn't think we have enough evidence to take to the DA yet" he says sadly.

"I was expecting that Christian" I admit.

"You were?" he asks surprised.

"Yes…really all you have is money being deposited into someone else's account" I explain. "There's nothing that links either of them to the accident."

"UGH" he says loudly in frustration, running his hands through his hair. "I wish we could find more. I promise you, I don't care how long it takes they will pay for what they did."

"I know Christian" I put my hand on his and squeeze it trying to assure him I believe him. "Baby, this isn't your fault. I know you will do everything possible to find the link that the authorities will need to pressure charges."

"I'm going to have Taylor put another private investigator on both of them. The one we currently have has gotten shit" he says.

"Whatever you think is best" I reply. "Let's just try to enjoy our trip."

"How can you be so positive? How are you not angry?" he asks a few minutes later.

"I was…I guess to some degree I am angry. I just can't dwell on it Christian; it's not going to do either of us any good if we just sit and think about it constantly" I answer.

"You're right" he sighs before kissing me deeply.

"Now when do I get to see this plane of yours?" I smile.

"Taylor!" Christian yells and I laugh.

"Yes sir?" Taylor quickly enters the room; I never know where he is but he must always be close because as soon as Christian calls for him he appears.

"We would like to leave soon" Christian says.

"Yes sir, I will have the car loaded and we should be ready in about fifteen minutes" Taylor quickly disappears.

"You didn't have to rush everyone" I smile.

"The sooner we leave the sooner I can get you on the plane" he smirks.

A few minutes later we are heading down the elevator with Gail to meet Taylor who has the car packed. We are bringing my wheelchair along mostly just for when we are out shopping or walking for long distances. I'm doing much better around the apartment but if I'm on my feet too much I tend to tire quickly and get pretty unstable. I don't know what shopping we are doing but Christian has mentioned it a couple times so I guess he has plans. I'm hoping he isn't planning on spending a lot of money on me this weekend, because I already owe him so much for everything he has done since the accident. The ride to the airport is longer than I expected as we hit quite a bit of traffic but Christian assures me we are on time and not to worry. Taylor quickly gets us through security quickly and our luggage is taken to the plane.

"Wow Christian" I say as we walk out to the plane.

"There's a couple steps…I didn't think…" Christian explains nervously.

"Christian, it's fine. I can handle a few steps" I assure him.

"Just take it slow, there's no hurry. Everyone can wait" he says firmly.

I slowly make my way up the three steps make my way through the small hallway before entering the beautiful plane. I am stunned at the elegance of the plane, although with Christian I should learn to expect nothing less. There are at least a dozen leather seats, all with plenty of leg room and look very comfortable. In front of the seats is what looks to be a small wet bar and a fridge, there are two doors in the back of the plane as well. I can only assume one is to the bedroom that Christian referenced and the other must be a bathroom. Christian places his hand on my back, urging me to continue to the seating area as I realize I am holding up the line. We all make our way to the seats as Rebecca, the flight attendant, introduces herself. The fasten seatbelt sign comes on and I immediately grasp Christian's hand nervously.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Just nervous…I've never flown before" I admit.

"Don't worry, this plane is very safe. It is regularly maintained and I had a full inspection completed early this morning" he assures me.

The plan slowly starts moving and I can't help but realize that I'm the only one nervous. Gail, Taylor and Christian all look very relaxed, clearly having flown several times. Gail is flipping through a magazine, Christian is responding to emails and Taylor is looking out the window. The plane begins to increase in speed before we finally take off. I watch out the window in awe as everything below us gets smaller and soon we are flying in the clouds, the only things on the ground visible are green areas and lakes. You can't see any houses or buildings from how high up we are.

"Ana and I will be in the bedroom if you need us" Christian says moments after the fasten seatbelt sign is off.

Christian puts his arm around my waist as he leads me to the bedroom which as I assumed was through one of the doors in the back. I'm thankful for his additional support in walking as I'm surprised at how unbalanced I feel walking on the plane. Christian opens the bedroom door and I am surprised at how warm and welcoming it feels. There is a large desk in the one corner which is set up as a fully functional office, while the remainder of the room is dominated by a very large bed. The walls are painted a warm green color and there are numerous paintings of the ocean on the walls.

"I've been thinking of you in this room ever since you agreed to come to Aspen with me" Christian kisses me deeply.

"What about…?" I gesture to the door nervously.

"Don't worry…the room is sound proof" he explains. "When I had the interior of the plane remodeled I requested the bedroom/office be sound proof as I expected to need to conduct business on here. There have been occasions when I'm flying with employees or even potential companies that we are buying out and need to make a call that I don't want them to overhear. Having you in here though makes me even more grateful for the sound proofing."

"Very good thinking" I moan as Christian nips on my ear.

Christian slowly undresses me, kissing my body as he removes each piece of clothing. He gently removes my walking cast before urging me to lay on the bed. Before Christian can join me, I quickly sit up and pull him towards me. I unbutton his shirt, sliding it off of him kissing his abs as it falls to the floor. I unbutton his pants, easing them down along with his underwear before taking his hard erection into my mouth. He moans in surprise at this gesture; I grasp his firm ass with my hands and pull him into my mouth further. I alternate between taking him deep and sucking on just the tip, within minutes he is moaning loudly above me. He suddenly pulls out of my mouth and I look at him confused. He doesn't say anything but lays me back on the bed before kneeling in front of me. He pushes my thighs apart and pulls me to the edge of the bed; my legs are over his shoulders and my ass his barely on the bed.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he mouth finds my sex.

His mouth is all over me; sucking, biting, licking me everywhere. He isn't focused on one area, I never know where he is going to be next which adds to the pleasure. I can feel my body responding and am surprised at just how quickly the orgasm is approaching.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as his finger slides into me.

His mouth moves to my clit; he pulls it in with his teeth before flicking it his tongue which nearly sends me off the bed in pleasure. That small move has me on the edge, desperately needing my release. I'm moaning loudly now and find myself very thankful for the sound proofing in this room; there's no way I would be able to walk back out there if I knew that Gail and Taylor could hear me right now. I nearly scream as Christian curls his fingers deep inside of me, hitting that magical spot and I immediately come hard and loud against him. Christian gently lowers my legs and moves up to my lips, kissing me deeply letting me taste myself on his lips which is strangely arousing.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as Christian thrusts into me.

"Hold on baby" Christian instructs.

I wrap my arms around his neck as Christian wraps his arms around my back lifting me and moving us higher on the bed while never breaking our connection. Christian gently lays me back on the bed, slowly moving thrusting himself into me deeply.

"Oh baby" I moan as he hits that spot once again.

"You feel so good; so tight" he moans as he starts thrusting into me faster.

His mouth is on my neck, kissing me as his hands find their way to my ass lifting me so I'm even closer to him. We both moan loudly as he thrusts deeper inside of me while squeezing my ass. His mouth finds mine again, nearly crushing my lips as he thrusts deep and hard into me. As much as I love when Christian is gentle, there is something about having him be rough with me that turns me on so much more. I'm surprised that I enjoy it rough but I trust Christian completely to not take it too far and hurt me. It's just enough to add a little edge to our love making but nothing that would worry or scare me.

"Christian!" I yell, finding my release while he is deep inside of me.

"ANA!" Christian yells finding his own release.

We lay like this for several minutes, before Christian rolls us to the side as our breathing finally returns to normal. I suddenly find myself very tired, having been up since very early this morning and quickly fall asleep in Christian's arms. Sleep finds me easily; I sleep sounds until Christian wakes me some time later letting me know we need to get to our seats because we will be landing soon. I thought I was asleep only minutes, but obviously if we're landing in Aspen already I was asleep a lot longer. Taylor exits the plane first to pick up the rental car that he reserved for us; big surprise that it's a large black SUV with tinted windows which is standard for Christian. He quickly loads our luggage into the car and we start our drive to Christian's house. We slowly drive through the city before heading towards a more rural section; we slowly make our way through winding roads before coming to a gated home. To say the house is beautiful even from the outside would be an understatement. Before us is a moderately sized log home with a wraparound driveway leading to a large three car garage. I'm in awe as Christian leads me inside and the difference between Escala and this house has me speechless. Where Escala is mainly white, with cool crisp lines, this feels more like a home. The interior is warm and inviting with large plush sofas in the living room with a fire place separating the living room and kitchen. Christian leads me through the house showing me the state of the kitchen complete with top of the line appliances, a formal dining room, a den, a small apartment for Gail and Taylor before leading me upstairs with there are three bedrooms in addition to the master bedroom. The master bedroom has a large private balcony complete with hot tub overlooking the valley.

"Christian….this place is beautiful" I say in awe.

"I'm so glad you like it" he whispers in my ear, pulling me close against him as we take in the view.

"I can't believe you don't come here more often, it's so relaxing" I say as we sit in the living room watching the fireplace.

"It never seemed relaxing when I came here before" Christian admits. "I would always end up working anyway."

"Your family must enjoy coming here?" I ask.

"They do…we've spent some time here in the winters because everyone either skis or snowboards. That's the only time I've really been here since I owned the place. I think once I came by myself" he says.

Gail is busy in the kitchen unpacking the groceries that were delivered while Taylor is checking the outside of house and the security system. We enjoy the rest of the day at the house, just spending time together. Gail makes us a wonderful dinner as always and we decide to go to sleep early. Despite my nap on the plane, I'm still pretty tired from not sleeping the night before.

"Good Morning baby" Christian says kissing my lips as I begin to wake up.

"Morning" I smile.

"I was thinking we would do some shopping and sight-seeing today if you feel up to it" Christian suggests.

"That sounds nice" I say.

"Let's get some breakfast and we will head into town" Christian kisses me before getting out of bed.

We get dressed and head down to the kitchen where Gail is just starting the coffee. Christian lets Gail know that we will probably be out of the house most of the day and probably won't be home for dinner. He then tries to give Taylor the rest of the day off, but Taylor refuses and insists on accompanying us. We spend the day touring the city and going in and out of all the shops. I purchase a small snow globe from a boutique that we found and to Christian's dismay I refuse to allow him to pay for it. We almost got in a fight because I wouldn't let him pay but in the end he put his credit card away. The entire day Taylor and Christian are talking very quiet to one another whenever I'm not in ear shot; when I question Christian he blows it off. I can't help but wonder what they are hiding and if it has anything to do with Elena.

"I was thinking we would go back to the house for dinner" Christian says after several hours of shopping and sightseeing.

"Sure" I'm surprised because he originally planned to go out for dinner.

Taylor loads the rest of the bags into the car and we drive back to the house. Christian insisted on buying me a few new outfits saying what I brought with me wasn't warm enough for the chilly nights. I argued that I have a sweater but he wasn't hearing it and insisted on buying me a new jacket and a couple pairs of pants. I swear this man is trying to kill me with his spending! I finally win the battle and pay for the $20 snow globe and he in turns spends easily ten times more than that on me. Taylor brings us to the front of the house before taking the car to the garage. When we enter the house, everything is quiet and dark…I look at Christian confused.

"This way" he places an arm around my lower back and leads me into the dining room where a candle lit dinner is waiting for us.

"Christian….this is…how did you…." I stutter at the site before.

"I had a little help" he smiles.

There is a chilled bottle of wine in a bucket of ice on the side of the table; flowers and candles in the center of the table with two covered dishes in front of us. Christian pours us each a glass of wine before lifting the lids to discover a dinner consisting of crab stuffed salmon, rice pilaf and a vegetable medley.

"To another first" Christian raises his glass.

We clink our glasses and take each take a sip of the wine which of course compliments the dinner perfectly. We talk throughout dinner; Christian tells me about the renovations he had done since he bought the place. I learn Elliot completed most of the renovations including the private balcony off the master bedroom and the state of the art kitchen. There are several environmental friendly aspects of this log home including solar powered lights and solar panels. I learn that Grace and Carrick used to bring Christian, Elliot and Mia to Aspen every year when they were young so they could learn how to ski which is why Christian eventually bought this house.

"Would you like anything else?" Christian asks as he clears our plates.

"No, dinner was delicious though" I smile.

"Gail is a wonderful cook" he admits.

"That she is" I agree.

"Would you like to go upstairs?" he asks a few minutes later after the table is cleared.

"Sure" I answer even though it's a little early to call it a night.

Christian carries me up the steps before taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom. Christian squeezes my hand just before he opens the door; he seems nervous for some reason but I can't imagine why he would be nervous. As he opens the door I gasp…


	38. Chapter 38

_All characters belong to E.L. James_.

**Chpt. 38 APOV:**

The room before me is completely transformed; it looks nothing like the room we woke up in only hours before. There are vases of flowers everywhere; not a single surface isn't covered with flowers. The floor and bed are covered with rose petals; there are candles lit throughout the room as well. I look at Christian in complete shock but he doesn't say anything. He leads me into the room, closing the door behind us and sits me on the bed.

"Anastasia" He takes a deep breath before getting on one knee in front of me and immediately the tears fall from my eyes. "I love you with all my heart and I can't imagine my life without you. From the day we first bumped into each other I knew that you were going to change my life. I don't know if it was fate that kept bringing us together, but whatever it was I will forever be grateful for the Saturday morning conference call that was my only reason for being in the cafe the morning you spilled coffee on me. I will forever be grateful to Elliot for dragging my reluctant ass out to the club that night where I first held you in my arms. You have changed my life in so many ways, more than you will ever know. I am a better man because of you. I will give up everything I own, all of my money, my company just to see you happy. I love you and want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Anastasia, will you marry me?"

I'm speechless. The tears are literally pouring from my eyes as I sit in disbelief that this wonderful man on one knee in front of me wants to marry me.

"Baby? Say something" he says after a few minutes.

"I….Yes….I will marry you" I sob, dropping to the floor in front of him.

"You were scaring me" He smiles before handing me a small box.

I open the box to find a gorgeous ring; there are three large round diamonds set on a band of smaller diamonds. I'm pleased that the stones are not too big; I don't think I could handle something very large.

"Each diamond has a meaning" he says putting the ring on my finger. "Our past, our present and our future."

"It's perfect Christian, absolutely perfect" I say in awe.

"If you don't like it-" he begins.

"Shhhhhh…I love it" I kiss him deeply. "I love you; I can't imagine not spending every day with you. Never did I think I would ever be able to have a relationship with someone, to know the love that you have shown me or to feel so comfortable with someone that I can bare myself to them. My life was meaningless until I bumped into you, from that day on you brightened my life in every way possible."

"I love you Ana" he pulls me onto his lap kissing me deeply.

"I love you with all my heart Christian" I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me.

Christian's arms are tight around my waist, anchoring me to him and I barely notice that he is touching my scars. I never thought I would ever be able to be this close to someone, to trust someone this much but I know that with Christian everything is different. I know deep down he would never hurt me and knowing that now I can't imagine his hands anywhere but around me. Our kiss quickly becomes passionate as we both convey our love and happiness to each other. Our clothes somehow come off, my thoughts are too focused on Christian to understand how it all happened but he enters me gently right there on the floor in front of the bed in the exact position we were in when I said yes. Christian's eyes are on me the entire time and I can see how much he loves me. I begin to increase the pace in which I'm moving against Christian when I begin to feel the orgasm building. Our eyes never leave one another as we find our release quickly together.

"Did I hurt you like this?" Christian asks, his eyes full of worry.

"No, I'm surprised but it didn't hurt at all" I realize.

"I love you so much I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you when we make love" he whispers holding me tight against him.

"I'm fine, I promise" I kiss him deeply.

Christian lifts me onto the bed wrapping my legs around his waist, lying me beneath him so we are both more comfortable. Somehow he manages to move us without breaking our connection; I feel closer to him right now than I think I ever have. Christian rolls us onto our sides, so we are face to face and I immediately wrap my leg around his waist not ready for him to pull away from me yet. He holds me close to him; I listen to his breathing become slow and steady before I realize that he has fallen asleep. I chuckle realizing he fell asleep while still inside of me but don't give it much more thought before closing my eyes and falling asleep with my head on Christian's arm.

The bright sun finds my eyes the next morning and I realize Christian and I haven't moved all night. I am still wrapped in his arms, my leg is still around his waist holding him close to me and blushing I realize he is still inside of me. I try to move but Christian's grip tightens on me even more, pulling me tighter against him and in the process pushing me sex down against him more. I gasp in surprise when Christian's lips find mine as I feel him become hard while still inside of me. I've never felt anything like this but feeling him move and grow inside of me is very arousing.

"Good Morning my beautiful fiancé" Christian pulls away slightly.

"Hmmmmmmm Good Morning" I moan as he becomes fully erect.

"I love waking up with you" he kisses me deeply.

"I can tell" I giggle.

"Now this I could get used to" he says thrusting gently inside of me.

Christian's fingers find my nipple, gently pinching and pulling on it until I'm moaning in desire. My hips begin moving to their own accord, slowly moving against him as the desire continues to build. As the need increases so do my thrusts, I boldly grab his ass pulling him into me further as I try to get him to find that spot I've learned to love so much. In this position, or at this angle it doesn't seem to happen and I find myself on the brink of an orgasm desperately needing a release. Christian must sense my need as he quickly pulls me on top of him gently urging me to sit upright and instantly I feel him find that wonderful spot. He wraps his hands around mine, clutching me tightly as I begin to move against him.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh" I moan, increasing the pace and the force of the thrusts.

"You look so beautiful" Christian reaches up kissing me passionately.

"Oh God!" I scream as the orgasm takes over.

"ANA!" Christian screams my name moments later finding his own release deep inside of me.

I collapse on top of his chest, listening to his heart beating as we both try to come down from our intense orgasms. To say that my life has changed since I met Christian is probably the biggest understatement. When we first met never did I think that we would be lying here, his arms wrapped around me planning our future together. In all honestly, never in my life did I think I would ever find someone I could be trust so completely that I would come to crave their touch.

"What are you thinking about?" Christian asks a few minutes later.

"How much everything has changed since I met you" I smile up at him, kissing his soft lips.

"For both of us" he hugs me tighter.

We lay like this for some time, comfortable in each other's arms before finally deciding to get up and start our day. We make our way down to the kitchen where Gail greets both of us with a hug, surprising Christian I think. Taylor also congratulates us but opts to shake our hands before we sit down for breakfast.

"I know this is all sudden, but what kind of wedding do you want?" Christian asks. "Big, small? Indoor, outdoor?"

"I haven't really thought about it" I admit. "I think something small and intimate would be perfect. I love the idea of it being outside, maybe as the sun sets?"

"That sounds perfect" he smiles. "When?"

"Hmmmm…I graduate next month, then I hope to find a job so it might be sometime before I can take time off of work" I think aloud.

"You know you don't need to work right?" Christian asks.

"I know, but I'm going to" I say firmly.

"I think you should look into Grey Publishing" He replies quietly.

"The publishing company you own? I'm not going to be handed a job, I want to earn it" I say.

"I barely have anything to do with the company directly and certainly have nothing to do with their hiring practices. I am more involved in the financial aspects of the company, trust me when I say I will insure that I am not involved in any part of the application process should you chose to apply" he vows.

"Wouldn't it be weird though?" I ask. "When we get married and my last name is the same as the name of the company?"

"Mrs. Grey….that has a very nice ring to it" he smiles before kissing me.

"I'll think about it…there are a few other publishing houses in Seattle" I smile.

"Back to the wedding…what about a fall wedding?" Christian suggests.

"That would be nice" I agree. "It wouldn't be too hot for an outdoor wedding; I've always loved when the leaves begin to change colors."

"So either late September or early October then" he confirms.

"Yes," I say happily.

"Location?" he asks.

"I don't know….what are your thoughts?" I ask.

"Well…we could fly somewhere and get married on a beach? We could ask my parents if we could have it at their house…the ceremony could be by the water?" Christian suggests.

"Ohhhhhhh I like that idea" I admit. "It's still at the water but without the beach. I don't want all of our guests to walk through sand and have it in their shoes and clothes."

"We can talk to my parents when we get back, I'm sure they will agree to it" Christian says. "It's a few months after the Coping Together gala so it my mother will be looking for something else to start planning."

"Wait! You want to get married this fall? As in a few months from now?" I ask surprised.

"Of course! I'm not going to wait until next year to make you my wife" Christian says firmly. "It's taking everything in me not to jump in the jet right now and fly to Vegas."

"Definitely no Elvin weddings" I laugh. "Do you think we can plan an entire wedding in a few months?"

"Of course baby, don't you worry about that. I will have the best planners on it; my mother uses several that she is very happy with for all of her events" he says confidently.

"How many guests?" I ask.

"You said small….so what were you thinking? 300, 400 or under 100?" he asks.

"Under 100" I answer. "I just want the people who care the most about us to be there; I don't want it to be some event where we don't know anyone."

"That sounds perfect, under one hundred guests it is" he smiles.

"Christian?" I ask.

"Yes?" he answers.

"Did anyone know you were planning on proposing this weekend?" I ask curiously.

"Well, Gail and Taylor of course knew since they helped pull it all off" he blushes. "And Kate."

"Kate?" I ask surprised.

"Yes, I asked for her blessing or approval I guess you would say" he looks away.

"That's so sweet" I gush hugging him.

"I know you two have been close for so many years and I know how important she is to you so I felt it was important to have her give approval. Although I have to admit if she said no I would have asked you anyway" he laughs.

"Your family didn't know?" I ask surprised.

"No, I wanted to keep it a secret and if Mia knew…well it would probably be on the front page before we even landed in Aspen" he laughs.

"Very true" I smile.

"We're going to need to announce something formally speaking of the media" Christian complains. "They're going to hound us nonstop when we get back I'm sure….I'm actually surprised they haven't found us out here yet."

"Why do they care so much?" I ask.

"America's richest bachelor gets engaged? Are you kidding?! They've been waiting to link me with someone" he jokes.

"I guess I never thought of it like that. They really haven't been around very much" I admit.

"Not yet, but I'm sure once we go to the gala word will get out since you will be pictured wearing this lovely ring" he gently places a kiss on my new ring.

"So what if that's the announcement? It would give us an opportunity to bring attention to Coping Together which might raise additional contributions" I suggest.

"I like that idea" he admits. "That way the attention is not all about us; we can turn the attention to a wonderful cause."

"We just have to keep Mia quiet until then" I laugh.

"I'll offer to buy her a new car if she keeps her mouth shut until then" he says seriously.

"A new car?! Are you crazy?" I ask.

"Yes…but it will work, trust me" he answers.

"You're too much" I laugh.

The rest of the day is spent lounging in the house, enjoying the peaceful setting and the calmness of the surroundings. We watch the sunset from the hot tub on the balcony before falling asleep in each other's arms once again. I wake the next morning to find the bed empty; I don't remember Christian getting up during the night but he must have at some point because his side of the bed is cool. I check the bathroom only to find it empty. I quickly get dressed, before slowly heading downstairs to find Christian and Taylor sitting in the living room talking very quietly.

"Is everything okay Christian?" I can sense tension in the room as soon I hit the stairs.

"Baby! Let me help you!" Christian rushes towards me, scooping me up and bringing me to the couch. "You should have called me to help you with the stairs."

"I'm fine" I assure him. "What's going on?"

"Someone broke into Kate's apartment last night" Christian says quietly.

"Was she hurt? Was she there?" I ask immediately regretting leaving my phone upstairs.

"No, thankfully she was with Elliot when it happened. They arrived home pretty late but discovered it this morning" he says.

"Wait…I'm confused" I pause. "If they came home last night how did they not realize that someone broke into her apartment?"

"Well" Christian takes a deep breath. "It was your room that was broken into…nothing in the rest of the house was touched."

"Someone broke into my room? For what?" I ask shocked.

"We don't know" he admits. "Kate went into your room this morning to look for a pair of shoes she had given you; apparently they were the perfect shoes to go with her outfit today. She found your room literally turned upside down."

"Why would someone break into my room? I don't own anything of real value" I sigh.

"We're trying to figure that out now" Taylor speaks up.

"How is Kate?" I ask.

"Angry of course" Christian laughs. "She was screaming in the background threatening all sorts of bodily harm to the person who did this when Elliot called me earlier."

"Ana, I hate to ask….was there anything that you can think of that someone would want from you?" Taylor asks.

"Taylor, I swear there is nothing. I barely own anything…It's always been just the stuff I could carry between places I stayed. Christian started a book collection for me at Christmas and had given me a phone but other than I really didn't have anything of value. Did Kate say if it looked like anything was missing?"

"Nothing that stood out to her" Christian says.

"There's no cameras in her apartment building" I sigh.

"No and the street is so busy that we can't get a good view of anyone entering the building from nearby businesses" Taylor admits.

"I'd like to go see my room when we get back" I say a few minutes later.

"Ana, I don't –" Christian begins.

"Christian, I'm going to be the only person who knows if something is missing" I interrupt.

"Mr. Grey, I hate to admit it but she is right" Taylor agrees. "We can take extra security with us and the apartment will already be secured when we get there by Mike."

"Mike?" I ask.

"Kate's new security" Taylor answers.

"Oh, I'm sure she is loving that" I laugh.

"She reluctantly agreed to it" Christian says.

"We have also assigned security to all members of the Grey family" Taylor reports.

"Could this have been Elena?" I ask cautiously.

"It's possible" Christian sighs.

"We don't have any proof yet" Taylor admits.

"She seems to know how to cover her tracks" I say in frustration.

"We will get her" Christian vows.

"I thought you had someone following her?" I ask.

"We do" Taylor says angrily. "Apparently she slipped out a back door last night and he only saw her returning around two in the morning."

"He has been fired and replaced" Christian says firmly.

"Okay….when do we head back to Seattle?" I ask.

"We're scheduled to take off at noon" Christian's voice is full of disappointment.

"Ana….may I speak with you for a moment privately?" Taylor asks after we finish breakfast some time later.

"Taylor?" Christian asks concerned.

"Mr. Grey, it's nothing to be concerned about" Taylor assures him.

Christian sighs and reluctantly heads back to the living room before Taylor sits down next to me.

"Is everything okay?" I ask concerned that he wants to speak with me.

"Oh yes" Taylor smiles. "I still have that bag you asked me to insure arrived with us."

"Oh!" I exclaim. "I completely forgot, would you mind taking it upstairs to our bedroom?"

"Yes ma'am" Taylor agrees before leaving the dining room.

I walk back into the living room and curl on the couch next to Christian. He protectively wraps an arm around me bringing me closer to him.

"I'm sorry this happened" Christian says quietly.

"Christian, it's not your fault" I assure him.

"It's not how I wanted this trip to end" Christian whines.

"I know, but I still had a wonderful time" I smile.

"So did I" Christian kisses me deeply.

"Can you take me upstairs so I can start packing?" I ask a few minutes later.

"Gail can pack your bag for you" Christian says.

"No, that's okay. I want to do it" I reply.

"You know you're going to have to get used to having people to help you" Christian carries me up the steps.

"I know, but I there's something about her packing my panties that I need to get used to" I giggle.

"You know she is the one who washes your panties right?" Christian laughs.

"Yes" I blush. "But I can pack my own things at least."

"What's this?" Christian asks seeing the gift bag on our bed.

"It's your Valentine's Day present – well it was supposed to be for Valentine's Day" I smile.

"How….when….but…." Christian stutters.

"Kate brought it to your parents' house the other night when we were there for dinner. Elliot gave it to Taylor, who packed it with his stuff to bring it with us here" I explain.

"That's what Taylor wanted to talk to you about?" Christian asks.

"Yes, in all the excitement the other night" I smirk. "I completely forgot I had asked him to bring it."

"Can I open it?" He smiles like a kid at Christmas.

"Yes" I laugh.

Christian slowly unwraps the first gift which is a framed picture of us that the sky diving instructor took of us before we jumped from the plane. We both looked so happy in that picture, it's a day I will always remember. He smiles looking at the picture, clearly remembering the day fondly. He unwraps the second gift, the solar powered airplane and screams as he jumps from the bed.

"Ana! This is perfect!" He hugs me tight.

"It's solar powered so once it's charged it will light up and fly around the room" I show him the package.

"I love it!" he kisses me. "Thank you."

"You're not exactly the easiest person to shop for" I giggle.

"So I've been told" he laughs as he begins to open the package.

"You might want to wait until we get home for that" I point out.

"Party pooper" Christian smacks my ass playfully.

As soon as we arrive back in Seattle a few hours later we head directly to Kate's apartment much to Christian's disappointment. He does not like the idea of going there but Taylor assures him that it will be fine. Mike is at the apartment with Kate and Elliot, Sawyer is meeting us there and Taylor is already with us therefore Taylor feels the risk is minimal. Christian carries me up the small flight of steps into Kate's building but from there we are able to take the elevator to her floor.

"Ana!" Kate screams as we walk into the apartment.

"Kate! I've missed you!" I exclaim hugging her.

"So?" she asks happily.

She screams loudly seeing my ring and hugs me again. Elliot shakes Christian's hand congratulating him as the other guys just stand around the room awkwardly. Kate and I sit on the couch gushing over the proposal while the guys discuss the break in. I tune them out, not wanting to think about it right now but know that in a few minutes I'm going to have to go into the room.

"Baby?" Christian asks.

"I'm coming" I make my way down the hallway to my room.

I open the door and barely recognize the room I haven't stepped foot into in almost three months and it's not from my memory loss. The room has literally been torn upside down; books are thrown everywhere, the mattress is flipped over, the mirror on the closet door is shattered, clothes are thrown everywhere. I gasp as I look around, taking everything in.

"You don't have to do this" Christian whispers pulling me against him.

"Yes I do" I say with confidence.

"How can we help Ana?" Kate asks.

"I think if we can manage to get everything back maybe I can see if anything is missing" I answer.

We spend the next hour cleaning up the room which is not as easy as you would think since I'm the only one who really knows where everything went. Kate is able to figure most out as she has been in here several times but Christian was not as familiar with my room except when he helped me unpack. Slowly the room is put back together and looks more like the room I remembered. I find my bookbag under my bed and immediately open the front pocket sighing in relief when I take out the picture.

"Who is that?" Christian asks looking over my shoulder.

"My dad" I sigh. "I keep his picture in my schoolbag so he would always be with me. I'm so relieved it is still here."

"Does it look like anything is missing?" Kate asks.

"I don't see anything obvious" I admit.

"Maybe the person just meant to scare you?" Kate suggests.

"Maybe" I sigh.

"Ana, Taylor will arrange to have everything packed up and brought to Escala later this week" Christian says as we return to the living.

"No!" I blush at the thought of Taylor packing my underwear and bras.

"Ana, I will pack up your personal stuff and Taylor can handle the rest" Kate giggles.

"Thank you Kate" Christian laughs.

"The alarm company will be here within the hour and the locksmith was already here this morning to change the locks on the door" Mike explains. "Additionally, all windows have had extra locks installed to reinforce them."

"I doubt anyone is coming through the window since we live on the fifth floor" Kate laughs.

"Probably not, but better to be safe" Taylor points out.

"How about we all go out to dinner?" Elliot suggests.

"Baby? Do you feel up to it?" Christian asks me.

"I'm starving! Let's go" I answer.

"Great, just let me change my outfit" Kate runs off to her room.

"It's going to be awhile" Elliot laughs. "It takes her hours to find something to wear."

"I heard that Elliot!" Kate says as she emerges from her room moments later.

The four of us enjoy a wonderful dinner at a local steakhouse that Christian recommends; it felt nice to hang out with Kate again we haven't been able to see each other much since the accident. Now that I'm becoming more mobile we vow to spend more time together; Christian even suggests that Kate and Elliot come to Escala for dinner and a movie one weekend. Elliot seems really taken back by this explaining that Christian rarely invites his family over. Christian blows him off by saying that Elliot just shows up anyway so an invitation is not needed.


	39. Chapter 39

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 39 APOV:**

We return to Escala after dinner, both of us slightly giddy from the bottles of wine that Christian kept ordering. We had several toasts through the dinner by Kate and Elliot to celebrate our engagement; Elliot agreed to keep it from his parents until we have a chance to tell them ourselves. We decide to ask his family over for dinner one night this week at which time we will tell them our news.

"Let's go to bed soon to be Mrs. Grey ….I want to taste you" Christian says.

"Christian!" I blush, glancing around to make sure Gail or Taylor aren't in ear shot.

"It's true baby" he smirks, before lifting me up and carrying me up the stairs.

Christian closes the door as soon as we enter his room before lying me on the bed. He quickly bounces on the bed before his mouth finds mine, nearly crushing my lips as we kisses me with such passion. I can taste the wine on his tongue as he enters my mouth. His hands roam my entire body, stopping only momentarily to pinch my nipples or bring my ass closer to him. He is lying on top of me and I can feel his erection through our clothing which turns me on even more.

"I love you so much" he moans into my mouth.

"I love you too Christian" I run my hands along his back until I reach his ass and grip it tightly.

"Get naked" Christian declares.

"You're quite demanding when you're drunk" I giggle.

"Not drunk….just alcohol happy" he laughs.

"I can't get undressed with you on top of me" I point out.

"Oh" He says rolling off of me.

I don't think I've ever seen Christian drunk but I have to admit he is pretty funny when he drinks too much. I make my way out of bed, standing in front of Christian and purposefully taking my clothes off slowly. I'm down to my underwear when Christian grabs me by the waist and pulls against him. I gasp in surprise when yanks my underwear so hard that it tears apart.

"I'll buy you more" he mummers, nipping my stomach gently.

"You need to get undressed too" I giggle.

He stands up next to me but makes no effort to take off his clothes. I slowly pull his shirt off, kissing each one of his scars before unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down along with his underwear. I grasp his hot, firm erection in my hand stroking it slowly as a small drop of liquid appears at the surface. I bend down and lick the tip of his erection, tasting the liquid as he moans loudly.

"I want to taste you" he pulls me against him, his tongue thrusting into my mouth.

He guides me back to the bed, urging me to lay down before he joins me however he lays with his erection at my face and my sex at his. I blush at the realization of what is to come, remembering how much I've enjoyed this position in the past which arouses me even more. Christian moves closer to my sex, as I boldly grasp his erection guiding it to my mouth. I hear him moan as my tongue explores his erection just as he startles me by pulling me on top of him. He straddles my thighs around his head before pulling my hips towards his face.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh" I moan as his mouth finds my sex and I temporarily pull myself from him.

"You taste so good…I've missed how good you taste" He says as his tongue thrusts inside of me.

I feel his hips thrust against me as he silently tells me what he wants; my mouth immediately finds his erection taking him in as deep as I can in this position. Within minutes I find it difficult to concentrate as Christian's mouth latches on to my clit as his fingers thrust inside of me. I'm moaning loudly around his erection which he seems to enjoy as he begins pushes his erection further into my mouth. I can tell we are both close to finding our own releases while struggling to please the other one. My hands fondle his balls just as he curls in his inside of me hitting that spot I love so much. I moan loudly, pushing my hips against his face further as the orgasm comes over me. I scream around his erection as the orgasm rips through me which must push him further as without warning he thrusts inside my mouth empting himself into me. Swallowing in this position is not easy but I manage to take what I can before licking the remainder off of his still hard erection.

"I need to be in this sweet pussy" Christian thrusts a finger inside my still throbbing sex.

I blush, clearly drunk Christian likes to talk dirty which I'm surprised arouses me further. Christian gently pulls me off of him, urging me to turn around which I awkwardly do. Christian moves himself out of under me, placing his back against the head board before motioning for me to come closer.

"Come ride me baby" he says.

I can't help but blush at his words, but I do as he asks, crawling towards him before straddling him. His hands are at his side, clearly wanting me to take control right now. I grasp his rock hard erection, rubbing it against my damp sex before slowly taking him in. He is much deeper in this position; I feel so full as I start moving against him. My hands are on his chest, his hands on my hips urging me to move faster as I begin to feel the need arise again. His breathing increases and I can tell he is getting close to his own release; he suddenly grasps my hands and pulls them behind my back holding them there with one hand as he pulls me against him thrusting into me deeply. The moment my hands are restrained I immediately panic; the memories of my hands being restrained when Stephen beat me immediately flood me. I try to move my arms but Christian's grip is too tight; I struggle against him harder needing to break free.

"Baby what is it?" Christian stops everything, his eyes full of concern.

"My wrists….let go….don't…."I stutter.

"Oh god" He immediately releases my wrists and doesn't touch me. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't….I can't….you can't…." I can't seem to form a coherent sentence right now.

"Shhhhhh I won't, I promise Ana" He whispers into my ear.

We stay like this for I don't know how long, my head resting on his shoulder as he rubs my back gently. I can't seem to get the images of Stephen out of my head; no matter how hard I try I just keep seeing him beating me. I'm vaguely aware of Christian carrying me into the bathroom and setting me on the tub step. I pull my knees up, holding them close to me rocking back and forth listening to the bathwater run. A few minutes later, Christian lifts me up carrying me into the bathroom. I don't say anything but hold his arm firmly; I want him to stay with me but the connection between my brain and my mouth doesn't seem to be functioning right now. Christian somehow senses what I'm asking for, sliding into the tub behind me pulling me against him.

"Ana I'm so sorry….I shouldn't have done that" he whispers over and over in my ear.

"You didn't know" I assure him; the last thing I want is for him to feel guilty. This is my issue, not his.

"You told me he tied you to the bed before you ran away, I should have known that…." He says.

"He would hold my wrists behind my back when he would beat me too" I say quietly.

"I could kill the bastard for what he did to you," Christian tenses below me. "Ana, you have to know that I would never purposely hurt you."

"I know Christian" I sigh. "It wasn't that I thought you would hurt me just now. When you….when you held my wrists the memories of him beating me came flooding back. It had nothing to do with you; I know you won't hurt me."

"I'm so sorry, I will never to do that again, I promise" He vows.

We stay in the tub until the water is too cold to stand it before we return to Christian's bed. I finally feel myself calming down and my body is no longer as tense as it was when the flashbacks first came back. Christian pulls me against him, holding me against him tightly; neither of us having put pajamas on at this point but I barely notice it as I'm definitely becoming more comfortable with Christian seeing my body.

"Have you ever seen a therapist?" Christian asks cautiously.

"Yes" I chuckle. "I've seen several. I started seeing a school counselor in high school but I never told them about what happened at home. They didn't know I had run away at that point and I was so afraid to tell them because I assumed they would send me back to them. I saw a couple therapists on campus when I first started college and the homeless shelters would have someone meet with me whenever they would visit."

"Did any of them help?" Christian asks.

"No, they would try to give me coping mechanisms to deal with the nightmares but nothing ever worked. Well that's not true….one suggested I keep a journal of the nightmares and that worked-" I stop mid sentence.

"What is it?" he asks concerned.

"Oh my God" I gasp.

"Ana, what is it?" He sits up, pulling me against him.

"It wasn't there" I whisper.

"What wasn't where?" he asks confused.

"My journal" I pause. "It was at Kate's before the accident…I don't remember seeing it there tonight."

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"No…Yes….I don't know" I admit.

"We can check in the morning" he says.

"No, I need to go now" I quickly make my way out of bed gathering clothes to throw on.

"Are you sure you want to go now?" he asks.

"Yes…I need to know" I answer firmly.

"Let me get Taylor" he throws on a pair of jeans and t shirt before calling Taylor from his phone.

Minutes later Taylor is driving us to Kate's apartment; Mike informed Taylor that Kate and Elliot went back to Elliot's apartment therefore Sawyer is meeting us at Kate's to check the apartment before we arrive. I feel bad that I have this many people out in the middle of the night but I know I won't be able to sleep if I don't check. I guess Kate didn't feel safe yet at her apartment which is why they are at Elliot's apartment. She had said over dinner that Elliot was moving in next weekend but I guess he still has his apartment for now.

"Sir, ma'am Sawyer says the apartment is clear" Taylor says pulling up to Kate's apartment.

Like only hours ago, Christian carries me up the small flight of stairs to Kate's apartment building before allowing me to walk the rest of the way to the elevator. The elevator ride is quiet but tense; Christian's arms remain firm around my waist holding me tight against him. Sawyer meets us outside Kate's apartment, opening the door and I immediately go down the hall what is or at least was my bedroom. I try to lift the mattress but struggle until Christian holds it up; as I suspected there is nothing under there. I check my desk drawers and the bookshelf, but don't find it.

"It's not here" I whisper.

"Are you sure?" Christian asks.

"Yes, I'm positive. I kept it under my mattress so no one would find it; I thought maybe Kate would have put it in my desk or on the bookshelf but it's not there. It's not in my book bag either" I explain.

"We need to tell Taylor" Christian leads me back to the living room where Taylor and Sawyer are waiting for us.

"Ana?" Taylor asks.

"My journal….it's not here" I say.

"I hate to ask" Taylor pauses.

"I would write down what I remembered from the nightmares" I say vaguely.

"I see" Taylor says angrily.

"Why would someone want that? How would they even know about it?" I ask.

"Did you ever show it to anyone?" Taylor asks.

"No! No one has ever read it" I answer quickly.

"Did anyone see you writing in it?" he asks after a few minutes of silence.

"I don't know….I guess" I pause to think about it. "I stopped writing in it more than a year ago but before….I would sometimes write in it at the shelters when…."

"So it's likely someone at one of the shelters knew about the journal" Taylor suggests.

"I suppose" I agree.

"Taylor what are you thinking?" Christian asks.

"I don't know….but it seems like whoever came here knew exactly what they were looking for. Someone had to tell them what it looked like or that Ana even kept a journal" Taylor explains.

"But why would they want it?" I ask confused.

"I don't know" Taylor admits.

"Let's go back to Escala" Christian says a few minutes later.

The ride back to Escala is quiet but the tension in the air is thick. I can't help but wonder why someone would want my journal; what would they hope to accomplish with it? I cringe at the thought of someone reading my journal; it wasn't only vivid recounts of nightmares but also memories of the beatings when sometimes panic would take over. I had completely forgotten about the journal until Christian asked me about seeing a therapist; I stopped writing in it so long ago because I didn't feel it was helping. I should have gotten rid of it then; I don't know why I held onto it.

"Baby, I will find who did this" Christian vows as we sit in the great room at Escala.

"How?" I ask.

"I don't know" he sighs. "But I promise you I will find the person who took your journal."

"Christian….what if they take it to the media when they learn of our engagement? Oh my God, then everyone will know…." I gasp.

"I won't let them" he promises. "I don't care if I have to buy every newspaper and media outlet, they will not print details of what happened to you."

"Ana? Can I ask you something?" Taylor comes into the great room some time later as Christian and I zone out with the television on neither of us really paying attention to it.

"Of course Taylor" I sit up so I'm no longer laying against Christian.

"Was your name on the journal?" Taylor asks.

"No" I say after thinking about it.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes….I never put my name on it because I was afraid someone would find it or I would leave it when I was between places to live" I assure him.

"That was a smart move" Christian rubs my back.

"Is anyone's name mentioned in the journal that could be linked back to you?" Taylor asks.

"No, I never used his name" I answer confidently; I can barely say Stephen's name now, there was no way I could write it after a nightmare.

"We can deny anything if it gets to the media" Christian realizes.

"Exactly" Taylor points out.

"But it is my hand writing" I admit.

"Without a hand writing expert it couldn't be confirmed; they would have to analyze your current hand writing against the journal" Taylor says.

"They could still link it back to me" I sigh.

"It would be less likely, but I suppose it's a possibility" Taylor agrees.

"Thank you Taylor" Christian dismisses him.

"Christian, can I ask you something?" I lean back against him.

"Of course" he answers quickly.

"What does Taylor know about my….past?" I ask.

"I haven't told him anything" Christian says confidently, and I believe him. "I had a background check ran on you-"

"What?" I sit up.

"Don't be mad" he says cautiously. "When we first kept running into each other, I had to know who you were. I ran it after seeing you at my mother's Christmas dinner at the restaurant that night; I had to find out who you were."

"I see" I sigh.

"Baby, your background check doesn't say anything…it didn't tell me anything about what happened" he says.

"I figured as much…it's not like he took me to the hospital after he beat me" I say with disgust.

"Taylor and Welsh saw the background report, which is something I run on all my employees and really anyone I come in contact with. It was Welsh who ultimately tracked down where you were living right before you moved in with Kate" He explains.

"Okay" I reply, still uncertain how I feel about all of this.

"Other than Taylor seeing the background report he doesn't know anything" Christian says.

"But he didn't so much as flinch when I said about the nightmares" I point out.

"Ana, he has heard my nightmares over the years and unfortunately I'm sure he has heard yours…he's a smart man" Christian sighs.

"That's true" I agree.

"What are we going to do Christian?" I ask as we sit watching the sun rise through the windows.

"I don't know baby, but I'm going to figure it out" he holds me tighter against him.

After a very long night and an eventful day, I finally close my eyes and let the exhaustion take over. My mind continues to race with thoughts of my nightmares being printed on the front page of every tabloid but I have to trust in Christian and his team that they can prevent it. I don't care if the media finds out I was homeless or lived in boarding homes; I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of that. It was something I had to do in order to further my education. I'm proud of how far I have come since the days I had to live in a shelter or spend the night at a bus station. The thought of my nightmares becoming public knowledge though terrifies me to no end. I wake up some time later, alone on the couch still in the great room but now covered under a blanket. The sun is high outside the balcony doors so I know I've been sleeping for quite a while; looking at the clock my suspicions are confirmed when I see it is well past noon. I know I shouldn't be so surprised that I slept so late into the day given everything that happened the night before, but I can't remember the last time I woke for the day at noon. I decide to get up and find Christian seeing that he is no longer on the couch with me.

"Good Morn…afternoon Ana" Gail greets me as I enter the kitchen.

"Hi Gail…do you know where Christian is?" I ask.

"Mr. Grey and Taylor have been in Mr. Grey's office most of the morning" she answers.

"Thanks" I say.

I walk down the hallway to Christian's office where I hear several voices coming from before it suddenly gets quiet again. I cautiously knock on the door not wanting to interrupt if he is in an important meeting with people from his office.

"Come in Ana" Taylor opens the door.

"Hi baby" Christian kisses me on the cheek.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"We just finished a conference call from Barney and Welsh, come sit down and I will explain everything that is going on" he ushers me to the couch.

"If you need me sir" Taylor says leaving the room.

"Thank you Taylor" Christian says.

"You seem much calmer than I expected" I observe.

"I feel calmer" He smiles. "We've been very busy over the last couple of hours. We have contacted every major newspaper in the Seattle area and have offered them a deal they cannot refuse should someone contact them with information about you."

"A deal?" I ask confused.

"Let me start at the beginning…so both assume that whoever took the journal did so with the intention of taking it to the media. I promised each media outlet an exclusive interview with pictures after a very important announcement is made in early June to publisher who brings me the person who tries to ruin your name" Christian says proudly.

"I'm shocked…I don't know what to say" I admit.

"You don't have to say anything" he kisses me on the cheek. "Reporters have been after me for years to give an exclusive interview. I keep my private life very private and almost every interview I have ever conducted is the exact same. My plan is that we meet with the paper who helps us nab this bastard the morning of the Coping Together Gala providing them with the exclusive details of our engagement as well as an engagement picture. It will be a short interview, but something that they will be instructed to publish online at the exact time we arrive at the gala therefore giving them the edge on all the other reporters."

"So now we just sit back and wait?" I ask.

"Yes" he sighs. "But baby, trust me this plan will work. People will care more about getting an interview with us than a journal that they can't even be certain belonged to you."

"How do they know about us?" I ask.

"Apparently we were pictured last night outside the restaurant" he smiles.

"I didn't even notice a photographer" I admit.

"There wasn't one" he explains. "A customer recognized me and took a picture with their phone of us having dinner. That person happened to be a reporter who wasn't working at the time but they ran with the story anyway."

"Is it bad?" I cringe.

"No, here see if yourself" he leads me over to his computer monitor.

Sure enough, there is a picture of us sitting at the restaurant last night holding hands. The headline reads: _Is Christian Grey finally taken? Stay tuned ladies as we learn more…_

"It's not as bad as I expected" I admit.

"Me either" he agrees.

"You really think this plan will work?" I ask hesitantly.

"I do" he says confidently. "The only motivation someone would have for taking the journal is to tear you apart in the media hoping I will leave you rather than have my name linked to it. I think they assume I don't know about what happened to you or that I'm so selfish that I would leave you because someone printed something bad about you. They obviously don't know how much I love you."

"What if they try to blackmail me?" I ask.

"Welsh thought that might be a possibility….if they try to blackmail either of us chances are they will do so with the threat of going to the media. Given our arrangement with the media outlets we will call their bluff, once they go to the media we will arrange a meeting through them to meet with the individual" he explains.

"Did the police find any prints at the apartment?" I ask.

"No," he sighs. "Whoever did this knew how to break into the apartment without causing any damage and knew enough not to leave any fingerprints behind."

"I see" I say disappointed.

"Let's not think about that right now" He hugs me tight against him. "Let's go grab some lunch or I guess for you some breakfast."

The next couple of days pass by quietly; there is no contact from any media outlet about the journal nor has anyone received a blackmail threat. We plan to have Christian's family over for dinner on Friday night to announce our engagement; we wanted to do it earlier but his mother is working evenings until then plus with everything going on it seemed like it would be a good idea to wait a few days to see if anything came about with the journal. The first couple of days went by very slowly; it was almost as if we were waiting for something to happen. As the days passed by and nothing happened, I started to relax a little. Friday arrives before I know it and I spend the day helping Gail prepare dinner and make the chocolate cake for desert that I have tried to make several times now but without success.

"Wow baby….you're a mess" Christian laughs coming into the kitchen as Gail puts the cake in the oven.

"You're home early" I kiss him before wiping my flour covered hands on his face.

"I thought I would come home to see if you need help before everyone gets here for dinner" he smiles.

"Gail and I have everything just about covered" I explain.

"Do I smell chocolate?" Christian asks.

"It's for desert" I warn.

"Gail, do you need my fiancé's assistance any longer or can I take her upstairs and clean her up?" Christian asks.

"I can handle the rest Mr. Grey" Gail smiles.

In one quick movement, Christian picks me up and carries me up the steps taking me into his room before setting me down. The sexual tension between us is thick; we haven't been intimate since the night he held my wrists behind my back. He's been working late hours, often coming to bed after me but in reality I think he has been avoiding the intimacy because of what happened. He hasn't wanted to talk about it but really neither have I. I wrap my arms around Christian's neck, leaning up and kiss his soft lips, slowing running my tongue along them. I can feel him holding back, his body is tense but I don't stop; I gently push my tongue into his mouth just as my hand finds his hard erection between us. He gasps, but his hands don't move from my hips however his tongue slowly begins to respond to mine. Gaining more confidence, I reach between us and unbutton his pants pushing them down so they fall to his ankles. I take his suit jacket off before unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it down his arms. He stands before me naked, but his lips remain the only thing touching me. I step back from him, leaving him breathless as I take off my own clothes leaving them in a pile on the floor next to his. I step back to him, standing so close to him that his erection is against my sex and my breasts push against his chest.

"Christian….I miss you baby" I nip at his ear, rubbing my sex against his hard erection.

"Oh God…I've missed you" His hands slowly wrap about my back, holding me close to him.

"I want you" I tell him.

"I don't want to hurt you" he whispers.

"You won't" I assure him.

"But what if I do something again?" he asks worried.

"Just don't hold my wrists" I tell him.

"I won't, I promise" he vows.

"Then you won't hurt me" I say.

"But…." He stutters.

"Do you want me?" I ask bluntly.

"Every day, all day" he answers.

"Make love to me Christian" I blush but manage to get the words out.

Apparently that's all it takes, seconds later his mouth crushes against mine as his hands roam up and down my body. He leads me to the bed, his mouth never leaving mine as we climb onto it and lay down next to each other. After several days of not feeling Christian's hands on me, my body responds quickly. I can feel his erection coated with my juices as he rubs it back and forth against me. He urges me onto my back before moving above me.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as his lips find my nipple, sucking it hard.

"You're so wet" Christian says, making me blush deeply.

"Christian….please" I pant.

"I got you baby" he says thrusting into me in one swift move.

He moves in and out of me slowly, staying deep inside of me and never pulling completely out. His lips never leave mine, my hands roam his back and his firm ass as he continues to drive me closer to the edge. Our connection is different today; he is gentler, almost as if he is trying to show me how much he loves me in his movements. He never holds my wrists, not that I expected him to after what happened the last time we were together but I know he was concerned about it.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he rubs against my clit, pushing himself in deeper.

"You feel so good" he nips at my ear.

"Christian….I'm so close….Please" I beg.

"With me baby" he thrusts into me harder which sends us both over the edge as we moan loudly finding out release together.

"I love you" I say breathless as he continues to move slowly in and out of me.

"I love you so much Ana" he kisses me deeply. "I could stay like this all night."

"We would miss dinner with your parents then" I point out.

"Who cares, I'm going to stay right here" he continues to move himself inside of me.

"How about for now, we get ready for dinner but later we resume this" I say tightening around him.

"Oh, don't do that baby…" he moans as I feel him twitch inside of me.

"Dinner with your parents," I say firmly.

"If we must" he slowly withdraws from me before helping me stand up.


	40. Chapter 40

_Author's Note: Thank you for the wonderful reviews, feedback and support with this story. I am truly touched that so many of you are enjoying this story; I love reading every one of your reviews!_

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James_.

**Chpt. 40 APOV:**

"Christian?" I ask as we finish getting dressed following a shower.

"Yes?" he answers.

"Should I take off my ring until we tell everyone?" I ask.

"What? No!" he looks shocked that I would suggest it.

"If I don't, your parents will see it the moment they walk through the door" I point out.

"I suppose" he sighs clearly not liking the idea.

"I'll put it back on as soon as we tell them at dinner" I promise.

"I guess we will need to do that when we go out in places where we might be photographed together until the Coping Together Gala" his voice is full of disappointment.

"How about on those days I wear it on a necklace? That way I'm still wearing it but no one will know it's an engagement ring?" I suggest.

"I guess….I really want to just leave it on your finger and have it never come off" he kisses the ring before taking it off of my finger.

"Soon" I kiss him. "After the gala I won't take it off."

"You better not!" he pulls me close to him hugging me tightly.

"We should head downstairs…they should be here any minute" I say.

Christian carries me downstairs and we sit on the couch in the great room nervously waiting for his parents and sister to arrive. I don't know why I'm so nervous, but my stomach is in knots just thinking about telling them about our engagement. Christian pulls me tight against him, gently rubbing my shoulders and back clearly sensing my nervousness. Gail is putting the finishing touches on the dining room table as Taylor announces that Christian's family is on their way up in the elevator.

"Don't worry, they love you" Christian whispers into my ear as we stand.

"I know" I smile but still can't help but feel nervous.

"Christian, Ana thank you for having us for dinner" Grace walks into the great room only moments later.

"Christian!" Mia exclaims nearly jumping on Christian hugging him.

"It's wonderful to see you again Ana" Carrick says lightly kissing me on the cheek.

"You too Mr. Grey" I blush.

"Please it's Carrick" he reminds me.

Elliot kisses me on the cheek like his father; Kate wraps her arm around my shoulders sort of side hugging me careful not to touch my back. I realized she isn't sure where it is okay to touch and where it's not, one thing I know I eventually need to discuss with her. She whispers in my ear asking if I'm okay, obviously knowing why we gathered everyone here tonight and I just nod in response not knowing what to say. Am I okay? Of course, just nervous as hell!

"Ana, you look wonderful" Grace says.

"Thank you" I blush.

"No thank you dear. You have brought my son to life" she whispers in my ear as we hug, her arms careful to stay around the middle of my back.

"Ana!" Mia exclaims rushing towards me.

I immediately tense as Mia quickly approaches me; I've become so comfortable with Christian touching my back but I know if someone else touches it I will freak out. Christian quickly pulls on Mia's arm warning her to calm down before she reaches me. Much to my surprise her arms wrap around my upper arms, hugging me close to her but never touching my back. As she let's go a few seconds later I let out the breath I was holding, relieved that she didn't wrap her hands around my waist. Gail announces that dinner is being served and we make our way to the dining room where an array of dishes cover the table.

"Gail, this smells wonderful! You did an amazing job as always" Grace compliments.

"Thank you Mrs. Grey" Gail smiles before leaving the room.

Christian takes my hand under the table, squeezing it before I feel him slip my ring back onto my finger. The knots in my stomach immediately return as I know this means he is about to announce our engagement to his parents. He patiently waits for a break in the conversation before tapping on his glass; everyone quickly stops what they are doing and turn to Christian. I can feel the heat rise to my face; Christian squeezes my hand trying to reassure me.

"Thank you all for joining us for dinner tonight" Christian begins.

"It only took you four years of living here to finally invite us over for dinner!" Mia exclaims and everyone chuckles around the table.

"As I was saying" Christian smirks at Mia. "Ana and I asked you here tonight because we wanted to share some important news. Before I go any further, I need to ask that what I am about to share with you be kept between us for right now."

"I promise" Mia looks excited but is the only one who answers as Christian is looking directly at her.

"While we were in Aspen last weekend, I asked Ana to marry me and she said yes" Christian announces.

"I knew it!" Mia exclaims happily.

"Congratulations son" Carrick says shaking Christian's hand.

"I'm so happy for you both" Grace wipes the tears from her eyes before coming over to hug both of us.

"Why the big secret?" Mia asks.

"Neither of us prefer being the center of attention when it comes to our private lives so we decided we would like to announce our engagement at the Coping Together Gala in June. This way whenever someone searches for news of our engagement it will be linked to Coping Together which we hope will raise awareness and donations for the services they provide" Christian explains.

"Have discussed any plans yet?" Kate asks.

"We are thinking of a late fall wedding, in September or early October" I answer.

"Well, that gives us more than a year to plan-" Kate says.

"No, we are planning on this fall" Christian interrupts.

"That's not much time to plan a large event like a wedding" Grace points out.

"It won't be very large" Christian says.

"We are thinking of less than a hundred guests" I explain.

"Oh, that's not big at all. It will be a lot of work but assuming we can find a venue it shouldn't be a problem" Grace says.

"We were hoping to have it at your home if you wouldn't mind" I ask.

"Oh" Grace gasps in surprise.

"We would be honored" Carrick says.

"I can talk to my mom about designing a dress for you if you want Ana" Kate offers.

"If you think she has time that would be wonderful" I gush. Kate's mom is a phenomenal dress designer, often featured in bridal magazines.

"For you Ana, she will always have time" Kate says. I've met her parents on several occasions, they are wonderful kind people.

"We were hoping you could recommend a caterer Grace," I request. "Christian mentions that you have used several for events in the past."

"Yes, I have two that I am confident would do a wonderful job for your wedding" her voice is still shaky from the surprise of our announcement. "They are the only two that I have used for the last few events because of job they do."

"Thank you Mom" Christian replies.

"Have you thought about flowers? Or favors? Oh, what colors are you thinking?" Mia blurts out, suddenly finding her voice.

"We haven't figured all that out yet" Christian laughs.

"I think fall colors would be nice," I say a few minutes later. "Soft, warm earth tones."

"How pretty" Mia gasps.

"That would be beautiful Ana" Grace compliments.

"Mom, Mia we would appreciate any assistance and recommendations you could provide with planning this event. I know you both have planned so many charity events before…" Christian asks.

"Of course darling, anything you need" Grace beams.

"I can't wait to start planning!" Mia exclaims.

"We should pick an actual date in the next week or so; that will give us enough time to book the caterer and the other vendors you will need" Grace says as we return to our dinner.

"Ana, if Mom promises to keep it a secret I would like to share the news so she can begin thinking about your dress" Kate asks.

"We will need all vendors to sign a Non Disclosure Agreement before any information can be shared" Christian says firmly.

"Christian…it's Kate's mom I'm sure-" I begin.

"No, it's fine Ana" Kate interrupts. "He's right to ask everyone to sign an NDA, especially my family."

"Oh" I quickly realize why Christian mentioned it right now; Kate's father owns several media outlets.

"If you forward it to me Christian I will have both my parents sign it before I share the news with my mom" Kate says.

"Thank you Kate, I appreciate you understanding" Christian relaxes, obviously thinking Kate would fight him on this.

"When can I start planning the bachelor party?" Elliot finally speaks up.

"Elliot!" Kate slaps him on the arm.

"There will be no bachelor party" Christian announces firmly.

"Party pooper" Elliot mumbles.

"I would recommend you both start thinking about your guest list. A hundred people isn't very many, so you might want to start now so you can make sure that number is reasonable and if needed cut the list down if it's too high" Grace suggests.

"We both want a small, intimate wedding so the one hundred number is pretty firm but you have a point so we will begin coming up with the guest list" Christian says.

The rest of the dinner surrounds talk about our wedding plans; my mind keeps going back to the guest list. Really, other than Kate there is no one I planned on inviting to our wedding. I'm certainly not going to invite my lousy excuse of a mother and I have no other family. Kate is the only one who has been there for me over the last few years…

"You okay?" Christian whispers as we are all finishing our dinner.

"Yes sorry, just tired" I lie and looking in his eyes he knows I'm lying but I'm not getting into this here.

"Mr. Grey, are you ready for desert?" Gail quietly enters the dining room.

"Please Gail" Christian answers.

"Let me help you" I quickly stand from my chair, needing to step away for a few minutes.

Christian doesn't say anything but squeezes my hand as I pass by his chair following Gail to the kitchen. I busy myself checking over the cake as my body slowly relaxes. I'm surprised that the thought of guest lists didn't enter my mind before today, but quickly I'm picturing all the guests seated on Christian's side of the aisle and no one at mine. Well, maybe I could invite Kate's parents; they've been wonderful to me since I've met them and with her mom potentially designing my dress it would seem appropriate.

"Are you okay Ana?" Gail asks.

"I'm fine" I sigh.

"If you need to talk or need help planning I'm always here" Gail squeezes my shoulder before getting everything ready for desert.

"Thank you Gail, I appreciate that" I smile.

"Ana, the cake looks delicious" Christian says as Gail serves everyone.

"Well, I had some help" I admit.

"You did most of the work Ana" Gail says.

The rest of the night passes my smoothly, with minimal talk about the wedding instead the focus is on Mia's new assistant chef position at a secret restaurant. Although she has not shared the name of the restaurant she is working at something tells me that Christian already knows this information as I'm sure it's something that would easily come up in a background check if he had one ran on her. The night winds down, everyone eventually leaving and the penthouse is once again quiet. Overall I think the announcement of our engagement went well; his family seemed genuinely happy with the news.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Christian asks as we get ready for bed shortly afterwards.

"I hadn't thought about the guest list before" I answer quietly.

"What do you mean? What about the guest list? Do you think we need to plan more than a hundred people?" Christian asks.

"That's just it" I sigh. "Christian, I don't really have anyone to invite."

"You have Kate" he says.

"Besides her and maybe her parents and brother, I have no one" I explain. "I just starting picture the wedding ceremony; your side completely full of people and mine empty."

"Baby" he pulls me onto his lap, holding me close to his chest. "Don't worry about that, the people who matter the most to you will be there."

"But…" I whine.

"No buts" he kisses me on the top of my head. "We won't have guests sit on sides for the ceremony; I always hated that when I was a guest anyway. Like if you're a guest of both the bride and the groom where do you sit?"

I chuckle at his attempt to lighten my mood but it only reinforces the realization that I haven't been to very many weddings either.

"Christian, I know nothing about planning a wedding" I admit.

"Neither do I" he smiles. "We will hire a wedding planner who should at least be able to guide us in the right direction."

"I don't know how I feel about a stranger planning our wedding" I admit after thinking about it for a few minutes.

"What if we asked Mia to take the lead and plan it?" He suggests.

"Do you think she would?" I ask.

"Are you kidding? She loves to plan events with Mom; we will just need to reign her in every so often so she doesn't go overboard" he laughs.

"That's true" I giggle.

"We can get some of those bridal magazines…I'm sure they would have ideas you might like" he suggests.

"Do you think Mia will have the time with her work schedule?" I ask.

"She only works part time, usually only three days a week" He answers.

"Do I want to know how you know that?" I smirk.

"No" he smiles realizing that I know he ran a background check to find the information out.

"Let's go to bed" he says after I yawn.

I quickly change into one of the silk nightgowns that I keep in his closet and begin to wonder if we should just move my stuff up here from the room downstairs. We haven't slept in that room in at least a couple of weeks now; Christian's bed is much bigger and more comfortable than the bed downstairs. I'm slowly working on stairs in physical therapy and I'm sure it will only be another month or so before I can manage these stairs by myself. I could always keep an extra set of clothes somewhere downstairs just in case but I'm sure if something happened Gail would grab something from his closet for me. Hearing him start to breath heavily I realize this is a conversation that will have to wait until tomorrow; I close my eyes sleep easily finding me.

_"Oh look Carla…someone is still here doing nothing" He says slyly as he walks through the door._

_"You didn't clean while we were gone?" Mom asks._

_"I did the dishes, cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed" I answer quietly._

_"This place is a fucking pigsty!" He kicks the coffee table over, magazines and paper flying around the room._

_"You were supposed to clean the entire place Ana" Mom says; I can tell she is disappointed and angry with me. _

_I know what's coming, as I try to sink into the corner of the couch. Even though I did exactly what she told me to do before they left hours ago, I knew it wouldn't be enough. I glance around really not seeing the pigsty that he thinks this place is. It's cluttered, but it's a trailer what else can he expect? There's no room to store anything and the bedrooms are very small._

_"I think you need to be reminded how to follow orders" he screams. _

_"No, please…" I beg. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again!"_

_"You're going to scrub the kitchen and bathroom floors before bed tonight" Mom says sternly._

_"Okay" I sob._

_"And you will go to bed without dinner tonight" she adds._

_Considering it's nearly midnight, I don't tell her that I already had a granola bar for dinner hours ago. There is no food here anyway so it's not like she was planning some big extravagant dinner._

_"She needs to be taught a lesson" he stands up removing his belt._

_"No…" I beg but know it's useless._

_"Put your ass over the couch here" he says sternly._

_"Please….don't….I'm sorry" I sob._

_"The sooner you let him do this the quicker it will be over" Mom takes my hand pulling me off the couch. _

_"NO!" I scream._

_He grabs my hair, pulling me closer to him before pushing me over the arm of the couch. I try to push away, push myself off the couch but I can't; he is so strong. Mom holds my hands above my head so I can't push off the couch and I scream as the belt lands on my thighs hard. Neither of them say anything, but continue to hold me down as the beating continues. It's all over tonight; my back, my ass, my thigh even the back of my knees. My screaming and crying doesn't stop him, nothing stops him…_

_End flashback_

"Baby…it's okay" I hear Christian whispering in my ear.

Startled I try to pull away, but his arms wrap around me tighter, holding me against his chest tightly. After a few minutes of struggling, I give in and let him hold me as my body begins to relax against his. It's only then do I realize that it has been more than a week since I've had a nightmare; I've never gone that long without a nightmare. Unless, maybe I had one and didn't wake up from it, I wonder.

"Christian?" I whisper.

"Yes baby?" he gently kisses my cheek.

"I haven't had a nightmare since before we left for Aspen right?" I ask.

"No, the last one was the morning we left" He answers. "Why?"

"I've never gone that long without a nightmare" I admit quietly.

"Maybe talking about it is helping" he suggests. "You've been more open lately about them and everything that happened."

"Maybe" I wonder.

"Do you want to talk about this one?" he asks a few minutes later.

"It was the first time my mother helped him" I say quietly.

"She helped him?" his voice is barely above a whisper and I can hear the shock.

"She held my hands down while he was beating me so I couldn't get away" I explain

"Why?" he asks.

"They came home drunk one night from a bar. Before they left she gave me a list of chores she wanted done; I had them all done hours before they came home but he insisted the place was a pigsty and I needed to be punished for not following orders" I sigh. "After the beating, I was made to scrub the kitchen and bathroom floors and go to bed without dinner."

"Dinner? You said it was after midnight" he says.

"I don't think she realized that" I smile sadly. "I had already eaten a granola bar for dinner hours before but of course I didn't tell her that."

"A granola bar was your dinner?" He asks.

"There was no food in the house but I had a granola bar leftover from lunch at school" I answer simply.

"Why would someone treat their own child like that?" His voice is full of sadness and anger. "How could she not have food in the house? Why didn't she stop him?"

"Christian…" I feel his body tensing below me.

"Hmmmmm?" he mumbles but pulls me closer against him.

"Look at me" I say.

He doesn't say anything and several minutes pass before his eyes finally find mine. One look at him and I know what I thought was happening was true. Talking about my mother triggered his own memories of his mother failing to protect him and provide him with food. Our childhoods are not as different as I once thought they were; we both suffered greatly and both of our mothers failed to protect us from horrible monsters.

"I'm sorry your mother didn't protect you from him" I whisper.

"My mother? No, this is about you…" he mumbles, his body still tense below me.

"Christian, it's okay" I kiss him several times on his cheek gently making a trail to his soft lips. "They were both horrible mothers."

"Ana" he sighs, his grip tightening around my waist. "We are some match."

"I'd like to think it helps us understand what the other is going through" I point out. "Who else would understand my nightmares the way you do."

"I suppose you're right" he admits sadly.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" I ask after a few minutes of silence.

"I need to feel you" he runs his hands up and down my body.

"I thought you were" I say.

"Can you take this off? I need to feel your skin against mine" he tugs at my nightgown.

"Oh" I blush but sit up and take off my pajamas.

He grabs me and pulls me close to him, skin to skin and I'm immediately calmed by this. Within minutes his body relaxes against me and our breathing both slows as sleep once again finds us. We both sleep soundly the rest of the night, neither of us having a nightmare despite our talk about mine when I woke up. I was afraid Christian might have a nightmare since discussing mine seemed to trigger memories of his mother and her pimp. I wake the next morning with the sun bright outside the balcony doors, glancing at the clock I'm surprised at how late we slept. Christian rarely sleeps in yet he remains next to me, his arms still tight around me. As I try to move he pulls me closer to him, his hard erection now pushing against my ass. I giggle as he holds me tight against him, gently moving his hips against my ass clearly awake right now.

"Good Morning" I say.

"Morning" his hands gently run up and down my sides, hips and thighs.

"Someone woke up happy" I giggle.

"How could I not when I wake up naked next to you?" He says.

One hand pinches my nipple gently while the other continues to roam my body, getting close to my sex but never touching it. I quickly find the need rising, my body responding to his touch quickly. Reaching behind me I grasp his firm ass, pulling him closer to me his erection now in between my legs gently rubbing against my sex. Christian's mouth is on my ear, my neck and my cheek kissing, sucking and biting me as our breathing begins to increase. He moves me so I'm now laying on my back, his body just over mine as hip mouth hungrily finds mine. Our hands are all over each other, as if we can't get enough; I can't help but wonder if it will always be like this with Christian. Will our love making always be so passionate? Will we ever get our fill of one another? I know the answer for me is never; I know I will never be able to get enough of the man I love so much.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as Christian's mouth finds my nipple.

He sucks hard on one while pinching the other causing me to climb higher with need. My body feels like it's on fire as the desire races through me. My hands find his head, holding him close to me not wanting him to stop the wonderful torture on my nipples. I moan as he takes his mouth from my breast only to gasp in surprise when he quickly attaches it to the other one. I can feel the wetness between my legs, coating my thighs as the orgasm builds deep inside of me. His mouth once again leaves my nipples, kissing my torso as he slowly moves down my body until he is above my sex. I moan loudly in anticipation, in desperate need of him…

"Oh God!" I scream, his fingers pinching my nipples the moment his mouth latches onto my clit.

The combination of his fingers and his mouth quickly pushes me closer to the edge; he props my leg on his shoulder while his hand explores my sex. His fingers are everywhere except where I need them most, inside of me. I can feel my juices coating his fingers; the need quickly taking over as my hips thrust against his face desperate for more.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he pulls my clit with his teeth.

"Do you like that?" he asks, momentarily stopping his assault on my sex.

"Yes! Please….I'm so close Christian!" I beg shamelessly.

His mouth immediately returns to my sex; licking, sucking and nipping at me but never entering me. I'm burning with desire as the orgasm remains just out of reach but his constant motions keep me right on the edge.

"Christian….I need you" I moan.

"What do you need baby?" He asks.

"You!" I scream in frustration as he nips my clit once again.

"What do you want me to do Ana?" his tongue runs from my clit to my core, circling it but never entering me.

"Christian!" I exclaim embarrassed that he is asking me this.

"Tell me baby" he smiles against my sex.

"Fuck me Christian!" I scream moments later as he sucks hard on my clit.

"As you wish" he quickly moves above me, his hand never leaving my clit as he plunges into me fast and hard.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream at the sudden intrusion, my body struggling to adjust to the fullness.

"Come baby" he pinches my nipple as he bites my ear which finally pushes me over the edge.

"CHRISTIAN!" I scream as the orgasm rips through my body.

My back arches, my hands find his ass pulling him deeper inside of me as he continues to thrust in and out of me prolonging my orgasm even more. His lips crush against mine, his tongue mimicking the movements of his erection deep inside of me as his hands move under my ass pulling me even closer to him. The orgasm never seems to end, just as I feel like I'm coming down I can feel another one building. He gives me no chance to recover as he continues to thrust hard and fast into me, his balls slapping against my ass every time he enters me fully.

"You feel so good" He moans. "So tight, so wet….so mine."

"Yes….yours!" I pant.

He pulls nearly all the way out of me before plunging deep into me, hitting that wonderful spot inside of me each time. I can tell he is getting close to his own release as his breathing becomes fast and his pace is faster and harder. He alternates his actions; pulling out slightly before pushing himself hard and deeper into me, moving himself around so he crushes my clit each time. He is so deep inside of me when he does this that, yet he continues to pull me against him trying to get even deeper.

"Christian…please…."I beg, although not sure what for.

"Come for me Ana!" He exclaims, thrusting himself hard and deep inside of me.

"OHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD!" I scream moments later as I come hard, gripping him tightly.

"ANA!" He screams, emptying himself inside of me.

He collapses on top of me, one arm supporting some of his weight as we both struggle to control our breathing. He continues to move gently in and out of me as we lay in each other's arms; I can easily picture us like this for the rest of our lives. Never did I think I would ever be this comfortable with anyone, to feel this relaxed with someone or to even be planning a wedding. Before I met Christian I never thought I would find love…I thought it was impossible.

"What are you thinking about baby?" he asks sucking on my ear lobe.

"How lucky I am to have you" I smile.

"I'm the lucky one" he kisses me deeply, moving himself so he is laying on top of me.

"If you keep that up we're never going to leave this room today" I moan as I feel him twitch inside of me.

"Hmmmmm now that sound sounds like a wonderful idea" he says.

"How about we get some breakfast or lunch before round two?" I suggest as my stomach embarrassingly growls below us.

"I guess we should" he laughs, gently pulling out of me.

I feel empty the moment he leaves me, as if he fit perfectly inside of me like he was meant to be there. Christian runs a warm wet washcloth over my thighs and my sex, gently cleaning the evidence of our orgasms away. I moan slightly as he applies the slightly pressure to my over sensitive clit earning a smirk from him. We get dressed, making out way downstairs where Gail is in the kitchen beginning to prepare us a late breakfast. Between sleeping late and our morning activities we have nearly missed breakfast and could probably go straight to an early lunch.

"Sir, ma'am" Taylor enters the room and I can tell by his tone that something is wrong.

"Taylor?" Christian asks.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we need to talk" Taylor says.

"Is everything okay Taylor?" I ask concerned.

"There's been a development…" he says.

"Please sit down" Christian says, his entire posture changes as he sits more straight, his shoulders back.


	41. Chapter 41

_Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than normal...I'm rushing against real life obligations but wanted to get something out since it's been several days since I updated last._

* * *

_All characters belong to E.L. James_.

**Chpt. 40 APOV: **

"We have received an email about Ana's journal" Taylor announces.

"What type of an email? Who sent it? Can you trace it? What do they want? What are they threatening?" Christian asks angrily.

"Right now they are just telling us that they have it and will be in touch at a later time to discuss the return of it" Taylor explains calmly.

"Have Barney trace the email" Christian directs.

"He is trying sir" Taylor pauses. "The sender is using some kind of a deterrent which is bouncing the IP address all over the world. He is trying to hack into the system but is not having much luck."

"So we just wait again?" I ask.

"Yes, we wait for them to contact us again" Taylor says.

"When did they send this email?" Christian asks.

"It was received around three this morning" Taylor answers.

"If Barney can't track the IP address then we wait for them to make their move. They will likely try to blackmail me for a large amount of money or threaten to go to the media. At that point we will call their bluff" Christian says a few minutes later.

"Did they sign a name to the email?" I ask.

"No" Taylor answers.

"I want all the security codes changed here and at GEH as an extra precaution" Christian directs.

"All the codes were changed at six this morning sir, it is protocol whenever a threat is received" Taylor replies.

"Very good" Christian sighs.

"Did the email indicate when they would be in touch?" I ask.

"No, but I'm going to guess it will be a few days before we hear from them again" Taylor answers.

"Why?" I ask.

"They want to keep you on edge, to make you nervous…it's what they get from doing this" Taylor explains.

"What do you suggest?" Christian asks.

"Go about your lives as if nothing is going on. Be seen in public, even if it's just at a store or dinner-" Taylor begins.

"Doesn't that put us at risk?" I interrupt.

"No, I think they want money right now or to ruin you and Christian. If the same person is responsible for this as was responsible for the accident than they have realized that physically hurting you isn't going to tear you apart. What's left is public humiliation" Taylor explains.

"What do you think baby?" Christian asks.

"If Taylor thinks it is safe than I trust him" I say with confidence; I've really come to trust Taylor especially since the accident.

"Then we will plan something for later today" Christian agrees.

"Thank you Taylor" I say as he leaves the room.

"Will the drama ever end?" he runs his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Hopefully as soon as we catch whoever is doing this" I say.

"We both know who it is" he replies quietly but the guilt in his voice is apparent.

"Christian…don't even go there" I pull his face towards me kissing him. "This is not your fault even if we discover Elena is behind this."

"If she read it…your private thoughts…." He mumbles.

"Christian…it's a journal of horrible memories that I probably should have destroyed when I stopped writing in it a year ago. As much as I don't like the idea of someone else reading it, at the very least someone I don't trust, those memories don't define me. I'm a much a stronger person for having survived it and I would hope that anyone who reads that can see it" I say strongly.

"God you're the strongest person I know" He kisses me deeply.

"Speaking of…" I take a deep breath.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Now that we've been pictured in the media, it's probably only a matter of time until the media starts digging into my past-" I begin.

"There's nothing about what happened to you anywhere, I can assure you of that" he interrupts.

"I know" I sigh. "But I'm assuming there is a record of my past addresses right?"

"Yes" Christian admits.

"It won't take long for the media to figure out some of the addresses were to that of boarding homes" I say sadly.

"Ana, if that happens we will tackle it. So you had to stay at a boarding home while you put yourself through college. I think it shows what great lengths you were willing to go through to pursue your education" he smiles.

"I would like to tell Kate and maybe your family so they don't learn about it from the media" I say. "I'd rather them hear it from me then read about it in a paper."

"If that's what you want, but you don't have to" he replies.

"If I don't they will just look at me and wonder" I say.

"Let's take one step at a time, but if you still want to we can have dinner at my parents' house one night and tell everyone. Mom loves to have family dinners so it will give her an excuse to have everyone over. Oh, and we can look at the yard while we're there so we can plan where the ceremony will be" Christian smiles.

"Speaking of, I want to get bridal magazines like you suggested last night but I don't think it's wise for me to go buy them since the media has pictures of us together" I say.

"Taylor!" Christian calls.

"Yes sir?" Taylor appears moments later.

"Ana would like some wedding planning or bridal magazines. Can you arrange to pick some up? I don't want them delivered here" he requests.

"Of course sir" Taylor says. "I will have them here this afternoon."

"The poor guy is going to be so embarrassed" I blush.

"He'll be fine, he's picked up worse for me" Christian laughs.

"Worse?" I ask.

"I've had him pick up condoms, lubricant, toys, lingerie, you name it" he admits.

"Oh…for your…" I stutter.

"My submissives…yes" he says disappointed.

"Toys?" I ask quietly.

"Not regularly; usually I had those delivered but if I needed something…" Christian explains.

"What kind of toys?" My face blushes as I can barely whisper the words.

"Why, Ms. Steele are you getting curious?" Christian smirks.

"Maybe" I admit.

"Hmmmmm…you have no idea the images going through my head right now" Christian smiles. "I'd love to find out what sort of toys you might like one day Ana."

"Tell me Taylor hasn't bought panties for me?" I ask, needing to change the subject quickly.

"Ummmmm" he doesn't answer.

"Oh my! Christian!" I exclaim embarrassed.

"Well, he didn't pick them out; he just picked them up from the store" Christian laughs.

"I don't want to hear anymore. I'm better if I don't think of Taylor seeing my panties" I blush.

"You know Gail has washed them right?" he smiles, clearly enjoying my discomfort.

"I know" I sigh. "But at least she is a woman!"

"So, Taylor says we should be seen out…what do you feel like doing this weekend?" he asks a few minutes later as we sit in the great room on the couch.

"I don't know" I say.

"We could go shopping?" he suggests.

"I don't need anything" I reply.

"You need a reason to shop?" He asks surprised.

"I'm not in the habit of spending money just to spend money Christian" I lecture.

"I know you're not…it's just the opposite of most women" he smiles.

"I suppose you're right" I say.

"Have you ever been to the Space Needle?" Christian asks.

"No…but I've always wanted to" I say happily.

"Let's do that tomorrow, we can have dinner there as well" he suggests.

"Oh that's sounds perfect!" I smile.

"Sir, ma'am" Taylor enters the great room.

"Hi Taylor" I greet him.

"Here are the magazines you requested Ana" Taylor hands me a stack.

"I'm sorry you had to go buy them. I hope it wasn't too embarrassing" I laugh.

"Not for me" he smiles. "Sawyer is the one who purchased them."

"Poor Sawyer!" we both laugh.

"Mr. Grey here is the other item you requested" Taylor hands Christian a small gift bag.

"Thank you Taylor" he says.

Christian turns to me, handing me the gift bag.

"What's this?" I ask surprised.

"Open it" he says.

I open the bag to find a small jewelry box; opening that I find a simple gold necklace. I look at Christian confused, it's a lovely necklace but I'm not sure what the reason he is giving it to me is.

"For your engagement ring when we go out, so you can keep it close to you" he explains. "Like you suggested last night."

"Oh, that's right. Thank you" I gush.

"I hope you won't have to use it too much before the announcement is made in a few weeks" Christian admits.

"It's only a few weeks" I kiss him. "We have graduation in a couple weeks and then the gala where we will make our announcement."

The next morning I awake extra early, excited at the thought of going to the Space Needle for the first time. When I was looking at colleges it was the one thing about Seattle that caught my attention, the one site I swore I would see if I ever made it to this city. Unfortunately tickets aren't cheap and since I've been struggling financially since I arrived here I never had the opportunity.

"There you are" Christian joins me in the kitchen as I'm preparing breakfast. "I woke up and you were gone."

"I couldn't sleep" I smiled.

"You're really this excited about going to the Space Needle?" Christian asks surprised.

"Are you kidding? I've only seen pictures but the views look amazing! Here, look at the pictures I found online" I show him several pictures on my iphone.

"I know baby, I've been there" he laughs.

"Oh…are you sure you want to go again?" I ask disappointed.

"I'm looking forward to seeing it for the first time with you" he assures me. "You always make me see things differently."

We eat breakfast, shower and get dressed before deciding to head out. My engagement ring is hanging from my neck on the chain that Christian gave me yesterday just in case we are photographed while we're out. Both Taylor and Sawyer are with us today, which is reassuring given that we still don't know if Elena is behind the break in at Kate's apartment. We stop at a mall to do some shopping, I'm not really sure for what but Christian insists that we should shop. I think it's just another opportunity for us to be seen but I don't complain.

"Can we stop here?" I ask as we pass a bookstore.

"Of course, anywhere you want" he smiles leading me into the book store.

We spend the next hour roaming the bookstore; I could have spent the entire day in here if it wasn't for our plans to see the Space Needle later. Christian holds several books that I have picked out, laughing as I hand him another one. He reminds me that we have an entire library at home but I point out that he doesn't have these books. I grab a few cookbooks as well, I enjoy trying to cook new things which is something Gail and I have in common.

"Oh my….you're…." the sales girl gushes staring at Christian.

"Christian Grey, it's nice to meet you" he says.

"I….it's nice to meet you to" she quickly recovers. "I saw your picture with her in the magazine…it's here somewhere."

"That's okay we've seen it" I speak up as she has been ignoring me.

"I can't believe you're here" she blushes.

"Would you mind ringing us up please" I request as she stares openly at Christian.

"Yes of course" she says but her eyes still don't leave Christian, she makes no effort to ring up my books.

"Excuse me….if you're done staring at _my_ boyfriend, I would like to check out" I say sternly.

She doesn't say anything but quickly rings my books up before telling me the total. I search my wallet but cannot find my bank card, instead I find a black American Express card I've never seen before with my name on it. I glare at Christian who just smiles next to me, as I'm left with no choice but to hand over this card. I know I had my bank card when we were in Aspen because I used it to pay for the snow globe but I can't recall having it any time after that.

"Did you take my bank card?" I ask as we leave the book store and out of earshot of the salesgirl.

"Yes" he admits.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because you don't need it" he says simply.

"Christian, that's the only access I have to my money besides writing checks" I point out.

"We're going to be married which means what's mine is yours" he kisses me deeply in the middle of the mall.

"I don't feel right spending your money" I say.

"Baby, you need to get used to it" he smiles. "It's our money. Everything I own, every dime I make is ours."

"But you earned this money" I sigh. "We're not even married yet."

"We're not…but in a few months we will be" he squeezes my hand tightly.

"I'm not going to win this argument am I?" I ask defeated.

"No" he smirks.

"Fine….but I still don't like it" I say knowing there is no point in arguing with this man.

"Come, let's go see the Space Needle" he laughs.

Taylor drives us to the Space Needle which is so much larger than I ever imagined. Christian purchases tickets and arranges for just two of us to ride in the elevator alone with Taylor and Sawyer following behind us. The ride in the elevator, which has windows on each side plus windows on the doors, is just amazing. The view going up is breathtaking, you can see every section of the city here….from the large buildings to the water to the bridges to the mountains in the distance. From the pictures online and in magazines that I have seen I knew the elevators took you up high but I had no idea how high up we would be until we finally reached the top. You can barely see the cars on the street, which now look like ants from this height. The view is truly breathtaking; I am in awe that I'm standing here with the man that I love, the man that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

"If you look right there, that building is GEH" Christian points out.

"Wow, it looks so small from here" I say.

"That is Pike Market Place which is within walking distance of Escala" Christian shares.

"What is it?" I ask.

"You should go with Gail sometime….she loves going there. They have all fresh food, fresh seafood literally caught that morning and specialty crafts. They put on a show most of the time, throwing fish between the stands" he laughs.

"I'll have to go with her next time" I smile. "This view is truly amazing."

"I'll have to take you in Charlie Tango to see Seattle at night; in some ways that view is better than this" he says.

"Charlie Tango?" I ask.

"My helicopter" he answers.

"You have a helicopter?" I gasp.

"Yes, I've been flying for several years now" he explains.

"Is there anything you don't have?" I ask.

"You as my wife" he pulls me against him, kissing me deeply as the elevator comes to a stop.

"You will in a few months" I smile.

"We're here" he announces as we step off the elevator where Taylor and Sawyer greet us.

"Welcome to Skycity Restaurant" the hostess greets us.

"Grey, I have a reservation" Christian says.

"Oh Christian" I gush looking around.

The restaurant has windows on all sides, giving you a panoramic view of the city. As I glance at the menu, my jaw nearly drops seeing the prices of the dishes. I can make an entire meal for the two of us for the price of the starters alone. Christian obviously doesn't notice or doesn't care about the price as he casually asks me what I'm going to order. I'm too taken back to decide, so he orders the New York Strip steak platter for both of us. He continues to point out various attractions from the windows as we eat our dinner, which is probably by far the best steak I have ever eaten.

"Christian, thank you for a wonderful evening. This truly exceeded my expectations…the pictures didn't do it justice" I say as we drive back to Escala.

"Anything for you Ana" he holds me close to him as I close my eyes and fall asleep against his chest.

I wake the next morning to Christian's alarm clock going off; I can't believe I slept all night after falling asleep in the car. Christian must have changed me at some point because I'm only in a bra and panties. I don't remember anything after closing my eyes in the car, the exhaustion from the entire day finally hitting me as soon as Taylor started driving.

"Good Morning" Christian smiles, kissing me deeply.

"Hmmmmmmmm morning" I say.

"Did you take off my clothes last night?" I ask.

"I did…you don't know how tempting it was to wake you up" he smirks.

"Oh really…and what would you have done if I woke up last night?" I ask seductively.

"Well, I would have started with this" his fingers stroke my sex through my panties.

"And then?" I ask breathless.

"I would have done this" his other hand finds my nipple.

"And I would have done this" I grasp his erection through his underwear.

"I would have done this" he moves my panties aside, rubbing my clit.

"Hmmmmmmm" I moan.

"Then I would tell you to take your wet panties off" he moans as I squeeze him.

"And I would do this" I gently slide my silk panties down my legs, purposely grinding myself against him in the process.

"Then this" I moan pushing his pants down as his finger slides through my wet folds.

"Time for this to come off" he quickly on hooks my bra, pushing it aside so my breasts are against his chest.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh" he pinches my nipple just as he slides a finger into me.

"I love how wet you are for me…how tight you are…" he moans against me, pushing his erection against my hand.

"Christian…." I beg.

"I've got you, I will always take care of you" he rolls us over so I'm on top of him.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he slides into me, stretching me as my body tries to accommodate him.

"You feel so good" he nips at my ear as he slowly moves me against him.

As my body relaxes and adjusts to him, I lift myself up slightly from him moving my hips against him. In this position, I can control the pace and the depth and it leaves his hands free to roam my body. His hands explore my body freely, the fear of touching my back long gone – something that's not even a thought in my head with Christian any longer. His touch is comforting and protecting; I don't hesitate or even pause when his hands stay firm on my back guiding me to a pace that brings him pleasure.

"Oh God!" I scream as his mouth latches onto my nipple hard.

"Come baby" he says before pulling my nipple gently with his teeth.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" I moan loudly as I find my release.

Christian quickly pulls out of me, leaving me feeling empty and wanting more, before flipping me over onto my stomach. His arm gently wraps around my stomach as he lifts me up, his fingers tease my nipples as his erection probes my sex. My hips push back against him as if they have a mind of their own; desire and want is coursing through my veins despite the orgasm minutes ago.

"Christian….please" I beg as gently rubs my clit.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as he slams into me.

Christian wraps his arms around him, holding me close to him as he moves in and out of me staying deep inside of me as the need arises. Whereas before his hands roamed my back, they now explore my breasts, stomach and sex. The combination of his gentle touch over my body and him moving in and out of me is too much; I quickly find myself on the edge. Christian's breath hitches, his grip tightens on me and I can tell that he is close to his own release.

"CHRISTIAN!" I scream out as the orgasm rips through me moments later.

"Oh Baby….that's it….you feel so good….BABY!" Christian screams as I feel the familiar warmth move throughout me.

Christian holds me tight against him as he rolls us onto our sides, our connection remaining intact the entire time. I will never get used to the intensity of our love making; the intense need we both seem to have during this time; the outpouring of emotions that are felt when we're joined like this is amazing to me. I can't imagine that sex is like this for everyone; if it were why would people ever leave the bedroom?

"I love you" I grip Christian's arms which are wrapped around me.

"I love you with all my heart" Christian whispers. "I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together."

"I could happily spend the rest of my life right here" I smile.


	42. Chapter 42

_Author's Note: I think this is my longest chapter yet! I hope it makes up for the short one and for the fact that I won't be able to update after this until at least Tuesday because of the holiday. Many thanks for your continued reviews, support and encouragement...I love reading all the reviews! _

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_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 42 APOV:**

Monday morning arrives quickly with no further contact from the person who stole my journal; I was hoping that we would have heard something by now by Taylor reminds us that this person likely wants to see us on edge. I've tried racking my brain around who else besides the blond bitch would be capable of this but I always find myself going back to her. For the life me though I can't figure out how she would even know that I had a journal; the only thing I can think of is she bribed someone at one of the shelters I stayed at for anything on me and they must have told her about it. I never shared with anyone there anything about the nightmares but I'm sure some of them saw me write in it after a nightmare or whenever the memories overwhelmed me.

"I wish I could stay in bed with you all day" Christian pulls me close to him, kissing my neck.

"If you do that you won't get anything done today" I smile.

"Well….I would get a few things done" I feel him smirk against me.

"I meant work stuff" I giggle.

"What are your plans today?" Christian asks over breakfast a little while later.

"I have physical therapy this morning, then a doctor's appointment both are at the hospital but that's about it" I explain.

"Your finals have all been submitted right?" he asks.

"Yes, my professors have confirmed they received everything so now I just wait I guess" I answer.

"Be sure to stay with Sawyer today" Christian warns before he leaves.

"I will" I kiss him goodbye.

Physical therapy goes pretty well, we are focusing on climbing steps and maintaining my balance which is proving more difficult than I thought it would be. After an hour there I leave feeling physically exhausted and I practically fall asleep in the elevator on the way to the doctor's appointment. After a couple new x rays, the orthopedic doctor confirms that I am healing as I should be and he recommends just using an air cast while I'm walking long distances with a cane for support as needed. I'm pleased to be done with the boot as it was getting really annoying to take on and off several times a day. The air cast really just supports my ankle but he feels it will be sufficient with the progress I'm making. He is pleased with the physical therapy reports and removes most limitations I've had however cautioning me to be careful as my leg can tire easily. On the way home I'm tempted to ask Sawyer to stop for something to eat but then I remember that Christian took my bank card so I have no access to my own money. I don't feel comfortable using his American Express card, especially when it's something for myself as opposed to something for us.

When we finally reach Escala, I'm starving as it is the middle of the afternoon and I haven't had a chance to eat between all the appointments this morning. Thankfully Gail prepares me a quick sandwich and a glass of wine while we wait for Christian to come home.

"How is the wedding plans coming Ana?" Gail asks as I watch her begin to prepare dinner.

"Good I guess" I sigh. "I know so little about planning a wedding, I really have no idea what I'm doing."

"Why don't you hire a wedding planner?" she suggests.

"Christian suggested that too but I don't like the idea of a stranger planning my wedding. Grace and Mia are going to help though" I explain.

"Oh that's lovely. They both have planned several events" she says.

"We've decided on the first of October with an outdoor wedding just as the sun sets over the water at the Grey's" I explain.

"That sounds…breath taking" she whispers.

"I hope so….we want it to be simple though. Only about a hundred guests and nothing to over the top" I reply.

"Be sure to keep reminding Mia of that" she laughs.

"I know! She is so over the top with everything but Christian has instructed her to run everything past us first" I giggle.

"If you need any help or ideas, I had a pretty small wedding but I'm wouldn't have changed anything about it" she says a few minutes later.

"Did you have sides for the guests to sit at for the ceremony?" I ask hesitantly.

"No" she pauses. "Neither of us came from large families so most of our guests were friends or neighbors. We grew up down in the same neighborhood so we knew everyone and everyone knew us. It didn't seem right to ask people to decide which side to sit on so we asked them to sit wherever they wanted."

"That's what Christian suggested as well" I say. "I won't have many guests at the wedding so it will mostly be Christian's family, friends and a few business associates I'm sure. I keep picturing our ceremony with only a few people on my side and Christian's side packed."

"I wouldn't worry about that dear" she rubs my shoulders gently. "If you have ushers at the wedding they could seat people on both sides evenly. That would insure that everyone doesn't end up on one side."

"That's a wonderful idea" I say in appreciation. "I'm so afraid people will naturally go to one side, and all I can do is picture an empty side at my wedding."

"The side won't be empty, you may not have family but you have plenty of people who care about you" she assures me.

"Thank you Gail" I whisper as I hear Christian and Taylor coming in.

"Gail" Christian greets her sharply as he walks in.

"Mr. Grey, dinner will be done shortly" she says.

"Thank you…Ana can I speak with you in my office?" he leads me to his office without waiting for a response.

"Christian? Is everything okay?" I ask worried.

"We've received another email from whoever took your journal" he explains as we sit on the couch in his office.

"And?" I take a deep breath.

"They're asking for ten million dollars in exchange for the journal" he explains. "They're also threatening to expose my….past."

"So it's someone who knows about…what you used to do?" I ask.

"It seems so" he says.

"What are we going to do?" I ask.

"Taylor, Welsh and Barney all agree that we should continue with the original plan…that is we call their bluff" he answers.

"But you're not so sure" I observe.

"No" he runs his hands through his hair roughly. "What if they find a reporter who decides to sell the story of my past instead of taking us up on the offer? It could not only ruin me with my business but then you would always be associated with it. People would assume that you were my submissive-"

"Christian" I interrupt. "I don't care what people will think about me. This is only about you and me, no one else."

I move to his lap, so I'm straddling his legs holding his against him. He buries his face in my neck, wrapping his arms around me tightly. We sit like this for several minutes before I feel his body start to relax against me.

"Is there any proof that Elena would have about your involvement in that….lifestyle?" I ask.

"She took pictures…of me…in her playroom" he whispers.

"I see" I pause for a few minutes. "But that would expose her as well, do you think she would risk that?"

"Probably not," Christian finally looks up, as he begins to process it all. "She wouldn't risk ruining her name plus it would ruin her business I'm sure."

"Could she be working with one of your ex…subs?" I ask. "Would they have any proof?"

"They would have a copy of the signed contract, I always provided them with one" he answers. "But they were also provided with a signed copy of the NDA."

"Could one of them risk outing themselves?" I ask hesitantly.

"I'm sure a few of them would….This is an interesting angle we didn't think of before. I can have Taylor track down all of my ex subs and see if anything looks suspicious" he says, his voice full of hope.

"I still think Elena is involved somehow" I sigh. "You said she would refer these women to you right?"

"Yes, she knew all of them" his voice full of anger.

"Is it possible they are working together?" I suggest.

"Very possible" he says through gritted teeth.

"In the meantime we call their bluff right? I mean if they out you, they out themselves but still risk outing Elena" I ask.

"Yes…we continue as planned" he sighs.

"It'll be okay…" I say as his body is tense below me.

"You don't know that! This could fucking ruin me" he screams.

"I know" I whisper.

I've never seen Christian this angry before; I'm not sure how to help him right now. He's practically pulling his hair as he runs his hands through it; you can feel the tension radiating from him.

"I'm sorry" he lets out a breath. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"It's okay, I know you're scared" I rest my head on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around me.

"I don't do good just waiting for other people" he sighs.

"We will get them…whoever is doing this" I assure him.

"We will" he repeats, trying to convince himself.

A couple of days later Christian asks Sawyer to bring me to GEH to discuss the latest developments with the journal thief as I have now decided to call her. Christian has been very distant the last few days and although I wish he would talk more I know he is worried that us calling the person's bluff will back fire on us. He has been on edge all week, working longer hours than normal most nights coming to bed well after I am asleep. On the ride to GEH I can't help but worry about what the latest development is and why it couldn't wait until Christian comes home later.

"Ms. Steele" Taylor greets me in the lobby.

"Mr. Taylor" I tease.

"Ana," he smirks. "Mr. Grey is waiting in the board room for you."

"Taylor, is everything okay?" I ask as the elevator doors close behind us.

"It will be" he assures me without directly answering my question.

I walk into the board room and am surprised that Taylor follows me, sitting on the opposite end of the table. Christian quickly introduces me to Barney and Welsh as I sit down at the large oak table.

"Ana, the woman who has the journal has contacted The Seattle Times" Christian begins. "There is a date and time set for her to meet with one of the senior members of their management team who will pose as a reporter."

"Okay" I say still confused as to why I'm here and why this couldn't wait until Christian came home.

"The meeting is scheduled to begin in a few minutes" Taylor cuts to the chase.

"I see" I say nervously.

"We have a security crew already set up at the café where they are going to meet, we would like you to remain here to watch the footage of the meeting" Taylor explains.

"For what?" I ask.

"We want to know if you recognize the person who is meeting the undercover reporter" Christian says. "Just in case it's not who we think it is."

"Okay" I reply.

"It's also safer for you to be here in case this is a set up and someone is trying to get to you" Welsh explains.

"Oh, I see" now it's making sense why they brought me here. This building is far more secure then Escala is.

"We have several cameras set up, if you look at the screen in a few minutes we will have all the angles up at once" Barney explains.

"How far away are they?" I ask.

"Across the street" Barney answers.

"What's the plan once the person arrives?" I ask.

"In theory, we expect the person to hand over the journal to the undercover reporter who has been given strict instructions to not open it under any circumstances. They will engage in small talk regarding what is in the journal and then they will go their separate ways" Welsh explains.

"Wait…" I interrupt. "We're going to let them get away?"

"No, but we need to first confirm this is the actual journal which is where you come in again" Taylor describes. "The reporter will drive around the block before circling back to our garage and will meet me in the lobby to hand over the journal. In the meantime Sawyer will be following the person and upon confirmation from you that this is the journal he will pick them up and bring them in for a discussion."

"I want to speak to them when you bring them in" I say a few minutes later.

"What? No!" Christian exclaims.

"I want to know why I'm being targeted…why they took my journal…why they want to share with the public what happened" I say angrily.

"It's not safe! You can't!" he yells.

"I will…and you can't stop me" I glare at him.

"Anastasia" he runs his hands through his hair forcefully.

"You can be in here with me but this is something I need to do" I say firmly.

"Fine" he reluctantly agrees. "But Taylor and Sawyer will also be in here and you are not to go near her."

"I have no desire to be near her…I just want to ask why" I point out.

"Our reporter has arrived" Barney says as he clicks a few buttons on the screen to share the multiple views on the wall in front of us.

I recognize the café across the street, the hidden cameras they set up are at the perfect angles to cover the table where the reporter is sitting. Several minutes pass by and I begin to worry that the person isn't going to show up.

"It seems like our thief has arrived" Welsh says pointing to the woman who is now joining the reporter.

The woman on the screen is wearing a long trench coat, floppy hat and dark sunglasses clearly trying to disguise her identity.

"I can't get a good look at her face" I sigh.

"Barney…can you zoom in on her ankle?" Christian asks a few minutes later.

"Yes Mr. Grey" Barney clicks a few buttons and the camera zooms in on the ankle complete with a rose tattoo.

"Damn it!" Christian screams.

"Who is it?" Taylor demands.

"Leila" Christian replies angrily.

"Sawyer…be prepared to follow her when she leaves. It is Leila Williams" Taylor says into his phone.

I sit back quietly, watching the interaction on the wall but also watching Christian. I can only assume this Leila person is one of Christian's ex subs which explains his reaction and his knowledge of her tattoo. The thought of this woman knowing him as intimately as I do sickens me; it's one thing to know that he has been with other women but it's another to have her practically show up on our doorstep. On the screen in front of us, Leila provides the reporter with my journal and leaves the table.

"I'm going downstairs to meet our contact" Taylor says. "Ana I will return shortly with the journal."

"Thank you Taylor" I reply.

"Mr. Grey if you need us further…" Welsh says as he and Barney leave the room.

"So Leila….was your…." I stutter trying to ask the question I already know the answer to.

"Yes" he confirms.

"How long ago?" I ask.

"I terminated our contract about two years before we met" he answers.

"Why did you end it with her?" I ask.

"I could tell she was developing feeling for me" he sighs. "Our arrangement was supposed to only be about sex, emotions were not supposed to be involved. Eventually she started requesting to see me outside of our arranged times; the final straw was when she showed up announced here. That night I terminated our contract."

"Elena sent her to you?" I whisper.

"Yes" he admits.

"Have you spoken to her recently?" I ask hesitantly.

"No! I haven't spoken to her since the day our contract was terminated" he assures me.

"Mr. Grey, Ana" Taylor enters the room and hands me the journal.

"This is it" I confirm and sigh in relief that I finally have it back.

"We will arrange to pick up Ms. Williams" Taylor leaves the room.

"What are you going to do?" I ask.

"I don't know" he sighs. "I need to know why she is doing this and if Elena is involved. I need to know if she knows anything about your accident."

"Do you think Elena told her something?" I ask.

"Maybe" he says. "Maybe not, but we need to find out."

"I want to know how she found out about my journal to begin with" I say as the anger returns.

"Ana…" he sighs. "I don't know that I want you in here when she gets here."

"Tough Christian, I am staying in here. I want answers too!" I exclaim.

"Ana….I don't want you to see me when I'm with her" his face is full of shame.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I may have to resort to acting like a dom with her" he answers sadly.

"I don't care…that's not who you are with me" I assure him.

"I never wanted you to see that" he frowns.

"Christian, it's fine. I know that's not who you are anymore" I kiss him on the cheek.

"You know I love you right baby? You and only you" he pulls me tight against him so I'm sitting on his lap.

"And I love you…nothing that happens today will change that" I tell him.

"Mr. Grey, Sawyer will be here in ten minutes with Ms. Williams" Taylor interrupts us again.

"Where was she when he picked her up?" Christian asks.

"She was about to enter a grocery store" Taylor answers.

"Thank you" Christian replies as Taylor leaves the room again.

Christian continues to hold me close to him, not making any effort to move while we wait for Sawyer to bring Leila to us. I would be lying if I said I was not nervous about what is about to happen; it's one thing to know Christian had a BDSM relationship with Leila, but it's another thing to have to see it. As much as I don't want to see it, I know this is something I have to do if I'm going to get answers. I'm not going to sit back and do nothing while hoping she gives Christian the answers I want. I need to know why I was targeted, why she took my journal, who she gave it to, who might have read it and most importantly if she knows who was behind my accident.

"I love you" Christian whispers as Taylor knocks on the door.

"I love you too" I kiss him passionately on the lips before returning to my seat next to him.

"Mr. Grey, Ms. Steele" Taylor enters the room with a very disheveled, thin brunette.

"Ms. Williams" Christian says coldly.

"Mr….Grey….sir" she stutters a response.

"Sit down" Christian instructs her.

Taylor and Sawyer position themselves on very close to Leila, one behind her and one next to her prepared for anything. This is not the woman I expected to see under the trench coat, floppy hat and sunglasses; she is more of a shell of a person. Her face is so pale, her hair looks like it hasn't been brushed in ages and the bags under her eyes are a giveaway that she hasn't slept recently. I don't know what I was expecting but I always thought of Christian's ex's being these drop dead model looking women which is nothing like the woman sitting in front of us. Her hands are flat on her legs which are open slightly, her eyes are glued to the floor and her head is down as if she is afraid to look at anyone. Christian stands tall in front of her, his shoulders back in clear authority; I see the person now that all of his employees see and I am thankful that this is not the man I see on a daily basis. This man looks cold, stern and unfriendly which is the exact opposite of the man I know.

"You provided a reporter for the Seattle Times with Ms. Steele's journal today" Christian states.

She doesn't respond or look up; it's as if she didn't hear him.

"Answer me!" He says sternly.

"Yes sir" she admits, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Did you break into her apartment?" He asks.

"No sir" she answers.

"How did you come about the journal then?" he accuses her.

"It was given to me sir" she answers.

"By who?" he asks.

"I am not at liberty to say sir" she replies.

"You will answer me!" he demands.

"Sir…please…I can't" she sobs.

"Tell me who gave you the journal now Ms. Williams!" he orders.

"It….I…." she stutters. "Mrs. Lincoln."

"Elena Lincoln gave you the journal?" he asks.

"Yes sir" she whispers.

"Have you been in contact with Mrs. Lincoln lately?" he asks.

"Yes sir…" she admits.

"What did Mrs. Lincoln promise you in return for meeting the reporter today?" he demands.

"Five thousand dollars" she says.

"And?" he asks.

"To train me to be a dom" she whispers.

"You're going to be a dom?" he smirks.

"Yes sir" she answers.

"Do you know that Ms. Steele was hit by a car a few months ago and was seriously injured?" he changes the subject.

"Yes sir" she admits.

"How do you know this?" he asks.

"I saw you pushing her in a wheelchair and asked Mrs. Lincoln about it" she answers.

"Where did you see us?" he asks.

"I don't remember" she lies, her voice is shaky and uncertain.

"Have you been following us?" he yells.

"No sir….only sometimes" she whispers.

"Why?" he demands.

"I wanted to know what she had that I didn't" she replies after a few minutes of silence. "You're different with her."

"When we terminated our contract you were instructed to never contact me again, you are currently in direct violation of our contract!" he screams.

"Yes sir" she admits.

"What did Mrs. Lincoln tell you about Ms. Steele's accident?" he asks.

"That someone ran her over when she was leaving work" she replies.

"Did she tell you why someone did that?" he asks cautiously.

"She….she said it was because that bitch was only after your money and someone wanted to be sure she didn't ruin you" Lila admits.

I gasp in shock…I always knew Elena thought I was after Christian's money, especially after she confronted me at Christmas but I never thought that she would use that as a reason to try to kill me. Christian glances at me to make sure I'm okay; I nod slightly urging him to continue.

"Did she tell you who caused the accident?" Christian asks.

"No sir" she answers quickly.

"Ms. Williams, right now I have several police officers waiting to arrest you-" Christian says.

"For what? I haven't done anything!" she panics.

"Trying to sell Ms. Steele's journal to a reporter constitutes defamation of character which is a punishable offense resulting in jail time" Christian informs her, though I'm pretty sure he is lying.

"Please sir….please….I'll do anything, I can't go back to jail" she begs.

"Back?" he asks surprised. "When were you in jail?"

"A few months ago sir" Leila answers. "I ran out of money after my boyfriend broke up with me and wrote a lot of bad checks. Mrs. Lincoln bailed me out, hired me a good lawyer and helped me get my life back on track."

"In exchange for you helping her with whatever she needed" Christian realizes.

"Yes sir…" she admits.

"What else did you do for Mrs. Lincoln?" he asks.

"Sir….please….if she finds out I'm telling you this much…she will be so angry!" Leila begs.

"Tell me now!" he yells.

"I went to all the places that _she_ stayed at" for the first time Leila glares at me with pure hatred.

"Eyes where they belong!" Christian demands; her eyes immediately fall to the floor. "Why did you go there?"

"Mrs. Lincoln wanted me to find anything out about _her_ from the people who worked and stayed there" she admits.

"That's where you learned about her journal" Christian says.

"Yes sir" Leila replies.

"When did you try to kill yourself?" I ask.

Christian and Leila both looked at me shocked; I guess Christian missed the bandage wrapped around both of her wrists, one still covered with dried blood. Leila doesn't respond but her eyes immediately fall back to the floor.

"Answer her" Christian requests.

"Last week" she whispers.

"Leila, I'm going to make you a deal" I announce moving next to Christian. I place my hand on the center of his back, begging him to let me continue. Her eyes look up and I immediately see the surprise in them, clearly not expecting me to be allowed to touch Christian.

"A deal?" she asks worried.

"You're going to help us get Elena to confess to having someone hit me with a car-" I begin.

"No! I can't!" she interrupts.

"You can or you will go to jail" I say simply. "In exchange for your assistance, Christian is going to arrange for you to go to a place where they can help you."

"I don't need help-" she whines.

"You do," I interrupt. "You tried to kill yourself last week and I bet if we were to look at your wrists we would see older scars where you have attempted suicide before, isn't that right?"

She doesn't reply but looks back to the floor essentially confirming my suspicions.

"Now you can either help us or go to jail but it's your choice" I explain.

"What do you want me to do?" she asks after several minutes of silence.

Crap! I hadn't thought exactly how she would help us…I glance at Taylor, begging him for some help.

"Ms. Williams, you will contact Mrs. Lincoln and with a written script you will ask her specific details of the accident. Essentially you are going to blackmail her for the information saying this is the only way you will turn over the money that the reporter gave you" Taylor says. "We will record the conversation and once you get her to admit her involvement in the accident we will arrange for Dr. Flynn, a respected psychiatrist, to admit you into a facility."

"Okay" she says tearfully.

"You will sit here with Sawyer, you will not move until I return" Christian orders.

"Yes sir" she replies.

"Make one move and the police will come in and arrest you on the spot; our deal will be off the table" he points out.

"Yes sir" she repeats.

Christian takes my hand leading me back to his office where Taylor follows us. He goes to his desk, pulls out a bottle of bourbon and several small glasses. He pours me, Taylor and himself a glass; we all take a large drink before sitting at the small table.

"Thank you Taylor…I hadn't thought of how she would help" I begin.

"It was a great suggestion Ana…you should be proud of yourself for coming up with it under pressure like that" Christian squeezes my hand.

"Agreed Ana," Taylor says.

"What now?" I ask.

"I'm having Barney arrange for recording equipment to be brought up that we can use to record the conversation" Taylor explains.

"We need to write a script for her to follow" Christian says.

For the next half an hour the three of us work on a script for the conversation between Leila and Elena with several contingencies built in based upon possible answers that Elena might provide. Christian contacts Dr. Flynn, explaining the situation to him and requests that he arrange for her admission into a facility preferably out of state. Dr. Flynn agrees to begin the process, stating he will arrive at GEH within the next hour to transport her to such a facility. I'm thankful that Christian and Taylor both agreed to this part of the plan; when I saw the bandages on her wrists I knew that we had to do something to help her. Hopefully wherever Dr. Flynn arranges for her to be admitted to, can help her work through whatever she is going through so she no longer thinks the answer to her problems is to take her own life.

We walk back the board room, most of GEH is now empty I realize and Christian quickly dismisses Andrea for the evening. Up until now I hadn't realized how long we have been here today or how long we were meeting with Leila for. Entering the board room, I'm surprised to find that she followed Christian's orders exactly; she appears to have literally not moved a muscle since we left the room. Sawyer explains the equipment that Barney connected to Leila's phone which will record the entire conversation with Elena. We show Leila the index cards with the script written out, explaining that as the conversation progresses we will improvise with the next card so she always knows what to say. Christian gives her a bottle of water and tries to reassure her that she can do this; this is the first and only time I have seen him gentle with her since she first walked through the door.

"Leila! Where the hell are you? You were supposed to call me as soon as the meeting with the reporter was over! Don't tell me it lasted two hours!" Elena screams the moment she answers the phone.

"No, Ms. Elena….I went to the store to do some shopping because I had no food in the apartment. I lost track of time, I'm sorry Ms. Elena" Leila says fearfully.

"We will deal with you not following the rules later" Elena threatens. "Now tell me what happened with the reporter. Did you give her the bitch's journal?"

"Yes, I gave her the journal" Leila looks to Christian who nods his head. "She gave me a check that is made payable to me for fifteen grand."

"Great" Elena sighs in relief. "You sign the check over to me as we discussed and I will give the five that we agreed to."

"About that" Leila takes a deep breath. "How do I know you're not going to turn me in?"

"I gave you my word" Elena says, her voice trying to remain strong.

"I don't know that I trust your word any longer…this is my future, I can't go back to jail if you decide to rat me out to the cops, Mrs. Lincoln" Leila explains.

"What do you want? How much?" Elena sighs.

"I don't want more of your money" Leila says.

"Then what?" Elena screams.

"I want something on you, this way I know you won't go to the cops" Leila reads the card with a shaky voice.

"What do you want on me" Elena laughs.

"I want to know what happened to her" Leila says. "About the accident."

"I told you already, that bitch was after Christian's money and I had to stop her from ruining everything he has worked so hard for" Elena says; my hand covers my mouth as I try not to gasp at her admission of at least being involved.

"Who did it?" Leila asks.

"Is this really important? This is what you want?" Elena says.

"Yes! I want to know the details so I know you will never go to the cops about what I did with the journal" Leila repeats.

"Josh did it….you know he will do anything I tell him" Elena says proudly.

"Josh, our submissive is the one who ran her over?" Leila asks shocked, this information not on any card as we all stare at each other.

"He is not _our_ submissive, he is my submissive! I'm just letting you practice on him, he will always belong to me!" Elena screams.

"Yes….your submissive….I'm sorry Ms. Elena" Leila stutters, the news clearly catching her off guard.

"You have your answers, now I expect you to turn over the check to me!" Elena demands.

"But why did you have Josh try to kill Anastasia?" Leila asks.

"I already told you!" Elena screams. "That bitch was trying to steal his money; trying to ruin everything I made him into! You wouldn't want to see Christian lose everything, now would you? I had to put an end to it. Damn worthless piece of shit couldn't even follow through and do I asked; he wasn't going fast enough so she survived. Don't you worry, he was punished severely for not listening to me."

"Is he the one who got the journal from her apartment?" Leila asks.

"No, after his failure at the first task I couldn't leave this one up to him. I had to take care of it myself; you wouldn't trust him after he fucked up would you?" Elena asks.

"No, you're right Ms. Elena" Leila answers.

"Is there anything else you need to know or can I expect my money tonight?" Elena asks. "Josh is ready for a session with you; he is downstairs in position waiting for you to take the lead tonight."

"I will be there in a few minutes…keep him waiting for me" she smiles before disconnecting the call.

"You did very well, Ms. Williams" Christian says sternly. "Dr. Flynn is waiting outside, we are going to let you two talk privately for a few minutes but he has arranged for your admission into a psychiatric facility in Northern California. He will accompany you there this evening; Sawyer will drive you when you are finished meeting with Dr. Flynn. You will agree to the admission and follow the rules of the facility, understood?"

"Yes sir" Leila bows her head.

"If we need assistance legally, you will be compensated for any travel that will be required as well as for your time" Christian explains.

"Thank you sir" Leila says.

As Christian said Dr. Flynn is waiting outside the board room; we are introduced briefly before he proceeds to meet with Leila. Taylor is taking all the evidence directly to the detective in charge of my case as soon as we are dropped off at Escala. I thought I would feel some sort of relief knowing who caused my accident and why but I don't feel that much different than I did this morning. I think I will feel more relief when Elena and this Joshua person are arrested, at least then I know they won't be able to come after me again. Christian is very quiet, barely saying a word all the way back to Escala; he holds my hand tightly leading me to the bedroom as soon as we arrive back at our apartment.

"I'm so sorry baby" he holds me tight against him, his back against the bedroom door.

"For what Christian?" I ask confused.

"For everything…for what Elena did, for the accident, for her stealing your journal, for what you had to see tonight. For all of it" Christian buries his head into my neck, his arms wrapped tightly around.

"None of this is your fault Christian" I assure him. "That bitch is delusional if she thought that I was ever after your money or that I was trying to ruin you. I could care less how much money you have!"

"I know baby, it's one of the many things I love about you" he says.

"This is not your fault….She is a crazy sick pedophile, but you did nothing wrong" I pull his head up so I can see him, his eyes are full of fear.

"But if it wasn't for me-" he begins.

"STOP!" I interrupt. "We've had this discussion countless times, Christian. This is not your fault, no matter what you think this is not because of you. I'm not going to sit back and let my future husband blame himself for the actions of some sick old lady!"

"Say it again" he whispers.

"Say what again?" I ask.

"What you just called me" he requests.

"Oh" thinking back through what I just said I realize what he is referring to. "My future husband."

"You've never called me that" he smiles.

"Well, in a matter of months you will be my husband" I kiss him, running my fingers through his hair.

"We should fly to Vegas tonight and get married" he moans as I kiss him deeply.

"Your family would be disappointed" I point out. "They want to see us get married."

"I know" he sighs. "I just wish it wasn't so far away."

"It will be here before you know it baby; I'm looking forward to telling everyone we love that I am spending the rest of my life with you" I gush.

"I love you Ana" he kisses me passionately, his tongue probing my lips requesting entry.

"I love you" I moan as he lifts me up, carrying me to the bed.

"I need to show you I'm not the man you saw today" he begs.

"Christian I know you're not that person" I assure him.

"I want to show you how much I love you" he pulls my dress above my head, before taking his clothes off and joining me on the bed.

"Yes…make love to me Christian" his fingers rub against my wet panties.

"You're the only woman I've ever made love to and there will never be anyone else" he says.

"Only you Christian" I grasp his hard erection as he gasps into my mouth.

He gently pushes me onto my back after he unclasps my bra; his mouth immediately finds my nipples as soon as my bra is taken off. His hands explore my body, touching me everywhere as he gently kisses and sucks at my nipples. He repeats the process on my other nipple before slowly kissing his way down my body. I can feel the arousal growing as his slowly kisses his way down my stomach, he completely bypasses my sex much to my disappointment and kisses the inside of my thigh. He follows my leg down, before gently sucking on my toes nearly sending me over the edge in the process. I moan as he slowly repeats the same process on my other foot, placing light kisses all the way back up my leg as I struggle desperate with need.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan as his lips finally find my sex.

His openly kisses my sex, exploring me thoroughly with his tongue as he holds my hips urging me not to move. I'm on the edge but as much as I want a release, I want to feel him inside of me when I do. His actions show me how much he loves me, I have never doubted that but right now I need to feel him closer to me.

"Christian….please…" I beg.

"I've got you" he gently slides a finger into me.

"No, Christian….I want you…please make love to me" I moan.

He stops and just looks at me, clearly surprised at my boldness. Within seconds he crawls up my body, his lips finding mine. His tongue joins mine just as he slides himself into me; I can taste the evidence of my arousal on him which is strangely arousing. Opening my eyes, I immediately find his…I can see the love in his eyes but I can also see the guilt in them. I don't know that I will ever be able to convince Christian that everything that happened was not his fault.

"Oh God….You feel so good" he thrusts into me deeply, rubbing against my clit.

"Christian…." I moan.

Sensing my need, he increases his pace thrusting into me harder and deeper as he pinches my nipple but the entire time his eyes don't leave mine. Tonight is different; it's as if I can feel him showing me how much he loves with every touch. With every movement, with every kiss it's as if our connection grows deeper. With our eyes still on each other, moments later we find our release together.


	43. Chapter 43

_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting...real life got in the way over the holiday weekend! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday as we welcome fall this month. Thank you for your continued feedback, support and encouragement. I absolutely love reading each of your comments and reviews!_

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 43 APOV**

"Mr. Grey, Ana" Taylor greets us over breakfast the next morning.

"Good morning Taylor" I reply.

"Taylor" Christian nods.

"When you are finished eating I would like to update you on the situation" Taylor requests.

"We can do this now" Christian says.

"It's fine" I agree as Taylor looks to me before joining us at the table.

"Ms. Williams has been admitted to a psychiatric facility as arranged by Dr. Flynn" Taylor begins. "Although he can't give us specific details about her treatment, he agreed to inform us of her discharge once they start planning for it. He believes she will be there for the foreseeable future though."

"Hopefully she can get the help she needs" I sigh.

"What about Elena and Mr. Murphy?" Christian asks.

"Mr. Murphy was arrested last night and charged with attempted murder. The detective I spoke with does not believe he will be granted bail given the seriousness of the crime, however I think it would be wise to speak to your father" Taylor suggests.

"I spoke with him this morning" Christian confirms.

"An arrest warrant was issued last night for Elena as well…." Taylor says.

"But?" I ask, hearing the hesitation in his voice.

"The police are not able to locate her currently" Taylor grimaces.

"WHAT?! How is this fucking possible?" Christian screams.

"I'm looking into it sir, but it appears she slipped out at some point last night" Taylor explains. "We believe she was tipped off."

"By who? There is no way Leila tipped her off!" Christian yells.

"We don't know sir," Taylor answers. "Mr. Murphy was at his home but when the police arrived at Elena's home she was nowhere to be found. Clothes were scattered throughout her bedroom and they believe luggage was missing."

"She ran" I conclude.

"We believe so" Taylor confirms. "She won't get far; her bank accounts have all been frozen."

"Except for the one overseas" Christian says.

"Her passport has been revoked and her name has been flagged if she attempts to rent a car or purchase an airline ticket" Taylor explains.

"Whoever was supposed to be fucking watching her last night is fired! This never should have happened!" Christian exclaims.

"His employment has already been terminated" Taylor says.

"I want security increased on my entire family…including Kate" Christian orders.

"Already taken care of sir" Taylor replies.

"How could this happen? Who could have tipped her off?" I ask as we settle into the greet room.

"She has a lot of friends, I'm sure she knows someone in the police department or a judge's office" Christian sighs.

"Shouldn't you be going to work today?" I glance at the clock.

"I think I'm going to spend the day right here with you instead" he pulls me close to him.

"Speaking of work….I'm beginning to send my resume out since graduation is in a week" I tell him a few minutes later.

"You know you don't need to work, right? I have more than enough money to take care of you for the rest of our lives" he says.

"I know" I sigh. "I want to work…it's been so hard just sitting around here since the accident; I need to do something. I'm not the type of woman who is content with living off of you or just spending your money."

"I know that baby" he kisses my neck as I rest against him. "I'm just saying you don't have to work if you don't want to."

"My mother went from guy to guy because she could never afford to be on her own…I don't want to be like her and just be with someone for money" I say quietly. "I want to feel like I'm productive, doing something."

"How about Grey Publishing?" he suggests.

"Grey Publishing?" I ask confused.

"It was SIP but we just changed the name over to Grey Publishing a few weeks ago" he explains.

"I don't know Christian" I sigh. "I think it would be obvious why I was hired, especially once we get married. I don't want to have a job simply because my husband owns the company."

"I could just forward your resume to HR, I wouldn't be involved in the hiring process beyond that" he says.

"I don't know…I'll think about it" I reply reluctantly. "I've just started to send out my resume, but I do have one interview lined up next week."

"Oh? Where?" he asks.

"I'm not telling you!" I exclaim.

"What? Why not?" he asks.

"So you can pull strings and force them to hire me? No thanks" I laugh. "I will take Sawyer with me of course but I'm going to swear him to secrecy as well."

"I wouldn't do that" he smirks.

"Yes you would" I giggle.

"Well…maybe" he agrees. "You could always wait until after the wedding and honeymoon to start working?"

"I know…besides it might take me that long to find a job" I admit.

"You'll find something" he assures me.

We spend the rest of the day lounging on the couch, watching television with Christian occasionally taking a break to respond to emails or make a few phone calls. As crazy as yesterday turned out to be, it's been nice spending today with Christian and especially just relaxing today. It's still kind of frightening knowing that Elena is still out there but I'm confident that she will be caught soon. Even with all the money she has, there's only so far she will be able to get without a passport or even being able to buy an airline ticket.

"My mom has invited us to dinner tonight" Christian says Sunday morning over breakfast.

"Okay" I reply.

"Elliot and Kate will be there too" he informs me.

"Oh good, it would be nice to see them again" I smile.

"Have you thought about the wedding party yet?" he asks.

"I know I want Kate as my Maid of Honor, but beyond that no" I answer.

"I want Elliot as my best man, so that works out well" Christian replies happily.

"What about Mia? Should she be a bridesmaid?" I ask.

"I think that's up to you" Christian answers.

"I would feel bad leaving her out" I admit.

"Why don't we think about it? We don't need to decide right now" he assures me. "Besides, she won't be left out…she's practically planning the entire wedding."

"Very true" I giggle.

"I don't know that I ever told you that I'm handing out diplomas at your graduation ceremony next week" he announces.

"Oh? I didn't know that" I say surprised.

"My public relations department arranged it…apparently the college wants to do it as a thank you for the donations I have made. I don't see the big deal, but my PR department suggests it would be good for my image or something like that" he grimaces.

"I'm sure it's an honor" I gush.

"The only good part will be handing you your diploma" he kisses me deeply. "Seeing you finally get your diploma despite all your setbacks."

"Speaking of setbacks…." I begin nervously. "I think we…well I…should tell your family today about my past…well not all of it of course…just a modified version."

"You know you don't have to right baby?" he asks.

"I know" I sigh. "But, it's only a matter of time before the press gets wind of the fact that you are dating someone-"

"Engaged to" he interrupts smiling.

"Engaged to someone who used to be homeless…I don't want your family or even Kate to learn that from a reporter" I say.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of" he assures me.

"Trust me, I'm not ashamed that I had to live in shelters to get by" I say proudly. "It's what I needed to do in order to better my life. I just know it's going to come up in articles and I don't want them wondering if it's true or not. Since we're going there for dinner tonight, I thought I might as well do it."

"Whatever you want baby" he kisses me deeply again. "You know I'll be there for you; I won't let anyone tarnish your name in the media."

"If you keep kissing me like this we will never make it to your parents" I moan as he kisses me again.

"We have time…" He picks me up quickly causing me to squeal in surprise. I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me up to our bedroom.

Christian lays me on the bed and begins taking his clothes off just as his phone starts ringing. He quickly hits the ignore button, placing it on the nightstand before lying next to me in bed. Our lips just meet when his phone starts ringing again…

"Do you need to get that?" I ask breathlessly.

"No…screw whoever it is" he whispers, nipping my ear as he pulls me closer to him.

The phone stops ringing seconds later and his lips once again find mine. As our tongues find each other, our hands explore each other's bodies as the need to be closer to one another takes over.

"FUCK!" Christian grunts as his phone starts ringing again.

"Go…answer it" I sigh.

"I'm sorry" he mouths as he grabs his phone. "WHAT?"….."What the fuck! Can't you handle it? Are you sure? UGH…fine!"

"Everything okay?" I ask as Christian slams the phone down on the nightstand.

"No…I have to fly to New York Monday morning" he sighs. "A deal is apparently falling through and they are demanding to meet with me or they won't sell."

"Oh" I say, not really sure what to say at this point.

"Wait…when is your interview next week?" he asks.

"Let me check" I quickly look at my calendar in my iphone. "Next Friday."

"Come to New York with me" he suggests.

"Really?" I ask.

"Sure…why not? We can tour the city, take in the sites before we head back" he asks.

"I don't see why not" I answer.

"Great!" He kisses me. "I need to make a few calls to get everything ready for tomorrow and have Andrea rearrange my schedule, can I take a rain check on this?"

"You better" I smirk.

A couple of hours later Taylor is driving us to Christian's parent's house and I don't know why but I'm sort of nervous. I know his family likes me, I just can't help but think they will look at me differently after hearing about my past. I don't intend to tell them everything; I'm not prepared to tell anyone but Christian about what Stephen did to me but I'm going to have to give them something when I explain why I ran away at 16. I'm not ashamed of my past; it's helped make me the strong person I am today. I just wish that everything about my past wasn't so complicated. I wish I didn't have to worry about what the press might find when they print a picture of me and Christian together or when our engagement is announced.

"Christian, Ana…it's so nice to see you both again" Grace greets us at the door.

"Thank you for inviting us to dinner" I say as we walk in.

"You are welcome anytime dear" Carrick kisses me lightly on the cheek.

"I cannot thank you enough" Grace whispers as she hugs me tightly. "Christian rarely came to family dinners before he met you. You have changed his life more than you know."

"Mother" Christian hugs Grace as soon as she released me, leaving me stunned at her words.

"Everyone is in the great room, dinner will be served in a few minutes" Carrick explains.

"Ana!" Kate exclaims.

"Kate! I haven't seen you in forever!" I say sitting next to her on the soft couch.

"Can you believe we graduate next week?" she asks excitedly.

"I know!" I laugh. "Where has the time gone?"

"I miss living with you" she whispers. "Elliot is so messy!"

"I miss you too Kate" I hug her.

"Maybe we can do dinner one night this week?" she asks.

"We will have to see…We're leaving for New York in the morning-" I explains.

"Wait…New York?" she interrupts.

"Yes" I laugh. "Christian has to go there for a meeting so he invited me to come along to see the city."

"He's flying to New York City for a meeting?" she asks shocked.

"I know!" I smile.

"Dinner is served" Grace announces and we all make our way to the dining room.

"So Ana, Kate you both are graduating next week I hear. What are your plans after graduation?" Carrick asks over dinner.

"I will be working as a reporter with a newspaper my dad owns" Kate answers proudly.

"I am sending out my resume and have an interview lined up next week" I explain hopefully. "I'd like to get involved in the publishing field."

"Congratulations to you both" Grace says raising her glass.

"Yes congratulations" Carrick mumbles.

"How's the wedding planning coming?" Mia asks.

"We have pretty much finalized the guest list" Christian shares. "We are just at one hundred guests as we originally wanted."

"We have also decided that we will not be having the guests sit on specified sides during the ceremony" I say.

"Oh I've seen some really cute signs in some magazines that I can show you" Mia says happily.

"We were hoping to take a walk around tonight after dinner if it's not too dark and pick a location for the ceremony" Christian replies.

"Of course" Grace smiles. "I was out looking the other day and I think you have several options depending on the time of day and the look you both want."

"We were thinking as the sun sets over the water" I say.

"How pretty!" Kate gushes.

"I have a list of vendors for you Christian" Mia chimes in. "They have all signed an NDA already."

"Wow…thanks Mia" Christian says surprised.

"You did tell me to start planning right?" she asks.

"Yes, I am just surprised that you had this much done already" he admits.

"I have a meeting with a printer this week to pick up samples of invitations that I was hoping to bring by next week" Mia says.

"We're going to New York tomorrow but as soon as we return I will let you know" Christian explains.

"Ana, my mom is eager to meet with you too" Kate says. "We have graduation on Saturday…maybe Sunday or one day the following week?"

"Sure Kate…that sounds perfect" I agree.

"Speaking of graduation and the wedding planning" Christian pauses to look at me a few minutes later. "We expect the media will soon be publishing articles about us; I have no idea why but they seem to be fascinated with me which I expect only to increase as they learn of our engagement."

"It's a shame you two have to worry about the media" Grace says.

"There is something I wanted to tell you all before you before you read it in the media…" I take a deep breath as Christian squeezes my hand tightly. "I expect reporters will likely begin digging around to find out what they can about me…well as soon as they learn my name anyway. One thing that I expect them to find pretty easily is the fact that I was homeless on and off while attending college."

"Homeless?" Elliot asks.

"Oh dear" Grace says sympathetically.

"Off and on, Elliot but yes" I admit. "I spent some time living in homeless shelters and other times I lived in boarding homes in much less than desirable neighborhoods. It wasn't until right before the holidays that I moved in with Kate that I really had a rough over my head."

"I always suspected that Ana" Kate admits quietly. "I kept trying to get you to move in with me but you never would."

"I knew I could never afford to stay with you" I smile sadly at Kate. "Once I received a scholarship at school I finally found that I had a little bit of extra cash and could take you up on your offer."

"You know I never expected you to pay rent Ana" she says.

"I know Kate" I sigh. "But I couldn't expect to live with you rent free."

"Why were you homeless? Where are your parents?" Mia asks.

"Mia!" Grace exclaims.

"It's okay Grace" I assure her. "My dad passed away in a car accident when I was younger…and my mother…well let's just say we didn't always see eye to eye growing up. I ran away when I was sixteen but finished high school and was able to get a scholarship to attend college which is how I ended up in Seattle."

"I'm sorry to hear about your dad" Mia says.

"I'm not telling all of you this for sympathy, trust me I'd like nothing more than to not have to tell you" I say. "But, with the media learning about us it's very likely they are going to figure out what my living situation sooner rather than later. After all, it didn't take Christian's team very long to find out where I lived. I just wanted you each to hear it from me rather than reading it in a magazine or in the paper and wonder if it was true."

"You should be proud of how far you have come dear" Grace replies.

"I am Grace" I say proudly. "I'm not ashamed of where I had to live; I managed to put myself through college without taking out a student loan or living off of anyone."

"How about we all have some wine and desert in the great room" Grace suggests a few minutes later.

"Christian can I see you for a moment?" Carrick asks as we are making our way to the great room.

"Of course, Ana I will be right back" he kisses me gently on the cheek.

"Have you thought about flowers for the wedding Ana? Or centerpieces?" Mia asks.

"I think candles would be nice in the centerpieces somehow" I answer after giving it some thought. "It's going to be getting dark when the reception occurs so the candles would provide a nice warm light to the tables."

"We can have floating candles surrounded by rose petals" Mia suggests.

"Oh that sounds pretty" I gush.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES!" We hear Christian scream a few minutes later.

Grace and I look at each other before standing up and following the yelling which is now increasing as we approach what I assume is Carrick's office.

"Christian, it's for your own good-" Carrick says loudly.

"I said no! That's final!" Christian screams as Grace opens the door.

"What is all the commotion?" Grace asks as I shut the door behind me.

"It's nothing, Christian and I were just having a discussion" Carrick tries to reassure her.

"It didn't sound like a discussion" Grace replies sharply.

"We have a different of opinions" he grimaces.

"He wants me and Ana to sign a prenup" Christian explains angrily.

"It's for your own good" Carrick says. "You haven't known her very long-"

"I've known her long enough! Are you questioning our decision to get married?"

"Son…what do you really know about her? How do you know she is not after your money? You haven't even been together for a year!" Carrick points out.

"Carrick, you know I love you" Grace interrupts. "But right now you're being an ass! You and I were married six months after we met and you're criticizing them?"

"That was different" he huffs. "One of us wasn't as well off as Christian is; hell even our parents didn't have anywhere near the money he has! I'm just trying to protect him from…her."

"Christian…I don't mind…if you want me to sign-" I whisper.

"No!" he says firmly. "Neither of us are signing a piece of paper that plans how we will separate things if our marriage ends. We are not going into this marriage planning for the end!"

"Son-" Carrick says.

"No! I don't care about the money, about my company, about my cars or about the penthouse. If Ana leaves me none of it will matter! I refuse to plan for the end of our marriage! Do you and Mom have a prenup?" he screams.

"No of course not…" Carrick admits.

"Then why should we?" Christian demands.

"Because you don't know anything about this girl! She just admitted she was a teenage runaway and was homeless for years; God knows what she learned while living on the streets! She's probably only after your money!" Carrick accuses.

"Carrick!" Grace covers her mouth in shock.

"Carrick…" I take a deep breath trying to calm myself before I respond. "You might have found it beneficial to ask why I ran away before you made assumptions about the type of person I am."

"You already said…because you and your mother didn't see eye to eye" Carrick huffs.

"You're right" I say angrily. "We didn't see eye to eye on the importance of keeping her own child safe from the man who repeatedly beat her. We didn't see eye to eye on using illegal drugs in front of her child. We didn't see eye to eye on allowing someone to tape her child to bed, denying her food for days while beating her to the point of leaving hundreds of scars all over her body. Before you judge Carrick, you really should find out the entire story."

"Ana dear…please…." Grace stutters.

"If you will excuse me" I wipe the tears that I didn't realize until now we're falling. "Christian I will wait for you in the car."

"Christian…I had no idea" I hear Carrick mumble as I walk out of the room.

"Because you didn't ask" Christian grimaces. "Her upbringing was far worse than mine, I can assure you of that. And for you to accuse her of being with me for my money…."

"Son…." Carrick begins.

"No! Enough….I'm going to find my fiancé. If you can't see to support our marriage then you can consider yourself removed from the guest list" Christian screams walking out of the room.

Christian finds me sitting on the front steps of the house; my legs couldn't support me as all the emotions took over and I collapsed on the steps as the door shut behind me. To say that I was shocked at Carrick's behavior would be an understatement. I try to remind myself that he was looking out for his son's best interest but it certainly doesn't excuse the way he spoke to me and about me. Christian doesn't say a word as he lifts me up and carries me to the car where Taylor is waiting the door open.

"I'm so sorry" he whispers as he cradles me on his lap. "I never wanted you to have to tell them what happened to you."

"Why does he hate me Christian?" I sob.

"He doesn't hate you Ana" he gently rubs my back.

"Well if this is how he treats someone he likes I'd hate to see how he treats an enemy" I say.

"He had no right to talk to you the way he did and if it's any consolation I am sure he is getting his ass chewed out by my mom right now" Christian smiles sadly. "I wish you didn't hear any of that."

"Christian, if you want me to sign a prenup I will…I don't care about your money you know that" I tell him.

"No! Like I told him, we are not starting our marriage by planning for the end" Christian says firmly.

"But if it will make your family see that I'm not after your money…" I suggest.

"No! I don't care what my family thinks right now. The two of us are all that matter" he kisses me gently.

We arrive back at Escala a short time later and I struggle to hold my eyes open as we climb the stairs to our bedroom. We both get ready for bed in silence; I don't think either of us really knows what to say. As much as I try to fall asleep I can't stop thinking about what Carrick said and the fact that he basically accused me of only being with Christian for his money. Christian wraps his arms around me tightly, holding me snug against his chest as we both stare into the darkness. 


	44. Chapter 44

_Author's Note: I just loved reading everyone's reaction to Carrick's outburst! This chapter will give you a slight look at what happened after Christian and Ana left along with how they dealt with what he said. _

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 44:**

**Grace's POV:**

"Carrick…I have no words for you right now" I can't even look at him as I hear Christian slam the front door shut.

"How the hell was I supposed to know why she ran away?" he asks.

"Did you really think she was only after his money? My God, after everything she has been through? She was nearly killed when the car hit her and then lost nearly all of her memories over the last couple of years" I ask shocked.

"You have to admit it seems suspicious that she came out of nowhere, completely turned his life around and now they're getting married" he points out.

"No! It's not suspicious! It's called love!" I shout. "Just because she doesn't have a lot of money does not mean she is after his!"

"Mr. Grey, you should know that the person you are describing is not Ana" Kate says as her and Elliot join us. "If you think your son's nightmares are bad, you have never experienced Ana's. They will break your heart as she relives the abuse that I only just heard bits of. Have you ever seen her back? Have you ever noticed the way she tenses whenever someone other than Christian touches her or comes close to touching her back? You have no idea what she has been through!"

"Kate," Carrick begins. "I'm sure that's all part of the act she keeps up to get him to feel sorry for her."

_SLAP_

"How dare you Carrick!" I scream after slapping him hard. "I saw the scars on that poor girl's body when she was brought in after the accident. Her body is literally covered, front and bad, with hundreds of scars. It's a miracle she even survived whatever hell she was forced to live in. I thought you of all people would have more compassion than that!"

"Mom, Kate and I will be leaving now" Elliot announces as Kate glares angrily at Carrick.

"I don't know that Ana will ever forgive you, I know if it was me I sure as hell wouldn't" Kate says angrily.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Carrick asks.

"Tell you what?" I scream.

"About her past?" he asks.

"Confidentiality" I answer. "Christian told me she had scars when she was brought it into the hospital but it in no way prepared me for the site. They are horrific Carrick…I cannot even imagine how most of them were formed. In all my years of working with children and in the ER, I've never seen anything like that. It was not my place to tell you any of this, nor should Ana have had to explain herself to you. Don't you realize how hard that was for her? She didn't only just tell you but Kate, Elliot and Mia all overheard so now they know as well."

"I…." he stutters trying to figure out what to say.

"You need to find a way to fix this. I will not miss my son's wedding because you behaved like an utter ass to our future daughter in law tonight" I slam the office door behind me leaving him standing there with his jaw on the floor.

Never have I ever spoken to Carrick like that before, but never has Carrick acted the way he did tonight. I cannot believe the things he accused Ana of, she has been nothing but wonderful in all the times I've met her. She has changed Christian in more ways than she will ever know; I have never seen him as happy as he is now.

"Mom?" Mia asks as I pour myself a large glass of wine.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that dear" I gently rub her back.

"Is it true?" she whispers.

"Is what true?" I ask confused.

"Did that stuff really happen to Ana?" she whispers.

"Unfortunately" I nod. "I don't know all the details, but yes someone hurt her really bad when she was younger."

"How could Dad say those things to her? How could he think she was only after his money?" she asks.

"I don't know sweetie" I sigh. "Your dad probably thought he was looking out for Christian's best interest but the way in which he did it was completely wrong."

"I'm so mad at him for what he said to her" she says.

"I know, so am I. Try not to get involved though" I advise.

**APOV same day:**

"Are you okay?" Christian asks as we lay in the darkness.

"I…I just can't believe he said those things…that he really thought I was only with you for your money" I whisper.

"I am so sorry that he said those things to you, that he accused you of that" he kisses me gently on my neck while holding me against him.

"Christian, I could care less how much money you have" I turn to look at him. "I wouldn't care if you were dirt poor and struggled to pay your bills."

"I know baby, it's one of the many things I love about you" he kisses me passionately. "From the first time we met, you looked at me like no one else has in a long time. When you spilled coffee on me and insisted on buying me another one, I knew immediately right then and there that you truly had no idea who I was. Any other woman would have insisted I buy them a coffee but you did the complete opposite. When we were in the dance club and you asked what I did, you actually seemed interested in me and not interested in what fancy job title I had so you could determine if I made a lot of money."

"Did you really meet women like that?" I asked surprised.

"You have no idea" he sighs. "That's why when I met you, it was so refreshing. I immediately found myself trusting you, even from the moment you first bumped into me."

"I love you so much Christian" I pull him closer to me, wrapping my leg around his waist as I kiss him deeply.

"Oh Ana" he moans, gripping my ass tightly so I can feel his erection against my sex. "I love you…"

Our clothes are quickly tossed onto the floor as we try to get closer to one another. As emotional as today has been, I need nothing more than to feel Christian against him, to feel his love for me. Our love making is always so passionate, so intense that it always reassures me how much we mean to each other and right now I think that is exactly what we both need especially after the horrible things that Carrick accused me of.

"I need you" Christian gently rolls me onto my back, positioning himself between my legs.

"Yes….please…" I grip his firm ass, pulling him into me.

"So beautiful" he moans into my mouth as he fully enters me.

Christian moves in and out of me slowly, gripping my hands tightly as his eyes tell me how sorry he is for everything that happened tonight. Not only can I see the guilt and sorrow in his eyes, but I can feel them in his movements as if he is trying to tell me how sorry he is and how much he doesn't believe a word Carrick said. Our eyes are glue to each other, his grey to my blue which increases the need in both of us. The love I feel for him and can feel from him overwhelms me sometimes and right now is one of those times.

"Christian….I….ohhhhhhhhhh" I moan loudly as I find my release, getting lost in his eyes.

"ANA!" Christian screams as I feel him find his own release.

"I love you" I run my fingers up and down his back, holding him close to me, not yet ready for our connection to end.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you" Christian whispers, nipping gently at my ear.

After cleaning up and using the bathroom, we both fall asleep quickly and still naked wrapped in each other's arms. Making love to Christian was exactly what I needed, what I think we both needed, after the situation with Carrick. Although what happened tonight is anything but forgotten, laying in Christian's arms right now somehow makes it more bearable.

_Flashback_

_"Hey slut! What are you doing home?" he asks as I walk through the door to the trailer._

_"School is over" I answer quietly._

_"How many boys did you fuck today?" he scream; I can smell the alcohol on his breath from across the room._

_"None" I whisper._

_"Liar! I bet the boys can't keep their hands off of you! Your tits are finally starting to come in; one day I'm going to get a good look at them" he grasps my shirt hard pulling me towards him._

_"No! Please…." I beg._

_"Don't worry…they're still too little for me. Once your tits get bigger though, they're all mine" he whispers into my ear._

_"Please…don't…." I say._

_"Dear….leave her alone" Mom says from the kitchen._

_"One day, when they're bigger and she's not here" he promises._

_I quickly run to my room, shutting the door behind me and start my homework. I can't wait to get out of this house! I wish I were 18 and could just leave, but that's still three and a half years away. Another night passes by without dinner, but I'm not surprised as I can't even remember the last time we ate dinner in this house. _

_"Bitch! Where are you?" Him screaming wakes me sometime later. _

_It's pitch dark in my room, but suddenly the door is thrown open and I see him angrily approaching my bed. He pulls me by my hair off the bed and onto the floor, kicking my ribs as I fall onto the floor._

_"You cost me another job you bitch!" he screams._

_"I didn't do anything, I've been home all night" I sob._

_"You didn't give me a message that Mike called the other day, he had a big job that was going to pay very well" he pushes my chest down against the bed as his hand comes down hard on my butt._

_"Owwwwwwwww! I put the message on the fridge where you told me too!" I scream._

_"Well…you should have told me the message was there! How the fuck was I supposed to know he called if you didn't tell me?" He screams as he continues to bring his hand down hard on my ass._

_"I'm sorry! Please don't!" I sob as I hear the familiar sound of his belt buckle being undone._

_"You will pay for losing me this job!" He screams as he holds my hands behind my back, pushing my face into my bed harder before the belt buckle pieces my skin._

_"Owwwwwwwwww!" I scream out in sudden pain._

_"Count bitch!" he screams._

_"One" I sob._

_The beating continues for what feels like hours; my ass, back and thighs are on fire from the belt. I continue to count because he beats me harder if I pause or don't count loud enough. _

_"Eighteen!" I scream as the belt lands across the back of my arms, a new spot even for him. _

_End Flashback_

"Ana! ANA! Baby it's okay," I vaguely hear Christian's voice in the background.

I slowly open my eyes, thankful that the nightmare is finally over; it was one of the worst beatings he ever gave me. Christian's arms are wrapped tight around me, he's whispering in my ear but I can't focus on what he is saying. My breathing is heavy and I feel like I'm covered in sweat; I feel dirty just thinking of his hands on me.

"Please…I need…bathroom" I push Christian from me forcefully and run to the bathroom just in time to throw up in the toilet.

Christian is next to me in seconds, wetting a washcloth and placing it on the back of my neck as I collapse next to the toilet. I vaguely hear him moving around the bathroom, the sound of water running quickly fills the room. As much as I want to, I can't move…my mind is just not sending the right signals or something to my body.

"Ana, baby I'm going to put you in the bathtub, if you don't want me to please say so," Christian says gently lifting me so I'm sitting on the steps of the tub.

I grasp onto his arm tightly, not able to convey with words what I want.

"I'll stay with you, I promise" he whispers, gently kissing me on the cheek.

Quickly we are both the tub, my back to his chest with his arms wrapped tightly around me. Slowly my body starts to relax as Christian gently washes me, almost as if he can sense this is exactly what I need. I need to forget, to not feel dirty and to not have the stench of alcohol and stale cigarettes all over me. I have completely lost track of time, we could have been in here for hours except the water is still pretty warm.

"Do you feel better?" Christian asks.

"Yes, thank you" I whisper.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

"Can we get into bed first?" I question.

"Of course" he answers, gently assisting me out of the tub.

We walk back into the bedroom in the warm, amazingly soft towels that are always in Christian's bathroom. I'm still slightly shaking, but not from the cold; Christian immediately sees this and wraps his arms around me tightly.

"What can I do? What do you need?" he asks.

"Just hold me" I whisper.

"Just let me put some pants on" he starts to release me but I grasp his arms tighter.

Sensing what I need he climbs into bed with me, removing both of our towels as we lie in the bed. He pulls me close to him and I immediately lay my head on his chest as his arms wrap protectively around my body. I sigh contently, this is exactly what I needed; I have never felt safer as I do when Christian holds me.

"That must have been a pretty bad nightmare; I've never seen you have to throw up after…." Christian says a few minutes later.

"It used to happen after every nightmare," I sigh. "In the last year, I only remember it happening one other time."

"You don't have to talk about it" he assures me.

"I know," I take a deep breath trying to wrap my head around it. "It was one of the worst beatings he had given me…I think the only one worse was the night I ran away. He was in a bad mood the entire day, or at least once I came home from work. He started making comments about how my breasts were developing-"

"HE WHAT?!" Christian exclaims, tensing around me.

"I was a late bloomer you could say, I had just started really developing breasts and he was quick to point it out. He even told me they were too little for him yet but that one day when they were bigger he would get to see them and that they would be his" my voice full of disgust as I recall the words.

"If I ever get my hands on him…" Christian mumbles.

"My mom's response to that was basically to tell him to behave, but of course it didn't stop him" I sigh. "I always felt his eyes on my chest, it was like he was waiting for the day that he deemed they were big enough. Anyway, later that night when I was sleeping he stormed into my room and threw me to the floor kicking my ribs hard. He said I cost him a job because he didn't see the message I left for him on the fridge. He beat me hard that night; his belt buckle hit me every time, I could feel it piercing my skin each time it came down. He hit my arms that night too; he held them tight behind my back so I couldn't stop him. I couldn't get out of bed for two days after that, my entire body just hurt so bad."

"Oh God baby" Christian kisses me gently. "I wish I could have protected you then; I wish there was something I could do to make the nightmares stop."

"They've become far less since we've been together Christian," I point out. "I used to have them at least several times a week; now it's much less. I haven't had a nightmare since right after we got back from Aspen, so in a way it's getting better."

"I would do anything to make the nightmares stop" he sighs. "I will never let them hurt you again, no matter what I will always protect you."

"I know, it's why I feel so safe right here" I kiss his chest and snuggle closer to him.

"Do you think you can sleep now? Our flight leaves first thing in the morning for New York" he asks.

"I think so," I reply.

Sleep easily finds us, the emotional toll finally catching up with me as my eyes finally close. I sleep soundly the remainder of the night, only waking when I hear Christian's alarm going off only a couple of hours later. I groan at the thought of waking up, my body clearly still tired from the middle of the night interruption. My disappointment is short lived though when I remember that we are going to New York today. I've always wanted to see the city but obviously never had the opportunity.

"Morning" Christian greets me.

"Good Morning" I reply.

"You don't know how bad I want to take advantage of you lying naked next to me right now" Christian rolls over to the side, his hard erection probing my sex gently.

"Hmmmmmmmmm" I moan kissing him deeply.

"Don't have time" he pants.

"You sure?" I ask rubbing myself against him, the need quickly rising within me.

"You're killing me baby" he sighs. "We need to be at SeaTac in less than an hour."

"Crap! I never even packed a bag!" I jump out of bed quickly.

"Relax Ana" Christian says. "Gail packed a bag for both of us."

"Oh thank goodness" I sigh.

"Let's take a shower and then grab breakfast before we run out" he suggests.

"Sounds good" I follow him into the bathroom, watching his firm ass as he goes by.

"Like what you see?" he asks, clearly sensing my eyes on him.

"What?" I blush deeply.

"Come, join me" he tugs at my hand.

The moment I enter the shower his lips are all over me, crushing against mine as he pushes me against the cool tile shower wall. My hands immediately go to the firm ass I was practically drooling over at moments ago, gripping him tightly as I pull him closer to me. His tongue lightly follows the outline of my lips just as his erection rubs against my sex. One hand pinches my nipple, causing me to gasp into his mouth while the other hand grips my ass holding me tight against him.

"I can't wait…I need you" he moans, lifting me up so my legs wrap around his waist.

"God….yes!" I exclaim as he gently slides into me.

"This is going to be fast baby, we don't have much time," he warns.

"Hmmmmmmmm" I moan as he slams into me hard and deep.

My back is still against the shower wall, my arms are wrapped around his neck, holding him tightly as the need quickly overwhelms me. Christian's hand grip my ass tightly, moving me against him so I'm meeting him thrust for thrust; his mouth never leaves me, kissing me, biting my lips or sucking my ears and neck constantly. We're both breathing heavily and moaning loudly; moments later we both find out release together.

"Wow" I whisper.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes…more than okay" I smile.

"I wasn't sure if I was too rough or if you were uncomfortable against the wall" he says.

"Christian, I'm not going to break" I assure him. "Trust me, I enjoyed that very much."

"So did I" he kisses me as he sets me down. "You're the only woman I've ever made love to in here."

"And I will be the last" I kiss him.

"I can't wait" he moans.

We quickly wash up, throw on a pair of clothes and rush downstairs for breakfast which thankfully Gail has waiting for us. Minutes later, Taylor has our bags loaded into the SUV and we are on our way to the airport. As we board Christian's private jet, I realize this is one thing I will never get used to…flying like this, in pure luxury is just amazing. Christian and I quickly sit in the large, leather recliners as he quickly takes out his blackberry to reply to a few emails before we take off. Taylor and Sawyer are accompanying us on our trip while another member of security is with Gail at Escala.

"Are you tired baby?" Christian asks as the pilot indicates that it is now safe to move about the cabin.

"No, actually I'm pretty awake" I answer.

"What do you think about cutting our trip a little short?" he asks.

"Whatever you need to do for work is fine with me Christian, you know that," I answer.

"I was thinking we could leave tomorrow and fly to Vegas" he suggests quietly.

"Vegas?" I ask surprised, Christian seems far from the gambling type.

"I want to marry you, I don't want to wait" he replies. "Please Ana….will you marry me this week in Vegas? I promise it won't be some drive through, Elvis wedding…"

"Is this what you want?" I ask.

"Yes baby, I just want to be with you…I want to start the rest of our lives together now" he kisses me passionately.

"Yes" I moan.

"Yes? You will marry me this week?" he pulls back, looking deeply in my eyes.

"Yes, I will marry you in Vegas" I assure him. "But, there is one thing I want."

"Anything" he replies quickly.

"I want Kate there" I say.

"Of course" he relaxes against me. "I will arrange for Kate and Elliot both to be there."

"What about your parents? What about Mia?" I ask cautiously.

"I don't want my father there" Christian grimaces. "He obviously doesn't support us; we don't need that negativity on our day. I will speak with Elliot and see how we can get Mom there."

"Are you sure you don't want him there?" I ask.

"I'm sure, the way he spoke to you…about you, told me everything I need to know about how he feels" he answers.

"Whatever you want, whoever you want to be there is fine with me," I tell him. "Oh, one other person."

"Who?" he asks.

"Gail" I answer. "I want Gail there."

"Of course, I will have her fly in with Elliot and Kate" he says.

"Do you think you can get everything arranged this fast?" I ask a few minutes later.

"Baby, one thing you will learn is that money talks. I guarantee we will have everything we need waiting for us when we land in Vegas tomorrow night," he assures me.

"So we get married Wednesday?" I ask, hardly believing the words I'm saying.

"I'm thinking Wednesday or Thursday" he says. "Your interview is Friday right?"

"Yes, but not until late in the afternoon" I reply.

"Great, so we could fly out Friday late morning; the flight from Vegas to Seattle is short" he plans.

"I can't believe in a matter of days we're going to be married," I gush.

"Me either baby," he kisses me deeply. "I'm going to call Elliot now, do you want to call Kate?"

"Sure," I quickly take my phone from my purse.

"Hi Ana!" Kate quickly answers the phone.

"Kate, how are you?" I ask.

"Ana, more importantly how are you? I was so shocked that Carrick blew up like that, I'm so sorry you had to go through that" she says.

"I'm okay Kate, really," I assure her. "That's actually why I'm calling."

"Oh?" she asks.

"What are you doing this week?" I ask.

"Just working on my graduation speech," she answers.

"How would you like to fly to Vegas? Say Wednesday morning?" I ask.

"Vegas? Why are we going to Vegas? Oh my God, are you getting married in Vegas?" she rambles.

"Yes," I confirm.

"Oh my! Of course I will be there! What made you guys decide to do it this week? Are you pregnant?" she whispers the last part.

"No! I'm not pregnant Kate!" I exclaim. "We're on our way to New York now and Christian asked how I would feel about taking a detour to Vegas on our way back to get married. He doesn't want to wait."

"I'll bring a few gowns from my mom's shop, I'm sure she will have something that can fit" Kate says.

"Oh, I hadn't thought about a dress" I laugh. "Thank you."

"Is Elliot coming?" Kate asks.

"Christian is talking to him now," I say.

"Perfect! Oh, I'm so excited Ana! So happy for you too," she gushes.

"Thank you Kate, I really appreciate you flying out there," I reply.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," she sobs.

"Oh, Christian says to tell you that he will have the jet waiting to take everyone to Vegas Wednesday morning," I read the note that Christian just slipped me.

"I can't wait! I'll see you Wednesday morning Ana!" Kate exclaims disconnecting the call.

I doze off in the comfy recliner while waiting for Christian to finish talking with Elliot. I am truly shocked that Christian suggested we go to Vegas, although I know I shouldn't be since he wanted a quick wedding from the beginning. It's hard to think that in a couple days I will be Mrs. Christian Grey; if you would have told me this was going to happen when I ran into Christian that day I would have thought you were crazy. Never did I think I would get married, let alone to someone as gorgeous as Christian.


	45. Chapter 45

_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! Unfortunately once again real life was in the way and I wasn't able to work on the story all weekend :-( This chapter is considerably shorter than the rest but you will see at the end why I decided to end the chapter when I did. I hope to have another chapter up in a day or two. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, support and encouragement. I enjoyed everyone's reaction to Christian's suggestion for a Vegas wedding; I only hope I can do you all justice when the time comes._

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 45 APOV:**

We arrive in New York a few hours later, waking only when the plane touches down and Christian gently kisses me on the lips to wake me. Our bags are quickly loaded into a black tinted SUV which I've come to realize is the only thing Christian must feel safe driving in. I'm surprised when we arrive at the Plaza; never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would stay at a place like this. I've only ever seen the hotel in movies or pictures; never did I think I would be sleeping in a place this elegant. I'm just standing in aw, looking at everything in the magnificent lobby while Taylor checks us in and discusses our needs for the next day while we're in the city. Our luggage is quickly taken to our room while Christian and I walk around the lobby and some of the stores before heading up to our suite. Of course it's no surprise that Christian has booked the largest suite the hotel has to offer which I think is entirely too big for just the two of us. This suite is easily larger than Kate's apartment; I never knew hotel rooms were so large – there is even a small piano in the living room! The room has three bedrooms, a full size kitchen, beautiful bathrooms with marble and a view of Manhattan like no other from the master bedroom. Christian explains that the suite has been reconfigured to allow for Sawyer and Taylor to stay with us but still have their own private entrance allowing us to have privacy while we're here.

"Christian…I am speechless….this is beyond beautiful," I say in awe as we tour the suite.

"It also has key security features including a private elevator to insure that no one can access the room without Taylor and Sawyer knowing," he explains.

"You shouldn't have spent all this money Christian, I'm sure a regular room would have been more than enough," I tell him.

"It would have…but I hate staying in anything but a suite when I travel," he says. "The rooms always feel so cramped and you end up eating a meal either on your bed or at a small desk where you were trying to get work done. At least most suites provide you with an eating and living area that does not include you bed."

"I suppose I could see how that would bother you" I giggle. "Growing up, I spent some time in a couple motels that would make your skin crawl. They were ones that offered rooms by the hour and were so disgusting you didn't want to undress to go to bed."

"When did you stay there?" Christian asks.

"Just here and there when my mom was in between boyfriends or when we were evicted from some place for not paying rent. It was always just for a day or two; she always managed to find another dump for us to rent which was at least better than the motels," I answer.

"Well, you will never have to go to a motel again" he vows. "What do you say we shower, change and take a small tour of the city on our way to dinner?"

After a quick shower in a bathroom that was easily the size of half of Kate's apartment, Taylor and Sawyer join us as we head out of the hotel to our SUV and begin the tour of the city. One of our first stops is the Ground Zero Memorial; having seen the coverage on television was nothing compared to seeing the actual area in person. We all talk about what we were doing on that day, where we were when we learned of the news and how we learned of it. Taylor and Sawyer were both in the military at the time but they were stationed overseas which they reported made learning of the incident that much harder as they both wanted nothing more than be at ground zero or nearby helping with the aftermath.

On our way to dinner we stopped to watch the boats on the water including several large cruise ships. I've obviously never been on a cruise ship, but I don't know that it would appeal to me since you are limited to the boat itself while you're traveling to your destination. Christian said he has been on a couple of cruises with his family and while they enjoyed themselves he did not as much, although he complained mostly about the limited technology available on the ships which affected his ability to conduct business while away. I had to laugh at the thought of Christian trying to conduct business on a cruise ship where he was supposed to be on vacation with his family. Over dinner at a very overpriced restaurant we discuss our upcoming wedding plans.

"It looks like a Thursday afternoon ceremony will work perfectly" Christian says reading something on his phone.

"Sounds perfect" I smile.

"Andrea has been working hard to arrange everything so there should be little we need to do when we arrive tomorrow evening" Christian explains.

"You should give her a raise after this" I laugh. "I'm sure she never thought she would be planning your wedding when she signed on as you assistant."

"No I'm sure she didn't" Christian admits. "Of course, if you asked anyone before I met you if they thought I would be planning on getting married in two days they would have called you crazy."

"Same could be said about me" I giggle at the irony given that we are getting married in two days.

"The jet will fly to Seattle to pick everyone up Wednesday morning and bring them to Vegas to join us at the Bellagio hotel. Andrea has scheduled an afternoon at the spa for you, Gail, Kate and Mia Wednesday to pamper each of you before the big day. Hair and make-up will be taken care of on site and the wedding itself will be at the Bellagio too" Christian explains.

"I can't believe Andrea did all this in a matter of a few hours!" I exclaim.

"The woman in truly amazing," he agrees. "You wouldn't believe how many assistants I burned through before I found her. She is the only one who doesn't flinch at my moods and can handle both my professional and personal obligations."

"Is your mom coming?" I ask cautiously.

"Yes" he sighs. "I spoke with Elliot and Mia about my concerns; I don't want my father there after the way he treated you and luckily they both agree with my decision. Turns out my dad is away for the weekend, something about assisting on a case with a colleague in California or something like that. Elliot and Mia are telling my mom that they are surprising her with a trip to Vegas for a show – my mom loves going there for the shows so she of course jumped at the opportunity. She thinks that we are stopping there on our way back from here because you've never been there and wanted to visit. I don't think she is going to suspect that she is coming for our wedding."

"Are you sure you don't want your dad there?" I ask quietly. "Before you say something, I want to be sure you are doing this because this is what you want and not something that you think I want. I will be fine with whatever you decide."

"Ana, baby" he leans across the table kissing me passionately. "I love that you are willing to put this aside for me, but no I don't want him there. I don't want our wedding to be filled with negativity and tension. I know I can't ignore him forever and eventually we will need to speak about what he said to you and about you, but our wedding is not the place for that. I want our wedding to be perfect just like our marriage will be."

"Kate is bringing gowns with her from her mom's shop" I say a few minutes later.

"Andrea has arranged for several formal gowns to be in the room when we arrive so you can decide what you want Kate to wear as your maid of honor" he explains. "There will be a selection of less formal dresses for my mom, Mia and Gail to wear as well. A tux for Elliot and myself will be delivered to the room as well."

"I would like Taylor and Sawyer to attend the wedding as guests" I decide.

"I think that's a very good idea" Christian smiles after thinking about it for several minutes. "Taylor has been with me for so long and really was my rock when you were in the hospital. I can't imagine him not being there."

"Sawyer has been wonderful with me, especially when I came home after the hospital. He took me to every appointment and even took me shopping when I just wanted to get out of the apartment" I point out.

"I will have Taylor arrange for a few members of security to stand in their place during the ceremony," Christian says. "Oh, Roz and her wife Gwen will be flying in for the ceremony Thursday morning; they weren't able to fly in Wednesday because of Roz has several meetings she needs to attend."

"I've heard so much about her, it's going to be nice to finally meet her" I smile.

"I hadn't realized you two never met," he pauses to think about it. "She's my go to person at GEH, my second in command and can handle just about anything that is thrown her way. She was the first person I hired when I started my GEH; I don't think we would be as successful as we are if it were not for her. She puts in just as many long hours as I do and can handle just about anything I throw at her."

""Have you met her wife?" I ask.

"Yes, several times and I was there when they married," he answers. "I only met her once or twice before their wedding which was a beautiful outdoor ceremony followed by an elaborate reception. I guarantee it was mostly what Gwen wanted before Roz is the type who would prefer a small private ceremony without so many people-"

"Sounds like someone I know" I smile.

"I guess that is like what we both wanted," he giggles. "However, since the wedding I've spent more time with Gwen as she would often bring us dinner when we were working late on a deal or she would accompany Roz to various social functions. I think you will like her, she's really nice but knows exactly how to put Roz in her place when needed."

"Our wedding sounds like it's going to be the perfect intimate setting" I say still in awe that all this is happening in a couple of days.

"Are you sure you don't want a big wedding like we were planning? I'm fine if you would rather have that…I know I sort of sprung this on you-" he worries.

"Christian, all I want is to be able to say 'I do' in front of the people who matter most to us" I assure him, squeezing his hand tightly.

"I can't wait to marry you," he kisses me gently on the lips just as the waiter interrupts us with the bill.

After a short ride, we arrive back at the Plaza…back to the enormous room that we are staying in for a single night.

"What are you doing?" Christian asks.

"Taking pictures" I answer.

"Why?" he asks.

"Well….I want to remember this room and I want to send a few to Kate" I explain.

"We can come back here anytime" Christian assures me.

"I don't doubt that but I want to remember our first time here" I explain.

"Play me something on the piano" I request.

"Of course," he smiles leading me over to the piano urging me to sit next to him on the bench.

Seconds later the beautiful sound from the piano fills the room; the talent this man has on the piano is truly amazing. Watching his fingers fly over the keys as his eyes are closed, you can almost see him getting lost in the music as he plays. He has mentioned beginning lessons shortly after he was adopted, so clearly he has been playing for a long time. As the song finishes, Christian turns to me and embraces me tightly kissing me as if I was the only woman on the planet.

"I love you so much" he whispers, nipping at my ear.

"I love you too Christian" I moan as he pulls off my shirt.

"Let's go into the bedroom," he lifts me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as he carries me into the master bedroom.

Within seconds of the door closing we have taken off each other's clothes and we are laying in the oversized king bed with the balcony doors open to the sounds of the city. Christian's lips and hands are all over my body within seconds of laying me down on the bed.

"Christian..." I pant as the excitement builds.

"I got you," he sucks my nipple hard before thrusting himself into me.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I moan at the sudden fullness.

"You feel so good," he whispers.

Christian pulls almost all the way out of me, before slamming hard back into me. I'm clutching his arms tightly, holding onto him almost as if I'm afraid that he will pull completely out if I don't. Just as I'm about to find my release, Christian flips us around so I'm now on top as he urges me to sit up so I'm riding him.

"Ohhhhhhhhh" I moan as this position has him deeper inside of me.

"Ride me baby…I want to see you make yourself come," He says.

I blush deeply at his graphic words which I hate to admit arouse me even more but I start moving up and down against him enjoying the feeling of his sliding in and out of me. I place my hands on his chest for support as the need begins to rise again. Within minutes I'm finding it difficult to control my movements as need completely takes over; Christian hands are firm at my hips just holding me perfectly content with me setting my own pace.

"That's it baby….God you feel so good when you grip me like that," Christian says.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Christian!" I scream as the orgasm finally hits, roaring through my veins as Christian finally starts thrusting into me.

"BABY! ANA!" he screams and moments later I feel him find his own release inside of me.

We quickly fall asleep, our bodies intertwined as we listen to the sounds of the city below us. The next morning arrives far too quickly as I feel Christian leave our bed and go into the bathroom, the shower water starting moments later.

"Good Morning," he greets me as he comes out of the bathroom dressed in a dark grey suit.

"It's too early," I complain.

"Breakfast will be up here shortly if you want to join me before I leave for my meeting," he announces.

"I'm taking Sawyer with me today which leaves Taylor with you for the morning. I should be back by two the latest and we will leave shortly after to head to Vegas. I know I mentioned seeing the sites of the city, but with the wedding I want to get to Vegas to insure that everything is just perfect plus everyone arrives tomorrow morning…" Christian rambles.

"Christian it's fine," I assure him.

"Be sure to order room service for lunch, I don't want to hear that you didn't eat," he warns.

"Yes sir," I giggle.

"If you want to go out, please stick close to the hotel. There are some great shops here that we didn't even get to last night" he points out.

"That's a good idea, I'd like to get something for Kate to thank her for everything," I agree.

"Just take Taylor with you" Christian says.

"I will," I promise.

Moments later, I'm showered and dressed while Christian is responding to emails as he waits for Sawyer to arrive to take him to his meeting.

"Sir, ma'am" Sawyer greets us as Christian opens the door that joins their mini suite to ours.

"Hi Sawyer," I smile.

"Good Morning," Taylor follows Sawyer moments later.

"Taylor, Ana would like to spend some time in the shops at the hotel today," Christian explains.

"Of course sir," Taylor agrees.

"Nothing too extravagant Taylor I promise," I smile. "I just want to find a gift for Kate."

"Whatever you need Ana," Taylor says.

"Mr. Grey, we should leave now in case we hit traffic," Sawyer point out.

"Of course," Christian kisses me deeply, causing me to blush as Taylor and Sawyer are still in the room. "I'll see you this afternoon."

"Have fun," I giggle.

"What time would you like to leave Ana?" Taylor asks as Christian and Sawyer leave.

"I don't know, I guess after breakfast," I say. "Please join me?"

"I already had breakfast, thank you," Taylor declines.

"At least have a cup of coffee Taylor?" I ask.

"If you insist" he smiles, pouring himself a coffee and sitting across the table from me.

"Taylor, I would like to ask you a favor….you can say no of course," I take a deep breath trying to figure out how word my request.

"Whatever you need Ana," he assures me.

"Taylor….I know you know a little of my past," I take a deep breath.

"Mr. Grey has told me nothing that wasn't in the background check" he assures.

"I know," I smile gently. "As you know, I have no family to speak of – certainly no one that I would want at my wedding anyway. Christian has told me how much you were there for the both of us during my accident, when I was in the coma and throughout my recovery when Christian never left my side. I know that without your support he never would have made it through that horrible time. You have always seen to protect me with everything that has happened. You and Gail both welcomed me into Escala when I was so afraid I would be treated like a stranger but instead you both treated me with nothing but kindness. What I'm trying to ask…is will you give me away when I may Christian on Thursday?"

I look up at Taylor for the first time since I began my little speech and catch him as he wipes a single tear from the corner of his eye.

"Ana…." He pauses. "I would be honored to walk you down the aisle and give you to Christian. Nothing would make me happier."

"Thank you Taylor," I sigh in relief.

"Ana, I cannot thank you enough," Taylor says. "You have brightened Escala like no one ever has. Gail and I never thought we would see the day when Christian truly smiled or laughed; that is something he has done at least daily since he met you. It's as if you made him alive and in turn you made Escala alive. Since knowing you Christian became more of a friend than just an employer, something I never thought I would see when I first started working for him. Gail and I will forever be grateful for the day that you bumped into Christian."

Taylor and I spend a couple of hours going through the many stores at the Plaza, searching for the perfect gift for Kate. After going through many stores, I finally decide on a matching necklace and earing set that I think would look perfect on her for the wedding. I reluctantly hand Christian's credit card to the cashier, once again reminded that I don't have access to my own funds. It's going to take me some time before I think I'm going to be fully comfortable using Christian's money on things for myself or like today for my friends. Hopefully if I find a job soon I will be able to contribute to our bank account and then I won't feel as bad for using Christian's money. While I'm shopping I also manage to find a set of engraved cufflinks for Christian that I think would be the perfect wedding gift. We haven't talked about wedding gifts yet, but I want to at least give him something.

When we get back to the suite, Taylor and I order lunch from room service and after some discussion I finally convince him to join me for lunch instead of eating his meal in his suite while I eat mine here both of us by ourselves. I learn more about Taylor as we eat, some of which I knew from talks with Gail but some I didn't. I learn that Taylor grew up in the foster care system when he was removed from his parents' care as a young child. He was never adopted but spend several years with one family that he became very close to. As soon as he graduated high school he joined the military which he believes turned him into the man he is today. After he left the military, he became involved in personal security doing small jobs here and there until a friend of his recommended him for a position with Christian.

Christian arrived not long after lunch while I was packing our bags; he wasn't in a very good mood as his meeting at apparently not turned out how he planned. He didn't want to talk about it but balked orders at Roz and Andrea over his phone on our way to the airport. Thankfully after a few drinks in the air, he was in a much better mood actually poking fun at some of the ill prepared members of his meeting. A few hours later we are back in the Western part of the states as we touch down in Las Vegas. As the plane approaches the runway, the view is truly amazing. It's late so the entire city is lit up, you can see flashing lights from the sky even before you see the airport. The city looks alive despite how late it is…I'm looking forward to seeing the sites of Vegas if time allows at some point on this trip but more importantly I'm looking forward to becoming Mrs. Anastasia Grey.


	46. Chapter 46

_Author's Note: I cannot apologize enough for the delay in posting this chapter; real life took over and I had absolutely no time to write. Between a crazy and demanding job, three children and then getting sick the last week has been very busy. Hopefully more regular updates will resume now that life seems to have settled down some. Many thanks for those who have been so patient while waiting for this update and especially a thanks to those who sent me messages!_

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 46 APOV:**

Christian and I are quickly escorted to an awaiting black SUV while Taylor and Sawyer unload our bags from the plane. Checking my phone, I see several emails from Kate with several pictures of wedding gowns that she thinks I would like. I try to be discrete so Christian doesn't see the pictures however he is busy responding to his own emails that I realize I don't need to worry about him looking over my shoulder. I ask Kate to bring two of the gowns that she sent me pictures of that are just my style, simple but elegant. Kate quickly responds that the two I picked were her favorites as well which makes me smile even more knowing how well Kate knows me.

"You look happy," Christian observes.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask. "I'm going to marry the man I love in a matter of days and will be surrounding by those who matter the most to us."

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you," Christian kisses me deeply just as the SUV comes to a stop outside the hotel.

"Sir, ma'am….we have arrived," Taylor informs us.

I gasp as I step out of the SUV fully taking in the view of the magnificent hotel in front of us, complete with the most amazing fountains I have ever seen. The water seems to rise and fall in perfect harmony with the music that plays softly around us, the lighting in the water itself intensifies the setting even more.

"I will check you in," Taylor disappears quickly.

"Christian….this is…." I stutter not being able to find the words to describe what I'm seeing.

"Being here with you is like seeing it for the first time," Christian wraps his arms around my waist, holding me tight against him as we watch the fountains.

A few minutes later, Taylor returns to the SUV and quickly drives us around to a separate entrance where I learn that Christian has reserved three of the villas for our stay for the next few days. Christian explains that we will be in the one villa, Taylor and Sawyer plus the remaining security team will be in the second one and on the other side of that villa will be all of our guests. I cannot even imagine how much staying here even one night must cost let alone renting out three of the villas for several days. I know better than to even bring it up to Christian, I don't know that he will ever understand that sometimes he doesn't need to go all out – a simple hotel room would have been more than enough for me. With a butler's assistance, our bags are unloaded into one of the villas while Sawyer and Taylor's bags are unloaded into another. Christian quickly excuses everyone as he leads me into what will be our home for the next several days.

"Oh my!" I gasp as we walk into the villa.

This villa makes Kate's apartment look tiny; walking into the villa you would think that you were walking into a house…not a hotel and certainly not a villa. Christian and I tour our new surroundings, taking in everything that it has to offer and I quickly realize that I could easily spend the next several days never leaving this magnificent place. Christian explains that all three villas have pretty much the exact same layout and are all similar in size. The villas each have three bedrooms, seven bathrooms (who needs seven bathrooms?!), a gym, a massage room, a hair salon, a full kitchen, a balcony, an in ground swimming pool and several gardens. There are even several fireplaces both inside and outside the villa! This place immediately feels entirely too large for just Christian and myself, we won't have time to even use a quarter of the rooms in this villa let alone the other two villas!

"What do you think?" Christian asks as we sit in the lounge chairs by the pool.

"Christian…this is all too much…." I sigh. "A simple hotel room would have been more than enough."

"An ordinary hotel room for our wedding night? Not in a million years Ms. Steele," Christian smirks. "If we were traveling just overnight I might agree with you, but we are here to celebrate our future together….and you deserve only the best. Besides this place is perfect, it allows for privacy and security neither of which we would have if we were staying in the main section of the hotel. Our guests can all stay together and there's plenty of room for us to have dinner together or just hang out when they arrive. The salon and massage rooms will be perfect for you and the girls on Thursday morning, you won't need to go anywhere or risk being seen as you get ready."

"Well you have a point there," I sigh.

"I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. What do you say we go break in that big bed we saw upstairs?" Christian suggests.

Before I can respond, Christian grasps my hand and pulls me out of the lounge chair against his firm body. We are barely in the house when Christian begins pulling my clothes off, leaving a trail as we make our way up the beautiful arched stairway to the master bedroom. When we finally find the bed both of our clothes have been long gone and we are both desperate with need. Our breath is heavy, our hands are all over each other and neither of us can seem to get enough of each other.

"I need you," Christian pants as he lays me down on the bed, positioning himself above me.

"Please….Christian," I beg, wrapping my legs around his thighs.

"There's something about having you here," he slowly pushes into me. "Knowing that you are going to be my wife in two short days." _Thrust_ "That has me so turned on." _Thrust_ "I'm not going to last much longer…"

"Christian….I'm so close….Oh God….." I scream out as he slams into me.

"With me…I love feeling you come with me," Christian whispers, his hands gripping my ass tightly pulling me closer to him.

"Yes! Oh…..CHRISTIAN!" I come moments later, holding him deep inside of me as he finds his own release.

"Oh Ana…." He says breathlessly as we both come down from our orgasms.

"God….that was…." I whisper.

"I know…." He sighs.

"I love you," I kiss him deeply.

"And I….for the rest of my life," he slowly pulls out of me, rolling to his side before pulling me against him.

We sleep peacefully in each other's arms, in the center of this oversized bed for the rest of the night. We both sleep late the next morning, clearly the traveling the day before took its toll on both of us although I'm sure our late night activities added to our exhaustion. Christian woke me up in the middle of the night and we made love with the moonlight shining through our windows. As I lay here listening to Christian breathing, I can't help but smile at the thought that tomorrow we will be married and will begin our future together. I slip out of bed, use the bathroom and throw on a robe that was hanging on the door before returning to our room to find Christian still sound asleep. I quickly take out my phone and check my email before deciding to compose a very difficult email. I read the email several times before taking a deep breath and hitting the send button. As hesitant as I am about sending the email, I know this is something I need to do. Before I turn the phone off, I see an email from Kate and can't help but laugh as I read her thoughts on Christian's jet.

"What's so funny?" Christian asks.

"Kate," I giggle. "She's in love with your jet."

"They're on the plane? What time is it?" he sits up suddenly.

"A little after ten," I answer.

"I can't believe I slept so late! Have you been up long?" he jumps out of bed, using the bathroom before I even respond.

"Only a few minutes," I sigh.

"Did you sleep good?" he asks.

"Very well Mr. Grey," I smirk, kissing him.

"Hmmmmm….so did I," he smiles against my lips.

"What are the plans for today?" I ask.

"Kate, Elliot, Gail and my Mom will be brought here by the extra security we have hired for this week. I've arranged for an early dinner to be delivered here but light refreshments will be in their villa incase they are hungry after traveling. As much as I don't like the idea, I'm sure my mom and sister will insist that we not spend the night together tonight-" Christian explains.

"What? Why not?" I interrupt.

"Because we're not supposed to see each other before the wedding," Christian smiles. "But I intend to spend every minute of today with you."

"UGH….stupid traditions," I sigh.

"We have more plans tomorrow, but today is fairly relaxed. What do you feel like doing?" he asks.

"Honestly?" I ask, he nods. "I'd love to spend the afternoon pool side. I can't remember the last time I went swimming."

"Really?" He asks surprised.

"There was a pool at the university, but I didn't use it. I would much rather swim outside than in a gym…The gym always smelled like chlorine; I'd rather have the sun shining on me as I swim," I explain.

"Then we will do just that, spend the afternoon at the pool," Christian declares.

"You don't mind? If you want to see the city, I'm fine with that too," I point out.

"Baby, I've seen Vegas several times. Right now, I want to do whatever you want. If you want to spend the day swimming then we will do just that. I only want to spend the day with you," he pulls me close to him, hugging me tightly.

We spend the next several hours eating, laughing, drinking and swimming in our private pool that is just off the villa. Christian only checks his phone a couple times while we are outside, but I think the majority of the time he is communicated with Andrea or Taylor about the wedding because he talks in hushed tones and has had a smile on his face almost all day.

"Everyone is checking into the villa now and I expect will be joining us shortly," Christian announces a couple of hours later.

"Thank you for spending the day here with me, this is absolutely perfect," I sigh, lying next to him on the lounge.

"I wouldn't spend today any other way," he kisses me and pulls me close to him just as we hear a commotion on the other side of the locked gate.

"I guess that would be them," I giggle.

"I thought they would at least give us a few more minutes," he frowns.

"You can unlock it Taylor," Christian yells.

"Oh my God Christian! This place is amazing!" Kate screeches as she rushes towards us.

"I'm glad you like it Kate," Christian laughs.

"Like? I'm in love with this place, with your jet, hell with everything! Thank you for inviting me!" Kate surprises Christian but hugging him. I see him flinch slightly at the close contact but thankfully she ends the embrace before he can react.

"Ana! I can't wait to show you everything we brought!" Mia exclaims hugging me tightly. Like Christian, my body immediately tenses at the contact but she quickly drops her arms almost as if she realizes I'm uncomfortable. In that split second, that sudden movement, I realize she overheard the entire conversation with Carrick. Before I can focus on that, Grace comes up and hugs me gently, kissing me on the cheek.

"It's so nice to see you again, Ana," Grace whispers. "Thank you for inviting me."

"I'm so glad you could come," I smile, holding the tears back.

"How was your flight?" Christian asks as we all sit down.

"Very comfortable as always," Mia sighs.

"I've never flown in a private jet before, it was amazing Christian!" Kate exclaims.

"I've arranged for an early dinner to be delivered in about an hour, but if you're hungry I can see about having it delivered earlier," Christian announces.

Everyone decides to wait for dinner, we sit around the pool drinking wine and chatting about everything and nothing. Grace still does not know that she is here for a wedding tomorrow, so our conversations carefully steer clear of anything involving that. Christian and I discussed it earlier and decided we would wait until after dinner tonight to update her on our plans, until then everyone does a great job at keeping the conversation away from wedding planning and wedding details. Christian and Taylor briefly touch base, insuring that for now the paparazzi are not aware of our plans and have not been tipped off that we are all in Vegas. Our original plan of announcing our engagement at the Coping Together Gala will still occur except that we will be announcing our marriage.

Our dinner arrives a short time later, the table is set perfectly by the wait staff. Once again Christian has outdone himself, in my opinion a simple pizza or sandwich dinner would have been fine for everyone. Christian arranged for prime rib, roasted summer vegetables with a side of mushroom risotto as well as several small pies for desert. There are several bottles of chilled wine and liquor in the well-stocked bar just off the dining room which everyone quickly helps themselves to before sitting at the table. Gail, Taylor and Sawyer have joined us for dinner which Christian insisted on.

"I want to thank all of you for joining us for the next couple of days," Christian says, raising his glass. "It means so much to both Ana and myself that all of you dropped everything to come here with us. Mom….we were going to wait until after dinner, but I don't know that I can keep a secret much longer."

"Christian?" Grace whispers.

"Mom, you are not here to join us for a show or so Ana can see Vegas for the first time," he takes a deep breath. "You are here to attend our wedding, which is occurring tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh! I….Wow….Congratulations!" Grace gasps before running over to hug us both.

"Thank you," she sobs into my ear as she hugs me tightly.

"Our wedding will take place tomorrow at the Terrazza Di Sogno here at the Bellagio at two in the afternoon with a small intimate reception to follow. Everyone who sits at this table right now will be our guests at the wedding tomorrow plus Roz and her wife Gwen who will be flying in first thing tomorrow morning. It was important to the both of us that each of you were able to join us, to celebrate with us as we begin this next step in our lives. To friends and to family," Christian raises his glass.

"To family," everyone raises their glasses before taking a sip.

"Christian, Ana dear what else needs to be done before tomorrow? Surely there must be tons of things that need to be taken care of tonight?" Grace asks as we begin eating dinner.

"Actually, everything is taken care," Christian explains. "Kate brought gowns for Ana, we have several dresses being delivered to your villa this evening for each of the women to look through and decide what they want to wear. All tuxes for the men have been ordered and were delivered earlier today. Flowers, decorations and other arrangements have all been finalized as of this morning. Kate, Mom, Ana and Gail….the salon staff will be at your villa tomorrow morning to take care of your hair and nails. Shoes and jewelry will also be delivered with your dresses….I think that's everything."

"Wow…how did you plan all this?" Grace asks surprised.

"Andrea is actually the one responsible for all of this," Christian smiles.

"That women deserves a raise," Grace sighs.

"I said the same thing," I laugh. "I can't believe she managed to pull all of this together on such short notice."

"How long have you been planning to do this?" Grace asks.

"Christian suggested it on our way to New York the other day," I answer.

"Wow, Andrea really did work fast," Grace laughs.

"I can't believe tomorrow you are going to be my sister!" Mia exclaims happily.

The rest of dinner is spent discussing the wedding details for tomorrow with some minor complaints from Elliot about not being able to plan a bachelor party. Christian immediately put him in his place letting him know that no matter when the ceremony was he would not have been planning a bachelor party in the first place. Everyone has a good laugh as Elliot throws a dinner roll across the table at Christian, who quickly catches it only to throw it back to Elliot hitting him square in the face. As Christian predicted, after dinner the women whisk me away to their villa which is pretty much the exact same as the one I am staying at with Christian. Everyone picks out the dresses for the next day, except me. I decide to wait until morning to try on the gowns, I know both will fit perfectly and they are both absolutely beautiful. We all fall asleep shortly after midnight, in various beds and on couches throughout the villa. Gail tried to go back to the security villa, but I insisted she remain here with us. Although I want her here as a guest I know she's having a difficult time turning off her role as an employee to Christian but right now I just want her to relax. After a few more glasses of wine, she did seem to feel more comfortable and even made a few jokes about Christian's cooking experiences when she first started working for him.

"It's your wedding day ANA!" Kate jumps on my bed waking me up.

"UGH Kate! What time is it?" I ask grumpily.

"Seven! It's time to get up! We have so much to do!" Kate exclaims, literally jumping up and down on the bed.

"You're not awake yet?" Mia barges into my room.

"I am now," I sigh. "You two are too much."

"Christian sent over breakfast, hurry up!" Mia announces.

"I'll be down in a minute," I reluctantly get out of the nice warm bed and use the bathroom before heading downstairs.

"Good Morning Ana," Grace greets me.

"Morning," I reply.

"I made you a cup of tea," Gail hands me a warm mug.

"You know you didn't need to do that Gail, but thank you," I hug her gently, grateful for the small gesture.

"Your future husband took care of everything this morning," Mia points to the large spread of food on the dining room table.

"I'm not surprised," I laugh.

"The salon staff will be here at ten for hair, make up and nails….plus we need to try on your dress, pick out your accessories and shoes. Everyone else needs shoes and accessories too," Mia rambles.

"Mia! Let the poor girl eat!" Grace exclaims.

"That's okay," I giggle. "Yes, we need to get all of that done. I know which dress I'm going to wear-"

"You do? Which one?" Mia interrupts me.

"You will see," I wink. "I'm not going to put the dress on until it's time to get ready for the ceremony. Kate did a wonderful job picking out dresses and one is definitely the perfect one for me."

"I think I know which one it is," Kate whispers.

"What if it needs alterations? There won't be any time," Mia whines.

"I'm not concerned," I say. "I may not have been there to try on the gowns ahead of time, but I'm sure Kate's mom took care of any major alterations that might be needed."

"If anything minor is needed, I am pretty good with a needle and thread, Ana," Gail chimes in.

"Perfect, crisis solved," I smile at Gail once again grateful to have her here.

_I can't wait to see you –C_

_I missed you last night –A_

_Me too, the bed was so empty –C_

_It won't be tonight –A_

_You're killing me baby –C_

Everyone looks at me as I giggle at my text exchange with Christian, but they quickly return to their wedding plan discussions. Personally, I could care less about all the plans – I want nothing more than to marry Christian this afternoon. I am so glad we decided to go with a small wedding; I don't know how I would handle walking down the aisle with hundreds of people staring at me.

"Gail, can I see you for a minute?" I say quietly.

"Of course," Gail replies quickly.

"Can you help me with something?" I ask once we step outside.

"Anything," she assures me.

"I have a gift for Christian upstairs that I would like to get to him but I know I can't just walk over there. Do you think you could get Taylor or Sawyer to help?" I ask.

"I will call Taylor now and arrange for it," she answers.

"Thank you," I smile.

"Thank you for including me in this special event Ana, you have no idea how much you have changed Escala and Christian in such a short time. He went from someone you walked on egg shells around constantly to now someone who actually laughs and smiles, his eyes light up whenever he sees you; it's as if you finally gave him a reason to live. Thank you Ana," Gail hugs me tightly.

A couple of hours later, we all showered and in robes sitting in the private hair salon in our villa getting completely made over by the salon staff that Christian arranged to come to us today. Everyone is having their hair, nails and make up done in preparation for the ceremony that is quickly approaching. I'm pleasantly surprised that as the time gets closer, I find myself perfectly content and not a bit nervous. I'm looking forward to seeing Christian, to exchanging our vows and to beginning the next phase of our life together.

"Ana, Taylor just informed me that the gift was delivered to Christian" Gail whispers as we make our way from the salon to the living room where a light lunch has been delivered.

"Thanks for your help!" I squeeze her hand.

"Ana….we should probably get you dressed," Kate announces as we all finish our sandwiches that Christian must have arranged to have delivered to our villa when we were in the salon.

"Oh! Yeah! I'll help!" Mia exclaims.

"Mia, if you don't mind I think this is something that Kate and I can handle," I try to say nicely…the last thing I want is an audience as I get changed knowing that I will need help getting into the dress and likely the corset style bra.

"Okay," Mia pouts.

"Mia, I'm sure Gail and I will need your help picking out jewelry and shoes," Grace points out.

"I have the perfect pair of shoes in mind for your dress Gail…you don't mind a high heel right?" Mia rambles as they all walk out towards one of the bedrooms.

"Thank you for saving me from her!" Kate laughs.

"You two are more alike than you realize," I giggle.

"Let's get you dressed for your wedding," Kate says as we walk into the master bedroom where the two gowns are hanging in the large walk in closet.

"What's this?" I ask, spotting a small box on the bed.

"Oh, Gail mentioned something about Christian having a gift delivered for you. This must be it," she smiles before gathering the bags of clothes, shoes and the gown.

"Oh my! Kate!" I gasp opening the box.

Inside the perfectly wrapped box is a diamond necklace and matching tear drop diamond earrings. My breath is immediately taken away in awe, the jewelry is so beautiful.

"It's just as he described," she whispers.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"We spoke when you were in New York; he wanted to have a piece designed that would coordinate well with your dress. I didn't tell him anything specific about the dress itself but I spoke with the jeweler he used and sent them just the sketches of the two gowns. They sent me a sketch that looks exactly like this, which would compliment either dress perfectly," she explains.

"How on earth did he have enough time to have two pieces of jewelry custom designed?" I wonder.

"Ana…you need to learn that money talks," she giggles.

"Christian told me the same thing the other day," I laugh.

"I was thinking this is the dress you had in mind," she says unzipping one of the bags.

"Yes, that is the one I want," I confirm.

"These are the undergarments that my mom picked out for this dress," Kate hands me a beautiful white corset style bra with a matching bikini style panties.

"Perfect, I'm going to bathroom to slip on the panties, garter and thigh highs. I will probably need help with the bra though…I don't think I'm going to be able to clasp all those by myself," I laugh walking into the bathroom.

I take a deep breath as I look into the mirror; this is the only part of today that makes me a little uneasy. There is no way that to get around this, Kate will see the scars on my back. She knows they are there already and since she was there when Carrick decided to be an ass she knows most of the story as to what happened. But still, I know the site of them will shock her. I take a large gulp of my wine, take a deep breath and begin to get changed. Holding the bra in front of me to cover my breasts, I slowly open the door and ask Kate for assistance. I hear her gasp quietly as I turn around and she takes in the scars on my back. To her credit though, her hands quickly find the bra clasps and she begins closing the clasps thus covering my scars.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"Let's get you into this dress," Kate quickly turns to grab the dress.

A few minutes later, I stand before the full length mirror in the beautiful gown that Kate's mom designed which fits me perfectly. The dress has a sweetheart neckline, with cap sleeves which sit just at the edge of my shoulders and flows just to the floor. There is a small train on the dress, but nothing that is so long I can't walk. The feature I love the most about the dress is the simplicity; with small touches here and there the dress is simple yet elegant. There is a small strip of lace around the neckline and again on the hem of the dress.

"You look beautiful Ana," Kate chokes back a sob.

"Your mom did a wonderful job on this dress, it fits perfectly. You were right to choose this dress for me, I can't imagine wearing anything else," I gush.

Kate puts on the necklace and earrings that Christian apparently had designed specifically for me. We find a simple pair of white shoes with a small heel that complement the dress perfectly.

"My mom has sent this as your something borrowed," Kate hands me a diamond tiara that is just perfect, not too large and not something that is going to stand out drastically.

"Oh Kate! It's perfect!" I exclaim hugging her as she puts the tiara on me.

"Let's go show you off to everyone," Kate quickly wipes a tear from her cheek as she leads me out of the room.

"ANA!" Mia exclaims. "You look beautiful!"

"Oh my! Ana….you're breathtaking!" Grace cries.

"Perfection….absolutely perfection Ana," Gail smiles.

"You all look so beautiful," I say taking each of them in as they are now fully dressed in the dresses they picked for the ceremony.

"I have something for you," Gail whispers ushering me into the dining room a few minutes later.

"When my great grandmother was married, she had no money for a ceremony and everything she used that day was something she either borrowed or had around the house. Her sister picked her a small bouquet of wildflowers from the field near their house, but upon handing it to her they realized they had nothing to tie it with. Her sister took cut a piece of small blue ribbon from her bag and they tied that around the flowers. Ever since then, it has been tradition for the women in my family to have a blue ribbon tied around their bouquet to remind them that no matter what happens your family will always be there for you," Gail explains handing me a blue silk ribbon. "I consider you a part of my family Ana, I would be honored if you would use this with your bouquet."

"Oh Gail….you're going to make me cry," I sob desperately trying to hold back my tears. "Thank you so much; of course I will tie it to my flowers. It's a wonderful tradition, something I hope to be able to hand down to my children one day."

"Thank you Ana," Gail hugs me gently before we join everyone else back in the main room.

"Ana, I have something old for you," Grace announces as we walk into the room. "This was given to me by my mother on the day I married Carrick and today I give it to you on the day you marry my son."

Grace clasps a small gold chain with two intertwined hearts to my ankle. It's small and simple, but absolutely perfect. I can barely tell it's there but knowing that this is something that she wore on her wedding day makes me smile. Although I was concerned that I wouldn't have any traditions to carry onto my children since my mother told me nothing of her wedding to my father, I realize now that I couldn't be more wrong. Everyone in this room with me is my family; each are providing me with memories to share with my children one day.

"Thank you all for being here with me this morning; it truly means so much to both me and Christian that you are here with us," I gush.

"Speaking of Christian…" Kate smiles. "It's about time to go get your married!"

"Ana, you look….beautiful," Taylor greets us moments later as we walk out of the villa.

"Thank you Taylor, you look quite dashing yourself," I say.

The men are all wearing black suits with silver ties which compliments Kate's silver dress perfectly. Mia, Grace and Gail walk ahead of us with Sawyer to the ceremony site while Kate, Taylor and I take our time enjoying the lovely gardens that surround the hotel before we finally make our way to the balcony where are ceremony is going to take place.

"Are you ready?" Kate whispers.

"Yes," I say confidently.

"I'll see you up there," Kate smiles as the wedding planner gestures for her to walk through the doors.

"Thank you for doing this Taylor," I kiss him lightly on the cheek just as the doors are opened.

Taylor squeezes my hand tightly, smiling at me as we step over the threshold onto the beautiful balcony which overlooks the water. Everyone stands as we make our way down the aisle where I find Christian beaming as he waits for me with Elliot and Kate. Taylor shakes Christian's hand before placing my hand in his, stepping aside as Christian leads me to the wedding officiant. Christian and I decided not to write our own vows; I don't think I could have handled having to remember my own vows with everything else going on today. I would much rather just have someone tell me what to say. As the officiant stands before us, welcoming our guests and reading a short sermon about marriage I take this opportunity to look around the balcony fully taking in the beauty of what this place has to offer. In the corner of the balcony, not far from the ceremony, almost blending in with the wedding staff is someone I truly hoped I would see here but honestly did not think I would. I don't believe Christian or any of the guests have realized that we have someone unexpected at the ceremony right now; hopefully they continue not to notice until after the ceremony.

"Do you Anastasia Steele, take Christian as your lawfully wedding husband to have and to hold, in sickness and in health until death do you part?" the officiant asks.

"I do," I say confidently, smiling at Christian.

"Do you Christian Grey, take Anastasia as your lawfully wedding wife to have and to hold, in sickness and in health until death do you part?" The officiant repeats.

"I do," Christian replies.

"By the powers vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride," He says.

Christian's arm immediately wrap around my waist, pulling m close to him as his lips crush against mine. I can feel everything in this kiss, every emotion that is going through the both of us right now is there. Just before the kiss deepens and becomes too intimate, Christian gently pulls away and smiles down at me.


	47. Chapter 47

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 47 APOV:**

"Ladies and Gentleman, may I introduce for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Christian Grey!" the wedding officiant announces.

We walk the short distance to our guests, each of them embracing and congratulating us. Christian's hands never leave me; his hand grasps mine tightly even as our guests compete for our attention. With a slight nod to the wedding coordinator, our guests are ushered to a small room off the balcony for cocktails while we get ready to have our pictures taken. As needed some of our guests will be pulled out for additional pictures and eventually we will have a large group photo with everyone. I ask the coordinator for a few minutes before the pictures start, seeing as I need to speak to Christian.

"I love you so much Ana," Christians holds me tight against him, whispering in my ear.

"Remember how much you love me and how much I love you…don't get mad," I take a deep breath.

"I couldn't possibly get mad at you on our wedding day…what is it?" Christian pulls back slightly so he can look me in the eye.

"Your dad is here," I whisper and gesture to the corner of the balcony where Carrick has finally stepped out of the shadows.

"What?!" Christian exclaims loudly. "Ana….I…..Fuck!"

"Christian…baby…."I hold his face firmly, forcing him to look at me. "As much as what your dad said hurt me and I know hurt you, there was no way I was going to let him miss your wedding day. You have no idea what I would give to have my father here with us today, to witness his daughter getting married. I could not take that from you or from your dad."

"Christian…Ana…Congratulations," Carrick joins us after a few moments. "I am truly happy for the both of you."

"Sure," Christian mumbles.

"Son, I deeply regret the things I said to you and Ana both that night. I know that neither of you have forgotten or forgiven me for my awful behavior. I was completely out of line; I was thinking as a lawyer and not as father. I should have trusted not only you but Ana as well; she has never given any of us any reason to suspect that she had ulterior motivates. I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn forgiveness from you both. I am deeply sorry for my behavior and for my words," Carrick says.

"How did you find out about the wedding?" Christian asks.

"You beautiful new wife here," Carrick smiles kindly at me, "emailed me a couple of days ago inviting me. Ana, I know I said it to you in email and I will say it again now, you are a much bigger person than I am…I don't know that if I were your shoes that I would have extended the olive branch. I will forever be grateful to you for allowing me to be here today. Christian, if you don't want me here…say the word and I will return to my room but I would very much like to stay and help you celebrate your big day."

"Well…since you're here already you might as well stay," Christian grumbles. "You can join the others for cocktails while we get our pictures taken."

"Of course, thank you both," Carrick kisses me on the cheek and shakes Christian's hand before walking away.

"Are you mad?" I pull him closer to me, hugging him tightly as the tension slowly leaves his body.

"Mad? Surprised, shocked…but I don't think mad is the right word," Christian sighs. "I'm still mad as hell at him and honestly am surprised that you could just forget what he said so quickly-"

"Christian, make no mistake – I did not forget what he said and what he accused me of doing that night," I interrupt. "But, family is family….he needed to be here. I didn't want you to look back on the happiest day of our lives and regret him not being here."

"God, I love you so much Ana," Christian kisses me deeply just as our wedding coordinator clears her throat to remind of us of the photographer who is waiting for us.

What feels like hours later, our pictures are finally complete. We took individual pictures, pictures as a couple and pictures with each of our guests before a large group picture is taken with the fountain in the background. I finally meet Roz and her wife Gwen as well as Christian's psychologist, Dr. Flynn who Christian has been seeing for several years now. It was nice to finally put names with faces especially knowing how important both Roz and Dr. Flynn are to Christian. The reception flies by quickly, since the wedding is small we are able to spend time with all of our guests without feeling like we missed someone. The food, music and décor are much like everything else tonight-perfect. Andrea did an absolutely amazing job coordinating with the Bellagio to keep the ceremony simple but elegant. After spending time with our guests and eating dinner, we spend some time on the dance floor before deciding to retire for the night. It's no surprise that Elliot, Kate and Mia all decide to hit the Lily Bar and Lounge at the Bellagio rather than returning to the villa with everyone else. Everyone had their own opinion about Carrick being there: Elliot and Grace were both very thankful, Kate thought I was crazy for inviting him and should have let him miss everything, Gail didn't say so but I could tell by the look in her eyes she approved but most of all I know Christian was glad his father was here even if he wasn't ready to admit it yet.

"I want to thank all of you for joining us in celebrating our marriage today. Ana and I are truly blessed to have such wonderful friends and family," Christian says as we prepare to leave the reception and head back to our villa. "Our jet will leave tomorrow morning at 10, if you all can be ready by 9:30 we can drive to the airport together. The trip to Seattle is short but it is very important that we leave at 10 as both Ana and I have afternoon appointments that we need to be in Seattle for."

Christian and I walk through the gardens hand in hand, with security following discretely behind us, back to our villa. Today couldn't have turned out any better, it was exactly what I wanted and hoped for…small, elegant and beautiful.

"You look so beautiful today baby….this dress is perfect just like you are," Christian kisses me deeply as we make our way to the master bedroom.

"Today was perfect…I cannot thank you enough for all of this, it was truly amazing," I sigh.

"As much as I love this dress on you, I love what's under it more," Christian slowly unzips my gown.

We make love several times that night, before finally falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms. Although the last few days have been a whirlwind, I would not have changed any part of it. I am relieved that Christian wasn't too upset about Carrick showing up today; I know deep down that he would regret not having him there one day so I had to do something. I know it's still going to take some time and likely several discussions before Christian and Carrick can move past what happened and probably even more time for me to fully forgive him for what he accused me of but the bottom line is that as of today we are all family which means we can't avoid each other forever. I had gone back and forth about sending the email to Carrick and more importantly if I did send an email what would I say? Ultimately I decided honesty was the best policy; I told Carrick how hurtful his words were to me and tried to reiterate to him that I could care less about his son's money, that it has nothing to do with why I fell in love with Christian in the first place. I let him know that I was still mad and hurt by his words but that I wanted to put all that aside at least for one day and have him at our wedding. He never responded to the email which led me to assume that he wasn't going to come. I was pleasantly surprised and somewhat relieved to see that I was wrong. I had thought things might be awkward with him at the wedding but once again I was wrong. Everyone was a little uneasy but it wasn't awkward or unsettling having him there.

"Are you ready to head back to Seattle?" Christian asks as we pack the last of our clothes up the next morning.

"As wonderful as the last few days have been, I think I'm ready to get back," I admit. "I have my interview this afternoon and then graduation tomorrow to get ready for."

"I'm so proud that you are able to graduate with your class tomorrow, I know how important that was to you," Christian kisses me while pulling me close to him.

"I couldn't have done it without you," I sigh. "If you hadn't spoken to the university and arranged for my professors to let me complete the classes via home study I never would be graduating tomorrow."

"I will do anything for you," he promises.

The flight back to Seattle is quick but just enough time for everyone to share pictures they took from our wedding. We will have the professional pictures sent to us in the next few days so it was nice to see some of the pictures that Grace and Gail were able to take during the ceremony. Christian reminds everyone that we still plan to keep our marriage a secret until the Coping Together Gala in two weeks. It's going to be tough keeping the secret but we both agree that we want some quiet time before the press learns of our marriage which we know will catch everyone off guard. Kate jokes that everyone is going to assume that I'm pregnant and that is the reason for the hushed secret wedding. We all laugh at the likelihood of this assumption, though I can't gage Christian's true reaction. We haven't talked about children yet, it's probably something we need to discuss at some point. I certainly don't want children right now, I would rather wait until my career is established before we take on that adventure. I suppose at some point Christian and I will need to talk about how he feels about having children and whether this is even something he wants.

"Are you ready for your interview?" Christian asks as we get settled back in Escala.

"I think so," I answer. "I have everything I need including several questions prepared."

"Where is the interview at again?" Christian asks.

"Nice try," I smirk. "I will tell you later tonight but I'm not giving you a chance to pull any strings there."

"I really wish you would consider Grey Publishing," Christian says. "You would be a wonderful addition to the team."

"I'm sure I would," I smile. "Can you imagine how that would look? The wife of the owner suddenly lands a job there? People would assume I was only given the job because I'm your wife and they would be right. I want to have some experience under my belt first, maybe in a year or two I will apply for a job there."

"I don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks," Christian mumbles.

"I know you don't baby," I kiss him, sitting on his lap. "But I do. I want to be able to do this myself; it's important to me that I get a job on my own…because I deserve the job not because of my last name or because my husband owns the company."

"I suppose," he sighs.

"I need to get going, I don't want to be late," I kiss him goodbye.

"Be sure Sawyer stays with you," he warns.

"I know," I smile before heading to the foyer where Sawyer is waiting for me.

After a short ride, I am waiting outside of a private office on the third floor of Seattle Grace Hospital. After the accident, having spent way too much time here, I didn't think I would ever want to come back – yet here I sit. I found a job opening on the internet for a part time editor/copy writer for various publications that the hospital puts out regularly. Although my hope was to work at a publishing company, after sending out dozens of resumes and not receiving any calls back I realized that I needed to obtain some sort of experience before a publishing company would likely consider me. When I saw this job posting, I initially rejected the idea of applying – I had no desire to write copy for a hospital or edit health articles. The more I thought about it over the next couple of days, the more I realized this could be a good opportunity to get my feet wet and gain the experience I need. On a whim I submitted my resume and much to my surprise the very next day I received a call inviting me in for an interview.

"Ms. Steele?" a woman asks stepping out of the office across from me.

"Yes, please call me Ana," I reply, shaking her hand.

"My name is Mary, I am the Supervisor of the hospital's publication department. Please come in," she leads me into a moderately sized office.

"Thank you for taking the time to meet with me today," I say.

"This is a newly created position that we are hiring for; it is a part time position although it may become full time in the future depending on the work load. Basically, the position is responsible for editing various publications both digital and print formats as well as occasionally providing copy for brochures or our website. We have two other editors that you will work closely with, splitting the work load as needed to insure that everything is edited and ready for publications by the deadlines provided," she explains. "Tell me about your editing experience."

"I've edited several articles for our college newspaper on various topics. While in high school I was on the year book committee and provided copy for several different areas that were used in the final publication," I explain.

"I reviewed the writing samples you provided with your application and I have to say I was surprised to at your ability given your lack of experience," she compliments.

"Thank you," I reply.

We talk for several additional minutes about the position, the work environment and the expectations of the position. The more we talk the more I'm surprised that I find myself truly interested in the position and the work she is describing. It may not have been my initial dream job, but I find myself looking forward to editing articles and seeing something I worked on in print or on the hospital's website.

"Well, Ana….I am pleased to be able to offer you the position of part time editor/copy writer with the hospital pending your reference checks and clearances," she extends her hand.

"Thank you so much! I am looking forward to working with you," I shake her hand excitedly.

"Assuming everything comes back in time, we can plan for you to start a week from Monday if that works for you?" she asks.

"That sounds perfect," I agree.

"Wonderful, expect an email from the hospital's HR department regarding the next step and documentation that will be needed from you," she says walking me out.

"Thank you again," I reply.

"So? How did it go?" Christian asks the moment I walk into Escala.

"I got a job!" I exclaim.

"I'm so happy for you!" he hugs me tightly, twirling me around the room. "Let's grab some wine and then you can tell me about the job."

"Congratulations," Christian hands me a glass of crisp white wine and we both clink our glasses before taking a sip.

"I am the new part time editor/copy writer at Seattle Grace Hospital," I announce.

"The hospital? Really….I can't say I was expecting that," Christian says clearly surprised.

"I know," I smile. "Neither was I really. I applied to several publishing houses but my application was overlooked which I assume is because I have no real experience. Even the so called entry level jobs wanted some type of experience which I just don't have besides the little bit of editing I did for the school newspaper on occasion. The hospital is expanding their publication department and is looking for someone part time for now but it may move to full time later. I would have preferred something full time but I'm grateful to at least get my foot in the door somewhere."

"The hospital is a great place to work at least according to my mom and she has been there for more than twenty years now," Christian explains. "I've received several of their publications since I've donated quite a bit of money over the years and the material they put it out is top notch. I think this will give you the experience that you are looking for."

"I hope so," I agree. "I will be starting a week from Monday, working mostly in the mornings Monday through Friday. She said I would likely average about 15 to 20 hours per week but occasionally it could be more or less depending on the work load."

"I'm very happy for you Ana," Christian says.

"Me too," I smile. "I'm looking forward to working again."

"You know at any time if you don't want to work you don't have to right?" Christian points out.

"I know I don't have to," I sigh. "I'm not going to live off of your money. For one, I don't feel right spending your money especially when I'm not contributing financially. For another, I need something to do with my time. I can't just sit here all day and not do anything."

"You could always volunteer if you wanted something to do," Christian suggests.

"Hmmmmmmmm," I pause thinking about the possibilities. "That's actually not a bad idea. If I'm only working in the morning, that still leaves the bulk of the day open. Maybe I can find a place to volunteer at…"

"You should talk to my mom," Christian says. "The hospital is always looking for volunteers either on the floors with the patients or on different fund raising committees that they have."

"I just might do that," I say happily. "Once I get settled at my new job though."

"Are you ready for graduation tomorrow? Is there anything you need?" he asks.

"I don't think so. My cap and gown were delivered while we were in New York so there's nothing really for me to do. It's not like I'm giving a speech or anything; there's nothing to prepare for. You're the only person who is really going to be there to see me graduate anyway," I answer.

"Regardless of who is there it's an amazing accomplishment given everything you have been through. You should be proud of yourself," Christian says.

"Let's grab some dinner, I'm hungry," I change the subject, not wanting to dwell on the fact that I really won't have anyone at graduation tomorrow.

"I see you left your rings on today for the interview," Christian says as we sit down for dinner.

"Crap! I didn't even notice! I don't think anyone saw them," I quickly apologize.

"I'm not worried if someone did," he smiles. "I like seeing the rings on you where they belong."

"I'll have to take them off tomorrow for graduation though," I point out. "There's going to be photographers there from not only the school paper but I'm sure local papers."

"Probably," Christian says sadly.

"Just think though, in two weeks they will never have to leave my finger," I remind him.

"Good point Mrs. Grey," Christian kisses me.

"Mrs. Grey….that has a very nice ring to it," I giggle.

Graduation day arrives quickly the next morning; the weather is perfect which is a positive considering the ceremony is scheduled to be outside. I can't imagine the university squeezing everyone into the gym if it rained outside which is always a strong possibility in Seattle. Today is a bitter sweet day; I'm beyond thrilled to finally be graduating from college however I'm sad that my dad couldn't be here. He always told me when I was little that I could do whatever I wanted in life but at the same time he always stressed how important education was. My dad never had the chance to go to college; he joined the military right out of high school and after leaving the military he took a job driving trucks to make a living. I don't know that I believe in Heaven but I would like to think that my dad is watching down on me today.

We arrive to campus about an hour before the ceremony is about to start as Christian needs to meet with the president and a few other key people before the ceremony begins. He complained the entire way to campus how much he hates things like this and doesn't understand why he needs recognition when all he did was right a check. He repeatedly said in the future he is going to insist that donations are made anonymously or under the condition that no public recognition is provided. I couldn't help but giggle at all his whining over this honor; I tried telling him several times that he should be proud that he is able to give back to the community like this but that just made him complain more.

"Ladies and Gentleman, thank you for joining us on this beautiful day to celebrate the hard work of our graduating class. As I look out amongst these students, I see future doctors, lawyers, CEOs, accountants, musicians, educators, child care staff and human services providers. I see strong professionals who are determined to accomplish anything they set their minds too…" The president of our school begins his long speech.

"Thank you President Smith," Kate takes the podium to begin her valedictorian speech. "Over the last four years we have shared so much together. We have cried, cheered, celebrated and struggled together. We have worked harder than we ever thought was possible to achieve what we once thought was only a dream. We have met people that will have forever impacted our lives, we have learned just as much from each other as we have learned from our professors. We have learned how truly strong people can be and how much they can overcome when given the opportunity. We have learned how selfless people can be, how some people can set aside everything to help someone else out. These are the lessons I hope each of you will take with you today."

I quickly wipe the tears from the corner of my eyes as Kate finishes her speech. Her eyes were on me the entire time; I couldn't help but think she was referring to me during at least a portion of her speech. Kate has truly been my one constant over the last four years, the one person who I could count on for anything even when I was afraid to ask for help. She never once asked me about my past, to this day she hasn't asked me anything about what she heard at Grace and Carrick's house that night. She never asked me why I didn't like to be touched or about the scars that I know she saw when we went to the club that night. Kate has done more for me in the last four years than I think she will ever know.

"Thank you Ms. Kavanaugh," Christian says taking the podium for his speech next. "I was asked to give a small speech and to hand out diplomas today as a thank you for my donation to several different programs on campus. My public relations department tells me this is an honor, my family tells me this is a wonderful thing and my girlfriend tells me that I should be proud that I am able to give back to the community. Honestly, I prefer to not receive the recognition for doing something as simple as writing a check to fund programs that will better the lives of those less fortunate. Many of the programs I support here are geared at helping third world countries grow food, enable them to have clean water or finding ways to bring medical treatments to those in need. It is not I who deserves recognition for simply writing a check; it is you who deserve the recognition. You are the ones on the forefront, making these advances to better the lives of others. It is you who deserve the attention, the recognition and the honor for what you have done and for what you are about to do as you leave here today college graduates. You have an opportunity when you leave here today to do what you want, to do what you have dreamed all of your lives of doing. When you living your dream, I ask you to take a moment and think of those who are not able to live their dreams. Think of those who are addicted to drugs, who are living in poverty, who are homeless, who are working three jobs just to put food on their table, to those who are struggling with their own demons and to those are too young or too afraid to ask for help. When you can, while living your dream, look for opportunities to help those who are less fortunate. You may not be able to write a check, but there are plenty of other ways to help. Volunteer your time, raise awareness for various causes…find a way to help; there is always a way. As you go forward today, remember where you have come from and remember how you got here today."

Christian's speech was just as moving as Kate's was; I heard many students commenting about how honest his speech was. I know that as of this morning he had no speech prepared and had no idea what he was going to say, at least that's what he told me. Somehow I knew that once he stepped up there he would find exactly what he wanted to say. His speech reinforced with me his idea of volunteering until I find a full time job, once I get comfortable in my new position at the hospital I'm going to speak with Grace and see about volunteering at the hospital in some capacity.

"Congratulations Mrs. Grey," Christian whispers in my ear as he kisses me on cheek and hands me my diploma.

"Thank you Mr. Grey," I whisper before walking off the stage.

Several hours later the ceremony finally concludes, all diplomas have been handed out and the president of the university congratulates us one final time before announcing that we are all finally college graduates. I wait near the side of the stage for Christian at the spot we previously agreed to meet.

"Congratulations Ana!" Mia screams rushing up to me, hugging me quickly.

"Mia! What are you doing here?" I ask surprised.

"Watching my sister graduate from college of course," she smiles as she says sister very quietly.

"Congratulations dear," Grace hugs me quickly.

"You should be very proud Ana," Carrick kisses me gently on the cheek.

"I wasn't expecting to see you guys here today," I gush.

"We wouldn't have missed it," Grace assures me.

"Congratulations baby," Christian pulls me against him.

"Did you know they were coming?" I ask as everyone talks about the speeches.

"Of course, they all wanted to see you graduate," he assures me.

"Congratulations Ana! Sorry I'm late I had to wait forever for Kate to finish talking to everyone," Elliot and Kate join us.

"It means so much to me that you are all here," I say, desperately trying to hold back the tears.

"You're family now Ana, of course we would be here," Mia says.


	48. Chapter 48

_Author's Note: This chapter is a little shorter than usual, but I wanted to get it out. Thank you all for your continued support, encouragement and reviews. When I started this story never did I think I would have more than 700 reviews or that the story would have hit 48 chapters! I am truly thankful for everyone who reads and reviews this story!_

_All characters belong to E.L. James._

**Chpt. 48 APOV:**

After the world wind week, Christian and I enjoyed a nice, relaxing, drama free day on Sunday. We slept in, which is rare for Christian I've learned, snuggled on the couch in the great room watching movies and just enjoyed time together. Christian rarely checked his email and made no work related calls which surprised me. Gail and Taylor both had the day off, for the first time in a while it truly felt like Christian and I were the only ones in the apartment even though I know that Sawyer was in the staff apartment he remained there the entire day. I tried a new recipe for dinner, making a vegetable lasagna which Christian declared was his second favorite dish which didn't surprise me because I know he loves macaroni and cheese.

"What are your plans this week?" Christian asks as we get ready for bed.

"Mia, Kate and I are going shopping for the Coping Together Gala on Wednesday," I explain.

"That should be fun," Christian jokes.

"I tried to get out of it but they insisted I had to go," I whine.

"Hopefully it won't be too painful," he laughs. "I have to warn you though Mia can shop for hours."

"I figured as much," I sigh. "She is just like Kate in so many ways. What about you? What is your week like?"

"Meetings, conference calls and more meetings I'm sure," he explains. "I know I have a couple late meetings scheduled this week so there will probably be a few nights I won't be home in time for dinner. Don't wait to eat for me, Gail knows to leave my dish in the fridge and I will just heat it up when I get home."

"I'll probably ask Gail to join me for dinner then, I hate eating alone," I say.

"Hopefully the meetings won't run too late," Christian sighs.

"It's not a problem Christian, really," I assure him. "I know your job is demanding and that there will be nights when you work late and other times when you are gone for days traveling."

"I love you so much," Christian kisses me deeply.

"I love you too baby," I reply in between kisses.

The next few days pass by slowly, as Christian said he came home pretty late and has missed dinner each day this week. As much as I wish Christian was working so late, I know the only reason his company is as successful as it is today is because of the long hours he puts in every day. Gail has dinner with me each night, Sawyer even joined on one night after we twisted his arm hard enough to make him realize that he can monitor the security of our apartment even when sitting at the table for dinner. I think he just felt weird because he was technically working but since Gail and I were both still in Escala there wasn't much that was likely to happen.

"Have fun today shopping," Christian says before kissing me goodbye the next morning.

"UGH don't remind me," I moan.

"Maybe it won't be as bad as you're thinking," he says hopefully.

"Have you ever been shopping with your sister?" I ask.

"Good point," he laughs. "At least try to have fun."

"Are you ready to go shopping?!" Mia screams as she walks into the great room a few hours later.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I try to smile.

"Oh come on Ana….it's going to be fun!" Kate exclaims.

"You ready for a day of shopping Sawyer?" Mia asks.

"Yes ma'am," Sawyer answers.

"Let's go!" Mia says happily.

We all pile into the SUV and Sawyer drives the short distance to the shops the Mia had insisted we go today. I can tell as soon as we pull up that these are the types of stores that only carry the finest things which translates into very large price tags. As we enter the first shop and begin to look at dresses, I quickly realize how right the first impression was. Every gown we look at costs at least $3,000 which doesn't includes shoes and jewelry. Of course Kate and Mia don't bat an eye at the cost; I don't think either of them even looked at the price tag before they ran to try dresses on. Even though it's Christian's money I'm using to buy the dress I just don't see the point in spending such a large amount of money on a dress I'm only going to wear for a few hours.

"Have you found something yet?" Mia asks coming out of the dress room with yet another dress that she has tried on.

"Not yet," I sigh.

"Stop thinking about how much it costs," Kate whispers.

"Kate, seriously $5495 for a dress I'm going to wear for a few hours?" I hiss.

"True, but every time someone searches for news about you the first picture that pops up is going to be of you in whatever dress you wear to the gala because that's when you are announcing your marriage," Kate points out.

"I suppose you're right," I sigh.

"Ana! I found the perfect dress for you!" Mia bounces towards us.

"Go try it on!" Kate ushers me into the dressing room before I've even had a chance to look at the dress.

I sigh as I begin to get undressed realizing Kate was right, since Christian is in the public eye it's likely we're going to be pictured in magazines, newspapers and even on the internet once word spreads about our marriage. Until Kate mentioned it, I had forgotten that we are supposed to meet with a reporter for a private interview before the Gala in exchange for their assistance with getting my journal back. As I zipper the back of the dress up I can't help but gasp at my reflection in the full length mirror. Mia certainly does have amazing taste when it comes to clothes; the dress she picked out is absolutely perfect. The gown is a midnight blue color with silver accents along the sweetheart neckline and on the hem of the dress. The dress itself falls just to my feet in the front but sweeps the floor in the back providing an added elegant touch. The back of the dress comes just to the middle of my back, it's just high enough to cover my scars.

"Ana! You look so pretty!" Kate gushes.

"That's it! You look perfect! You have to get this dress Ana!" Mia exclaims.

"I think you're right Mia," I giggle. "This is the dress."

"We have all found our dresses!" Mia announces happily.

"We should grab some lunch," Kate suggests.

"Why don't you guys talk to Sawyer about lunch while I change?" I suggest.

After quickly changing out of the gown and back into my jeans and t shirt, I pay for the dress and join Saywer, Mia and Kate near the entrance to the store. I tried not to look shocked when the sales woman told me the total cost of the dress but I'm sure the surprise was evident. I don't know that I will ever get used to spending this large amount of money on things. Christian seems to have no problem spending money, but I don't know that I will ever become that comfortable with it. Maybe it's because I struggled for so long and had to watch literally every penny I spent…

"Ana? Are you ready?" Kate pulls me from my thoughts.

"All set," I say.

"All of the purchases will be delivered later today," Sawyer announces.

"Perfect, we don't have to carry the bags around!" Mia exclaims.

"Thank you," I say.

"There's a small bistro a few stores down we thought we could go to. They have tables on the patio we could sit outside and eat at," Kate suggests.

"Sounds good," I reply.

As we walk the short distance to the bistro I can't shake the feeling that someone is watching us or rather watching me. I keep glancing behind me but I don't see anyone that stands out; Sawyer catches my uneasiness but I shake my head to indicate it's probably nothing. We manage to get two tables next to each other at the bistro as Sawyer insisted on sitting apart from us so he could keep a better eye on things he says but I can't help but think it's because he is getting tired of hearing all the girl talk. Mia and Kate have been talking nonstop the entire time about shoes, make up and jewelry they are planning on wearing to the gala.

"We should spend the morning at the spa before the gala!" Mia suggests as our food arrives.

"Oh that was so much fun when we did it for Ana's wedding!" Kate agrees.

"We just need to find a new salon to try," Mia points out.

"Why? Where did you go before?" I ask.

"We always went to one of Elena's salons," Mia answers.

"Oh," I say.

"I heard they closed all of her salons," Kate says.

"They still haven't found her?" Mia asks.

"Not yet," I answer. "They have the man who was driving the car, he is awaiting trial was the last thing I heard."

"I don't get how the police can't find her," Mia sighs.

"She has money, and money can buy you anything," Kate points out.

"Mia, maybe your mom could recommend another salon?" I change the subject not wanting to think about Elena right now especially when I can't help the feeling that we're being watched.

"I'm sure she can," Mia smiles.

The rest of lunch is spent talking about the gala, I'm surprised to learn how involved Mia has been in the planning process. Turns out her and Grace have been planning this gala basically since last year's was over; between seeking donors and meeting with new vendors this has been a long process. Mia proudly discusses everything that has been done so far for the gala and the few things that still need to be taken care of over the next ten or so days. Mia's entire face lights up when she talks about the gala, you can see how proud she is that everything is coming together.

"Have you thought about going into event planning Mia?" I ask.

"No," she pauses as if to think about it. "That's not a bad idea though…I've always loved helping mom plan the fundraising events."

"I thought you just finished culinary school?" Kate asks.

"I did," Mia sighs. "But I don't know that I want to work in a hot sweaty kitchen every day. I enjoy cooking but now that I've been working in a real restaurant it's not quite what I thought it would be. I have really liked planning the gala with my mom, especially over the last few weeks when it's getting closer to the gala and everything is falling into place. It's something to think about…"

"Should we head back to Escala?" I ask, hoping our day of shopping is over.

"We should go back and watch a chick flick!" Mia exclaims.

"Sounds good to me, I have dinner plans with Elliot tonight but not until later," Kate agrees.

"Are you ladies ready?" Sawyer asks as we gather our purses.

"We're going to go back to Escala," I inform him.

As we start walking back to the SUV, I still feel as if someone is watching or following us. I make it a point to walk closely to Sawyer even though I can't see anything that looks suspicious.

"Oh NO!" Mia screams as we reach the SUV.

The black SUV is covered in white paint and the tires have been slashed; Sawyer quickly calls Taylor and informs him of the situation. Taylor immediately leaves GEH and heads to the parking lot where we are all standing just staring at the SUV. Luckily we weren't far from GEH so Taylor arrives pretty quickly to access the situation.

"Who would do this?" Kate wonders.

"We will find out," Sawyer vows.

"Let's get back to Escala, Sawyer arrange for someone to tow this thing out of here," Taylor instructs.

"I can't believe someone did that in the middle of the day!" Mia exclaims.

"Hopefully there were cameras in the lot, so we can find out who did it," I think aloud.

"You don't think it could have been Elaina do you?" Kate asks.

"I wouldn't think she would be stupid enough to stay in the area but I suppose anything is possible," I answer.

_I'll meet you at Escala –C_

_You don't have to leave work, we're fine –A_

_I will be there in a few minutes –C_

Taylor is extra cautious in driving us back to Escala, I realize he has chosen to take a different route which is longer than the one we drove on the way to the shopping center. I see him and Sawyer frequently check the rear and side mirrors paying close attention whenever our vehicle comes to a stop. Mia and Kate are quiet, it seems we are all sitting on the edge of our seats afraid that something is going to happen at any minute. Finally we arrive back to Escala, once we arrive at the apartment we are let out a collective sigh of relief.

"What the fuck happened?" Christian says rushing towards us, pulling me close to him.

"Christian, let's go into the great room. I think everyone could use a drink," I suggest.

Gail quickly pours Mia, Kate, Christian and myself a glass of wine before setting out some light snacks nearby. Even though we just ate lunch we all help ourselves to the snacks; the food and wine both helping to settle our nerves.

"Mr. Grey, we had just returned to the parking lot from having lunch when we found the SUV covered in white paint with flat tires. I immediately surveyed the situation and the surrounding area, there was no immediate threat that I was able to identify. I contacted Taylor who quickly arrived to transport everyone back here. The vehicle has been towed to the dealership," Sawyer explains.

"Barney is reviewing footage from the security cameras however he has warned that the images are very blurry and distorted as the cameras were some distance away from the SUV," Taylor adds.

"There was no one near the car when you approached it?" Christian asks.

"No sir," Sawyer quickly answers. "There were a few people getting in and out of cars but they were further towards the front of the parking lot. There were no cars backed on either side of us and only one parked in front of us."

"Has there been any movement on finding Elena? Could this be her?" Christian asks angrily.

"There have been a few sightings of her but nothing that anyone can confirm yet. The car that was used to hit Ana was found late last night in a deserted area," Taylor says.

"Why am I just hearing about this now?" Christian demands.

"The detective emailed me moments ago to confirm that the vehicle found had been the one that hit Ana. It appears the vehicle was purposely set on fire therefore they had to wait until the trace came back on the VIN number before they were able to confirm that it was the same vehicle," Taylor explains.

"Where was the car found?" I ask.

"A couple of hours from here in a deserted parking lot," Taylor replies.

"So that means she is probably still fairly local," I sigh.

"Or it means she had someone do this for her," Taylor suggests.

"Who else would she get to do it? Leila is safely in a hospital receiving treatment and this Murphy person is in prison awaiting trial," Christian points out.

"I don't know sir," Taylor admits.

"Why can't she just leave you both alone? What does she want from you?" Mia asks.

"To break us apart," I answer honestly.

"But why? What does she expect to get out of it?" Kate asks.

"I pulled all financial support from her salons; it's likely she would have to had to close them in the next couple of months if she didn't find another investor," Christian answers.

"And she thinks if she broke up you and Ana that you would give her money again?" Kate asks.

"I don't know what she is thinking," Christian frowns. "Never would I have thought she was capable of arranging for someone to try to kill Ana, yet she did."

"So what now?" Mia asks.

"We tighten security," Taylor answers. "The fact that she got to our one our vehicles today is concerning-"

"I think she was there today," I whisper.

"What? Did you see her?" Christian asks worried.

"No, not exactly," I answer. "But I felt like we were being followed or watched all day today. I couldn't shake the feeling no matter what I did. I didn't see anything though…"

"I scanned the area whenever we stopped as I could tell that Ms. Steele felt uncomfortable but at no time did anyone stand out. We were not followed that I was able to determined," Sawyer explains.

"Going forward, Ana I'm going to assign two security guards to you at all times when you are in public places. Once you start work at the hospital I believe Sawyer will be sufficient given the level of security already in place at the hospital. We will have at least three members of security directly with the two of you at the gala in addition to the security we already have in place for the event," Taylor explains.

"Maybe starting at the hospital right now isn't-" Christian begins to suggest.

"Don't say it," I warn. "I am starting at the hospital on Monday, I don't care what is happening at that time. I am not putting my life on hold because of this bitch!"

"I don't think the hospital is going to pose a risk, Mr. Grey. I have already reviewed the floor plans and identified the area that Ms. Steele is going to be assigned to. This only one entrance to the area the publication department is placed in which will allow Sawyer to monitor everyone who comes in and out of the area," Taylor explains.

"I still don't like the idea," Christian grumbles.

"I'll be fine," I assure him.

"Ummmm….I know this isn't the best time but I need to head home. I have a date with Elliot in an hour that I need to get ready for," Kate interrupts.

"Of course, Sawyer will drive you and Mia home," Christian says apologetically.

"I can call a cab Christian," Kate suggests.

"No, of course not. Sawyer?" Christian asks.

"It's not a problem ma'am," Sawyer confirms.

After dinner, we review the video footage that Barney was able to obtain from the shopping center. As Taylor warned the footage is essentially useless. The video was taken from so far away that you can't make any details out about the person. What we do see is an individual who is wearing a long sleeve jacket with a hood and baseball cap approaching the SUV about an hour after we arrived. They seem to just appear on camera carrying a duffle bag, you never see them exit or enter a vehicle. We watch the person throw a container of paint at the SUV and then slice the tires with a sharp knife. The person packs everything back into the duffle bag and walks away as if nothing happened. Christian rewinds and forwards the footage several times but it only makes him more and more angry as he realizes he cannot identify the person. My gut says it's Elena but without a better view we can't confirm it.

The next day, Christian reluctantly returns to GEH; he tried insisting he should remain at Escala with me just in case something happened. I was finally able to convince him that he should go to GEH when I promised that I would not leave Escala today. I didn't have anything planned anyway so it wasn't as if I was cancelling plans to stay here. Gail and I spent the day preparing a roast for dinner; we both enjoy cooking and decided to try out a new recipe that Gail had found. It was a lot of work just to prepare it, but once it started cooking you could tell just by the smell that it was going to be a delicious meal.

"Ana, you have a delivery," Sawyer announces as Gail and I finish our lunch.

"I didn't order anything," I say cautiously.

"Mr. Grey and Taylor cleared it," he says.

I walk into the foyer and find at least a dozen backs from Neiman Marcus with new clothes, new shoes and even new jewelry. I immediately text Christian knowing that he is behind the new clothes.

_Do you know anything about a deliver? –A _

_I thought you might need something to wear to work next week –C_

_I'm sure I have something in that massive closet I could have worn –A _

_A new job calls for new clothes –C_

_You're spoiling me –A_

_I intend to do that for the rest of my life –C_

_After this no more….I don't even want to think about what all this costs on top of the dress I bought for the gala yesterday –A_

_Then don't think about it –C_

_You drive me crazy –A_

_You love me –C_

_That I do –A_

_I love you too –C_

"What's all this Ana?" Gail asks.

"It seems my husband thought I needed new clothes for work next week," I laugh.

"That was very thoughtful of him," Gail says.

"Yes it was," I smile.

"How about we take these upstairs? I can help you put it all away if you want?" Gail suggests.

"Thank you," I reply.

After nearly an hour, all the clothes are unpacked and hung up in our closet. Christian ordered so much that I could probably wear a different outfit every day for three weeks without having to do laundry. I know this is something I'm definitely going to have a difficult time adjusting to, the man literally seems to just throw his money around. I have no idea what is financial situation is but I can't help but worry given how careless he seems with it. I'm sure he has financial advisors but still…

"There you are," Christian walks into the library a few hours later.

"Hi," I set down the book I was reading and kiss him.

"Did you like your delivery?" he asks.

"I did," I smile. "But I wish you would stop spending so much money on me."

"Baby, it's nothing," he says.

"I just spent a lot of money on the dress for the gala, now you buy me more clothes than I could possibly need, not to mention the wedding in Vegas which I know must have cost a fortune-" I begin.

"Baby, it's not an issue. Trust me," he interrupts.

"It's a lot of money to suddenly spend Christian," I point out.

"I have more money than I could ever spend in a lifetime Ana," he explains. "I closed a deal yesterday that put more than four million dollars into my pocket. That was from one deal, one project – forget the deals that I have closed in the last year which all typically result in a rather large profit. I could retire right now, continue living at my current means and still die at a ripe old age with billions of dollars in the bank. Trust me when I tell you that spending money on the wedding, on the dress or on a work wardrobe is nothing. Hell all those combined don't cost half of my weekly salary."

"Oh," I say surprised.

"See, nothing to worry about," he smiles before kissing me again.


End file.
